Buzz gets some troubling news from his doctor and starts to confront the realities of his physical limits, leading him to shop around for some new exercise experiences. But when he pushes it a bit too far, Gloria and Henri are not pleased with him. Meanwhile, Gloria learns more about — and embraces — some of the modern ideas of “youth today,” such as legal marijuana edibles and ethical non-monogamy, and brings Buzz along to learn more about the polyamorous lifestyle at a gathering.

Transcript

[00:00:09] Buzz: Me like a million other people in this town. I’m an actor.

[00:00:12] Back seat passenger: It’s an expensive city, man. You gotta hustle here.

[00:00:16] Buzz: . How are you? How are you?

[00:00:18] Dr. Srikuerja: Fine, yourself?

[00:00:19] Buzz: I’m okay. I’m all right. Where am I going?

Uh, this is Buzz. There’s a little bit of baggage I’m bringing with me to la and that’s the fact that I had a heart attack in December of 2020.

[00:00:29] Gloria: I think you’re gonna be a cool old person.

[00:00:31] Minda: I hope so.

[00:00:32] Gloria: That’s my. Mind way is my friend that I met at an artist event. She’s 30 years old.

[00:00:39] Buzz: You believe all men or you believe all men are basically cheaters.

[00:00:42] Gloria: I don’t listen. All men cheat, but I think a lot do.

[00:00:47] Jason: Hi Gloria. I’m Jason.

[00:00:49] Gloria: Nice to meet you. Jason. How’s your day going? I’m not sure where this is gonna go. I think there are things that are part of me and my little. [00:01:00] Qualifications that I’ll work through, but I’m definitely willing to stick it out and see where it goes.

[00:01:07] Buzz: My name is Buzz.

[00:01:08] Gloria: I’m Gloria.

[00:01:09] Henri: My name is Henri.

[00:01:10] Elise: My name is Elise and I’m 60 years old.

[00:01:12] Henri: I am 62.

[00:01:14] Gloria: I’m 71.

[00:01:15] Buzz: 71 years old.

[00:01:17] Gloria: A few months ago, a documentary crew started following us around recording our every.

[00:01:22] Elise: Navigating everything from family

[00:01:24] Gloria: relationships,

[00:01:25] Buzz: work and more.

[00:01:26] Gloria: There was always a story worth telling,

[00:01:28] Buzz: and that’s what you’re about to hear.

[00:01:30] Henri: You’ll witness moments alongside us

[00:01:32] CAST: and you’ll get into our heads. This is being golden.

[00:01:35] Buzz: This is being golden.

[00:01:46] Minda: Gloria.

[00:01:47] Gloria: thanks for coming down to the boardwalk today.

[00:01:49] Minda: Yeah, of course. It’s gorgeous.

[00:01:51] Gloria: A great day for it. I’m meeting up with men, Wade today to go to a local marijuana dispensary in Venice. [00:02:00] I like to smoke and listen to music. Then I, I eat a lot.

[00:02:04] Minda: Oh. Okay.

[00:02:08] Toba: Hey y’all. How are you doing? Hi, I’m Gloria. I’m Linda.

Gloria. Awesome, awesome. Wicked. You guys smoke regularly, right? Or no? Not really.

[00:02:16] Gloria: I don’t,

[00:02:17] Toba: no, not really.

[00:02:17] Gloria: You know, I, I used to smoke

[00:02:19] Toba: Okay.

[00:02:20] Gloria: In my younger day, but, Okay. Every now and then I’ll smoke now. Okay. Do you make goldfish? You know the little crackers that are edibles?

[00:02:27] Toba: What I have are Cheetos.

[00:02:29] Minda: What?

[00:02:30] Toba: Cheetos. I have hot Cheetos.

[00:02:32] Minda: Can I see that?

[00:02:33] Toba: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me show you over here.

[00:02:34] Gloria: It’s been a while since I’ve been into a dispensary and looked at all the new stuff. You know, the vapes and the this and that.

[00:02:42] Minda: Do you like hot Cheetos?

[00:02:43] Gloria: Yes, I do.

[00:02:45] Toba: These ones

[00:02:46] Gloria: now what?

Now? This is how many milligrams?

[00:02:48] Toba: 10 milligrams.

[00:02:49] Gloria: boy marijuana and pot smoking has come a long way.

Maybe we should just get one of those.

[00:02:54] Minda: Yeah.

[00:02:55] Gloria: Split it.

You get a lot of senior citizens in here

[00:02:59] Toba: [00:03:00] actually I do.

[00:03:00] Gloria: You do?

[00:03:00] Toba: Yeah, quite a bit.

[00:03:02] Gloria: Yeah. At the community where I worked, uh, a lot of people smoked.

I love trying new things and I’m not terribly worried about what people think of me.

That’s the one thing I love about being in LA is that there’s lots of different lifestyles and luckily I do live here now cuz I probably would’ve been shot if I’d stayed in Texas and been the person that I am today.

[00:03:28] Toba: All right, so your total will be 97 14 cents today.

[00:03:31] Minda: Oh, I have a senior discount.

[00:03:33] Gloria: Discount

[00:03:33] Toba: . $2 86 cents will be a change today.

[00:03:35] Minda: Awesome.

[00:03:35] Toba: Thank you.

[00:03:36] Minda: Yeah, thank you.

[00:03:54] Dr. Srikuerja: Buzz. Nice to see you back.

[00:03:56] Buzz: Nice to see you.

[00:03:58] Dr. Srikuerja: Now let you sit up here [00:04:00] so we can examine you.

[00:04:01] Buzz: Okay.

[00:04:02] Dr. Srikuerja: Can you lie down for me?

[00:04:03] Buzz: I’m back here to see Dr. Sahara. I see him about every three months or so. Since my heart attack today, I’m expecting some blood work results. When I had blood work done three months ago, a lot of the results were right on the edge of being not so great.

[00:04:19] Dr. Srikuerja: Your cardiologist right now is Dr. Brara right.

[00:04:22] Buzz: I’m going to see him on September, whatever day.

[00:04:25] Dr. Srikuerja: So he did any of the stress tests or anything yet? That’s what we’re doing, right?

[00:04:28] Buzz: We’re doing the stress and carotid artery on in the same day.

[00:04:32] Dr. Srikuerja: Okay. So, alright. Uh, basically

[00:04:34] Buzz: having a heart attack really has changed, I guess my outlook on my physical being, I probably, you’re doing walking, survived it by the skin of my teeth, although I don’t really want know.

I think I felt my age when I laid there in the hospital after the heart. That’s when I felt like, oh shit. You’re 70

[00:04:54] Dr. Srikuerja: and you are up to date on all your vaccine?

[00:04:56] Buzz: Yes.

[00:04:57] Dr. Srikuerja: Okay. Pneumonia vaccine.

[00:04:59] Buzz: [00:05:00] Oh no, I’m not up to date on that one.

[00:05:02] Dr. Srikuerja: Come by next week, we’ll order one because we don’t want a person with a heart attack before and end up with pneumonia.

Right,

[00:05:09] Buzz: right. No, no, no. I don’t want that.

[00:05:11] Dr. Srikuerja: So as well as your laboratory is, is concerned. Yes. […] the bad cholesterol is 80. For somebody who have heart attack or heart problem. Yeah, we like it less than 70.

[00:05:24] Buzz: Wow.

[00:05:25] Dr. Srikuerja: Okay. Last time was 72, so I didn’t bother you. From 72 to 84, it’s going in the wrong direction because we want LDL to be less than 70 at least.

Okay.

[00:05:39] Buzz: Okay.

[00:05:42] Dr. Srikuerja: And then, uh, your blood glucose is 1 0 4. Which is considered pre-diabetic. So the treatment, or that is usually diet and exercise.

[00:05:57] Buzz: Okay.

[00:05:57] Dr. Srikuerja: Okay. Mm-hmm. , [00:06:00] uh, you are, you are walking, right?

[00:06:02] Buzz: Yes.

[00:06:03] Dr. Srikuerja: Okay.

[00:06:04] Buzz: I’m not running though cuz I’ve been told not to run into

[00:06:06] Dr. Srikuerja: Yeah, don’t run. Uh, Anyway, some of the results are not great.

[00:06:11] Buzz: I’m listen. I’m doing absolutely everything these doctors have told me to do from my sodium intake to what I have to do to fix the cholesterol numbers. I really believe that some of these things are just strictly out of my control.

[00:06:23] Dr. Srikuerja: All right, what else can we do for you today?

[00:06:25] Buzz: Nothing.

[00:06:25] Dr. Srikuerja: We answer all your question.

[00:06:26] Buzz: You did

[00:06:27] Dr. Srikuerja: Always nice to see you.

[00:06:44] Minda: It’s nice to like be by the beach.

[00:06:46] Gloria: Yeah. The sun’s coming out, which will be nice. It’s usually kind of overcast in the morning and about this time it’ll break.

[00:06:54] Minda: I heard you went on a date recently or a couple dates?

[00:06:58] Gloria: I did go [00:07:00] on. I’ve been on two dates. The first. Very nice man, and then met another man for breakfast and he was really nice.

[00:07:13] Minda: Are you gonna be dating a couple different people, do you think?

[00:07:18] Gloria: You know, I don’t know. I like having my options, but I like all the romance and everything that goes along with that. And I think when you’re dating several people, you’re just not gonna get that.

[00:07:30] Minda: So you could never be poly

[00:07:32] Gloria: what

[00:07:33] Minda: polyamorous cheating, but ethically basically is what

[00:07:38] Gloria: Okay.

[00:07:39] Minda: What that is.

[00:07:40] Gloria: So all parties know that.

[00:07:42] Minda: Yeah. All parties know. You could have a primary and just like another person, or you could have like a cluster of people, I guess

[00:07:51] Gloria: Poly cluster back. I was younger, the couples were called swingers, and oftentimes they dated the [00:08:00] people, but oftentimes they’d get together as a group.

[00:08:02] Minda: People like to call it, um, ethically non-monogamous. Now,

[00:08:06] Gloria: ethically, Non-monogamous,

[00:08:09] Minda: like half of Tinder is. I’m E M, Um,

[00:08:13] Gloria: e and m, ethically, non-monogamous,

ethical, non-monogamous.

It’s not anything I hadn’t heard of. It just has new terminology. It’s a little shocking to me that people actually put. On their dating profiles, that it is very acceptable and out in the open, which was not the case back in the sixties.

Have you ever tried it?

[00:08:39] Minda: I wouldn’t be opposed to it. I think I have some like non-conventional dating things that I do. I remember the last guy and we had a threesome with my friend,

[00:08:50] Gloria: a woman or a man,

[00:08:51] Minda: a woman, which is too much information.

[00:08:53] Gloria: It’s really not.

[00:08:54] Minda: Okay. I was just like, Oh, like I think I could do some like [00:09:00] unconventional styles of.

Dating and be open to that.

[00:09:04] Gloria: Yeah, maybe not.

One thing that I love about the youth today is that they’re very open and more accepting and that they feel very comfortable setting their own terms for what they believe is right for them. People of my generation, we’re kind of putting this little box of how we do things.

Yes, I think I might have been happier being born in this generation like men’s. I think that would be fun. .

[00:09:33] Minda: Okay.

[00:09:34] Gloria: I’m wondering about how it works. I’m gonna have to go buy a book on this. You think people think I’m real weird going in a bookstore and give me books on Poly?

[00:09:43] Minda: I don’t think you’d be the first person to ask.

[00:09:56] Buzz: I can’t believe how many people are on this hike.

[00:09:59] Gloria: Yeah. Don’t bring a [00:10:00] work anymore.

[00:10:00] Buzz: And it’s Tuesday.

[00:10:02] Gloria: That’s what I’m saying.

[00:10:03] Buzz: Yeah. It’s a week. It’s a school day.

[00:10:07] Gloria: So how’s this, um, hike feeling health wise for you?

[00:10:11] Buzz: Oh, this is great. I love this. I mean, but it’s all that I can do right now, but I’m trusting the fact that I’m being smart.

And monitoring the heart rate and monitoring my body. You know, and

one of the things that I’ve really had to get used to since my heart attack is that my exercise routine is just not what it used to be, because I’ve been advised not to do heavy duty cardio exercise, and this is about as heavy duty as I can get right now.

[00:10:40] Gloria: Oh hell no. What he says,

[00:10:42] Buzz: no on the stairs. No, we’re going left.

[00:10:45] Gloria: Not no, but hell no.

[00:10:46] Buzz: We’re going left.

You know, all through my childhood and teenage years and college years, yeah, I was an athlete and then being a dad, we were always a very active family. As I got a little bit older, running became a major part of my [00:11:00] life.

I ran over a thousand miles a year. Every year. The day before I had the heart attack, I ran six miles.

[00:11:06] Gloria: Could you, could you literally run this whole thing?

[00:11:09] Buzz: Yes.

[00:11:10] Gloria: Really?

[00:11:12] Buzz: I would love to run this. I’ve never thought that I would ever stop doing anything. I never had

post heart attack. Not being able to run is really hard for me to accept.

That was pretty devastating to me. That was mentally caused me quite a bit of anguish.

In my mind, I’m thinking, Yeah, let’s go for a run.

[00:11:34] Gloria: Right?

[00:11:35] Buzz: But in the back of my mind, I’m going. The doctor would not be a happy camper now, much less my kids would not be happy campers if something happened. So,

[00:11:46] Gloria: yeah, I think you should.

I’m take it easy.

[00:11:49] Buzz: I’m looking good boy. And wait until the doctor says go.

[00:11:52] Gloria: So your cardiologist is in two months.

[00:11:56] Buzz: It’s uh, it’s about six weeks away.

[00:11:58] Gloria: So when you can [00:12:00] run again and your doctor gives you the.

[00:12:03] Buzz: Yep.

[00:12:04] Gloria: Will it be harder for,

[00:12:06] Buzz: No, no, it’s just another challenge and the way that I’ve done it, I’ve had, you know, in past years I’ve had injuries where I haven’t been able to run for X amount of time,

[00:12:16] Gloria: but when you’ve had a heart attack, Yeah.

I think it’s not only the physical. I think it would, for me, it would be an emotional and um, I would be a little scared about it. Mm-hmm. , do you feel that at all? Do you.

[00:12:35] Buzz: I have a lot of opinions about that because I do run into a lot of people who are older who have given up. They just, they’ve given up.

There’s like nothing left.

You definitely have to work harder at this age to take care of yourself. Your metabolism has changed, your testosterone is almost gone, and it also is much easier to just kind of sit around and adopt a very [00:13:00] sedentary lifestyle, something that I am not willing to do.

[00:13:05] Gloria: So I have a story for you.

[00:13:07] Buzz: What do you have?

[00:13:10] Gloria: I met with my friend Mende. You know that’s the writer?

[00:13:14] Buzz: Yes.

[00:13:15] Gloria: She was telling me about this thing that is called ethical non-monogamy.

[00:13:23] Buzz: Okay. I mean, I guess I can kind of understand and

[00:13:26] Gloria: Put it on your, you put it on your profile so people know.

[00:13:29] Buzz: Oh, Siri, you put it really?

[00:13:31] Gloria: Yeah. You put the E in and, Yeah.

[00:13:35] Buzz: Okay.

[00:13:36] Gloria: And most pe I mean, young people realize I would, I wouldn’t have known what it meant. Ever since she told me about it, I’ve gone online and researched it a little bit. You know, we used to call it just an open relationship and that’s what it is.

[00:13:52] Buzz: Yeah, right. I don’t know that I could pull it off. I’m challenged enough to try to find,

[00:13:57] Gloria: See, I might could pull it off more today [00:14:00] than I could back then.

I was always too possessive back in the day.

[00:14:04] Buzz: Oh.

[00:14:07] Gloria: Hey, unless they’re lying to me. Lying is a whole different thing, but that’s, if it was understood, I could do it because

when I was younger, I don’t think I was that person that was secure enough to kind of go there. Now my lifestyle is very different and I think that it’s something that I want to explore.

[00:14:29] Buzz: It’d be interesting to see how many people would go, No, that’s then, that’s not.

[00:14:33] Gloria: I think a lot of people our age would, but I don’t know. I’ve never asked the question to people at this point in my life.

[00:14:40] Buzz: I mean, that. Gut feeling says more people our age would say no than yes to that concept.

[00:14:47] Gloria: And why do you think that is?

[00:14:48] Buzz: Well, I think it would start with old school. Morals. Morals, and yeah, you know, conservative mindset

[00:14:56] Gloria: . But if you’re honest and open with the person, is it even a [00:15:00] moral dilemma for you? If you’re both in agreement?

[00:15:03] Buzz: If you’re both in agreement, no. Then it.

[00:15:06] Gloria: I like monogamy. I always felt like I could do it, but I think relationships are really difficult no matter how much you love each other.

There are times when things just get very mundane. This is an option for people who have discussed it with each other, and I think there’s not one thing wrong with that.

Linda knows people who do. And apparently there are all these kinds of things like mixers and private parties and ways for people of this community to meet each other.

[00:15:39] Buzz: Okay.

[00:15:39] Gloria: I’m thinking if I could get her to set me up on one of these meetings, would you be willing to go as my date?

[00:15:48] Buzz: Sure.

[00:15:48] Gloria: Okay. I’ll talk to,

[00:15:49] Buzz: I’m open for new admissions.

[00:15:52] Gloria: She can do that for me and

[00:15:53] Buzz: I may not come home with you.

[00:15:55] Gloria: That’s right. You know that I’m not gonna let you come home with you , so there’ll be no [00:16:00] decision making on your part.

[00:16:01] Buzz: Okay. Okay. Right, right.

[00:16:02] Gloria: That much excitement might give that heart attacks.

[00:16:06] Buzz: may, but what away may have to go in with a heart monitor on. , Let me look at my blood pressure right now. Oh yeah, I, I’m good. We can go .

[00:16:15] Gloria: We’ll figure it out.

[00:16:15] Buzz: Okay.

[00:16:26] Stefanie: Hi, welcome to the Barbosa Method. It’s Stephanie.

[00:16:29] Buzz: I’m Buzz. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

[00:16:31] Henri: I’m and nice to meet you Stephanie.

[00:16:33] Stefanie: Nice to meet you. So I heard you

[00:16:35] Henri: Andre here and Buzz and I are taking a fitness course called the Barbosa Method. Buzz has been wanting to up his physical routine, so I invited him to this class

[00:16:47] Stefanie: work.

Um, this workout was actually created around a six year old woman who is going on dialysis. Um, I think this is the best class for seniors because it’s a full body, low [00:17:00] impact workout that is all done on the floor. Oh, so there’s no waste or no machines. It’s all about posture, alignment, and body awareness.

[00:17:06] Henri: Sounds good.

[00:17:07] Buzz: I’ve never heard, I’ve never heard of this. And this is a new.

[00:17:10] Stefanie: So lay on your back. I put you guys this way so you can see each other. Here we go. Arm side.

[00:17:16] Buzz: This class is not exactly something I would really ever go for. It’s just not as high intensity as I really would like it.

But since this has been okayed and approved by my doctors, I’ll give it my best shot.

[00:17:32] Stefanie: Like physicians inch off the floor. Wanna squeeze your butt? Tuck your pelvis underneath. Flex. Now we’re gonna turn out, straighten your legs more.

[00:17:41] Henri: Ooh.

[00:17:42] Stefanie: Hold knee.

[00:17:45] Buzz: Don’t go real well.

[00:17:46] Stefanie: You can totally do it. Are you ready?

[00:17:48] Buzz: Yeah.

[00:17:50] Stefanie: Great job. Great job. Bring your shoulders back. This is your new posture. Keep your arms straight.

[00:17:56] Buzz: That feels really natural.

[00:17:57] Stefanie: I know, right? ? It looks [00:18:00] much better. I promise you. This will save your back, which will save your life.

[00:18:03] Buzz: Yeah.

[00:18:03] Stefanie: Having a little bit higher and oh, he just rolled out and.

Let’s do crunches at 90, both legs to 90 hands behind your head, upper body comes off.

[00:18:16] Buzz: Well, I totally have felt my body change since I stopped running.

I’ll be honest, I am surprised at actually how this class feels. It’s, uh, it’s. A little more challenging than I really thought it was going to be, and I just don’t feel like I’m as in shape as I had been in in past years.

[00:18:37] Stefanie: Last one. Yes ma’am. And hug it in. That was fun.

[00:18:42] Henri: It was . How you doing there boss?

[00:18:45] Buzz: What?

This is gonna hurt. This is gonna hurt tomorrow.

[00:18:48] Stefanie: Look in the top mirror. Make sure your body’s in perfect alignment. What the hell kind of line are you making over here, sir? Go eight, seven. That’s it. [00:19:00] Look up there.

[00:19:00] Buzz: This is a flexibility thing.

[00:19:02] Stefanie: Some of its strength came forward.

[00:19:09] Buzz: What are you laughing about?

[00:19:11] Henri: You

personally? I really like the class, the fact that it’s designed for seniors. I love the pace of the class. I mean, it’s great for me and I think it’ll be great for Buzz too, but he seems kind of frustrated that he’s not doing well at the class, and I think that’s kind of silly because he’s gotta build up to it

[00:19:29] Stefanie: lower.

Four and up, up. Last two, last one and lower. Oh . Thank you guys so much.

[00:19:39] Henri: Oh my.

[00:19:40] Stefanie: You really great job you guys. Thank that was you was very,[00:20:00]

[00:20:03] Gloria: We have to wear a name kit,

[00:20:05] Buzz: I guess.

[00:20:06] Gloria: What name are you going to use?

[00:20:07] Buzz: I don’t know,

[00:20:09] Gloria: Gloria. Here. Buzz and I are at a bar in Hollywood for a polyamorous mixer.

[00:20:15] Buzz: We got a lot of booze.

[00:20:17] Gloria: Sexy cocktails. It says seasonal sexy. What’s that?

It’s cocktail hour for people who are ethically non-monogamous, and I think it looks kind of interesting so far.

[00:20:28] B: Hi, nice to meet you.

[00:20:29] Buzz: Hi,

[00:20:29] B: I’m B.

[00:20:30] Buzz: You’re B?

[00:20:30] B: Yeah.

[00:20:31] Buzz: I’m Buzz. I’m B.

[00:20:32] B: Yes. You’re a B too.

[00:20:33] Buzz: I’m a B.

[00:20:34] Gloria: Cheers.

[00:20:35] Buzz: Cheers.

[00:20:36] Gloria: In looking around, it’s mostly couples, but there are some single people here and they’re very good looking people, which was a pleasant.

[00:20:44] Mixer Person: John first.

[00:20:46] John: Nice to meet you.

[00:20:47] Buzz: To meet.

[00:20:48] Gloria: You meet.

[00:20:48] John: Nice to meet.

[00:20:49] Buzz: Yeah.

[00:20:50] John: You’re rolling. How’s it going?

[00:20:51] Buzz: Good.

[00:20:51] Gloria: Good, good.

[00:20:52] John: Yeah.

[00:20:52] Gloria: Yeah.

[00:20:53] John: Meet anybody interesting here tonight?

[00:20:55] Buzz: Uh, not yet.

[00:20:56] John: No.

[00:20:57] Buzz: What do you think is the advantage to [00:21:00] this?

[00:21:00] John: To polyamory?

[00:21:00] Buzz: To polyamory?

Yes.

[00:21:02] John: And I can only speak me personally.

[00:21:03] Buzz: Correct.

[00:21:04] John: Um, so this is actually a universe to where you can have multiple partners.

Morals and honesty and kind of get what you want out of what you’re looking for. I was divorced and decided to just treat relationships a little differently after like a traditional marriage.

[00:21:21] Gloria: Did you ask her if she would be interested in this?

[00:21:25] John: I talked about this with my wife. Before we split up and she was not as open to other people as I was.

And then that creates a rift. And then after that she just thinks that you want to cheat on her and it becomes like a personal thing versus like a just a feelings thing. Right. You know?

[00:21:41] Buzz: Is it always about sex?

[00:21:43] John: Not always. That’s, I’m absolutely not. People still want partners. People still want companionship, but other people really just wanna get their rocks off and, and have fun and meet people.

I think it all depends on who you are and where you’re at in life, you know? Yeah. Are you a couple?

[00:21:57] Buzz: We are not a couple.

[00:21:58] John: So you would’ve No problem [00:22:00] if I asked her out

[00:22:01] Buzz: . Go for it.

[00:22:02] John: If I can get your number and maybe we can go out sometime, I’d love to like exchange information and maybe we can go out.

[00:22:08] Gloria: Okay.

I’ll give you my number.

[00:22:10] Buzz: Okay. Awesome.

[00:22:12] Gloria: I have to think about this,

so I’m noticing that Buzz is quite as into this as I am. You know, That’s okay. He’s gonna kind of do his own thing. I may just have to go out on my own for a little bit and see what’s going on. Nice.

[00:22:27] Mixer Person: Gloria, this is Dana.

[00:22:28] Dana: Gloria,

[00:22:28] Gloria: nice to meet you Dana.

[00:22:29] Dana: Nice meet you too. This is your first event?

[00:22:33] Gloria: Yes.

[00:22:34] Dana: And how does it feel so far? Feel good to,

[00:22:36] Gloria: I’m curious and I wanna know more about it

[00:22:39] Dana: for sure. Yeah. Yes. ,

Do you have a partner right now?

[00:22:44] Gloria: No, not really.

[00:22:46] Dana: Yeah, just kind of checking things out and you’re ready. Single and ready to mingle,

[00:22:51] Gloria: Meg. I just have to make up my mind, and sometimes that takes a while.

[00:22:59] Dana: I [00:23:00] just feel like my life is more expanded, like my husband and my consistent, um, boyfriend or partner, um, with them. I feel like it’s, it’s like another part of me

[00:23:16] Gloria: . So. And how long have you and your husband. Been involved in this type relationship.

[00:23:22] Dana: We’ve been open two and a half years.

[00:23:26] Gloria: And are there older people?

[00:23:28] Dana: Oh yeah. They’re seniors. Not a majority.

[00:23:31] Gloria: Right.

[00:23:32] Dana: But yes, absolutely. I’m 52. Like I have a date tonight with a 20 something year old. You’re . One thing I think you might be surprised about, I don’t know if you’re interested, but there are a lot of younger men that love, they all get.

[00:23:49] Gloria: You know, people are always saying that to me, but I just, I just can’t wrap my head around [00:24:00] why

[00:24:03] Dana: so I’ve. Got a lot of exploring of that.

[00:24:08] Gloria: Right.

[00:24:08] Dana: And they always say it’s because older women know what they want.

There’s not a lot of games.

[00:24:14] Gloria: That’s true.

[00:24:15] Dana: Their experience.

[00:24:17] Gloria: That’s true. Okay, keep going. Take it off the boxes.

[00:24:21] Dana: Someone even prefer an older mature woman’s; I know I have kids.

[00:24:29] Gloria: Are they blinds?

[00:24:31] Dana: And they’re like, No, I just, There’s some men that.

Love that natural aging of a body.

[00:24:40] Gloria: You have children?

[00:24:41] Dana: Yes.

[00:24:42] Gloria: Okay. How old?

[00:24:44] Dana: 14 and 18

[00:24:45] Gloria: age where they question things?

[00:24:48] Dana: Yeah. We’re gonna actually probably sit down and tell them both.

[00:24:54] Gloria: And how do you, how do you approach that? Have.

[00:24:58] Dana: Yeah, we have a poly [00:25:00] therapist. Oh. So we’ve talked with her extensively about how to handle things with them.

[00:25:05] Gloria: Okay.

So where is your husband tonight?

[00:25:08] Dana: He’s with his girlfriend.

[00:25:09] Gloria: Oh yeah.

And do you think it’s, it’s strengthened your marriage?

[00:25:15] Dana: You know, it’s, Strengthened us as individuals. Yeah. Because it’s hard to hide insecurities and unhealed parts of yourself. Mm-hmm. from this lifestyle. Anything that’s like there, this kind of brings them up.

[00:25:34] Gloria: Right. And do you have someone that kind of helps you through trying times? One person say gets jealous and the other person is,

[00:25:46] Dana: Yeah. So we read books. We also have a support group,

[00:25:51] Gloria: right?

[00:25:51] Dana: And we have a poly therapist. Okay. They told us, they said, Okay, you’re married, you’ve got kids. You really need to do all these [00:26:00] things to make sure your marriage stays strong.

Okay? So we listened.

[00:26:06] Gloria: You know, I didn’t know how I was gonna feel about this situation. There was a lot to take away from this experience this evening. And um, I might even try to come again.

We’ll have fun tonight.

[00:26:21] Dana: Thank you.

[00:26:23] Gloria: But I love it that I met you and that we talked about stuff. I think it’s fascinating.

I really enjoyed meeting people who were open and honest. They seemed very forward thinking. It felt pretty good to be around that, and I learned a little something tonight.

[00:26:41] Buzz: Well, that was interesting.

[00:26:42] Gloria: Yeah, it was interesting.

Um,

[00:26:58] Buzz: So did you have a good night?

[00:26:59] Henri: [00:27:00] Yeah, it was good. I was a little nervous about today.

[00:27:03] Buzz: Oh, okay. Well, let’s go. Here we are. This is Brazilian Jujitsu.

[00:27:08] Henri: Oh, it looks pretty.

[00:27:09] Buzz: What do you think?

[00:27:10] Henri: I think it looks intense. I see somebody throwing her around. .

[00:27:15] Buzz: It’s gonna be fine. Come on, let’s.

[00:27:18] Henri: Buzz signed us up for a Jiujitsu class today, and I’m really kind of shocked giving how he did at the Barbosa class and not to mention it, everybody here is pretty much 30 years younger than us.

People are flinging on the mats. I don’t even know how I’m gonna feel seeing Buzz do something like that. I mean, he’s 71 years old. .

Nice to meet you.

[00:27:42] Gerson: My name is Gerson. Nice to meet you. Very nice to meet you. Very nice to meet you. You know when we train a martial arts, especially Ji, it’s based on self-defense.

[00:27:51] Henri: Yes.

[00:27:51] Gerson: And attitude is everything. Okay? So one thing we do here with, we teach the, the students when they start is to something we call [00:28:00] break the fall. So look what we gonna do. I’m gonna cross my arms like an ex, and then I’m gonna throw myself back and hit and sit up again. Sit with my legs.

[00:28:12] Henri: I like that.

[00:28:12] Gerson: Okay, So bus,

[00:28:14] Buzz: you want me to go?

[00:28:17] Gerson: Nice. Okay. Your head touched the ground.

[00:28:19] Buzz: Yeah, it did. It got Okay.

[00:28:21] Gerson: One more time.

[00:28:22] Buzz: Yeah, Yeah.

[00:28:23] Gerson: Right here.

[00:28:24] Buzz: All right.

[00:28:26] Gerson: Don’t hyper extend your legs because I might push down.

[00:28:28] Buzz: I am just looking for something that pushes the intensity a little bit further that can maybe replace that runner’s high.

[00:28:37] Gerson: I’m doing a grip, we call Gable Grip

[00:28:39] Henri: right now.

[00:28:41] Gerson: Put your hands on my neck. Choke me now. Both hands, both. I’d say grab strong man. . Come on. Yes.

[00:28:52] Buzz: Okay. Oh, mama. Yeah, that one. That one’s a little more complicated.

[00:28:56] Gerson: Go.

[00:28:58] Buzz: I just, I’m just trying to see. [00:29:00] I don’t know what I’m doing,

[00:29:01] Gerson: so it’s like, Look at me, Look at my, for like this.

You see? I’m ready to fire shot. You see?

We call this guard, .

[00:29:09] Buzz: Guard,

[00:29:10] Gerson: Guard […] because the person can fire a kick and then I go back. Don’t keep playing. That’s okay.

[00:29:18] Buzz: So this

[00:29:19] Gerson: fire shot,

[00:29:19] Buzz: fire shot.

[00:29:20] Gerson: Bring your few more times, guys. Few more times.

[00:29:25] Henri: Okay.

[00:29:26] Gerson: Yes, yes. You see?

[00:29:31] Henri: Oh, I could really feel that one.

[00:29:32] Buzz: Oh yeah.

[00:29:35] Gerson: So you, you don’t wanna do. You don’t need to go on your knees. That’s the worst position. You can be on the street fight guys, by the way, when somebody mouths you or take your back because he can’t choke you out. Kill you.

[00:29:46] Buzz: Well, you put me on the ground,

I’m not getting up.

Right.

[00:29:48] Henri: You don’t wanna be in that position.

I see the way that everybody else is looking, it’s making me feel uncomfortable being the oldest person here. I mean instructors trying to do his best that he can to try to [00:30:00] tailor to us, but I really think we’re in over our heads

[00:30:04] Gerson: guys. I hope you have enjoyed. Good job.

[00:30:06] Henri: Thank you.

[00:30:07] Gerson: Good job, buddy.

[00:30:07] Buzz: Thanks.

[00:31:01] Buzz: So buzz here, I’m, uh, laying my head down, taking a nap after. doing something that was probably not the smartest thing in the world. I went for this run and um; I thought I could go for a run. It felt like going for a run. So against all better wishes from a lot of people, I went for a run very shortly into this run.

Um, my chest started hurting. My breathing was heavy, scared me. Fortunately, the, uh, production crew was around during, during all of this. So, um, I wasn’t alone. Um, thank goodness. And, um, so I’m just laying here recovering, feeling a little dizzy and not feeling really great. Um, this was not the smartest thing in the world to do right now.

It was, uh, you know, just pushing those limits and I pushed a little. Thankfully nothing serious [00:32:00] happened. I’m okay, and I’m very, very grateful for that and grateful just to be basically still laying here breathing and just a lot going through my head. Why did I do that?

I dunno why I’m getting emotion.

Ah, God damn.

[00:32:50] Minda: Gloria. Hey, it’s so good to see you.

[00:32:53] Gloria: Bless you.

I’m meeting mind way for coffee today, and I’m anxious to tell her what I [00:33:00] experienced at the.

[00:33:02] Minda: How was it?

[00:33:03] Gloria: Well, I thought it was kind of fun, you know, Buzz and I went and I don’t think Buzz, that was quite as much fun as I did.

[00:33:13] Minda: Oh, was it all ages?

[00:33:14] Gloria: Yeah, Buzz and I sat down at a little table and this young man, they said, You know, I’m interested.

and I gave him my number and I intended to meet up with him like in a restaurant or something for dinner. And he was really good looking. He was darling at the last minute I got coffee, Oh, and I canceled. And he was very sweet about it.

[00:33:41] Minda: So you feel like hot now, You’re like, Oh yes, I still have,

[00:33:45] Gloria: I’ve always felt hot because

[00:33:46] Minda: you are hot, gorgeous.

Iconic, legendary .

[00:33:50] Gloria: So true. But, um, I met this one woman and she seemed to be my age. She was very nice. She was married. [00:34:00] I asked her where her husband was, and she said he was going to a baseball game with his girlfriend. The interesting thing that she said to me was that they have these whole groups where they.

Therapy together.

[00:34:13] Minda: Really?

[00:34:14] Gloria: Yeah. They have like a therapist that will help you work out any conflicts, like jealousy issues.

[00:34:21] Minda: Ooh. Did it sound interesting for you?

[00:34:23] Gloria: You know, at the end of the party I got a lot of good information. I think some people can, and apparently a lot of people can, but for me, I just don’t think it fits for me.

But I can see why people do it, and especially young people. It’s like, that’s. Much more evolved, I think, than the way people of my generation think. I, I don’t think men and women are basically cut out to be monogamous.

[00:34:55] Minda: Wait, so you are, you’re like, uh, inside world poly, But [00:35:00] I can, can’t do it .

[00:35:00] Gloria: I know. I, but, but if I’ve been that woman.

My husband was at a ball game with a woman. I just couldn’t quit thinking about that all evening, and I just would never want to, um, let him date other people, or I wouldn’t date other people. It would just, I think it, for me, it would destroy the relationship.

[00:35:25] Minda: So you want, you’re a one man girl.

[00:35:28] Gloria: I think there’s pros and cons, but I can think.

In my mind, only because I haven’t done this, that there are many more dangers than pleasures. The fear that I have is that I think it takes a lot of work and that you may end up losing someone that you love very much because I think we can’t determine what our heart wants, and I think sex is [00:36:00] a big.

[00:36:02] Minda: big time.

[00:36:02] Gloria: Yeah. That’s all.

[00:36:03] Minda: Yeah, sure. He’ll understand.

Think of, Oh, I think it’s good. And I think you’re like smart for setting boundaries and not wasting your time either. Like you know what you want.

[00:36:12] Gloria: Right. And I’ve told you before, I definitely have trust issues. So even though a person that I loved, if we both agreed to do this sort of thing, I don’t think I would ever feel enough trust to be comfortable.

That he wouldn’t lead me or something new and exciting and, and that’s risk taking for me. And you know, bottom line is I would feel like if he wanted to be with another woman, then he wasn’t that interested in being with me anymore.

[00:36:50] Minda: Yeah. I think dating puts us in all these mind games of like

[00:36:53] Gloria: Right. And the anxiety that it produces, I think.

[00:36:58] Minda: Yeah, it sounds like for [00:37:00] you, you’re like, Oh, the tradeoff would be like an exciting sex life, but then with all these emotional right pitfalls,

[00:37:05] Gloria: right? So I don’t know. I’m not a therapist. . Maybe it’s easier not to know.

[00:37:15] Minda: , you’re like, Ah, cheat on me. I’m not doing poly though, .

[00:37:19] Gloria: I can’t handle all this honesty.

I do want a one-on-one relationship.

I sometimes wonder what my next relationship will be and how it would. Into the norms of dating today. I’m never going to be a traditional type gal, but this is just a step out of the boundary for me. Do this behind the,

I mean, seriously, I could not get past it. My husband was on a date with another woman.

[00:37:50] Minda: What would you be doing?

[00:37:51] Gloria: I’d probably. Go to the baseball game and dress up and wear a little hat and sit behind them and see what their relationship was really all about. ,

[00:37:59] Minda: [00:38:00] I think you; you don’t want a relationship. You wanna be the Pink Panther. You love surveillance. I do.

[00:38:18] Gloria: Inhale up. Exhale down. Grab your elbows.

[00:38:25] Henri: My elbows, Oh Lord.

[00:38:27] Gloria: And let your head hang real heavy.

And just, just

[00:38:30] Buzz: on re and I are at Gloria’s doing a stretch session together, which will be very good for us after the kinda week that we all have had.

[00:38:39] Gloria: Whatever’s comfortable for you. If you can keep your leg straight.

That’s a better stretch.

[00:38:44] Henri: Feels good

[00:38:45] Gloria: Does, doesn’t it?

[00:38:46] Henri: Mm-hmm. .

[00:38:48] Gloria: And then hang one more time.

[00:38:50] Henri: That’s a nice stretch.

[00:38:53] Gloria: And then roll up.

[00:38:55] Henri: Slowly rolling up.

[00:38:57] Buzz: I. I, [00:39:00] against the better judgment of my doctors, decided I’d try to go for a run.

[00:39:04] Henri: What?

[00:39:04] Buzz: And I, and it was a little difficult to breathe.

It was, uh, it was probably a little bit too aggressive

[00:39:10] Henri: for God’s sake.

[00:39:11] Buzz: I was just being a bad boy.

[00:39:12] Gloria: What the fuck are you thinking?

[00:39:14] Henri: Seriously? I’m so disappointed.

[00:39:16] Buzz: Yeah, but don’t beat me up.

[00:39:17] Henri: Something like that. I mean, I don’t even know why you would take the chance. Be honest.

[00:39:21] Buzz: I mean, I didn’t set out to go run a 10. Probably not even a mile. It was probably not even a mile out.

And it started to get a little, It started with a little heavy breathing and then I just got a little lightheaded. That’s all.

[00:39:33] Henri: Oh my goodness.

[00:39:34] Buzz: I stopped. I did stop.

[00:39:35] Henri: I, I hope so.

[00:39:37] Buzz: I stopped and I did talk to my doctor, and he said to me that I did too much too soon.

[00:39:43] Henri: Okay.

[00:39:43] Buzz: But I’m okay.

[00:39:45] Henri: I don’t know. It scares me that you would do that against doctors’ orders.

[00:39:49] Buzz: I, yeah

[00:39:50] Gloria: . Did it scare you enough not to run,

[00:39:53] Buzz: Not to do it anymore? Yeah, it did. It hit me upside the head and sometimes I need to be hit upside the head.

[00:39:58] Gloria: Well, but I, I mean, [00:40:00] I get it because it is kind of, That was your main thing. There is one piece of us that resents being told, You’re getting old and you should slow down.

And there’s another piece of our brain that says, I don’t feel old and I don’t feel like slowing down. I’ve got time, but your nose, spring chicken. And when something like this happens, I think the hardest part to see or to acknowledge is ours. That at this age our body is responding. Oh, yeah. Differently.

At 70, I feel great. Yeah. But at my age, I know my limitations. I’ve been lucky enough to be pretty healthy,

[00:40:42] Buzz: Right.

[00:40:42] Gloria: And not have anything like that, um, happen to me. But I was having difficulty remembering. what I was going to say, and I got so frustrated and I got real teary eyed

[00:40:56] Buzz: son of a gun,

[00:40:57] Gloria: and it was like, it just hid [00:41:00] me and I thought, You know, maybe I didn’t get enough sleep and we’ll, we’ll tell herself all these things.

And my sister, because she’s a gerontologist, I went home and told her and she said, Well, it’s happening to all of us. She said, You’re 71.

[00:41:15] Buzz: Mm-hmm.

[00:41:15] Gloria: doesn’t mean you have Alzheimer’s, and don’t be scared about it. Mm-hmm. , but everybody. That, you know, in our age group is gonna say, Yeah, this happens to me.

[00:41:25] Henri: And I think about my health too.

Like I’m too old to be falling. And I think, well, what if I don’t recover? I’ve got friends that’ve had two hip replacements, not one. And I do find myself kind of taking it a little easier. I do like, how old were you

[00:41:42] Buzz: when I look? I do think that I, I wasn’t personally accepting what my limitations were. Oh, no, you can’t be that old.

Oh no. You have to be able to keep doing this. Oh, no, you, why should you have to stop running? And now it’s about, well, maybe and, um, [00:42:00] As I have moved forward, I am getting more into understanding my age, understanding the, the limitations that come along with the age, and just realizing that I have to search out other activities, but more age appropriate, if that makes sense.

They, they talk about heart attacks or any kind of physical things like that, health-wise that happened to you as wake up calls? Well, this was a wakeup call. This was a wakeup call to say, if I don’t wanna just drop dead, find something else to do it, it’s reality. I mean, it’s reality that I am gonna be 72.

So it’s, that’s what it is.

[00:42:39] Henri: You didn’t,

[00:42:40] Gloria: Well, I think what we need to do, figure out what you’re gonna do instead.

[00:42:43] Buzz: Well, that’s what I Right. And that’s what I am, that’s what I am. I, I’m gonna, I’m gonna replace it with something else and I’ve, I’ve got my eye on

[00:42:51] Gloria: what’s taking you so long to figure that out.

[00:42:53] Buzz: No, it just, because I kept thinking I’m gonna be able to run again. Oh. Kept thinking, Oh, I’m gonna do this, I can do this, I can do this. Right. [00:43:00] I’ve started hiking more. Have you guys ever heard of Rocking?

[00:43:03] Henri: Rocking?

[00:43:04] Buzz: That’s a weighted vest.

[00:43:05] Henri: Mm-hmm.

[00:43:06] Buzz: and it apparently can like double the experience of even a five mile hike.

[00:43:12] Gloria: I think you’re pushing it to think about that so soon.

[00:43:15] Henri: I don’t. I’m sorry. This is like,

[00:43:17] Buzz: but I’m good now.

[00:43:18] Henri: This is like crazy white boy stuff. Seriously

CREDITS

BEING Golden is an audio reality original from Lemonada Media’s BEING studios. Executive Producers are Jessica Cordova Kramer, Stephanie Wittels and Kasey Barrett. Our co-executive producer is me. Sele Leota. Our segment producer is Mariah Gossett and our associate producer is Greta Stromquist. Liz Lipschultz is our Story producer, and Millee Taggart-Ratcliffe Is our Story consultant. Scott […] is our audio supervisor and field recordist. Additional field recording by Kurt […] and […]. Mix and sound Design by Ivan Kuraev and Bill […]. Our music is by Signature Tracks. Special thanks to Providence St. John’s Health Care Center and Rough Improv. You can find us online at Lemonada Media and connect with us across all social platforms. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and all other Lemonada Media series. Visit lemonadamedia.com/sponsors. If you liked what you heard today, please tell your family and friends to listen and subscribe, rate and review us on Apple, Spotify and wherever you get your podcasts. Until next time, thanks for listening and thanks for BEING.