Subscribe to Lemonada Premium for Bonus Content

Description

The planets are aligned and the stars are smiling down on us, because Jada Pinkett Smith is gracing the show this week. The aunties are adding to cart Jada’s new memoir “Worthy,” which chronicles her journey of self-love and healing. In a deeply intimate conversation, the aunties share with Jada how they entered their own shadowlands and came out the other side. Later, they put the retail in therapy with Jada’s cart from the holiday season. She’s got Willow Smith-approved speakers and a fantastic Christmas sock collection.

Lemonada has teamed up with Apple Books to bring you the Lemonada Book Club. “Worthy” by Jada Pinkett Smith is our audiobook of the month! Listen here.

We want to hear from you! Drop us a message on Speakpipe.

Subscribe to the Add to Cart newsletter for juicy extras.

Please note, Add To Cart contains mature themes and may not be appropriate for all listeners.

To see all products mentioned in this episode, head to @addtocartpod on Instagram. To purchase any of the products, see below.

• Bring the club to your house with these JBL Party Speakers
• World’s Softest Holiday socks make some big claims and deliver
• Roxane Gay’s book Opinions share takes you’ll actually want to read
• Jada’s good friend Chet Pajardo is giving a daily dose of inspo with his book 52 Weeks of Jefe Inspirational Quotes

Stay up to date with us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.

Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium.

Click this link for a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this show and all Lemonada shows: lemonadamedia.com/sponsors

Transcript

SPEAKERS

SuChin Pak, Jada Pinkett Smith, Kulap Vilaysack

Kulap Vilaysack  00:10

Welcome back to Add To Cart a show about the things we buy the things we buy into and what it says about who we are, I am Auntie Kuku Vilaysack.

 

SuChin Pak  00:18

And I’m SuChin Pak, we have, I mean, a major force on our pod today, and frankly, I’ve been feeling the change in the vibration of the universe. I mean, for a while now, since I picked up this book, and now it’s all coming together.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  00:38

I feel the same way, Su she shares such incredible stories and lessons in her new memoir. It’s an it’s an A memoir, it’s a memoir.

 

SuChin Pak  00:46

Okay. Ku, so romantic.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  00:49

I’m excited to dig into. She is multifaceted, like a diamond, an actor, producer, musician, host, author, and advocate. Her incredible career has spanned 30 plus years. So let me just give you a few little highlights. You’ve seen her uncentered off screen to the Matrix Reloaded and girls trip, she co hosts the award winning talk show Red Table Talk, which encourages open dialogue across all generations, please Add To Cart, Jada Pinkett Smith.

 

SuChin Pak  01:21

She’s in the room, ladies and gentlemen, she’s entered.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  01:25

Thank you for having me, guys, thank you.

 

SuChin Pak  01:28

I mean, Jada, to say your book worthy is a memoir. I mean, that’s partly true but it’s so also not true. I mean, it is such a big story. Like I sat down thinking, okay, it’s gonna be a celebrity memoir. I’ve read one of these, it’s gonna be cute. You know, we’re gonna get a little juicy tidbits. But I just cannot stress to those that are listening that haven’t picked this up yet, how much bigger it is than that. And for our listeners worthy is a Lemonada book club pick of the month for December and January. So we’re so honored to have you here. We’re going to continue discussions, you know, all over the place. But I guess my first question is, the title is worthy. What is the significance of that word to you?

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  02:18

You know, I think it’s one of those words where I think we all on some level are trying to figure out our self worth, you know, and on in different ways, right? And so, I know for me, I just struggled with that for so long, and just trying to figure out like, what does it mean to be here? What is self love? What is you know, like, and while I was writing this book, that word just kept coming up, you know, it was something that was far more accessible to me than self love, because love itself is so elusive, right? And so I’m still trying to figure out what that word means, right? But self worth, and I was like, oh, yeah, like, how do I value myself, and just the journey towards that. So, you know, worthy came up for me. And that way, is something that was just a bit more tangible, something that a concept I could reach a bit more than self love.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  03:20

Even though self worth is teaching me what self love is.

 

SuChin Pak  03:24

That’s a really interesting way because, because when you first look at the book in the title, you’re like, okay, what is this gonna mean for your journey? And then, and then as you get deeper and deeper into the book, and I’m telling you, you guys, like, I got to a certain point in the book, and I was like, oh, this is no longer about her. Oh, I was not expecting that Jada. And, and at first, I didn’t appreciate it, to be honest. I was like, I am not. I don’t know if I want to sit here, looking at myself, you know, but I was gonna read someone else’s story. And so when you put this out.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  04:02

I think I have just as to interrupt a little bit like someone told me once that, like, write so much about yourself that it’s about all of us.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  04:13

Yes.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  04:14

And that that came through.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  04:18

Yeah, so that was that was the purpose for me, right? Because I feel like even though I, yes, I’m telling him telling my story, but I feel like it’s a universal story. Right, and so I wanted it. That’s why I call it our the journey, right? Because I wanted people to see themselves within you know, my experience, even though maybe not the particulars. Maybe not the specifics, you know, but the overall theme, how do we obtain our own level of self worth, you know,

 

Kulap Vilaysack  04:50

And if you didn’t offer your experience, if you didn’t offer, at times granular, then it would be surface and then about no body.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  05:00

Right.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  05:02

I really I mean, I look at this book as an offering.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  05:04

Well, thank you, I appreciate that, because that’s what it felt like to me, you know, I really wanted, you know, I feel like for us as women, telling our stories authentically is still pretty tapped. You know, and not all of us feel safe to do that, you know, when I felt like, man, I’ve been through the gauntlet, I’m like, let me just and I know, when women felt safe enough to just be really straight up with me like unfiltered about their journeys. It was a, it was a game changer for me. You know, so I just wanted to be able to kind of offer that in some way.

 

SuChin Pak  05:48

I mean, you say that, and I think that I was thinking about this, because, the book is, you know, it goes from your childhoods, your 20s, and 30s, and 40s. And we reflect a lot on this show about, like, all those different versions of who we are. And for me, the 40s. And I think this is true for a lot of my friends is about the relationships that I have with my chosen tribe, my girlfriends, the friendships that I think maybe weren’t, you know, center place, you know, in my 30s and 20s, as I’m building my career and trying to, you know, have kids and all that, and then you sit back, right, and you have all of that. And for me, it’s been rediscovering how important it is to sit in friendship, but also in reflection, especially for someone who doesn’t like to go deep. You know what I mean? Like, that’s an uncomfortable place for me often. So I need that reflection, you know, whether it’s in reading something, because that it to me, reading this book was like sitting with a friend, you know, in that reflection, or it’s something like this, and I just wonder if that’s been true for you?

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  07:05

Oh, for sure. Yeah, absolutely. For me, reflection is so important. You know, because it’s through reflection that I really get to, that I really get to see myself. You know, to see the best of myself and the parts of myself that aren’t so great, you know, and I’m grateful for the friendships that I have in my life that can that can hold both those spaces, you know, that can hold the shadow and can hold the light, you know. And, for me, just having the willingness just in myself as well to embrace and accept both parts of myself. And it’s really, for me, just really nourishing and fulfilling. You know, when we talk about wanting to be whole, I feel like I can embrace more of my whole self through reflection.

 

SuChin Pak  08:03

There was a moment in the book for me where I had to just sort of like, close it and put it down and walk away for a moment and think, and I’m going to, quote a bit of what’s here. And you talk about your gilded cage, and that felt like a prison. And this one this part and I couldn’t remedy my shame about being unhappy. Am I inherently broken.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  08:33

On paper at all look, Grant, I have a beautiful family. The superstar has been the lavish lifestyle, fame and fortune. I had my own career, the freedom and support to pursue creative outlets. The sweetest part was my kids. Jaden, Willow, and my bonus centrais my three favorite people in the world. They were hands down. The best thing that ever happened to me. Yet, none of that prevented me from hitting the wall. I was speeding toward at 100 miles per hour. Knowing full well. This shits gonna blow.

 

SuChin Pak  09:12

Ah, Jada. I mean, I don’t know how many out there are listening that have said these exact words. But I can remember the gas station sitting at when I asked myself like, is something broken? Like, am I wrong? Like there’s something that can’t be fixed in me. And on paper in the photo album, is the most beautiful time of my life. Everything is in place. And so when you use the word shame about being unhappy, I was like that is that is the guts of what I’m talking about like, I struggle with this. And I have struggled with this for so long. So I want you to talk about that, because I really saw myself in that moment, when I read that.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  10:12

Let me tell you, it’s like when we’ve checked the boxes, yeah, check the frickin boxes, man. You guaranteed me.

 

SuChin Pak  10:25

This I was supposed to feel this.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  10:27

Where you are, where we came from, and where we started.

 

SuChin Pak  10:32

Yeah.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  10:32

That’s right like.

 

SuChin Pak  10:35

Everything should be solved […]

 

Kulap Vilaysack  10:38

Everything should be so.

 

SuChin Pak  10:39

It’s so confusing.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  10:41

We did the thing, right? And then we’re sitting there, we’re going okay. But where’s the red box with the pretty bow? You know, with all the fixings? Because that’s promised? That’s when you worked hard for.

 

SuChin Pak  10:57

That’s when we work hard for.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  11:00

We see, you know, kind of these other images out there.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  11:03

Like other people, well, they seem to have gotten it, they check the boxes, too and they’re acting like they got the red box, the bow, right.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  11:11

That’s never the truth, right. So I really felt so much shame that I had as I had achieved as much as I had. And I had the nerve.

 

SuChin Pak  11:26

The audacity.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  11:27

The audacity, to be unhappy. And then when other people made me feel like I had the audacity to be unhappy, I agreed. So now you’re doubling down on the shame, right? And so it took me a really long time to realize, hey, listen, it’s great to have all those things, right? It’s, that’s fine but if I don’t have myself with it, right, and I had to learn the difference between being capable, right and having certain abilities that I’m really, you know, really good at, that helped me obtain certain things versus having a really deep sense of self worth. They’re two very different things, and that was confusing, right? It was, be like, you have so much self confidence in my head, I have confidence in areas. That’s different, right? It’s like, okay, if you like, Jada, we’re gonna give you this role, and you know, you’re gonna play this kickass character, right? Oh, I know how to do that. You know, but now if you’re saying, hey, do you know how to set boundaries in your personal life in regards to protecting your peace and regards to protecting your heart, you know, some of the familial dynamics that might not be cultivated, because of my upbringing, right. And those are areas that I don’t have, necessarily the skill sets that help produce that sense of well, being, that helps me sit in a real foundation of self worth, right? And so that’s where I had to really make this distinction. And that’s when I realized I was like, oh, that’s the piece that’s missing like you are out here trying to achieve things to fill that hole, right versus no, no, you need to focus on really healing you know, these parts of yourselves this wounded little girl and and let me tell you, there’s not I hate when people I used to hate it when people talk about you gotta heal the inner child. I’m like, what the hell does that mean? I am grown.

 

SuChin Pak  13:46

Don’t talk to me about my inner child.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  13:51

And yet.

 

SuChin Pak  13:53

Here she is, like, she always is.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  13:57

Like she always is. And that’s who I had to get with. I had to get with little Jada and get with all of the wounded and aberrated messaging that I collected about myself as a child and re educate and heal myself. And so then once I started to do that, all of the achievements and all of that they can’t sustain us as the thing they’re just like, it’s just icing on top of the cake.

 

SuChin Pak  14:30

Yeah, and the thing about the the two things, you know, that you said about not only the shame, but also this skill set, you know, that often I feel like the people that look the most capable, the have the hardest exterior, that’s the have everything together that can produce 20 things at once without a hitch are the ones that are drowning the hardest and you the combination of those things, what happens is, that you just keep shrinking inside of yourself and that abyss, it’s the craziest, strangest dynamic, when someone tells you that questions, what you’re feeling, and then you believe that, and then it just takes you that much farther to ever come out with this, you know what I mean with that wound that needs to see the light, right?

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  15:30

Yeah, you, you just express it in a way that I never could really express the idea that you have, you know, you can have all of these big things happening going on, you could be doing 50,000 things but the internal part of you is shrinking and drying up and becoming so old. You know, and you’re disappearing. That’s strange, dynamic, to even try to explain to people, it’s so hard, you know, to even explain it. So even the people who were around me, when the book came out, it was really difficult for some of my closer friends. I had talked about it, but there’s something different when you can write your feelings on the page, you know, that? You know, and people.

 

SuChin Pak  16:21

Talk about that, yeah,.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  16:23

Yeah, there was just like, I, you know, I’m just so sorry, I couldn’t have been, and I didn’t know how to be there, you know, because people knew I was struggling. That wasn’t a secret. People knew I was struggling. But they couldn’t understand. They just couldn’t understand. They looked at my life and was like, you have everything in it, you know. But when they saw it on paper, it just hit him so differently. And I have to tell, you know, my friends, like, it’s nobody’s fault, it’s nobody’s fault because, you know, I didn’t even understand, I didn’t even understand what was happening. And that was another reason why I felt like the book was, I really wanted to write the book, because I feel like there’s so many of us who feel so many things that we don’t understand and we feel alone, and we don’t really have that place of communication. And I was like, I just wanted to put it out there, like, no, here’s what I was going through, and if you were going through the same thing, or have gone through the same thing, you are not by yourself, and there’s a whole lot of us out there. We might not know how to talk about it, we might not know how to say it, but there’s a whole bunch of us out there, you know.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  17:35

Jada, what’s been the most surprising part about one writing it but then there’s this whole process of releasing it into the world.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  17:46

Writing it was deep, you know, because I made a specific choice to write about the Shadowlands within myself going from you know, the art from unlovable to lovable, right. And so having to return to so many times in my life, to really having to talk about where I did not have that sense of self worth, you know, really having to reflect and go back into some really painful stuff. You know, when you write a book, you have to be so specific about how you describe things, you know what I mean to like, really, because you’re just trying to take a picture and an emotion from your spirit you know, the transfer it to someone else for them to experience it or see it exactly the way you did, right. It was really hard, but it was it was very healing as well, right because that anything that was leftover, I won’t say anything that’s left over, because there’s still a whole lot of stuff left over, but like, it’s like one more deep, one more deep cleaning of like having to go deep into the crevices of like, oh, man, connecting dots in different ways like, I got to see a level of generational connection between my great grandmother, my grandmother, my mother and myself, that I had made before I wrote this book, and even my mother herself had a DPLA and recognizing that a lot of her self worth, her lack of self worth came from my grandmother needing to keep appearances because of her history, and having these really unrealistic expectations of her daughter’s to have to live up to that my mother just never could live up to and she thought it was because something was wrong. With her, when in actuality, it was unrealistic expectations. And it wasn’t something that my grandmother did to hurt her.

 

SuChin Pak  20:09

No, to protect her even.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  20:10

It was about survival it was about, that’s right, and her trauma and stuff.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  20:16

And yet, we do our best. And sometimes it’s actually not the best for those we do it to.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  20:21

Exactly, and that’s when we have to learn how to have like, compassion, and empathy. You know, and I think, in writing this book, I was able to deepen the compassion and empathy for myself, as well as for, you know, my ancestors for those shoulders, I stand upon my paternal grandmother and my maternal grandmother.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  20:55

And when 2019, I did a documentary about going to Laos to find my birth father. And it was, as you described this very similar experience. When I released it was both cathartic, but then I also noticed something that much like a song. Whoever watched it, they were reflecting upon their own lives. And so when they were discussing it with me, it almost became like, it is my story. But it’s in the conversation is so imbued with the person who has taken it in. I wonder if you found that as well.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  21:31

Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, it’s my story. But people have embraced it as their story, you know, not not the actual story itself, but just the journey of it. People relate to it, and emotion, portion of it and so, even me, you know, I’m always I will always want to just take time when people are stopping me and talking about worthy because what it opens up and, you know, and really being careful with like, you don’t want to open people up like that, and then that, do your best to care for what you’ve opened up when they’re in front of you, you know what I mean? It’s been so beautiful because, listen, we’re all my belief is, we’re all here to help walk each other home. We’re all here to help each other heal. You know, we’re all here to share, whatever elixirs we find, to help walk through this, this thing we call life a bit easier. You know, people will often ask, Why share this, why I do that? And my whole why would you ever hold on to it? Like why would I hold on to that which I’m discovering that’s bringing me healing now. But the healing that that’s fine, right? Trying to hold on to these unrealistic, idealistic romanticized versions of living is not servicing anyone. And that’s the thing I had to realize in my own life. And I also had to be really okay with the fact that listen, the keep it real. It was very difficult for me to let go of my own romanticized idealized versions of my own freakin life. And I was freaking pissed. was very upset. When I realized I don’t have a frickin fairytale life. I was pissed, right and so I understand how in me expressing that and people having looked at my life and hoping that  was true, that idealized romanticized, fairytale life was possible. And me going, nope, sorry and people going God dammit Jada.

 

SuChin Pak  23:56

Smile.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  23:57

No.

 

SuChin Pak  23:57

And just act like it’s so happy. Yes,

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  24:00

That’s happy and act like this is accessible net, this, this is a reality and my whole thing is listen, going through the process of the rage of it all. I get it, because I went through the same process. But here’s what I know, too. That once we get past that, and once we’re able to embrace life for what it is there’s actually so much beauty in that. And it’s far more beautiful than trying to chase that which is not true.

 

SuChin Pak  24:35

Yeah, it’s unsustainable, and we talked about this like that icing, it’s a millimeter thick. And that’s where like, once you get through that, you know that first taste, there’s nothing left there’s no more it’s just icing. And I man I get that, I really get that and, that rage I think too is as women we often have trouble holding that and understanding it and then going deeper into it because the rage is the top layer, but like that vulnerability that hurt underneath, I will do anything. I will do, and I will hurt anyone. And I’m talking about my children, my husband, I mean, the closest to me to not touch that. Yeah, to just sit in the rage. And I have spent I’m now you know, 48. I mean, I still mostly sit in that rage, I can now see that there’s something there underneath, but it really fucking scares me.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  25:51

Yeah, it’s a scary place. And I think that, for me, what I found underneath that rage was so much despair. And that was the part and let me tell you, when we talk about spiritual warriorship those moments when I’ve had to sit in the deepest, darkest spaces have just deep despair and sorrow.  And hold myself there, be able to hug myself there, and survive, I’ve had like when they talk about dark nights of the soul, you know, and then when you come out on the other side, and you go, Oo, shit, I survived. Now, this, these are the places that we start to recognize we are enough, right, when we don’t have to reach for the bottle of alcohol, you don’t have to reach for sex, we don’t have to reach for whatever our via, you know, we had to reach for that apple pie, whatever our vices are, when we can be with it, we can allow our hearts to break. We can be with those intense emotions. And we can come through on the other side hole, I’m gonna tell you, there’s so much wisdom within those spaces. We’re terrified of them because they’re in hell but if we just trust, if we just trust, and once I started going into those areas of despair, and I’m only had to do it, you know, we don’t want to wallow there. And we don’t we don’t want to travel to those spaces. often, I’ve only had to go there like three or four times as me personally, like, the deep dark is. But it healed that rage. It helped me understand to what most of us are afraid of. And I understand why we’re afraid, and I understand why people will do anything to go there, and then it helped me understand certain behaviors that we have to come that we deal with in the world. And then you just more or less personally, it’s not about you know, people, people are in their own stuff, we just happen to be there.

 

SuChin Pak  28:07

In the same room right on the path in the line at the coffee shop.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  28:13

Somebody might, you know, throw, you know, throw me aside and call me a bitch on the road. Because, you know, I didn’t see them as I was making a right turn or what have you. But I also know that that’s not about me, even if I did make that mistake, the reactions not about me because people are struggling. And so when we go deep into our own struggles, we recognize I have so much compassion for why people choose not to not to go there and it’s okay.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  28:45

Yeah, I get it a lot of people don’t have models, and xamples. Like I would recommend both reading and listening to Jada’s book. But those moments where you tap into the rage, were fantastic I like it, I’m just gonna say that I like it. And why I like it is the difference between let’s say, from Jada, her rage or anger in these moments and times that really warrant that I will say is so different as somebody who is trying who’s done the work, then let’s say when my mom who undiagnosed war survivor would turn into a rage monster that was totally a love my mom, my mom’s upstairs demon, like, different to like it’s different.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  29:40

And that’s an interesting distinction.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  29:45

But in my lifetime, in my lifetime, so many times I didn’t want to have confrontation or I let things accrue and build up to where I was like that monster because I was running. I just want to to run away from from that I was running in the opposite direction, but I never allowed myself to feel those things that go to those places. But those things accrue into a bank with interest. And it’s like, yeah, I’ve come to a place where I really, I just know how to, like, tend to the fire a little better. Now, sometimes I don’t. And my husband will tell you that, yeah. And sometimes those you know, but but he that’s something you do talk a lot about, about being human and about, like, when I see somebody expressing themselves, I think that anger is a important thing. And I’ve learned to pull back from fearing that in me, that shadow self and that’s something Jada you talk a lot about your book of like marrying and, and really loving your whole self.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  30:47

What I love that you just said is like making space for that energy within yourself. When we learn how to hold that space for ourselves, we also learn how to hold that space for others, with, you know, people having to in respect, you know, it’s like, because sometimes when we’re in, especially in our intimate relationships, allowing that shadow to have its expression, and it’s, you know, I get physical and all of that kind of stuff. You know, we talk about that a little bit too in the in the book, like I will, and I, we would make these rules about, you know, don’t call each other names, that’s not custody each other. That’s not always the case. But we do pretty good with having rules. But Jay Shetty talks about this too, having rules for how you fight.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  31:35

Yeah, that was cool. That was, that took some therapy to kind of get there.

 

SuChin Pak  31:40

Mine is the words, but also, I just want to walk away.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  31:43

You want to run your narrative.

 

SuChin Pak  31:45

As soon as somebody as my husband starts to raise I’m like to bye. And he was like, no, that’s a rule. We can mutually agree to walk away but you cannot walk out, like that triggers a crazy, you know, abandon Rachel child, that you will never you won’t be able to take that back at some point. And I recognize that, and I agree with you, like when I read that part about you and will having rules about not using language that was my rule that I established. I was like, when I hear that word, the abused child shrinks down. And nothing you say or do well register, it’s done, I’ve gone I’ve left, like, I’m not here anymore. So it’s no point in having an argument with those words, because I’ve left you know what I mean, I’m not here, and so I think that’s so important to lay those ground rules to how you fight because loving is is that we get that too much. Yeah, I’m like, okay, enough we got it, we got the songs we got the movies we got we got it.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  32:53

I respected that you said at times it was to sanitize. And then it’s finding that middle ground and sometimes we go the other way is interesting,

 

SuChin Pak  33:03

Because then you hide in that because you can. That’s the thing, we’re very good I mean, I’m very good at hiding with in plain sight. Yeah, you know, so it’s like, oh, you want me to stay? Sure I’ll stay, I mean, I’m not here you got me a technicality. But guess what? I’m already at the grocery store home.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  33:26

Exactly.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  33:28

That’s the practice, you know, we always think practice, practicing love is like, oh, you know, practicing all of the good, fluffy, you know, fairy dust stuff. But man, like learning how to dance with each other shadows, knitting.

 

SuChin Pak  33:45

That’s the one, and you by the way, you can’t do that without agreement from the other.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  33:50

Yeah.

 

SuChin Pak  33:51

Do you know what I’m saying? Like, that’s the other thing I’ve learned about getting through some stuff with my husband is is that if you and I aren’t in agreement that we’re going to walk through the shadow parts of each other together.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  34:07

This ain’t gonna work.

 

SuChin Pak  34:08

Yeah, is your thing gonna work? It won’t, so that agreement between you and Will? I feel like his I don’t know. I’m maybe I’m reading too much into it. But it it feels like it was there early on, or is that something that you guys came to? As you came to it in yourself?

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  34:27

It was there early on. It progressed as we matured, but together, yeah, but together. We’ve taken some real deep, you know, journeys in that shadow world together, you know, and I feel like for long term relationships, it is a must and but it’s one of the most difficult things and that’s where most people quit, you know, and I get it because it is not only crap, man. It’s gnarly, and sometimes, you know, we’re in relationships, that we need to quit.

 

SuChin Pak  35:02

Yeah.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  35:03

Yeah, and I want to be very clear about that. Yeah, that’s very good. Um, relationships, that it’s time to go. All right, and specifically when people are not willing to do the work, but I’m very grateful, you know, for the kind of work Will and I have been able to do together and individually because really, it’s done it’s, you got to really want to do it individually, to eat in to do it, you know, together.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  35:42

Jada, thank you so much. We’ve added really to cart and now we want to see what you’ve brought us today. But the question we ask all of our guests is, how do you add to cart? How do you shop? How do you take things to you like?

 

SuChin Pak  35:58

I need to know Jada now, let’s go to the Shadowlands. Let’s talk about how we spend our money, ladies.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  36:06

If I’m on Amazon, I can go wow, crazy. Like I can think of all kinds of stuff that I need. Oh, I need some sort like, especially during Christmas time. I can’t have enough Christmas socks, and I can’t have enough Christmas pajamas. And you know, infinite different kinds of toothbrushes.

 

SuChin Pak  36:26

In Suchin Pak’s language. You’ve hit socks and toothbrushes. I just want you to know Jada since we started this. I think we started with socks and toothbrushes. You know, to me, like if you want to talk about the essence of this podcast, its size.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  36:40

It’s filling voids, our voids.

 

SuChin Pak  36:43

Yeah, that’s it. There will that’s it, there’s no other lane that we have discovered or will discover so.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  36:50

Yeah, I’m into it. Like my favorite shopping place is either, target and CVS. Listen, that to me, everything.

 

SuChin Pak  37:01

I blacked out. I have to be honest with you. I go in and I’m like, okay, I need to get my prescription. I mean, I have to tell you, I don’t know if you know about this. But CVS also has a scam called CVS books, you know, and they get you you know, these coupons every time you spend something, didn’t even give you a discount on it. I’ve talked about this on the show. I have a problem. And I run to my car and I look at the receipt and I go hang in I have to go back in because I have six bucks. Six free bucks, but I understand that those places. I don’t know maybe it’s the lighting. Maybe there’s no windows. Is that why there’s no light we don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  37:42

The other day looking for trash deodorizers because I’m crazy about fragrances. Okay, everything has to have a frig. If I opened up a drawer, I want to smell something. You know what I mean? And so now I found that they have trashed deodorizers and I’m like, where are your trash?

 

SuChin Pak  38:00

This is the first one you’re bringing? You’re bringing something new to the to the show Jada? I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Are you talking about scented trash bags?

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  38:11

I’m talking about they had these deodorizers that you can put in your trash cloud now.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  38:16

Like a glade or like a?

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  38:18

South scents you can.

 

SuChin Pak  38:22

Right on the inside, on the inside.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  38:26

In your trash. Let me tell you something. I tell you that brought me some joy.

 

SuChin Pak  38:32

People are like, have you seen Jada cuz she’s going through trash cans. I last time I saw her she was opened up.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  38:42

I just get obsessed about little things like that. I don’t know why. So trash. deodorizers, and then, but yeah, the Christmas socks had been me looking for the best brand of cozy Christmas socks.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  38:57

Well, in your cart. You have given us the world’s softest holiday socks.

 

SuChin Pak  39:03

World’s softest. I mean, that’s a bold statement.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  39:07

Isn’t that bold? But I’m telling you right now, it is a good sock. It’s a good sock and they have some really, oh, this.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  39:20

This is great, I didn’t know about this. I’m messing with like you know barefoot dreams and all this stuff. But you’re bringing me something that I didn’t know about and I.

 

SuChin Pak  39:32

This is like into the files. Now, how did you come upon this world softest sock, Jada?

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  39:39

Let me tell you, my girlfriend last year. Her name is Lauren London. She knows that I’m crazy about Christmas socks. And so she scoured she scoured the internet and she found these Christmas socks and she got me a bunch of them last year and let me tell you I wear them all year round. And so it’s become my favorite sock. So I’m sharing it with the world now.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  40:02

This is also an offering.

 

SuChin Pak  40:05

Yes, you in one of these just out out at CVS looking at garbage cans. That is either to me that is a woman healed. That is a woman that has completed her journey.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  40:19

I guess. It has the confidence I will wear. All year round, it’s called Happy Feet. I love it, I wear Christmas sock all year round.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  40:28

I’m inspired. I love, I am simply I am, yeah. Um, let’s talk about the JBL party speakers. Oh, wow, these light up like back in the day.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  40:42

I happened to be at my daughter willows house the other day, right? And okay, so here’s another thing. I’m kind of crazy about sound. Okay, she is too okay, because we were music family so sound is right. So she is playing this freakin speaker and it’s Bluetooth, and not only does it sound incredible, but it freakin lights, and I’m just I am, I am just in a trance watching this light up. And I’m like, whoa, did you get the speaker because it was like, No, I got the speaker because of the sound. It just happens to light up she said because I had that speaker first. But this sound was better. So it sounds good. And it lights up. I said I’m sold, I’m sold and so I said I’m gonna get some for people for Christmas.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  41:35

I’m sold to this is like oh my gosh, this must take you back to when you were dancing in the club’s back involved.

 

SuChin Pak  41:42

It’s so retro, so retro.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  41:45

Okay, let’s talk about some some books. You brought us your book, but let’s talk about Roxane Gay’s book Opinions.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  41:52

Yes, I started reading Roxanne’s book Opinions, and I’ve been digging on the idea of opinions. And I was like, wow, I really want you know, what is the power of opinion. So I got her books, I was like, first of all, I just I love her mind. I started reading her essays, it really kind of, you know, the idea of opinions, it just, it’s just helps to stir my my thought it helped us they’re not that my opinion means anything, but I do like to be guided in different ways to think about things. Right, but that was like, that’s one of the things that I loved about her book is that she just opened my mind to thinking about things in a different way.

 

SuChin Pak  42:41

I love it, you know, in reading the little excerpt about the book, she talks about big issues, but she also talks about personalized matters, like, can I tell my coworker her perfume makes me sneeze? Yeah, it acceptable to schedule a daily 8am meeting? No, it’s not, I’m going to tell you right now, it is not acceptable. I love things like this opinion is, that’s a that’s, you know, some words are like blades. You know, where you’re like, oh, yes not thought it’s not a point of view an opinion, yeah, like that’s, that’s very specific that word, right?

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  43:19

It is and how we use it. What I like about Roxanne and her opinion, because I was like, a lot of times opinions will be used as weapons, people will, their opinions, you know, and I didn’t feel that in her book, and it’s a very fine line.

 

SuChin Pak  43:38

Yeah.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  43:38

You know, of sharing your opinion without weaponizing it to, like, bring you down or do like to just, you know what I mean? And so.

 

SuChin Pak  43:47

Or to receive someone’s opinion, as someone, just someone’s opinion doesn’t have to be ours. It doesn’t have to be a whole I mean, shutdown of who you are. But I definitely am guilty of that when people share their opinions. And I’m like, oh, I don’t like it, shutting it down, goodbye I’m rolling up my suitcase, I’m taking my bags, and I’m out of here so it’s in this kind of climate that we live in to unpack opinions.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  44:19

Yeah,

 

SuChin Pak  44:20

Is really interesting.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  44:23

Personally, exactly, and opinion, facts, you know.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  44:29

No matter how strongly or let’s also talk about your dear friend who’s mentioned in worthy Chet Pajarito book, 52 weeks of inspirational quotes.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  44:45

Yeah, of heavy inspirational quotes. And this is one of my stocking stuffers because I’m so proud of him. So he has all of these really inspirational quotes, and then he has it where you can write your ideas or your thoughts, your opinions around the quote, but I was just, you know, from were talking about from where we came from.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  45:12

You have a storied history.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  45:15

Yeah, we have, we have quite a history together and now he’s, he wrote this book and now he’s, he’s starting on his second book.

 

SuChin Pak  45:22

I love it, I’m just going through some of it, you know, fill your cup in every way every day, just and then and then giving the space for people for readers to you know, like, it’s almost like a, like a prompt.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  45:36

Exactly.

 

SuChin Pak  45:36

Right.? I love it, these are great ideas for just even like the new year, you know, it’s like, it’s that time when we’re just reflecting on like, what? What happened? What did we do, right? What did we do wrong? I really love this time of year for me feels like a cleansing that everyone is doing to collect them some ways, like, yeah, it’s a collect. So it almost it’s, it’s almost, you know, in some ways, it can be more powerful, because it’s like, the whole world is sort of like taking a moment.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  46:08

Yeah, and I think books like that, too. Like, men, I feel like sometimes have a hard time like finding space of expression. So instead of saying, hey, you should journals, like oh, listen, you know, you’ve got this quote, as a prompt that you can write your thoughts around. You know what I mean? When I think about what I think about somebody like a Will he was such an intellectual. He’s such a he’s such a heady guys headed I mean, it’s like, oh, here’s something for you to like, wrap your beautiful.

 

SuChin Pak  46:39

And it’s just a sentence. Just one tiny sentence. You I you know, I know you’re busy, but we can read a sentence. And then what what does that do?

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  46:49

Just curious, yeah.

 

SuChin Pak  46:52

Yeah, just curious and then we later and then if again, yeah, no one no big deal.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  46:58

Dude, thank you so much for for having a moment. And we really appreciate you coming through. I know you’re busy.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith  47:05

Now, thank you guys. This was a joy, this was a real joy. Thank you so much for having me, honestly.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  47:14

Su I am simply blown away.

 

SuChin Pak  47:17

Body chills, whole whole body chills right down to my Christmas socks, toasts.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  47:21

That was an incredible episode.

 

SuChin Pak  47:24

I mean, that’s complete Ku, I really am.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  47:28

When she said she shopped at Target and CVS I leapt out of my body.

 

SuChin Pak  47:34

I’m hoping that we’re going to cut the part out where I cut her off to tell her about my CVS coupon, no diction?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  47:41

Nope.

 

SuChin Pak  47:42

I’m hoping that didn’t make it because that’s going to relive at 3am for a minute.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  47:47

But I just want you to know, when you pass, I will make sure that clip is in your in memoriam.

 

SuChin Pak  47:55

And you will get up and tell everyone the time SuChin Pak cut Jada Pinkett Smith off to tell her about her CVS coupon CVS coupon. Go ahead and roll the clip.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  48:05

Here we go, here it is […]

 

SuChin Pak  48:08

I mean, that was it, that was it. That’s it, you guys put the cherry on top of the cake, that is my life and career. That’s it for our Add To Cart really, what else is there to say? Oh, I know, guys, we have a newsletter. I know so many of you already know this, I know that you’re signed up but for those that haven’t signed up, we get into more of this all the time in our newsletter. So sign up the link is in our bio. It’s super easy, it’s free.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  48:37

It’s entertaining.

 

SuChin Pak  48:38

And it’s fine, it’s entertaining. It’s a letter every newsletter is just a love letter from us to you and then of course links to buy stocks right and that’s what Add To Cart is we have all the things that we talked about on today’s show as always on our Instagram at Add to Cart pod.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  48:58

And thank you to our producers who are kicking ass and taking names.

 

SuChin Pak  49:03

I mean taking names Hollywood A plus names by the way, yeah, I mean, we just receive receive their hard work and pass it off as ours because we’re aunties.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  49:16

Okay.

 

SuChin Pak  49:17

Bye.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  49:24

There’s more ADD TO CART with Lemonada Premium. Subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content like where we tell you about the last item we bought or returned and why. Subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Add To Cart is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producers are Kegan Zema and Tiffany Bouy. Brian Castillo is our engineer. Theme music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers or Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer, and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen at free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.