Building the Perfect Ice Cream Sundae (with Maria Bamford)

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Clog lover, author, and princess of the Midwest Maria Bamford has landed! Put simply, she is a freaking icon, from viral tik tok-worthy character work in her seminal Maria Bamford Show, to her amazing standup career, Maria has always been comedian’s favorite comedian. Her new book Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult is an incredible memoir that fully translates her unique voice from the stages to the pages. We discuss the very specific details of her book deal, bag salads and Jon Hamm (who, according to Maria, is one of the larger celebrities). Also, I receive alarming and contradicting reports that a full ice cream sundae is NOT just a lil’ snack.

Apple Books has teamed up with Lemonada Media for an audiobook club. The September pick is Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult by actor and comedian Maria Bamford. Get your copy today at http://apple.co/lemonadabooks.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Maria Bamford, Elyse Myers

Elyse Myers  00:06

Okay, actually, can you just pretend that you’re listening to a fully complete theme song here? I got really in my head. And I tried to make it perfect. And I couldn’t. So this is going to be the theme song right here. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Funny Cuz It’s True. I’m Elyse Myers. Today we have klog lover, author and princess of the Midwest Maria Bamford. Maria is an absolute icon who created viral Tiktok where the character work in her show the Maria Bamford show. She’s also had an amazing stand up career and has often been referred to as the comedian’s favorite comedian, her new book. Sure all join your cult is an incredible memoir that fully translates her unique voice from the stages to the pages. We discussed the very specific details of her book deal, bag salads, and Jon Hamm. And also Maria helped me settle a debate between me and my producers as to whether a full ice cream sundae is a meal or a snack. So two things that are funny because they’re true. Number one, at the time of this recording, I am 36 weeks pregnant, so I will be going on maternity leave soon, my friends. And number two, it’s not often that you encounter somebody like Maria Bamford who is so radically honest, and I just found that really, really refreshing in this interview. So just listen for that. It’s really fun. Alright, let’s get started. Maria Bamford icon.

Maria Bamford  02:59

Hi, thank you. You’re the icon and you have a podcast for God’s sakes.

Elyse Myers  03:05

I don’t have the heart to tell her that pretty much everyone has a podcast nowadays. So I’m just gonna take this compliment and Ron, you know what, I’m just I’m just trying to get to your level. At some point in my career. I heard a really funny facts about you. And I wanted to ask, I heard that you love clogs? Is this true? How did we find this love for clogs? What is this?

Maria Bamford  03:25

Well, I’d like a high heeled shoe. But then I don’t have the gymnastic ability to maintain that. Yeah, they’re just they’re real nice. They feel hand hewn. There’s wood. They’re made of wood.

Elyse Myers  03:39

Right. When I heard that you loved him. I went through. And I just like went my my producers were sending me links to them. Because I was like, they’re so cute. I need a million pairs of them.

Maria Bamford  03:48

Well, yeah, that’s the other thing is you can order them online in whatever color.

Elyse Myers  03:54

What color are you currently loving?

Maria Bamford  03:56

I have a pair of patent leather red ones that I wear on stage.

Elyse Myers  04:02

Alright, I’m not gonna lie to you. I had no idea that […] was stage. And I spent like the next three minutes trying to figure out what fancy event this was. Well, I really resonate with what you did in the Maria Bamford show, because you were doing short form content like 10 years before it’s time. How did you come up with that?

Maria Bamford  04:18

Because well, nobody wanted to hire me. Oh, wow. So yeah.

Elyse Myers  04:23

Honestly, great.

Maria Bamford  04:25

It was no one was interested. And so I was I was very interested in hiring me. Yeah. So I gave myself all the parts in the show. And I did a lot of one person shows I like live performance. And so I did a lot of that and did like a one person show playing all the characters in my family because like, I couldn’t seem to get on a sitcom. And so I made my own version of sitcom and love that. Yeah, so then, but you’re Yes, you are the future madame, you are the now.

Elyse Myers  05:02

I want to go back because I wanted to talk to you about the different characters you do, because I feel really like most comfortable playing every part. Because that’s what I’m used to. And so when I was watching kind of the intros you would do to your show, and then like, you go back and forth with a different angles. That’s what I do. And so it was like, I feel really comfortable doing that. But it’s so funny because most people don’t realize when you’re making something like that, it really is just you in a room talking to nobody, like adjacent to the camera. And I wondered if, when you were creating those characters and talking to yourself, basically for the filming of this, like, Were you making a material that later you would use in your stand up? Or what did you keep those pretty separate?

Maria Bamford  05:45

I think it went the opposite way for me. I didn’t do a I did on stage and then did it in videos. Got it. But it seems like it had the same result. Yeah. But there’s something about Yeah, live performance. And I don’t almost because I’ve done it since I was like three I was did stage stuff. So I feel I do like the feeling of of hearing laughs in person.

Elyse Myers  06:12

Have you always known you wanted to do stand up? Or did you want to perform in other ways too?

Maria Bamford  06:17

I just liked being on stage. And I liked the tension. And then I liked making people laugh. I definitely have always enjoyed that from a young age. And so I didn’t really know that was a job option. Yeah, um, and hopefully that’s changed for people think now it’s more of a young people go, Oh, yes, I can be my own gatekeeper. And you don’t let myself make stuff. So it sounds like me, you have five employees on this podcast. I think you’re doing all right.

Elyse Myers  06:53

It takes a team I can do the the interviewing part that that I can do.

Maria Bamford  06:59

That’s hard. I only interviewed people a few times. And it was I found like, anxiety provoking.

Elyse Myers  07:06

Oh, no, I definitely feel anxious. I feel very anxious right now. So it’s all good. But I try and just figure out how to do it at the same time. I for a lot of my life, I felt it. My anxiety kept me back from a lot of things. And I realized you can be both anxious and doing it at the same time. And they kind of can happen, you know, they can work together. And so I’m working on it. It’s not perfect all the time. There’s a lot of things I’ve failed on and, and I look back and regret and I’m trying to kind of like read redo those experiences. But man, I’m just so tired of saying no to things because I’m too nervous to do it. I’m so so tired of doing that. And so stand up honestly, is one thing that I I know I will need to say yes to at some point. Whether whether I feel ready or not. But I just even if it’s a couple times I want to just conquer it. So I can say I did it.

Maria Bamford  07:57

Oh my god. And it’s so available. Um, there’s an open mic every two blocks. And there’s zoom open mics with you know, you can be very anonymous. You don’t have to say who you are, you know, can put in a weird name or put yourself as a cartoon character.

Elyse Myers  08:16

This is an introvert dream. Really interesting. I did not know that existed.

Maria Bamford  08:21

Yeah, yeah. The hoop is much larger than you think to jump through.

Elyse Myers  08:27

I love that. I heard that you were just workshopping. And this might be wrong, but I heard you were workshopping new material for like an app an hour set at 9AM somewhere.

Maria Bamford  08:37

8AM. In my neighborhood. I am a fan of making it as easy as possible. If I can be semi conscious. It can be less than a mile from my house. That would be ideal. And so it came to pass.

Elyse Myers  08:53

Have you only done it once or multiple times?

Maria Bamford  08:55

Oh, bunch of times. And I live in Los Angeles with there’s always people available to watch you be in process about something. Where are you in Alaska or not? Nebraska, Nebraska, Omaha? I grew up in the Midwest. So it was like, I don’t know, at least Minnesota. I was not trained to speak publicly. It was very much like keep it quiet over there. And yeah.

Elyse Myers  09:20

If that was the way that you were brought up, how did you train yourself to be such a public performer?

Maria Bamford  09:27

Well, because I think there’s a bit of light autism as well as Yeah, I also have an anger management problem. It’s all passive aggressive, though, where I will get mad about stuff and then instead of addressing the person face to face, I will talk about it on stage, which is.

Elyse Myers  09:53

Kind of like theraphy, kind of working it out.

Maria Bamford  09:56

Yeah. Well, is it or not? Or just not ideal. I think if you talk to my loved ones they’d say, I wish he had told me, you know, putting it on that album.

Elyse Myers  10:08

You have stories like that where you made a joke and they came to you were like, No, really?

Maria Bamford  10:13

Yes, of course. Yes. Like, I feel like how does said the line is where is my experience and I get to talk about something from my perspective and then what is hurtful and going to destroy your relationship? Anyways, I, I guess this is a sad way of just saying I go, I just know that like, I gave my sister this this book to read that I have coming out and, and she was like, okay.

Elyse Myers  10:44

And that’s your new book. […] right?

Maria Bamford  10:52

We talk every day. So I’m sure she would tell me something. But maybe not. Maybe not. We both come from the same. Not talking about it. Point of View from the Midwest, so, so maybe not.

Elyse Myers  11:09

All right, we have to take a quick break. But when we come back, Maria tells us about her relationship to fame. It’s interesting that you’ve used comedy and writing your sets as a form of talking things through that you don’t feel comfortable talking through with people in real time. Yes, and I would imagine that that is probably much more of a common experience than you would think because I I’ve always felt that way about music, less about the comedy, but more about the processing, like I’ve said a little bit before, but I use music and writing music as a way of processing emotion. And then I use comedy once it’s processed. And it’s funny, as a way of like telling the story to other people. And, and a lot of my music has been me telling the story back to myself the way I remembered it and processing that. And so it sounds like that’s what you do with your comedy. And so I feel like many creative outlets do that.

Maria Bamford  14:23

But yeah, that’s the kind of I love stuff where it comes from an autobiographical place. And it’s clear that it comes from an autobiographical place like yeah, much more a nonfiction person than I am. Fiction. I love to hear what really happened, even if it’s just according to one person like, and I do have a prejudice that I think if somebody talks about something on stage, I think that’s real. Like there’s some part of that that’s real.

Elyse Myers  14:56

Yeah, totally. There’s probably always truth and a joke even If it’s been embellished for, you know, entertainment factor, there’s got to be truth in some of it, or else you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying it.

Maria Bamford  15:07

Yeah. And that sometimes people are trying to tell us something.

Elyse Myers  15:12

Did you want to write stories to get people to know you? Like, what was the inspiration to do that?

Maria Bamford  15:16

The inspiration for the book was a book deal of $150,000.

Elyse Myers  15:20

Ae we allowed to say that? Is that okay?

Maria Bamford  15:29

Will give you $44,000 If you start writing it, and I did that, and I get, but I gave it, I gave the money to an editor, because I was so scared. I’ve never written a book. So I give money to this outside editor to help me to get me to write the book, sort of a witness. Yeah. Audience member and so did that. And then then you get 44 or more $1,000? Once you hand it in to the book, and they say, oh, yeah, it’s a book, but you won’t get it. You won’t will not get it unless they think it’s a book. That’s what the paperwork says. Yeah. And have you written a book.

Elyse Myers  16:09

I’m currently in the process of writing one right now. I just got it. Okay. We’re like signing contracts. And I’m, I’m about to head into maternity leave. So I won’t have the manuscript in before then, which I was hoping to. But it was a very lofty goal that I shouldn’t have promised anyways. So I’ll come back and get it in. And we’ll start the process of them telling me if it’s a book or not?

Maria Bamford  16:31

But yeah, I just, I love books. So I was like, Well, I would like to try to write one that sounds like a wonderful opportunity. And if it doesn’t work out, I will then have paid $50,000, to someone to learn that I didn’t want to write a book.

Elyse Myers  16:48

Love it. So in your book, you talk about your relationship to fame, and kind of how you got to this place that you wanted to get to. But then once you got there, it didn’t feel the way that you thought it would feel. Can you tell me a little bit about that?

Maria Bamford  16:59

For sure. Like, I had a commercial campaign that was popular. And then people started recognizing me as the character from the commercial. Interesting. And I just felt awful. And and people started coming to shows to see this one character, what was the character? It was like a crazy Christmas characters from Target many years ago. And the problem is, my act was very different from this particular character. It was just I talk about depression, and we’re being a weirdo. And so I was setting myself up for these really rough shows. Interesting. Yeah. That said, I was also paid very well to experience that. Yeah. Also part of doing commercial stuff, you can’t talk about the commercial, you can’t have any critique of it, once you have agreed to sign on for something. Whether that’s, I’m sure you have sponsors, where it’s like, once somebody sponsored something, then you can’t speak publicly in any way that is critical. So that I didn’t realize, oh, that’s the one thing I like doing. Snap about is I get to see, like, get to see whatever I want.

Elyse Myers  18:14

Did you make a conscious decision early in your life? Or is it your personality to be transparent about the like, the money that you make in your career, and also just the career itself? Because I feel like that is a piece you just do not hear in comedy you do not hear? Because people will feel like it will affect their career, you know, is this something you made?

Maria Bamford  18:35

I’m old, you know, I’m 52. Like, I really have nothing to lose. At this point. I don’t, I’ve had all my dreams come true. Like, I’m fully medicated. Like, I don’t. I’ve got tons of support and love. And it’s okay. You know, if if somebody said, Well, we aren’t hired you. Because, you know, you told people what you made on this gig. Like, I just, it’s okay, I know, I can retire at the age of 63. And go, I’m very privileged. So I’m not. I’m not risking a lot.

Elyse Myers  19:17

Sure. What advice would you give to a comedian that would be risking a lot? And how transparent they can and should be?

Maria Bamford  19:26

I think just asking yourself, well, I mean, this is just from any kindness tradition is, is how would I want to be treated in comedy, and this is one business, but this is across the board on I would say the majority of businesses is the amount that you’re paid, hasn’t changed a lot. At least, people are still paid a bleep of 50 bucks to show for opening or middling on the road, which is what I was paid 30 years ago. So I think just ask yourself, just have some curiosity. Think about what somebody’s earning. Yeah. And ask them if you’re worried about them. I know I’ve fucked up. And I’ve had employees need to ask me for a raise. And you know, because I was just like, I didn’t know. And then I go, Oh, my God. Yes, of course, of course. And I think that helps me. Also not build resentments over time. Yeah. And also have some, from what I’ve read about open book accounting, which is a theory of, if you let everybody know what everybody’s earning, then there’s less mystery about it. Other people can negotiate. And also, you know, what makes the business profitable. So I try to let everybody who is interested, who works for me know what I’m earning, you know, and what, what all the expenses of the business are, whether or not they think those are good or not, and I’m definitely going out to eat a lot. Going on to leave Elyse old kitchen.

Elyse Myers  20:59

Where are we eating a lot? Where do we like to go?

Maria Bamford  21:02

Have you ever heard of the $6 Nitro Cold Brew, you get a can of one of the strongest copies you will ever get. And it is about $6 here in Los Angeles.

Elyse Myers  21:14

The way that she worded this like the $6 Nitro Cold Brew, I was for sure expecting it to be like a specific brand, but it wasn’t it was just Nitro Cold Brew in general, which I don’t know why would that just makes me laugh. Is it a brand, there’s a brand?

Maria Bamford  21:27

Oh, there’s all sorts of brands there’s Stumptown. There’s, I mean, I’m sure they all have Monstress backstories. But yeah.

Elyse Myers  21:40

Okay, time for one more break. When we come back. Maria tells us about the personality based recipes that she writes in her book. I really wanted to go back to your book because I saw you do recipes right for your family. And I wanted to know where the inspiration for that came. Because I think it’s so cool.

Maria Bamford  24:13

Oh, um, yeah, I just I’m not a cook. I don’t like cooking. So I was just trying to think of Yeah, things that I would make for them if I if I had the, you know, that we’re in the emotional state of that family member. Because my family we do has liked food and my parents have passed now so I tried to eat in their honor.

Elyse Myers  24:41

I look so are the recipes are the food or they’re like personality recipes?

Maria Bamford  24:47

They’re personality based for recipes. So they’re like, if you’re going to make something for my mom, it’s all based in confidence. So whatever you have gotten it better To be the best, and it’s the best of everything and the most choice ingredients. And there’s a story behind every cheese. And which is how my mother was my mom didn’t necessarily get the best, but she always, she always sold it as it being the best thing.

Elyse Myers  25:19

That’s like, really do you have Did you see somebody do that when you were younger? And you’re like, I want to do that? Or was did that just come from? You making that up one day?

Maria Bamford  25:30

I think it’s only with her death that I realized, oh my God, my mom, just she put a spin on everything that it was the most tremendous. She would always say things like ever since I was a little girl. I’ve wanted to go to St. Louis in the spring and see what nobody wants to go to St. Louis.

Elyse Myers  25:54

I don’t even know enough about St. Louis to know you shouldn’t want to go there in the spring. So I’m like totally.

Maria Bamford  26:00

Well, the traffic is terrible. But no, yeah, my mom she would just have just be delighted and excited about everything. And I love that about her and I hope that I in a slow bleed just become her. Although I have a feeling I’m a little too grumpy.

Elyse Myers  26:19

Have you ever written a recipe for yourself?

Maria Bamford  26:23

Oh, yeah, well, a recipe for myself is the restaurant that I would open up which would be Caesar salads. And ice cream. Hot fudge sundaes. So be Caesar creamers. And yeah, I love the Caesar salad. But I love a Caesar salad. There’s one Caesar salad once that had a soft boiled egg in it. And it was the best thing I think I’ve ever eaten. Maybe I was just hungry. And then hot fudge sundaes. I will eat in any time of day or year and they’re still delicious.

Elyse Myers  27:01

So I have a question because me and my production team actually got into a small conversation about whether a hot fudge sundae is a meal or a snack.

Maria Bamford  27:11

That’s definitely a meal. No, because you got the nut, I believe, do you. You got that? You got the you got the cherry. That’s fiber. But are you, what size are we talking?

Elyse Myers  27:25

Like most like, I guess you’re right, the size. The size makes the difference? But I was thinking like you know the little cups. It’s like a cup with like a scoop of ice cream and that would be like a snack for me.

Maria Bamford  27:36

That’s not even a sundae. Hot fudge sundae is the standard. Is it Peanut Buster parfait. Hot Fudge, penis ice cream, whipped cream. Cherry topper. You go for the eye. It takes the fight right out of them. Yeah, it’s got to be large.

Elyse Myers  27:59

I just know half of my team is cheering wildly and the other half is very disappointed in this answer. Okay, Caesar creamers. Sounds like it should be a real thing.

Maria Bamford  28:09

Yeah, I I’ve seen restaurant reality shows, and I don’t have it in me. So if anybody wants to take the lead on that.

Elyse Myers  28:18

That’s fair. I don’t know. I could see you doing it. Retired Cesar Kramer’s just like just going for it?

Maria Bamford  28:27

No. My retirement job is used bookstore. Okay. used bookstore. My friends already have one. They’ve hired me on a volunteer basis in the past. And I just feel like that’s where I could be a good use. I just trained to be a peer specialist. With mental health counselor, what’s that? It’s something in most states in the US you can train to be a peer advocate, which is someone with live mental health or addiction experiences, and is now used as sort of like a helpful person that either goes out on emergency psychiatric calls, it’s sort of used instead of 911. And it pays about 18 to $25 an hour. And I’ve trained to be one and I’m taking my exam on Wednesday.

Elyse Myers  29:15

And yeah, so you would do that and a used bookstore.

Maria Bamford  29:19

Yes. Well, and I think I would need the training to open a use bookstore.

Elyse Myers  29:22

That’s wild. We have like five little bonus questions at the end. We like to ask people is it okay, if I asked you those? Sure. Okay, so these five questions are a part of our premium content. And I usually ask every guest these five questions and we upload them as separate little episodes on Apple premium. But we wanted to include this for Maria since it’s kind of one of our last episodes before I go on maternity leave, so enjoy. Okay, number one is most embarrassing or funniest encounter you’ve ever had with a famous person.

Maria Bamford  29:52

Oh, once I told Jon Hamm because I didn’t know who he was. I saw him at a play reading and I If I told him you’re really good, no, you’re really good. You’re very good actor. And he’s like, I know. And I’m like, seriously?

Elyse Myers  30:11

You should do this for a living. Did you just not know who he was?

Maria Bamford  30:18

I just didn’t know. Who he was, sorry.

Elyse Myers  30:21

Did someone like How How did that resolve? Did he tell you who he was?

Maria Bamford  30:25

No, he was just very gracious. He’s just like, thank you. He was very patient and kind.

Elyse Myers  30:32

And did someone tell you that’s Jon Hamm?

Maria Bamford  30:35

Ah, I think I realized it later. Yeah. After afterwards. Yeah.

Elyse Myers  30:39

I love that so much so much. That is such that is a very me thing to do. I love that. Yeah. Number two, what was your first job?

Maria Bamford  30:50

I said babysitter, which was terrifying. And then I did was a waitress, waitressing at a Spanish restaurant.

Elyse Myers  31:02

Did you like doing that?

Maria Bamford  31:03

16. I was terrible at it. I found it so frightening. But I did it for a long time. I did it waitressing for about six years through college and stuff. And I never got better at it. Perfect. It’s just yeah, you’re like

Elyse Myers  31:21

I am here for one reason and one reason only it’s to pay my bills. And that’s gotta be enough.

Maria Bamford  31:26

And I did not succeed in doing that either.

Elyse Myers  31:30

Just to fail all around. I love that. Yeah. Number three. What is your go to meal right now?

Maria Bamford  31:37

Meal? I like salad in a bag with salad bag. Yeah. And then I’ll get some beans from a can with some sliced cheese or melt those and then I’ll make myself a taco sow.

Elyse Myers  31:55

Okay, so it’s decided I am never going to say the whole word salad ever again. I’m just saying Sal for the rest of my life.

Maria Bamford  32:02

And melt those in then put it into the salad sort of the slurry with with 1000 Island dressing 1000 I like if you’re making a face.

Elyse Myers  32:13

No, I’m picturing it. I’m pregnant. But what I was thinking was, I love a good bag salad. And then I thought you were gonna say you make like a bean dip. And I was like, okay, she’s making a dip and a salad. And I was trying to predict where you’re going and I did not.

Maria Bamford  32:27

know it’s Well, I mean, it could be. It could be like a veggie bean cup. But it’s no, it’s a bowl of melted cheese and bean with lettuce in it.

Elyse Myers  32:40

I also liked that you you explained that the bean came from a can and the cheese came from a bag. I just liked that you were that descriptive with it that then that was really my favorite part. Good. Number four. What was the last thing that you Googled? Do you remember?

Maria Bamford  32:58

Oh, both languages. And Brooklyn.

Elyse Myers  33:03

My The last thing I Googled was photos of sidewalks. Because I was making a video and needed to do a green screen in front of a sidewalk.

Maria Bamford  33:12

face. Oh, I thought you were maybe trying to remember what sidewalks look like because you’re doing those things. You know, when your security question they have to identify everything.

Elyse Myers  33:22

Yes, you know what? You get very philosophical when you start to answer those because you’re like, What is a street light? What? What constitutes a street light? Is it the corner? Is that a street light? Is that the edge? Yeah. And I’ve got I apparently don’t know my objects as well as I thought I did. And then the last thing is, what is something that you know more about than you should? Or more than other people?

Maria Bamford  33:46

I think I know a lot about 12 Step programs. I don’t know. I don’t follow them very well. I just know, I can get in there deep with you. On whatever 12 STEP program you’re interested in hearing about.

Elyse Myers  34:04

I feel like that is a very helpful thing to know more about because mine are always useless. It’s like I’m I’m holding space in my brain for this thing that does not matter. But yours is actually very helpful. Okay, Maria, it has been so good to meet you. This has been such an honor to get to talk to you today.

Maria Bamford  34:22

Yes. Lovely to meet you. And thank you for having me on your podcast. I didn’t know who Jon Hamm was. And so that’s the level of disconnection from the world I met. I apologize.

Elyse Myers  34:33

Apologize. I wouldn’t know who Jon Hamm was if I saw him in the face if i i know a name, but I do not connect names and faces ever. And so if I saw the most famous person in the world in front of me, I would convince myself that that’s not them. I just my brain doesn’t understand it at all.

Maria Bamford  34:49

Usually they’re very tiny. They’re very tiny people. Yeah, Jon Hamm was large, but it didn’t affect my.

Elyse Myers  34:58

Well Maria, thank you so much.

Elyse Myers  35:00

Thank you Elyse, thank you.

Maria Bamford  35:03

Okay, that’s it for our episode. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of funny because it’s true. Stay tuned after this interview to hear an audio clip from Maria’s book, Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult. And if you like this show, give us a rating and review on Apple. It helps other people find us, bye

Maria Bamford  35:24

Introduction. Sure I’ll join your cult. I love being asked to join so much self that I will say yes to an invitation without knowing exactly what I’ve agreed to. When I was in my late 20s, a fellow production secretary at Nickelodeon Animation Studio, whom I will call Tina told me about an event she was attending at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel and asked me to accompany her of cars, Tina, Tina, but going through some difficulties that involve muffled weeping in the bathroom. I wanted to support and hope there might be food. There was not. Tina seemed very excited about this whole evening. And when I met her in the 500 seat conference room packed to the gills, it felt like a great way to spend it Tuesday night. A few different speakers got up and talked about how they had once been pathetic. And now thanks to heart bouncers, they were vigorous and empowered. I applauded and Houpt good for them. After the speechifying we were encouraged to stand up and share openly about our personal sorrows. Why we’re all there that night, several people stood verklempt, detailing varying degrees of failure and tragedy in life. As the event was taking place in LA, there was no shortage of people available for dramatic public speaking off the cuff. I thought great. I mean, a little irresponsible, because there didn’t seem to be any therapeutic professionals available. What the hell, everybody seemed hyped and happy. Did I stand up and freestyle pros? No, not for lack of desire. But I’d already been getting all my monologuing out at open mics and 12 Step support groups. And these sad sack recruits seemed like they had never told anyone anything personal. That to them. Talking to a big group about private issues was a revelatory breakthrough. I thought I’d be generous and give my time back to the room.

CREDITS  37:33

Thanks so much for listening to this excerpt from Maria Bamford’s book. Sure, I’ll join your cult. If you’re interested in reading the whole book, head to our show notes for more information. Thanks for listening to the episode. There’s more Funny Cuz It’s True with Lemonada Premium. Get access to all of Lemonada’s Premium content, including my five questions with Fortune Feimster, which came out last Friday. Subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Funny Cuz It’s True is a Lemonada Media and Powderkeg production. The show is produced by Claire Jones, Zoe Dennis and […], our associate producer is Tiffany Buoy. Rachel Neil is our senior director of new content and our VP of weekly production is Steve Nelson. Executive Producers are Stephanie Wittels Wachs, Jessica Cordova Kramer, Paul Feig, Laura Fisher, […] and me Elyse Myers. The show is mixed by Johnny Evans, additional help from Noah Smith and Ivan Kuraev. Our theme song music was written by me and scored by Xander Singh. Follow Funny Cuz It’s True wherever you get your podcast or listed ad free on Amazon music with your prime membership.

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