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Sarah’s losing her hearing and it’s a bummer. Plus, she unpacks a traumatic deflowering story, suggests support to a man caring for his ailing grandma alone, and recounts her favorite winter memories growing up in New Hampshire.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

System, Amy, Taylor, Benji, Marie, Samia, Sarah Silverman, Geneva, Josh, Lou, Emma, Nolan, Jogar

Sarah Silverman  00:14

Hi, everybody, it’s your old pal Sarah you know, I went to the Golden Globes. And that was fun, I’ve never been before I there, I saw a lot of people I knew there that have friends. There were like a million parties after and I, I thought maybe I’d go to one or two, but I just went straight home. I just all I wanted to do is be home. Because I had, you know, I had to, like prepare for the podcast, and I had stuff to do And I’m a huge sleep poor. It’s just become more important to me than other things. And also, I realize and I hate fucking saying this, but I really, I, I can’t hear anymore. I cannot hear, And it’s making me antisocial. That at least to a degree, you know, I mean, like, I’ll have people over or I’ll, you know, hang out with a handful of people. But the idea of being in a big loud party, even at the globes, I couldn’t hear anything. And I just became my I’ve really become my Nana, where it’s like, someone says something, and I go what? And then they repeat it and I go, I’m sorry, what? And then they repeat it again. And I just pretend I heard and I go ah, yeah. Which is probably like, maybe not the response to half the things I’m responding to, but I just don’t know what else to do. It’s it fucking sucks, and maybe I should have started with this, but I’m supposed to have hearing aids. And I got fitted for them and I just fucking don’t want to do it. I you know, I got fitted for them. And they I could hear, I could totally hear. And it was kind of revolutionary. I mean, I could hear my hair brushing against it. But I guess you adjust it and do all that and I hadn’t even I didn’t get to that point because I said to the doctor like I’m gonna wait a year I’m gonna wait another year, I’d already waited a year. I’m gonna wait another year. I just because I realized this is forever. This is until I die. I’m gonna have hearing aids. And it fucking It freaks me out. It really bummed me out. I mean, my parents got hearing aids like five years ago, and they’re like, late 70s. I’m too young for this shit. I mean, I have a nephew who’s Daphne as cochlear implants. But that’s different. You know, you don’t go like Oh my God, he’s old he’s like, 21. But I went to the doctor, because I heard that hearing loss can lead to dementia. And she explained to me, yes, that’s true. But it’s not some physical chemical thing where what’s happening that’s making you not be able to hear is something that affects your brain and gives you dementia, it’s that people isolate. They stopped socializing, because it’s just too frustrating to not hear it isn’t hearing loss equals dementia, but untreated hearing loss tends to make people isolate and that is what can lead to dementia. So it made me sad, and I think what would I give advice if I was calling in saying I need hearing aids, but I don’t want to do it and we’ll you know, it’s just like, you have to live life you have to participate in life to have a good rich life. I have people that love me that are not gonna stop loving me because I have hearing aids, but there is a stigma to it. I’m not gonna lie, and I’m having a hard time with it emotionally. So that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

 

Amy  03:57

Hey, Sarah.

 

Sarah Silverman  03:58

Yes Amy.

 

Amy  04:00

This is quality of your life. And I think because I’m with you a lot, and I know what your plight is. And I think you will, it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever done.

 

Sarah Silverman  04:14

Yeah, it will be the best thing I’ve ever done. Definitely for you and for worry, because I drive you both crazy with not being able to hear and everything I watch has to have subtitles.

 

Amy  04:24

Yeah, but that’s the other thing. What if you could watch from across the room? What if you didn’t have to do that? Like, you’re now spending time reading screens instead of like multitasking? The other thing I’ll say is, you know, you got law, a lot of life ahead of you. And the medical field is making leaps and bounds.

 

Sarah Silverman  04:46

That’s true.

 

Amy  04:47

And it’s like who knows maybe in 10 years hearing loss or hearing aids will be so tiny or they can implant it you’ll never know it and I’m surely Elon Musk has something up his sleeve.

 

Sarah Silverman  05:00

I can’t believe you’re putting on Elon Musk he’s gonna save my hearing.

 

Amy  05:03

Well because he has that brain chip that they’re they’ve talked been talking about. That’s why I mentioned him. He’s the one who has the the amount of money to do the research on it, but I’m just saying like, you never know what’s gonna happen in a few years. Some young kid in medical school could have been like, I found I cured. Hearing loss, it’s this, or you need to just eat more seaweed I mean, I’m making that up.

 

Sarah Silverman  05:26

So you have your first eat more seaweed?

 

Amy  05:29

It’s always in the ocean the cures.

 

Sarah Silverman  05:32

All right, thank you. I needed that pep talk. Let’s take some voicemails.

 

System  05:39

You left me a message. Now I’m playing it for the world.

 

Marie  05:53

Hi, Sarah, it’s Marie. I wanted to first off thank you for existing, that’s weird to say. It’s also weird to say you’ve been like this cozy person for me like the past week. I’ve spent Thanksgiving alone my birthday Christmas, New Year’s, which is totally fine and pre planned.

 

Sarah Silverman  06:22

Oh good. Yeah,

 

Marie  06:24

I have no problem with that but I’ve just been a little low key and like just shedding all this guilt and shame off of me. I remember like my first glimpse of you was in Crank Yankers and I was like 5, 6, 7 fast forward to now I’m like oh, I actually haven’t heard her just you know to speak and all this stuff so I’ve just been listening and I’m quite enamored but my question is, what is your favorite winter memory from New Hampshire?

 

Sarah Silverman  07:13

Tthat one a totally different way. I will tell you my favorite winter memories from New Hampshire but um you know I kind of hear you not just your words but like your vibe like you go oh, I was alone for my birthday Thanksgiving but but it was by design. I’ve done that too. And I love being alone. I love not going out on New Year’s Eve. I love all that stuff. And obviously I have a partner now but I when I haven’t I’ve also loved that stuff and I so I hear you but I also know that for me anyway there’s a balance like I love being alone. But I can slip into doing it too much in a row and starting to a little bit spiral down and I go I think it’s time to go out into the world because I’m feeling that feeling of being too afraid to go out into the world and that’s always when I’m like yeah, I should see others even if it’s strangers that at my grocery store you know because that I can get so deep into it that I do get a little reclusive or secluded or like where it at normal every day. errands start daunting me and then I go alright, it’s time to join the world a little bit. Okay, winter memories in New Hampshire I would just say eating snow is the first thing that comes to mind a little before acid rain was a thing or right around that time but I when I grew up it would snow heaps of snow and we would go out with a bowl and I can picture this yellow bowl my mom had and I just scoop up snow in a bowl and pour some maple syrup on it and eat it and is so good. Or sometimes like my mom maybe once this happen you can like boil maple syrup. And then when you drizzle it on the snow it hardens and turns into like a maple candy not the maple sugar candy that is the greatest taste of all time but like a chewy like pull your teeth out sugar daddy type maple candy, that ooh, I loved it. I mean, our wood stove that kept our house warm, you know living with my mom we had we didn’t have heat we had a woodstove. The corner of the living room was brick and the stove was on it and my stepdad would chop the wood for the winter and keep the stove full and it doesn’t sound real but that’s how we stay had warm in the winter and it was so warm. And I just have really happy memories of it. And if you sat in my stepdad John’s chair that was right next to the wood stove, you just like have those very deep, sleepy winter naps in there, you know with the heat like the little to hide on one side of you. And oh, sledding sledding is definitely one of my number one joys. I guess you can’t have more than one but it is one of my greatest joys so fucking sledding. There’s nothing like it. You feel like you’re, you’re nine years old. I mean, it there’s it’s so fun. And then like running up the hill all sweaty back up the hill. Like no matter how cold it is out, you get so hot. And it’s just I love it. And also a winter memory of New Hampshire is tapping trees for maple syrup, bringing it back to the maple syrup again. We would tap trees at school we did it there at McKelvey Middle School in New Hampshire. There’s like a big woods in the backyard. In the back of the school. You know, we lived in the woods like it was mostly woods. And we’d go in and they taught us how to tap trees and we tap trees and the syrup. The maple syrup would come out and we did it. There you go, that was like four solid winter general winter memories of New Hampshire. Alright, what else?

 

Nolan  11:37

Hi, Sarah, my name is Nolan and I’m calling from a little wide spot in the road, as my grandmother would say, and Arkansas. My mother was a real bad alcoholic and my grandma, the blessing woman that she is raised me. We are now the only remaining family members actually just moved back in the spring to help her and within a month she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. For the last week, she has been hospitalized and we came real close to losing her. Thankfully, she is doing slightly better and he’s in rehab. I’m not sure when she’ll get to come home, but I’m hoping soon. Her rehab is close to an hour away and I’ve been so comforted during that commute by listening to your podcast. I’ve always admire your outlook on life and your sense of humor. My grandmother is the funniest person I’ve ever met in my life. Personally, but I digress. But with maybe the being the only family member it has been super overwhelming and I feel like any help that I asked for I’m burdening people who are already busy with their own shit. How do you personally come to a place of acceptance in having to ask for help? And how do you remind yourself that you’re not a burden? Your podcast has been a lighthouse of comfort in a pretty dark storm. And I am eternally grateful. My grandmother is like I said she’s the most important person to me in the world. And I am terrified, didn’t navigate life without her. The only other thing I’d ask is if you could send us a thought, or I don’t know if you pray or not, but something like that our way every now and again. Thank you so much for your time.

 

Sarah Silverman  13:25

I’ll do that Nolan. I’m thinking on your right now. And it’s hard I have a hard time asking friends for help I get it. But if you’ve got those couple close friends, or even like not your closest friends, but friends that are helpers, who are who are caretakers, you know you can tell who they are in your life. I think it’s okay to ask them. If you really need some help another route. Let’s just take our trusty computers that are in our pockets and I don’t know where you are in Arkansas, but there are places that her insurance will take that do elder care that can maybe help you out. Um, I’m looking at longtermcare.org, Arkansas Medicaid long term care programs, benefits and eligibility requirements. Arkansas residents can receive long term care benefits through Arkansas Medicaid in a nursing home in their home, the home of a loved one or residential care facility license. So her Social Security I think right or Medicare should cover some elder care. And you can look up in your local websites of where you are in Arkansas. Google a bunch of good search words that will help you and and call people that do this. And say I’m lost, I need help I’m, I’m helping her on my own. And I’m wondering if she’s entitled to some additional care. Besides me, that could be very helpful. There’s a lot of bureaucracy and shit, and you’ll probably have to fill shit out and stuff. But that, but you could get actual help there as well. But of course, friends are also always wonderful. And I, you know, I think spending time with your grandma, spending time with someone else’s grandma, someone who loves grandma’s can be fun and educational, and like a real experience, you know, so you might have friends that that would help you out. And even if it’s recording on their phone, your visit with her or, you know, listen, you don’t want to always be recording stuff on your phone of the special times with your grandma, because you want actual real just being in the moment and being together. But if you can record stuff you’re going to cherish you’ll cherish it, ask her questions, ask her about her life, her childhood, her experience as a woman growing up when she grew up. There’s so much you don’t know about your grandma, probably. And you’re gonna love if she’s funny the way she says it, it’s just all gold. And you’re going to really love it, you’re going to cherish it, you’re going to understand her more and in turn and understand yourself more, you’ll be able to find the things about her that tickle you that you want to embody and continue on. And I will say it’s so bleak. And it’s you know, when a loved one is dying. But boy, there were days in those last days with my dad, that not only do I miss him, I miss the end with him, I miss those unbelievably intimate moments and times where I was able to really care for him. Take care of him. And you know, this won’t be forever. So as much of a burden as it is and you didn’t use that word at all in your call. But you know, I understand. Try to take in as much as you can, and you’ll be really happy when she’s gone that you did everything you could and you had some really good moments. My thoughts are with you they share are Nolan and your grandma who’s so funny.

 

Lou  18:00

Hi, Sarah my name is Lou. I’m 21 and I’m graduating college and a few months. I’ve been in a happy, beautiful relationship for just over a year. But at the start of it, we moved really quickly. And if I could give myself any advice, it would be to move slowly and really hold on to that feeling of being fulfilled on my own. I think I lost sight of myself in all of the new things a relationship brings into your life. And over the past nine months, I’ve really noticed that my self confidence has plummeted. I know at the end of the day the answer to really cultivating my individuality and confidence again, is to just do it, you know, to really spend time with myself and go to that thing alone and you know, engage in my routines and rituals, but I’m wondering what comes to mind for you. And if you have any unique tips for me, you seem like somebody who really values your individuality and your your things, thank you.

 

Sarah Silverman  19:51

I totally relate. Totally, I have lost myself in relationship I countless times really lost myself turned down work. Didn’t do stand up didn’t, there was a whole relationship I didn’t write a single song. And I was writing a lot of like, if comedy songs like, you know, but I was doing a lot of music, comedy. There is a whole relationship I didn’t write a single song, I didn’t have a song in my special at that year or whatever. Because every time I picked up the guitar, and sang, he hated it, can you imagine? So, I mean, I can’t imagine but um, so, you know, if you’re sharing a small space with someone, and you can’t fully be yourself, it’s a problem. And you’re right, it’s it, you got to go into the relationship with these ground rules. But, you know, with this one, I never thought I would live with a man again, I did once and I never did again, and I was in a lot of relationships, and they stayed at my place, or we stayed separate. I remember one boyfriend saying it’s not normal, that we always stay at your place. And you never stay at mine. And I said, it actually is normal. It’s just usually the other way around. But I lost myself so much in in an early relationship that, I it I was so atrophied at the end of that relationship. I didn’t even know what cell service I had. He, you know, I went from a boyfriend who didn’t take care of anything, like where I had to be the one who’s like, Did you pay the bill did you bump up, I did it to a man who took really took care of things. And it felt so nice until I had no self left. Um, so it’s a balance, of course, you have to make some compromises, but don’t make too many. It this isn’t about becoming one person, like, oh, to you know, he’s my missing piece. You need to be in a whole person. And he needs to be or she needs to be a whole person. And you can enjoy a life together as two whole individual people with two whole lives that you share. But it’s really hard, especially I think, for women. That may be a generalization. Of course it is, but you know what I’m talking about, it’s really easy to lose yourself in relationship. And part of it’s beautiful in the beginning, it’s beautiful. But it’s um, it can turn very problematic. And then what happens when the relationships over you’re like a shell of a person you don’t know what you like, and don’t like you don’t know your tastes you don’t you know, it’s so it’s just try to be mindful of your self and figure out how that can coincide with relationship in relationship. But it is something you have to be kind of vigilant about, not because the man is, you know, making you give up all these things. It’s because we’re so inclined to I’m not saying I had, you know, I had men in my life all kinds for in general, I have very good taste in men is great guys. And a lot of times it’s me doing that to me. So just really stay very aware to be vigilantly protective of your whole self. That’s all good luck, what else?

 

Jogar  24:00

Hi Sarrah, your friend Jogar.

 

Sarah Silverman  24:02

Jogar!

 

Jogar  24:03

For Christmas I got Bell’s Palsy,  because it’s like it was Christmas morning like we was at the hospital two in the morgue because I thought I was having a stroke but I got Bell’s Palsy. And it’s all this weird stuff that’s going on with my face like it’s not bad like you can you can’t tell just looking right at my face but like unless I look surprised or happy and but it’s interesting because like I got a deviated septum, and it cleared up my deviated septum like whatever the hell’s going out in my face. I can breathe out both nostrils and stuff, it’s really cool.

 

Sarah Silverman  24:42

That’s fascinating.

 

Jogar  24:44

What else what else Bobby? Bobby? What else was it? What? Like oh, I can’t whistle. I can’t whistle. I can’t fit my eyebrow I was like, I got a little movement and my eyes constantly watering. So that’s weird. But like it’s really I think I’m taking it really well because I’ve been joking about also have balls palsy because my testicle hangs lower anyway, just by calling update you on the news about your friend Jogar, good bye.

 

Sarah Silverman  25:26

Hi friend of pod Jogar, I’m so sorry that’s so scary, that must have been very scary. But you know, I’ve had friends that have had that I’ve had that Bell’s Palsy. And thank goodness, it’s temporary. You know, it’s the way you describe it. It sounds like bad Botox and it probably lasts not nearly as long. So that’s good. And I hope you found ways to keep your spirits up and put a smile on your face or half smile, I guess. Yeah, the good news is it’s temporary. And you know, I’ve had there are a couple of comics that had happened to and they you know, you have to write a joke or two about it. If you’re gonna do stand up well, it’s half your face is frozen up but yeah, thank God, it wasn’t a stroke and thank God, the God I don’t believe in that, uh, that it’s temporary and you’re gonna be okay. And you’re you’re getting through it and and making light of it and laughing and I hope you feel better soon. All right, what else?

 

Samia  26:33

Hi, Sarah this is Samia from San Jose, California, big fan. So as a fellow Jewish woman, I have a question. Especially right now, as we’re all wrestling with how much to display our Judaism and maybe how much to hide it. What was it like? Coming up as a comedian, being a woman and more importantly, a Jewish woman? How was that handled? How did fellow comedians treat you? I’m just curious, thanks, Sarah.

 

Sarah Silverman  27:05

I mean, when I started, it was like, still extremely sexist. I mean, just like, incredibly misogynistic environment. And I could go on and on and on, but it’s really grown and come a long way. As a Jewish comedian I mean, you know, they’re resilient Jewish comedians. So that wasn’t a weird thing. It was like, I had a couple of friends that change their last names. It would never occur to me to change my last name. Until recently, I’m like, huh, Sarah? Pomeroy? How does that sound? But I think it’s too late for me. You know, it’s funny, because for decades, getting interviewed, always they would ask, what’s it like being a woman in comedy? And the answer is always I don’t I don’t know. I have only ever been a woman in comedy. I don’t have anything to compare it to. So and then eventually, the last vestige of is that the right word, the last vestige of being a woman in comedy was getting that question in interviews, but it’s boy come such a long way. And it’s so exciting seeing the power of so many women in comedy and what they’re doing. It’s fucking cool, there you go. What else?

 

Benji  28:34

Hey, Sarah, it’s your friend Benji from Canada. I just wanted to know if you actually made it with timorous or if that was just a joke. Okay, love you. I’m a Jew bye.

 

Sarah Silverman  28:46

My trackies I yes, I recall we made out a little bit on a sidewalk after shooting this I hope this is okay that I’m spilling this tea. It was 1997 so you know seems like enough time has passed I feel badly that he blurted that out on Seth Meyers but hopefully he’s cool with it and boy, I will say he and Paris the guy Robert Duncan McNeil and I had so much fun shooting that two part episode it was we all we did were bits in between shooting like they were both so funny. And we just told jokes the whole time. I really I had so much fun and I loved them and I loved the experience and boy that was back when you could really there weren’t as many rules for how late you I don’t know if all the Star Trek series are like this are this is just how it used to be. But we had literally 17 hour days. I don’t think that’s illegal anymore. It was fucking crazy but couldn’t have had to better people to spend 17 hours working with. It was a blast.

 

Geneva  30:05

Hi, Sarah. This is your best friend from Maine, Emma. When my husband and I first started dating, the question of virginity came up. And he told me that he lost his virginity when he was 13 to his childhood best friend’s mother.

 

Sarah Silverman  30:31

Oh, my God.

 

Geneva  30:32

Was in her late 30s okay, late 30s, maybe I don’t have a question. I guess I’m just struggling with how this can be okay. Because, you know, I lost my fucking virginity to a boy I met in summer school when I was 15 like a normal fucking kid.

 

Sarah Silverman  30:54

Oh, there’s no normal.

 

Emma  30:56

I get it. It’s not my trauma. It didn’t happen to me. It happened fucking years ago. He seems unbothered by it. However, it it’s just not, it’s not okay. And I’m just wondering if you have anything to say that could help me feel better about it? You’re so fucking eloquent. And you’re articulate. And you’re you’re so fucking smart Sarah that I know that whatever you say will make me feel better. And so I’m just hoping you could help me out.

 

Sarah Silverman  31:30

The pressures on Emma in Maine fella New England. Yeah, that’s that’s jarring. And of course, that’s absolute well, legally, it is rape. Um, but it’s not funny. But it’s interesting that he is unbothered by it. And you are very bothered by how unbothered by it he is, now either he’s processed it and this is what is and he has moved on. Or this is something he is not dealing with. And you can’t make him deal with it. And you can’t be angry at him for being unbothered by it. This is not your monkey. This is not your circus. But if what you suspect is true, which is that he is I’m guessing is that you suspect he is just not it’s undealt with trauma, then you would see it come up in places where he loses his shit. In other words, if it’s hysterical, its historical, as my therapist says, if he overreact to something small, then there’s something in that. That small thing that happened that is triggering him from childhood trauma. You know, a big one would be if you interrupt someone, and it fucking sets them off. They might have experienced as a child, never being listened to not being considered not being heard. And so that’s triggering for them. And until they deal with the actual trauma or the actual experience from childhood that makes them lose their shit when anything familiar to that happens. Until they make that connection. They won’t really be unburdened by that. So just take note of the places where he loses his shit, that seem like an overreaction to something and wondered to yourself, if that is an element that could have been triggered by something that happened in childhood and may be something very specifically to this. Don’t look for it all excited, you know, like, and try to keep it to yourself. And only when you really make that connection at a at a good time presented to him as a possibility that this is something that is is still affecting his life. And then get him into MDMA therapy. We have a couple of friends doing it and they they they are blown away by how you know, MDMA is like the is ecstasy fine tuned right. I did ecstasy back in the day changed my life forever. I haven’t done MDMA yet. Because I just my body I feel like my body can’t handle drugs other than weed. I just like I did too many of them for too long when in my youth, but yeah, MDMA so ecstasy was originally developed in Dallas, Texas for therapy. And it was in especially couples therapy, and it was really successful. And then it was made totally illegal because people were using it recreationally because it’s amazing. But of course, you have to, it’s best to use it under a doctor’s care or not use it a lot because it I think it drains your spinal fluid and it also creates depression because it surges your brain with serotonin, and then ultimately depletes it. And so when I’m on Zoloft is a serotonin reuptake inhibitor that flow has broken off, and so aloft helps reinforce it. And I don’t know if that had any if ecstasy certainly did not help that situation. So anyway, pure MDMA, I think is better, I don’t know what the all the stats are and everything, but people are starting to it’s not legal. So it’s kind of a underground therapy. But it’s it’s really helping a lot of people and I would imagine it will become legal eventually. There you go, what else?

 

Taylor  36:22

Hi, Sara. This is Taylor calling from Chicago I love your show. And I’m so glad to have you back in the feeds. I’m calling in response to last week’s caller who was talking about their 40th birthday and being let down by their friends. I loved your advice, some tough love that I needed to hear a few years back to, I just wanted to add some stuff as someone who is that person in people’s lives. We undervalue our skills and our talents, and assume that anybody can do the things that we’re good at, and look at other people’s skills and talents and think, Gosh, I could never do those things. Being a gatherer in your friend group, being that person who shows up or buys the great gifts or spends a lot of time thinking about how to put together an event for your friends. That’s a rare gift gathers are rare in our society, especially now. And much like you have to learn to tell people you love them because you want them to hear it and not because you want to hear it back. You have to learn to lean into the skills that you have. And to see the skills that others have that may differ from yours. So you’re probably going to spend the rest of your life being the thoughtful gatherer in your friend groups. lean into it know that it’s your superpower. And not everybody has the same superpower as you That’s all I want to share. Have a great day.

 

Sarah Silverman  37:52

It’s so true, and I am one of those people that is not good at that I’m not good with gifts or thank you notes. And I mean I I try but I also am it’s just not my love language. And I used to feel so guilty and kind of put out by people who like give me gifts on my birthday or this like I’m not into that stuff and it just makes me go off now I have to like remember their birthday and get a equal gift and boba or do but what I realized and maybe I’m you might find them raw, you know think disagree with me but much like you’re saying there are people that that’s their joy, their joy is is doing this stuff and making the in having the balloons and the sparkles and having like a candy bar by putting you know, candy in a bag at your birthday or whatever. I just assume when people do that, that’s that that’s their joy. It’s not my joy. But I understand like when you’re that person like that caller we’re talking about she wanted reciprocity. And of course in life we want that when we give gestures of care we but not everyone’s love languages stuff for or action or doing you know, I mean, like, my friend Mickey loves a birthday. She loves going all out. She loves getting, I mean, the party store, they know her, like, you know her local party stores like Hi Mickey, you know, like, but that’s her joy. I don’t like when it’s her birthday. I text her and I tell her how much I love her and I hope she has a great day and that’s enough for her. Cuz she knows I love her to pieces. And I’m not Mickey. She’s Mickey and that’s what Mickey does. She buys sparkles and balloons and she makes a big thing and we just went to a birthday party of a mutual friend and Mickey did the whole thing and you balloons and that’s what I said it can be there was like a bar of all different all your favorite I mean like Fun Dip, Mike and Ikes, Nerds Rope, my favorite, so much candy and like little bags to make it, you know, a candy bag for yourself and all this. I love that, and I love that that’s what Nikki does. Like, it’s just, she’s so special and she’s just she loves love and parties and joy and, and balloons and like all that stuff. And that’s not me. She gets love from me in other ways, you know? And she doesn’t expect other people to mirror what she does, because nobody could. That’s just like she’s so singular in that way. So yeah, there’s a balance, yeah you want reciprocity in terms of care. But it’s going to look different. That’s all, but anyway. All right, thanks for calling that that’s interesting, what else?

 

Josh  41:08

Hey, Sarah, this is Josh from Portland, Oregon. I’m currently listening to one of your podcasts about man who just called him and said he was also a biracial, four year old who just contracted HIV, I want to say that I am also four years old biracial and also contracted HIV about 10 years ago, I want to tell him that there is hope out there that it is very terrifying and scary. The first couple years, I completely turned into a recluse, stop going out, stop talking to people, I was terrified. But over the years, it’s gotten better the HIV drugs have gotten better. And I just want to reach out to the guy and say, don’t give up and don’t be scared. Life gets better and before you know it, you want to remember you have it. It’ll just you’ll just be in there for your treatments. And then it’ll be time I take an injectable HIV drug and get every two months. And life is good, so don’t be sad dude out there. Life is life is okay, there’s worse things out there that you could have been HIV. And before you know it normally been I mean, you know, it’d be fine. Thank you, Sarah I also really appreciate and listen to your podcasts, and so a lot of fun.

 

Sarah Silverman  42:21

What a great call, Josh thank you so much. And I hope that the caller from before, who has a Home In Vermont, um, here’s that and thank you for calling. And dad, wherever you are. In space and time we are winding down. We are winding down, this is the part of the podcast when I say send me your questions go to speakpipe.com/theSarahSilvermanpodcast and subscribe rate and review wherever you listen to podcasts because that helps us stay on the air. And there’s more of the Sarah Silverman podcast with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus questions like one from a poker player in Boston, who’s often the only woman at the table. Subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Thank you for listening to the Sarah Silverman podcast. We are a production of Lemonada media, Kathryn Barnes and Kryssy Pease produce our show. Our mix is by James Sparber. Additional Lemonada support from Steve Nelson, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Our theme was composed by Ben Folds and you can find me at @SarahKateSilverman on Instagram. Follow the Sarah Silverman podcast wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.