Holiday Party, Part One!
Pop open the champagne and grab a cocktail weenie because it’s an Add to Cart holiday party! We’re opening a revolving door to friends of the pod, who come bearing gifts. Danielle Schneider shares her presents that are perfect for just about anyone. Device Detective Deanna Cheng has a shiny new gadget that will change your life (or at least your chores). Finally, Bridger Winegar brings the gift of nostalgia. Don’t forget to grab some warm nuts on your way out!
PS, leave the kids at home for this one! We discuss the big man himself and don’t want to ruin any surprises.
Don’t miss the second half coming Friday, December 15.
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Please note, Add To Cart contains mature themes and may not be appropriate for all listeners.
To see all products mentioned in this episode, head to @addtocartpod on Instagram. To purchase any of the products, see below.
- The RŌZ Milk Hair Serum is concocted by Mara Roszak, stylist to the stars
- These Hudson Grace Monogram Hand Towels will make any bathroom feel super fancy
- The Dyson V15 Detect vacuum is from the future (and cordless!)
- This control clamp for the Dyson is a must-have
- Hang up all your Dyson accessories with this mount
- Ring, ring, the past is calling! Pick up with the Aastra analog telephone
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SuChin Pak, Danielle Schneider, Bridger Winegar, Kulap Vilaysack, Deanna Cheng
SuChin Pak 00:00
Hey, Carter’s just a little heads up. We’re so excited to welcome you to our holiday party but you may want to leave the kids at home. And it’s not because we’re talking dirty Ku, tell them why we should leave the kids at home.
Kulap Vilaysack 00:16
It’s just a very adult ATC episode, featuring some talk about the big man himself in the holidays. So if you you’re with a kiddo, you might just want to save this episode for another time.
SuChin Pak 00:27
Yeah, we don’t want to ruin any surprises.
Kulap Vilaysack 00:37
Carter’s welcome back, or should I say welcome in? Make yourself a plate. Take your seat at the head of the table, because we’re throwing you a surprise as a car. holiday party? Yes, SuChin Pak, I’m Kulap Vilaysack.
SuChin Pak 00:54
And I’m SuChin Pak, like she said, you know, we set it a few weeks ago when we launched this season, right? Our season that we’re packing it in like sardines, doing the work right for you guys. We’re sweating, we’re sweating. I’m regretting some decisions we made back in August, but that’s okay. I’m barreling through. Now Ku, I know you are a master hostess I think somewhere you’ve you’ve even done a masterclass on hosting or tablescaping or all of the above. So we thought it would be only appropriate that we bring some of that magic. You know some of that, that that hostess with the mostest.
Kulap Vilaysack 01:34
Yeah, that top heavy fairy dust. I know what you’re saying Su, I know what you’re saying. I’m glad that we get to throw this party together. And I know you’ll love this party. Because our guests are doing all the work.
SuChin Pak 01:49
That’s my favorite kind of party. And hopefully they’ll leave early.
Kulap Vilaysack 01:54
Oh, yeah. You want people gone by 9pm? Right whatever the start is, nine. On today’s episode, we’ve invited past guests and friends of the pod and ask them to bring their best gift idea. I’m talking gifts for the person who has everything gifts for coworkers, gifts for friends, our guests have it covered.
SuChin Pak 02:13
You know, we could have stopped with Santa Paul Scheer, we could have been like, that’s great. That’s a great season but no, we could have wrapped it with even tree time. No, no, no, we’re not going to do that we are holding out because we know that you are probably looking for just one more perfect gift. And maybe that gift is for you who knows and here we are.
Kulap Vilaysack 02:33
Here we are exactly Su, so pop open that bottle of champagne and let’s get this party started. Oh, I’m just so I’m a little drunk already. suits and let me get the door.
SuChin Pak 02:46
Kulap Vilaysack 02:47
Oh my goodness, star of stage and screen Danielle Schneider.
SuChin Pak 02:53
Out there it’s freezing. Let me have a goddamn door.
Kulap Vilaysack 02:56
You have no body fat girl but look at you in this fur.
Danielle Schneider 03:00
Ah, you know me it’s not real. Please don’t nobody.
SuChin Pak 03:05
Danielle Schneider 03:07
Yeah, it’s made from you know, just plastic basically beut it looks fantastic.
SuChin Pak 03:13
Danielle Schneider 03:14
Kulap Vilaysack 03:15
Oh, my goodness, you’re a winter wonderland.
Danielle Schneider 03:17
Can someone take my hat off?
SuChin Pak 03:21
And put it in the hat closet. Oh, my goodness and a full blowout, look at you.
Danielle Schneider 03:26
Yeah, well, I wanted to be, you know, snowing out there and sunny California but I wanted to be prepared.
Danielle Schneider 03:26
Well, we’re so glad you roughed the weather to come.
Danielle Schneider 03:29
Thank you. Well, I have a bunch of parties tonight so I’m just going to be in and out but.
Kulap Vilaysack 03:42
Can you just I mean, aside from being a guest that is on demand. What’s your holiday season been like so far?
Danielle Schneider 03:50
Well, I’m a late adapter the holidays, you know.
Kulap Vilaysack 03:55
What does that mean?
Danielle Schneider 03:56
Meaning like I came late, like it really I was a person that like celebrated a week or two before but the season didn’t affect me. And then you know, with someone like Kulap and Casey in your life, you can’t help, you can’t resist.
SuChin Pak 04:10
It’s a virus, yes, that’s right.
Danielle Schneider 04:14
But I’ve enjoyed it. You know, I’m Jewish, but I’ve I grew up with a Christmas tree my entire life. And then my husband’s only half Jewish and my daughter is just the religion of Christmas, I guess and so I’m really having a fun time I’m shopping I’m thinking of throwing something myself, I don’t know.
SuChin Pak 04:38
I like this vibe I don’t know what it is to enjoy the season. I’ve never enjoyed the season while in a relaxed way I you know like Wolverine without her shots up into the very last minute and I burned myself out. Usually I get a little cold right around Christmas. That’s really fun, to me […]
Danielle Schneider 05:01
Yeah, yeah, mother’s mother’s work is never done. But I think it’s the not having pressure like my parents did the bare minimum. Like, even though we were Jewish, somewhere on the fourth night, like it was all just forgotten about, like, we never got past the fourth night of like lighting a candle, like I feel no pressure because I have no precedent, and that is such a you know, it’s like a monkey off your back.
SuChin Pak 05:26
I like it, okay.
Kulap Vilaysack 05:27
Now […] world listeners know this already but your daughter, Sydney after she returned from camp this year. She was very upset at you, Danielle because what happened?
Danielle Schneider 05:41
I well, we finally had to tell her there was no Santa she’s 10 now and I think for a while she’s been suspecting and we’ve been like, no, no, no. And so we knew we were last year was kind of the last year the last hurrah. And I think she was more wanting to believe it than actually believed it. But this year, she went to summer camp, and people are making fun of her because and so we were like now it’s just cruel. And we have to like, let it happen. So we rip the band aid off that as I rip the band aid off, I also ripped a huge fart and so not only I told her about Santa, she’s crying and I was so upset about it, like I was having stomach worries because I knew we were about to tell her. And then like, so she’s hysterical crying, and then I let out a fart that is the worst smell that has ever been like it was my soul, the smell of my soul dying and ruining her childhood and so not only is she crying. She’s crying, she’s like, Oh, God. I’m so sorry I don’t have feel.
SuChin Pak 06:44
This is like wedding toast material.
Danielle Schneider 06:48
Yeah, it was the worst experience of both of our lives like it was It could not have gotten worse. And so I have so this has got to be a really special Christmas now in December.
Kulap Vilaysack 07:00
Does she feel better about everything?
Danielle Schneider 07:04
Yes, like there was some concern cuz she was like, do I still get to write a list of Santa? And we’re like, yes. Like we’re Santa. We want to make it so I feel like now Matt, my husband and I are just like going big time like we’re just like, okay, we gotta make fun, we got to show her it’s still fun even without like the spirit of.
SuChin Pak 07:21
You gotta hold in your fart yeah, all the farts for all of December in January, let it out in December on your birthday on January […]
Danielle Schneider 07:34
I’ve ruined her life, I’ve ruined my own reputation like, just the worst, I’ve never done worse.
SuChin Pak 07:40
The Santa talk, Kulap is like, you don’t understand. Um, how terrible it is. Until you get there you’re like, this is stupid, why am I this upset? I was away on a trip and my husband decided to tell my kids. I don’t know It happened, I don’t know if they asked whatever. I came back from my trip to two children arms crossed, tapping and I cried.
Danielle Schneider 08:16
I understandably you have every reason to cry.
SuChin Pak 08:19
I was so upset but now that you’re telling this story, maybe it did me a favor I it’s it’s really perspective isn’t it? You may have saved my marriage through Christmas because I hold that a little bit.
Danielle Schneider 08:31
Well, I guess the thing is you can’t hold it I didn’t hold anything.
SuChin Pak 08:37
Suddenly more now I’m letting it out.
Danielle Schneider 08:39
Yeah, let it all out.
SuChin Pak 08:40
It could be Christmas to to to.
Kulap Vilaysack 08:47
Know Danielle, I’m sorry I was listening but I knew the story already and I was a little distracted by that wrap gift yeah behind your back […]
Danielle Schneider 09:00
You guys are the hostesses with the Moses’s and I have to say it’s a lot of pressure to give you guys a gift.
SuChin Pak 09:05
Yeah, oh, it’s for us?
Danielle Schneider 09:08
No, not that one. The bigger one is for my next party.
SuChin Pak 09:12
Why don’t you bring it inside? Leave it in the car Danielle.
Danielle Schneider 09:15
Oh, well, I don’t want it to get stolen in his neighborhood.
SuChin Pak 09:19
It’s such an expensive gift.
Danielle Schneider 09:22
So fancy this garbage though, I slept in the car. No, but I do think it’s a lot of pressure to give you guys a gift because you guys are my touchstones of what to buy like your new newsletter is in like I love it so much and I have bought things off of her already and then I have follow up questions which isn’t fair to you guys, but you know, I’m always texting guys with follow ups but you guys are the queen so it’s hard to give a gift to you too because I don’t know that it’ll be accepted.
Kulap Vilaysack 09:53
Well look, last time you were on the show. We talked about Haley Bieber skincare brand road. So we know that you’re on the pulse of what the girls want, and what they’re buying what they need. Like, that’s the Daniel Schneider promise.
Danielle Schneider 10:07
That’s the way.
Kulap Vilaysack 10:10
So that’s excited to unwrap what you’ve brought for us. So I’m sorry to interrupt what we were gonna say before I.
Danielle Schneider 10:16
It was like being punched in the face, with a shit fist it was awful. It was truly the worst thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve done some bad stuff.
SuChin Pak 10:16
No, no, no, no, sorry it was gonna make another fart joke can we just go on? I can’t stop […]
Kulap Vilaysack 10:33
Well, let me I’m hoping that you’re gonna not because that was something different.
Danielle Schneider 10:39
Don’t stress me out is what I’ll say, don’t stress me out.
Kulap Vilaysack 10:44
Oh my goodness, this is the Ross we Su, we love Ross’s hair, her hair oil. But this is the milk hair serum.
Danielle Schneider 10:55
Now I have to say Nora, who is the founder of Ross and creator and she is styles to the stars like big stars. We’re talking, your Natalie Portman, Olivia Wilde now I can no longer can no longer get in touch with her and that she’s gotten too big and so that.
SuChin Pak 11:13
She’s not she’s not on the on the group texts like we are.
Danielle Schneider 11:16
She is no longer answering my calls. But I will say her products like I love the Santa Margarita that has been good for me and I have thin hair. So I’m always worried that any sort of oil that touches my hair, any products or touch my hair is gonna make it oily but this milk is the next is the next thing that dies next. This is the present I’m giving to everybody this year, so you’re not special.
Kulap Vilaysack 11:39
I will walk you through these, these little niacin yeah.
SuChin Pak 11:46
Because we can take it […]
Danielle Schneider 11:51
It’s to everyone I care about. Everyone’s getting it but I’m not giving a lot of gifts because most people don’t deserve a goddamn gift. And so you do and this is you can use it as a leaving conditioner. It’s the next step or you can put it on after your shower. These are the you can do either of these things. And even when you have thin sort of hair like I do, it’s not heavy on your hair guys. And if you have thick hair, then because Mara has really thick hair. You can just use more and it is so soft and smooth and makes your hair stunning. Her products are so good. She has like yes, they pouching the scent.
SuChin Pak 12:34
Oh scent is unbelievable.
SuChin Pak 12:36
The scent, scent alone.
Danielle Schneider 12:39
And I will also say like the price point for how long it lasts, it’s really good. Because it’s like $50 but it lasts like I swear to god two years if you’re me, like, yeah, it lasts so long that the price point over that time period is fucking in better than like Pantene like it’s fucking great.
Kulap Vilaysack 13:02
Yeah, yes, yes, okay, I’m very excited okay, great Su, do you want to open the next gifts?
Danielle Schneider 13:09
I brought two because there’s two of you.
SuChin Pak 13:11
Okay, okay, here I go I’m opening it up , what could this be? Are these wait I don’t understand where did these hand towels but with my initials on them, do you say moi?
Danielle Schneider 13:29
Why there’s also a comes with something to hold the hand towels then I don’t know if you leave under coming in a marble case.
SuChin Pak 13:37
Oh, the marble case also. Okay, so tell us about this. It’s monogram paper guest hand towels Danielle.
Danielle Schneider 13:46
I bring out when I have people are at the house. Okay and they it’s an easy monogram and when you give this gift, people feel so special to have something monogram. You know what I mean? You know, but it also feels like well thought actually takes two seconds and then this kind of marble case of it in fancies it up. So like it’s just a perfect hostess gift for anyone who’s having a party because they really feel it’s not a crazy price point, yeah, these towels lasts forever. And it makes someone feels like you really saw them and thought of them because their own last name is monogram.
Kulap Vilaysack 14:26
It’s 50 towels per pack. So that’s a lot.
Danielle Schneider 14:30
And you bring it out at a party you bring it up but it is I feel like it makes people feel special and seen when you give them this gift.
SuChin Pak 14:39
First of all, monogram anything is thoughtful, then you know, this isn’t a real gift. This isn’t a last minute purchase at […]
Danielle Schneider 14:50
Is some candle that’s been across your entire friend group that keeps getting re gifted. That’s isn’t that.
SuChin Pak 14:58
I get so many kids handles and I read gift somebody, but but my thing is, but a re gift is still a gift as long as the gift is amazing.
Danielle Schneider 15:07
Look, I’ll take your candle. I’ll take your dip teak you don’t fucking want I’ll take.
Kulap Vilaysack 15:11
I’ll take your Jo Malone, I’ll take it.
Danielle Schneider 15:13
Oh, I’ll take it all. I got no problem but this says this has not been to anyone but you.
SuChin Pak 15:20
Yes, this says nobody’s hands have touched us but you it’s so unusual. It’s practical and unusual. Now that tickles both of my bells. You know what I mean left and right, ting ting.
Kulap Vilaysack 15:36
Danielle, thank you so much for coming.
SuChin Pak 15:38
Danielle, I feel like you’re backing out of that. […] Ziplock of nuts we have warmed knots in zip locks […]
Kulap Vilaysack 15:58
SuChin Pak 16:14
Who could it be it’s my turn to check. Oh my goodness. It’s our very own device detective Deanna Cheng, Triple D, Deanna.
Deanna Cheng 16:25
SuChin Pak 16:27
Welcome you’re so festive with all all the the Christmas lights around your jacket and your Santa hat. Look at you go ahead and take some of that off, you look like a tree topper. And I mean that in the most sexual way.
Deanna Cheng 16:42
Well, you know, you guys I mean, what I’m seeing behind you is just bringing me into the spirit. You know, you are too little elves. Just cheer everywhere and it feels really good to be here. I feel like this season has actually right you got.
SuChin Pak 16:59
That is the energy that Ku brings and I support her in that, you know, the wind beneath her wings.
Kulap Vilaysack 17:06
Yeah, she’s my she’s my if you’re the tree topper, she’s my tree bottom.
SuChin Pak 17:15
I am the large skirt that goes that goes around her bottom that hides all the tidbits and knit.
Kulap Vilaysack 17:24
And together we are we are Christmas transform.
SuChin Pak 17:26
I love it, if you will.
Kulap Vilaysack 17:28
Deanna, I can only assume what you have wrapped so beautifully is a new gadget. But if I may, if I may just rip apart this big red bow and see what’s underneath.
Deanna Cheng 17:39
Is that all right. Please do please do be careful.
Kulap Vilaysack 17:42
Okay, it’s big, it’s a big,
SuChin Pak 17:47
Kulap Vilaysack 17:48
So powerful, oh, Deanna, you were talking about this the Dyson v 15 Detect Vacuum and yellow and iron.
SuChin Pak 17:58
Okay, so tell us about this vacuum cleaner and why? It just it it’s putting a pep in your step.
Kulap Vilaysack 18:06
It’s cordless, it reveals invisible dust intelligently adapts suction based on floor type and picked up dust volume trademark pending Deanna, I recall you talking about this vacuum. You and your husband, Mr. Wang Cheng binding this knowing this sourcing this, please, please tell us the tale.
Deanna Cheng 18:28
So I have a lot of hair, Wang has a lot of hair and Otto has a lot of hair.
Kulap Vilaysack 18:34
Otto their dog.
Deanna Cheng 18:36
Were shedding over here all the time, where we really are hand to God and so I needed to be vacuuming more than I was but I just couldn’t I hated it so much. So I had heard from our friend Jason McCallum a dear friend Kulap knows him well and he was talking about that v 15. He mentioned something about a laser. And that really was why sort of like, wow, a laser what’s this laser, you know.
SuChin Pak 19:06
The needle has dropped on the record. Here we are the laser is so this vacuum cleaner has a laser?
Deanna Cheng 19:13
He said you’re gonna see things you’ve never seen before because of that laser. So if you dim the lights or turn them off completely, which is kind of fun. What you’re gonna see on your floor is gonna blow your hair back. Not only are you going to let your bare eye is going to think you’re doing fine. You’re like, hey, it looks pretty clean to me. And you are just gonna see bunnies dust bunnies and little lizards and just things and hairs and this and that and the other.
SuChin Pak 19:48
So the laser is like is it like a black light?
Deanna Cheng 19:51
Similar it’s illuminating thing, it’s illuminate. It also as you’re going over you know, as you’re doing your vacuuming, you can watch the dial of the at the top of the vacuum and it’s going to count your particles and it’s going to break down what type of particles they are why is also pulling like skin cells off the ground?
Kulap Vilaysack 20:15
The way that you’re describing it, it is the exact same way you have wrought the vigor research.
SuChin Pak 20:22
The research, the stem, the science.
Kulap Vilaysack 20:25
As you have brought us, essentially vacuums for the face, I guess. Devices for the face.
Deanna Cheng 20:33
Yeah, the Omni Lux is sloughing off some skin cells, and then the dice and V 15 is going to suck them up off the ground. That’s really what’s happening. So yeah, and that’s going to be packed at the bottom of your canister in a way that you’ve never seen that disorder of packed skin cells before because you just haven’t because that’s not usually what’s in your vacuum, so it is powerful. Okay, their heart by literally the looks on their faces.
SuChin Pak 21:06
I mean, I can’t wait to get off of this podcast so I can play the video on the site that says see it in action.
Kulap Vilaysack 21:14
And Deanna just texted us both SuChin and you pull up your phone, she’s texted a picture of her setup, it is reminiscent of her vanity and assess.
SuChin Pak 21:23
Soldiers are ready the soldiers are ready to be deployed are all those attachments part of the Dyson?
Deanna Cheng 21:29
That mount that I sent you, which is mounted in the garage does not come with the product that is an off brand, Amazon mount, okay. And it is so important, because without that mount, what they don’t give you is anywhere to put all these attachments. So this one which I will give you the attachment to the link, you can get all your goodies up and sorted. So that like that another majorly important thing is this tiny lever that hooks your power handle, because Dyson has not made that you don’t lock it in. So you have to hold it with your finger. So the attachment I’m going to send you is a little lever that locks it in for you essential, essential it costs like $10 and it’s so because, why are you making my finger work so hard Dyson come on now.
Deanna Cheng 21:31
These engineers they were focusing more on on the human condition, you know that they missed that? Yes. Very crucial thing about charging their your $800 vacuum.
Deanna Cheng 22:45
Yeah, they missed the mount. And they missed the lever to hold it in place as you were and PS no big deal, outsource it. Both of these I think all in another 30 bucks tops. So you know, it’s okay like you will get these things and you’ll be like, okay, I’m never gonna think about the fact that they forgot it again. I’m moving forward.
Kulap Vilaysack 23:07
To take the good the bad, the far outweighs the bad okay.
Deanna Cheng 23:11
Yes, the other thing I’m not sometimes I’m just doing a quickie on the series […] on the stairs. It’s not a whole day event. I can run around with this. You know, and so that alone being cordless, being free to be free to move is really an I, I’ve heard that the Dyson team’s whole goal was to have the power of a boarded up vacuum in a cordless and Goddamnit if they didn’t do it.
Kulap Vilaysack 23:43
You’re selling me so hard right now. And I know you’re selling SuChinI don’t know if she’s there yet. But that you talking about freedom. That’s the way into her heart.
SuChin Pak 23:52
No, it is the freedom part, just like more chores. I feel that’s the part that I well. My my shoulder goes no more chores, you know, but I liked the freedom and I liked the power. And I love the laser fucking dial telling you what you’re sucking up. Man, does that get my nerd alert ringing you know.
Kulap Vilaysack 24:22
Deanna, you always provide you really do. You always provide us with these high level tips.
SuChin Pak 24:28
So we have to make sure to not only show people the gift you brought, but we’re going to put up links to all of the various essential items that really bring this to that next level. So don’t bring this as a gift. Just as is bring the whole thing if you’re gonna do it, finish it.
Deanna Cheng 24:49
I don’t mind that, I don’t know.
SuChin Pak 24:51
Just bring it out in us, you bring it out on us.
Deanna Cheng 24:53
Yeah, this is also maybe a gift for yourself, you know.
Kulap Vilaysack 24:56
There we go, there we go, so Deanna, I want to gas you up a bit and I want to gas you up in the sense that it was maybe I think maybe the month was July when you said you shot off a group text to me and Casey rose and you called out like hey, you’re talking about traditions you’re talking about this talking about how great it is to gift an ornament here. I haven’t received one from you now Casey apparently had I have added I hadn’t. You have given me ornaments in the past. It is actually a crime that I haven’t gifted you one. And it was a case of closed mouths don’t get fed and my friend I want you to know, I’m gonna see you in a future date, you shall be fed.
Deanna Cheng 25:43
Wow, okay, because SuChin I’ve been hearing these force. Go on this podcast that podcast and another talking about their ornament purchasing, I go to this place and I get this special one for this one, I go get this one for the nickel, this fools have never given me a goddamn ornament. I’m sitting here taking in a lot of content, holiday content.
SuChin Pak 26:08
And checking it twice.
Deanna Cheng 26:10
Checking it twice now. Yes, Casey gave Wang and I a salad with a C on it. I don’t count that as my own ornament. That’s a Cheng ornament as a family ornament.
Kulap Vilaysack 26:22
Deanna Cheng 26:24
So I did, I had to open my mouth surgeon and I had to say I am not gonna listen to another podcast where they rattle on about the joys of going to large scale Christmas places wonderlands and picking little special things for every person they know I can’t listen to it again.
SuChin Pak 26:44
And you know what the thing is, is some people may be offended by your tone, the audacity but not this gal. Now Kuku, Kukuloves when a woman’s mind loves when a woman centers herself and her needs and she’s like, oh, I’m getting you, you you may want to back the truck up next year because I do not I do not disbelieve that she will be bringing the ornaments for 2024.
Kulap Vilaysack 27:20
I made it but see do not I was like that put on my list, gotta put my list.
SuChin Pak 27:24
Get up put […] Put it on the Google doc you’ve already got next year.
Kulap Vilaysack 27:30
Happened before November 1st, that’s what I’m saying that’s like everybody’s date your needs.
Deanna Cheng 27:35
You did say closed mouths don’t get fed. And it is like a guiding principle that I’m taking into 2024.
SuChin Pak 27:42
See you you brought a gift and now you leave with a gift. Yeah, I feel she conquered that all, now she can go I also have a bag of warm nuts that I’m giving to all of our guests and I hope you enjoy it on your own because you know sometimes you just want a snack after you’ve been to a party and you’ve given enough of your social battery you know, so thank you so much.
Kulap Vilaysack 28:04
There’s a pail at the end of the driveway, you can drop them there if you don’t want to take them as […]
Deanna Cheng 28:09
Am thrilled with a bag of warm nuts for the road.
SuChin Pak 28:13
Bye Deanna, thank you so much Happy holidays.
Deanna Cheng 28:16
Merry merry merry merry.
Kulap Vilaysack 28:30
Okay, oh SuChin, what a fabulous party we’re thrilled.
SuChin Pak 28:34
I mean, haven’t thrown a party like this whatever. It’s just been all of our closest and dearest and everyone bringing gifts, just like my fantasy.
Kulap Vilaysack 28:44
Truly the podcast Illuminati a literati no no […]
SuChin Pak 28:49
All of the above the literate secret cult. That’s what we are. No it’s it’s amazing and I can’t wait to see who pops in at our next doorbell sound which is coming, right now.
Kulap Vilaysack 29:06
Let me get it let me sashay to the door.
Kulap Vilaysack 29:10
Oh my Stars and Stripes Forever, the rat contour, the writer, comedian actor, host of I Said No Gifts! Mr. Bridger Winegar has graced us, has graced us welcome sir welcome.
Bridger Winegar 29:26
Oh, you two, it’s so nice to see you happy holidays.
SuChin Pak 29:30
Happy Holidays, Bridger, like I don’t I don’t want to put you on the spot right away before we get into what you’ve brought for us today but you really fit am I am I wrong? in sensing a fit vibe from you.
Kulap Vilaysack 29:46
Like a tightness in a rightness?
SuChin Pak 29:48
Yeah, like a like a you know how when, when a guy you can tell a guy is really fit just like right in that like that neck shoulder me. Like that’s how you you do you what is the term when you you separate the the wheat from the chaff that the nugget.
Kulap Vilaysack 30:08
Exterior your neck meat is just so defined right now? Do you tell tell us more.
SuChin Pak 30:13
I am a sucker for neck meat.
Bridger Winegar 30:15
I said I wasn’t gonna let one more Christmas pass by without neck meat. And so, you know, at the beginning of the year I put the work in. And I’m gonna surround myself with loved ones and my neck mate.
Kulap Vilaysack 30:28
You know, to see a man in December with such a deep V, I to really showcase that cleave that neck cleave if you will.
Bridger Winegar 30:32
It’s my belly butt.
SuChin Pak 30:33
He’s really showing up to this party right down to […]
Bridger Winegar 30:42
Got in there and cut it myself. You know, it was deep it was mid, I said, let’s go further. Let’s give everybody this torso.
SuChin Pak 30:51
My goodness, what a treat I am present on top of that, I don’t know if my my heart can handle more.
Kulap Vilaysack 30:58
I mean famously, you say your your podcast as I Said No Gifts! This year you were your billboard of your podcast was in Times Square of all places. And now you’re here with a gift, wow.
SuChin Pak 31:14
We’re honored, we’re honored. I can’t even believe you remembered us.
Bridger Winegar 31:18
Look, I actually had completely forgotten both of you. I did everything I could to just kind of push you out of my push into the back of my mind. Now that’s actually not true. You’ve both kind of continued to dominate my life and interesting ways. Because, Su last night I wore socks to bed that you gave me.
SuChin Pak 31:38
Did you feel like a little hug on your feet?
Bridger Winegar 31:41
Were in sock in bed whether
SuChin Pak 31:43
Oh, I mean sock in bed weather is is my mantra.
Kulap Vilaysack 31:47
I never do that, you guys are weird.
SuChin Pak 31:49
I mean, you’re the one that has your toes out. Who knows what’s coming for that? Lizards? Black Widow serpents. There could be cold liquids, I don’t know someone could be walking by with an ice cold beverage and drops them on your on your toe. And then you have pneumonia for life, you don’t know about these things? Bridger and I do.
Kulap Vilaysack 32:11
Think I live Su?
SuChin Pak 32:13
You just don’t we just don’t know.
Kulap Vilaysack 32:15
Where do I live in some sort of New Mexico Commu?
Bridger Winegar 32:20
Four electric blankets, I assume?
SuChin Pak 32:24
Bridger and I like a what a lap blanket.
Bridger Winegar 32:27
Oh, what all night long.
SuChin Pak 32:30
Yeah, just like a nice lap blanket, just cozy all the time.
Bridger Winegar 32:34
And to never have the fear that your toes might poke out and be cold. Even if they poke out they’re still gonna be warm. I can’t I can’t fall asleep with the anxiety of thinking about my toes popping out. So I get those socks on and I’m totally at ease.
Kulap Vilaysack 32:49
Well, can we talk about how I’m in your life how I’m over this.
Bridger Winegar 32:55
Kulap, you’re in my life in another way. About a month ago, I received a mysterious package in the mail. Opened it up and you had sent me probably 70 pounds of gummy bears World’s Finest gummy bears.
Kulap Vilaysack 33:12
Where they couldn’t attend a party. And so I felt that in my stead that these bears would suffice.
SuChin Pak 33:21
Now will you be eating 20 pounds of these gummy bears and then putting a chip clip on it and sending it back to Kulap? Like is this what you this is your love language between you too. You guys send each other gummy bears.
Bridger Winegar 33:35
We have exchanged just bags, like Ziploc bags of gummy bears before? I think I’m gonna throw one over your fence in the middle of the night. Just land on your lawn or something. You’ll hear a thud and it’ll be your half.
Kulap Vilaysack 33:48
I’ll go hey, and then I’ll run out. Bridger sending me love gummies.
SuChin Pak 33:56
The opposite, hey […] is on one end of the dictionary and love gummies is on the other.
Bridger Winegar 34:05
Yeah, it’s a very, very large bag and you know, I have to I have to limit myself, I’m very good at limiting myself on treats because I know if I don’t it’s such a slippery slope, especially with gummy bears. If I just have an open bag of gummy bears next to me, it will just be done. This bag, I’m allowing myself three a day, which means I’m going to have these well past their expiration date. I’ll probably have them until 2029.
SuChin Pak 34:32
Gummy bears don’t have expiration dates you silly.
Kulap Vilaysack 34:35
Yeah, but just have a change in deterring me from getting you more. I basically wasn’t listening. Like I’m eating more next year.
Bridger Winegar 34:46
No, they’ll just be different textures and it’ll be a nice like a nice aging.
SuChin Pak 34:50
I don’t mind a chewy, stale gummy bear.
Bridger Winegar 34:52
I in a lot of gummies I prefer you can have them to something.
SuChin Pak 34:57
I like to work at it. You know what I mean? like to just kind of nibble at it for a while and then see what comes to mind, you know, like you just, you just don’t know there are thoughts in your brain that only really a stale gummy bear can ignite. And I love shower, I have to limit myself too on just gummy candies. I like a gummy candy. And so what I have mine in the car, my glove compartment.
Bridger Winegar 35:26
Wow, now that’s dangerous because July comes and that’s sloshing around in there, those have melted.
SuChin Pak 35:33
True yeah, maybe in the in the summer, I have been known to take them out. But generally for the colder months, or at least the months that aren’t sweltering. I like to have a little packet of gummy something in the car, and that’s where I have my treat and that’s where the treats shall stay.
Bridger Winegar 35:49
That’s very interesting yeah, then you don’t have them around the house.
SuChin Pak 35:53
You don’t have them around the house.
Kulap Vilaysack 35:56
And I’m hearing you both you both want car gummies.
SuChin Pak 35:59
We don’t want seven pounds of gummies is for a lot of abundance of cars. I’ve aged my gummies it’s taken me a while I’m very happy with the amount of gummies that I have it’s the perfect amount.
Kulap Vilaysack 36:19
Bridger, am I to understand that this President before me that’s a word is for a gift for the person who has everything.
Bridger Winegar 36:27
This is a gift for the person who has everything and I do want to say something about this phrase, the person who has everything. I think it’s code for brother in law who’s moderately successful. That’s what we’re talking about every time yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 36:41
Bridger Winegar 36:42
That is the person you don’t want to get to know.
SuChin Pak 36:44
That’s a hard category to shop for, that is a hard category.
Bridger Winegar 36:48
But let’s assume there’s this true, ideal person who has everything or closer to that, should I reveal what the good.
Kulap Vilaysack 36:59
Bridger Winegar 37:02
The person who has everything, probably doesn’t have a landline? I think the landline is a perfect gift this holiday season.
Kulap Vilaysack 37:14
Oh, wait so it’s not just because I see before me an analog telephone, but you’re nothing just give the phone
Bridger Winegar 37:20
Oh, that it’s you know, subscription services are so popular as gifts at this point. This is kind of, you know, it’s a new take on a subscription service. It’s a landline with this phone. Now this phone is it’s the brand we know and trust, it’s the aistrup brand in charcoal.
SuChin Pak 37:43
Yeah if you’ve ever worked at a corporate office, if you’ve any been a temp this piece of machinery may be familiar to you. I have to say this looking at this phone is triggering for me. It brings back a lot of terrible memories as an intern as an assistant.
Kulap Vilaysack 38:04
Yeah, I dropped a lot of calls.
SuChin Pak 38:06
I dropped so many calls hold flash.
Bridger Winegar 38:09
So the last time I used a phone like this, I was asked to stop answering the phones because I couldn’t operate it. My boss had to pull me aside and so you can do the rest of your job, but we don’t want you answering phones anymore.
SuChin Pak 38:23
Yeah, this is that phone.
Bridger Winegar 38:26
This is that phone.
SuChin Pak 38:27
This the boss move though is to get this with a landline.
Bridger Winegar 38:30
I mean, it’s the ultimate gift for some for almost anybody at this point, especially this person who has everything they get the landline, they get this phone and I was looking up different phones to go along with the landline and there are you know, they’re like kitschy they’re decorative ones. That could easily just be mistaken as a piece of decor in your home. This gift this phone as you want people to see it and think, oh my God, they have a landline. Because there’s no other reason you would have that in your home.
SuChin Pak 38:59
Because it’s so ugly, right?
Bridger Winegar 39:00
No mistake, it’s just I mean, it’s one step away from a an inkjet printer. It’s not a good looking device. It’s in charcoal, as I said, and it has all of the features that you can possibly I mean, I can I’m happy to read them off if you’d like I mean the what is, okay, let’s look into this. Let me get on the webpage here okay, it has a display of course it’s got Call Waiting caller ID yes that’s a little bit newer function for a phone but that’s interesting. Has the flash key, yes and the flash key is something I don’t know what the flash I’ve never known of hitting the flash button means.
SuChin Pak 39:37
I don’t know is it when another call comes in? No because that’s hold that’s hold
Bridger Winegar 39:41
And there’s a lot of power and hold when we put someone on hold.
SuChin Pak 39:43
Oh, I don’t recall yeah, I’m actually feeling uncomfortable.
Bridger Winegar 39:49
And this is something you could be comfortable with at home it’s it is separating work and play. This one is more for fun and socializing. Taking personal call
SuChin Pak 40:00
Oh, wait, it has 14 programmable memory keys, it would be fun. If the phone you could only call those 14 people, you know, top four times top 14, and the top 14 could change and change depending on how you act it at my last party, I’m liking where this is going when you said fun, I didn’t see that at first Bridger.
Bridger Winegar 40:22
Oh, it’s a little bit of social fun. Imagine walking into this person’s room. They’re a close friend or so you thought you’d look at their programmed keys. You’re not on there.
Kulap Vilaysack 40:32
Wow at least know where you stand.
Bridger Winegar 40:34
You know exactly where you’re stand, you might be number 15 or you might be number 190. You don’t matter to this person at all.
Kulap Vilaysack 40:42
Not this month.
Bridger Winegar 40:43
I mean, now you have to put in the work. That’s why I’ve been taking them for granted, I’ve been have been doing a half assed job with this relationship. Let me get in the top 14.
Kulap Vilaysack 40:52
God I love it.
Bridger Winegar 40:54
As we said as the hold button, which I just I would love nothing more than to put someone on hold right now. Mom, I’ve got to put you on hold. And then you can put them on for as long as you want and they just get that annoying beep. It does not have an intercom again, it’s not a business phone, you’re not gonna be calling your employees over the intercom. […] everyone in my office, it’s just personal, your gapping you might be calling like for a pizza or whateve but you don’t have to stress of work, line size to I don’t know what that means I assume that you can have two, so let’s say and this is bound to happen somebody else gives you a landline. How do I handle two landlines? This phone Scott, you, you’ve got them both on there and then that second one can be for your top 28 you know, 14 through 20.
Kulap Vilaysack 41:42
SuChin Pak 41:45
I really unlikely I’m liking the picture you’re painting of this person and this person’s home. It’s really It’s lightened up all kinds of things for me, but go on, what else does it have?
Bridger Winegar 41:59
Let’s say you’ve had a few people it’s a party but this person couldn’t make it, their flight got canceled so you’ve put them on speaker and everybody gets around the phone it’s like essentially a little fireplace. The warmth, the comfort there.
SuChin Pak 42:15
Party, landline, that’s fun.
Bridger Winegar 42:18
Right, everybody gather around the phone, Grandma’s here in spirit and you I mean, are you can you have that on while you’re vacuuming, hammering.
Kulap Vilaysack 42:30
So I can hear you hammering.
Bridger Winegar 42:32
SuChin Pak 42:33
You ever like have like, my husband has a like a business partner and they’re close. They’ve been friends since like high school and sometimes I’ll walk through and I’ll listen just briefly to their phone conversation, and they’re both on speakerphone, not talking just typing on their computer.
Bridger Winegar 42:53
They want to hear each other breathing.
SuChin Pak 42:54
Yeah, and every once in a while, he’ll be like, oh, do you get that? Okay, so let me wait, hold on, let me and it’s like they’re in the same room, but they’re not. And and it’s the most bizarre, bizarre way to run a business, but this is. This is also you may not know you could do that, it’s almost like a webcam, if you will.
Bridger Winegar 43:14
Right, an audio webcam.
Kulap Vilaysack 43:16
And yes, this is an audio webcam.
SuChin Pak 43:19
Oh, I get it now.
Kulap Vilaysack 43:23
That really I wasn’t sure until those words came together. And now it hit it hit me the right way.
Bridger Winegar 43:30
Kulap Vilaysack 43:31
Bridger, may I kiss your neck meat Goodbye.
Bridger Winegar 43:35
I’m not hanging up. I pay a lot for this phone plan. Comcast tricked me they bundled it with my other things
SuChin Pak 43:44
Stay then stay, if you want to stay in the corner with your phone, please, by all means.
Bridger Winegar 43:52
All I’m gonna say is this thing costs 109 85 and you’re going to be paying probably $30 extra a month for the rest of this person’s life a small price to pay.
Kulap Vilaysack 44:06
I mean, you’re gonna continue to pay for the perpetuity.
SuChin Pak 44:10
Yes, for your brother in law who’s moderately successful? You love that man.
Bridger Winegar 44:15
You’re not gonna cut the bill then he’s gonna be so confused. He picks up and he gets the weird busy freak signal that he doesn’t have a phone anymore. No, no, no, no, no, you’re paying that forever.
Kulap Vilaysack 44:25
Okay. You follow through with your gifts follow the way.
Bridger Winegar 44:31
Thank you, thank you for recognizing that.
Kulap Vilaysack 44:33
Thank you so much Bridger, I know I actually know Su that he does love a nut so if you.
SuChin Pak 44:39
Yes, I’ve been giving all all of my all of our guests just warm nuts. I’ve been toasting them in my air fryer. You know and I put them in a ziplock and it’s just it has a little bit of sweat in it but that’s okay because they’re salty nuts and so the the sweaty salty, warm nuts in case I what I don’t want is a guest to go home and on their drive home their, blood sugar drops not on my watch. Just like you don’t want someone to pick up a line and it’s dead. Okay, that is the death I’m thinking of. Okay, so we both understand that we need to take care of the people we love forever and so please take some more nuts on your way out.
Bridger Winegar 45:17
Thank you all have them on the passenger seat I’ll be digging in. And I’ll be thinking of both of you on the way home eating these nuts ,and who could ask for more?
Kulap Vilaysack 45:28
No, now I’m hearing both of you want car nuts next year.
SuChin Pak 45:33
You want seven pounds […]
Kulap Vilaysack 45:37
Bridger Winegar 45:40
Nuts are great in any weather.
Kulap Vilaysack 45:43
Thank you, Bridger.
Bridger Winegar 45:45
SuChin Pak 45:47
Happy holidays and happy holidays.
Kulap Vilaysack 45:57
That’s all for today’s episode, but it’s not the end of our party.
SuChin Pak 46:00
Oh, no, no, not at all. It’s a rager as the kids say people are staying late holidays. It’s 24/7 here this is just part one. We’re going to run to the store, we’re going to get some more drinks stock up on the moose boosh before we regroup, right to have our holiday party.
Kulap Vilaysack 46:17
And you won’t even have to wait a week part two of our holiday party will be out this Friday. And you’ll have another episode of Add To Cart the following Tuesday. We’re just the gift that keeps on giving.
SuChin Pak 46:28
Now in the meantime, keep up with us on Instagram at Add to Cart pod where you’ll find all of our guests amazing gift ideas or remember you can get us in your inbox every week by subscribing to our newsletter. The link is in the show notes and that’s all for now bye.
There’s more ADD TO CART with Lemonada Premium. Subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content like where we tell you about the last item we bought or returned and why. Subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Add To Cart is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producers are Kegan Zema and Tiffany Bouy. Brian Castillo is our engineer. Theme music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers or Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer, and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen at free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.