Livin’ On a Chaise

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Happy New Year! The girls welcome in 2024 with hopes for whiter teeth and Jessica announces she’s on a staycation in the Underworld. Then, they unravel why Jessica was receiving people “on the chaise” at a friend’s holiday get together and June compliments the raw animal energy she brought to Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer.” Remember Deep Divers, that dirty dish in the sink can wait. You’re in a season of evolution.

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Jessica St. Clair, June Diane Raphael

Jessica St. Clair  00:10

Hi, I’m Jessica St. Clair.


June Diane Raphael  00:12

And I’m June Diane Raphael, and this is The Deep Dive. We’re about to do what women have done for centuries we’re crowded around the fire with our generous hunches. We got babies hanging off our tits, and we’re going to share with you our fears.


Jessica St. Clair  00:27

That’s right.


June Diane Raphael  00:28

Our joys, our tips on how to stay alive. Now Jess, we’re heating a call that no one has made.


Jessica St. Clair  00:37

Not a soul, but you’re invited to listen.


June Diane Raphael  00:39

Absolutely, because we make one promise and one promise only we will not Google a thing because frankly, we’re too damn tired, please get ready to go on The Deep Dive.


June Diane Raphael  00:57

Hi Jessica.


Jessica St. Clair  00:58

Hello, my friend, happy New Year? I know it’s where we’re recording this Deep Divers before the new year. But you’re hearing disclosure? […] different mental space than we are right now like, our listeners have never been like further apart from us.


June Diane Raphael  01:18

I wish I’m gonna say this. I wish I could bring you some new years. Some new year’s fresh start energy. But much like I keep thinking about that stupid movie The Martian that Dan made me watch where Matt Damon stuck on Mars, you know, and everyone’s down, you know on Earth, and he doesn’t know that they can see that him and that’s, I’m on Mars, you guys are on earth, and like it, there’s a delay.


Jessica St. Clair  01:46

There’s a delay, light years.


June Diane Raphael  01:49

The satellite comms are down. So it’s gonna take us another week into January for you to for you to get our fresh New Year energy. Today’s December for us in our time in Matt Damon’s time on Mars, it’s December 13 but because of holidays, this is what it is. This is how it goes so we didn’t want to not do an episode today. January 3rd but we are doing it in a different mental space than you all are, and I hope you’ll stay with us. Maybe it’s important to track back, you maybe haven’t set your intentions yet for the new year so like this, this can remind you of what was and what needs to change.


Jessica St. Clair  02:38

So much needs to change.


June Diane Raphael  02:43

Okay, Jess, I want to hear how you’re doing but I do have something very important to tell you.


Jessica St. Clair  02:49



June Diane Raphael  02:49

And I may be asking our listeners to to weigh in on this.


Jessica St. Clair  02:52



June Diane Raphael  02:53

You know, the Crest White Strips?


Jessica St. Clair  02:55



June Diane Raphael  02:56

Okay, have you ever used them?


Jessica St. Clair  02:58

No, because I use a professional whitening system that I got my brother for Christmas.


June Diane Raphael  03:02



Jessica St. Clair  03:03

BB was like, that’s the most offensive gift but it’s just I understand why that’s not offensive in my family, then you understand my family, got it.


June Diane Raphael  03:14

Cause he ever said I’m struggling with this?


Jessica St. Clair  03:16

No, I said your teeth look like a colonial soldier and I’m giving you a white strip system and he said, thanks.


June Diane Raphael  03:24

Great, so we have it like that.


Jessica St. Clair  03:28

We have it like that.


June Diane Raphael  03:29

So I will tell you I’m curious about this system, I you know, I drink so much coffee and it’s hard, you’re gonna, you’re gonna run into issues.


Jessica St. Clair  03:43

Yeah, you’re gonna get to the colonial state.


June Diane Raphael  03:45

Yeah but have you ever thought my teeth are like yellow?


Jessica St. Clair  03:49

Never, and you know, I’m very hard on teeth and so the truth is, is if you had very tiny teeth, we probably wouldn’t work together.


June Diane Raphael  03:57

It’s interesting, because I think I have childish teeth, though.


Jessica St. Clair  04:02

I disagree.


June Diane Raphael  04:02

Well, let me tell you so I was like I took on again, it sounds like a New Year’s resolution so it is sort of on topic, but I took this on on like December 10 where I was like, you know what, I’m gonna start working on this.


Jessica St. Clair  04:16

But you got to stop coffee while you’re working on it, that’s the problem.


June Diane Raphael  04:19

Well, I won’t.


Jessica St. Clair  04:20

Okay, well, then it won’t work. In fact, I think it only only makes the coffee deposit more.


June Diane Raphael  04:27

Okay, fine, then I won’t ever do it again but there’s nothing I will give up coffee, including my pregnancies.


Jessica St. Clair  04:36

That’s fine, Lila, surrogate mom who passed she had the most brilliantly white teeth. And she introduced me to when you go to the dentist, they give you a little mold. And you do the trays for two weeks and then you have perfect teeth and I did that and I it’s a bump. It’s a bump like no.


June Diane Raphael  04:56

I can’t drink coffee during it.


Jessica St. Clair  04:57

No you can’t, you have to get off coffee.


June Diane Raphael  04:59



Jessica St. Clair  04:59

So but you can do something and I am gonna give my brother the snow whitening system that honestly the only research I’ve done is that it came on Instagram.


June Diane Raphael  05:10

Well I’ve started to try to drink coffee.


Jessica St. Clair  05:13

In a straw? Did you try to drink your coffee through a straw? That’s what they suggest.


June Diane Raphael  05:18

Hot coffee through a straw like a hot cup of coffee in the morning. What I’ve started tried to start doing is placing the coffee behind the teeth. So like it it’s not easy, and I’ve had some real spills, but I’ve been trying to get the coffee to land behind the.


June Diane Raphael  05:37

I don’t know, I this seems like a fool’s errand. Listen, do what you can tell you about what happened to me.


June Diane Raphael  05:43

All right, and please Deep Divers please don’t ask me about how you don’t like my teeth and.


Jessica St. Clair  05:52

I was gonna say that no, and I also.


June Diane Raphael  05:54

You’re gonna surprise Jess, that’s fucking crazy, I know deep diver would ever said I also want to say deep diver but I just get scared because like people do say insane shit.


Jessica St. Clair  06:04

Okay, I’d like to say this to everybody listening. So many people don’t have what you would consider traditional smile or teeth and I find a gap in the tooth. I mean you are married to it. The Lauren Hutton love a sight the man even Meg Ryan gummy smile beyond say smile is a bit on the gummy side, like their eye it’s the warmth in that so I would I know there’s a lot of shame that goes into teeth actually and I want to just to table set that I appreciate your smile, whatever that is because it’s also economic, you know what people can afford in terms.


June Diane Raphael  06:50

That’s right.


Jessica St. Clair  06:51

Racism, reconstruction and all that. I just want you to know that like, your smile is fucking beautiful, and don’t you ever fucking hide it.


June Diane Raphael  07:00

Thank you, Jess, that’s a sweet well.


Jessica St. Clair  07:02

I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about deep out there.


June Diane Raphael  07:07

Oh, oh.


Jessica St. Clair  07:10

You should get your teeth white as hell. Just kidding.


June Diane Raphael  07:14

That message wasn’t I wasn’t included in that, I got it.


Jessica St. Clair  07:19

So I will tell you, I do think it’s important to bring that up because I’ve had teeth trauma. I’ve had major teeth trauma. Okay, my family, we come from a long line of troubled teeth.


June Diane Raphael  07:34

Yeah, my sister I hope I can tell her story, I won’t name which one it was it was but I remember a night Jessica. I was in high school. She was in college at that point and she’d come home from college for I think winter break, and you know that college winter break is long, somewhere during that time. I was downstairs in the kitchen table doing my homework. And she kept on coming downstairs and looking in the bathroom mirror.


Jessica St. Clair  08:05

Oh, no.


June Diane Raphael  08:05

And she’d go back and then she’d come down, then she’d go back. And I’m like, what is going on? And then she came over to me with terror in her terror and said I think my front tooth is bucking is what, bucking? Oh, God, it was and I sent out and I looked at it. And it did seem a little bit snuggled just a little bit, but it was hard to tell, and she’s now staring at me, and she’s like, you see it? And I was like, I don’t know what I see, I said let me just look she goes stop looking I’m like you asked me like it was a crazy moment. She goes it’s bucky, it’s bucking now, I then go to bed, I’m like, just leave it let it be.


Jessica St. Clair  08:57

Yeah, can’t do anything about it now.


June Diane Raphael  09:00

I wake up in the morning, she’s hasn’t slept.


Jessica St. Clair  09:02

Oh, no.


June Diane Raphael  09:04

And Jessica out, like, I know this is a visual medium, but it’s out like this. She can’t get her lip over. Okay, so I wake up in the morning, find your loved one like that is so upsetting. And I said, I know I don’t have the relationship with you and you’re like you and your brother cuz I was very compassionate and I was like, no, this is gonna get fixed. This is terrible, but it’s not staying like this and like let’s find out immediately. She’s a wreck and not only that, but I believe like this guy she was dating was coming to visit such tough timing, well, what we found out was that her gum above that tooth had been rotting. Okay, they then have to remove sorry, this is entirely get an implant. So she gets the implant and there’s so much discussion over like is the implant the same color as the rest of the teeth you know? It’s a fake implant and then something terrible happens. She goes back to college and she goes to like a you know those like blacklight parties with anything on you. It like becomes fluorescent. She walks in there smiling having a ball, and that one tooth lit up like the Chrysler. Oh and people are like what? And she’s dancing and smiling and then she sees a couple people looking right at it. And she ran the fuck out of there. Now my trauma so we have a history, you know, my dad had dentures when he was like 30 didn’t have real teeth. I think for as long as I knew, my mom’s side is pretty okay. But my dad’s side the Raphael side was a disaster. And I think you know this.


Jessica St. Clair  11:23

Yeah you had to get you didn’t lose your, you had all […] tiny, tiny little tick tacks.


June Diane Raphael  11:32

I had two wear it here babies that never came out and I didn’t see a dentist for I don’t know, six years oh, yeah, I see a dentist from the age of like 12 to I think 24 and I that’s not an exaggeration.


Jessica St. Clair  11:50

No, same with Dan, he was just like, cross your fingers and hope to die.


June Diane Raphael  11:57

It was truly you know, I look back on them. I’m like, you know, I had such a such love for my parents and they did the best they could but there are some gaps you know, that’s one of them. Okay, so anyway, what I have done this is what I just want to tell you and I’m sure I did it. Last night I put on a white strips, Chris Macross white strips and for whatever reason now because of the phase of my period I’m in I’m up late, I’m staying up late.


Jessica St. Clair  12:27

Yeah, that’s so strange.


June Diane Raphael  12:30

It’s weird, I like awaken alive at night, not in the morning but at night and so I put the white strips on at around one that’s and I’m like oh, by the time I fall asleep, oh rip them out and I even put a little like paper towel or tissue down by my I was like I’m just gonna rip them leave them here, well, I fell asleep that’s fine. Is it Jess because when I tell you my teeth are so sensitive like there’s a slight breeze and I’m like he’s [..]  I got bad news for the for the teeth industry is the things are getting over the counter and ain’t working.


Jessica St. Clair  13:15

But I actually feel a difference right now.


June Diane Raphael  13:18

Maybe they do look good they do look good. I don’t know I think that we have to do the professionals don’t worry this is not your teeth are gonna buck and fall out like it’s not I to me I go off label most things if it says 45 minutes I put him on for 12 hours you know I feel like more is more is more is my.


Jessica St. Clair  13:43

That’s what I thought but I’m definitely now like in Sensodyne territory where am I.


June Diane Raphael  13:48

No, no you’re not no because they’re so sensitive right now.


Jessica St. Clair  13:53

Give it a break but the other the trays you leave in the whole night and that’s like really professional I can’t believe we’re.


June Diane Raphael  14:00

The voting this is much time to your white strips, this is trying to build the audience do you think people care about your you’re right with so many new listeners too? Okay, well let me ask you Jessica it’s again it’s December 13 unfortunately, and how are you what’s on your mind? Oh, I can I can take us I’m refund over a year but.


Jessica St. Clair  14:26

I know you’re about you’re really my warm up crowd so that I can close them down and bum them out. Oh, we need to take a quick break but we will be right back with more in just a minute.


Jessica St. Clair  16:47

You know, June, I’m in the underworld.


June Diane Raphael  16:51

I know.


Jessica St. Clair  16:52

I’m fully in the underworld, and you know, I’m not ready to speak about it, obviously and I want it please understand my immediate family we are safe, everybody’s good. But I yeah, I got some shocking news and about a loved one and I’m just I’m absolutely in the underworld I got dragged under and when I say underworld, you know, we had a friend who was told that they were going to be in the underworld for a couple years astrologically, and it was true, but and I thought it was me, I’m the friend.


June Diane Raphael  17:29

Oh shit, that was you. Oh, shit that was you.


Jessica St. Clair  17:33

I’m like, this is sounding awfully familiar.


June Diane Raphael  17:35

Yeah, it was a different friend.


Jessica St. Clair  17:37

No, that was me, and I was in the underworld, a friend was you until she predicted that I would escape. And I did eventually. But to the day I was, you know, and I don’t have those those data points right now but I will tell you that I was you know, we were listening to this week, the episode that aired. And last week, I said that when I pulled into the car or the car into the garage, I felt happy and then I got worried something was gonna happen and then it did. And I so that was really weird. The universe was telling me something was coming. Or just it comes, you know, it comes. And so I want to talk just briefly, I want to want to put my feelers out to the Deep Divers out there without being the Grinch who stole Christmas to say that the holidays are tough, when really sad things are happening. And I’m finding it difficult to be amongst the people now, you know, there was a very intimate Christmas party that was held and I told everyone I walked in and I was like, first of all, I was like, I don’t know, if I you know, Dan, of course was like, I don’t think you’re in a state to go. But sometimes when you have bad news happening around you, you’re like, I can’t be alone with my thoughts, I can’t I need to either be at Target, or be at your house or be somewhere around people. That’s why the nighttime is hard, so I was like, no, no, I want to go I also really wanted to go and see everyone. So I put on some strange outfit that looked like I was an out of work town to door. It looked like an out of work temp, like I forgot that you’re supposed to wear tights, on on the holiday parties, everyone’s looking great. And I first person I see is someone I don’t know and I just thought, oh, this won’t stand. So I went right over to the bar, I said where does what you got on the bubbly side. Now this gentleman seemed like very disturbed by my energy because I wasn’t making mary I actually grabbed our friend’s shoulder and I said, where is the alcohol? Where’s the chocolate? And she said, oh, well the bars over here so it’s like give me something bubbly, and he was like, okay, well, here’s the champagne, you know, and I was like, I was like, okay, I don’t know, I gotta down this so I downed that, and then I saw a chaise lounge, and I thought I’m gonna receive people on the chaise. Okay, it’s like grab a seat Kulap, comes in looking fresh as a daisy cute outfit little white, T shirt I love to post a picture of her holiday outfit, because it was, it was a gold outstand long skirt, short cropped T gold, chunky necklace and what was she wearing on top? Was it a leather jacket might have been I didn’t see I only saw her with the white t. That’s because I forced her she had not been in the party more than 10 seconds. She didn’t even have a drink. And I said, I need to speak with you on the chaise and I grabbed her. And you know, Ku is I have to take a minute. I gotta take a minute to talk about Ku, Ku is a special special special soul, and she is a warm pillow her boobs are warm pillows to rest on and to lie on. She is a soft landing. That’s what she is as a human. She’s a human sight.


June Diane Raphael  21:16

She can hold the depth of experience.


Jessica St. Clair  21:22

Not everybody can. She can certainly not at the beginning of a festive holiday party.


June Diane Raphael  21:28

But she’ll drop in Jessica easy as pie. Ku is one of the most emotionally like flexible people I’ve ever met.


Jessica St. Clair  21:38

It’s truly wild. So I you know, so I had to ask her some things because she’s also the closest we have to a witch.


June Diane Raphael  21:48

Yes, that’s right.


Jessica St. Clair  21:49

Because she’s got one foot out the other world cards. So I had had some cues about that some cues about some like presented some.


June Diane Raphael  21:58

Tarot cards on her like it’s.


Jessica St. Clair  22:00

She’s usually travels around with them. Well, I don’t think there were pockets in the skirt she had. So then you come in. So then I was like, Ku you can go on your way, I got my question. You know, and then a couple people can grab Danielle she’s looking so fresh, you know, little strapless, you know, pleather nah, she brought some real like kind of Florida, Florida sex to the love. So that she’s over there and you know, I could tell she really wanted to make some mary too. And she didn’t necessarily want to be on the chaise, but she had to be.


June Diane Raphael  22:34

Of course, we everybody has to do their time on the chaise, who’s called to the chaise.


Jessica St. Clair  22:39

Right and then you teeter over, and you’re like, what do you do it? I’ve been no, no mention of my outfit. Every person you’ve mentioned gets a little a little parenthetical. You had a great little body con, was that navy or black?


June Diane Raphael  22:55

Yeah, it was Navy.


Jessica St. Clair  22:57

With the black stockings and those hot, hot, hot hot boots that in the academy you wore during your posing video and I should have bought them and I’ve been holding on them, and now of course I’m gonna buy them today because I should have been wearing them. So I spent most of the night just like looking at your boots and wishing that I had them on. But you look hot, you looked hot and things to eat. So you have to no, I thought our listeners would understand that was a given but you teetered over and you said hey, I’ve been at this party for 25 minutes and I people are saying you’re receiving people on the chaise and talking about death. And I said, that’s right. And then you said okay, and I could tell you were like, you know what? I don’t I think you’ve you knew that I’d done enough time on the chaise. So you said let’s move into the living room the land of the living I just want to explain to our listeners that we’re this chaise’ was in a hallway it was like it’s it wasn’t a pass through it was at a place you sit and then observe the party on either side. It and also my main concern to be quiet is how brightly lit it was in that area. It was the lighting was hurting me and I needed to get us to better lighting and so when your by a tree no one’s looks better than than by a tree the fireplace was on let’s just get, will you say we go to the living room. That’s where the living is, you are in the shades of depth over here and I and I said to you don’t really want to go and you go I think we’re gonna go see your hurted me over there. And you plop me on an ottoman. Now when I walk into the room, because an ottoman wasn’t so different from the shape. It’s like, I wasn’t gonna dare put you on a couch. I was like, it’s still giving chaise energy, and yet it couldn’t have been more different. I walk into this room and it might as well have been the late 1800s a smoking a smoking men’s lounge was all men, and I turn to you and I go, did you see what I didn’t want to leave this chaise? But I looked around I did a lap and you are gone.


June Diane Raphael  25:13

Yes. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone.


Jessica St. Clair  25:15

And you didn’t say goodbye to anyone. And I think I did hear you say bye but never would I ever assumed that by I just like dropped I was like by walk out onto the street, burst out sobbing, cried for maybe 45 minutes, but it was okay because I needed to. But now at this point, probably neighbors thought Is there a coyote and danger hurt another hurt animal? And I think I cried out all the champagne because I felt perfectly sober by the time it was time to drive. Yeah, so that’s what happened after that and it was it was what was meant to happen and where I’m at is like, the tears, I you know, you realize as a mother, you don’t really cry very much because nobody really leaves you alone and there’s so much to do who has time to cry, you know, but then sometimes sometimes you have to cry, you got to sob your brains out, and it’s very tiring. Now, Alexis, my makeup artist did say that she heard that you lose weight. You’re crying.


June Diane Raphael  26:17

Water weight, at least I’m sure, so hydrated.


Jessica St. Clair  26:22

But I think that the amount of grief and, and pre grief, sometimes you feel about things is equal to how much you love somebody. And it’s the price you pay and of course you would never have it any other way. I’m sure there’s a Beatle song that has that exactly or I can a much better better way to say it, but there’s no getting around it. There’s no getting over it or around it. You got to feel it now particularly difficult to feel during the old holidays.


June Diane Raphael  27:01

I think it’s you know, I think it’s okay to also just let the holidays go a little bit.


Jessica St. Clair  27:09

There, they have to go, they gotta gotta go. I mean, I’m gonna make it right for BB, and this time on January 3rd, they are gone.


June Diane Raphael  27:18

And good riddance, you know.


Jessica St. Clair  27:19

So in the episode where we are in our time, you know, in our time jump, they are gone and great that they’re gone.


June Diane Raphael  27:28

Yeah, and to know that, you know, as my mother said, once in a very tough time in my life. I said, What’s going to happen? And she said, I don’t know but it is not going to stay like this. And it’s so difficult because the brain plays tricks on you, they think the brain is so fucking stupid it thinks wherever it is, is where it will live forever, it’s like well, I guess we’re just gonna be crying and targets forever. Get used to it you know, get a waterproof mascara, don’t put on any makeup, I’d sent a picture of the way I showed up to work yesterday with a boss, there was someone there it was, spooky season to see how I dressed, I dressed crazy. But it is what it is, I’m so upset about what you’re going through. Yeah, I don’t like it, it’s brutal no, no, I like it.


Jessica St. Clair  28:26

But we all this is a human experience.


June Diane Raphael  28:29

It is but it doesn’t, it doesn’t make it easier you know, and I do think that it’s really important that what you do right now. And walking through the world is what you want to do.


Jessica St. Clair  28:47



June Diane Raphael  28:47

And yeah, have that space from all of your loved ones to just like, show up, don’t show up.


Jessica St. Clair  28:56

Show up, sing and play and it’s yeah.


June Diane Raphael  29:00

Great, you know, that’s great. There’s I mean, I will tell you like when I was walking through the underworld, I couldn’t see people really. But I also understand the instinct to see people it’s just not what I had. I like went inside. And a part of it is is because of the lack of energy. Yes, I’m very tired.


June Diane Raphael  29:31



Jessica St. Clair  29:31

I’m so tired, I have never felt this fatigue. It’s a bone tired you’re being forced to reckon with such a scary possibility that you can’t I mean, after I came out of it, and started to head back into the land of the living I and I say immediately I mean immediately wrote a book.


Jessica St. Clair  29:50

And started a company.


June Diane Raphael  30:04



Jessica St. Clair  30:06

Because I had everything I overcorrected in some ways, but I had, I was so shocked to have the energy to do anything. I can’t even like, do a dish. That’s what I’m saying, and it’s okay. Yeah, I’m just looking at this dish, and I’m just like, I can’t do this. I can’t do this dish. But I do again, Deep Dives, please don’t worry, Dan, and BB we’re all safe, safe and sound safe and sound do not worry. But yeah, I wanted, I did want to just send out a, a light a lighthouse lamp to our deep divers who may be tired with me and in this moment, where fucking Paul McCartney is like, you know, simply have it and you’re like, not me, not me, and it’s okay. And also, I was sitting real pretty, because, you know, I, obviously I had my dark time in the underworld a couple, you know, eight years ago, and then things have been pretty good, and you know, a couple of my friends going through some really trying times with their parents. And I don’t mean to say I was sitting pretty, but I was, you know, it’s nothing better than receiving and being supportive to other people having horrible because you’re just yeah, now you’re like Casey said that during the pandemic, she was like, at a certain point, she was like, I just feel like, okay, I learned my lessons can can I now go back? Can I apply them at all or I still have to continually be in this knowing when I got a diploma in this, like, I’m ready but what’s so interesting too, about the different roles we take on in caretaking is actually there’s more than two roles, you know, and every experience is different. Every experience calls on different sides of you and unfortunately the side of me that is so comfortable, my fix it side. I’m so good at fixing, I mean, I work my way into its doctor’s office, you would never even believe how I get these numbers. I’m having assistants break Hippocratic Oath, you know, I’m just HIPAA, I’m like, what’s HIPAA? You know, at the end of the day, after all, yeah, but there are certain things which is only what we decided is isn’t it a construct? Like gender that day, like we have to uphold it to make it mean anything. But every season in our lives, I believe calls on ourselves to evolve our souls evolution. And this one is is causing is asking me to evolve in a very different way. And I can’t say I enjoy it.


June Diane Raphael  33:02

You know what Jess, I think that’s a beautiful way to look at it. But also, I think it’s okay to just sit in this fucking sucks.


Jessica St. Clair  33:12

Yeah, yeah, it sucks, and we don’t have to make meaning of it. No, I know, and yet, the living has to happen and so how do we force ourselves to do some things like clean a dish? Well, for me, and I was thinking about you June because I know Veep was your touchstone Veep was your touchstone. I think we might have shared that with Julia. The olden days is my touchstone. And so always has been revisiting bridgerton with new eyes. I am watching their new season coming out. Who knows when that will come out but I’m revisiting.


June Diane Raphael  33:50

So you’re back yeah.


Jessica St. Clair  33:52

As if I’ve never seen it, that’s the other thing, my brain isn’t working. So like, it’s like, oh, whatever, this kind of new is new. The Gilded Age, you know, not a well written show, but made a discovery that Casey is from the Gilded Age, I didn’t realize it time of barons of the industry barons and.


June Diane Raphael  34:13

Oh, interesting, that makes sense.


Jessica St. Clair  34:15

One 100 she loves it too. But then like.


June Diane Raphael  34:18

I don’t got Christine Baranski in the Gilded Age.


Jessica St. Clair  34:21

Boy, oh, boy, no, you gotta listen. So they’re doing great work, they’re doing great. Yeah, it’s it is a it is a totally like, you know, a confection, stupid confection, you got Nathan Lane playing some socially. I mean, you know, but we have our touchstones and also my other touchstone and again, I’ve been talking way too much during this podcast, but I guess it is my podcast, I can talk as much as I want.


June Diane Raphael  34:49

You absolutely can.


Jessica St. Clair  34:52

But what are our shutting up for? I don’t know, you just board us about your white strips for 45 as best that I was trying to get keep it light first. I know you knew I was going to take. Time for another break more deep dive when we return


Jessica St. Clair  35:29

What prevents us from fully being consumed by the underworld because even Persephone, she knew she had to last for six months down there with that bad man, Hades, and she knew she’d come back up and be with her mom, you know, six months later, but how did she get through it down there? Maybe with her version of Netflix, whatever that was. They don’t tell her story.


June Diane Raphael  35:56

Yeah, and maybe she’s just drawing on the walls and then interpreting her own scratches but I’m what I promise you is there’s some level of dissociation going on and you know, I’ve always said this. It’s I think, di, yeah, dissociating can often get a bad rap and I think it’s an inquiry Dibley useful tool when you are going through something that requires time to go by the wait and see the let’s take the next right step, but let’s see if that works, it’s agonizing shit. And there are there is absolutely something to be said for programs podcasts, maybe it’s this one for some I’m sure it is for hope it is I hope it is hope it is. It’s I know it is actually and I know how to skip me it is too because people write that to us all the time sitting bedside with loved ones and listening to you know, it is it is not that you’re not allowing yourself to feel no, it’s you’re allowing some time to grow by. And time is the only way we get to anything good or bad. It’s like we have to let some grass grow here. And sometimes the best way to do that is to mentally check out. I don’t want you washing that dish unless gilded is on an iPad.


Jessica St. Clair  37:24

That’s what I’m doing.


June Diane Raphael  37:25

It’s like I had cast your podcast friends.


Jessica St. Clair  37:27

I have to carry gilded with me from room.


June Diane Raphael  37:32

And I’m doing the same with slow horses on Apple.


Jessica St. Clair  37:35

The fuck is slow horses that for me. I’m sure, I don’t know what that is it sounds scary and I wanted to talk about don’t tell me about it. I can’t take it.


June Diane Raphael  37:43

It’s not scary, can I just tell you something? Just one line. It’s a spy show in which Gary Oldman is farting all the time. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s absolutely disgusting and it’s the one it is actually the one that I don’t like about the show.


Jessica St. Clair  38:07



June Diane Raphael  38:08

It’s so strange, his character supposed to be like disgusting, but I’m like, boy, they’ve taken x right now I don’t want this and I want it maybe it’s not for you right now. I would say I would love to turn you on to one of the shows that that time sort of melts in? Yeah, that you boys at a background show. It’s a show you’re folding your laundry. And they’re 17 seasons so you can really get together and sink into it. Sister Wives? No, that’s too tough to understand.


Jessica St. Clair  38:43

All of my friends have different likes than me except for Danielle and she straddles you and me us straddles both worlds. But why can’t you just love it and Ray No, this is where I want. I want my people in badasses and I want that. I want the biggest drama for them to be that it’s wedding season. It’s the season. They need to fall in love with somebody they need to get to the moon east to get their frogs for that night’s ball. And maybe, you know, maybe he wants to fuck you but he’s supposed to marry your sister. You know and you resolve that because your sister ends up with.


June Diane Raphael  39:25

Okay, this is this is so specific but listeners if you have a moment if you could DM Jessica or me some recommendations.


Jessica St. Clair  39:35

For RT shows for our tastes, be different DMS different DMS.


June Diane Raphael  39:41

I’m good on mine, I don’t need any racks because I do a special but Jessica does and she needs them now. I will say I’ve developed a special interest in spies.


Jessica St. Clair  39:53

I like us I do like spies, you know nothing that’s it or horses is spies.


June Diane Raphael  39:59

I don’t want any disgusting people. I want Spies Like when Brad Pitt had to pretend he was married to hot hot Marion Cotillard and then they had to flog in a sandstorm.


Jessica St. Clair  40:12

They had a fucking a sandstorm, that was fucking hot. I’m sorry fucking in a sandstorm is hot. Pretending, no way around it, I can’t believe I forgot about that snow watch that movie again. No, it’s sad at the end, because she has to watch her. Very sad, she has to get killed but he has to.


June Diane Raphael  40:35

But boy did she live?


Jessica St. Clair  40:37

She did and it’s hot to show up and go my assignment is to fake get fake be married to Brad Pitt, great. That’s a pretty good assignment. I totally forgot about that scene.


June Diane Raphael  40:56

They’re they’re in a car and the sounds going in there.


Jessica St. Clair  40:59

Yeah, there’s the first time they fuck is in that frickin sandstorm. And I’m sorry, season two of bridgerton they don’t kiss until the finale.


June Diane Raphael  41:12



Jessica St. Clair  41:13

But does he come right up to her in the library at night and say the things that I could show you?


June Diane Raphael  41:19

Oh the things that I could show you okay.


Jessica St. Clair  41:35

Listen, and I also want to say something that has been giving me great joy is actually in the midst of all this we’re filming all of this holiday content for the Academy, and we made some reads with Tiffany Gabriel’s of the Sweetser life and that was fucking fun and I now I see that on my door. And then we had a we had a hilarious cocktail making class with Paul Scheer. He’s so.


June Diane Raphael  42:01

He was so mad during.


Jessica St. Clair  42:02

He’s not disrespectful to us during these things and like I thought, oh, bring your holiday cheer, you know, he saves his best entertainers self you know, my father just can’t stop saying Paul’s an entertainer Paul’s one, they don’t make them like Paul anymore. Paul’s like the Rat Pack I mean, I don’t okay, I love him to bring some of that. But he’s so angry at us. And I so it is so mad at us. And all I said was like, hey, math isn’t really our thing so can you just go slow on the fractions you know, have three party show. Alright, so one part and he’s just idiots. It’s one and a half, you know, so know that that’s there but at the end of the day, I found a signature drink which is an Aperol Spritz.


June Diane Raphael  42:49

And so excited that you learned about aprox versus because I have them almost every night. But you know what’s so interesting is yeah, he’s very irritated about like filming with us and.


Jessica St. Clair  43:03

But yeah, he wants to and then and then there’s he just so mad because I did a couple of filler segments with them about how he keeps his snacks and his name then they haven’t well, no, I will air them at some point, but like okay, but like his he.


June Diane Raphael  43:23

Was wearing shorts.


Jessica St. Clair  43:24

I know that’s why I put the company look like Rodney Dangerfield but but here’s the thing I did have him showing me his battery suitcase will be released at some point like as a bonus but I’m not gonna It’s like this is the holidays like this is prime content. We’ve had a lot of annual people gifting annual memberships to each other best friends buying them you know? beautiful gift okay, a lot of people asking their boyfriends their partners as a stocking stuffer. You know, they want an annual membership.


June Diane Raphael  43:55

Again, the holidays are behind us in this moment.


Jessica St. Clair  43:59

I understand that but also what’s happening I just want to fast forward what’s happening right now in the academy is we are getting our shit together because our organizer Jordan Santoro turns my garage into a Chucky Cheese and we film that transformation. We are instead of dry gerrant January we are actually leaning more into drinking and we are going to learn.


June Diane Raphael  44:28

Wet January over here.


Jessica St. Clair  44:29

Wet January and we are actually going to Molly our friend who will be on the pod her husband has to kill a lion and he’s going to show us a couple of different drinks, including one he made for my coastal grandmother lunch and I had once called the white turtleneck that involves women cello and boy was that taste. Boy was that his called the white turtleneck. Meant to be sipped, said meant to be sipped in an adirondack chair.


June Diane Raphael  45:01

I love that.


Jessica St. Clair  45:03

And we’re going to learn some some vegetarian recipes anyway. There’s a lot coming up and it’s exciting. Now I will say.


June Diane Raphael  45:12

I think that although Paul was really mad that maybe do you know maybe he was giving that same kind of Bon Jovi energy. And maybe it’s because I will tell you when I was in the underworld, I actually could not handle cheerful people. And there are people in my life that fell away, because I found cheerfulness and sort of.


Jessica St. Clair  45:42

Bond Vivaan energy so yeah.


June Diane Raphael  45:44

Yeah, just like sweetness to be. So saccharin and so I needed to be around people who were like, keep it real, this, let’s keep it real. And so, I although I was I was horrified that Paul was so angry with one of my best friends, you know, and filmed it for prosperity. I also was like, well, he was in the authentic space he was in at that moment, you know, what can I say are.


Jessica St. Clair  46:15

So mad that a Spode, you know, got put into the dishwasher. I’m like, these are these are like resentments you need to let go okay.


June Diane Raphael  46:24

And that’s, and he’s not going to I know, I talked about driving and driving into my planter. And I drove into that planter, probably a month ago. He just noticed it this morning, because two of the sides of the planter fell off.


Jessica St. Clair  46:41

I am that planter.


June Diane Raphael  46:46

But you know what, Jess I was proud of myself for how I reacted because he was like, Oh, my God, the planter fell apart. And I was like, I did it and I did it two months ago. And I never told you because I didn’t want to tell you. And he was like, Oh, my God, like, that was so expensive. And I was like, yep, I did it.


Jessica St. Clair  47:08

Well, yeah, I didn’t like it, what do you get defensive, don’t tell me, these are facts.


June Diane Raphael  47:12

These are facts but I’m not going to sit here and say like, I’m so sorry. Because I don’t have it in me, I’m sorry about a lot of things right now, the planter really isn’t one of them.


Jessica St. Clair  47:26

And then and then I hope he drafted off your energy which is like well that’s a dry well, I’m not gonna get an I’m sorry, you know from this person and just like when he showed up and his last time which we will still never know where was Paul? Just said, we’re not gonna know in 2024 years it out that we need to steroids it’s like that doesn’t solve where you were. right?


June Diane Raphael  47:58

But I gave him the grace of just like, and to be honest, I didn’t want to know. I still don’t really want to know.


Jessica St. Clair  48:04

Secret, so you talk about those spies. Who are fucking in that sandstorm, there are a lot of secrets between them. And I guess what? And guess what? Kept it hot. Keep it sexy keep it cute. That is our mantra for 2024, keep it sexy, keep it cute.


June Diane Raphael  48:26

And, you know, be sad when you need to be for real for real.


Jessica St. Clair  48:31

For real and diverse.


June Diane Raphael  48:34

Yeah, I just want to wish everyone God I don’t know if I can say Happy New Year.


Jessica St. Clair  48:40

I know, I yeah.


June Diane Raphael  48:42

I want to wish everyone a new year.


Jessica St. Clair  48:46

We wouldn’t say it’s the new year, and nobody is.


June Diane Raphael  48:52

It is new, that’s positive. It is a new year.


Jessica St. Clair  48:56

Yes, and please note, this ain’t gonna be coming like bummer bummer podcast for sure. But I’ve had some laughs too. There are laughs to be had.


June Diane Raphael  49:06

Oh, the best laughs are in the underworld actually. The absurdity of the underworld and just the insanity of it is.


Jessica St. Clair  49:17

Yeah, come so anyway, we love you guys so much, thanks for letting us keep it hashtag authentic and we love you.


June Diane Raphael  49:24

I’ll see you next week.


Jessica St. Clair  49:26

Bye guys.


June Diane Raphael  49:27

Bye Jess.


CREDITS  50:03

There is more of The Deep Dive with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content, like our listener questions where we answer questions from you like, just because I’m a Scorpio Does that mean I’m a monster? And the answer is yes. I’ve got tons of Scorpio too and we need to accept it. Send your questions to the deep dive And subscribe now in Apple podcasts. The DEEP DIVE is produced by Lemonada media Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael. Our producers Ana Cecilia, our associate producer is Dani Matias and ours supervising producer is Jamela Zarha Williams. Our engineer is Johnny Vince Evans. Additional Lemonada support from Steve Nelson, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Special thanks to Anne Geddes for a cover art and Lennon Parham. For her sweet sweet vocals. The best way to support us is to rate and review. Follow The Deep Dive wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.


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