An Unhinged Shower with Liam Gareau

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This week on the pod, the Aunties debrief about their IRL hang – with white husbands in tow – in Santa Barbara. They spill some serious tea, including the time they both got dumped by the husbands in question (when they weren’t yet husbands). Then, they’re joined by Liam Gareau, host of the pop culture podcast “Tell Me Everything.” It’s unhinged shower routines part 3, as Liam walks us through how he uses his $12 bar of soap and growing Aesop collection.

Need skincare recs, boyfriend advice, or anything in between? Ask the Aunties anything! Drop us a message on Speakpipe.

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Liam Gareau, SuChin Pak, Kulap Vilaysack

Kulap Vilaysack  00:10

Carter’s welcome back to Add To Cart, I’m Kulap Vilaysack.


SuChin Pak  00:14

And I’m SuChin Pak.


Kulap Vilaysack  00:16

Now Su, I preview this in our newsletter and by the way Carter’s if you’re not signed up and subscribe to our newsletter, I mean, what what is going on?


Kulap Vilaysack  00:25

Well, I mean, it’s, it’s free.


Kulap Vilaysack  00:28

So free, we do it once a month.


SuChin Pak  00:30

It’s length, we do it once a month. We’re not bothering anybody.


Kulap Vilaysack  00:33

We don’t clutter your inbox we come in with high level, yeah, high key insights in our frenetic and maniacal lives. That’s right. It’s a service, now in the last one that we did at the end of the month, I talked a little bit about our double date. In Santa Barbara, I just gave people sort of a preview, but now I want us to talk about it on the show prime it was a momentous occasion where both our white husbands met.


SuChin Pak  01:06

And you met my white husband for the first time.


Kulap Vilaysack  01:08

That’s true, now Mike and I of course have had separate independent of SuChin phone calls and correspondence but to meet him in person. Oh, wow glory be.


SuChin Pak  01:19

And I’m totally fine with it. But some other people may be horrified that I’m married to someone who is completely comfortable reaching out to my friends just on his own and having questions, invitations being sent. And I’m fine with it. But some people I realize that could be triggering.


Kulap Vilaysack  01:43

I know I find that you sometimes ask him. Are you sure that’s okay?


SuChin Pak  01:48

Well, yes, my friends. Yes, I find out that he that he has reached out. And I just want to make sure because not everybody likes that flavor of ice cream. And I’ll reach out to my friend and be like, hey, I heard my husband asked you to read this thing article. If you’re okay with it that’s cool, but just making sure and by the way, I’ve always gotten we’re fine.


Kulap Vilaysack  02:14

He’s a charming man. He’s a charming and clever man. So Scott and I we were going to Santa Barbara just for some R&R. Scott needed a break and who better to give him that break into accompany him but his wife globulus.


SuChin Pak  02:29

I mean, the rom com continues. The fact that you two, I was like I’m sorry, your art is […]


Kulap Vilaysack  02:37



SuChin Pak  02:38

After all these years, you two are still choosing to spend time alone together. That alone, we can just stop the episode. I mean, because I’ve gotten off the train.


Kulap Vilaysack  02:55

Well, the first thing we had to do once we reach Santa Barbara was to have lunch with SuChin and Mike Fender.


SuChin Pak  03:02

Came in separate cars, that’s how far.


Kulap Vilaysack  03:04

Separate cars yeah, that’s the counterpoint. There’s the counterpoint.


SuChin Pak  03:10

They are arriving together. And spending more time together. Mike and I are arriving for a one hour lunch in two different cars and leaving in two different cars at different times going to different destinations.


Kulap Vilaysack  03:26

Well what is revealed to me at the top of we’re waiting for Mike and we’re waiting for our table. By the way, just paint a scene we’re at a restaurant right at the beach. Right on the water. Mike comes driving up in Van life in his van life. And Su reveals that it is his only mode of transportation. He has sold his car. And I know because he’s put so much so much time and energy into this van. But it is what he tools around Santa Barbara with SuChin is […]


SuChin Pak  04:01

Correct, I mean, he basically drives the kitchen to Whole Foods every day. He could theoretically take his groceries from the grocery store and make a stew in the parking lot having never left the premise and probably could, if you wanted to even get rid of the meal on the other end digested properly and go ahead and put it in the poop chute having never left the premise.


Kulap Vilaysack  04:26

We also know Midland we know what you’re talking about.


SuChin Pak  04:29

I can’t just poopoo on it all the time.


Kulap Vilaysack  04:33

No, because you can poopoo in it though if you want.


SuChin Pak  04:38

That’s right baguette and target baby disaster at Japanese toilet but the thought that I could at any point from just going from my house to Whole Foods decide that I have to have a nap right now, right now and I can just jump in the back into a queen sized latex bed with my bean pillow and my quince Organic cotton blanket. I had to tell you good, almost madness.


Kulap Vilaysack  05:10

Just almost. So now we’re seated. We’re ordering, we’re just having chit chat. It’s really it’s it was so fun it was.


SuChin Pak  05:19

I don’t I blacked out through the whole thing. I have no idea what happened. I had zero oxygen intake. I just held my breath for an hour and a half.


Kulap Vilaysack  05:29

Okay, was it because this was sort of the sort of a follow up to an episode from earlier in the year. Was there any sort of social anxiety with this lunch at all? So that’s not why you blacked out? Oh it is?


SuChin Pak  05:42

It is, I mean, it’s that and so much more, it is the definition of social anxiety. It is the definition of like, know everything about it was like I just my adrenals might so tired adrenals were pumping out so much adrenaline. I don’t know, I was gonna say the wrong thing, he was gonna say the wrong thing, we were gonna say the wrong thing together, showing up in different vans and cars. And it’s just like, I don’t know, I don’t know, I mean, I think I don’t care about you, you know us but I was just like, Oh my God, Scott’s gonna think we’re so fucking weird. We’re so weird, we’re not made for public consumption, the individual and then together it’s so much worse. It’s so much worse. We do not go to things together. Really hardly ever, really very rare are we at something together.


Kulap Vilaysack  06:44

I am, my cheeks are so like exhausted right now talking about being suspended like.


SuChin Pak  06:52

So annoyed by my public persona. I’m so stressed out about his it just doesn’t work. Most of the time. were arriving separately. We have a little overlap. And then we’re arrived, we’re leaving at different.


Kulap Vilaysack  07:08

Almost like two passing ships.


SuChin Pak  07:10



Kulap Vilaysack  07:11

That live with one another. Meanwhile, the waiter was like, what would you like to drink? I was like, a Bloody Mary. With all the fixins and what arrives SuChin?


SuChin Pak  07:23

A salad.


Kulap Vilaysack  07:25

It was a salad, it was well, but also with protein.


SuChin Pak  07:29

Was there shrimp?


Kulap Vilaysack  07:30

Yes, that’s right. A jumbo shrimp. And one long slice of bacon.


SuChin Pak  07:38

Was there was shrimp? Giant full size of bacon, a giant stalk of celery. It wasn’t like it was like yes. But then I’m saying and what else was in there?


Kulap Vilaysack  07:50

Well, there was it. There was a skewer of various pickled vegetables including a long bean.


SuChin Pak  08:00

By the way,


Kulap Vilaysack  08:02

Santa Barbara baby. The I would want this because.


SuChin Pak  08:08

Yeah, salad it’s a soup stew […] He said it was a good spot yeah, and I was like, that’s exactly I love gazpacho. If I drank that would be my drink. It’s shit like that, that I have to keep together. Which is why I didn’t take a breath because I’m looking at that being like, just my brain is exploding. Like, what the fuck is that? I only want to talk about that drink for an hour and a half. But I know I can’t so like I fixate, and I took so much energy to try to like make more conversation when all I want to talk about was what came out was a green bean and he can strip in your drink. This is the kind of stuff that like in social settings. I have a really hard time something will set me off. And yeah, all I want to chew on is that bone.


Kulap Vilaysack  09:08

You want to fixate on that yeah, fix yeah.


SuChin Pak  09:10

And you can’t do that.


Kulap Vilaysack  09:11

Oh, yeah, probably no.


SuChin Pak  09:13

No, you need to banter you need to engage. You can’t fixate,


Kulap Vilaysack  09:19

But we did banter, we didn’t engage and we talked about a lot of stuff we talked together. We talked about our parents, we talked about the kids we talked about and just very stuff but what I really enjoyed is we landed we got into origin stories, not only sort of origin stories of our relationships, but also I hadn’t realized or I had forgotten that both myself and Ms SuChin Pak or brutally broken up with.


SuChin Pak  09:52

Dumped by arson was.


Kulap Vilaysack  09:54

Husband, are […] husbands.


SuChin Pak  09:56

Correct, oh, how sweet is revenge. When it’s, when it’s for a lifetime.


Kulap Vilaysack  10:03

Well, it’s that making them think that they won. But that was just a battle baby the war.


SuChin Pak  10:09

Knew the war is ours. As we ride a stride, no saddle war horses into the night.


Kulap Vilaysack  10:21

Can I like butcher the story? […] Both SuChin  and Mike were working at Viacom she at MTV.


SuChin Pak  10:31

Well, we were 25, so let’s set that to that table.


Kulap Vilaysack  10:35

SuChin is living in New York. She’s having a bicoastal relationship with Michael Bender. Her intention for the weekend was she’s there to work but also like where’s she gonna stay? She’s gonna stay.


SuChin Pak  10:45

With my boyfriend’s house, yes.


Kulap Vilaysack  10:47

That’s right. Micah meets her for lunch across the street from the work.


SuChin Pak  10:55

Which is a?


Kulap Vilaysack  10:57

Quiznos, it’s a Quiznos.


SuChin Pak  11:00

Right on Colorado Boulevard, six lanes of traffic.


Kulap Vilaysack  11:05

She arrives in a beautiful yellow dress and he was upset about that just because you look so lovely. She was there with your suitcase unawares yeah unawares.


SuChin Pak  11:17

Rolling like Little Miss Daisy.


Kulap Vilaysack  11:19

No idea they get their sandwiches they sit […]


SuChin Pak  11:25

Order he had just he his sandwich I believe has been eaten there were crumbs of a sandwich in front of him so he.


Kulap Vilaysack  11:32

Oh god.


SuChin Pak  11:33

My cookies fed him yeah, he fed himself before he decided to butcher my dreams gone again, you guys nobody’s crying because of the revenge of a lifetime. As we all we all know the ending. So no, we know the ending for this lady.


Kulap Vilaysack  11:55

Well, it’s just tough. He knew who’s gonna break up with you that was a sandwich a Quiznos he decides that it’s going to be Quiznos across the street from Viacom.


SuChin Pak  12:05

Yeah, because he could just walk across the street no effort.


Kulap Vilaysack  12:09

He only is a little bit taken off guard by how pretty you look like in a yellow dress but then proceeds to launch in how does he how does he do it? So he just basically says like oh you won’t be staying with me is that.


SuChin Pak  12:23

And I said I’m sorry, why? Because I don’t want you. Sorry I don’t want me were at Quiznos I don’t want to be here either baby no I don’t want you in my life. Oh I do remember be I think I was so jet lagged surprised shocked I do remember it being very like me being like asking questions like, are you sure? Like yeah, like I don’t remember there was no like big crying scene it was very Quiznos.


Kulap Vilaysack  13:08

Yeah it is it’s hard to get past Quiznos.


SuChin Pak  13:11

Yeah just get it was really hard to get past the Quiznos and then the the just the the humbling the humbling phone call I had to make in the car to production management.


Kulap Vilaysack  13:23

Yeah, you know, I said I didn’t need a hotel. And I was like gonna stay with my boyfriend, turns out.


SuChin Pak  13:32

I am gonna need a room for one.


Kulap Vilaysack  13:36

Do we think just none of just one room key.


SuChin Pak  13:40

Just one room key, single bed for one.


Kulap Vilaysack  13:44

Yeah, and I now need to now.


SuChin Pak  13:49

Pretty much ready to check in at any point from now till whenever.


Kulap Vilaysack  13:53

Ready to go.


SuChin Pak  13:55

Yep, ready to go suitcase here in Paktia.


Kulap Vilaysack  13:59

Please text my Nokia, I am 25 years old.


SuChin Pak  14:08

Yeah, that’s basically how that was was.


Kulap Vilaysack  14:11

Yeah, they’re together never been to […] No, never been to a Quiznos.


Kulap Vilaysack  14:17

It was really fun though Su, you truly don’t remember a single thing do you? Do you remember what I wore? I thought.


SuChin Pak  14:32

Of course I remember, when you were fishing. I mean you but not only what you were gorgeous, gorgeous. But what was on your little tootsies? I mean, who this fucking bitch. This rom com bitch. You guys, I am not joking. I’m not exaggerating. When I sit across these two it is a rom com like she is not only are they going away. It’s to a resort in Santa Barbara alone together choosing that time together. She’s wearing knee high F knee boots.


Kulap Vilaysack  15:10

Oh, I didn’t think of them that way.


SuChin Pak  15:13

I mean, they might not have been it doesn’t matter.


Kulap Vilaysack  15:16

But I do like to put it out there. Hot, sexy heeled boots shoes with a little Croc finish to it, just to kind of give it a little,


SuChin Pak  15:27

Like, still putting in that gorgeous efforts still holding it together.


Kulap Vilaysack  15:35

Hey, but look, I’ll say this to you 100 times, those boots were equally for myself, for Scott and for you.


SuChin Pak  15:47

I mean, who cares of the boys notice, but I’m just saying like, I aspire, like for the young ones out there who are listening when you’re getting up to that 50 track. Let’s just say it is a very empty train that is leaving the station of I want to spend a weekend away with my husband and I’m going to get really cute for it. Like not a lot of passengers on that train. Just not,  that I know of you may be traveling in a different set. And I think that you are like from what you know what I mean? Like I think but who knows I just the set that I’m traveling in. That’s not the ride that we’re on. So I just I love it. I appreciate it, it’s inspiring. You know, it does put a little sparkle back into the into the despacho was fun.


Kulap Vilaysack  16:50

It was so fun, well, Su, we have a guest we have a special guest


SuChin Pak  16:55

We have to make time and energy for this. This is going to be amazing.


Kulap Vilaysack  16:59

Our guest today is a triple threat. A writer, performer, producer, he hosts the new and hilarious podcast Tell Me Everything where guests share their favorite things from pop culture. Please Add To Cart, Liam Gareau.


Liam Gareau  17:21

Guys, can you believe another gay man with a podcast about pop culture? Listen the absolute waves in my community that I’m making honestly, what a hero it goes Harvey Milk and then me.


SuChin Pak  17:32

The audacity, you know what I mean? To really step into this space.


Kulap Vilaysack  17:37

To just point at that Grand Marshal flow and say I will be on it.


Liam Gareau  17:43

Dealer not only am I on it, I’m leading the mama. I’m in the front, I’m driving the car. Okay, I put gas in the tank.


SuChin Pak  17:53

Liam, on your ground breaking pod? Tell Me Everything, you do talk about everything that is pop culture, right things that you love things that make you cringe. So, I mean, I have to ask what what has been on your list lately? Who or who has been on your list lately?


Liam Gareau  18:13

I would say well listen. I mean, from a music moment I will say being the good little gay boy that I am I’m really enjoying are either be privy to Chappell Roan?


SuChin Pak  18:24



Kulap Vilaysack  18:25



Liam Gareau  18:26

I only just discovered her last fall. She has an album out that I believe is called The Rise and Fall of the Midwest princess and she is this little Dynamo of a performer Chappell Roan is an example of someone who I think is very much following in like, the sort of like queer dance pop realm, but it’s like, if you are gay, or a woman, an NB darling, or just a man who knows how to have a good time. This woman is so for you. It’s like feminist queer dance pop. And I mean, really, what more could you ask for? I would so she has definitely been someone who’s like, been on my mind a lot recently. But also I will say, I have just finished and sobbed my way through have either of you guys seen the limited series one day based off of the book base?


Kulap Vilaysack  19:22

I am watching it right now. And I love it. I am hung up at the episode where he’s watching his daughter. Because I’m worried about that.


SuChin Pak  19:32

Wait, so remind me what is the series? I don’t I haven’t seen.


Liam Gareau  19:35

So in 2011 or 2010, somewhere around there. Anne Hathaway and Jimster just rent a movie based off a book of the same name called One Day and the premise follows. These two friends who meet in college they have this sort of pseudo flirtatious relationship over the course of this of the book and then the movie now the series it follows their relationship as they grow into adulthood into their 40s and it’s about this sort of push and pull of their friends. ends but they’re more than friends. But they can’t be more than they are, but then they try to be. And so it’s really interesting that sort of weaving through those different interpersonal dynamics. And so there does come a point later on in the series where I believe his name is Dax or Dex played by Leo Woodall who was in the most recent season of the White Lotus.


Kulap Vilaysack  20:17



Liam Gareau  20:18

And he played like the British guy that was up to good, famously getting fucked by his uncle.


Kulap Vilaysack  20:22

Tom Holland.


SuChin Pak  20:23

Oh, that guy got it, that guy.


Liam Gareau  20:25

Yeah, that guy? Oh, yes, oh, yes the man being.


SuChin Pak  20:28

The all the other stuff, I’m like, no bells.


Liam Gareau  20:33

Fun yeah, famously ringing my damn here’s towards the sort of more toward the end of the series. He has a little child and Kulap is sort of like, I’m worried about that child because Leo’s character is proving himself to be a bit of a loose cannon. I think we can agree.


Kulap Vilaysack  20:49

He plays that character so well. That sweet boy who just like you just make the wrong decisions. But I love you, I love you so much, you will always make the wrong decision.


Liam Gareau  21:01

And those people who like when they see the oncoming flame, they have no sense of how to divert and fly around. They’re like, oh, what’s that? Something shiny, let me go headfirst and runo impulse control 100%.


Kulap Vilaysack  21:12

It’s excellent.


Liam Gareau  21:14

It’s so good, and I watched all of it and now.


SuChin Pak  21:18

No spoilers because.


Kulap Vilaysack  21:20

I want to say you’re gonna love it Su, you’re gonna love it.


SuChin Pak  21:22

No, I already I think I’m gonna start with the book. I already sounds like my my type of thing.


Liam Gareau  21:26

No, don’t start with the bottom brag about knowing how to read. I mean, don’t throw that in my face but like.


SuChin Pak  21:31

I’m wearing I just for God’s sake, of course, I know.


Liam Gareau  21:34

You’re like, I look like I’m late for my librarianship, what are you talking about? But no, this isn’t spoilery at all I was going to say is that because our phones are, of course listening to us all the time. I had my phone nearby, of course, while I was watching the show, and now my Tiktok algorithms are just fan reactions to the show, and also just the rehashing of absolutely the most saddest, most devastating moments from the show. And so it’s inescapable for me at this point, but I have I’m gonna be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way, I wouldn’t […]


Kulap Vilaysack  22:11

Liam, tell us what kind of shopper are you? What do you how do you shop?


Liam Gareau  22:16

I gotta say I am, I actually think I really sort of belied the gay stereotype because I think with gay men there’s tends to be this stereotype around gay men that like we are shoppers. And I am not you know, I am not a shopper. I am one of those people because you have to understand that in my not to get so like armchair psychologist about it but look at I was raised by single parents, she raised her kids on her own. Like I don’t mean to espouse some Oliver Twist Dickensian, We were not raised under a doorstop we were a middle class family, we were not from I have not family, but I was very aware of the the risk involved with money and how that correlates into spending. And so I think, because I was very aware of coming from a single income household, I was always very paranoid about money and not wanting to spend too much of it. So I was someone. And it’s funny, I was just thinking about this ahead of, you know, coming on this afternoon with you both, which is like because I was thinking about my relationship to shopping and money and all that stuff, and throughout my 20s. And this, by the way, I think is very common, but I was waiting tables, living paycheck to paycheck, so I never had the money to spend on chips. Like there was no money to spend.


Liam Gareau  22:32

I still found a way though I still got away. But go ahead.


Liam Gareau  23:30

Right, fair, fair and you know what, but that’s what you’re legend and that’s what no one is really giving you prompts enough for is the thing. Um, that was always so funny to me. I do remember looking back. I’m not saying by the way, this was your experience. But I remember looking at people that I knew in my 20s, who I knew were barely employed. I mean, we’re talking like, active members in the improv community like, you know, these people are not gainfully employed, like, you know, they’re not. And I was, but I remember thinking like Christ are always able to, like afford classes, or they’re able to afford eating out whenever they want and Bob, like, how are they doing that? I realized, like, years later, I’m like, because their parents are paying for everything for that. And I was like, oh, copy that. Some of my retraining that I’ve had to do my brain because the thing about when you’re not a shopper, it doesn’t just mean that you’re not buying frivolous like fun things. It also means you’re not buying things that you actually need for like your general well being like.


SuChin Pak  24:27

Your basics.


Liam Gareau  24:28

Oh, I’m talking about even though I was someone who waited tables for 13 years, I would only buy myself new shoes when they were quite literally falling off of my feet. Because I couldn’t justify the purchase otherwise, even though shoes anyway, it’s a crucial purchase, but especially if you’re spending all of your time on your feet. It was like that level of pathology where you know, if I could save, and I’m talking about like even in the dead of winter, if I could save three bucks on a subway ride. I would walk half an hour somewhere if I meant that I could save that $3 that level of, yes.


Kulap Vilaysack  25:01

Okay, okay.


Liam Gareau  25:02

So you know I’m having to like train myself a little bit now to be a good shopper.


SuChin Pak  25:09

Wow, thank God that you came here to for us to guide you through that, let us take you under our great wings and just just show you the way is.


Kulap Vilaysack  25:21

Yes, because we’re gonna dive into his cart and so I think this is a pie exemplar but he’s talking about retraining himself because he loves formulary, how do you say it formulary?


Liam Gareau  25:36

I believe it’s I think that’s it formulary.


Kulap Vilaysack  25:39

You love there so because it makes you feel rich.


SuChin Pak  25:42

Take us through this journey from suds to the rents all of it.


Liam Gareau  25:47

I mean, first of all, I would love to I, so for listeners at home, when I’m about to tell you first of all, I’m not proud of it.


Kulap Vilaysack  25:55



Liam Gareau  25:55

And I want to acknowledge that I have changed and maybe not for the best and life’s a journey everyday is a winding road show quote, told us best. I just want to say this is each individual bar of soap approximately $12 yeah, and that is an insane amount of money to spend on so, I know that and know that I know that.


Kulap Vilaysack  26:12

I’m okay with it. Suchin is not, I’m okay.


Liam Gareau  26:16

So here’s the thing, here is the deal. Two years ago, I like finally was able to stop waiting tables. I now like do podcasting and other creative things for living. I’m very lucky that I’m able to not supplement my income with other things but when I got my podcast job, I remember making a mental note of like, I want to do those things like those self care things that people who make money can do. Also, by the way for anyone at home is like oh, so do you go for massages, do you go to the spa? No bitch I literally just the list stops and starts with expensive so I hate to break it to you. But I if we’re going to go from start to suds and you know from sets to finish, I disrobe I turn on the shower. I enter the shower and this.


Kulap Vilaysack  27:02

Is in the dark or in light?


Liam Gareau  27:04

Oh, I forgot to say sorry. I opened the door a turn on the light I just wrote.


SuChin Pak  27:08

Because we’ve had we’ve had suggestions from listeners. Like try taking a shower.


Kulap Vilaysack  27:13

Take a sensory bath, yeah.


SuChin Pak  27:15

It’s a sensory, I leave. I’m just saying let’s just think about.


Kulap Vilaysack  27:21

Saving you money by […]


Liam Gareau  27:25

Hydro bill.


SuChin Pak  27:26

It’s taking the senses in another direction. But anyway,


Liam Gareau  27:30

Are they doing hang on? Are they doing a shower or bath.


Kulap Vilaysack  27:33

Shower, and there’s a glass of wine involved.


Liam Gareau  27:37

Oh, well, that’s actually perfect because no joke, I went to a friend’s party and they had this real like really fun raffle going and one of the prizes I won, this is absolutely true was a wine holder that you can stick to the side of your shower wall. So I mean, I guess I’m ready to go but to me a shower in the dark seems like a perilous endeavor, at least the fact that you are stepping around in the dark.


SuChin Pak  27:58

Yeah, but anyway, so anyways, like you’re the light. […]


Kulap Vilaysack  28:03

I’m sorry, I hate to interrupt.


SuChin Pak  28:06

I hate to do this.


Kulap Vilaysack  28:07

I hate to do this.


Liam Gareau  28:09

I want you to I want you to.


Kulap Vilaysack  28:10

What is what’s the template? What’s the temperature of the water? Huh?


Liam Gareau  28:14

Well, you know what, first of all, before I even do that you had best believe I’m turning on my wireless speaker. I’m blasting some chapel row. And that is absolutely true, because I don’t mind a soundtrack while I’m showering. Listen, we’re doing some Mitski we’re doing some wise blood. We’re doing some vintage Linda Ronstadt, we’re not afraid.


SuChin Pak  28:30

Linda Ronstadt?


Liam Gareau  28:33

You all know how the real testament to the fact that my skin looks this good. I’m actually secretly 81 years old. And that is the truth. Yeah, I know.


Kulap Vilaysack  28:44

I’m on your feet did nothing to your face.


SuChin Pak  28:48

We don’t know what his feet look like but yeah.


Liam Gareau  28:50

Well, they actually look like hardened bloodied stumps as what they look like. So I got some music going. The temperature of the water I will say this. I respect and understand people who are like cold shower all the way it’s great for circulation. I really do understand from a medical perspective how this is likely true. That to me sounds unconscionable. This world is already so difficult and braiding the idea of taking than a cold shower seems how you say and stuff. Yeah, so my temperature is clunk, we’re clocking in at like, just over like the midway point. Like, we’re I don’t want a steaming hot shower. I don’t want again, I don’t want to hurt myself is the thing. Remember this whole shower, this whole procedure? This is about self care, why do you think I spent $12 on soap?


Kulap Vilaysack  29:37

Yes, not to be scalded by the experience?


Liam Gareau  29:40



SuChin Pak  29:41

Not that pretty moneymaker?


Liam Gareau  29:43

Well, I mean, from your lips to God’s ears, honestly, like, I’ll say that. But now I wish I could give you like a hardcore like number like it’s this many degrees Fahrenheit. I just don’t know. It’s when it starts to feel good. But before it starts to feel bad, you know what I mean?


Kulap Vilaysack  29:57

That’s right, your baby bear.


Liam Gareau  29:59

It’s that, that’s exactly right. Go on […]  in my shower so hard. I get in the shower and I really first of all, it takes me approximately 45 minutes to wet my body just because there is a thick layer of hair coating the epidermis and the water must penetrate through the hair in order to actually wet the skin.


Kulap Vilaysack  30:17

So for the first 15, you’re completely dry.


Kulap Vilaysack  30:21

You don’t even the waters his pelt on his waterproof pelts.


Liam Gareau  30:25

Here’s the thing Kulap and you literally girls, I could step in the shower and one of you could like call me because it was an emergency and I could still race out of that shower no problem, bone dry, ready to go. You need someone to jump on mic, you need someone to loan you a cup of sugar. I’m ready to go, I’m still dry. I’m still as dry as the Sahara Desert is what I’m trying to say. So once my animal like body has actually been submerged in the water, I then this is how I’m grounding the audience, this is how I’m getting back on my side. Am I spending $12 on a bar of soap? Yes, but do understand that I’m still using dove shampoo. So everyone relaxed, okay?


SuChin Pak  30:58

It’s because you have to use so much of it all over.


Liam Gareau  31:01

I know. This much showering the fucking floor out. I’m gonna be on the street. If I take one more shower. It’s at this point, it’s my hygiene or my home and I don’t know what have.


SuChin Pak  31:18

You chosen you’ve chosen and you’ve chosen wisely go on.


Liam Gareau  31:22

Oh no, and so once I rent out the shampoo, then the conditioner goes in, that’s the end. We’re setting that in for the whole shower because we want to make them absolutely. Then we take I take my little black bar bar of soap that goes right on the face. And then we pull out the big guns and that’s our formulary 55 soap. Listen, it comes in these gorgeous little packages.


Kulap Vilaysack  31:46

He’s showing us aloe leaf and mint.


Liam Gareau  31:48

This is a moisturizing shea butter so it weighs in at six ounces known to some as 170 grams. And I want you to know that this is a handcrafted soap that is made in small batches of saponified oils coconut and our SPO certified palm and shea butter scented with proprietary blend of product that is one of the days free fragrance oils and essential oils and great news everyone it’s SLS free, vegan and cruelty free so what more do you want, but then that we’re taking that bar of soap, we’re getting it out of the water we’re lathering it up and that bar is going straight on the body and we’re rubbing it all around. Okay, girls, I’m single and I live alone I get to do whatever I want with the soap once we get once we hit the.


SuChin Pak  32:33

I think we lost the grounding airy I think we have to reground here. Is there any other thing that we can reground the audience with? Are you brushing your teeth in there? Are you washing out mildew while the conditioners?


Liam Gareau  32:49

I’m doing my taxes. I’m doing my test.


Kulap Vilaysack  32:51

It just feels like okay, it just feels like we have a five me please what you’ve described your hair your you know the time that that you are using one single bar every time you shower, is that correct?


Liam Gareau  33:10

Yeah, I have to use I go through one bar per as I call it per cycle. So I’m actually I’m spending approximately $111 a week on soap, after tax because, you know, listen, there is something to be said for basic laws of physics. Things getting worn down over time, not unlike and when you think about it, what a beautiful analogy. Not unlike the soap. We’re all getting worn down, okay?


Kulap Vilaysack  33:41

Oh my god, you know what I was like, put off but now I’m way the fuckin I do feel worn down.


Liam Gareau  33:48

And if there’s an if there’s one thing I’m going to do with an audience, it’s it’s push them away and then pull them back in just as I’ve done with you, honestly, I’m we’re constantly in an act of push and pull not unlike life.


SuChin Pak  34:05

The sense and the suds, that’s how you separate the wheat from the chaff. From the $12 to the 39 cents is just the amount of sides I imagine that your follicles are generating.


Liam Gareau  34:23

Girls, first of all, when I’m in a full set, I look like I’m fully clothed, I’ll say that. Even actually when I’m buck naked, I look like I’m fully clothed through like Ku, you know what it is, I actually just pieced this together about myself. I had the kind of body hair where if someone looked at me unclothed, they wouldn’t be totally like, unconvinced, I wasn’t actually fully evolved. Does that make sense? Like I still look so like, I look so. I mean, listen, some men have been very into it and believe me when I say other men, very not. And I do feel I owe it to your listeners. If there are any men listening and specifically any straight men, all two of you I want I have something to say to you. I need you when you are getting in there with that bar soap. You then must take your washcloth I want you to I want you to wet wet it you must hold wet your washcloth and then you got to you must.


Kulap Vilaysack  35:13

Here we go listen up.


Liam Gareau  35:14

Get the ignored areas and you know which areas those are.


Kulap Vilaysack  35:18

Which are, legs.


Liam Gareau  35:19

You know straight men are not watching their watch


Kulap Vilaysack  35:22

Apparently a lot of white women don’t either.


Liam Gareau  35:26

And that’s really tough to hear and not to you listen not to you know sound like Martin Lawrence from the 90s but also fellas, you gotta wash your ass. You have gotta wash your hands.


SuChin Pak  35:38

With the wash cloth, that’s important.


Liam Gareau  35:40

Well, yeah, because again, we’re using basic elements of physics here that friction, you got to get in there with that wash cloth to properly disinfect the area. You know, I’m saying. Once we’re head to toe covered in a layer of soap.


SuChin Pak  35:51

You’ve got the dove soaking.


Liam Gareau  35:53

I’ve got Listen, we’ve got the conditioner in. Ladies, it’s at this point. We’re ready for our rents okay. Which also takes approximately 45 minutes, because there’s a lot to get out you know.


Kulap Vilaysack  36:04

Pp until that point, you’ve been avoiding the water, like, sort of like a ballerina.


SuChin Pak  36:09

I mean, it’s it’s $12 a bar.


Liam Gareau  36:11

Yeah, I’m absolutely taking that showerhead and pointing it directly to the side of the shower, like of the wall because I’m like, oh, I’m not wasting one ounce of this, like, I’m gonna have to head over to Wilkes department store and buy another one of these tomorrow. I get out of the shower. I absolutely tell myself off while my hair is wet. I brush it because we should fellas, we must be brushing our hair.


Kulap Vilaysack  36:34

Who’s not brushing their hair? Really?


Liam Gareau  36:37

First of all, you will come from the world of male comedians don’t pretend like you don’t know men who aren’t brushing their hair. Okay.


Kulap Vilaysack  36:42

Yes so.


Liam Gareau  36:44

They’re, and isn’t it so disappointing when we look back on our lives. I’ll say this, I’ll speak for myself the amount of energy I wasted on finding like straight male improvisers attractive, what a waste, what a waste.


Kulap Vilaysack  36:58

It’s look, it’s we were, we were brought up that way. Liam, that’s what.


Liam Gareau  37:03

I know.


Kulap Vilaysack  37:03

What our peers did when we didn’t know another way. So let him you couldn’t find ourselves grace for that.


Liam Gareau  37:10

And I look back on 20 through 28 year old limb, and I say, you know what, sometimes it just takes us a little bit longer to learn the lesson and I’ll say that, okay. And then once we’re out of the shower, we’re told off our hair is brushed. We’re pulling out our Aesop’s facial hydrating cream.


SuChin Pak  37:30

Humblebrag okay. Wow, hashtag made it.


Liam Gareau  37:36

Not the cheapest purchase, I’ll say that.


Kulap Vilaysack  37:38

It’s not we all know it’s not.


Liam Gareau  37:40

It just isn’t. So here’s what I do three dabs. I do two on the forehead. I do one on the cheek. And because our pores are open from the heat and from the hot water in the shower, you know that face is ready to absorb, okay? So you just get it all in there, you’re moisturized, don’t forget behind your ears.


Kulap Vilaysack  37:58

All right, that’s a good tip, that’s a really good tip.


Liam Gareau  38:01

Behind the ears, and also, you’ve got some residue on your hands. Hit the elbows while you’re okay wait, you know, why not?


Kulap Vilaysack  38:08

Why not?


SuChin Pak  38:09

I mean, Liam, you’re smelling like a dream at this point.


Liam Gareau  38:14

Well, just you wait, because there’s one more step because then we’re pulling out. Our Aesop. I’d assess, perform, okay.


SuChin Pak  38:25

I mean, podcasts have been really kind to you.


Kulap Vilaysack  38:28

Wow, you changed, you really changed.


SuChin Pak  38:35

I once got up Aesop handsoap Kulap, from a friend of ours during pandemic I’m still doling that out years later in the in the car only in the car just like little squeezes.


Kulap Vilaysack  38:47

We did a show at Nui house in Hollywood, and in their bathrooms. They have Aesop products before we did our show. Not only did we lotion, our forearms and hands, we hit our feet.


SuChin Pak  39:01

We hit our feet.


Liam Gareau  39:06

And you were slipped sliding all over that damn floor. Smelling and you’re like, oh, yes, yes. I here’s the thing, guys, remember everyone I used to literally walk half an hour in the snow to avoid spending $3 on the subway ride like this is it’s all balancing out and also to lest we forget, I did drop out of high school. I didn’t go to university, I don’t have debt. So this is how we’re also able to justify these purchases, okay. You know, some of us didn’t spend money on a post secondary education we said you know what we’re gonna get by on being uneducated but charming, and that’s okay.


Kulap Vilaysack  39:41

I’d like to invite you to kindergarten Career Day. I want you to give that speech verbatim.


SuChin Pak  39:48



Liam Gareau  39:49

Absolutely, first of all, is absolutely true. I hated school from the second I was in it, aka kindergarten, so you know that there would be at least one child that I would be speaking directly to In that room, he was like, I get you. Not only do I get you but I want this then to be my life. I needed someone to tell me that school didn’t matter, especially if you wanted to be in the arts, let’s just be honest. Let’s just be honest, and so that’s like the get ready.


Kulap Vilaysack  40:15



Liam Gareau  40:16

Ritual once we’re hydrated once we’re spread. […] And honestly, no more often times than not nowhere. I am going to my couch to podcast is kind of what’s happening. And in case and the listeners at home can appreciate this, but ladies, when I tell you it’s this couch right behind me this mid century PCC that I got off of Craigslist. Yeah, that’s the one.


Kulap Vilaysack  40:37

Liam, thank you so much for joining us. Where can people find more?


SuChin Pak  40:42

You are so much more. I just, I feel like we just got to the tip of the suds.


Liam Gareau  40:48

First of all, you both need to absolutely come on my show. Because this was such a blast. I have a show called Tell me Everything. You can find it on Spotify and Apple and everyone please go listen and subscribe to that show where this tiny little show our show is also trying to like find a podcasting network as its home right now so we’re just trying to like get it up off the ground. And we’re really happy and proud of the shows that we’ve done so far, so tell me everything. Apple and Spotify. You can follow the shows on Instagram page at tell Liam everything and I’m at Liam Gareau across all of their socials.


Kulap Vilaysack  41:19

Now I recognize a lot of the faces a lot of the names that have been past guest. And if you could just be so bold, tell us who your favorite has been so far. We won’t tell them. No, we won’t tell them. You tell them right now.


SuChin Pak  41:33



Liam Gareau  41:34

I will, I will say I have had a real I have a real soft spot for two people, especially because they were part of like the real early shows […] and Bryan Safi, those are like, lovely, lovely boys. And we’re so generous and great on the show. And honestly, and this sounds like such a line but everyone’s been really fantastic and generous with their time and appearance on the show, so it’s been a total blast to do.


Kulap Vilaysack  41:57

Thank you, Liam, you’re so funny. Thanks for joining us for another episode. You can find all of our items and the entirety of Liam shower routine on our Instagram at Add to Cart pod. Tiffany tried to get some photos from Liam please.


SuChin Pak  42:14

And we’re opening our metaphorical phone lines to you all we have a new segment we’re so excited. I don’t know how it took us this long to get here. We’re calling it Ask The Aunties where we’ll share advice on anything you need. Okay, you need a new mineral kbd sunscreen recommendation ie whether you should break up with your boyfriend in or outside of a Quiznos we got you. We are here to share our Auntie wisdom. So please send us your voicemails with your questions via SpeakPipe that is a link in our show notes, it’s so easy. We love hearing from you so make sure you do that. See you next time, bye.


Kulap Vilaysack  42:55



SuChin Pak  43:00

There’s more Add To Cart with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content like where we tell you about the last item we bought or returned and why subscribe now in Apple podcasts.


Kulap Vilaysack  43:13

Add To Cart is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producers are Kegan Zema and Tiffany Bouy. Brian Castillo is our engineer. Theme music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers or Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer, and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen at free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.

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