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We’re officially kicking off Auntie’s Book Club with the queen of endorphin dressing herself, Tabitha Brown. Tabitha shares all the new things she tried, and learned, through writing her latest book “I Did a New Thing: 30 Days to Living Free.” That includes four little words that are blowing Ku and Su’s minds. Then, SuChin and Tabitha add to cart talking about a transformation that’s come knocking on their doors.

Lemonada has teamed up with Apple Books to bring you the Lemonada Book Club. “I Did a New Thing: 30 Days to Living Free” by Tabitha Brown is our audiobook of the month! Listen here.

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• Get Tabitha’s latest book wherever books are sold (or try the audiobook version!)
• Tabitha’s has something to say about Perry, her unexpected visitor

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Tabitha Brown, Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak

Kulap Vilaysack  00:10

Carter’s thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Add To Cart the show about the things we buy the things we buy into, what it says about who we are, I’m your auntie Kuku Vilaysack.

 

SuChin Pak  00:21

And I’m auntie SuChin Pak, Ku, I am just head over heels. For our guests today I just looking at a radiating face and already I’m just smiling, grinning ear to ear. She was the voice that soothed me and my children through the pandemic. She’s the energy that has healed so many of her fans and her outfits. It is the definition of endorphin dressing, which we talk about a lot all the time.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  00:49

All the time, and I’m fangirling right along with you Su, she is the perfect guest to officially kick off our aunties book club. You know, Su and I are nerdy for books. We love talking to Aparna Nancherla and Jada Pinkett Smith about there’s, so we thought let’s just lean into it.

 

SuChin Pak  01:07

Yes, let’s get nerdy.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  01:08

Let’s go for it. We’ll be talking to authors of our favorite reads and of course, take a little look see into their carts. So speaking of our guest today is an actress and vegan food star known as America’s mom. She is the co-creator and host of tap time. She’s the CEO of the haircare line, Donna’s recipe,

 

SuChin Pak  01:28

And she’s received several, several.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  01:33

NAACP Image Awards. Her latest book, oh, she’s an Emmy Award winner too by the way. I digress, her latest book is titled I Did A New Thing 30 days to living free please add to cart, Tabitha Brown.

 

Tabitha Brown  01:51

Thank you, I love that it’s auntie so because I’m Auntie ,okay.

 

SuChin Pak  01:56

I mean Auntie energy all the way the three of us together it, I don’t know if the internet will ever recover from this. We’re going to be dropping so much unsolicited advice. So much truth here today. We’re so excited to have you. Your book is so easy to devour. And we’ll get into why? Because it’s not your typical book. You know, there’s a real interesting way about it a format. But it is our Lemonada book clubs, Audio Book of the Month for February. So that is official. So let’s talk about this book, tell me how did the idea for this book come into being and then talk about sort of how you structured the book.

 

Tabitha Brown  02:40

I made this challenge up in 2014, that did a new thing challenge. And I was really just back then, you know, I was a new mom of two. And I really wanted to just try to figure out some things that were exciting and do something new and discovering a new phase of who I was, I guess. And so I was doing things to include my children, and also, you know, self discovery. And it was fun, and I was like, Oh, I’m not as bored as I was. I don’t know about anybody else. A mini of yours filling stuff. And so what I realized is doing something new, get you unstuck and get you out of routine and get you out of habit. And so when I did it, I was like, oh, I think I want to try to do this every year, or you know, a couple of times a year, I just love the idea of doing something new. And I’ve always been like a free spirit, you know, growing up always was adventurous and curious. And when you get into a routine of life, sometimes your curiosity dies down. Sometimes you forget that you haven’t done anything new in a long time. So I wanted to keep that every year, and to remind myself of like you can do something else, you know, there’s still more to do.

 

SuChin Pak  03:48

It’s very interesting that this sort of was around the time that you were a new mom. And because I think that that’s very common. You know, kids come into your life, you’re just getting into these routines, and you’re just trying to survive. And then when you get your head above water a little bit, you’re like, wait a minute, I haven’t fed my creativity. I’m in a funk or I’m stuck. It’s so interesting that it was also born from that time so long ago. Are you a natural, like risk taker? Because when I think of something new for me, someone who isn’t a risk taker, I’m like, oh, that sounds that sounds scary. And it doesn’t have to be I know that now and we’ll talk let’s talk about that. Because you talk about that in your book.

 

Tabitha Brown  04:31

Yeah, I am naturally a risk taker, right, but I’m married to someone who is not. So I know it very well. Okay, but a lot of times, if you look at your family dynamic, where you spent the most time in your childhood, you’ll know why you are the way you are, but most times as children we’re influenced by our family or our environment, without even knowing. Right and so we’re afraid to take risks because our mom or dad are afraid to take risk or I grandma, we won’t move because our family never moved. We won’t try new foods because our family never tried new foods right? I had a my book tour I was with Denise, Bernie Max daughter, she was my moderator in Chicago. And she said her whole life she thought she hated cats. And then her friend had a cat that she fell in love with. She was like, why did I think I hated cats? Because her mom and dad hated cats. So they always talked about how sneaky they were, how nasty they were. So she used to tell people oh, honey, I like yes, they sneak, she was like, I’ve never had even encountered a cat. But that’s what happens, we get influenced without even knowing it until we get old enough to address ourselves and say, wait a minute, let me unpack why I feel this way. And so that’s another thing about doing new things, you discover, like, oh, wait, I actually do love this thing or you know what, I don’t like this, and both are okay. And so I decided to write a book about it, because in the last six years, I’ve been on what I call my freedom walk. And so doing a new thing feels different when you’re free. And so the last time I said, you know what, this time when I do it, I want to write a book. And I want to journal it in real time. Because the difference in all my other books is like, you know, my first book being the so there’s stories that I’ve been through, you know, but they’re all stories, right? This is like me taking you on the journey in real time, I’m on my voice recorder, I’m recording things. Like as soon as I do it, and I feel the emotion, I did the voice recording, I wrote about it. Because what happens is, a lot of times we’ll go through something, but we want to dress how we feel in the exact moment, we’ll wait after time has passed. And maybe that’s not the real emotion that we felt in the moment. So I wanted to just do that differently, which is why the book is the way it is. So it’s kind of like journal style almost. And then of course, I wanted to incorporate other people. So that people would know is like, oh, this is not just having her thing. This is something that for all of us, I wouldn’t cooperate with as I call them, my cousins or you know, I call everybody family. And so I want everyone to feel relatable, like, you know, it’s a mom at the park, there’s willing to take a slide down in front of all these kids and adults, I wanted to incorporate that and help tell the stories of others while telling the story of my own, so that’s why.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  07:18

It’s what I’m also hearing too is that tab was Tiktok  before there was Tiktok. She’s just developing these challenges. You’re a futurist.

 

Tabitha Brown  07:31

You know, if I had known what social media was many years ago, and I tell you, I’d be a different day, I tell you.

 

SuChin Pak  07:39

I also love Tabitha, as as you’re reading this, because it’s you know, I did a new thing. And I’m a little bit like your husband. Yeah, I’m in between, you know, I, I have an openness, but it has to be really safe for me to feel like I can take that risk, you know, so like, everybody do the work. Let’s set the table, and then I’ll jump right in kind of a thing. But what I really got from this, especially, because you’ve been doing this for so long is that, for me, the practice is just sitting in the unknown, and accepting that the unknown can really open doors. And I think that that’s counterintuitive to how I was raised, which is like, if you don’t know the outcome, don’t go through that door. You’re on what is what is yeah, what’s on the other side, just go through the door where you know, on the other side, there’s going to be a paycheck. You know what I mean? A home, you know what I mean? A car, that kind of a thing.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  08:40

But Su, even at the same time, it’s like, even if it’s a bad thing, at least you know what the bad thing is? That’s how I was brought up a lot, a lot of fear.

 

SuChin Pak  08:48

Well, yeah, I mean, and the fear keeps you alive, but it traps you as you get older, and you’re like, oh, wait, it’s not serving me anymore to be afraid, because I don’t I have, you know, the safety net. So I want you to talk about that, because that’s something that I’ve really just discovered in my 40s. You know, and you hear it a lot like, oh, embrace the unknown, you know that and you’re just like, I don’t even know what that means. Like, why would I embrace the unknown? When a sure thing is a sure thing.

 

Tabitha Brown  09:15

Both of you said something that just goes back to what I just say you said that’s how you were raised,you both said it. So that’s how you were influenced by your parents to have fear, right? I was blessed were of course I had influence from my parents, but I also had a very big faith influence. And so doing things without knowing what’s on the other side is faith is believing that something great is on the other side is believing that that thing inside me is there for a reason. And it’s up to me to discover why, right? That’s faith, faith is believing in the unknown and that it will come to pass right? So I have a strong faith. It’s easier for me to take those risks, to not know what’s behind the door, and to just have a high hope. But I understand, like I said, my husband is not that way, it’s taking him a very long time to walk by faith, and to believe and not be so afraid, because that’s how his mother raised him to be afraid, also, when you struggle a lot, it’s hard to believe something good will happen, right? These are real things that happen in our lives that cause triggers that cause trauma. But for me, you know, it’s just the God put something so different inside of me that even with trauma and triggers, I still believe in something great. On the other side of the door, I still believe that we all have something great to offer the world and to offer each other. And so with that, I have faith in everything that I believe in things. I’m like, oh, what happens today, I wake up every day, and I expect the unexpected. That’s kind of like the joy of life for me to expect the unexpected to, you know, live and walk by faith, not by sight. That’s what faith is.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  11:19

What does it mean for you to put yourself first?

 

Tabitha Brown  11:23

Is exactly what it says, right? It means I have to start my day with myself, right? Even as a wife, even as a mother, even as an entrepreneur, and you know, someone who has a lot of businesses and responsibilities. I can’t show up in all those different elements if I’m not the best talent. And so putting myself first means using the power for word of no. Using this great sentence, have I changed my mind?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  11:55

Oh you know what? That doesn’t get talked about much. Everyone’s like the power of No.

 

SuChin Pak  11:59

That is not that […] my mind, I have chills.

 

Tabitha Brown  12:08

Honey, I changed my mind is better than no, let me just tell you why. Because you could get dressed and ready. You can even go to the location. You can get there and say, you know what? I changed my mind. I’m going back home, or I’m going to do something else, I just don’t feel like.

 

Tabitha Brown  12:25

Right there.

 

Tabitha Brown  12:27

That is putting yourself first right, despite what anybody else got to think about, it’ll say about it. They’ve asked me is my mind it’s a day to day for, for me to be with y’all, that is putting yourself.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  12:40

I feel about that, vould you imagine yourself saying that? Is that your you look so uncomfortable.

 

SuChin Pak  12:47

No, I yeah, we’ve talked about this a lot on the show Tabitha where I am the person when people are like, oh, you know, I don’t I avoid conflict. And I’m like, you have to define conflict, because for me, a telephone ring has conflict. For me a tone is conflict. For me an uninvited guest, even if it’s a friendly guest is conflict you know, because it’s just in a.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  13:12

Trader Joe’s and I’m asking her how she is.

 

SuChin Pak  13:16

Going to Trader Joe’s is such an it’s the only place that I can get my daughter’s favorite snack, this spicy tortilla chip thing. And she’s begging always and once a month. I like gather up every cell in my body to walk into Trader Joe’s because it’s conflict. So no feels very conflict to me. Whereas I think I change my mind. I’m like, I sort of like that. That feels safer, to me. That feels like a doable thing, and it is, it’s pretty profound to say you change, you change your mind. It may not sound at first, you know, or even like reading it, but saying it. You’re like really owning that I have the power to do a lot of things, including changing my mind.

 

Tabitha Brown  14:16

Yeah, you make a decision. I made a decision. That’s it, is as simple as that. And also, the other thing is, and this is where, you know a lot of people fall short. I don’t have to explain myself. I don’t have to tell you I changed my mind. And here’s my mouth. I didn’t change your mind, I changed.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  14:42

I don’t have to explain myself.

 

SuChin Pak  14:45

It’s not your mind. I didn’t change your mind. I mean if that isn’t what you’re I don’t really know what is.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  14:54

And you said it very, not screaming, okay.

 

SuChin Pak  15:02

Yeah, aunties learning from other aunties here.

 

Tabitha Brown  15:06

Yeah, and the people who the people who don’t get it is because they’re not in a space of freedom for themselves, right. And so the people who, who take offense to you change your mind is because they don’t have the ability to change the years, right? And so you can’t allow them to frustrate you or move you because they’re not ready for that yet. So you just simply have to say, oh, honey, you know, I’m sorry, have you feel a way about it but this is just something I had to do for me. But I love you maybe next time I you know, I’ll feel differently but today, honey, I changed my mind. I hope you see how I did that without explaining what why change wasn’t.

 

SuChin Pak  15:42

You close the door, by the way to have the that door was shut.

 

Tabitha Brown  15:46

Oh, yeah. God bless y’all, y’all have y’all have a good time over there, okay.

 

SuChin Pak  15:51

I also love that, she clicked it and yeah, she was gone.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  15:55

But it also sound like we had fresh breath at the same time. It didn’t, I didn’t feel bad about it.

 

SuChin Pak  16:04

Correct, it was warm, fresh breath and a dental. And those two things it.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  16:12

It was like she had a basket and then shut the door in my face. And I went okay, that’s right.

 

SuChin Pak  16:19

Yeah, everybody got something out of it, yeah.

 

Tabitha Brown  16:22

We deserve both, right? We deserve both.

 

SuChin Pak  16:25

I also love that we all are raising daughters as well. And I just when you said that it just like my nine year old, you know, just coming into this preteen world. Toddler gotta know if you got advice there.

 

Tabitha Brown  16:43

Good luck, good luck to you, honey. I tell you, I’ll tell you this, how old is she?

 

SuChin Pak  16:49

She’s nine.

 

Tabitha Brown  16:51

Okay, from about 12, to 16 and a half. You don’t know who she is. You don’t know where she came from. But she will come back to you about 17. She’ll come on, but you, you know, the teen years are the toughest for the kids and for us. And I’ll tell you why. Because they are trying to not be a kid anymore. But they don’t know how to be an adult. And we as parents are trying not to baby them. But we’re trying not to teach them how to be grown up too quick. So it’s a limbo phase for all of us, right? So it’s the best time to listen, the best time not to react out loud to what they say. It’s a lot of it’s a lot of times for breathing for parents. Because we also start to think we got something wrong. And you did it, you did it, you know, you just kind of going through it for the first time in that stage. But it is a difficult stage.

 

SuChin Pak  18:01

I starting to see glimpses of that, but I’m still she’s still in that, I still have some say. And I know, you know, it’s interesting when you become a parent. And this is not a new statement, but it becomes a true statement is that you have to parent yourself again, right? And so I have to learn how to sit in this right what you’re talking about, like, hey, I changed my mind. Today is not the day, but hey, who knows, you know, and close the door. And I have to be comfortable in that. So that I can come to her with that as you don’t I mean, as some something as a as a piece of wisdom that I’ve lived, right.

 

Tabitha Brown  18:42

But then there’s the other part of that is you have to unlearn how you were raised. Because, I mean, I don’t know how you were raised, but just in the short amount of time, I can tell that the majority of the conversations that you had with your family, were about responsibility, which is why so many things are conflict for you. There were less joyful fun conversations more responsibility in what you have to do conversation.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  19:10

Yes, my neck is strained from the knotting.

 

SuChin Pak  19:15

We need, we she needs to put her neck on. She doesn’t want to get a kink.

 

Tabitha Brown  19:21

Right, and so if you don’t want to, you know, influence your children to feel like the world is conflict. Then you have to unlearn some of the things that happened in your childhood, right. And listen, I love my mom and daddy,y ou know, God bless my mother so I feel like I had the best mother, the best mother, and I’m a daddy’s girl, I have the best fatherh he’s still with me. But I still had to unlearn some things that were taught to me and how I was raised. Because we can do it differently. You know, we can do it differently and we shouldn’t do it differently, we can do it our way. You know, as we learn to adult in our own lives, we have to also learn to parent differently.

 

SuChin Pak  20:05

I love that, and you talk about that in the book too. Now that you said, oh, this was in real time, you know, I was like, oh, wow, that she’s still learning lessons. She’s still unlearning lesson.

 

Tabitha Brown  20:17

Oh, yeah.

 

SuChin Pak  20:18

No, because you think, oh, well, okay, she’s figured it out. There’s a book, it’s all there but I really love that. Before we get to your cart, I just want to ask a question about the book, like, is there a new thing in the book that is very special to you, or a new thing that didn’t make it in the book that you know, you’ve recently tried or talk to us about just a new thing that excites you or that you learn something from?

 

Tabitha Brown  20:41

Oh, wow. There’s so many of them. But the one and it’s funny, because he’s embarking that I love the most. And I put Blackie on the back of the book for a reason, right? If you see that, is because I took him on a hike for the first time, right? I had never taken them on a hike but I’ve been doing these hikes for years with my brother, who’s like my best friend. And we would have our time, you know, maybe an hour and a half, like always. And this particular day, when I decided to take Blackie I was like, oh, let me do nothing, it’s like backyard, baby when I tell you he pulled me up the mountain down the mountain. Like he pulled us so much. That we finished the hike. I feel like 20-30 minutes early. And what I realized was in doing that, I could have always been doing more, and it took my dog to show me that I was just I was alright with where you weren’t I was doing. But it made me look at my life in every area. There’s always room to do more. There’s room to love more. There’s room to set more boundaries. There’s room to be still more. There’s always room to do more. Sometimes we just get used to doing things one way, but there’s still probably always room to do more.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  22:11

Tabitha, we’re so curious of like, how do you add to cart what type of shopper are you? Are you methodical? Are you a binge eater?

 

Tabitha Brown  22:19

It depends on my mood.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  22:21

Okay.

 

Tabitha Brown  22:24

You know, I love I love to add to cart, you know, tangible things, but also, you know what I need? Like, right now I’ve added to cart rest. Because, you know, I was I was on the road for 15 days, you know, we were in a different city every day for the last 10 days. Whether it be on a plane every day, on a bus every day, we were moving and shaken. So rest was not given the way it needed to be. And so right now I have added rest to cart. I’ve added more raw foods to cart, more juicing to cart, of course, more water to cart like all that. And I reserved my yes, by using a lot of no’s in my cart. So this week, with the exception of y’all, everybody gotta know, I’m not available. […]

 

Kulap Vilaysack  23:15

It’s so great.

 

Tabitha Brown  23:16

Because you know, you gotta use your no’s so that you have have time for a yes, when you really want to do something. And so I had a lot of no’s in my cart. So I could reserve a good yes for this moment. So those are the things that are right now in my cart. And yeah, I also added launch rate to my cart, because it’s Valentine’s Day. And maybe you know, I’m a woman of a certain age. I’m going through perimenopause, so I also got a little they call it a Horny Goat Weed. I’m excited to try it. That’s my business, going try that so I can be excited about my husband after 8pm.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  23:54

Okay, well here. Okay, so this morning, SuChin so dropped your Instagram video so fast into the Add to thread. I mean, the group chat.

 

SuChin Pak  24:05

I said, guys, I know it’s about a book. But at some point, I’m gonna bring this up. And I hope you guys are okay with it.

 

Tabitha Brown  24:13

This is for women. strictly for women. I mean, you probably don’t want us want to stay out of this but listen. Women of a certain age going through the menopausal, okay situations. They called early stages, peri menopause. High of a period she didn’t call before she came. She didn’t write not an email, now […]

 

Kulap Vilaysack  24:43

So funny.

 

SuChin Pak  24:45

It’s so real. So real, and the list the list of have from sex to hydration to heat. I mean it is a long list and we I am right there with you. I’ve talked about a bit on the pub I haven’t really dived into it and then I saw your post and it was like, it was almost like a sign like hey, what are you? What are you so scared about? What are you so hesitant about what are you so cautious about? I am ready to talk about this because I am going through it. So I want to tell you we talk about this can we add to cart talking about perimenopause?

 

Tabitha Brown  25:26

Absolutely, at please add it to cart attitude.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  25:31

Okay, go to Costco buy it in bulk.

 

Tabitha Brown  25:36

Because she everywhere okay. You know, love is universal language but so spirit menopausal women. I’m telling you. She went on tour with me. I didn’t even know she went on tour. But baby she goes on tour. She’s on flights, she’s always at hotels. Yeah, Grace us everywhere, she has a passport.

 

SuChin Pak  25:55

What a busy body. What a busy body.

 

Tabitha Brown  25:59

She is every where okay. But I’m learning what she likes what she doesn’t like, you know. And so I have just finished my first month. Estrogen, which is just you know, one pill a day. And so now I’m not sweating, but I’m still hot, right? I’m able to sleep through the night a little bit better, because I’m also adding magnesium to my evening routine. That these are the things we get do okay. And I’m adding it to you know, cool water and blending it. You know, mixing it and drinking your hot over ice, because normally I would be like, Oh, let me add a little magnesium to some hot tea. But that hot tea gonna make me more hot, okay. Uh huh so you can also if you want to make your tea your you know herbal tea with your magnesium. Put it in the refrigerator, or put it on rice. Yes, caffeine free though, because Perry loves caffeine. Oh, honey, she loves oh, she perimenopause, oh, girl she loves caffeine. If you have coffee, she’s like, oh my god. You got this for me? She’s showing.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  27:10

This I didn’t know.

 

SuChin Pak  27:12

Wow, okay. The coffee, yeah. Hide the coffee. Because you’ll be up all night. Peeing all night, up all night, thinking all night crashing later on in the morning when you need.

 

Tabitha Brown  27:23

Everything, yep, everything, all the things. So these are things I’m learning. And then also, you know, sometimes she likes sex. Sometimes you don’t? Sometimes they feel good. Sometimes they won’t.

 

SuChin Pak  27:39

Horny Goat Weed. That’s why she got that Horny Goat.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  27:41

Is it like, I want it. I’ve changed my mind. I don’t have to give you my reasons.

 

SuChin Pak  27:48

Is it that? But I have some bread?

 

Tabitha Brown  27:51

Baby, listen, once you are vocal that you are going through perimenopause, you should never ever have to give any reason ever again, to have sex or not having it to sex or not to sex, that is the question. When are we going to do it? I’m gonna do oh, you want to do if I tell you, I want you but come get it right now. Because in about an hour, maybe I might not even want to look at you, hour you want […]

 

Kulap Vilaysack  28:18

30 minutes.

 

SuChin Pak  28:19

Okay, it’s I’m on a 15 minute clock, I gotta like one of those little timers, you know.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  28:25

30 minutes or less?

 

Tabitha Brown  28:26

Let’s come on, let’s get it done. Let’s do it right now. Because I don’t know how I’m gonna feel in a minute, because only once I put this hair up. I’m going, okay?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  28:36

So he needs to stay ready.

 

Tabitha Brown  28:39

Yeah, you know, it isn’t they may be excited. If you tell them they will, they’d be ready. But you also got to let them know when you like, you know what? False, I’m so sorry. I thought I was good, but I am not. And I don’t feel like all the heat on me right now, I’m all right.

 

SuChin Pak  29:02

And that’s the thing, this journey is is not just a woman’s journey. It’s a journey for everyone, that we all go along together. Because it affects if it affects a woman, it affects all. […] You know, so I love that. I love that changing minds, and when I saw your post, and I just laughed and laughed so hard, because when you’re in this stage of your life, it’s very easy to get very sad. And it’s very easy to get very confused. And, you know, kind of like, what does this mean? And a little bit unsure. And then I open up your post and I was like no, there is so much humor in this. And I yeah, and I’m going through this and I’m thinking in some ways, it’s a blessing that it comes later on in life because you have all that wisdom and confidence to be like this is where I’m at now, and no thank you and get me some iced tea but also very thick socks, because I have two temperatures going on.

 

Tabitha Brown  30:07

Right, because I might be shivering in a minute. I don’t even know I’m hot right now, but I might be cold after. Why? I don’t know, I can’t tell you, okay? I can tell you this, though I tell you why it’s all happening is because I’m going through a transformation. My body is changing, it is telling me, you had your childbearing years, but now grow we’re about to remove that from your whole entire existence. And that’s going to take maybe 15 years, and then it’s freedom, and then freedom. Listen, they said it could take up to 15 years, I said.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  30:42

Wait, what? Really?

 

Tabitha Brown  30:45

Yeah, it can be as short as eight years, up to 15 years. And then when you think about it, that’s how long it takes before we get out period. It can happen as early as eight for some little girls, it can happen his latest 15 and 16 for some girl, I said, well, Lord Jesus, here we go. This put a seatbelt on to bring snacks, it’s gonna be a long ride. But it’s inevitable.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  31:12

And it has to happen.

 

Tabitha Brown  31:13

And you know what, I’m grateful to go through it because that means we’re healthy. You know, our body is doing what it’s naturally built to do. And so I’m like, all right, let’s go on for the ride, and you know, but be vocal about it because this is the thing I realized as I talk about it, so many women are like, no one ever talked to us about it. You know, my mom, of course, she died before we can have that conversation, and I think about so many people who’ve never had the conversation, I started looking at divorce rates. They’re the highest or menopause, because women all, because me and don’t know what happened to their wife. And women don’t know what’s happening to them. And they’re afraid to talk about it, they feel embarrassed, they feel afraid, they feel confused. You know, there’s some women in things that I was reading, the sound of their husband’s voice starts to annoy them. It’s like when you’re pregnant, you’re like, shut up.

 

SuChin Pak  32:11

Or the smell.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  32:12

Now you’re telling on yourself careful, SuChin.

 

Tabitha Brown  32:15

Listen, but you don’t know how to explain why you all of a sudden feel that way. But now, you know is that oh, it’s not you isn’t? I’m going through this whole thing, give me a minute. So I can figure out who I am in this season of light.

 

SuChin Pak  32:29

Yeah, how you can shed your entire skin and all your hair and put something else on? Do you have anything else is it was it other than the skin that you’re wearing? is what I want to say. And you know, he’ll come in for a kiss. And I’m like, and in my mind, I’m thinking I can’t do the skin, I can’t do that skin today. And it’s clean skin, I know the skin is not about that. It’s just your skin.

 

Tabitha Brown  32:59

This is when you say I changed my mind in the moment. I need a minute.

 

SuChin Pak  33:05

Or we could just get in like sleeping bag suits, you know and be like can we just somehow cinch this in but anyway, that’s my that’s my problem with my business.

 

Tabitha Brown  33:14

That’s your business, but that’s when it’s time to do a new thing. You got to figure out something. You know, got to do a new thing.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  33:21

We have a professional on this podcast and she brought it back, do you see that?

 

SuChin Pak  33:33

That’s how you bring it back.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  33:34

Thank you so much for joining us. You can find Tabitha on Instagram at IamTabithaBrown. You can find all things Tab on her website, Iamtabithabrown.com. Try something new and get I Did A New Thing wherever books are sold.

 

Tabitha Brown  33:51

Thank you.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  33:52

Thank you so much.

 

CREDITS  33:59

There’s more ADD TO CART with Lemonada Premium. Subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content like where we tell you about the last item we bought or returned and why. Subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Add To Cart is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producers are Kegan Zema and Tiffany Bouy. Brian Castillo is our engineer. Theme music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers or Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer, and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen at free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.