Falling In Love Again (with Kaitlyn Bristowe)
Kaitlyn is my good friend and appeared on the Bachelor as a contestant before starring as a Bachelorette herself. Believe it or not, she was the very first person I interviewed for this podcast, so you might be able to hear just how nervous I was. We talk about those kinds of first loves you never really forget – for good and for bad. It’s basically an unexpected therapy session. Plus, we take some wisdom from the Kardashians.
Please note, Funny Cuz It’s True contains mature themes and may not be appropriate for all listeners.
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Elyse Myers, Kaitlyn Bristowe
Elyse Myers 00:04
How did I meet my smoke show of a husband? Great question. I would love to tell you. Jonas and I both lived in Australia at the same time. And we actually went to the same school but we went to different campuses. I went to the city campus, and Jonas was at a campus deep in the suburbs. Because our school was so large the students at each campus hardly ever interacted with each other except for like the first week of each semester when we would have combined sessions and they recalled the intensives we managed to make it like two years into our degree before we had a single conversation. I happened to be in the suburbs one week for a band rehearsal that was beyond my usual biannual trip to the Hills campus. I was running late. So in a rush, I left my dinner on the train, the same dinner that made me miss my first train. For some reason I grossly underestimate how long it takes me to make a meal like a simple meal even. So before heading straight to campus, I ran to the grocery store across the street. My friend met me there and she just kept me company. While I grabbed a few things. I headed straight to the meat counter. The thing about me is if I don’t know what to eat, or if I don’t have time to have an opinion about what I’m eating, I will pick lunch meat every single time. It’s really cheap, and you can get as much or as little of it as you want if you get it from the deli. The downside is most people will just ask you why you are eating a bag of lunch meat from the deli small price to pay for convenience, honestly. So as I was trying to get the attention of the worker behind the meat counter, I hear my friends start to say hello to a couple of students that also walk up to the deli. Who knew this was such a hot plate for Tuesday night. As I pay half of my attention to the small talk happening between my friend and her friends right beside me. I am also paying the other half to maintaining my place in line so that I can secure my roast beef and then immediately fill my stomach with it.
Elyse Myers 03:14
I hear my friend Megan say I’m so sorry, how rude of me, this is Elyse, I turned towards the conversation so I can shake the hand that’s being extended towards me. And the person attached to the hand introduces himself. Hi, I’m Jonas. As I shake his hand, he makes direct eye contact with me and I suddenly feel more aware of my dinner choice than I would like to in that moment. Hi, Jonas, my name is Elyse, nice to meet you. The first thing I noticed about him beyond the fact that he was very good at eye contact was that he was wearing house clothes. This is a category of clothing I have since come to realize is not a universal term. I just thought everybody had specific and more comfortable clothes that they immediately changed into when getting home regardless of how long they would be home and they were not pajamas. But as it turns out, I was incorrect in this understanding but for some reason the fact that Jonas lips so comfortable standing there. I don’t know what made me feel comfortable talking to him like he was my kind of person. Now was he absolutely gorgeous? Of course. But I was dating someone at the time and so that line of thinking just wasn’t really available to me and my brain at the moment. The four of us all stood there and we talked for like a solid 10 minutes while we were waiting for the person behind the meat counter to take our orders. What are you getting? I asked just trying to make conversation, some salami for pasta salad. What are you getting? Some slice roast beef for dinner. Sounds good. Jonas said. The butcher finally walked over to all four of us and saved me from my pathetic attempt at small talk and I had to place my order in front of everyone so I had no choice but to confidently say I will take a kilo of roast beef sliced whatever is convenient for you, it’s all going in the same place. Please. While Jonas’s order was being taken, Megan reminded me that we were very late to rehearsal still, and we definitely needed to sprint across the street as soon as possible. So I waved to Jonas with my hand full of deli meat. And I said, it’s so great to meet you. Pun intended. I raced out of the grocery store as fast as I possibly could. And Jonas later told me that his friend leaned into him after our conversation and said, geez, why don’t you marry her already? And he said, Maybe I will. The next time we talked was eight months after that. I was now very single, but not for very long. Thank you.
Elyse Myers 05:58
Okay, actually, can you just pretend that you’re listening to a fully complete theme song here, I got really in my head. And I tried to make it perfect. And I couldn’t. So, this is going to be the theme song right here. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Funny Cuz It’s True. I’m Elyse Meyers. This week, I’m talking to Kaitlyn Bristowe, who is an entrepreneur, television personality, podcast host and the lead of the 11th season of The Bachelorette. Kaitlyn is also a great friend of mine, and was the very, very, very first episode of this podcast that I ever recorded. We talk about our first loves, changes in relationships and podcasting. So two things that are funny because they’re true. Number one, this was the very first interview that I conducted for this podcast. And I was so nervous that I had a bottle of champagne that the bachelor show had sent me like a few months prior, that I opened it and had a glass before our conversation, which actually feels so fitting because Kaitlyn is from the bachelor world, it just it made sense. And number two, the first time that Kaitlyn and I ever spoke to each other was when I was a guest on her podcast a year ago. And she shared with me right at the start of our interview that the night before she had had a little bit of a breakdown. And she was grateful that I was the person on the other end of that call that day. And then fast forward a year later. She’s the first guest on my podcast, and I had just brought myself up off my porch from a mental breakdown, before recording this first episode of the podcast. And I just remember looking at her and saying, I’m so grateful it’s you on the other end of this interview. And in the moment, I just didn’t realize how much of a full circle conversation that really was, which is really cool. So with that, let’s get into the interview. Kaitlyn, how are you? What have you been doing? I want to hear where in the world, you’re home, right?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 07:53
I’m actually weirdly home. I’m never home. But I’m home right now and for a little chunk of time, but I’m like soaking in all of the dog cuddles.
Elyse Myers 08:02
Okay, so today, I thought it’d be really fun to talk to you about like first loves, unrequited love all of the love. And I just want to start off with one question like, what was your first love? How old were you, tell me all of the things.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 08:17
So my first love was when I was oh my gosh, probably 15, maybe 14. And I remember my sister would drive this guy home from school. And he would yell random things out the window. And he was like, so funny. And you really really, really cute. And I was like I’m too young for him. I like had braces and he was older. And it was the first time I was like, wow, I think I could fall in love with a human being. And I thought he was just the greatest but he turned out to be the worst. He was so awful to me.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 08:45
I need to know so much more. What made him like the worst person on the planet?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 08:54
We were like so in love and we were together for probably like four years. We fell in love. We started dating.
Elyse Myers 09:04
Okay, so you know, when you’re supposed to be serious, and you’re supposed to be focusing on something very important, like a presentation or anything you’re not supposed to be laughing during. But you’re doing it with a friend. That is this conversation here. Am I asking for any details? No. Do I know the details? Nope. Absolutely not. So she’s just giving me information. And I’m like, perfect. That’s all I need to know. Moving on. Listening back. It’s making me laugh so hard.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 09:33
He was so great. And we did everything together. My family loved him and he would like wake up early and go to dance competitions with me and like support and was great. And then just after time I realized like sometimes he wouldn’t call me at night or like, he wouldn’t show up to school the next day and I’d be like, what is happening? Like, okay, so here’s what would happen. He was in musical theater so he would come back to school and I’d be like he’s drunk. Like, he went somewhere and drank. And now he asked to perform at this musical theater. And he was in the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. And he had on a vest, and he was drunk. And under that vest, which, I mean, a vest is showing your bare chest. Stripper names, written all over signed on his chest. And I was like, wait..
Elyse Myers 10:25
Wait, wait, wait. Okay, okay. How old was he? Like? 16?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 10:31
Yes, he had a fake ID. And there’s the strip club at a truck stop in Leduc, where I grew up called airways, the guys would always go.
Elyse Myers 10:41
Okay. I don’t even know how to start this. I’m actually pretty sure this is a storyline in Gossip Girl. I think this guy is actually Chuck Bass. Are you writing like a screenplay about this? Because I really feel like you should. And this was your first love. This was like, I would marry you. Like as a kid. You’re like, this is it. Do you think that like when you were like, you were in love with people? You’re like crushing on people? Do you think that you were the kind of person that like, you were like, I take you as you are. I give you everything? Like what kind of person were you in a relationship like that?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 11:16
Gosh, well, at the ripe old age of 14. No, at this time, like, let’s call me 16 at this point.
Elyse Myers 11:22
Oh my god at 16. I was chatting on AOL Instant Messenger. And I was seeing how many cheese balls I could fit in my mouth at one time without gunking up my braces.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 11:32
So I yeah, I think I was like, well, this is who he is. And I fell in love with him. And he was crazy. So this is just him being crazy. But like, I knew I wasn’t supposed to hurt like that. Like, I knew that relationships weren’t supposed to feel like that. But I loved him so much that I was like, Is this just what it is? Like? Is this just something you have to deal with when you’re in love is like, maybe the other person is terrible? Because I can’t help the way I feel. And this is how I feel. I love him.
Elyse Myers 11:59
When you’re 16 you’re not married, like any red flag should be like, this is done. We’re done now. But you don’t do that.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 12:07
No, your brain like isn’t developed. And I feel like our parents’ generation also like, was okay to ignore the red flags. And not dive deep into like, the psychological side of things and what that would mean for your future. So like, they were like, Oh, he’s just being a teenager and like, you know, they kind of had the blindfolds on too, like, they loved him, they thought he was great.
Elyse Myers 12:32
I think that because for my family, there was this like idea that like you’re dating to marry, and it puts so much pressure on the person that you were dating and also you so like, I think for me, that’s where the red flag blindness came from. And I started making excuses for people totally, like long before I should have like, why would you give that give and take in a dating relationship when you’re so young, but we just are like, this is it. This is the best I’m gonna get this is what you do. You know, labour love, like look past it.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 13:03
It sadly like starts insecurities so young because you’re like, is this what I deserve? Because if this is who I love, and this and he loves me, and this is the way I’m being treated, is this the kind of love I deserve?
Elyse Myers 13:16
Like dude, okay, so your first love 14-15 all the teens. Not a great situation. So the first person I ended up like, I never even dated him, but I was like, I love you. And he like destroyed me. Okay, destroyed. That’s a little that’s a little extreme. But, you know, affected me forever in all of my future relationships moving forward, and all of my self-confidence that I did or did not have. Yeah, definitely. Like, that idea of like, I have to make all these concessions in my brain for this person. We never it’s so funny explaining like, we never actually dated, because you know, those people that your heart is like, so open and like you just like, envelop their whole body with their hearts. Like, do you know what I mean? It was this person. And we never dated. And he was this person that I was like, This is gonna be my husband. He doesn’t actually even like me back. But he keeps me around. And he’s like, so kind. Like, you can lose people that are so kind in front of other people that you’re like, see, this is what I know him as, but then in private, they’re a completely different person. And you’re like, where did the person that was just at lunch? Like, where’s that guy?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 14:28
Yeah, and who’s the real one?
Elyse Myers 14:29
Yeah. And so you think the good one you want to believe the good one is the one that they are right? And then the person that’s a jerk is like, oh, he’s tired or like, Oh, he’s just like, had enough people for the day. And they end up just like destroying you.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 14:42
Not to like, quote the Kardashians, but I’m going to.
Elyse Myers 14:44
Please quote the Kardashians. I love the Kardashians, like in a non-ironic way.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 14:50
You know, I love them. Okay, great. And Chloe said, why do we keep making excuses for these people? And I’m like, That is so true. I’ve done that my whole life to like why am I making excuses for people when they’re just like terrible people.
Elyse Myers 17:17
Taking a break and we’ll be right back. So I guess I’m curious to know when you moved from that four year terribleness I guess like to what was like the first healthy relationship that you went into after that, like how what was that transition like for you?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 18:03
The first healthy relationship I’ve been in is with Jason.
Elyse Myers 18:07
Amazing. Jason is Kaitlyn’s fiancé by the way. Jason is in the Bachelor world but kind of bachelor adjacent to Caitlin. Caitlin was the Bachelorette. Jason was not a contestant on her season. He was a contestant on another bachelorette season. And then they connected afterwards. That’s how it should be.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 18:26
Well, yeah, it should. And then the next relation, I got into a couple other bad relationships, as we all do. Like, the one definitely had another like drinking problem. And he’s very nasty and mean and angry. And I like to drink. Like, clearly. I like to drink. But I’m like, I don’t have a problem.
Elyse Myers 18:46
Liking something is different than like, my life is unmanageable without it.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 18:50
Exactly. And yeah, so I had a couple like that. And then there’s the one that really rocked my world. That took me like five to seven years to get over.
Elyse Myers 19:00
Who is this person?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 19:02
He’s married with three children now? And yeah, it’s fine. But he was the one that like, that’s the one that destroyed me like I loved him to my core. And I definitely ruined it. I still have nothing but great things to say about him actually. And now looking back on it, and this is like a deeper conversation but like, I went 1,010% have PMDD, I claim that the devil takes over my body when I am PMS and like it’s premenstrual depression disorder, okay. And it I looked up the symptoms and one of the symptoms actually said it can ruin relationships. Oh my gosh, and I was like, holy crap. That was me.
Elyse Myers 19:49
Okay, really quick. According to a quick Google search, the internet says although PMS and PMDD both have physical and emotional symptoms. PMDD causes extreme mood shifts that can disrupt the daily life and damage relationships. That’s intense.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 20:04
I was a shell of myself in this relationship by the end because he played hockey and I had to kind of move wherever he was going and he bopped around a lot. And we ended up in Germany. And I was like, I can’t speak the language, I can’t get a job. I don’t have friends. He was always gone playing hockey. And like, I used to love cooking and going to the grocery store. And like, I didn’t even know what like certain oils were because nothing was in English. And I only had like this old phone at the time. Like, I couldn’t look things up. And I just became so lonely and felt useless. I was like, I meant to do bigger things in my life, and sit in an apartment in Germany and like, not know what my future is. And I got really, really, really, really depressed. But it was at least once a month, which now I look back on and I’m like, Oh my gosh, Ding ding ding. PMDD it’s clockwork, it’s every month.
Elyse Myers 20:58
How long did you guys date? And when did you guys move to Germany and you decided like, I can’t do this.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 21:06
Three years. I was 27. So 10 years ago, I still this is like, you want some headlines? I got one for you. I want him. I seriously think I picked Shawn. Because he looked and reminded me of my ex.
Elyse Myers 21:23
Okay, I’m so sorry. I know that we’re going so fast. So I’m gonna try and give some more context. So Caitlin was the lead. She was the bachelorette for season 11. And Shawn was the man that she chose at the end of the season to marry. So she got engaged to Shawn at the end of the show. That’s the Shawn that she’s talking about here. Okay, that is not surprising, okay. I know that it’s like that. It’s like feels like no, that makes all the sense in the world. It makes sense. Like, your brain is just trying to, like, I think redeem that pattern of fixing it, like you’re like, because you just said yourself like it was my fault. I ruined it kind of a thing. And it’s like, you’re probably retrying to use it.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 22:01
I did not know I was going to therapy. That is no, that’s amazing. I love therapy. That’s actually such a good point. I definitely blamed myself and hung on to a lot of shame for that relationship. And I thought this was my chance to like, look, I can make it right. And this can be what it should have been there and like not to take away from my relationship with Shawn. I deeply loved him as well. But I definitely think that was my initial thought and why I fell in love with him.
Elyse Myers 22:32
And that honestly, like, it’s probably why you stuck around for as long as you did as well.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 22:37
Yes. 100%. We were together for a really long time. Like, especially in the Bachelor world, it’s like usually, you either get married and have babies or it’s months.
Elyse Myers 22:46
Yeah. So the filming of the show how many weeks like did you guys know each other on the actual show? Just as like a Bachelorette, and bachelor viewer. Outside of that. It just feels like so much longer. And it’s always shocking to me to hear that.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 23:05
It’s 10 weeks, but it’s also like hours because like you’re dating so many other people and you’re trying to create a TV show. And you’re doing all these things where like your dates with them are not like real. They’re like a setup date. In a like fairy tale. And you are only talking about what the producers want you to talk about. And you’re like, like so at the end. I’ll never forget, we finally were together. We were engaged. We’re in this little hideout house. And I had to go and he was flying home and he was like, what’s your phone number? Like we just like didn’t even know each other. It was wild.
Elyse Myers 23:41
And with that piece of information by viewing experience of The Bachelor and Bachelorette will never be the same. It’s wild to me that you guys dated for that short amount of time got engaged. And then the length of time after the show with that was, that was like three years. I had no idea you guys were engaged that long. I am living for this insider information. I have been a fan of The Bachelor franchise since I was like 13 years old. And hearing all of this information I feel like is a little illegal. I know it’s not but I just feel like in the middle of the night tonight The Bachelor police are going to knock down my door and be like, you know too much. We’re going to wipe your brain and clean. This is amazing.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 24:21
Yes, we were I know. I know. It’s actually it was a really long time if you think about it. I didn’t want it to be a failed relationship. personally but also from the show like I was like I don’t want to be one of those like, where’s another Bachelorette? But it was like I actually look at that relationship is not a failure. It was like we were really actually in love it was just to, why am I protecting him? He was also awful.
Elyse Myers 26:01
You don’t need to protect anybody here if they were not great. Just say that. It’s all good.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 26:05
I mean, I wasn’t great, either by the end, he was right. really not great to me. And it was really sad for me because I wanted it to work so badly.
Elyse Myers 27:06
We got to take a quick break, but we will be right back. I imagine you would have wanted to get out of the bachelor world after your engagement and you were like last thing I want is somebody from the bachelor. So what I don’t know what did that process look like for you?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 28:01
Yeah, I was definitely like not wanting to like go back into the bachelor world and date somebody from that not because I think I’m above it or because no one’s great that comes out of that, so many great people come out of that show. But I had seen so many people change from that show. Oh, yeah. I’m also very competitive person. So I, I feel like in my life, my purpose was to like my purpose is to have a voice. Yeah. And through my whole life, I had chased these guys who had so much going on for them. And I was attracted to that. But I never had my own thing going on. Where now I was like, okay, this is my chance to like, establish myself and like build a career and have my voice and have a podcast and like, like rock the shit out of this. This world that I’ve been. And I didn’t want to have somebody else that was going to come in the way of that.
Elyse Myers 29:00
You don’t want to compete with that person in the same space. It’s like doing it’s like working the same job with someone you’re dating. You don’t want to work in the same company.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 29:07
So, I selfishly didn’t want to go into the bachelor world because of that. And I think it’s okay to admit that or admit that I’m I was selfish in that way. Because I’d never done something for myself. And like, I felt established or, like it was just like, I was doing it for me, finally. And so then when I met Jason, it felt so different because he like is already established and what he’s doing in his career. He’s the VP of a bank in Seattle. I wasn’t like, oh, that I’m gonna date this guy. I was just like, wow, he seems different than like a lot of guys that come off the show.
Elyse Myers 29:43
Where did you meet him?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 29:46
I didn’t know that. I had him as a guest. That’s why he proposed on the podcast because he was like, too much. I know, but at least I didn’t like him when I just kept thinking like, Oh, this guy’s going to be like, really good for somebody or he should be the bachelor. Like, that’s what I kept thinking.
Elyse Myers 30:07
When he was talking. Did you think he was like cute or you were like, This is great info. That’s it.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 30:12
Yeah, I thought he was cute. But like, I wasn’t like, oh, I’m into this. Yeah, I was kind of like, Oh, I think we might be friends. Like, that’s what it was. And he left the podcast recording and called his mom and said, I think I just met my wife. And I called my friend and I think they need to make that guy The Bachelor.
Elyse Myers 30:36
That’s the best. So as we all have previously discussed, roast beef was mainly on my mind after Jonas and I met.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 30:45
Actually a challenging thing in our relationship is now navigating a hard boundary that I said at the beginning for myself and a very big non-negotiable, that I didn’t want to be with somebody in this world. And now he’s like, headfirst like, yeah, deep diving into it. And it’s hard, but like, obviously, you want to be together. It’s not, that’s not going to ruin our relationship.
Elyse Myers 31:10
What does that look like at the beginning? Like, were you kind of honest with him? And were like, hey, I don’t actually want to date someone in bachelor worlds, this is gonna have to be perfect. Like, what did those conversations look like?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 31:20
Like when I first started having feelings for him? I was like, no,
Elyse Myers 31:24
I don’t receive that. No, thank you.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 31:26
The thing was, he was not in that world yet. And he was still going to work every day, Monday to Friday, nine to five, like now I know that he was miserable doing that job. And he’s actually doing things that he wants to be doing now. So it’s great. And I’m the whole reason. Well, he wanted to leave his job, but I’m a big reason that he left because I’m inappropriate. I say inappropriate things on my podcast all the time.
Elyse Myers 31:51
You were like a liability to his like, business career type?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 31:57
I was, because I talked about dry humping him while I was on my period. And how he like, yeah, and then his boss was like, Hey, have you Googled yourself lately? And I love how Jason was like, no, even though he has like Google notifications, if he gets tagged and everything it’s like on.
Elyse Myers 32:14
He’s like, I don’t even know what Google is. I’ve never even heard of Google.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 32:18
Yeah, who’s Google? So I was with him when his boss called. And they were like, kinda like, you have to pick like, what life you’re gonna live here. Because we can’t have like the VP of our bank making headlines like this. He’s like, this bank is run by a woman. And this is yeah, my girlfriend talking about being on her period, which happens to every woman like and why is that embarrassing? I didn’t think it was.
Elyse Myers 32:47
That’s why honestly, I think that I connected with you so well was because you are so unapologetic about who you are, that it makes me feel proud to be who I am, because you are who you are. And like, I think that the moment we can kind of get to that place where we feel like we don’t have to change who we are, what we look like what we say, our personality, the way we smell, like, we don’t have to change those things about ourselves to be loved and listen to like, especially as women like, I think that as a woman, I have felt this pressure to be put together to be listened to, and I am so over that. Like, if you don’t want to listen to what I have to say then don’t listen, don’t but I am just gonna say it. And like, that’s your choice, not mine. And like for you with you. And with Jason, like watching you two together is so cool. It’s just very powerful for me, because you two are very separate people. That have chosen to be in a relationship together and have chosen each other. And like, do you think that there’s a part of this relationship that’s successful, because you met now? Like, if you met 10 years ago, would it have been successful? Or what does that look like at the beginning of it? Really? I’m confident in who I am.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 33:58
Yeah, you know what I was the most confident in myself before I went on The Bachelor. I was like, I had done so much work on myself because of that relationship that ended like that was like such a hard process for me to go through. It was like grieving somebody and the hockey player life. Yeah, yeah, it was like grieving a person and a life that I thought I was gonna have, and all these things that I was so depressed, and I had to work so hard to building myself back up, and I went to therapy so much, and I like, really got myself back on my feet like, because when we broke up, I didn’t have a job. I didn’t have $5 to my name. I didn’t have an education. I didn’t have a plan. I had nothing. And at the age of 27, you think like, what I’m such a loser. And so I really had to build myself up. I was at a point where I literally was like, I’m going on The Bachelor and this guy is gonna fall in love with me because I’m awesome. And then the show kind of broke down again. You know, having all these eyes on me and I started getting insecure again.
Elyse Myers 34:58
You’re like, watch this confident. queen walk into the bachelor and kill it. And it’s like next minute, you’re like, I have never been more depressed.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 35:07
That was literally me. I was like, I came out of that limo guns blazing being like, watch out everybody here she comes home. Oh my god. But I got back to that point. And yeah, it just felt like at this point in my life, I feel like I’m like, in a place to have a successful relationship. Because I’ve established who I am as a human being in work in my life. I’m okay with being insecure. I think that’s part of life.
Elyse Myers 35:34
I love that.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 35:35
I’m like, okay, with all these things. Now, instead of like, feeling like, if I was insecure in my other relationships, I’d be like, what’s wrong with me? And why am I doing this? And why am I behaving this way? Where now I’m like, of course, like, this makes so much sense. And you’re a human being and you’re allowed to be insecure, who isn’t like, it’s okay.
Elyse Myers 35:51
I think that okay, so you’re, you’re saying like, I’m okay with being insecure. I think that’s something that people don’t actually understand. It’s like, they feel insecurity. And they think I have to fix this. When actually, it’s like, you just have to be secure with being insecure. Like, yes, you’re a human being, yeah, you are going to perceive things in the world that is going to like affect your confidence. So it’s not the fact that like, you’re going to feel that way. It’s like, what do you do after you feel that way. For you, with Jason, I guess what would be the biggest thing that you’ve taken away from this healthy relationship compared to the relationships that you’ve had in the past.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 36:29
I think I’ve always been afraid of change in relationships, or people changing or, and I never looked at it in a way of like, it could be just growth and you can grow together. And you can go through like seasons in your own relationship. Because I do see how much things can change. Like, if we all look back over the last two years of our life, how much has changed, it’s wild.
Elyse Myers 36:52
I think that there is something so beautiful about being with somebody so long that you both get to change together. I don’t know if I expected that to be one of my favorite things about being in a relationship. Because earlier in my life, I thought I had to just become this perfect person before I got married, so I could be the perfect spouse. Now being in marriage for about four years, I’ve learned that even four years down the road, like we are different people than when we met then when we got engaged then when we got married, but when we had our first kid, we’ve become different people along that journey together. And it’s really, really special that you both get to champion each other on at each big life event like that. Having a safe person. And Jonas, where I know I’m not going to run away from this, we are going to do this together is a very powerful thing. And I’m yeah, I’m just beyond grateful for a partner like him. So, love you, Jonas. We’re dead people than we went into, like, 2019.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 37:57
It’s so true, all of us. It’s like, so important to know that like, so much can change. And, and that is okay. And we can go through seasons in the relationship and in our own selves, and still choose each other. And you don’t always have to just like live in fear of a relationship failing because of that, like I’ve all of my relationships, I’ve just been in fear. Because what if I change? Or what if they change? And what if they don’t stand by me when I’m going through a rough season? Or like, what if this is too hard on them? And what if it’s too hard on me where this one, it’s like, it feels like we’ve already like committed to that choice of like, Yeah, going through the seasons together,
Elyse Myers 38:34
this person is going to stick it out with you. Yeah, he’s like, you’re totally. And then I have one more question that I didn’t plan this, but I just like was really curious, what are you most excited for? I guess, in the next year, or like, what is something you’re like, I really want to do this or can’t wait to do this something you’re really looking forward to?
Kaitlyn Bristowe 38:50
I’m really excited because I’ve worked so hard on Sweden sparrows, like I did not realize how hard that was gonna be to build a wine brand because I didn’t want to slap my name on something and like, call it mine. And so I was like, No, I want to like create this wine myself. And I want to be on every business call. And I want to get like, my own business education just from being on these calls. And I want to learn everything. And I’m really excited because I think we’re gonna start being in retail and like, able for people to just go to like to the grocery store. And we just signed with like a huge distributor, and I’m just so excited.
Elyse Myers 39:28
Oh my gosh, so excited. I’m so excited. I love it. Well, thank you so much, Kaitlyn. It’s been an honor to talk.
Kaitlyn Bristowe 39:35
Thank you for having me. Truly. You’re amazing. That started my day off right. Let me tell you what, love you.
Elyse Myers 39:47
Oh my gosh, we did it. This was the very first interview that we ever did for funding because it’s true. And I will never forget how nervous I was. I was shaking The entire time. I was so grateful that Kaitlyn’s face loaded up in my Zoom screen and she was the first person I was tackling this with. And sometimes I forget that we’ve never met in person, because we just talked so much. And also, we connect so well, that I genuinely forget we’ve never met in person. So we are going to have to make that happen. Eventually. Thank you so much for listening to my conversation with Caitlin. And make sure to check out her podcast off the vine, wherever you’re listening right now.
Hey, if you want more funny because it’s true, just subscribe to Lemonada Premium on Apple podcasts. Funny Cuz It’s True is a Lemonada Media and Powderkeg production. The show is produced by Claire Jones, Zoe Dennis and […], our associate producer is Tiffany Buoy. Rachel Neil is our senior director of new content and our VP of weekly production is Steve Nelson. Executive Producers are Stephanie Wittels Wachs, Jessica Cordova Kramer, Paul Feig, Laura Fisher, […] and me Elyse Myers. The show is mixed by Brian Castillo and Johnny Evans. Our theme song music was written by me and scored by Xander Singh.