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In this episode, X Mayo catches up with TechCrunch reporter and host of the podcast Found, Dominic-Madori Davis, to talk about the plight of modern dating. Dominic gets candid about her experiences with dating apps and their skyrocketing prices, her most expensive relationship with a crypto guy, and why dating as a young, professional Black woman in NYC is so expensive. By the end of the conversation, Dom and X devise plans for their own dating app and talk about ways to meet the love of your life for free.

This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures, an early-stage global investment firm backing mission-driven entrepreneurs and industry influencers working toward a fair finance system for all. Learn more at flourishventures.com.

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Follow Dominic-Madori on Twitter @DominicMadori. You can find out more about her podcast Found at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/found/id1561051074.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Speaker 3, Dominic-Madori Davis, X Mayo, Speaker 2, Speaker 5, Speaker 1, Speaker 4

Speaker 1  00:56

What would you say is the state of dating apps?

 

Speaker 2  01:36

They’re wretches. They’re horrible.

 

Speaker 3  01:38

It’s a competition almost. It’s stressful.

 

Speaker 4  01:41

Yeah, it is, like, miserable, and they usually make me pretty depressed.

 

Speaker 1  01:44

Have you ever paid for a dating app?

 

Speaker 4  01:46

No, I’ve always been very curious too, but I don’t want to be the person who’s like, paid for a dating app.

 

Speaker 5  01:52

I have it, but my ex’s brother, he would pay for, like, the most premium you could get, and then he would just, like, sit there and swipe all of them as fast as he could. Like, it was like a gamete. He was kind of a man whore. I would call him.

 

X Mayo  02:13

Welcome back to The Dough, I’m your host, X Mayo, and we’re not all about money here. No honey, we’re all about the romance too. I bet you didn’t think The Dough would have a love episode just for you, huh? Now, let me set the scene. If you guys didn’t notice, I’m doing my quiet storm voice. Oh yeah, you got that hot date on a Friday, yeah? With that fine ass, super like you meant on Tinder select. Finally, that $499 every month is paying off. So here we are checking out with Klarna, with all your date night options from Shein. You know the vibe, you’re gonna look so good, and just wait until dessert when you get to show off that new Fenty set you bought on afterpay. Okay, I’m so fucking sorry, guys. I really gotta keep that shit up. Paying hundreds of dollars to go on a date with the person you barely know. It’s not sexy to me. It’s nice not me nah, not to mention the money it took you just to get the damn date. Child, listen dating apps are pricey AF nowadays, Tinder has a tier called select that costs $499 a month. The league has one that costs $400 for three months. And now there’s even Luso, an app for the wealthy, which costs $1,000 yes, you guessed it, per month. God damn. Imagine my surprise when I read that the average American invests $120,000 throughout their lifetime, all in the name of love. Girl, I get that from God for free. I wake up and he love me. I love him. It’s just free. That’s how I like it. And in 2022 22% of millennials and 19% of Gen Z years admitted to having dating debt. Yeah, that’s right, that shit is a real term. Now you’re probably asking yourself, X, what the fuck is dating debt? Well, let me tell you, Diane, I know she listening every time you put an expensive dating app subscription on a credit card or get a new date night outfit on afterpay, that is dating debt, and in this generation, when things are more expensive than they’ve ever been, that shits adding up girl today, we’re talking to someone who swore off dating apps, and she’s my queen. Her name is Dominic-Madori Davis, she is a senior reporter at TechCrunch, a member of Forbes 30, under 30, class of 2024, you see it, and a host of the financial podcast found she’s talking to us about how the exclusivity of the apps affected her and how dating IRL can be just as expensive if you don’t have any standards. So get you a glass of wine, child, I will say some prosciutto, some brie, and then invite me over. Okay, and get comfortable, because we’re going to get real about the price of love.

 

X Mayo  05:21

Keisha Cole, thank you so much for approving that. Hi, Dominic. Welcome to The Dough. So we start every episode asking guests where the hell their money went this week. But I want to change the question for this episode. Okay, so what have you bought in the name of self care this week?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  05:42

Ooh, in the name of self care. Oh my gosh, ooh. Well, actually, yesterday, I was supposed to be going to some media events, and I saw there was a line to get in, and I, like, looked at the line, and then I looked up there was like a champagne bar across the street. And I was like, I think God’s calling me in a different direction. So I walked into the champagne bar and got a flight of champagne, and I was like, this is self care. I was like, this is for the, this is for the month. I was like, I needed this.

 

X Mayo  06:15

Yes, oh, I love that. I love that. Anytime you see champagne, you say, clearly, God is speaking to me right now.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  06:21

Why else would he show me the Champa a champagne bar? I’m there.

 

X Mayo  06:25

SSo clearly across the street, all you’ll do is take over steps the street. Let me know I love that for you. Can we talk about what a shit show the dating world is right now? Like Dom, oh, who? It’s because the way that y’all be hating on buffalo blast at cheesecake really blows my fucking mind, because here’s here’s my thing Dom, because we’re gonna get to it. Okay, my issue is I don’t even know if this motherfucker I’m going on a date with is worth my Fenty concealer, correct, my Nars blush. So to even be like, okay, I don’t even know if I want to go on this fancy as dinner. I don’t know if you worth all you worth all this damn effort, right? Like, why we can’t hit a look. I love a coffee date. And there’s nothing wrong with cheesecake. I just think the world is just, honey, get the mics. I just get them all out. I someone said they’re dropping mics in the black community like they did crack in the 80s, and I agree.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  07:19

No, I agree  I would actually prefer, like, a little coffee. I don’t want to be trapped with a guy for like, a three course meal. I would rather have, like, I need to vet you first. So I don’t want to do a whole meal with you. We need to, like, ease into that. Like, let’s meet at a coffee shop.

 

X Mayo  07:34

Absolutely okay, so let’s get into the state of the apps these days. Okay, oh, I hate them, but we’re gonna talk about we’re gonna talk about it. Okay, so because it seems like the era of free dating apps is finito, right? Like I paid for Raya. It was so stupid. We’re gonna get into that later. My riot experience, and it just feels like everyone’s paying to be seen, because their free versions aren’t even, like usable, like the interface is all fucked up, like you got to send a pigeon with a note on a free one. It’s just, it’s so stupid. So meanwhile, the apps are making a fortune off of us, right? People like me. You everyone else that’s like, interested in dating wants people that are vetted. You know, apps like rye and stuff like that, like you have to be referred all of that. Okay, what’s the state of them from your perspective, though? Just in general?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  08:20

I mean, it’s a disaster. All of my friends are on them, and it’s a disaster right now, I have friends who pay for dating apps, but see, I’m like, all the money that I would pay for a dating app, I could just take myself out to dinner. So I’m like, but I’m also very much a meet me in the wild type girl, so like, you’re most likely gonna find me at a bar or something like that. I’m like, let’s just meet randomly at a bar and talk like, randomly about something.

 

X Mayo  08:46

Oh, I love that. That’s your perspective. I feel the same way too, when I thought it’s just because, like, my age, like, I’m just like, old school in that way, it’s just kind of like, no, let’s meet out in real world. Let’s touch grass. But it’s nice to hear that from someone else as well. I don’t know there are a lot of people that have been successful on these apps, but there’s so few and far between.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  09:06

Yeah, I know, people who’ve gotten married from it, but like, my thing is, is like, you’re judging somebody based off of like, the qualities that they want to show you, or like you’re looking at a photo. I don’t think I’m that photogenic, so I’m like, you should see me in real life, I think so. It’s like, I wouldn’t want someone judging me based off of a photo or an awkward caption.

 

X Mayo  09:28

Now I feel bad because I did judge some people, but I didn’t even think about like, damn, you might be a 10 in person. I might see you in person. Be like, Oh, yes, but some people don’t photograph where they don’t know their lighting, they don’t know their poses. Like, yeah, that’s true.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  09:41

Especially some some guys out there, some guys I’m like.

 

X Mayo  09:44

Oh my god.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  09:44

Shut down the account. Like, what am I looking at? But they’re probably like.

 

X Mayo  09:49

I reported you. I reported you for this post. This is inappropriate.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  09:53

But you know this, then you beat them in real life, and it’s like, oh, you have like, you just don’t know your angles.

 

X Mayo  09:58

Right, and like, do I need to be with someone who knows their angles, and you need to know how to have a job. You know how to fucking communicate. I need someone who knows their therapist, right? Oh, my god. Dom should we make an app? We should make it. We should. We should make an app that is based upon you getting referred by your therapist.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  10:19

Ooh, no, that’s a good app.

 

X Mayo  10:21

That lets me know, like, only people are on there, their therapist said they’re allowed to date ladies, they’re ready.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  10:27

Absolutely. That would be interesting.

 

X Mayo  10:30

We need to do that. Okay, so we’re gonna work on that after the show. So we’re seeing a rise in these, like, super exclusive apps, the one I told you about, like, Raya, and there’s another one called the league that I recently got beyond it’s like, wild. It’s like, super duper picky. It’s just, I think it’s like, really damaging to the dating pool and the apps. So a Raya, you need a personal referral to join. And so I’ve heard that you use Raya Dom. Is that true?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  10:57

I, my friend, put me on Raya, and then, in addition to me just being the ugliest person on the app, second of all, as soon as I found out I had the […]

 

X Mayo  11:06

You are not ugly, what are you talking about?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  11:10

I was looking to the people, and I was like, oh yeah. I was like, actually, let me just back out for a moment.

 

X Mayo  11:16

Like, no, I was on there. Wait, how much do they charge us for it? I forgot it off.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  11:21

As soon as I found out there was a charge.

 

X Mayo  11:23

$24?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  11:24

It was like, 1999 a month, or something like that. And I was like, no, I’m not gonna pay to be insecure. Like, that’s crazy. So that’s insane.

 

X Mayo  11:34

Okay, so how did you get on, like, how did you find out about it? And then who referred you?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  11:38

My friend’s a publicist, and so she had like, a referral code, and then she sent me the referral code. And I was like, oh, you know, this is that app everyone’s talking about. So I got on, and it was cool. I mostly just, I wanted to see what other journalists were on it, because I wanted to see, like, who here, you know, like, who’s out here in the in the streets. So I just wanted to see, like, who was there. And then after I did that, I went to the athlete page, obviously. And so I was looking at the athletes, and then I was like, oh yeah. I’m like, I don’t know. I’m I’m kind of socially awkward. I immediately, but it was that 1999 charge that really ushered me.

 

X Mayo  12:11

Oh no, that hit it home. That’ll do it to anybody. So who did you see on it? And what was your experience like as a black woman on there? Like, were you like, not getting matched? Were you getting matched with a specific archetype or what?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  12:24

That’s another thing. Another reason why I’m not really on the apps is because, as a black woman, one of I remember me and my friends, we made, you know, she’s white, and we both made hinge accounts as like a joke to see like, who would get or just like, to see who was on there. And I remember, like, within five seconds, she got, like, 30 matches, and I only got five. And I was like, that’s another reason why I don’t want to use the apps. Because aren’t there studies that show that, I think it’s black women in particular, we suffer the most on these apps in terms of people not matching up us, people not wanting to talk to us. And that’s just another that’s another like, if I have, the ability to not have to deal with that discomfort. I don’t deal with it. I don’t want to be on the apps. I don’t want to deal with that. I faceted it every day in my personal life, so I don’t need to. I don’t need another app just telling me what I already know.

 

X Mayo  13:13

And you don’t need to pay 1999 for that shit. Now Dom, I was on there and it was wild. Either they were I was getting like, no play or just, like, seeing people that I know because, like, within your radius, and I live in Hollywood. So it was a lot of people that I knew, or I was matching with white men, who definitely, definitely say nigga at the Drake concert. And so I was like, no. And I’m a big black woman, and my body is on there. Like, I I don’t believe in catfishing. I love myself. I love my body. You need to know. And I really want to do that, because for this specific app within Raya, most of the girls that we’re seeing, it was like, all little mini Kardashian look alikes. So that was like, that was mostly what was on there. And a lot of these men, I know that that’s what they’re looking for. So I did make a very good friend. He’s an amazing artist and rapper from Detroit, and that was like, the bet. After that. I was like, maybe that this was all that I was supposed to do it for. And then other people were like, X, you can mean industry I was like, I know a lot of industry people, and if there’s other industry people, I’m gonna see them at an industry event, why am I paying this fucking money? I’m trying to get I’m trying to date. I’ve never dated, Dom like, I come from church, born and raised, so I’ve always been like, oh, I have to get married. Now we’ve dismantled that shit and all that religious rhetoric, but now I’m just kind of like, so I just want to date. And I was not doing that. And I was like, I’m not paying for that. So, yeah, I got out that shit too.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  14:43

Yeah, I don’t need to pay for that, not for that.

 

X Mayo  14:50

All right, y’all, it’s about that time. We’re gonna take a quick break, and when we get back, baby, I got some tea to spill, we’re gonna talk about the relationship, Dom. Should have written off in her taxes. Girl, it is juicy. Come back, okay.

 

16:26

But what do you think Dom that motivates people to pay that much damn money?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  17:53

I mean, one of my friends who was, like, really into dating apps, you know, she was scheduling, like a date a week. She just really want it to find someone, and really want it companion. And so that was, I think tha’s really it. I do think that maybe there is something to say about the loneliness epidemic that we’re having and our constant need for community, and how a lot of these dating apps, like the membership tiers, they seem to be like little members clubs in and of themselves, and I think it gives people, especially people who feel isolated, it helps them kind of, I don’t know, go out and get out a little bit more, I have to say, wait, I saw online that some people were were scheduling a lot of dates so that they could get free dinners.

 

X Mayo  18:40

Inappropriate. Let’s get into it. I think that is so fucked up. I think it’s terrible. I think that the girls have allowed city girls, who I love, city girls, to get into their head. And even JT was on a live and she was like, I’d be telling my man, like, boo, it’s just for the image. I’d be like, Fuck niggas getting money. That’s just for the image, babe, it’s a city girl like she even just said that like this. These are lyrics, not saying that they’ve never lived by them or anything like that. But I think that these women are taking celebrities who are rapping songs and taking those lyrics as Bible, and it’s just like, are you actually looking for love, or are you actually broke and hungry? Okay, because I don’t think that it’s fair to require any man or person, because, you know, they are not, uh, had non heteronormative relationships out there, to require them to express the amount of interest in you via a lobster dinner, right? Like, it’s like, girl, I don’t know you from Adam, like, I don’t know anything about you. So I think that that’s not, I don’t think that that’s fair, and I think it’s wild that women are actually doing that, and that they are playing with people’s emotions like, that’s how you I hate to take it there, but that’s how you get hurt. You feel me like playing with people’s feelings. When people pay for money, they take. That very seriously, and you out here, not interested in this man or woman, and just being like, you should pay X amount of dollars. Like, if you really like me, I don’t even know you like and there’s so many girls on Tiktok Dom, so many girls on Instagram me, and like, he wanted to take me out. And he I was like, Okay, take me out. And I this one girl. She was like, I’m hungry, can you send me money for lunch, and he sent me, like, $30 it was just like, are you? You need more than $30 for lunch? This is insane. This is wild.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  20:28

I definitely think there’s so many unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating in general, in terms of, like, seeing your partner as a person, like a multifaceted, three dimensional person, in terms of, like, you know, I don’t think we would like it if some person wanted to date us solely for the reason of getting a free meal. I think that would actually hurt, right? That would hurt a lot.

 

X Mayo  20:48

Yeah, that’s mean.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  20:50

But, you know, it’s also interesting. And there I have been. I’m not on Tiktok, but I’ve, I have been seeing as it filters onto twitter.

 

X Mayo  20:59

Instagram for me, yeah.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  21:00

Like, people definitely need to be really careful. Because I know me and my friend, when we hit the bar scene, there’s always guys at the bar, and especially like older guys. There’s always guys that want to buy you, you know, drinks or dinner or something. There’s always that guy who who can fly you out. You got to be careful with those guys. Like, there’s some things. There was an interesting discourse on Twitter when someone was, like, a lot of these girls think that they want that sugar daddy lifestyle, but you don’t. You definitely need to be careful and just, you know, just be cautious with guys who are offering you everything, because it’s kind of like, well, what do they want?

 

X Mayo  21:38

But I think you should not allow a man to fly you nowhere that you can’t afford your motherfucking self. Because, let me tell you, I can afford delta one by my goddamn self, this hotel you pissed me off. I can get another room at another goddamn place. I can afford a Uber, I can get a drive. I can do whatever I and that, and I’m not saying I can do that in every country right now. So I wouldn’t allow him to fly me anywhere that I couldn’t afford to handle on my own.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  22:04

That will that’s why I was saying people should be careful. I’ve also implemented that rule, especially since, like, you know, I’m self sufficient. I can take care of myself. I don’t want any I don’t want any guy thinking that there’s a power, you know, balance here that like, oh, well, you have to do this because I’m taking to you to luku. Like, I can afford, I can go there by myself. Like, I definitely don’t want anybody thinking that I need them to take me places, or I need them to do this for me, because, you know, I’m an independent woman, like, we’re partners, like, where I’m not, like, no, that. So that’s a new that’s something that I’ve slowly put into place these past few years.

 

X Mayo  22:40

Yeah, no, you have to do that because I want something complimentary, not supplementary, right? In a partner.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  22:46

The last thing I want, I’m just thinking about, the last thing I would want is to even be stuck in a hotel room in Paris with a guy I don’t really like, like, that seems like I don’t. I’m not me at the embassy saying, send me home. Biden, like I don’t. I do not like, no, we have to get a separate notch.

 

X Mayo  23:01

You like, do spirit, got any straight flights from pariston? Oh, so they gotta drop me off in Canada, take me to Missouri and then back to New York, okay?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  23:11

I gotta do that, then, no.

 

X Mayo  23:13

But I would like to know like, so what is, what was like your most expensive relationship? Was there ever a guy that was like, okay, you know what, we go Dutch all the time. And he was, like, always ordering steak and lobster with the goldflake truffle butter.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  23:29

Oh yeah, so there was this one guy who worked for a hedge fund and did crypto, yeah, and he, I’m just because his whole thing was that he didn’t believe in, like, splitting, or he didn’t believe in, like, paying for women and all these things. Like, he told me that he once wouldn’t even get like, an ex girlfriend, an Uber or something like that. Like, he was really weird about it. And at first I was like, I was like, oh, maybe this is the new age of dating, where men and women are equal, blah, I don’t know, like, and, and so, like, I but it got to be like, so insane. Like, first of all, I live uptown. He lived downtown. That’s a long distance relationship to me.

 

X Mayo  24:10

Absolutely.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  24:11

And so I was like, Ubering to him. That cost money. I was splitting. He had terrible taste in restaurants, so I had to fix that. So I had to up him up a bit, but I was paying for upping him up a bit, and because we had to split everything. And he it was, it was just too expensive, too way, too expensive. I shouldn’t like I was.

 

X Mayo  24:30

Was, this was, and this was a white man.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  24:32

Yeah, this was a white guy who worked for a hedge fund.

 

X Mayo  24:35

I knew as soon as he said, hedge fund crypto, I already saw that flannel t shirt.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  24:39

And, yeah, that.

 

X Mayo  24:41

Yeah, and those Nike trainers, um, he also does improv, I’m sure. Um, here’s the thing Dom I listen. I am a hypocrite. Okay, as much as I would like smash the patriarchy. If any man is in my house, you must take out this trash, please. Like, so when it comes to I am a walking contradiction. So I just feel like, when it comes to men and we’re dating, and especially in the beginning, I feel like, you should pay most I feel like initially and in the beginning. And here’s the thing, I’m not even a lot of my favorite spots be like hole in the walls. Yes, I would love a wine and dine. But because Dom I was in fucking New York and went to this spot that I’m gonna tell you about after, and I pay fucking $600 for like, four things. I fucking wind and die myself. I fucking ball out on me. I don’t give a shit. So I’ve had a lot of these nice ass places, and my mom introduced me to that very early on. So it’s just kind of like, even though we came from the hood, you know, she got got a good check, you know, my dad got a bonus, or whatever, from his job, we going to crustacean, you know, like, don’t, you know? Like, we definitely had a balance. So for me, it’s just kind of like, who raised you? Like, what do you mean, split everything? It’s like, you don’t value me enough that you want to take care like, I don’t know, I’m very old school in that way, like you should want to take care, period. And I heteronormative relationship. I’m sorry. There are specific dynamics, and it makes the shit work, I’m sorry.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  26:13

No, I used to tell people that I could write this guy off on my taxes. I was like, they need to put that down. Like they need to. I don’t know what I would file it under, but just like I was donating to someone, like, that’s crazy.

 

X Mayo  26:25

He said, I hear you beat up black, but I’m the light that keep the streets on like.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  26:29

But I also have been telling people I’m like, with this gender and racial wage gap, you know, you make more than me.

 

X Mayo  26:34

That’s what laid me, that’s what got me about him. You are hedged from crypto ass motherfucker, and you ain’t sitting here taking me out to carbonara, to fucking austeria, marine, what?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  26:47

Police, we got one right there. Like I’m sending them to him.

 

X Mayo  26:53

No, he must do five to 10 at Rutgers in the hall.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  26:56

Truly, he knows too I’m testifying. Hashtag, justice for Donnie.

 

X Mayo  27:00

I’m sorry. No, this is inappropriate. It’s so bad. Okay, so have you ever just known that you spent way too much money on a date with him? Like, as like, as you guys are ordering, you’re like, okay, and okay, we’re gonna get a dessert. Okay, cool. Like you were, like, tracking in your brain.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  27:18

Um, I’m trying to think, I don’t think so, because I was also, I also, like, the food. So I was like, if anything, I’m enjoying myself, what was getting me was the Uber rides. Because it was like, $30 there, $30 back, that’s $60 for.

 

X Mayo  27:36

One day.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  27:37

Yeah, I was like, I don’t know. That’s when I was like, okay, that in addition to the cost of eating out, I was like, I don’t know if I like this at all.

 

X Mayo  27:49

So the Ubers were the cutoff. That’s when you’re like, I’m not paying for another motherfucking thing.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  27:54

Well, I had to, like, think, do I actually want to see him? I remember we were at like, a restaurant, a restaurant that I picked. And I remember just thinking. I was like, what is this? And then he was all like, um, he was like, Oh, I actually don’t really feel anything for you, but can you still invite me to your events? And I was like, this is just an unbelievable though. Like, I Oh, beam me up. Because I was like, this is just such a waste of my tie. I was like, Oh my gosh. I tried inviting a friend there, like, last month. I was like, hey, I really like this place, but, you know, I had an instance at this, at it, so, like, I kind of need to cleanse the place. I want to go back for the oysters. Because I was like, imagine just saying, like, Hey, I don’t really like you, but can you keep taking me to all of your events? And I was like, why would I do that? The entire, why would I do that?

 

X Mayo  28:46

Wow, the entire crazy to think. And, oh my god. And how old were you down when this happened?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  28:52

Lord, this was right after the pandemic, maybe like 24-25?

 

X Mayo  28:56

I learned a lot, and coming off the yeah, 24 baby, and coming off the pandemic, I think we learned so much. And you know what? It’s a blessing disguise. Okay, it all worked for you good. You know what? You don’t want. You know what to look for. And you’re like, Absolutely not. And you know that this is not a thing to where it’s like, oh yeah, this is a new age dating thing. We’re just splitting stuff. It’s like, no. He just wasn’t shit, no. And hedge fund and crypto, like, sir, and you’re, oh, you’re white man, you make so much more money than me. Get out of here. On that note, y’all don’t go nowhere. Okay? I mean, it’s because when we come back from this break, we’re going to talk about how to date in the real world for free. Well, almost free.

 

29:59

So Dom, if we’re not on apps and spending all our coins to get likes, how do we meet people for the free free?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  31:56

I then I just go to the bar.

 

X Mayo  32:01

I love the free champagne bar across the street.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  32:04

Well, first of all, I want to say my friend, she goes on a lot of Tinder dates, and sometimes she sometimes, I think, sometimes, like, what happened one time she asked the guy to bring a friend, and so he brought, like, his co worker, and we had, like, a double date. And that was fun. That was a fun night. But other than that, her and I, we just go to bars, and then we sit there, and we have this thing where we get one drink, and then we close out, and then we just kind of sit there and talk. And then you we meet a lot of people, because, like, especially when you go to, like, hotel bars, there’s, like, a lot of people that are there, you know, and.

 

X Mayo  32:38

Maybe they’re in and out, smart, smart, yeah.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  32:41

And you start talking to people, and that’s how we meet, that’s how we do it. But it’s also like nothing has come from that, because we’re both still alone. So I don’t know, but we do have memories. We have a lot of memories that are not like awful online dating experiences.

 

X Mayo  32:59

But you’re putting yourself out there, which I think is great, because I kind of see it as a job application, even though I say, yes, I want this job, and I really want and I want to manifest that, I still have to apply, you know. So I kind of look at it and that way, like, yes, no, you desire that, and you want that. But in order to do that, they’re not going to jump into your, you know, house to come and see you. And if they are a 20 fighter life, why are you dropping in my damn house?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  33:28

Pick them up.

 

X Mayo  33:29

Pick them up, you know, she said, beat me up. Damn yeah, okay so for the girls who are still out there on the apps or in real life, what’s your advice on how they can guard their pockets?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  33:41

I would go someplace simple on the first date, and because I’m imagining a situation where we go out to a nice dinner, and I learn immediately that I don’t want you there, but we have three more courses, and we and I might say something that irritates you, and then all of a sudden you want to go dutch with the bell, or you might just leave, and I’m like, I don’t want to be left with that. Let’s just go out to coffee, because that way, that way, if I need to escape, I can, and it’s like a low financial lift, like it would be like a $5 coffee and maybe a pastry. And that way you can kind of, you know, if he does walk out, you know, maybe it was like, maybe a $20 loss instead of, like a $200 loss.

 

X Mayo  34:19

No, I agree with that. And so, just in general, though, like, what are some financial deal breakers when it comes that we should have as women when it comes to dating? I think one, if he lived downtown and you live uptown, he need to Uber your ass.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  34:33

Oh, yeah, if you live in Brooklyn, we gotta, like, I have to go through passport control to get to you. And you need to, like, understand that customs.

 

X Mayo  34:44

That’s crazy.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  34:45

And I you got to recognize that. Like, if you want me there that badly, you got to figure that out. If I have to leave this island, if I have to go below 59th Street, you have to understand, like, you think so that is. Is because otherwise it’s expensive and the L train is not reliable. I hate to say, well, am.

 

X Mayo  35:05

I do away with it? Rip to that I can’t stand the L train. I lived off the G I was a hoard skimmer horn, girly. Dom, it was such a pleasure speaking to you. I think you are so funny and great and charming, and I like literally want to produce a series on you dating, because I would love.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  35:06

Stories I have.

 

X Mayo  35:16

I think you’re so funny. Can you let us know where we can find you on socials, obviously, not on Tinder, okay, but on this social media apps, where can the people find you?

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  35:35

Oh, my goodness, find me on Instagram or Twitter, and it’s just dominicmadori, or on LinkedIn, if you want to, you know I’m gonna check your LinkedIn anyway, but like you add me on Instagram and help me get 10k on Twitter y’all.

 

X Mayo  35:47

Absolutely, and Dominic and I are going to get on this therapist referral app for dating. We’re gonna work on that interface and get us some tech people. Maybe we can call that crypto guy that you used to date.

 

Dominic-Madori Davis  36:00

He won’t. He wouldn’t qualify. Oh, he wouldn’t qualify, oh, there’s so.

 

X Mayo  36:04

Thank you so much for joining us, Dom, and thank you guys so much for listening. Y’all this conversation with Dom made me feel so much more confident in my dating journey and the standards I’ve set for myself. And I’m so happy Dom realized these standards for herself, too, also, y’all, we might need to just start our own apps or boycott these current ones, a defund Tinder. Okay, they are playing in our faces and preying on us and our need for connection. So before we go, I just want to reiterate for the girls in the back, things are more expensive than they’ve ever been, and that includes this game of modern dating, but there are ways to make this easier on our pockets. Wear what’s already in your closet. X, I’m talking to me, girl, I’ll be needing a new outfit to go to the damn grocery store. This is ridiculous, okay, don’t go over budget for these app subscriptions and only only go on low steak dates, ones where you won’t be spitting an arm and a leg on fucking charcuterie with artisanal cheeses and pates and shit you can’t pronounce. Get some fucking ice cream. Okay, go outside and touch grass, it’s free. And lastly, ladies, don’t go anywhere you can’t afford, just in case. He’s the type to go Dutch and he ain’t even German. He don’t even know what that means. Keep your standards high, but also make sure they apply to yourself. Oh, that was my Ayala moment. I just fixed y’all life, okay?

 

CREDITS  37:33

There’s more of The Dough with Lemonada, premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content, like more of my conversation with Dominic. Subscribe now in Apple podcast. The Dough is a Lemonada original. I’m your host X Mayo. This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures. This series is presented by the Margaret Casey Foundation. Our producers are Claire Jones, Rachel Pilgrim and Tony Williams. Kristen Lepore is our senior producer. Mix and Sound Design by Bobby Woody. Original Music by Pat Mesiti-Miller. Jackie Danziger is our Vice President of narrative content. Executive Producers include me X Mayo, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Help others find our show by leaving us a rating and writing a review. You can follow me on IG  @80dollarsandasuitcase and Lemonada @lemonadamedia across all social platforms, follow The Dough wherever you get your podcast or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership, thanks so much for listening. See you next week, bye.