Leave Beyoncé Alone!
Kiki, Hoja, and Mohanad break down the litany of controversies surrounding Beyoncé’s new album, Renaissance – from Kelis’s accusations of “theft” to the removal of an ableist slur from the song “Heated.” Then, they discuss Netflix’s latest docuseries, The Most Hated Man on the Internet, and unpack comedian Dane Cook’s recent engagement to his “longtime love,” 23-year-old Kelsi Taylor. Plus, the crew reacts to a tantalizing listener apology about a workplace crush.
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Hoja Lopez, Mohanad Elshieky, Kiki Monique
Kiki Monique 00:00
Hi I’m Kiki Monique. And this is I’M SORRY, the unapologetic show about apologies and this week I discovered potato tacos and my life as I know it, has changed forever.
Mohanad Elshieky 00:18
Oh wow, I have not discovered that yet. But I’m Mohanad Elshieky and this week I’m just simply thriving.
Hoja Lopez 00:25
Wow. And I’m Hoja Lopez, and this week I gave all my clothes, try to sell my clothes to Buffalo Exchange an entered the age old adage of them trying to give me very little money for what I believe is a true all of treasures. And so I walked away with my dignity intact Buffalo Exchange.
Mohanad Elshieky 00:48
This whole Buffalo Exchange does you get in and then they’re like, You are a worthless person.
Hoja Lopez 00:53
You are worthless. And the things that you have are shit. And what who am I? I don’t need some 19 year old little hit kid in their 90s ass recycled clothing telling me that my cool A-line dresses are out. No, thank you. So I walked away.
Mohanad Elshieky 01:11
That’s good. Buffalo Exchange need to get their shit together. I really do not care for their attitude. I do not like to go there. I don’t even shop from there.
Kiki Monique 01:21
I stopped all of that long ago like going to Williamsburg and having some like hipster just like look at my clothes was it was too much. So now everything just goes straight to Salvation Army goodwill, I just, I can’t.
Hoja Lopez 01:39
So this is something that’s happening to me right now. I’m in a situation where I’m going to the beach every day, right? And yes, I’m sorry. Should I apologize for that?
Mohanad Elshieky 01:51
I love that you said I am in a situation as this bad thing happened upon me. And I cannot stop it. I just keep going to the beach.
Kiki Monique 02:01
Your Venezuelan friends hate you the way you’ve just adopted to this, like privileged American life.
Hoja Lopez 02:09
I’m so sorry. So I’m going to the lake and it’s gorgeous. And it’s beautiful there. And so I want to talk to you guys about my I’m sorry butt, okay? I’m ready for it. I really need to put it out there because it’s been really driving me crazy. And I just want to say to all of you out there that if you bring your speakers to the beach, you’re a terrible person. If you or anyone thinks that other people should be forced to listen to whatever crap music and you’re going to choose to inflict that to me in a public beach while I’m trying to listen to the sound of the water and the birds and soft chirping and meditating. I just feel like if you want to listen to music in public, or you know, like at a beach or wherever, you should use your headphones,
Mohanad Elshieky 02:55
you know what you should do? You should also bring a big speaker and, and play the sound of the beach on it. Just like just like waves and stuff. I just put it out just meditation noises but home blast. I think that’ll be very funny, but also here’s the thing. Okay, I agree with you, at least is happening to you on the beach. And I’m sure Kiki can relate to this. People here do it on the subway. This is true. And the subway without music without anything else without any other outside factors sucks. Yeah, there are rats there. And people are like hey, do you think this was bad? What if I played music on my phone out loud? Not even music by the way. They’re watching videos. YouTube videos out loud.
Hoja Lopez 03:46
It’s not okay. The YouTube videos is the worst. Because, this is my problem. I get a little curious. I want to see what video they’re watching. But I would never, I would never deign ask them to share that I would be awkward and strange. I just think that you know what happened to this is what set me off is somebody put on that Justin Timberlake woodsmen album while I was out, I was at the beach. And I thought to myself, This is not acceptable that it is not acceptable that I have to listen to this Justin Timberlake album out here. When I’m just trying to live my best life.
Mohanad Elshieky 04:22
Going listen to it in the woods, where it’s supposed to be consumed. I don’t know why you think what you’re watching or listening to is worthy of sharing. People sometimes just need silence and this is the message we want to get to people today.
Hoja Lopez 04:39
So, I think you guys kind of agree with me. I’m sorry that I’m ruining the fun but like especially like a busy beach where you’re hearing like, I don’t know, you know, Gwen Stefani’s bananas on one ear and then the other ears playing Justin Timberlake and then the guys behind me how to rotation of seven different songs that kept playing over and over and over again. And I was just like, this is not right.
Kiki Monique 05:02
I agree with you mostly. I mostly agree like I more am leaning into like the subway people are terrible. You know, if you’re just in a like a regular Park, the beach, I will say I push back a little bit because again, you know, I look forward to those, you know montage moments where you’re, you’re coming up from the water. Maybe you want to Beyonce moment, like, I don’t know, at the beach. I just think there’s, I have a little more latitude. I think I let it go a little more. But that’s me.
Mohanad Elshieky 05:33
You say this now until you find me on your beach with a speaker playing the national anthem.
Hoja Lopez 05:40
Over and over again. Did you guys hear about the first of all, God bless all Beyonce, our Lord and Savior. But yeah, have you guys been listening to the album? What’s going on?
Kiki Monique 05:55
Yeah, on repeat.
Hoja Lopez 05:57
Non-stop. I cannot stop. But then I started of course, because with all good comes a sort of wave backlash of bad. So apparently, so there’s been a lot in the news about like, something comes out. And then there’s backlash against this, like a song or something specific but so you heard about that. The song or the ablest slur inside of heated and then a bunch of like disability campaigners came out and essentially asked Beyonce to kind of remove it. And she agreed to which is crazy.
Kiki Monique 06:29
Well, what’s crazy is that she just didn’t learn the lesson from Lizzo. You know, I mean, maybe the song was already recorded. But what was you know; it was so innocent and cute. You know, Lyza posted in her story, a snapshot because Lizzo and Beyonce were trending, and everybody was kind of like, who’s gonna tell her why they’re trending together? I understand they’re both from Houston. Like, should that look, if I started trending from someone, you know, with Beyonce at the same time, I’d be like, look, we’re both trending, even if it was for something, you know, terrible.
Hoja Lopez 06:58
See that snapshot? And I was like, oh, no, Lizzo
Kiki Monique 07:01
But yeah, I mean, look, there’s so much we’re learning. I did not realize that […] was an ableist word until the Lizzo thing happened. So you know, Beyonce didn’t get the memo. But she immediately corrected it. Here’s the thing, when you have as much notoriety as much fame as much power as Beyonce, of course, you’re going to what do they call it? They say a hit your star, hit your wagon to that star, because anything you say around that person will go viral? And so, you know, look, I love Kelis. And I know because I know that’s, you know, it started with this, you know that word and then we start hearing from Kelis. If anyone doesn’t know Kelis is like, no she milkshake. Everyone knows the song milkshake brings all the boys to you. Alright, everyone knows that song.
Hoja Lopez 07:47
The greatest song.
Kiki Monique 07:48
I love it. And, you know, she essentially made a couple Instagram videos, calling out Beyonce saying that she you know, stole her music because Beyonce used to sample in this song. I think it was energy from the milkshake song. It was like a, you know, I don’t know how long it was. It was a little sample. And basically, you know, Kelis doesn’t own the rights to her music. You know, I think and it what it sounded like was I guess Pharrell maybe owns the rights to this music. And so you know, Beyonce uses music. She did credit Kelis. And it Kelis was saying, you know, this wasn’t a collab. It was theft. And so, you know, Beyonce did what Virgos do. And she was like, okay, removed. And I don’t know, I guess that’s the end of it. But I look, what I where I understand where I understand Kelis is because she’s right. So many people in the music industry have gotten screwed over the years. We’re now learning that. And like, we’re trying to give back power to the artists and that sort of thing. You know, very few people, you know, are like Mariah Carey. Mariah Carey was brilliant. And that’s probably because she was married to Tommy Mottola. So she knew, let me own the rights to my music, but very few musicians understood that at the time, and so I think KALISE was probably feeling just a little bit in her was in her feelings about the whole situation. I don’t think that she should have taken it out on Beyonce. But I will say the reason I think she had to use Beyonce was because, look, it got attention. Now. We’re paying attention to it if she wanted to get that message out. Using Beyonce to do it was the smartest play strategically.
Mohanad Elshieky 09:30
It is true. And I mean, it’s not just Kelis I feel like two days ago, or was it yesterday, even like Monica Lewinsky tweeted something about Beyonce. So she’s like, also in the industry as well.
Kiki Monique 09:43
Yeah, there was like a 2013 song partition where, you know, Beyonce says like, you know, Monica Lewinsky, although he Monica Lewinsky all over my dress, you know, and so you know, so Monica was like, well, since we’re removing you know, lyrics while you think about this, people push back on Monica and because in her Twitter bio it says, you know, rap song muse, but there’s two sides. People are like A; she was she saying that very sarcastically she didn’t. She wasn’t trying to be a muse and then she meant because she mentioned it in a Vanity Fair article in 2014 about well, you know, I just want to let Beyonce know, she should have said Bill Clinton on the dress which actually she’s right. That would have been the word for it. And look like do again, like people are trying to say that Monica Lewinsky’s doing different clout. First of all, Monica Lewinsky 10 years ago isn’t gonna come against Beyonce. I don’t even want to come against Beyonce now, I don’t want to ever come against Beyonce. I don’t ever want to say anything bad. I don’t want to be on the bad side ever. So Beyonce, please Like don’t ever shut me out.
Mohanad Elshieky 10:48
Also, also the other thing about like, I saw the clout conversation, and I feel like sometimes people use that word it just like it you don’t even know what it means. I’m like, whether you agree that Monica Lewinsky should share it with Twitter or not? I don’t think Monica Lewinsky is asking for a clout, she’s like probably one of the most known women in America whether for good or bad reasons.
Hoja Lopez 11:09
And also doing fucking amazing by the way, you’re doing so great, and has turned a crazy event into a really amazing like career. And yeah, she doesn’t need the clout. And also I think she’s the type of person who probably knows the difference between like clout and infamy right now. Like knows very well the dangers of wanting clout.
Mohanad Elshieky 11:32
Yeah, my thing with Monica Lewinsky is just that like because I watched the American crime stories didn’t see that was about her and it’s just like one of the things that I’m just like, this woman has been through enough and has been shared on by so many people like David Letterman. What’s the other dude named the late night show host, Jay Leno. All these people. SNL everyone, so I’m like, now like, whatever. She said that just like just cut her some slack. Just leave her alone. Even if you don’t agree with her just like just. Just let her be. I feel like what she’s owed this now, she could like say stuff like this. Just like, you know what, cool.
Kiki Monique 12:22
I mean, I don’t know. Like, do you think there’s this the time where you just say like, like, we have to let things go though. Like, okay, granted, having that lyric in the music when we look back on it now is like, that’s weird. That’s weird that Beyonce chose that lyrics in the music. But I also wonder, like, you know, is there a point where we just let things go? I mean, I know there’s plenty of songs from before that have the R word in it, right? I don’t think we’re going to change all the lyrics to all of those words, you know, I don’t know.
Mohanad Elshieky 12:51
It’s always what fascinates me just people’s reaction, and how huge it is to something that can be looked at and being like, come on, get over it. Versus I want you to die. And I’m just like, that is such an extreme jump that you can. And yeah, oh my god. Okay. I just want to jump into this really quick. Did you guys see the guy who posted a TikTok video of the SNL audition asking Lauren Michael to have him on like, be a cast member on SNL? So this guy, okay, this guy, I think his name is Jason Novak. He writes and makes a TikTok song. And he’s like a, you know, a theater kid. So you know the energy. And he already has like, one minute video where he was like, oh, SNL is just like hiring new people. So I’m gonna like shoot my shot. And he made like this, you know, quirky video of him just like being like, this is why you should hire me on SNL. And is the video cringe? Yeah, it is. It’s bit cringe. It’s very cringe. But the way people reacted to it, oh my God.
Kiki Monique 14:03
What did they say?
Mohanad Elshieky 14:04
I mean, I just read an article with him on vulture, and the way people are sending him death threats. Just like, so mad at him that people he works at Disney World. So he’s just like, you know, one of the people who sing there and people will go there like take videos of him and posted on the Internet. Like literally just bullying him. And I’m just like, you could have just said this is cringe and just let it go. I do not understand what gets into people’s minds what they just want. They just see something that you don’t like and they’re like, I want this person destroyed.
Kiki Monique 14:41
Yeah, they want it stopped to a pulp.
Hoja Lopez 14:43
I think that there is something to like the animalistic side of people, you know, where it’s like that there’s certain people in the world you know, that like, the human primal instinct is we need to cast these people out because they’re weak or they’re too earnest or there’s something like really sad. And I just, I wonder, because I definitely gives me major like bullying in high school vibes. You know what I mean? Like you just choose somebody for some reason and then the vitriol and the hatred comes first. But then it’s the sharks are smelling the water. And other people jump on the bandwagon because they think it’s funny. And they want the clout from other people when they post Oh, God to be the center of that sounds so scary. So scary.
Kiki Monique 15:34
Because also like, I mean, look, I’ve seen a bunch of people do random things to get attention. And while it’s something that I don’t know if I could do sometimes it works like remember when that woman put her billboard up in I think it was Atlanta and she got it. She ended up getting an audition with Tyler Perry because of it. You know, like, I don’t know if I could put myself out there but what I see it works it’s like look, sometimes you have to think outside the box. He thought outside the box, you don’t like it. Okay, great, then move inside.
Mohanad Elshieky 16:02
And most of the internet is like a lot of like, those tick tock videos are cringe. It’s just like, this is like trying to get viral trying to get famous. It takes so much work and a lot of it like hat like is going to be quenched. That’s what the internet this is what the algorithm wants. And you either find another venue or like I don’t really post on TikTok, unless I have like a stand-up comedy club or something that I like, but I do not make content there. Because I’m like, I don’t I don’t feel like you know, putting myself out there the way I do. But if someone else wants to deal with this way, and they’re willing to, you know, post some cringe stuff and like, just go for it. I can just be like, this sucks and just move on. I’m not gonna go, you know, the distance or just like ruin their life. It’s just too much. Yeah,
Kiki Monique 16:50
just today, even I found out that, you know, they’re trying to find this replacement host on The View for Meghan McCain, you know, a new conservative voice. And so they’ve been having temporary people. And so they invited Elizabeth Hasselbeck back today, who, you know, she was on the view for like, 10 years very famously, very conservative. I haven’t watched it yet. But as soon as I heard her name, I just like it gave me chills, because I remember it and I like so I ended up in this rabbit hole of just going down her Instagram feed. And I was like, oh my god, Candace Cameron, like this post and she commented, and then I was like, What am I doing? Let it go, like, what’s wrong with you? You don’t care about this. You are just being insane right now.
Mohanad Elshieky 17:33
I know. Yeah, I know. Because like in real life, you don’t do this. You’re not like coming after people. You just like say, Oh, this sucks and move on. Also, the view if you want to replace Meghan McCain, I don’t know. Just put a gun on the table. I think that will do the same effect.
Hoja Lopez 17:51
With a tiny little blonde wig and a red lip. That’s all you need. Right on the little hole where the bullet goes out.
Mohanad Elshieky 17:59
Exactly. Yeah, that’s like a sign that says do you know who my dad is? Okay, I want to say this just because I was it yesterday, I just watched the documentary three episode documentary, or limited series, whatever you want to call it, the most hated man on the internet. Like, it’s just like watching a car crash, obviously, like I had to finish it because I started watching it. But I mean, if you haven’t watched it, I’ll just spare you, you don’t have to watch it. It’s about this guy called Hunter Moore from 2010, who had a website called is anyone up? Yeah. And it’s basically a revenge porn website. And they just post people pictures, naked pictures without their consent. They hack into their accounts and stuff. And they post their, you know, social media or addresses. And people comment on them just the most horrible people. It’s so bad. It’s so unsettling. It was. It’s truly one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever watched.
Kiki Monique 19:28
You know what’s more unsettling though is that you know me I feel like I am in everybody’s business. I know all the things. I can say that this was the first documentary I went into where I had never heard of this man, of this website. And it terrified me because when you realize like how prolific it was. It probably affected people that were like very close to me. I mean, not saying friends, but just like, there were so many women that were unknowingly and knowingly, you know, put up on the site. You know, I think it was only up for a very small period of time, but it seemed to just be, you know, the scene, the scene kids, it was like a very, it was very big. I mean, had you heard of it?
Mohanad Elshieky 20:14
No. And I’ll say this, okay, because I was like reading what people were saying about on social media and stuff. It was so funny to me to see like that most people of color and like Black people and all we’re just like, seeing the same thing, just like, White people hang out on the weirdest corners of the internet, because I have never heard of that person in my life. And, you know, then he talked to some of your white friends. And you’re like, Yeah, Hunter Moore. And they’re just like talking about the weather. Like, why? Yeah. Why were you there? I would never willingly hear about this website and put it in my search bar and hit enter. I don’t want to see it. I want to hear about him like, okay, cool. This is all I need to know.
Kiki Monique 20:57
He seemed like the, you know, to me, he was very much trying to live out this like a Joe Francis life right, from, what does that you know, girls gone wild. But he was almost like a precursor, or maybe it was in the same timeline is like Kirill. You know, Kirill, the slut whisperer. Like, it felt very much that vibe, who I had heard of. But they all, it’s all the same dude. And they all have the same fan base of people who egging them on and are really encouraging of this, like awful, vile, nasty behavior. And I don’t, and a lot of them, women, and I don’t know if it’s women that just, you know, because they are, I don’t know, brainwashed, or maybe they just like want to be around these quote unquote, hot dudes, I don’t know, you know, who are partying and getting access to these clubs and all of these things. And so they just want to be around that.
Hoja Lopez 21:53
There’s something really interesting about somebody who like seeks like infamy versus fame. Because it is such a personality type, you know, and this guy definitely seems like he just the personality type to seek the specific infamy. And just to let you guys know, I was a scene kid, baby, you know, I was out there. I tried to have some extreme fun haircuts; I’ll send you pictures. It’s the gayest I’ve ever looked, I’ll say that. But there’s definitely something in that moment like that kind of hardcore, post-hardcore, like Jeffree Star was a part of that. That’s where I first heard of Jeffree Star. And they all have that like, Taking Back Sunday. Like, I don’t know if these any of these names sort of like ring a bell for you. But I had heard of Hunter Moore. I had not put two and two together. And I knew that you know what it was? I didn’t even realize it was revenge porn. I hadn’t thought about it until right now, since the moment when I knew it was happening. Does that make sense? So like, there was this, like, it was like, portions of my mind were like crystallizing Amber. And when you remind me of it, I’m like, Oh, that was revenge porn. At that moment, there wasn’t even a word for that revenge. Porn didn’t exist as a concept. It was just my ex-boyfriends being an asshole and posting my nudes online. Like there was no concept around. This is illegal. That didn’t exist as a policy as a law. They literally had to create this because of how much fanfare Hunter Moore like created through this website. This is one of those things again, of like, looking back at the 2000s and be like, Oh my god, I wasn’t a fucking A’s about sexism and homophobia and racism. Like I just, I have no concept. I didn’t know.
Kiki Monique 23:45
And I think that’s what was the most fascinating part. While there were so many there were several fascinating parts of this series. And one of them being discovering the people that were involved in the scene kid because it really actually then gave me so much like a light bulb went off, you know, because we’re, you know, we’re doing this Spotify Premium series on the worst YouTube apologies, which you should check out. But like, I feel like every single person in our apology came from this era. Because, this early 2000s, where you just say or do whatever, on the internet, especially Twitter. And those people became famous just for that just for like, not giving a fuck, and he was, in a way I hate to say it, but he’s like the founder. He was like, almost like the godfather of like, you know, of those people. And it’s just it was so weird. And I don’t know if you saw you know, so of course, so one of the main characters in the series was Charlotte Laws, who her daughter was the one who she was like, got hacked, or one of the ones who got hacked, and, you know, ended up on the site and her mother was like, not going to give up. She was going to get her daughter off the site. But then, once she did, she was like wanting to take down Hunter more at all costs and so.
Hoja Lopez 25:03
Which by the way Kiki you give me major Charlotte Law vibes. Like I feel like if you were my mother, I’d be like Kiki will defend me until the goddamn end of the earth. You are l like the definition of a detective of an online sleuth. I would, we would all be looking honored to have you in our corner if something crazy went down like that.
Kiki Monique 25:25
I would love to meet Charlotte Laws because like what comes out and spoiler alert if you aren’t, you know, you’re not interested in learning too much about this series and want to watch it. We’re going to tell you a little bit about the series. But in the second episode, we find out that Charlotte in her Hay Day used to pretty much be like, like not a scammer but a scammer, she wrote books on how she was able to get into these Hollywood parties and rub elbows and with all of these famous people, and how have you just kind of she was like the original fake it till you make it. She was able to get..
Hoja Lopez 25:56
Like a Jackie Collins type like, oh, yeah..
Kiki Monique 25:59
I love that about her. But anyways, she you know, so I started following her on Twitter, because, you know, obviously with the documentary out, I want to hear what she has to say. And apparently, you know, Hunter, even though he is now banned from the internet, he had a Twitter account, and he had an Instagram account. And he sort of just been like, you know, posting a little bit here and there. He does an interview with this guy. And pretty much recent, this is recent, and it’s an hour long interview. So I didn’t I watched most of it. But I was like I literally couldn’t I say watch like the first 30 minutes. And I was like I can’t. But essentially he said, you know, they were like, do you have any regrets? And he was like, no, he’s like, The only regret I have is that I didn’t go 10 times harder. He absolutely was like, because I would have ended up in the same position. He’s like, I still would have been where I am now. So why not have just gone all the way with it? Because the reality is like he was it seemed like he was sort of making a lot of money for that time. But based on what we know about the Joe Francis’ of the world, and how much money they made for this. I think he looks back on it. It’s like damn, I could have made so much money, which is just makes him so much even grosser. Right? Yeah,
Mohanad Elshieky 27:02
Well, speaking of old timey people, and remember when Dane Cook was famous, and he was all over?
Kiki Monique 27:13
I barely remember him.
Hoja Lopez 27:15
I mean, I remember good luck, Charlie with Jessica Alba. Y’all remember this premiere movie, this excellently?
Kiki Monique 27:23
Another one, I think that like white people really loved Dane Cook. And so I like I felt like I tried to understand why they loved him. So I would try it. And I was like, I don’t get it. But like he is worth like, hundreds of millions of dollars.
Hoja Lopez 27:35
Yeah, I mean, he was crazy, like in the 2000s. I mean, it was like, I know, he did a lot with like MTV Movie Awards. And this is all again, the same time as this Hunter Moore stuff is when Dane Cook was out. Right?
Mohanad Elshieky 27:49
Yeah, it was all around the same time. It was the 90s, early 2000s. You know, I feel like Dane Cook has now entered. Like it was not relevant after like 2010 like, people were not really there were like more people getting more fame and are funnier and all of that. But he’s back again, you know, not comedy wise, even though they could still do comedy in LA. And if you check the headshot that he uses for his, you know, comedy. It’s a very old headshot from like 20 years. This man is 50 years old. And the reason I’m saying he’s 50 years old, is he just got engaged to a 23 years old, who he has known who he has known for a long time. How long? So they’re saying that they started dating five years ago when she was 18. But he knew her since she was 15. Now, I don’t know what they call that, maybe grooming maybe a lot of other vocabulary that can be used about it. All I know is that it’s fucked up and gross.
Kiki Monique 29:03
I just think it’s very convenient to say you’ve been dating five years exactly, so you’re just telling me like, she didn’t even you know, nothing happened when she was 17 at all, like nothing at all? Just right at 18 you started dating.
Mohanad Elshieky 29:19
And one of those things where I’m just like, even then, even then, if you’re like No, but like if you ever had to use the phrase, no, but when we started dating she was legal. You already lost.
Kiki Monique 29:34
Grow up. I’m sorry. Like all of these men need to grow the fuck up like you are 50 years old. Find someone that you can have a conversation with.
Mohanad Elshieky 29:44
It’s funny because his Instagram bio says growing up against my will. And I’m just like, okay, so much. This about you or this is what you say to your current fiancée, I’m not sure.
Hoja Lopez 30:01
It’s so hard because like, I like so the I know not that long ago like the whole Florence Pugh kind of Zach Braff like big, sort of thing exploded about that. And they got a lot of flack online and she kind of put a statement out sort of saying, like, you know, like back the fuck off like, this is just the person that I’m seeing. And my problem is always that the same again, bringing up all these couples Amber Heard, and Johnny Depp is like, there’s such an imbalance of power of money of fame. And while it may not be inherently wrong, it’s like all of us from the outside, we’re like, that’s a breeding ground for some festering bad shit. You know what I mean? Like, it’s like, they’re saying, hey, we have all the ingredients to make a chocolate cake, but it’s not a chocolate cake. And we’re like, yeah, but she could, it could be a chocolate cake. You just have to put it all together. And then it could be a really bad situation.
Mohanad Elshieky 30:57
Exactly. And my only thing about it is just like, you know, outside of how gross and fucked up it is, in all of that stuff is just like, when there’s like this much of an age difference. Like, what do you guys even talk about? Like, I am 31 years old. And I think, like, when I think about 23 years old, I’m just like, I don’t think we have anything in common or anything to talk about. And that’s not even like much of an age difference. It’s just, it just feels like a different generation now. And so it’s just weird. I don’t know what they talk about.
Kiki Monique 31:31
I would also think it would be really hard as a comedian, I would think he spends a lot of his time like making references like, you know, like joke references to things. And he probably references things from the 80s-90s that she just has no clue. She’ll just laugh like, no idea what he’s talking about.
Mohanad Elshieky 31:48
He probably just like had to find the one person who’s not old enough to have watched his comedy. She’s probably My boyfriend, Dane, he’s a businessman. I don’t know. Well, okay, we have to move on to this listener apology that has been sent to us. You know, we got an email from our listener saying that they demand an apology. Kiki, can you read what they sent us?
Kiki Monique 32:40
Yeah. So they say, I would like to demand an apology from a co-worker. I am a female in my early 20s. And unfortunately, I have become attracted to a co-worker of mine. So I would like an apology from them for being such an amazing person and causing me to have feelings that go against my personal rule, have never been interested in co-workers. I would also like to offer an apology to said, coworker, if I ever gave them any confusing signs that might indicate that I’m into them. All right. What do you think? I mean, this is already look, you know how I feel about dating people at work. I am absolutely against it. But you know, if somebody’s hot, you sometimes can’t.
Mohanad Elshieky 33:23
Okay, here’s my thing. I cannot disagree with this person. And I get what you’re saying. Or you’re saying Kiki, like I have never dated people at work. But years ago, I’ve worked at the Portland State Library. And mean this woman we started work on the same day. And we worked there for like two months. We were there for two months. And then I quit because I hated it. I don’t like work. Something that people need to know about me is I don’t like to do anything. And then we started dating after I quit or maybe a year after that or so of being friends and we’ve been together for five years.
Hoja Lopez 34:10
Twist, twist. It kind of works out sometimes that sometimes
Mohanad Elshieky 34:17
it works out. But we’re not dating when we were working together.
Kiki Monique 34:21
Well, that’s probably say like, if you were still working, if you worked together, do you think the relationship would have last?
Mohanad Elshieky 34:27
I mean, it’s a job at the library at a college so I wouldn’t even call it a real job. It was just, I’ve never actually done any work there.
Kiki Monique 34:39
Anytime I had coworkers that started dating, I literally would just like grill them because I’d be like, because there comes a time when it’s the first time you sleep together. Right? And I just like would cringe at the thought of like, I now have to sit next to you in a meeting or like you know, go to the kitchen and get a snack and eat in front of you after you were done. It’s like we were like pound and pound down as they say, like, I just, it just would always weird me, I can’t.
Hoja Lopez 35:07
Well, this listener in particular, I think it’s so funny because when I break down the apology, this listener would like an apology from the co-worker for being, quote, such an amazing person causing me to have feelings that go against my personal rule. So this person is gonna be hot tenderoni walking through the halls and I mean, I have worked in places where there were like, very hot people that I would like, they would be like talking to me in a conference meeting about something professional, I know would just be gazing into their eyes going like they are so good. So I get that, I kind of do like I think she deserves an apology from this person for being so dreamy.
Mohanad Elshieky 35:49
Yeah, I’m not saying this obviously not knowing you need details because my god, given the details. We don’t know this could be weird.
Kiki Monique 36:00
This sounds like victim blaming though a little bit like, I get an apology from you for being so hot.
Hoja Lopez 36:07
That it’s definitely giving me like nice guy vibes.
Mohanad Elshieky 36:10
This was like also like such a like a douchey like pickup line. Do you say like you said, like your coworker like on Slack, and just being like, what gives you the right to be so hard.
Hoja Lopez 36:24
Oh, man, I really hope things end well and she doesn’t get fired for like waiting outside. And asking a person out on a date and the person’s like, nah, bro, I can’t do it. I’m really hoping for the best. I hope it turns out to be Rosie and Muhammad and not a strange sad story of unrequited love.
Kiki Monique 36:48
We don’t like strange bad stories. What we do.
Mohanad Elshieky 36:52
We do but not to this person, not your listener.
Hoja Lopez 36:55
Not for you listener, not for you, we definitely, you know, go to HR, just let them know about your crush. Tell them what’s going on in full vivid detail. Just in preparation for that person loving you back.
Kiki Monique 37:09
And then pack up your stuff because you’re about to get fired.
Mohanad Elshieky 37:13
Unless you work at HR, then I don’t know what to tell you.
Hoja Lopez 37:21
Just be drunk on power and take it all the way baby.
Mohanad Elshieky 37:24
Exactly. Use your human resources, I guess, that’s right. Well, okay. And now so since we’ve done this hope it works out for them. We’re gonna move to sorry, not sorry, which is my favorite segment where we either demand an apology from someone, or we apologize. And this week, we’re gonna start with Kiki.
Kiki Monique 37:43
You know, I actually am going to apologize to myself this week. You know, because I have like, I had been really hard on myself. I had actually, I’m usually a pretty optimistic person. I really am. Even though I can be like a little cynical all day. I’m pretty optimistic. But I had to sort of like given up a little bit. I was like convinced that, you know, the world was going to shit like nothing was great. And then you know, this week, Kansas, Kansas of all places gave me hope you I clicked my heels together, right? And Kansas came through and showed the world. Don’t fuck with women. Just don’t underestimate us because you miscalculated greatly. And I love that. And so I want to apologize to myself because miracles can happen and be positive. I’m going to be a positive person this week.
Kiki Monique 37:45
Whenever we’re feeling a little down. That’ll be our secret word. I’m gonna just say Kansas to you. And that can be our secret optimism word.
Mohanad Elshieky 39:00
Well, Hoja what’s happening with you this week?
Hoja Lopez 39:02
Okay, so I would like to offer a quick apology and kind to my dogs. Because my focus and energy is elsewhere. I have a few other babies in my life now. And they are plants. So I know I do have like a love affair with plants. And I know that it was kind of a matter of time before I make like was became the parent like a Duggar of plants. You know what I mean? Like I have like 49 Children Now. And Chicago is a nice place to live for, yes, about a month out of the year, weather wise. Other than that, it’s a miracle of the city. But I just feel like all my indoor plants kind of helped me pretend that I don’t live in a frigid wasteland from essentially like November all the way to, sadly about April. And I found this small, like female owned business called twig plants. And they used to be based on Etsy, which I love. But they’re very small and very kind of like personal touchy. And so I ordered these plants and I literally just got set the nicest plants I’ve ever had. And usually when I order plants online, I feel like I never know what I’m gonna get. I’m always like on Amazon and I don’t trust that they’re going to be kind of like the right size. But then the owners Caroline and Catherine, they kind of put their eyes on everything for this store. So those are the founders of […] plants and then they made sure that all the plants came nice and safely tucked to my door and then that I’ve that I’m not gonna be able to kill them instantly. Wow. I know. And I’m so excited because I’ve always like longed for these like very rare plants that you can only get like cuttings of on the low eBay page and they’re $500 it’s like the black market for plants. But I got this watermelon Peperomia which is like I didn’t even know this type of plant existed. So isn’t it, it’s so beautiful. It’s so pretty. It’s got this kind of like luscious kind of jungle look with these like really rich purple stems and then like, big shiny green leaves. It does not grow watermelons in case you guys were both wondering. My favorite fruit is watermelon. No, but I definitely did ask the company if it grew watermelon. At first I just sent a quick email I was like will this grow watermelons? Do I need to put this in a larger pot? But they said no. They’re like no, this just called watermelon […] was like okay, great. But they have these really rare weird plants and it’s like stuff that you can’t get at your local hardware store. And I definitely am going to two stores around my city just to see if they have you know, like weird things but I mean am I really going to be like another snake plant owner? No, thank you. This is not 2017 this is a fully evolved and mature plant lady of sight I feel and they have like these propagation stations that which is what I got that are really beautiful and all these kind of like adorable planters. And I don’t know if you guys know but they have you’ve seen these but these like trendy wire trellis planters and you can kind of grow IV on them. And I’m sorry, my for babies and for babies everywhere. But these plant kids are taking center stage right now. But do you guys have plants? Have you ever tried being plant parents? Like are you ready for that stage of adulthood?
Kiki Monique 42:24
Well, no. I’m like, I have always envied people who have like luscious, you know, houses with like, you know, greenery everywhere. But like I am one of those people look, I don’t know the last time I cooked everything needs to be delivered to my house. So like the fact that you’re saying that a plant get actually show up to my door. Okay, well then maybe I can get into it because I don’t have to pick them out or curate them. Or do any of that because I don’t even I don’t like to go into hardware stores. I don’t like to do that thing. I just like to see things online and they show up on my porch.
Hoja Lopez 42:59
They were packaged like so carefully. And well. It came with like all this little foam stuff. Like literally my plants were perfect when I took them out of the bag. And it’s really great. I think especially if you’re not like a big plant parent, they come with like laminated instructions that are really cute that you can just kind of put next year, next year plant because usually they come with that little stabby thing that barely says three words on it that I don’t understand. And this is like a full like, whatever works for your lifestyle. Like they really write it out for you.
Mohanad Elshieky 43:30
That’s great. I went to like, a store like right by my apartment and got so overwhelmed because I do not like to buy stuff that are not online. So this is this being online is fantastic. And what was the what was the name of the website again? Is it just twigplans.com?
Hoja Lopez 43:52
Yes, yeah, and it’s twigplans.com And they started on Etsy like I said, so you can check out all the ratings and reviews and I think literally like 95% of the reviews were five stars. And I feel like I can really see why like I like you can guide me if you can guide me to not killing a planet you deserve like 10 stars so I feel like they’re the common thread to with the reviews is that all their plants have been really like well-tended to before they reached you. And the idea of like plant wellness and making sure that you understand how to do it is a big deal to them. So when you adopt their plant babies, you get that experience too. And they gave me free shipping which I really loved. Which I did sign up for their newsletter to get the free shipping but it is so cute. They give you like new varieties of flowers and it’s really cute and informative anyways, so definitely you need to check out like everything that they have at twit plants.com I cannot recommend that enough. I really love supporting small businesses and like Etsy success stories like theirs so you know, I have a lot of plants now I’m a parent my life is richer for it baby.
Mohanad Elshieky 45:01
Well, I’m gonna move on to my apology even though I do not have something as exciting as you all, but I’m going to demand an apology from a good friend of mine who so she always keeps, like recommending me these TV shows to watch that she’s watching. And my thing is when I start watching your show, I’ll finish it quick like two or three days. I’m done with wood every season there is. And then I will text her like to talk about the show that she recommended me. And she’s never caught up to where I am. She watches so slowly. That I’m just like, you’re driving me insane right now. You have to watch it. Like if the show comes out Monday at 9PM by 10pm. I am done with the episode. Yeah, I do not wait. I do not, you know. And then she’s like, a week later. She’s like, yeah, I’m so like two episodes behind. I’m like, why are you doing this to me? You have to keep up. You can’t recommend me a show and then you and then you can talk about it. You don’t have to find other people to talk about it. And that’s a lot of work.
Hoja Lopez 46:10
Nobody can keep up with us, you guys. We are consuming content at an alarming rate. And there’s not a person on earth except for the three of us that we can talk to about this stuff.
Mohanad Elshieky 46:22
Exactly. Yeah, it’s just us against the world. Speaking of content, please make sure to subscribe to the most loved podcast on the internet. Beloved, yes, I’m sorry. Make sure, you know, you subscribe. It’s very important also leave a review, a five star review, not four star, not three star, but five stars.
Kiki Monique 46:50
And if you miss us you know between Fridays you know you should also follow us on IG at imsorry_podcast because every Monday we’re still talking about more stuff. Usually the stuff that happened over the weekend that we all we didn’t get a chance to talk about because it’s Friday so join us Mondays for those lives.
Hoja Lopez 47:09
Thank you guys so much for listening.
Kiki Monique 47:13
I’M SORRY is a Lemonada Media Original. The show is produced by Alex McOwen, supervising producer is Kryssy Pease. Our executive producers are Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Our mix is by Kat Yore and theme music was composed by Xander Singh. If you like this show, please rate and review. And please don’t cancel us. You can find out more about our show at @LemonadaMedia on all social platforms, or follow us on Instagram at @imsorry_podcast. We’ll be back next week and until then be nice, play fair and always say I’m sorry. Thanks for listening!