Maybe, Sabotage, Licking

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Sarah shares a Buddhist story about a farmer that reminds us nothing is truly good or bad. Plus, she helps a woman who’s sabotaging her current relationship, digests a dog’s desire to lick semen, and sings her favorite songs from The Sarah Silverman Program.

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Cory, Speaker 6, Mansa, Sarah Silverman, Catherine, Skinner, Jill, Andrea

Sarah Silverman  00:14

Hello, everybody, it’s your old pal, Sarah Silverman. And, you know, I don’t know if this is like something going around lately, but it hit me and I thought it was awesome. And Rory and I have been completely practicing this, this kind of thinking, which is it’s a story about a Chinese farmer, okay. And here’s the story is that there’s this Chinese farmer, and one day his horse runs away. And his neighbors come around at night go, oh, that’s so terrible. Your horse ran away, you don’t have a horse? And he said, maybe. And then the next day, the horse came back and brought seven wild horses with him. And the neighbors said, oh, that’s amazing. You’ve got eight horses now when you had none. And he said, maybe. And then the horses, one of the horses trampled his son when he was riding it and broke the sons leg. And the neighbor said, oh, that’s so horrible. Your son broke his leg. And he said, maybe. And then the next day, they came around, they were drafting young men to go to war. And they didn’t take his son because he had a broken leg. And the neighbor said, Oh, thank God, he that’s such that’s such, that’s so great, that he was not drafted, and he said, maybe. And it’s been really interesting to practice that. And between worry and I, we’ve been practicing that, so he’ll go oh, fucking sucks that Baba, Baba, bah. And I’ll go maybe, and he’ll look at me, and he’s like, yeah, maybe. And it coincides completely with what I’ve been talking to my therapist about what he’s been teaching me lately, which is stop putting good or bad on things. Nothing is good or bad. It just is, it’s just what is. And as soon as we can stop naming things as good or bad. I don’t know the end of that sentence, but I think our lives will be happier, you know, but I think that’s really interesting. The thought that there is no good or bad, and that we don’t know the future, we don’t know. I think what the person who told the story of the Chinese farmer went on to say something like, we don’t know, the consequences of good luck. Just like we don’t know the consequences of bad luck. Somebody said, fuck it let me Google this. This is what he got went on to say actually, it’s quoted right here, his name is Alan Watts. I don’t know who he is. And I was thinking as I’m like listening to it, because then it’s going to more like Alan Watts videos, and I’m like, I think he’s amazing. I don’t know anything about him, but you know, I could I could just as easily on YouTube, where I am be watching like Jordan Peterson for the first time being like, who’s this guy? He’s amazing you know, like, I don’t know, but, but anyway, after he tells the story of the Chinese farmer. He went on to say, the whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity. And it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad, because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune or you never know what will be the consequence of good fortune. In other words, there is no good or bad we don’t know what’s good or bad only the maybe let’s go to some voicemails.


Jill  04:06

Hi, Sarah, my name is Jill. I’m from Canada. This is actually my second time calling in and you were incredibly kind with your words and you truly helped me. I also wanted to say I am so sorry for your losses. And I hope you are doing okay. I unfortunately have a lot of trauma from previous relationships and engagements with men. And it’s led me to feel like I can’t be loved. Like I’m worthless, ugly, and no man would want me and I am pretty much self sabotaging my current relationship. And he’s honestly the most incredible partner I’ve ever had. Because of my jealousy and insecurities. He watches porn occasionally. I fought with him about that. He goes out with his friends, I think he’s going to leave me for another woman, he sees a pretty girl, I automatically think I’m not good enough. So many things along those lines, you’re more things. And I react poorly, and not because of him. But because of me and these feelings of just worthlessness and not being able to be loved. It’s starting to get better. I’m starting to make some positive strides forward. But I would love to hear what you have to say. Thank you, Sarah, I love you.


Sarah Silverman  05:31

Sweetheart, what a horrible way to live. And yet, not uncommon. This is incredibly common. But not good, not healthy, mentally or physically. You know, what you’re doing is you’re, you’re gonna create a self fulfilling prophecy. This is also a product of not living in the moment, which of course we all struggle with. But your fears are taking over your life. And ultimately, this all goes away when you learn to love and accept yourself. Like right now, you can’t relate to someone loving you, which is horrible, but it’s true, right? So so whatever this guy is doing, it’s he’s full of shit, he’s lying to you. Because you aren’t, it’s not possible, he could just love you for just everything you are, warts and all, what there’s no way he could just love you. And that’s a that’s a you problem unfortunately, because you can control you. So maybe that that’s actually good news that that’s a you problem. Um, I don’t know, if you have kids, I don’t have kids. But one thing that helps me is the thought that I should treat myself the way I would want my children to be treated. In other words, our first job needs to be raising ourselves. Giving ourselves what we didn’t get. Giving ourselves you know, the respect and kindness that we so effortlessly give any schmuck on the street, right? Start there. And once you know that you deserve love, which you do, that’s a fact. Once you know it, you won’t be so bewildered by being loved. Because it will make sense. And you won’t need to destroy the love, you currently have to prove that you’re right, you’re unlovable. It is not his job to convince you that you’re worth loving. And if it were his job, it would be an impossible task, right? There’s probably nothing he could say or do that’s going to convince you of something that you have to know for yourself and learn for yourself. So my advice to you is to do your part and practice every day, accepting yourself as much as you accept any other person on the street. And by the way, and I always come back to this but like self loathing is not any form of modesty. It is self obsession. It leaves very little room for anyone else. Self loathing is still me, right? So being at minimum, just fine with yourself is the only way to be able to have a successful relationship outside of yourself. That I know to be true so good luck I believe in you. You got this it’s a practice no one’s perfect at it. All right, what else?



Hey, Sarah, I know you have mentioned before that you watch a lot of TV and you love TV so I’m just wondering what some of your favorite shows of all time are maybe like top five or something do you even some shows you’re watching right now. I watch a lot of TV as well so I’m interested to know some of your favorites


Sarah Silverman  09:35

There are so many I I’m I mean, just like to just spew out some of my faves I really loved this series Damages fucking perfect so good. It’s literally about like lawyers suing for damages in New York City but it there’s like murder and it’s so juicy and so fucking good. I mean, it’s Glenn Close and Roseburn insane. Sopranos […] a Law and Order I feel like it’s a different section Law and Order is Law and Order is my blankie it is my total comfort just having it on. I think because anywhere I am in the country if I’m on the road I can find a Law And Order so it’s like that it’s my constant. It’s my todo Muto, but I mean just all time taxi cheers. Larry Sanders I read I was on it a few times. But I also was absolutely one of my all time favorite shows The Good Fight is probably one of the most recent oh my god Lost. Lost was my fucking world. I had a God on my laptop now. I can’t even remember what it was called the, The Dharma initiative I had told you tonight tell John got both of us Dharma Initiative like decals for our laptops. The time I not a great story. Anyway. I loved it. We’ve got to go back to the island and also more recently, a british series I love like, cops. I love thriller, I love mystery, I love I love like, MI5 or MI6, whatever the fuck like, you know, I love British cops. So there’s one it’s um, it’s a series called Line Of Duty and there’s like five seasons. It’s fucking so good I love it. And you know what? Here’s something that’s only had one season. I’m waiting for season two that I think deserves to be added to this list. Although I’m sure I’m forgetting like a billion shows I love, Severance. That season one what a masterpiece. Every episode gets exponentially more amazing. And I fucking cannot wait for season two. Right now we’re watching um, I don’t think this would be in my all time favorite shows. But I’m really into this show called Three Body Problem, it’s really good. And also we’re watching Shogun, which we’ve talked about, which I would not see as my all time favorite show at all, but it’s a I’m loving my Shogun Tuesday’s that’s all I’m saying. All right, what else? Talking about TV forever.


Skinner  12:24

Hi, Sarah, my name is Skinner calling from Montreal, but I’m from Winnipeg. Anyway, I just thought something really funny happened today. And kind of gross actually, I’m more grossed out than then think it’s funny. So my partner and I, we were getting on. And he had to run to get his bus, we were like, hey, run to the door give them a kiss goodbye after we got dressed. And then there was little bit of a mess left on the bed, like, cum. And so I came back and my dog was eating it. And I feel so disgusted and gross. You just a little guy. He’s nine pounds. And I was just so grossed out. And I was like, it’s never happened to you. And I was listening to your podcast right after. And I was like, I need to tell Sarah this. Also, I was listening to the lady who has a problem with […] or something and she farts all the time. What if she told people that she was trying to get in the Guinness Book World Record or something every time she farts? She gets happy. She’s like, oh my God that’s one more for the books. That can work. Anyway, love you. We’re also birthday twins. I’m December 1, and your December 1. And I love you anyway, thanks for all the entertainment over the years, bye.


Sarah Silverman  13:38

That’s a hilarious idea. I hope that her friend is listening to that, that’s a really good one. Nice birthday twin hi, we have a lot of good lots of comedians on that day, lots of funny people. Yeah, that your dog licking up your partner’s semen is, um, I don’t want to say it’s disgusting, but yeah, it’s disgusting. I mean, you know, I mean, I’m sure dog will be fine. It’s not like you have to like slice through his poop to look for it. And make sure he’s digested it. I guess there’s protein and it’ll probably not be bad for him. You might notice a slightly shinier coat. Yeah, it is I you know I we have dogs and that it’s not that situation has not happened but it’s I’ve thought about it not I’ve thought about it, like, I’m going to be coming. But like that image has crossed my mind and it’s like, ah, you know, the other day actually worried and we’re walking the dogs. And he was emptying our neighbor. We have a neighbor who we love and she is going through a hard time and he saw that she hadn’t brought in her trash bag, her trash can. And her trash can had been opened and it was raining. So it was like filled with water and then also because it was open, people were just throwing their dog’s poop bags in there. So Rory went to, like, drain out the water and he said, just shit soup when everywhere. And as he’s telling it to me, he’s gagging. And then I’m dying laughing from him gagging and then I’m gagging. And I’ve just honestly we both were laughing, like tears coming out of our eyes, but also fully gagging. And it was just a funny combination. Not pleasant and yet pleasant because we were laughing Alright, anyway, what else? But I digress should be the name of this podcast. Emphasis on the butt, well […]


Mansa  15:50

Hi Sarah, my name is Mansa. I am from San Francisco, but I now live in Margate on the east coast of England. I’m an artist and musician under the name mentleman. And I’m a huge, huge fan. Thank you for demonstrating. Compassionate listening, you are a beacon of hope. I recently came out as trans, gender fluid non binary to be specific taking she they pronouns. And it’s, I’ve gotten such amazing support from my friends and family on Facebook and from my nascent fan base, shout out to the girlies. Anyway, my parents are not taking it well. And I’ve realized we’ve found a generational difference. And it’s hard because I’m so so close with my family. I love them so so much. And I, I understand their choices, and I understand their perspectives. But also, yeah, really having to draw a new boundary. One of my loved ones said something to me on our last call. And I had to say, please don’t say that to me anymore. And I’m also feeling really sad and angry about it. The content, so any tips, wishes, lots of love? Thank you.


Sarah Silverman  17:32

I, I don’t know what that person said to you. So I don’t know how to react. I don’t know how much your parents are not on board? Like are they not on board? Are they like not talking to you? And maybe I’m guessing maybe your parents are dead naming you. I’m not skilled enough to give advice. I might, I’m afraid of concerned, I might say the wrong thing, you know, but my guess is, you know, they’re speaking of dead name, it’s like there may be, it may feel a bit like a death to them, of their son. What we need to get them in touch with is the birth of their daughter. And it might not be overnight. It might not be ever. But hearing that you’re close with your family, you know, I would take the winds and you know, you you can only be in control of yourself. You can’t control how your parents handle life. I’d be curious at how your parents handle life handled new things coming their way handle change handle, how they approach the unknown, because there might be a pattern there with it being hard for them. And this is gonna sound so way out of having anything to do with anything. But we were laughing recently. I don’t know who I was talking to you about. I was living out here in LA when it became illegal to smoke cigarettes inside. And I thought and I you know, I still even then smoked one cigarette a day, I really most people didn’t even know I had ever had a cigarette. But in my mind, it affected comedy clubs. Like I was just like, that’s crazy. They can’t make smoking illegal inside a comedy club. So we’re not gonna have a smoky Comedy Club. Like meanwhile, I can’t imagine a world where you’re smoking indoors. Ever anywhere even in your own home, it’s like disgusting. I would never, but just my reaction of, you know, that’s fucking crazy. They can’t make people not smoke indoors and clubs and bars. That’s so insane. I mean, isn’t that just bizarre to hear now, like, I can’t even relate to that person. But that was my knee jerk reaction because not because I loved smoke smoky clubs. But that’s just what I knew a comedy club was it was just smoky. And it was the vibe, it was the whole feeling I am people smoked and drank and watched comedy, that I couldn’t imagine life without it, even though it wasn’t really a part of, I didn’t really take part in it. I don’t know the point I’m making other than maybe it’s going to take some time. And I hope they come around. And if they don’t, I’m so sorry because I can’t imagine that pain. Celebrate the people that love you exactly who you are, that are so happy that you’re living your most authentic self. And that you’re thriving, and I love you. And I think living life, who you are, is not just wonderful, but crucial to any chance at a happy life. And you can’t control your parents wish she could I’m sure they wish they could control you. But you’re gonna have to you know, like you said you had some boundaries there. The more open you can be with them the better I think it’s gonna be exposure therapy. But I also just don’t know I don’t know your parents and I don’t know to the the extent to which they’re not accepting this and I’m so sorry for it and and just think of me cheering you on. And the people that do love you and support you exactly how you are and who you are, celebrate that. But yeah, I know it’s it sucks and I’m and I’m sorry. All you can do is live your very best life and try not to let that eat at you because it hurts you. And you don’t deserve that. Well, it’s easy to say. Maybe not so easy in practice, but I guess we’ll find out. Good luck. What else?


Sarah Silverman  17:39

Hi, Sara. It has been a solid two years since the episode came out for your podcast titled Bone Dry Orgasms, your flightless snickers and I have thought about it almost everyday since and would really like to get this off my chest. A man called in asking is an orgasm really better when a girl is really wet? Or does how wet somebody gets have nothing to do with how good the orgasm is. You scoffed at him, shamed him told him he’s probably not very good embedded and sarcastically said no, both […] and me she’s having an orgasm. I just wanted to let you know for all the women out there especially that there is a part of the vaginal anatomy called a bartholin gland and the bartholin gland is what produces mucus during sex with a person is turned on. Some people have different shapes and sizes, the porcelain glands are different in different positions. And so some people do get really what even when they’re not turned on and some people can be very turned on and not get very light and that’s what coconut oil is for the move is for. There’s no […] and there’s a stigma around it. But I think we just need to be more aware of the Parkland gland. It is a beautiful thing no matter how active or inactive it is. And there’s a solution for it. So he might be turning somebody on and they might not be very wet, and that’s okay.


Sarah Silverman  24:17

Well, thank you so much for calling in and educating me and our listeners the bartholin gland. And to that color from the episode Bone Dry Orgasms, no fly lists Snickers our titles are ridiculous. I apologize to you, maybe you were turning the woman on and she just had a her bartholin gland was dry. Her vagina doesn’t get very wet, maybe that could be the case. But I will tell you. You said many true things. Nothing more true then hell yeah, coconut oil. I don’t care if you get naturally juicy, or you need something to get juicy. For me coconut oil. It’s when it goes. I went to a friend’s house not long ago. And he was like, oh, it’s in the bedroom, he’s like, married, you know, I know. His wife and his kids, what are they? And there’s coconut oil next to the bed and I was like, great job. Great job on that coconut oil. Yeah, that was a real revelation that like, this lady at Erawan turned me on to like one of those like, long silver haired like sexy crystal turquoise wearing probably not a stranger to a dream catcher woman who turned me on to it and never turned back. And you know, I’ve used KY jelly, do you? I find it. It’s nasty, it gets so sticky. And it goes bad like so fast and I don’t even get why that’s the main thing.


Catherine  26:07

I have a question for you. It’s Catherine your producer.


Sarah Silverman  26:10

Oh yes Catherine.


Catherine  26:11

Refined or unrefined coconut oil? Do you know if there’s a difference? Or is one better than the other?


Sarah Silverman  26:18

Unrefined, I just Googled this by the way. I think unrefined, yes.


Catherine  26:24

Okay, so that’s the one that is more coconutty like smells and tastes more coconutty because they haven’t done anything to it, is that right? The unrefined?


Sarah Silverman  26:33

I can’t wait, hold on. I really just googled it, as a matter of fact, Rory and I were were shopping. And he asked me that question and I googled it and then texted him. So I bet I’ll find it here from when we’re grocery shopping, unrefined or refined coconut oil for sexual lubrication


Catherine  27:02

I’m on a Reddit thread and it seems people seem to be agreeing with you, unrefined, that sort of okay, unrefined okay, all right, good to know, thank you.


Sarah Silverman  27:10

I like I think it’s like what you cook with, like, if you can put it in your mouth, you can put it in your vagina. I mean, don’t live by that I, I might be I might need to backtrack from that.


Speaker 6  27:26

Hi, Sara, first off, I watched your specials over and over. And I just loved them so much, someone you love in particular was amazing. Not the lightest chat to have but I have been struggling with depressive thoughts for the better part of a decade really. But I’ve never gone to therapy or anything and don’t really know why. I’ve had thoughts of, you know, like, tapping out, I guess, but never attempted or anything. And I’ve recently read about passage suit suicidal ideation, which from what I understand is were not taking any steps or anything actively, but you regularly fantasize about an end to things. For context, my family has gone through some pretty intense traumatic experiences we’ve never really dealt with and those have kind of generationally trickled down and so my sense of obligation and guilt towards them, kind of perpetuates those feelings, but at the same time, like prevents any action on them, that makes sense? Anyway, wondering if you have ever had periods of thoughts like this, or if you’ve got any advice? Thanks, and I fucking love the podcast, your impeccable diction always makes me smile.


Sarah Silverman  28:55

But thank you, Beth Ann O’Hara, my mother. You are not alone, for summary, I don’t know if you’re New Zealand, or Australia. I have a terrible ear. I’m very American in that way but I I remember, my sister in law saying it was not therapy and mental health is not a big thing there. That’s an insane generalization, I’m sure but, you know, seek therapy, if it’s mentionable it’s manageable. Period. So this is a great first step because you mentioned it, I have heard about passive suicidal ideation. And there are myriad ways to get therapy the these days, you know, there are groups there are online there is the whole AAA circuit is is also just really great therapy. I mean, you know, I don’t know that you’re an addict and there may not be a version of it that applies to you. But there will be groups that I bet a very specific, you could probably find a passive suicidal ideation group. But anyone you can talk to just saying stuff out loud to people who experienced the same or similar things even is is always going to be helpful. I think passive suicidal ideation can sometimes lead to active suicidal ideation. So you want to make sure that you’re doing everything you can for yourself. But I do also think that it can always just stay dormant. And that it’s okay because it’s your imagination, but therapy medication, if that’s what would help not to put a pickle in all this, but some antidepressants, ironically, have that side effect of a suicidal ideation, that’s where I’ve heard it, suicidal ideation was, you know, like, that whole list of things that they have to say in the commercial. So, so, get on top of all of that. And make sure you’re setting yourself up for success, health wise, self care, baby, you know, don’t think twice about calling a suicide hotline too, by the way. That’s what it’s there for. And they’re trained to talk to you about that. And mostly to listen. But good luck. And if you learn anything new and helpful on your journey, call back and share it will ya? I’m thinking about ya, and good luck, what else?


Cory  31:46

Hi, my name is Cory. You need to do an episode, where you do a deep dive on the Sarah Silverman program. Because that show was so ahead of its time, and hilarious, I still have so many of those songs stuck in my head, trying to she eats ice cream, which songs from that your favorite which wants to get stuck in your head? Like, what was it like working with Comedy Central? How much freedom did they give you? Like, I would just love an episode where you really just delved into it, and the songs and what was allowed or what wasn’t allowed. Yeah, thank you for such a phenomenal show. Oh, I’d love to see you do something like that again.


Sarah Silverman  32:30

Um, God, we all miss it, and we’re all friends from that show you we’re all still in touch and oh, my God. Me it was it was a great time. I mean, of course, I felt like Comedy Central totally shackled me but, you know, in looking back, we just had total freedom. I mean, even where we didn’t have freedom, we had freedom like, you know, one thing you learn is like, limits. Limits are good in a lot of ways because they force you to be more creative, you know, like, I think I told this story about how Mark Cohen who played my dad, who’s 10 years older than me, by the way, but anyway, he we had a thing where he, he always had a little bit of stubble, and he he’s leaving me where we were a father daughter act. He’s leaving me now he’s going to star and like, the road on the road as John Well, John and Les Mis, and I go, wait, how do you get your face with like, that was just perfect, like, one day of stubble. And he said, it’s a razor called the Miami device, which was true of one of our executives. And then I go, okay, and I go to leave, and it’s like that old commercial where he goes, hey, kid, and I turn around and he throws it to me the Miami device. And he says he’s supposed to say, you can use it on your vagina. And they wouldn’t let us say vagina, or vulva or obviously pussy or like, whatever. And it made me so mad because it was sexist. And our, um, was it called standards and practices person, Jessica Schramm was like, you know, I know it’s my own hang up, I just, it’s gross. I don’t I don’t, you know, whatever, she just wouldn’t allow it. And we changed the line to you can use it on your shrim and everyone knew what we meant, and I think she loved it. And it was like better than vagina. We just made up a slang for vagina with her last name. And it was awesome. Anyway, um, the whole thing was a great experience even working with with […] I’m sorry, I’m calling about even our standards and practices were awesome like, you know, God we I think in my book there was like, Dam Sterling would like have to fax in like all right the sketch of the penis that Sarah makes will look like this. Okay, well you can have it but you can’t put the line for the penis hole you can’t have that like the negotiations were hilarious. But it was such a fun show. A lot of it probably doesn’t hold up I have no idea but I’m what are the songs that are in my head? Make a difference make a difference make a duty today. That was for our political song for May Could Duty who’s played by Maria Bamford. And Brian posing and I saying it make a difference, make a difference, make a duty today make a difference? Or oh, make a duty this Tuesday, make a duty for our children. Whatever it’s so juvenile. Pancakes please pancakes, please don’t be such geez, bringing up some big gigs please cook me up some pancakes please. I think there’s a that was. I wrote that with Chelsea Peretti in like, three minutes. It was so fun though. Chelsea Peretti, the great brilliant Chelsea Peretti who was a writer on the show. Pretty proud to say I’m Dan Sterling wrote, wood in mid teens protected through. Anyway, I could go on and on so many songs. Poop at the mall. I pooped at the mall today. We pooped at the mall. It was brown and it has wait, it was brown in it had. This is disgusting. It was brown in it had raisins and we flushed them for those reasons. That was Rimano and Falconer wrote that the two writers on the show, it was brown in it had raisins, and we flushed them for those reasons, because the best rhyme scheme of all time, slash worst. This is a poop song, this is a poop song. We pooped at the mall today. All right, what else?


Andrea  37:32

Hi, Sara. Its Andrea from Texas Ale, there’s this kind of meme going around online where women are asking their significant others or vice versa. If they would still love them if they were a worm. So part one is would you still love Rory if he was a worm? And I was hoping you could ask Rory the same and kind of take him off guard. All right, I love you goodbye.


Sarah Silverman  38:03

I mean, that is some existential shit right there. I mean, I suppose when given a truly unanswerable question, which that is a question that proposes a scenario that is that as far as everything we know, as humans up until now is not possible. But when boiled down is ultimately asking, do you love me for who I am inside? The answer is fuck, yeah, yes yes. I mean, if you really became a worm, no. No, I mean, if you were a worm, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t know you I wouldn’t. You know? Yeah but no, just say yes. That’s my new anti Nancy Reagan, just say no, just say yes. Yes all day yes. And dad, wherever you are. we’re winding down wherever you are in time and space. Oh, I miss you so much. We are winding down. This is the part of the show, when I say send me your questions, go to that, and subscribe, rate and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And there’s more of the Sarah Silverman podcast with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus questions like one from a mom who’s not sure whether or not to let her kids play with toy guns. Subscribe now in Apple podcasts.



Thank you for listening to the Sarah Silverman podcast. We are a production of Lemonada media, Kathryn Barnes and Kryssy Pease produce our show. Our mix is by James Sparber. Additional Lemonada support from Steve Nelson, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Our theme was composed by Ben Folds and you can find me at @SarahKateSilverman on Instagram. Follow the Sarah Silverman podcast wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.

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