Theater or Therapist? (with Rachel Dratch)
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When Rachel Dratch was growing up, she figured she’d have some sort of “normal” career like therapist. Then she saw a performance of Annie and thought she could be one of the people on stage too. Sam talks to Rachel about how important it is to ask for the parts you want (and then winning a Tony for it), how the biggest thing that ever happened to her wasn’t even a choice, how improv can even make a “lazy pisces” live in the moment, ordering the worst thing on the menu, and accidentally going viral on Tik Tok.
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Transcript
SPEAKERS
Samantha Bee, Rachel Dratch
Samantha Bee 00:00
What is time? Every day has another week stuffed inside of it like a little nesting doll of time, which means I have no idea how many days it’s been since the RNC. So I’m actually impressed with myself that I can still remember something that happened last week. But actually, I don’t think there’s anything I could have done to scrub the image of Matt Gates’s isacles eyebrow arches out of my head. I mean, they were chiseled into my memory as they are chiseled into his forehead. I mean, at this point, is it a forehead? Is it a five head? I don’t know. I digress, usually I come here and I give you some Choice Words for something driving me crazy. But today I have some choice nice words in the form of, you know, a thank you. It said that if you love what you do, it never feels like work. And truly, no job has made me quite as happy as the other day when I got to sit down and and write a sub stack about his brand new face. So thank you so much for that look. I don’t actually like to comment on people’s appearances, but there are appearances and there are appearances. Personal decisions have been made and those have been talked about ad nauseam. But you know, when you’re in a cult, you tend to do crazy things. It’s not what’s on the outside that matters, it’s what’s on the inside. I guess when the inside is full of really crazy, scary shit, maybe the outside starts to mirror that I don’t know. Just feel like my parents warned me not to change myself for a man, but Republicans didn’t get the same message maybe, anyway, I would be remiss if I didn’t add in another thank you to President Biden, who put country not just before party, but before himself. And somehow, I’m shocked, because we’re so jaded that we no longer thought it was possible for a politician to put people first, even when that is their literal job. I woke up today feeling excited by an election that once filled me with doom. I mean feelings of nervousness, feelings of fear and nervousness, they’re going to be ever present. But for now, I really do feel a little bit of hope. It’s so nice, I think maybe you do too. And you know what? I’m gonna have a lot more to say about this very soon. Until then, obviously, please make sure you are registered to vote. Oh, I have to fan myself.
Samantha Bee 04:49
This is Choice Words, I’m Samantha Bee, my guest today. I’m so lucky, it’s Rachel Dratch, who I know you know from Saturday Night Live and her just world renowned Debbie Downer sketches. I mean, I love her. She’s starred in so many films, wine, country, cluster, Bunk Christmas, and she’s the author of a book, Girl Walks into a Bar. She’s the best so take a listen and make good choices.
Samantha Bee 05:24
Oh, my God, it’s so nice to talk to you, thanks for saying yes.
Rachel Dratch 05:27
Thank you for asking.
Samantha Bee 05:29
I just listened to the Frank Whaley episode of Woo Woo just before coming on with you. What an incredible story.
Rachel Dratch 05:40
That’s the best one. It’s the best ghost story I’ve ever heard.
Samantha Bee 05:43
It’s the best ghost story I’ve ever heard, it’s epic.
Rachel Dratch 05:47
Listeners, you gotta, you’ve gotta listen to this particular episode. But I can’t believe you chose that one, because that’s like, that’s like, the quintessential ghost story.
Rachel Dratch 05:55
Good.
Samantha Bee 05:55
Oh, okay, so listeners, you’re listening, it’s Woo Woo, with Rachel Dratch. It’s really good. I love ghost stories.
Samantha Bee 05:56
Are you? Just into Woo Woo.
Rachel Dratch 06:09
I always add like, several 1000 disclaimers when I’m doing the show, I guess because I don’t want to be thought of as like, yeah, the person that you know believes in everything. Like, there’s plenty of holes you could poke in a lot of these stories, but over the years, it’s kind of my favorite kind of story, when someone has and usually the person telling it is a very credible person who’s saying, like, look, I don’t believe in this, but this is what happened. So that’s what I find really intriguing, like that line of, well, it’s not science, but a lot of people seem to have some wacky tales, and I just like thinking that maybe we don’t know everything, that maybe there’s some mystery because we think we know it all with science, how far we’ve come thus far, but I don’t know maybe there’s some other plane that we’re not privy to, or something. So I like thinking like that.
Samantha Bee 07:00
I like thinking like that too, and I believe that I don’t know that it’s possible to define what I believe, because I don’t think it’s possible to define what the other world is, because we don’t know anything about it and we can’t sense it, how can we I feel like we see so much on social media, we so see so much about the interior lives of animals. And I feel like, 10 years ago, we wouldn’t be like, oh, obviously they have their own language, that they’re speaking their own language, and now they’re decoding the language of whales using AI, like, there’s a richer texture.
Rachel Dratch 07:34
Yes.
Samantha Bee 07:35
To this world that we can know about.
Rachel Dratch 07:37
I also think that I, well, I used to, like, wish that I was Catholic so I could believe in heaven, but I just, I just didn’t, or don’t, I guess, but, but then, because I was just like, well, when you die, that’s it. But then hearing a lot of these stories, I mean, I like having a like, a whole poked into that, like, I like having it like, well, we don’t know. I mean, sometimes I just have a person on to chat about whatever manifest here. So it’s not all right, which I’m also kind of into cheesy way. But no then, like, when every so often someone love a story, and they’re very believable person that I’ve known, you know, for very long time. So I like those. So that’s what made me do this. It was just sort of a what if we just talk to fun people about this stuff so.
Samantha Bee 08:23
I think that’s so cool. I think it’s super cool, and I feel like so many people have stories, there can’t be just nothing, right? We can’t just be spinning everything out of whole cloth, right?
Rachel Dratch 08:37
I don’t know. I don’t know. I mean, Frank Whaley had a ghostly lady living.
Samantha Bee 08:45
He had a ghostly lady with a real name and a headshot.
Rachel Dratch 08:48
Yes, yeah, that was a that was the kicker of the movie, yes.
Samantha Bee 08:56
Like kicker, okay, so my okay, we’re gonna talk about. So my show is about choice, and I’m gonna definitely talk to you about some, like, big choices that you’ve made, I first I want to know, like, are you a decisive person? We all do this in a different way.
Rachel Dratch 09:13
I was thinking about this. My party line is like, I’m horrible at decision making. Like, it gives me a lot of stress, but that’s about little decisions I think about, like, big things, I sort of have a gut feeling like so but little decisions, like, which rug should I get in my hallway? Like that could take me just forever. Or, like, like, at a restaurant, I’m always like, I know I’m gonna order the wrong thing. Like, I have a lot of like, I have a skill for ordering the worst thing on the menu, so stuff like that that can restaurants don’t give me stress, but I do have a knack for ordering the worst thing. But, um, no, just like little they cause me like, this ball of tension and. I think I have to explore that, but I don’t know, how are you with decisions?
Samantha Bee 10:04
I don’t know, I feel like it varies from day to day. Also, gut. I like to go with gut. I feel like if I’m trying to talk myself into something, it’s usually gonna be a absolute unmitigated disaster.
Rachel Dratch 10:17
That is true. And one thing I feel like I’ve learned more as I’ve gotten older is like, like, if you have this feeling, well, whatever, like, maybe some little job offer comes up, or something, something that’s not like, a like, oh yes, of course, I’m going to do this. And then like, well, this is how I tell friends to make decisions. Like, imagine. I mean, this is not rocket science. This is what you’re going to like, no shit but just like, imagine how you’re going to feel that morning. Imagine how you’re going to feel walking into this job, or whoever the whatever thing is, imagine your emotion. And then just go off of that. Because that’s like, the true like, are you going to be psyched? Are you going to be like, oh God, I gotta, and that’s like, just a very, very simple litmus test of, what are your […]
Samantha Bee 11:02
But then you kind of go, you should sort of you could be like after, though, will you be happy that you have the money that you like? Will your bad mood be worth it?
Rachel Dratch 11:13
Those ones are always like, no money, something you’re doing because your friend asked you, or because it’s could be fun, like, I don’t know, but that’s just, I don’t mean to get show busy about it, like it could be about anything. How are you going to feel in the moment?
Samantha Bee 11:30
How are you going to feel in the moment? Are you going to be dragging yourself there? Are you going to dread it for three days? And it’s actually going to, it’s going to, like, crater three days of your life, because you’re going to be thinking about it. It’s gonna drag it down.
Rachel Dratch 11:42
I mean, it can even be about, like, going to an event or party, or like, meeting of someone you’re kind of an acquaintance with like, I don’t know, those kind of things.
Samantha Bee 11:51
I do sometimes think, and this is such a bad perspective, and I shouldn’t ever do this, but I do sometimes think it’s fun to to actually, with determination. Order the worst thing on the menu that you know is going to be like a story that you can tell, like going to a seafood restaurant in Maine, but getting the bad time, you’re like, yeah, do it.
Rachel Dratch 12:12
Order with the place. Oh, my God, that’s hilarious.
Samantha Bee 12:16
Always order with the place.
Rachel Dratch 12:17
Yes, rules for a living.
Samantha Bee 12:20
So smallies are harder for you.
Rachel Dratch 12:22
Smallest, smallest the smallies are harder, I think, yeah, than the biggies.
Samantha Bee 12:30
We’ll be right back after this.
Samantha Bee 14:45
Do you make personal decisions in a different way that you then you make, like, a business decisions? Or do you just the same metrics?
Rachel Dratch 16:29
Same set of metrics.
Samantha Bee 16:32
Can I ask you, what is a big decision that you thought of that has really changed the trajectory?
Rachel Dratch 16:37
Oh, like, for this, like, what’s the biggie?
Samantha Bee 16:39
What’s your biggie? What’s your biggie?
Rachel Dratch 16:41
I had trouble thinking of one. And then the thing that I thought of that I looked and everyone, a lot of people have done this, and it was, of course, like, you know, do I try to follow comedy and be an actor, or do I take a more traditional path? That’s the one that jumped into my mind first, because it’s huge. It was a young decision. You know, I was young, and when I look back, I’m kind of shocked that I took the risk, sort of well. I mean, I guess I was, you know, 22.
Samantha Bee 17:15
What did you, what was the traditional path that you considered going?
Rachel Dratch 17:18
Well, I really wanted to become a therapist, because I was really into psychology, and I still really am, so, um, I was, I majored in drama and psychology, and then I and then I thought, like, and I really had genuine interest in both things. And of course, being an actor was the crazier path. Like no one that I knew was an actor. I come from the suburbs, and no one died. It wasn’t like running in LA or anything. So I didn’t know how you do it, like, like so many performers that we know now, like, there was no, here’s your guidebook, here’s what you do to do it.
Samantha Bee 17:54
Yeah, so let me, let me give you a leg up.
Rachel Dratch 17:57
Right, or even, let me tell you the steps to take, like, even, there’s no directory sort of, so that was just like a wild leap. And then the other thing, it’s like, you go to grad school, you, you know, there’s a clear path. So, well, again, this is based on the emotion thing I talked about earlier. I guess I thought I didn’t want to go through life, wishing I had tried to do comedy, but I definitely wasn’t a kid, like, I’m gonna be an actor. Like, you know, I wasn’t like Hollywood or best, like, when I was little. So I was like, a regular person, but I knew, like, I, you know, I loved Justin when I was little. I was class clown. I liked doing plays, and I knew that I I veered towards comedy, like, that’s where I felt like I had more of a skill than in just doing the play sort of thing.
Samantha Bee 18:48
Well, since the first time that you stepped on a stage and you went, oh, this is actually for me, I’m gonna, like, explore this. I’m gonna go to the end of this, all the way.
Rachel Dratch 18:57
I mean, I did, I did plays in in school, but I that was just fun. Like, I just liked it for fun, like it was sort of a dream, like, way in the back of my head, like I’d see a movie, I’d see a kid in a movie. Oh, I remember, like I went saw Annie when I was 10 years old in Boston, whatever, the colonial theater, whatever, and I saw the kids up there doing its hard knock life. I was like, how did, how did I get? No, by the way, I can’t even sing like, I’m not like, but I was just like, how did they get to me up there? Wait, how does this work? Like, that looks so fun, you know, that kind of thing. But I wasn’t like, Mom, will you sign me up for blah, blah, blah like, it wasn’t like that. So I think I joined an improv group in college, and that was my first like, like, I saw them, I went to rehearsal and just like, observe, and I was like, Oh my God, I feel like I could do this. Like it was sort of a gut thing of like, I think I could do this. And, like, there’s not a lot of things that I look at like that, just in case you don’t know me, I’m not walking around like I could do this and this. And I was just like, but that was like, a little like ding […] you know? So then I got to join them, and then it was just so fun. Like, it was so freeing to not have, like, also, like, a kind of a lazy Pisces. So I like, I like not having to, like, study the dialog and learn, like, what’s my character’s choice here? Like, I like just doing the improv of it all, like being in the moment. And I also love if I’m gonna go like cornball about improv, but what I love about improv is just, you have to be in the moment. So it’s, that’s what I love it for, for life, like you can’t be neurotic. You can’t be indulging your neuroses while doing improv, because you have to be there, and then once you learn how to be really there and not plan anything ahead or anything like, I think that’s just very freeing.
Samantha Bee 20:51
Only if you truly love something can the thing itself, like the work itself is the fun part, almost like it’s not meditating, but it’s almost a meditation, in a way, because you’re like, to have to turn everything else off. You have to, you can’t be, like, going through your grocery list or your improv, like the improvisation is not going to work or, like, the team work is not going to work when you go out, or when you would go out to do improv. Were you nervous, or were you like.
Rachel Dratch 21:23
Oh, yes. I mean, fear is definitely part of it. I mean, as a matter of fact, it’s funny, we’re saying this because I’m doing some improv. I haven’t improvised first of all, well, I finally got to Chicago, I’m improvising like, every night in Second City, and then you get, like, you lose the fear because you’re doing it every single night, and you get really, really good, and you’re not like, oh, I hope this goes really well. And that’s like, you know, the enemy of improv, so, you get this flow going, well, there’s like, back that, I couldn’t imagine that I was gonna sort of grow up in quotes and have a time when I’m not doing improv every night. I just thought, like, this is my life pick. And now I haven’t improvised in years and years, and I’m about to do some promotions in Maine with some with Matt Walsh and and some guys from Chicago. I said, okay, because I was going to be up in New England. And now I’m, like, terrified, like, I haven’t improvised in years, so I definitely don’t have the flow. We’ll see how that goes but I just think it’s funny here I am talking about how bad it brothers and I might, I might eat it in two weeks. So I might eat these words and eat it on stage in two weeks.
Samantha Bee 22:30
But let me recommend the Pad Thai, it’s incredible.
Rachel Dratch 22:36
Instead of the lobster roll.
Samantha Bee 22:38
Do not get a lobster roll. Don’t bother.
Rachel Dratch 22:41
All right, wait, did you ever do improv? Or do you come in?
Samantha Bee 22:45
I didn’t, okay, I do a sketch. I came in via sketch, and it was like, I mean, we would improvise in the service of writing a sketch, but then we would all go away and write so totally different, different, but different, but similar. Like a kind of a parallel track of performing all the time and putting on shows, standing in front of an audience for no money, asking them to like you.
Rachel Dratch 23:12
Right, I’m just a girl. I’m just a girl. Audience for no money, yes.
Samantha Bee 23:18
Then when you would like finish a show, well, you’ll experience this soon. Were you like, so calm? Is it calming? Like, when you come off, you’re like, Oh, it’s just, I feel invigorated.
Rachel Dratch 23:31
I mean, so back then, like, you know, I started out at this it took a while to get into second city, so I went to this place called Improv Olympic. And like, you’re still learning so much, you know, like you’re learning about just like, in terms of, you know, you’re doing this group improv thing, like, when a scene is supposed to end, you feel the Edit should come in. And like, when you start to edit because, you know, it’s the over, instead of because you have an idea, like, you just jump out not knowing. Like you just things like that like you just get better and better and more used to the audience too. Like, there’s something about getting to know an audience. But I sort of think, like with improv, like 80% of it is pretty good, and then 10% is amazing. Like, oh my God, how do we do that? And then there’s the other 10% like, bombs, so embarrassing. Like those ones, I definitely felt it in my body, like when I do something, even now, if I do something that tanks like, Oh, like that that sticks with me long past if I do something great, that’ll go away in like half an hour, doing my body but, but something bad, like, I’ll wake up the next day just be like, that shame that public, because I want to lean out, I want to poke through the fourth wall and be like, I know this sucks. Like, okay, I know I do, like, that’s the way you can’t do that. So you’re just up there flat, sweating so but everyone needs feeling through that. Everyone go through that feeling.
Samantha Bee 24:57
Shame, where you’re like, your cheeks are hot.
Rachel Dratch 25:00
Yes.
Samantha Bee 25:01
Like, hot shame, so memorable. I hate it. Hot shame, if social media and like that DIY, kind of like the world of like Tiktok and like reels and stuff. Do you think you would have launched into comedy if that had existed when you were coming up.
Rachel Dratch 25:25
I’ve never thought of that. I mean, it’s so different now, when people ask me for advice, because what we did to, you know, move ahead. The biz is so different now you can just make your own stuff. So I have no idea, I don’t know.
Samantha Bee 25:41
I do feel like the business is changing so much, not to again, not to be too show businessy, but that’s what that world that late are living. Like, I do feel like the business itself, entertainment business has changed so much, just contracted so much, that it feels like, in a way, the future is totally DIY.
Rachel Dratch 26:03
Yeah well, you also I was thinking, because when we were coming up, we had so much experience in front of a live audience and, like, the hot shame of it all, and when something’s going well, like that reading of an audience that’s you just have to learn, like, that’s kind of gone now, because people can just make their own stuff, and there is no there’s no live audience, so let’s stand up. But anyway, in my day, you had to feed an audience, you had to put it out on the internet.
Samantha Bee 26:36
You can’t just be on Tiktok and then go fill a stadium. That was a process. We all burned in the fire, the fires of shame. Well, tell me about the transition to to like Broadway, because you did. You literally won a Tony for bonus.
Rachel Dratch 26:57
Yeah, well I mean, thank you. Um, no, I had done, um, you know, all that theater in Chicago, so, you know, cute me holding a long cigarette, but I started out in the theater. So, I mean, I was so done a lot of plays. And, you know, we perform six nights a week in second City so, but getting picked to do POTUS, which was seven women comedy and I got to be the kind of like the clown, like a lot of physical come it was, it was so fun. At first, they had offered me this other part, and I was like, I didn’t really feel like that was me. And then I was like, and most of it was cast. And then I was like, Well, is this part taken? And she said, no, it’s not taken, and they’re there. It was written for someone that still see really young, like a, you know, 24 year old, just out of school, whatever, to be this secretary. And this character was always like, she starts out really timid and mousy, and then she accidentally takes drugs, and the second act, she’s like out of her mind. But then they, they said, I could do it so, um, the character changed just a little bit, but, um, but, yeah, it was, it was so fun. It reminded me of being back at Second City, because it was just, you know, you could add whatever physical comedy you wanted part so.
Samantha Bee 28:18
That is so funny, because when you describe the character I’m like, that sounds exactly like a character that you would play, just like, so, oh no, just like a character that starts out.
Rachel Dratch 28:27
Exactly, it had both things that I love, like I always play mousy people so that, like being the person, okay, you know, that’s like Vanessa Williams was the first lady, and I was always scared of hers. It was really fun to be running around perfect. But then I got to, like, totally tripping balls, exactly.
Samantha Bee 28:46
Yeah, it’s perfect. you get to unleash, did you like the cadence of the shows? I mean, they do that’s like a hard, it’s kind of a different I mean, it’s, it’s still, like the same performing muscles, but it’s the space is like an echoing, like a gigantic.
Rachel Dratch 29:03
Yeah, um, I mean, it’s where it didn’t feel as large as I thought it was a giant theater, but I don’t know, felt okay, yeah, I love it. I love it.
Samantha Bee 29:15
I love it oh, my God. I just remembered. I literally just remembered my ghost story. I lived in a ghost house. What am I talking about?
Rachel Dratch 29:24
Oh, my God, what the hell?
Samantha Bee 29:26
I grew up I spent a large part of my youth living in a Veterans Hospital, living in a defunct and living in a defunct Veterans Hospital, yes.
Rachel Dratch 29:37
I love it that you forgot that.
Samantha Bee 29:39
Yeah, I did [..] haunted house, yeah.
Rachel Dratch 29:45
Maybe you blocked it out like I […]
Samantha Bee 29:48
I often forget, and then people go, remember when you told everybody that you lived in like an old, defunct hospital? And I’m like, oh yes, I did yes, that’s right, I did. I don’t think about it too often but it was.
Rachel Dratch 30:01
How did it come to be? Were you a child?
Samantha Bee 30:03
I was a child yeah, I was a child, and my mom, I moved in with my mom and her boyfriend and his he owned this. Sorry, this is not at all.
Rachel Dratch 30:13
I know, but I need to have you on the on the podcast.
Samantha Bee 30:15
Yeah, but he owned this huge house, like it was, like a corner house, very decrepit, by the way, let’s not even pretend that it wasn’t, but it was like, and it still is there. It is still a decrepit house that lived that’s like a huge kind of city block that had been a Veteran’s Hospital after the war, and it had become like a rooming house. So it was all like little different, like single men’s apartments with like, a bathroom down the hall. And they, because it was the 70s, they were like, just take the top apartment. And so I would, I had the top apartment to myself. And it was the scariest, oh, my goodness, on God’s it was the scariest house, and I betcha it is. I actually walked past there recently. I went to Toronto, where I grew up, and I walked past the house, and I was like, I can’t even stand on the corner with this house. I don’t even want to be here looking at it. It was a nightmare home. Just a nightmare. No, come on, too.
Samantha Bee 31:24
Many details, because I want to save them.
Samantha Bee 33:33
We’ll be right back after this.
Samantha Bee 34:00
Okay, total transition.
Rachel Dratch 34:02
Okay.
Samantha Bee 34:02
I read.
Rachel Dratch 34:03
Uh oh.
Samantha Bee 34:04
Tell me if it’s true, no.
Rachel Dratch 34:06
okay.
Samantha Bee 34:07
What I read about, no, but I read that when you were experiencing early pregnancy signs, you thought you were actually going through perimenopause.
Rachel Dratch 34:16
You know, I thought it was going through straight up menopause, because my mom had really early menopause. She was 41 so I knew that. So then once I so and I always wanted kids, but I didn’t consider it doing by myself and I wasn’t with a partner, and so then I sort of had let go of the idea of having kids, especially once I hit 40 with all the stuff you hear, even though, sure, half those SNL ladies have had babies after 40 so, ladies, it’s not too late. But anyway, I don’t want to be insensitive, because Okay, whatever, I was 43 and yeah, then I had a late period. And then I do.
Samantha Bee 35:01
I could tell you that you were going to have a child [..]
Rachel Dratch 35:04
So I was doing a play in LA and this, friend, and I know, took me to a psychic for, like, my 43rd birthday, like, as a present. But it wasn’t just a psychic, it was a channeler. So you go in and she’s like, she looks down, and then she like, looks up, and she’s like, she was talking in a regular voice. But regular voice, but then she channels the spirit, and so then she suddenly was like, oh, hello, thank you for coming to see me. Oh, she starts talking in this accent, in this high voice, like this, and she’s very friendly and […] But I was sort of, like, stunned, you know, what is happening? Like, it wasn’t like. I wasn’t just going, just so, you know, I wasn’t like, uh huh. I was like, what the is going on? You know, when she started talking about voice, then she said a few things right off the bat that were not like, Googly things. They were like, things I felt so I was like, oh, wow. Okay, she’s, she, she’s on to something here. But anyway, then towards the end, she asked if I had any other questions, and I said, am I going to meet somebody? Because that was my constant question, um, and she’s, she said, you’re going to meet someone in three months. But she said, no, wait three to six months, and you’re going to have one child. And I was 43 aforementioned mom with early menopause. And I was sort of like, okay, lady like, I wanted to believe it, but I was like, not really believing. And then, oh, I said, am I going to have to do anything to meet this person? She said, no, you don’t have to do anything. Well, four months later, I went to a bar around the corner from my house with a friend, and I met John, who is now the father of my child, but I met him at the bar around the corner of my house, and we started chatting. I didn’t have to do anything. Was like, very easy conversation, and that he lived in California. We started long distance dating, nothing crazy serious, really, like, you know, it’s in my early 40s then, I don’t know when after that, but then, yeah, then I thought I was going through menopause. And then I was talking on the phone with my friend she’s like, I was bummed because I was, you know, 43 and I was like, I think I’m going through menopause, she’s like, maybe you’re pregnant. I was like no, that’s not, and then I got the test just to sort of like, rule it out. I wasn’t all like, like, God and then when I saw the whatever it was, the two lines, oh my god, shock, shock of my life. That’s so funny, because when we’re I was thinking about big choice. I was like, well, this is like the biggest thing that I have. But it wasn’t a choice it was like a, I feel like, you know, magic from above or something. That’s how I I mean, I’m just like, feel like I kind of won the lottery, because I don’t know, I just have this great kid.
Samantha Bee 37:56
That’s amazing. Yeah, that’s amazing.
Rachel Dratch 38:08
Yes.
Samantha Bee 38:09
How shocking to look at the little pregnancy test.
Rachel Dratch 38:11
I was so shocked. I wasn’t even, like, holding it, like, oh, what’s it gonna say? I put it down, I was watching some stupid, like, talk show or something. And then I came back in, like, doo […] pick it up. I mean, like, the hair on the back of my neck, you know, I was freaking out.
Samantha Bee 38:32
Did you get the little form? And you’re like, wait, what does this mean? It does like, the instructions again.
Rachel Dratch 38:38
Yeah.
Samantha Bee 38:39
Did you go get another one after that, you were like, maybe that was menopause.
Rachel Dratch 38:43
Well, I coincidentally had a doctor’s appointment, like the next day, total coincidence, and then I got it confirmed, and then off to the races, yes.
Samantha Bee 38:56
Oh my God, because I also did read from that about you that I also feel like very deeply in my bones that you said that I’m a mom who does comedy when it comes around, and that your main thing is school pickup.
Rachel Dratch 39:11
Oh, okay, yeah, so oh, first of all, I forgot to say that the day that I looked the thing, the pregnancy test, then I remembered the psychic thing, because I hadn’t been in my mind, like I had, I wasn’t thinking about that every day like, yeah, um, and then, like, later that time was like, oh, you know, I just got chills, but I but, like, the channel, just, like the channel, oh, my God. Like, you know, that was okay anyway, but yeah, then at that time, um, the Jobs had slowed down a lot like, I was sort of like, working, you know, here and there, and I was lamenting it, you know, but then, yeah, I actually was psyched that I had all this time to be a mom. It was kind of reverse, whatever, I don’t know, like I did it on different timeline, but that’s just how it happened.
Samantha Bee 39:57
I love school pickup, I love school drop off, and I love, school pickup it’s my favorite.
Rachel Dratch 40:01
Oh, my God this is so funny. So I have a friend, and she’s very like, chic. I would say she’s like, a breeze, she’s breezy, chic, breezy we were, like, going to this clothing sale thing, and she was like, Oh, this would be great for school pickup. And I was like, bitch, like, when she’s, like, had this, like, really nice clothes and skirt combo, oh, this would be great for school pickup. And I was like, what? This didn’t, it didn’t even cross my mind to dress up for school pickup, I mean, we’re in New York City, baby. But still, definitely did not cross I didn’t know that was even a concept, you know, so but I guess it is, do you ever dress for school? I never give a care.
Samantha Bee 40:47
No, I love school pickup. I love dress, I love drop off. I love it especially love drop off because I’m up early and I like, I feel like it’s like a good even though my kids are really.
Rachel Dratch 41:00
I don’t have it.
Samantha Bee 41:01
Oh.
Rachel Dratch 41:01
I don’t have it anymore because they take it. He takes he takes the fun. But I used to, yeah, too long ago, because I’m.
Samantha Bee 41:08
Well, my kids are kind of aging out, yeah, like, they don’t really, they’re not that. They’re not that into it, or they make me, I still do it, even though they’re, like, 16, okay, but I have to drop them early because they won’t be they don’t want to be. Usually, I feel like school drop off pickup is just a big coat that you hide all year that’s shameful outfits underneath, not like a skirt.
Rachel Dratch 41:10
Crazy chic, your combo, just some stupid necklace.
Samantha Bee 41:41
Just like a boho kind of sheet.
Rachel Dratch 41:44
We actually hold on, I gotta tell you over there, so I just did this. Okay, I’m in a video that just went viral because, and I never like, I’m not on Tiktok, whatever, but Amy Poehler is, and she is a giant following. So I went to dinner the other night with her, Rashida Jones, Seth Meyers, and as we’re walking out of dinner, Amy’s like, oh, let’s just do this Tiktok. It’s this thing people are doing now where they say what they’re wearing. And I’m like, so I’m like, the older is like, what? What is this? And like, you say, like […]
Samantha Bee 42:19
Well, I know those things, but they grace my.
Rachel Dratch 42:22
I didn’t even know.
Samantha Bee 42:23
Once a while, I’m like, what are they doing?
Rachel Dratch 42:25
I’m like, this is so dumb, what? Okay, and, um, so I do it. Now I almost wore to that dinner this cute dress that actually I was shopping with the breezy chic lady. I got the cute dress and I had this. I even bought very on me. I bought this, like, cool, big necklace, and I was and I said to the sales. I was like, well, this isn’t, this isn’t me. Like, I don’t usually. She’s like, well, this could be you. She was like, well, this could be you. So anyway, I almost wore just cute thing with the necklace about but instead, because I was like, I’m not, like, feeling this. So instead, I threw on this simple black dress that actually polar had cast off to me. It was very simple. Anyway, I don’t know that I’m walking, and now I’m in this video that’s seen, been seen like 11 million times, and I almost wore, like, the outfit you’d want.
Samantha Bee 43:16
The perfect outfit.
Rachel Dratch 43:17
Yeah, I’m just lamenting that I, you know, I don’t leave the house with, like, you know, thinking that I’m gonna go viral.
Samantha Bee 43:23
Make videos and go viral.
Rachel Dratch 43:25
Exactly, so that’s another clothing related anecdote.
Samantha Bee 43:30
God damn it, damn it statement.
Rachel Dratch 43:35
I could have had a real, yeah, real fashion, a real fashion statement but.
Samantha Bee 43:40
I’m amazed by statement necklaces, because I always think that they look like Wilma Flintstone.
Rachel Dratch 43:46
Oh, that’s hilarious.
Samantha Bee 43:47
I just think of Wilma Flintstone. I’m like, I can’t, I don’t understand.
Rachel Dratch 43:53
I’m gonna think of Wilma when I when I saw this piece, yeah.
Samantha Bee 43:57
Like, no one gives a literal shit what I wear anymore, and that is great for me, because it’s fine. I don’t care but like, anytime in the past, if you ever work with someone, they’re like, what about this? And it’s just like a huge, like, it’s like a, just a, like, a claw on your neck, or, like, some big thing that is, like clutching at your neck. And every time I put on something like that, it looks like I’m being strangled. It looks like there’s like a monster behind me trying to choke me. Like, talk about just like your clothes wearing you, do you know what I mean?
Rachel Dratch 44:33
Yes.
Samantha Bee 44:34
Just a, just a real, just a real, like Marge Simpson, do you feel like you’re now? Do you feel like you’re in? Because I do feel like I’m in a little bit in, in my fuck it years. I’m just like, ah, fuck it. I don’t have time. Let’s just do what we want to do. Are you doing what you want to do now? Are you, like, fucking.
Rachel Dratch 44:55
You know what I feel like I’m in this transition, because I’m just coming out of, like, my kid needing me there all the time. And so this is kind of hard, because now I’m like, what I have this big, empty like, what, who am I like? What do I want to do? And it’s weird, like, my life, I like having my little buddy there all the time, like I’m his best bud. But now, of course, he wants to hang with his friends and go off and do things and have its own choices, and so I’m it’s like a, I didn’t realize how much of a like adjustment that is. So I don’t really know, I don’t know who I am no, I don’t know like, what I want to go out and do right now, but I have to find something.
Samantha Bee 45:38
I think that that is something that we do not talk enough about as mothers, especially, it’s like finding purpose when your purpose is no longer to do, like all the nourishment and all the caretaking, like when they’re more independent. I’m a little I share your feeling of, like, trying to find some purpose. I do think that they need you emotionally, in their need you a lot, they still need you a lot. But the form yes is different.
Rachel Dratch 46:11
I agree.
Samantha Bee 46:13
And the round the clockness.
Rachel Dratch 46:17
Take up, I don’t know.
Samantha Bee 46:20
Have you, like Googled, what are my what are good hobbies?
Rachel Dratch 46:24
Whenever, like, whenever I get a thing, a survey, it’s like, what are your hobbies? I’m like, I don’t know, drinking margaritas. I gotta find something like real. When you’re in high school, you’re like, I do class Council, and I play the cello and I love it. And like, now, what are my hobbies? I don’t know.
Samantha Bee 46:42
Yeah, I have a valid driver’s license.
Rachel Dratch 46:46
Special skills?
Samantha Bee 46:48
No, I know. I’m like, do I am I supposed to learn a language? Go, it changes every day, too. I wake up and I’m like, you know what I gotta do? I gotta start lifting weights. And then I go, yeah, well, if I did, it would be great, it’s not happening currently. My God, this was so fun.
Rachel Dratch 47:10
Oh, good. Hope I talked about my choice enough.
Samantha Bee 47:14
Rachel, you deliver.
Rachel Dratch 47:15
Okay, good.
Samantha Bee 47:16
You always deliver.
Rachel Dratch 47:17
All right.
Samantha Bee 47:18
You’re a deliverer.
Rachel Dratch 47:20
Thank you. Glad we made it happen.
Samantha Bee 47:28
That was Rachel Dratch, and I had no choice but to look up one thing Rachel mentioned that she’s a lazy Pisces. Which one is actually a great band name. But also, I don’t do a lot of astrology, so I wanted to see what Pisces generally are known for, even lazy ones. Okay, turns out they can be empathetic, emotional, creative, generous and imaginative. That’s pretty on the money. Thanks for joining us. I’m Samantha Bee. See you next week for some more Choice Words.
CREDITS 48:14
Thank you for listening to Choice Words, which was created by and is hosted by me. The show is produced by its via Baron Reinstein, with editing and additional producing by Josh Richmond. We’re distributed by Lemonada Media, and you can find me @realsambee on X and Instagram. Follow Choice Words wherever you get your podcasts, or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.
