This Apology is Rainbow: I’m Sorry Pride Month Special
Hoja, Kiki, and Mohanad are joined by the epic Chicago drag queen Derry Queen for this special Pride month episode of I’m Sorry. They take a look back at some classic movies that don’t quite hold up in 2022, and celebrate new queer movies like Fire Island and Bros. They talk about gatekeeping within the LGBTQ community, the onslaught of anti-LGBTQ bills cropping up around the country, and of course, rainbow capitalism. Plus, the crew reveals their dream corporate pride collaborations (Himbo Tony the Tiger, anyone?), and Hoja gets not one but two apologies on this week’s Sorry Not Sorry.
Please note, I’m Sorry contains mature themes and may not be appropriate for all listeners.
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Hoja Lopez, Mohanad Elshieky, Kiki Monique, Derry Queen
Kiki Monique 00:08
I’m Kiki Monique. And this is I’M SORRY, your weekly dose of pop culture, celebrity missteps and public apologies. And this week, I decided to start swiping on dating apps again and I immediately regretted it.
Mohanad Elshieky 00:22
This is Mohanad Elshieky, and this week the summer is in and I do not like it. I’m over it. It can be done right now.
Derry Queen 00:32
And I’m Hoja Lopez. And this week, I watched my gayest lesbian friend order whole milk coffee, and watch the five other people just mouth agape. Like how dare you order full dairy? Are you even gay? Was our question.
Kiki Monique 00:51
If it’s not oat milk, is it even real?
Derry Queen 00:54
It’s you’re straight essentially, you’re yelling at the rooftops that you are into heteronormativity and it really just took us all by surprise.
Mohanad Elshieky 01:04
You ever like see someone like order like and they ask for soy milk? And I’m like, do you know there was a better life there? Why are you doing this?
Kiki Monique 01:13
I honestly feel that way about almond milk. I mean, I’ve progressed beyond that. I’m like really? We’re still there. Almonds? Do you know much water that uses?
Derry Queen 01:23
I will partake in dairy if it’s ice cream. And if it’s cheese so I’ve got my other arenas but live straight up dairy liquid and my coffee is, no ma’am.
Kiki Monique 01:36
Well, look, I love a good half and half and I won’t ever give that up fully. The great thing about oat milk is that it comes in such a creamy, creamy form. And I hate even saying it. Yeah, creamy form that you don’t even need the half and half. But I do appreciate a good half and half.
Mohanad Elshieky 01:54
It’s just like part of the country like when you’re in and you ask for like oat milk or something like that. They make you feel like you’re like one of those coastal elites. They look at you and they’re like, buddy, there’s a cow in the back right now that I’m gonna get the milk from. It’s not oat. She’s not made of oat. She can do that. So, Vicky the cow can’t make it then I have no idea what you want.
Derry Queen 02:20
Yeah, they didn’t have any oat milk when I went to Mexico a couple weeks ago. That’s how they looked at me there too. They were like, no, but we know, but we know, people have been asking us for this. But we don’t have it.
Mohanad Elshieky 02:33
Yeah. Well, speaking of other parts of the country, I was in Ohio, Cleveland, Ohio this weekend. I’m sorry to Cleveland. I mean, the city is beautiful, but like and it’s green, but my god, the food. Absolutely not.
Derry Queen 02:52
You’re saying Cleveland is not a mecca for gastronomy?
Mohanad Elshieky 02:56
I don’t know what it’s a mecca for honestly. But it’s not a mecca for comedy. I’ll tell you that much. It was wild. This is the first time me like performing there. And it was with Hari Kondabolu there. And he was headlining and it was featuring. And my God, this second show I believe on Friday. We had this woman who was like sitting in the front has bright red hair. And she was sitting with this man and then literally, like, maybe like, one minute in into my set. She started talking,
Hoja Lopez 03:36
Like out loud, to you out loud?
Mohanad Elshieky 03:39
I was just, I was like, I do not know if you think this set will change based on what you’re saying. It’s not. This is all mostly prepared material. And I have the mic in my hand. I don’t know why you’re talking to me.
Kiki Monique 03:54
Wait she’s talking to you and like what is she saying?
Mohanad Elshieky 03:57
Basically, she was like, kind of like interjecting with the jokes. She was like, you know, like providing her commentary.
Derry Queen 04:03
Like Twitter live essentially? She’s like sub tweeting you in a room.
Mohanad Elshieky 04:08
Exactly. Yeah. And I said, and I remember I have this joke. I start with what I’m like, I don’t like when people try to guess where I’m from. And then she started doing that. She literally yelled at some point she would like Nicaragua and I was like, what?
Kiki Monique 04:25
What does that mean?
Mohanad Elshieky 04:26
I remember at some point, I said, okay, you can stop talking right now.
Derry Queen 04:31
Oh, you just started straight up asking her to shut the fuck up.
Mohanad Elshieky 04:36
I was like it’s okay, you don’t need to provide commentary. And then she was like, you know, she was like, feeling very weird. Like she like started acting very weird. She was like, very silent and just like, started looking at a table. Then she left for a long time and then came back. And I was just like, man, look, I know she’s very annoying, but I want people to have a good show. So I was like, hey, lady, I was like, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I just don’t want you to talk during the show. So if you can just you know, just enjoy the show. I don’t want you to be upset. I don’t need this on my conscious right now. So if we can move..
Kiki Monique 05:17
Now you’re having to console her during your comedy set.
Mohanad Elshieky 05:20
And then a little bit I was like, I asked her name. Like, Okay, everyone, please clap for her name. Just you know, just to get her back in the show.
Derry Queen 05:27
Let’s call her Miranda just because she’s a redhead. It just makes sense.
Mohanad Elshieky 05:31
And at the end of the day, it’s not my shows I wanted, like the headliner to have a good show, you know, and then literally regretted doing that. The second I introduced a headliner, because Hari started talking. And then she immediately interjected and started telling him this weird story. and I was like, lady, I just treated you with dignity right now. And I regret that.
Kiki Monique 05:56
Who are these people that just like start talking during comedy shows?
Mohanad Elshieky 06:01
I know. And then when he had like, he started teasing her. And then he was like, you know, of course, you know? Oh, I can’t believe that. The woman with the red hair is looking for attention. But then she literally just like flipped him off Basically, when she came and sat on the stage. Yes.
Kiki Monique 06:23
She’s like on something.
Derry Queen 06:25
Yeah. Like, ill.
Mohanad Elshieky 06:27
I think so. And then, and then the people on the menu came and just like literally just like, kicked her out.
Kiki Monique 06:34
Is this your first heckler?
Mohanad Elshieky 06:36
I mean, I had people in the past who are like, you know, do that. It’s just like to be fair, most of the people I got heckled me, he’s like, they think they’re helping. And it’s very hard. You know, it’s very hard because, like, you know, they’re not doing it out of like, it’s not malicious. It’s just like, they think this is helping the show. So I have to be like, Hey, I’m good on my own. I can handle this.
Derry Queen 06:57
Like they feel like they’re participating or making it lively and fun kind of thing. Exactly.
Mohanad Elshieky 07:02
Exactly. Yeah. But I did have an in few occasions I had someone who literally wanted me to come outside and fight them. In Astoria, Oregon, and I was like, sir, I’m not coming outside or and I’m not fighting you. I’m having a good time. Here. You can leave if you want to.
Derry Queen 07:22
Oh, my God. I just imagined hecklers at other people’s jobs and not just like stand up comedian jobs or it’s like somebody’s trying to heckle a surgeon in the middle of surgery or like, just places where like, you clearly they need focus, and they need to be able to do their job and you’re in the middle of that buddy. And you need to stop. I I one time witnessed somebody run on stage and headbutt somebody kind of like what how did Dave Chappelle, in Houston, Texas, they were telling a joke about something and then this guy started kind of talking out loud. And the comedian was like, Hey, you should stop and the guy got upset because the guy called him out. And I guess he was embarrassed. And he literally charged this person on stage at a small club, not even like a big place.
Kiki Monique 08:11
Well, you know, it’s like, here’s the thing about comedy clubs. It’s like, they force you to have a two drink minimum. So you already know you’re gonna get, you know, a knee braided folks. And I think people just feel like comedy is this participatory event, which I don’t understand why?
Mohanad Elshieky 08:28
I know I’m gonna get one person has the mic. I don’t know. I mean, I’m also starting a new show in New York City that I gave it a name that hopefully does not elicit insane people. It’s called the Illuminati presents.
Kiki Monique 08:47
Oh, yeah. You’re done.
Mohanad Elshieky 08:50
Do I have a permit on the poster? Yes, I do. With one eye, I sometimes like I feel like I am asking for trouble. And then when trouble happens, I’m like, why is it happening to me? That’s exactly what you’re doing. So I’m shamelessly plugging it on this podcast, it’s June 22nd. At the asylum, everyone should come to it in New York City.
Kiki Monique 09:12
It’s gonna be weekly, a weekly event?
Mohanad Elshieky 09:15
It’s a bi-weekly show. Yeah, it’s every two weeks. First one June 22. And then, you know, two weeks after that, there gonna be a new one. It’s sponsored by the Illuminati itself. They finally ventured into comedy.
Derry Queen 09:33
They know that’s the way to reach the masses for real.
Kiki Monique 09:37
They’ve already taken over all the other spaces, you know, according to conspiracy talk, so you know.
Mohanad Elshieky 09:42
Exactly. Can you sponsor me? And they’re like, Yeah, sure. I mean, we definitely need some diversity and..
Derry Queen 09:50
Right, I do. Well, I mean, if I did have to imagine Illuminati, I guess Beyonce and Jay Z are in it already. So they’ve got a little bit.
Kiki Monique 09:58
Yeah, I mean, I think they did versity means like, you know, the poor folk because Illuminati.. Scientology, you know, like..
Mohanad Elshieky 10:10
They said, we’ll pay you enough to live well, but not to be rich. Yeah, we kind of like, we spent too much money on some people and they kind of disappointed us and they were like, you know, Madonna and I was just like, Okay. I’m not gonna be Madonna, but I promise you.
Kiki Monique 10:28
They literally need their court jesters. I think that that’s where they’re at now.
Derry Queen 10:34
You know, I was just thinking about I went to Cleveland one time, and I remember going to a gay bar, and thinking this is the gayest thing I’ve ever been to in my life because it was like, it was called something like the leather stallion club or the leather stallion saloon. And it was really just a series of kind of like dudes and very tight leather outfits, kind of making out with each other. And then them sort of looking at me and my friend Emily, like, what are you two crazy people doing in here? We felt very out of place. But then we started drinking a little bit and it got good. But um, yeah, this leather selling saloon was pretty fun. They had these giant paintings of like leather daddy men making out with their butts out. And I said, That’s my kink. I love that I love murals of sexy guys, you know. It just was a great experience. And then other than that, I saw not one gay person in Cleveland, other than everybody in that bar.
Mohanad Elshieky 11:33
Well, I mean, I just see a lot just because what I want to June Pride Month, obviously, and there was a model. Yes, there was an event when I was there on Saturday. So yeah, everyone I saw on the street. I felt like the minority in a different way. I think I am the only straight person walking.
Derry Queen 11:51
How did that feel? Did it feel good? What did that feel like?
Mohanad Elshieky 11:56
I am used to being a minority in general. So just like another day, just in a different way.
Derry Queen 12:23
Speaking of pride, I have invited one of my very good friends here from the Chicago comedy scene. Derry Queen. She is a drag comedian. She is a stand up, she is a sketch artist. She also hosts some amazing shows around Chicago that you’ll have to go check out. But please welcome Derry Can’t wait to get into it. Welcome, Derry Queen. How are you doing?
Derry Queen 12:50
Hi, everybody. I’m doing so good. I’m having probably the best day of my life to be honest.
Derry Queen 12:57
I love catching people on the best day of their lives because then you participate by default. You’re associated with that, you know?
Derry Queen 13:04
And can I just say, I’m sorry, by the way. Can you say that anymore?
Derry Queen 13:10
Yeah, I think you could say it. What are you apologizing for? Why?
Derry Queen 13:15
I’m apologizing on behalf of just the world’s you know, this damn president we have an office. The past president you know, obviously I’m gonna set up a big ol apology boy today or girl depending, depending on the night or daytime.
Derry Queen 13:33
We’re so happy to have you. We were just talking about Mohanad being the only straight person in Cleveland when he went to Cleveland and that he’s very comfortable being minority. But you guys are my only straight friends. I want to let you know Mo and Kiki, that you’re the only straight friends that I have. And we’re thrust together by this podcast. But other than that, I feel like Derry, does your friend group, are they largely homosexual? Or queer in any way? Would you say that’s pretty accurate?
Derry Queen 14:02
Yes. Like I have a couple like straight boyfriends. They’re not my boyfriend’s. I want to make that very clear.
Kiki Monique 14:10
I was like this is interesting.
Derry Queen 14:13
Interesting topics. No, I have a couple of like straight friends. But they’re all like associated with like, only queer people. So it’s like, I mean, the comedy scene and I started in the comedy scene in Chicago. And then I went into the drag scene, comedy scenes, very queer centric, unless you’re just doing stand up because that is, as we all know, horribly straights. Like the sketch improv, like kinda like comedy is very queer. So that’s where I kind of landed. So you know, the gays are there but we got some straights around that, I don’t know. Maybe they like getting their dick tugged every once in a while. I don’t know. That’s not my business, you know?
Kiki Monique 14:49
And can we make this an equitable space? It could also be titties being twisted.
Derry Queen 14:52
Thank you for saying that.
Derry Queen 14:53
Thank you. Thank you, thank you. It’s not just the tugs. It’s the twists as well. Yeah, right depending on whether or not it’s day or night, some people but oh, okay, so I just watched the Easy A again do what did you guys remember this movie? It’s like Emma stones big foray into kind of stardom. And it’s honestly like pretty epic movie because it’s Amanda Bynes is in it, Lisa Kudrow is in it.
Kiki Monique 15:24
Oh, I’ll watch it. I remember the cover art, but I just for some reason, it just was like, I don’t know if it was an Emma Stone fan then, I’ll be honest.
Derry Queen 15:32
Got it. Well, she had just come off of like, I guess super bad. But she’d done a couple of other things. But I was watching it. And I was like, oh, I forgot that she out somebody to save herself in this movie. And I was like, you’re not allowed to do that.
Kiki Monique 15:52
How was outing somebody else save her. I get oh, I have to watch. I mean.
Hoja Lopez 15:58
It sort of deflects from her. And I’m so sorry. I’m spoiling it, but it has been for you know, 37 years. So. But yeah, I part of it is that she’s got a lot of like negative attention focused on herself. And so at this point, she’s like, You know what, he’s gay and just pointed somebody else in that moment. And I just was thinking because there’s, I feel like all my friends keep asking these questions of like, is that movie like, does it hold up kind of, and this one I felt didn’t really hold up that much. I thought it was fun, but it was okay. And then that got me thinking about like Ace Ventura, and the whole like, that whole like entire plotline being fully and painfully transphobic and I just was like, Are these movies watchable anymore? Like can we as good judy’s and good gays watch these movies? I’m struggling a little bit.
Derry Queen 16:51
It’s hard sometimes.
Mohanad Elshieky 16:53
Yeah, to be fair. Most of the media does no hold up before 2015, because if you want to talk about like TV shows that do not hold up in that aspect anymore. Let’s go and watch the first 10 seasons of Law and Order SVU. My God, the the homophobic slurs that they use and everything and that’s supposed to be the Special Victims Unit.
Derry Queen 17:20
They’re supposed to be special. They’re supposed to be special. Okay?
Hoja Lopez 17:25
I’m excited though. Because like there’s all these like new gay movies coming out like happiest season happened last year. And then there’s like Fire Island now and Bros is coming out with Billy Eichner. So I’m excited to see what we consider, like progressive. What you consider kind of like the new gay voice but I’ve watched Fire Island have you guys seen Fire Island?
Kiki Monique 17:45
I just watched it yesterday.
Derry Queen 17:47
I started watching the first 20 minutes with my boyfriend and then we started absolutely making out, so..
Kiki Monique 17:54
That’s how it’s supposed to be.
Hoja Lopez 17:55
You’re honoring the spirit of the movie. You watched it better than we did.
Derry Queen 17:59
Started the first 20 minutes eating Chinese food and then we moved into my bed and then things got a little crazy by the way. But I not fully watched it all the way.
Hoja Lopez 18:10
The first 40 minutes were fun. And I love Bowen Yang and I love Joel Kim Booster it was a really fun. And I frickin love Margaret totoo Yeah, just what a great little combo there. And I’m glad more of these movies are coming out.
Kiki Monique 18:25
Well, I just appreciated the fact that they you know, acknowledged how problematic White gay men can be in their own community and in general, and they sort of like just dealt with that head on. Because I don’t feel like that is talked about enough because I always like say like to the White gay man like you’re still white men. Remember that.
Derry Queen 18:47
That is like as someone like on the like frontlines of the drag scene in Chicago. It’s like you deal with a lot of shit. Let’s like seeing like, these White boys who think they’re like all that, like push their way to the front of the like crowds and like want to be like the center of attention the entire time. And we’re like, sit down, like sit down there was like this, like, absolute insane conversation that happened, happens like once a year here in Chicago about two years ago. Where like, all these gay men were like, if you’re a straight girl, or if you’re a lesbian, you’re not allowed in our bars here in Chicago. And we’re like, stop, like, you absolutely need to kick a soccer ball, take a seat and like to stop talking because that’s ridiculous. You know, nobody’s a gatekeeper. Especially for like, if you’re just like a White little twink. Like, you deserve to like, eat a sandwich. Like I don’t care, like stop.
Hoja Lopez 19:40
Yeah, I wonder what that is? Because there’s the I guess in some ways, it was like, when Will and Grace came out and there was this sort of like Rosie O’Donnell kind of character of like, I always imagine that gay men and women are lesbians were like, two people and they were back to back and just walking in sort of like opposite directions in some way, but I do think that that has definitely gotten a lot better in terms of like, kind of like dyke and queer culture taking more of a forefront versus just like, you know, gay men in Palm Springs with Labradoodles and Mojitos is like there’s a different vibe going on now.
Kiki Monique 20:18
Can I just interject for one second. As I know, like, it’s, it’s taken me a long time to sort of, like get comfortable with using the term queer because like, that was not a term that was like a positive one when I was growing up. And I understand it’s been reclaimed. And I understand that the straights like me are allowed to use it, even though like, I still I tend to, I don’t know, I still tend not to, even though I know it’s okay. I know, you use the D word. And I know it’s probably been reclaimed by lesbians. I don’t think that that has been, that hasn’t been again, reclaimed by everyone though, right? That’s still like lesbians only, correct?
Hoja Lopez 20:55
I am a big fan of saying all of the words. I have like no real. Of course, if somebody’s insulting me and saying it to me, in a mean way, bad boy, bad girl, bad person. But generally speaking, I’m kind of, especially within gay culture, I’m fine if gay men use […] I’m fine, you know, pretty much using all words, I definitely is the queer thing. I was actually recently trying to explain it to my dad again, this is two things I’ve tried to explain my dad this week. One of them was podcasting. He did not get it. And then the other one was the term queer.
Derry Queen 21:31
Two very similar things.
Derry Queen 21:34
And also my whole life, I pretty much. But I was trying to explain like, what fits under the umbrella of queer and it’s just, it’s just kind of a more open, flexible word in which you don’t have to be lesbian or gay, or pansexual, or something kind of deterministic and more. It’s almost cultural. What do you think?
Derry Queen 21:55
I mean, I identify when, like, when people ask me, like, what is your sexuality? What do you identify, as I say, queer, because, like, I, I am not just like a gay person who likes gay cisgender dudes, like I like pretty much everybody, like I’ve had relationships with all different kinds of people. And so I, I say queer, because it’s such an umbrella term where it’s like, I genuinely, genuinely do not have a preference that like, I could date anybody. And there’s just no word that seems better to me than that, because it also for me, aligns also with my, like, gender as well. Like, it’s very, like, I mean, I identify as like cisgendered and who’s he/him pronouns outside of drag, but like, I am very fluid with it, when it comes to being and drag and being androgynous sometimes, that like, that is important to me, it’s like to have a word that helps define myself as a whole. That’s not for everybody, but that’s how I reclaim it. And that’s how I explain it. So..
Derry Queen 22:52
Yeah, that’s a great point of like, it encompasses not just the, like, the kind of relationships that you have with other people, but also like the relationship that you have with yourself in terms of a gender binary, it includes kind of like all the different things that we think of as kind of gay sort of which now to me, I also would identify as gay because gay has taken a little bit of I think a wider Yeah, a wider interpretation as well.
Kiki Monique 23:19
Which is why like, you know, because you’re getting back to the movies like one of the movies I was thinking about that maybe didn’t age well, but is Chasing Amy, which is like, like Kevin Smith film and like, you know, the whole premise is like Ben Affleck falls in love with this lesbian and then so they decided to give it a go and now like of course it like you know, those in 90s that it came out you know, it comes across as like I can you know, make this lesbian straight, but I think in today’s, that movie could still work but it would just be under this you know, umbrella like, look yeah, I want to try this out. Sure. Maybe that doesn’t work. And you know, like, maybe she wasn’t a lesbian. Maybe she was pansexual or maybe she just was you know, bisexual, who knows?
Mohanad Elshieky 24:09
Yeah, I just my general thing is that I think queer is okay to use as I hear that I don’t think of it as a bad word. Unless you see it in a Boston accent. I’m like man, this sounds like a slur. Like the second you see that a Boston accent like this does not feel good.
Derry Queen 24:29
Speaking of Boston accent I recently rewatched for whatever reason I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. It was wild ride I think different Boston or New York or something with like a crazy accent and I’m like, this is just what it’s like coming from such a good place. But boy do they miss the mark on so many areas.
Hoja Lopez 24:53
Oh my God, who knew that Adam Sandler and oh my God, what’s his name? Kevin James, they were going to be the arbiters of that so early, like that was not a new movie. Like that movie is maybe a decade old.
Derry Queen 25:08
Oh, it’s like I think it was like 2008, maybe, I don’t know, something like that.
Hoja Lopez 25:11
Oh my God, they really took a fucking leap there.
Derry Queen 25:16
But they definitely took a leap. But while taking that leap definitely did throw in a couple of not so good leaps, a couple punch downs.
Hoja Lopez 25:27
What do you remember about it? Like, what stood out for you?
Derry Queen 25:29
I mean, like, the concept of them wanting to get married to if I remember correctly, I’m wanting to get married to like, keep his kids or something I can’t remember because his wife died. And then like, I was like, okay, well, that’s kind of shady. Because it’s like, you’re just like, getting married for the sake of that and not for queer, whatever. And so but then, like, it ends up being like, through it all. They find the importance of gay relationships. And like, oh, wait, they’re not so bad. Like when the hot girl takes off her glasses. It’s wild. Maybe gay people aren’t terrible. Crazy. But yeah, it was a wild ride.
Hoja Lopez 26:36
Oh my god, did you guys read the article about the drag shows under fire in Texas for that really, Dan Crenshaw, you character villain of a man.
Derry Queen 26:47
He’s a combination of like Krong from emperor’s new grooves like dumbass brain and like, but like not in like a funny way or a hot way. It’s it’s an absolute himbo and like a combination of […] being evil, and a combination of the Cusco being a king, and the thing of a ruthless absolute hound, and so that’s me promoting Emperor’s New Groove for everybody listening.
Kiki Monique 27:16
It’s like, so sad that like, you know, people who are, you know, trying to ban you know, drag queen or miners going to, like drag brunches, you know, before, you know, banning guns. It’s just weird to me that like when they see drag queens, all they see is sex. Yeah, just like this over sexualization of the gay community of the drag community. It’s just weird to me. Like it’s a performance. Like if you went to Japan, and you watch is it a kabuki show, right? Like, isn’t that like on par with like, a drag show in the US? Like, it would be considered art, right? But like, for some reason, they don’t look at it the same way it seems.
Mohanad Elshieky 27:57
But you’re talking about people that they see everything as sex, and it’s truly just who they are. This is like, you know, how they view the shows, this is how they view women. This is everything. I mean, like who can forget that very famous incident, where Ted Cruz liked a porn video on the anniversary of 9/11. It’s the anniversary of 9/11, and this man is scrolling through porn. And then liked it by mistake. And let’s just like buddy, come on.
Derry Queen 28:36
Come on Mr. Cruz
Hoja Lopez 28:38
Come on. Mr. Cruz. Yeah, it definitely feels like we’ve made it you know, and now we got to dispel and learn a bunch of shit again, but but hey, I want to oh, yeah. What was the I think you sent me, Mohanad, Something about the corporations during pride month, the US Marine, a little thing that you sent me. You should, wait. I know Mo you’ve seen it. But Derry, you’ve got to hear this. Like, what was the commercial exactly?
Mohanad Elshieky 29:10
So you know, there’s this famous meme, where it just shows like Republicans and there’s a drone and it just like, you know, basically just like bombing people and then Democrats but it has like the pride flag on it. And it’s the same drone just killing people. Yeah, I think the US Marines saw that meme. And you’re like, yes, this is actually good. Let’s do that. And you see a helmet has proud to serve on it. And it has bullets and every bullet is a different colors, the rainbow on it. And it says you know, throughout June, we take pride in recognizing and honoring the contribution of our LGBTQ service members. Like okay, you know what, if you want to post that, that’s fine. post a tweet by itself. Just the fact that You colored the bullets? Like I’m just trying to just imagine their thought process into this, they were like war is gay and that is fine.
Derry Queen 30:13
You know, it was some 50 year old straight man who is on photoshopping like, I did it. I did it. I ended. I brought together people this pride season.
Mohanad Elshieky 30:25
It’s yeah, like I just imagine, like, just, you know, a family that just lost their father in a war or something. And they’re like, it’s okay, son. It was the gay bullets.
Derry Queen 30:39
Kiki Monique 30:40
I mean, I will never feel sorry for corporations ever, ever. But like I also know they’ll never win because if they say nothing, everyone’s like, you are anti gay. And if they say something they would like you are a terrible ally.
Derry Queen 30:54
What’s everyone’s dream corporate pride. Like, collaboration? Because I really want to see like an absolute himbo Tony the Tiger. That’s like what I want.
Kiki Monique 31:08
I want chick fil-A because I want to be able to eat there, without fear of saying.
Derry Queen 31:14
Why did they have to make the waffle fries so good.
Kiki Monique 31:19
Those dipping sauces are elite.
Hoja Lopez 31:21
Truly the biggest homosexual dilemma is whether or not to go to Chick-fil-A. I found myself in a Chick-fil-A line and then like a person who realized they were doing bad literally, like eat it off of the line and been like what are you doing? What are you doing get out of here? There’s a Raising Cane’s two blocks from here. Just as accessible you bitch. Yeah, Chick-fil-A is a good one. I am. Maybe something like my first thought, I don’t know. Why was Microsoft Paint? If they could just be sort of like a tender? Like a tender lesbian? Sort of like Santa’s just beautiful pictures on paint on Microsoft in general I think just the full suite for Excel. There’s a lot to be done on there.
Mohanad Elshieky 32:09
I don’t know. I feel like for me, it would be like, because like most of the corporations that are just like, you know, general corporations are doing that already. I think it will be it’ll be very funny. It was like a weapon manufacturer.
Derry Queen 32:24
Just to keep it tight.
Mohanad Elshieky 32:25
Raytheon technology or like Lockheed Martin or some shit. Like something, you know, something insane like that. It’s just like, holy shit. Okay. Yes. But yeah, other than that, I feel like all corporations are like, have their own version of stuff now.
Hoja Lopez 32:46
Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do feel like everybody kind of puts out a little thing at least. Except for hobby lobby. They’re nice. They’re staying nice and straight. And you know, even faced with peer pressure and the pressure of a changing society and a progressive state and people wanting to live their lives in a free and loving authentic way. There you are Hobby Lobby. If you need to stay steadfast in your and your beliefs. I mean, this is America. Do you Mohanad and Kiki, do you guys have straight pride? Is that something you feel proud of?
Kiki Monique 33:26
I don’t think that no, who I have to date. What I’m left with no, I would actually much prefer that I could just date all of my girlfriends because they’re way better. Like what’s that six of the city so like, quote, it’s like, my girl like my girlfriends may be my actual soulmates and the guys are just there to have fun. That’s how I feel about life.
Mohanad Elshieky 33:51
I feel like when I when I think straight pride, I’m like, This just sounds like a proud boy rally.
Kiki Monique 33:58
Exactly. It definitely feels like when people say like I have White pride like no. You were born this way.
Mohanad Elshieky 34:08
You know what, remember when they tried to do that actually like a straight pride rally? And it was a surprise, surprise, it was in Boston and like maybe like 10 people showed up and it was like no one and it just looks so disorganized and whatnot and they’re just like, Oh my God.
Derry Queen 34:26
But you know what? They’ll always have Chuck and Larry they’ll always have Chuck and Larry.
Derry Queen 34:32
And weddings and baptisms and family reunion. Like they’ll have a lot of things that they can be straight up. When Okay, question when you guys like somebody how do you generally act, like are you guys like big? Are you big like hitting on people? Are you kind of like quiet little mice?
Kiki Monique 34:52
No, I’m like, definitely, I don’t, like I am an alpha female. So I actually want someone who like can like this sounds so bad, manhandled me.
Hoja Lopez 35:05
What about you Mo? Like when you’re getting together with your partner?
Mohanad Elshieky 35:10
I feel like you’re trying to trick me every time with these questions. I have been in a relationship for five years now. And every time you’re like.. I don’t know.
Hoja Lopez 35:22
One day, I’ll figure things out. I’m gonna get in there.
Mohanad Elshieky 35:26
You’ll try. But I am a very private person. I don’t even wear T-shirts on stage because I’m like, I don’t want people to know what my arms look like.
Hoja Lopez 35:40
Yeah, if I like somebody that means I’m never speaking to them again. That’s usually my MO. I’ll just avoid them at all costs. What about you Deery?
Derry Queen 35:51
If I like somebody, they are probably extremely scared. Because why would I like somebody that like I, my life is so chaotic and crazy with the performing I do, they’d probably be like, get me the hell out of here. Like what the hell, it takes a very special person to date a drag queen. I’ve learned that very quickly. So and I do not date other drag performers for the most part.
Derry Queen 36:17
For the most part, this is all very good to know. Well, I would definitely date a drag queen. They’re so beautiful and wonderful and are so talented. And I would also date a non drag queen as I do in my normal life. But it’s my fault. And and I am guilty of that. Well, Deery. Thank you so much for being on. We’re so happy you were able to join.
Derry Queen 36:41
Of course, of course. Thank you for having me. This is so fun.
Hoja Lopez 36:44
Love to have you anytime.
Derry Queen 36:45
Thank you. Anytime you want to talk about straight pride, you know I’m your girl.
Mohanad Elshieky 36:56
Well, now it’s time for my favorite segment that we do every week, which is sorry, not sorry, where we either apologize to someone, or we demand an apology, like every week. We’re gonna start with Hoja.
Derry Queen 37:10
Oh, yeah. So this week, I do have to say I’m sorry to guess who, […]. That’s me, you guys. Because I have a pattern where I am really bad at like returning things that I’ve purchased. It’s just something that I really cannot grasp fully. And I just have a little trove of a goldmine, I’m sitting on stuff that I have not returned, that I don’t want, and that I could have gotten the money back. But now the time has passed. And now I don’t know what I’m going to do. What am I going to do sell it on Poshmark? Give it away? Not sure.
Kiki Monique 37:50
You’re giving up way too easily. Because first of all, everything to me is like a Bed Bath and Beyond coupon it does not expire. I don’t care if they tell me it’s too late to return. I’m returning it.
Derry Queen 38:00
Well, maybe I should just send it back. And just start a campaign to get all my money back from various stores that I’ve purchased things from.
Kiki Monique 38:08
I would be like supply chain issues. I don’t know something, I sent it.
Hoja Lopez 38:16
So your advice is to go hard, and send that shit back. And, you know, maybe lie a little bit about when I sent to..
Kiki Monique 38:24
Again, I have no kind of feelings for corporations. If it’s a small business, you know, I might say like, you know, get the credit, you know, be to send more money back on small business. If it’s a corporation. No, I want the money back. And you know what, I’m not gonna send it back. I’m gonna keep it actually. […] Money back because I don’t really want it.
Derry Queen 38:45
But I’ll have it. If I can have it. I’m learning so much for me, Kiki, thank you for being my mentor in these little scams that you run. This is not the only one. I know that you’re a little scammer. AndI love you for it. Okay, cool. I will start that note, this place that I bought things was from was just bought by Walmart last year.
Kiki Monique 39:08
Yeah, they owe all the money, they owe us. They owe the earth
Derry Queen 39:17
Okay. All right. I will. I’ll start that today. I’m gonna just send it back and see what they say.
Kiki Monique 39:24
Well, you know, it’s ironic because I too, was going to apologize to Hoja. Mostly just because you are a representative of the LGBTQIA commmunity. I figured it would be best to to direct my apology to you but No, we weren’t. You know, we were doing this like, sort of pride centered episode and, you know, going through the topics that had me thinking because sometimes you think you’re just such a good person. And then you forget that sometimes like you have flaws, you know, and I have to remember that I fucked up too. And God, I hope I don’t get, don’t cancel me. So I remember I was like at an event. And it was actually it was a, it was an event for Human Rights Campaign. It was like an HRC event. So it was like, I was surrounded by gay people. And there was a girl who seemed like, she was like, kind of hitting on me. I don’t like you know, I couldn’t I was really drunk, right? So I was very drunk, cuz this was the after party, like after the main event. And so I think she was hitting on me, I don’t really know. And then she said something like, you know, like, oh, are you gay or something? And I said, I cringe even having to say that I said something like, either like, oh, do I look, or do I see my camera? If I said, look, or seem do I seem gay? Or do I look gay? And I was like, and thinking back on it. I was like, why the fuck did I say that? That’s so fucking terrible. But like, you know, I have to, look every straight girl, you have to admit, like, there was a time when you’re like putting on a flannel. And you say to yourself, like, oh, do I look like a lesbian? Like, every straight girl does it because like, we just go through these things where we want to be out in the world. And, you know, we want to get hit on and we go through that. And I hate that. I hate that I like cringe, but like so I’m sorry. I recognize that I still fuck up. And sometimes we fuck up and say stupid things in that person. She definitely does stop hitting on me after that. And I would, I would have to.
Hoja Lopez 41:31
Oh, my God. Well, Kiki, I’m gonna tell you, to me, you look a little gay. Anybody with thick rimmed, glasses and a red lip is a top fem for me, okay? We’ve got a lot of gays, a lot of lesbians and they fit in a lot of categories. And so you do, you look at me the both of you look very gay to me.
Kiki Monique 41:51
That’s fine. I’m comfortable. I am comfortable now. I’m comfortable with it.
Mohanad Elshieky 41:57
I have to apologize that you guys have to deal with me being a host who was perfect.
Hoja Lopez 42:04
And that is something we were really struggling with.
Mohanad Elshieky 42:06
My flaws. And every week you guys just keep apologizing. And I’m just like, oh, I wish I had something to apologize for. I just keep doing everything. Right. And I know now that is makes you feel bad. And then maybe my only flaw.
Derry Queen 42:23
As you shine so bright that it dims other people’s light.
Kiki Monique 42:27
It’s ironic that this is the first apology we’ve gotten in I’M SORRY.
Mohanad Elshieky 42:32
It’s like […]. But I’ll have to deal with it. But I’m not going to ask for an apology again. And it’s also like Cleveland related, is Cleveland related, because was in Cleveland, Cleveland, again, […] Club, not too much in the city. But we had someone pick us up from the airport to drive us to the hotel. And, you know, when someone starts talking, like, kind of like testing the waters to see where you’re at on the conspiracy theory line, just like softballs at you, and you’re like..
Hoja Lopez 43:08
What are some softballs? Like, is Earth as flat as hardcore? Or is that?
Mohanad Elshieky 43:13
I feel like, Oh, my God, I feel like conspiracy theories has gotten so bad that if someone says the earth is flat, I was like that’s cute.
Derry Queen 43:23
That yeah, that’s why I was like, I wasn’t sure if that was a soft or a hard ball.
Mohanad Elshieky 43:27
No, no, that was like, no, it was just like one of those things. Like, I wish people would just go back to believing that the earth is flat. And that worst major conspiracy theory. But like someone would like would be like, you know, like, when you throw a softball , but it’s usually has to do with COVID. And they’d be like, oh, no, it’s okay. I mean, like, a lot of people don’t wear masks anymore here. It’s gotten so much better. Like, you don’t have to wear a mask. That’s fine. And I mean, like, I mean, we, you know, people got vaccinated and boosted and all of that. And then, you know, they see like, if you’re gonna take your mask off or not, and so you can take their metaphorical mask off as well. And yeah, like, literally are just like, no, it’s fine. I mean, I am comfortable like this. And then, you know, like someone that goes so hard that you like, holy shit. Well, I did not see that coming. And it’s usually like someone will like, like, when a White person started their sentence word. So I had this Japanese friend and I’m just like, oh, no, I know this. I just feel like this is not gonna go to where I want it to go.
Hoja Lopez 44:37
Wait, why a Japanese friend about what?
Mohanad Elshieky 44:40
So basically, what they were saying is that they had a Japanese friend and the Japanese right before the pandemic hit right before the pandemic hit, okay? This person came to them and was just like, it’s gonna get really bad here. And then they left and they never saw them again. And then COVID like, the pandemic was announced, like maybe two weeks later. And the general sentiment that you get from this is that an Asian person told me this thing. That’s Asia. So they know. And even though the pandemic did not start in Japan, it started in a different country. She was like, this is a representation. And then she was like, and this light, and she was like, I work with this person for years. And they never give me a hug. But this time, they hugged me. So I knew it was something serious. And I was just like, and then she just went on about, like, you know, how COVID was, you know, created in the lab. And how, like, how it got to us and how, and then we started talking. And then they started talking about like, the name of the team that like the baseball team that changed it, because it was the Cleveland Indians before it became Cleveland Guardians, right? It just like, actually, like Native Americans are offended by that. They feel like their culture has been erased. And just like, Oh, you think, okay, well, I’m sure that is not true. I don’t think you have Native-American friends. I am pretty sure you have a White friend who told you they have a Native American friend.
Kiki Monique 46:14
Or White friend who took a 23 and me and have like .01%.
Mohanad Elshieky 46:20
Exactly. And it didn’t even say a tribal native as probably the 1% said other and that’s native. Was my tribe. Yeah. And then my God, by the time we got to the hotel, I was just like, I am so done here. I just cannot like, because my thing is like, I’m not gonna argue with you. I’m not gonna try to steer you to the, because like, also, like, I feel like now I am the representation of whatever you think my people are. I feel like if I argue with her, she would be they’d be like, you know? Yeah, and just like Libyan people are just so difficult. Those Arabs are so difficult. And they do not respect it when you have a different opinion. And they’re just so hostile. Maybe that’s why there’s so much conflict there. They just can’t, they don’t know how to debate and argue. Yeah, not just like, I am not gonna contribute to that. I’m just gonna stay in the back and just every time, like, they say something, I’m gonna be like, oh, yeah, wild,
Hoja Lopez 47:32
I love it when it’s like you’re an anti Vaxxer. And then you’re in, you’re probably like in a Lyft with someone and your Lyft driver starts talking to you about it. And then you’re, I don’t know, you have some other conspiracy theory or you’re an anti-Semite, or whatever it is. And then they find each other and then their conspiracy theories start mixing into each other. And they start like, overlapping. It’s like, it just gets to be way too much. So I’m glad that you just zipped it up there Mo and that you were able to stay cool and level headed with this person.
Mohanad Elshieky 48:06
Next time, if I find someone like this, I’m just gonna like fucking triple down and just like start like inventing new shit.
Hoja Lopez 48:15
Okay, making some shit up.
Mohanad Elshieky 48:17
Yeah, I’m just gonna be like, you know, sometimes, like how the moon disappears? Muslims took it. I promise you, they took it. I’m on the male mailing list. And every time it disappears, I get an email that like, don’t go out today. The moon is not there. Because you know, when you go out and the moon is not there, it kinda, it affects your lungs, and you can’t breathe anymore. And that’s why you know, a lot of people died from COVID, they did not die from COVID They died because they left their houses When the Moon disappears. I promise you the Muslims took it.
Kiki Monique 48:55
I just think this is amazing planning. You should do it regardless, I think just start doing this.
Mohanad Elshieky 49:00
Yeah. I mean, look, if my thing is gonna be inventing conspiracy theories. I’ll just enjoy it.
Kiki Monique 49:09
Yeah, let’s see how long it takes to hit Twitter. That’ll be our game.
Mohanad Elshieky 49:14
Yeah, I’m gonna invent something and see how far it goes. We’ll see. We’ll see. I’ll try to find a way to spread it and doesn’t make it sound like it came from me.
Hoja Lopez 49:27
Just start on WhatsApp and send it to one of my family members and it’ll spread like wildfire.
Mohanad Elshieky 49:31
Kiki Monique 49:32
I’M SORRY is a Lemonada Media Original. The show is produced by Alex McOwen, supervising producer is Kryssy Pease. Our executive producers are Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Our mix is by Kat Yore and theme music was composed by Xander Singh. If you like this show, please rate and review. And please don’t cancel us. You can find out more about our show at @LemonadaMedia on all social platforms, or follow us on Instagram at @imsorry_podcast. We’ll be back next week and until then be nice, play fair and always say I’m sorry. Thanks for listening!