Eve’s That Girl
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Trailblazer and hip-hop sensation Eve Cooper is on the mic today to talk about her new memoir “Who’s That Girl?” Ambitious and fearlessly determined, Eve recounts her rise to stardom and struggles in a male dominated industry – something the Aunties know well. She talks about trusting her instincts, working with people who have wronged you, and connects with Ku about her fertility journey. Then, they dive into her cart, and Eve shares why she loves a sea salt body scrub (but not in her ice cream.)
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Transcript
SPEAKERS
SuChin Pak, Kulap Vilaysack, Eve
Kulap Vilaysack 00:10
Welcome back to Add To Cart, I’m your auntie Kulap Vilaysack.
SuChin Pak 00:13
And I’m your other auntie SuChin Pak, Ku let me put on my sunglasses today, because our guest her star power is blinding. We’re so excited.
Kulap Vilaysack 00:25
Yeah, my eyes are basically dilated right now. Su, our guest today is a trailblazer. She is a multi platinum Grammy Award winning Emmy nominated, rapper, singer songwriter, actor and entrepreneur in 1999 she made history with her debut album, Let There Be Eve Roughriders First Lady. That album skyrocketed to number one on the Billboard, 200 and she became the third female rapper ever to achieve this.
SuChin Pak 00:54
Her book, who’s that girl?
Kulap Vilaysack 00:56
A memoir is releasing this month. Please add to cart, Eve.
Eve 01:01
Hi, ladies.
SuChin Pak 01:06
Hello, I mean all the way, all the way. I mean international interviews. This could be a first for us here on Add to Cart.
Kulap Vilaysack 01:13
You’re in London, I assume?
Eve 01:15
I’m in London, yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 01:17
You’re a London lady.
SuChin Pak 01:18
So when I finished the book, the first thing I called Ku, and I was like, This book made me want to quit the industry again. There were so many parts in this where it was so stressful, like I could so relate, you know. And this may, we may cut this out, because it’s such a, like, a micro, maybe convo about, like, television and hosting and talk shows and like, what you have to give to, like, stay in I didn’t know until I was in it once, and when I got out of it, I was like, I feel like I just dodged a bullet.
Kulap Vilaysack 01:59
Well, that’s weird, because it’s like for you to say, dodge a bullet. It’s like you’ve been you, suchinpak, MTV, MTV, suchinpak. You were like riding the bullet, like you both ride the bulle, so it’s like dodging it.
SuChin Pak 02:11
Yeah, true which is why, when I was reading it, it was like taking me back to those anxiety moments, because, you know, you’re in your 20s, you don’t even know what hair color you want, and then you have to make these, like, huge decisions about your life in front of a huge platform. So anyway, that was kind of like the big setup like that. For me, I like, related to it so deeply. Can you talk?
Eve 02:46
Sorry for the anxiety, but, um, yeah, it was, listen, it was intense. It quickly went from kind of like, you know, you get signed and you’re doing all these amazing things, and you’re like, this is amazing. And then you’re like oh my god, I this is crazy. It’s warp speed. It’s faster than fast, you know? But you’re also still have trying to have a good time. Um, it. But again, like you said, you’re making all these decisions that you’ve never had to make before. You have all these emotions that you’ve never had before, and still trying to keep up with your friends, to be like, I haven’t changed. What are you talking about? Like you’re trying to bring people along on your ride, which also becomes tiring and stressful. And I am grateful. I am thankful, but it was definitely a lot, which is why I drank as much, and I talked about the book, which is why I, I drank and tried to numb things out. And, you know, to one sometimes not to think about it, pretty much, sometimes not to feel it, you know, not to feel the stress, the strain. Yeah, it was a lot.
SuChin Pak 03:57
The other thing that’s related to this, that I also related to is, is that, like, we’ve talked about this, where someone will ask me, oh, well, you know what was, what was your favorite interview at MTV? I’m like, it is a black hole. I have no memory of about 10 years of my life, because you’re in fight or flight a lot of the time. But also it’s almost like you have to get off the ride to like, enjoy what the ride was like. Do you feel like that where you’re like, whoa. I mean, I wish I had more fun than but there was no possible way I was doing that and showing up to work.
Eve 04:34
No, way you had to keep going. And in the time, the small times that you did have some time to yourself, or went away. I slept because I was so tired. I would go on vacations and not even see the outside. I’d have breakfast, lunch and dinner in the room. I might walk to the beach and put a toe in, and then I’m going back to sleep, and then it’s time to go, because now I have another tour, or I have. Another, this, that and other, you really don’t have any time to reflect, yeah, and because you are just trying to keep up, you’re just trying to keep up and and you know what the industry does? Not just the industry. Your management can be that way. Your agents, they make you feel like if you say no to this opportunity. It’s all gonna go from this one, no, you’ve been doing, you’ve been working your ass off for years, but this one, no, that’s right now it’ll be over. That anxiety of like, fuck, I’ve worked my ass off to get here. It can’t be over. It can’t be it’s like guilt. It’s this guilt. It’s it’s crazy.
SuChin Pak 05:45
And that ghost of like saying no, because you don’t know if it’ll come again. So that ghost is related to fear, it’s related to scarcity mindset. It’s related to so trauma. It’s related to so many things. It is such an intense trigger. And whether people push that intentionally or not, it is such an incredible motivator to do things, but it just burns you out. On the other end of it, you can’t, I still have that ghost, and I’m like, what am I rushing around for snack time? Like, what’s the what’s the hurry? But you can’t, like, once you kind of like that, like, thing gets metabolized, yeah, in your brain, it is so hard to to pull that apart from, like, who you are.
Eve 06:35
I mean, I wish it was just the brain. It feels like it’s not, I mean, I the whole body, nervous system. It’s, yeah, like.
SuChin Pak 06:42
It’s a physical we ask.
Eve 06:43
My cortisol. Yeah, does anyone know where my cortisol? I can’t find it. I lost it in 2009.
SuChin Pak 06:53
When you talk about your first, like, panic attack.
Eve 06:55
Yeah, that was really real. I remember my first pant I begged that also too, because you’re like, What is this what is what was happening to my body, my brain? Who is this person?
Kulap Vilaysack 07:05
Who is this person?
SuChin Pak 07:06
Can you talk? Yeah, can you because I think so many of our listeners who are kind of in that crunch of, like, their 20s and 30s, trying to figure it all out, don’t realize, like, this is, this is your body’s normal way of trying to get grounded and realize, you know, process.
Eve 07:27
Slow you down. It literally, either you do it or your body will do it for you. Your body and your brain will do it for you. Um, yeah, that first time, that first anxiety attack, was, like, the fear is not even the word terror. It was I was terrified. I was terrified because I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t even see, like, I remember, like, it was so weird. It was like this hazy feeling of like, what is happening to me. But then, you know, back then nobody had those words, nobody talked about anxiety and things like that. So there was not even a person that I could say, hey, this happened to me, and someone could say, like, well, that’s what it is, um, you know, people were just like, calm down. You need to chill out. Maybe you need to relax. Like, just relax like, um, it was horrible. And it was horrible. I mean, it took me years to realize that for me going back again to like numbing myself, me drinking or whatever made it, made the anxiety 20 times worse, because I would go do it to calm myself down, but then, because I’d probably have a hangover the next day, I’m back into this anxious state of being. And then it just kept going. Kept going, kept going, um, yeah, it’s, I mean, I still have it. I still struggle with anxiety, like I’m human, like I still do, but thankfully, I now know, you know, I know the things that help me. I know when I need to say no. I know when I can say to I’m really grateful I have such an amazing team that I can be like, Listen, this is one too many. My kid gives me, you know, a greater excuse of like I need to be with my kid. Like, this is taking too many days away from him, um, so whenever I need to kind of slow down, thank God, I can do that. But also, you know, I do meditate now, not often, but, um, you know, I go to that now I have tools. Put it that way, I have tools now.
SuChin Pak 09:23
I think this, like, anxiety culture is, like, so pervasive, you know. And I love that you talk about it so openly and honestly and in a way that, like, because when you’re in that, like you said, whether you have the language or not, it can, you can feel so alone, and you feel like, what’s wrong with me? Can you talk about that, and then we can get into some of, like, all the great stuff in between. But I really there.
Eve 09:49
A lot of me figuring out things kind of came as we were writing it. Shout out to Kathy my, uh, my co writer, Kathy Ayanuli, she’s amazing. But a lot of it came. From we’d start talking about something, and I’d be like, and then and then, and literally realizing it as we’re just talking, and that mother on the mic for me was like, when we got to that, it was like, wow, look at, look at, look at the landscape. Look at where we are now. Look how amazing it is to look out and see that I am, you know, and I say this about like, cardi and like, it’s so nice to see these women being like, No, I can. I can do both. Like, I’m sad, and it was so sad that we were so discouraged from having babies, or I don’t know, walking down the path. That’s so natural for as a woman you want to do, um, when I did the audiobook, is when it all came together for me. And I actually called Kathy and was like, yo, this isn’t the book like.
Kulap Vilaysack 10:54
I’m interested. What happened to this young woman […] ?
SuChin Pak 11:01
She okay? Put your own pull quote on the cover, please.
Eve 11:05
God, I was like, put that on the cover. No, she even cracked up as well. No, like, this book is actually, it’s pretty good, but I because you know what going even going back to what you said like, I don’t think I’ve ever taken time to reflect. I never, even in my downtime of life now, even in my late 30s, even when I said to myself, I’m taking four months off of ever I’ve never sat and just been like and this happened and this happened and and, but I accomplished this, and I kept going over here, and I was so proud of myself, and I never used those words to myself before ever. And that’s when I was that’s when I called her, like, girl, like, thank you like, this is good, yeah, it’s, God, it is such a journey.
Kulap Vilaysack 12:01
I can’t imagine, because, like, let’s call it out. And you’re very clear. You’re a double Scorpio, yeah, mysterious. You, you know, we’re dive in deep. We’re a warrior wrestling in the mud to find the light. Like, that’s this? Is this? Ain’t nothing like, you know? And I know you didn’t, I know you didn’t put it all there, you know what? I mean, you put a lot of yourself in there.
Eve 12:23
Yeah, I definitely didn’t put it all. I didn’t put it all because I because, as a Scorpio, we love to keep our we need to keep our, like, keep some things to our chest, but I definitely want it to be vulnerable and honest about the things that were in there. I wanted to be because I didn’t want this book to just be about the industry. I wanted it to be about a woman who was trying to figure shit out, who started in an industry very young, a male dominated industry, who went through lots of ups and downs and bumps and mountains, trying to figure herself out, trying to find herself and be true to herself, and overall, just deal with sadness, deal with anxiety, and that is the story that so many of us have, that’s just that doesn’t matter what you do, what business you’re in, that’s just life and being a human and being a woman.
SuChin Pak 13:27
People say this a lot about, I think, memoirs, and especially celebrity memoirs, about like, well, you’ve been through it, you know, you fought, you fought for your seat, you know. And it can be true. But this was a version where I was like, again, she’s here again. Who is in this, what are you talking about? She’s got this hit and that hit and this track record, and here she is having to prove herself again.
Kulap Vilaysack 13:54
Well, and just not being listened to.
SuChin Pak 13:56
Yes, yes, by men. Let’s be specific, yeah.
Eve 14:00
Time and time again, and I’ve been in those rooms, and so I was like, triggered […]
Kulap Vilaysack 14:07
Trigger warning.
SuChin Pak 14:11
It’s a trigger warning for any woman with ambition, and that’s, you know what I mean. Like, there should not be a trigger warning to be a woman that has ambition in edges.
Kulap Vilaysack 14:22
An example is that it was an uphill battle for her to convince the label to put Gwen Stefani on. Let me blow your mind. Page 192, I’m gonna quote back to you, Eve, I’m gonna quote your words back at you. You say, if my artistic intuition hadn’t failed me, then why would it fail me now? Well, naturally, because there wasn’t a man standing in the room with me to co sign it.
14:44
It sucks, because I and we, when we reread the book, and like, chapters of the book, Kathy and I did talk about, like, God, are people gonna be like, god? Is she melbash and she now I’m like, No, I’m not. These were just things that actually, for real, happened and happened it sadly. It just happens. And it’s funny, because obviously, now that I’ve written stuff, I have these other kind of stories that have just popped up in my brain that I’m like, oh, that happened as well. Like, there was this time where I this is not in the book, but it made me think I had done a video for the song called she babat from the album, and I’d had a director who did it, and was asking me for all this money, and this was funded from my pockets, from doing shows in the club, like whatever. And I remember getting the footage back and crying. He had thrown it together, and it was so shit. And I was like, are you fucking serious? And what happened was my management, at the time, actually took the raw footage and made it. They had someone else re edit it, and it was beautiful. And he also called me, probably a year later and apologized to me and said, you know, I don’t really have many regrets, but I do regret that video, because I could have done better, and I’m sorry that I treated you like that.
SuChin Pak 15:56
Could I get a refund?
Kulap Vilaysack 15:58
You know, I mean, could you […]
SuChin Pak 16:00
Venmo me back?
16:07
No, seriously, and but then, you know, while it’s so frustrating, it helps my fucking sanity when things like that happen, because I’m like, okay, I wasn’t crazy. If these people feel like they have to go back and be like, my bad. I’m not crazy, you know, it sucks. It takes a year or two or whatever or a lifetime.
SuChin Pak 16:29
Yeah, most of the time. I mean, think of all the other times that you thought you were crazy, but you know you weren’t. And nobody came and was like, Oh, hey, sorry about that. Like, that doesn’t almost ever happen there? Yeah, they’re like, my heart is beating in my mouth. Of just like, you know, do you ever get that experience where, like, someone calls someone who you had a lot of problems with, and it’s been years, and so they think, oh, it’s fine, like that, right? Like, if you put it enough years in between, set, we can reset. And they ask you something, and you, you’re it’s like, it takes everything in me to just be like, silly, you know, I’m not even gonna respond, which is the most graceful response I can give you right now.
Kulap Vilaysack 17:16
Su, I was gonna say that for for Eve, that’s Dr Dre.
17:19
Yeah, it’s my shadow boxing partner, like, but.
Kulap Vilaysack 17:25
But that was also a lesson too, because it’s like, sometimes you gotta work with people you have problems with, and you work through it, and you get and then you you also get greatness too. Like, that’s, it’s like […]
SuChin Pak 17:37
Oh, that hurts.
17:38
It’s like, that person can bring out a bit of greatness. Yeah, they can bring out that anger.
Kulap Vilaysack 17:44
Yeah, it’s tough, because when I someone wrongs me, I get in my righteous like mode, and I want them to be eliminated. I don’t know how to say it any other way, not eviscerated.
Eve 17:58
And eliminated.
SuChin Pak 17:59
Eliminated just like, complete, just non existence. Okay, go ahead.
Kulap Vilaysack 18:05
But like, that’s the other thing is, as we grow older and we need to get things done, and then, you know, I mean, you’ll read it in the book, very early on in Eve’s career, she was signed aftermath Dre drops her without even, like, saying it to her face, and then, and yet, throughout the years, you’ve, you’ve worked with them, you, you know,
Eve 18:25
Yeah, I want a Grammy with them.
Kulap Vilaysack 18:27
Yeah, there you go, you know.
18:29
I mean, but that’s that is life. I’m talking about lessons, the lessons that you just, I feel like, how many lessons?
SuChin Pak 18:37
Yeah, what about there for you that you you really like today, you’re like, okay, that was what I needed to learn from that.
18:45
Right, after the audiobook, again, I was probably a week, two weeks later, I was in some random place, and someone was there, and I was like, what do you mean? What do you mean? He’s here, that’s random. But then we saw each other, and it was all fine. It was all good. And what I realized is that sometimes, as humans, as we do, we can hold on versions of people. And when I saw him, it was like, oh, I’m good. I’m over that. Okay, so I was holding on to some shit that I didn’t even need to hold on to, or that I maybe, I don’t know if writing, maybe the writing process, helped me get through it, or maybe it just was that many years that we could reset. As you said, I am going back to being proud of myself. I think the determination, wherever that came from, I don’t know how I just didn’t give up. I don’t know, but I do think that it wasn’t because, I mean, and this is how I think about stuff now, just on a spiritual level, like you just aren’t down here by yourself. You do have some people who have your back. You do have warriors that are behind you and like helping you. But then there’s that fuck you-ness as well, when you’re young and you. Just like, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck this. I’m a fucking show you, you know. So there’s a bit of that that you also need.
Kulap Vilaysack 20:08
That was a theme throughout, like, right away at top page 14, reference to Jay Z. He says I needed someone that I had to consistently prove wrong.
20:17
Hey, if it works, and even going back to like you guys said, of like, how are we here again? Some of that probably was me, in the sense that I do almost take I like the underdog thing. I like when people underestimate me. Um, it is the fuel for me in some ways. So possibly I allowed myself to stay in that place a little longer. But hey, it worked.
SuChin Pak 20:45
Deep, as deep about, like, how we keep ourselves.
20:51
Yeah and I, because I think that was my thing of like, Oh, I’m the underdog. Is that how you’re looking at me? Because I think I started feeling like this. This is a theme like, okay, you want to underestimate, you want to understand. But am I and now, am I taking pride in this underdogness? I don’t know. Yeah, that’s a lot. I’ve learned a lot. This book has been great for me man, it’s been, it’s been a really cathartic process, for sure.
Kulap Vilaysack 21:21
Again, going back to the Scorpio. Is there any nervousness? Is there any sort of, okay […]
21:27
Yes, got it. I’m naked […]
SuChin Pak 21:36
I know friends of very first, oh boy. She is out here.
Kulap Vilaysack 21:42
Yeah.
21:43
Okay, so raw in a way that I’ve never felt ever I am exposed. It’s exposed, um, because usually, you know, yes, I’ve been in this business a long time, but there’s a song. Maybe I can talk about the song, or maybe I can talk about the ensemble or the show that I’m or like, this is like, me.
SuChin Pak 22:06
And, you know, it’s funny, because, like, when you read your memoir, you’re like, so that was a journey in learning about yourself and healing, maybe even parts of, yeah, of things that you really did. But then this whole thing is gonna be, it’s owned. You’re just starting out and talking about it and then having people reflect on it back to you, like, that’s gonna be a whole thing.
22:29
Well, I definitely forgot that I had to talk about the book. Once we finished the book, I was like, oh shit. Now we now. I gotta talk about all the stuff we already did. We already put it in there.
SuChin Pak 22:40
We please, thank God, thank God, someone is saying it. That’s like me every morning. I’m like, wait, what?
Kulap Vilaysack 22:47
Right? I should open your eyes.
SuChin Pak 22:49
Yeah. I’m like, Wait, huh? Like, I again?
Eve 22:52
Oh, my God. It’s scary. It’s scary because I what I hope overall that is that, you know, we were trying to be careful about. I never I didn’t want anything salacious. And even with people that I named, I wanted it to all come back around to lessons that I did learn and things that but you know how it is. You know how people are. And so.
SuChin Pak 23:11
Yeah, you know, I’m gonna say this right from, maybe should have said this from the beginning of this interview is that there are names in this book, and there, people are going to take tiny little snippets and make a completely different story than the one that you’re telling. And so I would urge anyone who maybe have you know you heard a snippet, to actually read the full story, because the story is about all the people that you write about, they’re so human and so understand. They come from such a place of compassion and empathy for yourself and for the version of you in that moment and for that person, it isn’t about, you know, gossip and salaciousness at all. It’s about growth. And so I really hope people don’t run away with just like a handle, a name, you know, a celebrity, and then make up a whole other thing about it, because it’s not about what you think it’s about.
Eve 24:14
No, thank you for that. I agree. I totally agree. I do hope people give it a chance, yeah. I do too, yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 24:23
But at the same time, if it sells books and we get them in that way, it’s called Add to Cart. The podcast is called Add to Cart, what are we doing right now?
Eve 24:36
That’s real. This is real. And yes, this is true. Yes, this is true.
SuChin Pak 24:41
Because I love you today. I want you and Eve to talk about this motherhood journey. I mean, when I was reading that part, my sweet baby coup was in my heart just thinking about the both of you and just so many similarities in that journey.
Kulap Vilaysack 24:57
Yeah, I felt so my daughter, emerald is going to turn beautiful two thank you. And in October, top of October, and your son’s already two, right? And a half?
Eve 25:10
Yeah, he’ll be three in February, yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 25:12
Wow, yeah. And I went through an IVF journey. We ended up getting her by surrogate. I had so many miscarriages, all of that stuff. And so I that moment in time, that stress, you know, you being pregnant on set and and, and that fear of covid was so real, and so, you know, and just when you have loss, you know, I was holding my breath, yeah, the entire time, the entire time.
Eve 25:39
Yeah, it was that anxiety was a whole other level. That was anxiety like master level.
SuChin Pak 25:46
Your other anxieties were preparing you for the actual, real anxiety to come. That’s right, that was practice.
25:53
Yeah, I was so worried all the time about the hours, the crying, the stress, the covid, I need to go hear the heartbeat. Like I was like, I just need to I was calling the doctor constantly. I was like, Am I too hot? Am I like, literally, it was so crazy, even my husband at one point, until he came to see me on set. Like, I would call him and I’d be like, snot, crying and and be like, like that. And he’d be like, you have to come to like, I know you’re upset, but like, and a lot of that was a mode. I never been pregnant on a set, TV set before, ever, like, so a lot of it was that. But it was just oh, my God. I was like, God, what if it’s me? What working again? And what if I messed this up? Like, I was, like, just in my head, so much.
Kulap Vilaysack 26:43
Aagain, this was we guys. We were just getting vaccinations. Like, this is yes.
26:48
But it was more the, you know, being an older mom. Have already lost the baby, trying to do IVF. I’ve done IVF a few times now, this hasn’t worked out. And what this is, you know, it was just so I lived all in my head, Yeah, completely until I got home.
Kulap Vilaysack 27:04
Your head, but your body, your body wrecked. Yeah, I feel like I’m just, sort of, after doing so many rounds of IVF, like, I just, I’m like, okay, we’re sort of hormonally normalizing, like, that’s how I feel but like.
Eve 27:19
No, it’s the truth, I think we don’t know, really, how long, you know, they might say, Oh, we don’t know how long all this stuff lasts. We don’t, we don’t really know. I agree with you in that, like you just, there’s at some point you settle somewhere, then you start getting more settled and more settled and more subtle. And then I’m like, you know I’m I’m an older mom. I got other hormones.
Kulap Vilaysack 27:45
Same thing, but Eve being older moms, I this is how I feel, like I’ve lived and I’ve read your book, so I know you’ve lived a life. I don’t have fear of missing out. Like I’m like, I’ve done it.
27:59
Done it. I’m so good. I saw something that was like, Jomo the other day of joy, of missing out. And I was like, yeah, that’s pretty much, that’s pretty much me on a daily of like, I don’t, I mean, we’ve seen it. Oh, plus, we saw it in the good time when nobody had phones out. So, like, you know what I mean?
Kulap Vilaysack 28:17
So true.
SuChin Pak 28:18
Oh, we know.
Kulap Vilaysack 28:19
We know.
Eve 28:20
We know, so I’m good.
Kulap Vilaysack 28:32
We’re going to make a hard right and get into.
SuChin Pak 28:37
What this podcast is about.
Kulap Vilaysack 28:39
Yes.
Kulap Vilaysack 28:39
I want to know, Eve, how do you shop? What is your style? How do you how do you go about it?
28:46
I love a shop. I am okay, and I always have. It is the thing that makes me happy. I am a I’m a stress shopper, happy shopper, hungry shopper. I can shop anytime. I’m also a browser. I like to I love an online like, put it in the basket. I’m a late night I Tiktok shop. Now that’s bad. I have bought things off the damn tick tock shop. Some of them have been really good. I’m not gonna lie.
Kulap Vilaysack 29:15
Name them, please name me at least two.
SuChin Pak 29:18
Who’s a very famous Tiktok shopper herself.
29:23
No, okay, so my first ever purchase was for the baby, actually, and it was like a round mat that you put on the floor for tummy time. And it has tons of colorful animals. We still use it to this day. That was almost two years ago. So that was a good purchase. I would say some of the shit purchases are the electronic shit. Don’t buy anything electronic.
Kulap Vilaysack 29:47
Like face stuff, like electronic face stuff?
29:50
No, like electronic, like, there was, like, some little, it was actually another kid thing. You put a card inside and it says what it is that shit don’t work. It says the wrong shit all. The time I do, like, there’s some cute leggings, though, I love a good pair of leggings. I love a legging. So, yeah, it’s not often, but it happens.
SuChin Pak 30:12
Are you an online shopper more or do you like being in a physical store?
30:18
No, I prefer online, because I like everything to be in one place, and also I feel like it’s maybe when I was young, my mom used to drag me around when I was a kid. So like in Philly, there was this place called the straw bridges and the gallery, okay, I’m like, I think I’m scarred from that.
Kulap Vilaysack 30:37
From straw bridges?
Eve 30:38
Yes.
SuChin Pak 30:40
Everyone from Philly’s like, oh yeah.
Eve 30:44
Everybody know yeah. Everybody will know straw bridges.
Kulap Vilaysack 30:47
Okay, let’s get into your cart. I want to know about this Yvonne Leanne heart bracelet.
30:53
Yes, it’s a literal heart. It’s a heart. And I love hearts. But this just, I don’t know it was like a gift of love to myself.
SuChin Pak 31:05
So it’s a bracelet, like you would the bangle imagine, but instead of an oval shape or a round shape, it’s a shape of a heart, and it looks like it’s a it’s a French brand, a Parisian.
Eve 31:18
Yes, a Parisian, yeah.
SuChin Pak 31:21
And it’s just simple and gorgeous.
Eve 31:23
Yeah. it’s just easy. I love gold. I love rose gold, like it’s just easy. And I love bangles and things, and I like to hear the clinky, clinky clinky thing. So love this, yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 31:34
Okay, I’ll get one too. Yes, that’s how easy it is. Okay, add to cart, okay, special order, four to eight weeks. Elegante?
Eve 31:46
Yes.
Kulap Vilaysack 31:47
Speaking of elegante, Joe Malone, wood sage and sea salt, shower gel. What is this? Can
31:55
[…] Joe Malone, this is new in my life, right? So I had a photo shoot two, three weeks ago, and it was like, they, the people that did the photo shoot, was like, Oh, here’s a little bag of Goody things. It is now my new favorite. Like, I mean, I love a shower, scrub anyway, it’s the smell. The scent is so yum, like it just wakes you up, but it’s just, it’s fresh, but it’s as it says, Woody, but not in a way that you’re like, it’s something about it is just perfection. It’s my new favorite thing. I now use it every single morning, like, oh, and […]
SuChin Pak 32:33
Sea salt, like it actually has grains. Like […]
32:38
Yes, so you can put it on and like, I even use, I’m such a I love scrub gloves, so I go extra scrubby, hard, um, oh, but I love it. It’s so nice. And it just lingers on you a bit, not too much. It’s not overpowering.
Kulap Vilaysack 32:53
And you’re speaking with the scrub gloves. You’re speaking Su’s Korean language here.
SuChin Pak 32:58
Oh, that’s what just said. I was like, Eve, have you been, have you been scrubbed down by a middle aged Korean woman on a bed with saggy boobs and a net leotard?
33:07
I have actually, by the way, when I lived in LA.
Kulap Vilaysack 33:10
Olympic spa, Eve. There we go, of course, aka Surrey scrub everybody.
SuChin Pak 33:17
Let’s just say that, like, truly you’ve never been clean. I mean, you’re in a disgusting dirt bag. If you’ve never had one of these women scrub I mean, parts never feel very soft and not scrubbable, yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 33:32
Like a slab of meat.
Eve 33:35
I thought that woman was mad at me the first time I went, I was like, wow, this is aggressive, like, that’s just, yeah, no, yeah. I was like, once I’ve done it, and then when I said that to someone, they’re like, no, that’s just, this is what it is. And I was like, okay. And then now I went back all the time. I love it, I miss it to be honest, I actually miss that. I miss a good scrub.
SuChin Pak 33:57
Yeah, you don’t get a lot of that Korean scrub down in London, ice I suppose?
Eve 34:01
No, it’s not the same.
Kulap Vilaysack 34:06
You are removing from card.
Eve 34:09
Yes.
Kulap Vilaysack 34:10
Salted caramel, ice cream. I have to assume you had too much. What happened?
Eve 34:15
It felt controversial. Putting this in here.
SuChin Pak 34:19
This may be the most controversial thing you’ve said, yeah, in the hours.
34:23
I know I was, I wasn’t sure, but can I tell you, it’s one of those things I have tried, like gin. It’s just the thing that I feel like I’m supposed to like, and I just […]
SuChin Pak 34:35
Because it’s everywhere.
34:38
And I just it does me and salty, I just can’t I’ve come to the conclusion now that I can stop, now I can stop, and I’m fine with it. So I’m sorry to anyone who is has gasped at that, because I know it’s controversial.
SuChin Pak 34:53
Is it that you want your sweet to be sweet and your salt to be salty? Or is something about the texture?
34:58
No, you know, it’s funny, because. Is I love, like, chocolate covered pretzels, for instance. Like, I love that, but it’s something about salted caramel ice cream. I don’t it’s, I don’t know. It’s weird.
Eve 35:11
I don’t know.
SuChin Pak 35:11
It could be the dairy mixed in with it, too. Like, I’m with you on this. To me, it’s more of a and I love salted caramel by itself. I love ice cream by itself, but it’s something about when they come together. It could be the the milky, kind of goopy, salty that doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right.
Kulap Vilaysack 35:33
Yeah, I can relate. Trust SuChin, the really drill down a snack. I was like, it’s the [..]
SuChin Pak 35:43
Back of the tongue. It doesn’t feel right, okay?
Kulap Vilaysack 35:46
And the next thing that he was removing card. Now we’ve got some again, SuChin Pak and Eve ven diagram, same place you’re moving from cart small to finally.
Eve 35:59
Oh God, stresses me out. I get more stress when, when I think about going to events, it’s the it’s the small talk more than it is anything else. Yeah, and I’m always like, Oh God, I definitely am. I immediately need whatever free drink is happening so I can just get past because it just hurts.
Kulap Vilaysack 36:24
It just hurt, now, I not to again, generalize, but I’ll have a lot of best friends. I’m a Taurus. A lot of best friends who are Scorpios, and they hate it small talk. They hate it. They want, they want large talk, large large talk. They don’t want icebreakers. They want ice thickeners.
SuChin Pak 36:44
Yes, they want to go deep.
36:49
Scorpios go deep. You know who’s great at that? Though, you know who’s great at small talk? British people, okay, they can. That’s their society, right?
SuChin Pak 36:59
Hours about that’s just talk.
Kulap Vilaysack 37:03
No, but nothing and nothing at all.
37:05
You can stop talking, like, you’ll stop, and then it’ll happen again, and you’re like, oh, yeah, oh, we’re doing it again.
SuChin Pak 37:14
We’re still we’re still here.
37:17
But it is a gift, but it’s a gift. Like, I just don’t have that gift. I just, I wish I did. I don’t have I just don’t have it unless I have had a little bit of a drink. And then I’m like, okay, I can, like, walk around the room a bit, and then I can get into a little bit of a small talk. Like, my husband, he’s great at it. He’s so good. He can literally just be like, bing. It does not bother him at all, yeah.
SuChin Pak 37:44
Well, that’s why you guys are a good match. You know, like, for every non you know, for you have a not small talker, you’re generally partnered up with someone who’s like our husbands, who I’m like, I can’t walk the dog with you because you don’t walk you stopped and talked to every single I am not interested in a stop around the block. I’m interested in a walk around the block. And what I do is he’ll stop, and then I’ll just keep walking. And he’s like, do you know what that looks like? I’m like, I don’t care. Like, I cannot stop at all your stops. Like, I have to get back to what I was doing big. It can’t take that long.
Kulap Vilaysack 38:22
SuChin and tell her what you do. What’s your strategy? What do you have headphones in your bag? So many headphones.
SuChin Pak 38:29
So many headphones. I have headphones in my pocket. I have headphones like a It’s my Passy. I won’t leave even to take the garbage out, unless I know I’ve got headphones in my pocket, just in case that I see someone I’m like, and sometimes that headphone is going into pocket with nothing in it, but the end of, you know, headphone dongle, and I’m okay with that too. You would think that I would develop this skill, but I don’t know. For some reason, the older I get, the worse I’m at small talk.
38:58
No, same I wonder if it, I don’t know. Is it nervousness? Is it anxiety? I don’t know. Is it from anxiety?
Kulap Vilaysack 39:05
I like it, but I like to keep it moving, because I get a little bit of kinetic energy from other people, just like, like, a quick little connection. I like that, yeah? Quick connection. And then I keep it moving. We’re moving on. We had a moment. We had a meet cute, yeah? And then over gone from each other’s lives forever. That’s how I like it. But there’s a conflict.
39:26
Yeah, it is. I don’t have that. I don’t I get really, I get stressed.
Kulap Vilaysack 39:32
Well, because it’s the fear of getting stuck. I think that’s maybe that to me, the stuck.
Eve 39:39
For you?
Kulap Vilaysack 39:40
I think for anybody, yeah, yeah. Like, I’m just being stuck there somehow or, like, Nothing’s worse than when, like, it just thuds on the ground and you’re just standing there, like.
SuChin Pak 39:52
Like a dead body. That’s every single conversation I have with someone who’s not in the close circle is just like, thud dead bodies everywhere on my walks. My dog just got a terrible haircut called a summer cut, and so people don’t love to comment on it, which is fine, like, oh, my is that Cosmo? Like, I didn’t even recognize him, I there we are. Just be normal. Like, oh, I know he got, you know, he got terrible. I mean, I just, I’m like, damn, it was gross. And then you just walk away, and you’re just like, what was that? And now I’m I don’t even know that person’s name, and here I am. I’ve now I’m going to spend all day replaying what that was. I hate that Jesus and that cycle begets itself, which is why I always have to have headphones now, because I just would rather be known as the cold bitch in the neighborhood, then I just, I’m willing to take that on than massacre myself in front of these people. I’m doing it for everyone else, like I’m saving you from having to small talk with me, because it will be so painful to do that.
41:05
The thing about small talk, though, it always comes back. You can’t just you’ve you can keep removing it. You can keep trying, but you can’t it keeps coming back. Because it just comes back. It does, the nature of the businesses we’re in.
Kulap Vilaysack 41:20
yYour book is not small talk. So for a while now, you will be talking about this. That’s right, it’s a double edged sword. Deep Talk, great sauce. Deep soft.
SuChin Pak 41:29
Yes, that’s something you can get into.
Kulap Vilaysack 41:32
And if you want to, you can take such an suitance strategy and just have, you know, some headphones.
SuChin Pak 41:38
Yeah, don’t take anything from my cart and put it in yours. Eve, you are too beautiful and sophisticated. Living in London too.
41:47
No, I love headphones. I might, I might actually steal that one.
Kulap Vilaysack 41:50
Oh Eve, thank you so much for coming on the show. Please add to cart Eve’s memoir. Who’s that girl? Which is available September 17. Find it wherever you get your finest, freshest books, and you can find Eve on Instagram @therealeve.
Eve 42:05
Yes, thank you, ladies, so much for having me. This was a really fun conversation.
Kulap Vilaysack 42:09
Thank you.
Eve 42:09
Oh, good. Thank you so much.
CREDITS 42:16
There’s more Add to Cart with Lemonada Premium. Subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content, like where we tell you about the last item we bought or returned, and why subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Add To Cart is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producers are Kegan Zema and Tiffany Bouy. Brian Castillo is our engineer. Theme music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers or Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer, and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.
