Parenting: The Kids Weigh In
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Description
In our second episode on parenting, we hear from some real live kids! Jaime calls on her two oldest, Olivia and Max, to help her answer listener questions (and some of her own). While the three of them do a great job answering these questions, the in-between moments give us a hilarious, close-up, and endearing look into Jaime’s most important role: mom.
FYI: Tell Me What to Do contains mature language and themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Please note, this show is hosted and produced by a team that does not have any clinical or other mental or physical health training. If you are having a health or mental health crisis or emergency, please contact 911. For non-emergency mental health and addiction needs, try https://www.samhsa.gov for national and local resources.
For additional resources, information, and a transcript of the episode, visit www.lemonadamedia.com/show/tmwtd
Do you have a question for Jaime? Call 833-4LEMONADA (833-453-6662) and leave her a voicemail! You can also email her at tellme@lemonadamedia.com. Your question might get used in a future episode!
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If you aren’t already a devoted Jaime fan, follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @JaimePrimak
Transcript
SPEAKERS
Max, Olivia, Jaime Primak Sullivan
Jaime Primak Sullivan 00:00
How have things been for your family during COVID? Do you feel like you’ve gotten closer or grown further apart?
Olivia
I feel like we’ve gotten way too close.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Have you enjoyed all the time together?
Olivia
Some of it
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, that’s fair.
Olivia
I get annoyed of everyone.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Don’t let her dim your light buddy.
Max
No way, Jose.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Come on. Seriously.
Olivia
He annoys one of us. He’s gonna annoy the other one. So that’s why we team up on him.
Max
Say I’m sorry. And then hug.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Hey, guys, you’re listening to TELL ME WHAT TO DO and I am still Jaime Primak Sullivan. I guess nobody took me up on that offer last week. If you are listening to this episode, we are two weeks past the election. And I hope that whatever dust you were collecting has settled. And I wish you love and peace. wherever you may be listening to this. As far as TELL ME WHAT TO DO goes we are continuing our riveting conversation on parenting. And I am so excited to have two of my three loves on the show with me.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, so I told you my two loves are going to be on the show. And here they are. First I would like to introduce you to my son, Max. Max, say hi.
Max
Hi.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And I would like to introduce you to my oldest, the one that made me a mom. Olivia. Say hi.
Olivia
Hello.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I’m so excited to have them on. Because this is the first time that we have done anything like this together. They don’t really come on coffee talk. You know, occasionally we’ve done a few videos here and there. And obviously they were on JERSEY BELLE for those of you that saw JERSEY BELLE but, you know, this is an actual like grown up conversation. And we haven’t really had one of those before. If you hear noises in the background, it’s because I’ve asked my kids not to chew or drink but they’re gonna just keep opening their bottles.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. All right. So I want to just preface this with If at any time there is a question posed to you that you’re not comfortable answering. You can say, pass. But please don’t pass just because you’re bored or something. Like really try to answer the questions because this is an opportunity to help other parents and children have conversations that they may or may not be able to have. Okay, first, Olivia, I’m going to ask you, in your opinion, this isn’t about me or anyone else. This is just in general. What do you think makes a good mom?
Olivia 0
I think if they don’t like punish their kids too much like, if they get a bad grade or something, and they don’t overly punish them or if they don’t, or if they like, messed up on something they don’t overly like, yell at them or something.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well, that is very specific. And that is a very Olivia answer. Because you and I have just struggled with the Spanish thing. Can you give me something a little more expansive? Like, what are the types of things that, um, I’m going to get to him in a second. What are the types of things that make a good mom? Well think about the things that moms do. What and the things that they provide. Have you ever met someone with a bad mom?
Olivia
I don’t think so.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You don’t think so?
Olivia
I don’t know.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, Max, what do you think makes a good mom?
Max
I think a good mom is when they have food on the table. They give you shelter, and they take you into a bed every night.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, food, shelter. I got that going for me. And I tuck you in every night. What types of things would you think would make someone a bad mother?
Olivia 04:11
Maybe if they didn’t, like, take care of their children and like never hung out with them or like was always on their phone or always like, being like on their phone or like doing other things.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
So moms who make their kids feel like they’re not a priority? Like distracted? Do I do that?
Olivia
Sometimes.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I do.
Olivia
Yes. Because sometimes you say, oh, I’ll be there in five minutes. And then you never come. You’re on Instagram or Facebook or on a call or something.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, well, that’s honest.
Olivia
That was a lot last year,
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Last year? So more last year, less this year, right? Have I been better or worse since COVID?
Olivia
Better.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Better? In what ways?
Olivia
You’re not on your phone as much.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, Max, what are some ways like what’s like a bad mom?
Max
If they like don’t care about the children, they just go out to a club because they don’t just want to get away from the responsibilities.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Ah, running from the responsibility. I’ve done that before. Okay, we have a question from Facebook. Okay, Olivia, I’m going to pose this question to you. This is I want you to answer honestly. So it’s okay, if you want to take a second to think about the answer, okay? “Many people would describe me as different than other moms. Do you A think I’m different than other moms and B How do you feel about that?
Olivia
I think you’re kind of different because like most moms don’t have TV shows with toddlers, like don’t put their kids on better, like babies on like TV, or even have their own TV show. And you’re not really that much different now.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 06:08
Okay. How do you feel about the fact that I was the Jersey Belle or that I had a TV show or whatever?
Olivia
Well, I don’t really care that much. I don’t remember that much of it. So I don’t really care. But some people still ask about it, which is weird.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 06:23
It’s weird to you?
Olivia
Because it’s been like so many years.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Now. Does it make you feel better to say that I think it’s weird sometimes too? Do you think I’m different in the way I act or dress?
Olivia
Sometimes you can be a little over excessive.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay.
Olivia
Cheering and you’re dancing in grocery stores, stuff like that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
But would you say that makes me fun? Or do you feel like I embarrass you?
Olivia
Both.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay.
Olivia
Because during soccer, I asked you not to cheer and stuff and you don’t listen to me.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I know, it’s because I’m so passionate about you
Olivia
No, it’s fine if you cheer. But when you’re like Olivia, go to the ball, I don’t have a coach. And if he if he thinks I’m not doing it right, then he’ll probably tell me, so.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
In other words, you don’t want me to coach you?
Olivia
I don’t need sideline coaching.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, I’m going to take that little bit of criticism, and I’m going to stick it in my pocket. Thank you for that very honest answer. Okay, Max. This is a question from Kelly. She says, I have a 12-year-old daughter. And sometimes I feel like she would rather do anything other than hang out with me. What are some of your favorite things to do with your mom? And have quality time away from your siblings?
Max
Well, first of all, if she plays any sports, you can help with that and play with her. And if you want to hang out with your daughter, start doing stuff like what they like so they’ll hang out with you more. Or just force them to do it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 08:02
No, you can’t force them to do it. And you know it. I mean, you can but that’s not fun.
Olivia
Yeah, they won’t actually enjoy themselves.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Right. And then they’re moping and whining and fussing. I don’t want to say any names Olivia. But Max, what is your favorite thing to do with me?
Max
My favorite thing is probably the blade trivia pursuit.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, board game. Well, he means board games.
Max
You’re such a buzzkill, Olivia.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yeah, you’re such a buzzkill, Olivia. Okay, question for both of you. How have things been for your family during COVID? Do you feel like you’ve gotten closer or grown further apart?
Olivia
I feel like we’ve gotten way too close. Because mom is working. They both work at home. So usually there’s we’re so used to getting home with a babysitter and doing whatever we do with the babysitter and then you coming home at like 5 or 5:30 but when COVID you’re here and we cannot speak when you’re doing your podcast or when you’re on a call you choose not to go outside so we have to be like super quiet. And then it’s I don’t know, it’s just a little bit extra.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
So it’s like you feel like we’ve gotten too close. Good. Have you enjoyed all the time together?
Max
Some of it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, that’s fair.
Olivia
I get annoyed of everyone.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well, and that’s normal, Max.
Max
I feel like we’ve gotten farther actually.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You do?
Max
Yeah. It’s because you’re always at work here so I can’t even talk to you and dad always has resolved this. At least last year you were actually at home actually talking to us.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh you mean like when I would come home from work there was a separation.
Max
No, you’d pick us up.
Olivia
You didn’t pick us up on school for a longtime.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I know what you’re saying to you is like you’re saying is like when he’s saying when I would come home there was a separation.
Max
Because when you would come home We’d be able to talk to you because you’d be done with it because you wouldn’t leave your office until you were done. And then here we don’t know when you’re gonna finish and the majority of time when you’re done we already had sports.
Olivia 10:09
Exactly.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 10:10
Huh. That’s very good insight, Max. I appreciate that. Okay, we’re gonna throw to a break really quick, and then come back and answer more of your question.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, we’re back with Michelle Tan here apparently.
Max
No way, Jose.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
We have a listener question. Sarah sends us an email. She says I have two kids under five. And sometimes I worry about posting them on the internet, or about them even using it. Can you touch on how you approach that? Since you are so public with your life? How do you handle your children and social media? Do you mind them watching your content? Or do you think it’s healthy for kids to be using it all? Well, first, let me answer that.. Oh you want to go first?
Olivia
I want to go first.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, go ahead, Olivia.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I think that usually like mom doesn’t let us have Instagram or anything. So we don’t see anything she posts on there. Or anything, actually, because you don’t have to talk. So we don’t really see that much of anything that you actually post.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Right. Max? What were you gonna say?
Max
I was gonna say that, well, she isn’t less like have any social media that she’s like, she posts stuff on till or like older.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Right. So we have rules in our house. My kids are not allowed to have any social media and they can’t even have Tik Tok until they’re 12. So max will get Tik Tok in January. Olivia has it. Now, but their pages are on private, and only the people that follow them and they are whatever however.
Olivia
They are gonna send you a follow request and you can accept it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yeah, I can see their stuff. But regarding posting kids on the internet, you know, I mean, it’s so hard to say like, don’t do it. Because Facebook was intended to like, well, Facebook was originally intended to just rate girls on how hot they were, which is kind of disgusting. But now Facebook has become a place where people who live far apart can share nursery school pictures and kindergarten graduations and high school prom and all of these things. So to say not to post your kids is a little unrealistic. But I will say that when they get older, one of the things I do is what’s the thing you always say when we take a picture?
Olivia 12:32
Do not post it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Do not post it. Olivia has very clear boundaries about posting unless I get her permission. I never post her do I? She won’t even let me send it to her grandmother. Unless she gives me permission. Yes, Max.
Max
For that I’ve been posting kids on the internet like, you can post some like family pictures like the pumpkin patch and some stuff. Like a Christmas card. And videos will also be fine. Just like, if anyone just has a weird comment, either just delete the video or just delete the comment.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Right. If anyone does anything creepy, just delete it.
Olivia
And since they’re under five, they could probably watch YouTube Kids.
Max
Yeah.
Olivia
Which is what mom thinks we should still be watching.
Max
Which is not happening.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, Max, this question is going to be for you.
Max
Q&A. Part Two.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Cassandra would like to know, how do you feel about your mom traveling a lot, whether it be for work or for pleasure to go to New Jersey. Also when your dad travels for golf trips?
Max
Like when dad leaves, it’s kind of annoying. Because like, she goes to on golf trips, like, and sometimes they’ll do actually good. And sometimes they’ll just be like, get like last which was very pointless. And now, if he goes he has to get like tested for COVID and quarantine in the basement for like two weeks.
Max 14:09
Because when we were supposed to go to the beach, my dad went to a golf trip. And we weren’t allowed to see him or get near him for like, five days. And then he had to get tested him on like sanitize everything he touched. He breathed on and all that stuff. And it was really annoying.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
How do you feel when I travel for work and when I go to New Jersey and stuff?
Max
I feel like sad because I’m not gonna see you but I think you would bring us presents.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
That’s true. And what do I always sing to you on the video? I love you and miss you when I see you I’mma kiss you. I’ve been singing that to you since you were a baby. I should probably stop but I probably won’t. How do you feel when I travel?
Max
I mean, I don’t care. It’s a little special song.
Olivia
Did she point at you?
Max
Rude alert.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, go and answer and put the water bottle down. You’re drinking like you just came from the desert. Okay? No, come on seriously.
Olivia
I don’t really care that she travels that much. And when she goes to New Jersey, it’s not really that often, so it doesn’t really bother me.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, well, I would disagree. I feel like I go all the time, but I’m glad you feel like it’s not that often. That makes me happy. Olivia, what is it like being more introverted? When you have a mom who is extremely extroverted and loud?
Max
It’s so annoying because, So when like on a grocery store, like a song will be playing or something that mom knows. And I’ll just be like, walking normally. And she’ll just start like dancing and like twerking and stuff. Like, everyone I just like, run away. And it’s like, really annoying. And like, again, like on the soccer field, like some people like when their parents like cheer for them. I hate it. I hate when my parents cheer for me.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 16:10
You like it?
Max
Just because I can’t even hear you.
Olivia
Thank you for interrupting.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Hey, be nice. You can speak nicely. don’t have to like.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, I’m sorry. You’re just keep to interrupt the stories. Just keep talking about how much I yell on the soccer field. Okay, go.
Olivia
Like, my dad doesn’t really yell or do any of that kind of stuff. So it’s just weird when she does it. Very embarrassing and weird.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
All right, Max, what is the biggest challenge in having two sisters?
Max
The biggest challenges, probably like, so when I annoy both of them. They always team up on me. But again, point is I’m faster than best of them.
Olivia
I disagree, but.
Max
it’s true.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You feel like the hardest part about having two sisters is that they just tend to, like gang up on you?
Olivia
Yeah, that’s not always. Sometimes it’s me and Max against Charlie, sometimes it’s Charlie and Max against me, but most of the time, if he annoys one of us, he’s gonna annoy the other one. So that’s why we team up on him and then we always win.
Max
But the kind of a good part is like with one of them has gymnastics and like one of them saying I have something to do with the other one.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
That’s right. There’s always someone to play with in this house, which is nice.
Max
That’s why I don’t want to be an only child.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well, you will that God Willing will never happen. Olivia, what is your mom’s best quality?
Olivia
I like that she like planting stuff for us like up to like, this year, and like a few years before we’re getting our yard done. She did like Halloween parties in our backyard. And besides this year, and one year when we were redoing our grass. We didn’t do that. But I like that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You like that I plan? Like I make big events. I always do like fun social things, right?. Okay, see? Well, that’s part of having a mom with a big personality. All right. Olivia, what is your dad’s best quality?
Olivia 18:16
I feel like dad I like because he’s like a lot like me. We don’t like doing anything in public that could anyone would look at us or like, he doesn’t like cheer for. I mean, he does cheer for me on the soccer field, but not like the way mom does. And she doesn’t like yeah, like the other game I had. My mom was yelling at the referee when it was our throwing, but she just thought it was there. So she started yelling at him. And especially when we’re watching other people’s games like Max’s she’s always yelling in my ear. And dad doesn’t do that. So I like that. He’s quiet.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay,
Max
I never hear mom yell.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Max
Max 18:51
Mm hmm.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I’ll yell louder.
Max
Okay.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Max. Angie would like to know what do you love most about your mom?
Max
That she’s nice. And that she doesn’t like beat me up.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, she does not.
Olivia
She does rip my hair though.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, I don’t rip your hair but I will snap you.
Max
The worst part about her. She keeps pulling us by the ear. Which is the worst.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Guys this was what do you love most about your mom. What?
Max
I love most that she’s really nice. And she’s like Olivia she planned stuff ahead. She cheers for us.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, this is for both of you. What is one thing your mom does you will not do when you are a parent?
Max
Get a tattoo
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Get a tattoo?
Olivia
I’m doing that.
Olivia
When I’m a parent. I am not going to be embarrassing. I’m like, I’m not gonna be dancing in grocery stores and like..
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, so just so you know, no matter what your kids are still gonna think you’re embarrassing, but I believe you I actually.
Olivia
I think dad is not embarrassing.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You don’t?
Olivia
He doesn’t do anything that’s embarrassing. He doesn’t do anything to my friends. He doesn’t like, dance in public.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, that’s true. One time when Olivia was in kindergarten, she said, How come you always bonk your horn?
Olivia
My dad never honk on me. But my mom if someone’s gets in her mind, she’s like, or like if why are you in the fast lane if you’re going less than the speed limit?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Max, what is one thing that mommy does that you hope you won’t do when you become a parent?
Max
I already said that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, you did?
Max 20:40
Get a tattoo.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, get a tattoo.
Max
That’s never happening.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Break time. Let’s take a quick break.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Olivia, my child was recently not invited to a party. And I know it’s really upsetting her. How would you feel if you weren’t invited to a party? And how would your mom be able to help you.
Olivia
Well, I feel kind of sad, especially if they like told me about it. But my mom would probably beat their parents up. I don’t know she wanted to be that. I don’t know if she would do anything that actually helped me. But she except for beat up the mom
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, what is something I would do really?
Olivia
What’s ever happened to me before?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, well, what happened last week when you thought you weren’t invited to that one party? What did I say?
Olivia
None. What?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Remember when we thought you weren’t invited to that one party? Originally.
Olivia
I didn’t really care that much.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
But what was something that I did as a mom for you? What did I say?
Olivia
You said I can invite other people over.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I said you could have your own get together. I know. But you’re trying to give advice to other people.
Olivia 22:00
So you can like ask them if like there’s other people that are not going they can invite them over to your house or something like that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Right, so that’s what we said, okay, you’re not invited to this party. And that’s okay. Right. But maybe we could have we can find out who else wasn’t invited and we could have our own kind of party. All right, Max, one more for you. Okay, buddy.
Max
Got it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. What do you think about when you hear or see other people look at your mom as a celebrity?
Max
I’ve only encountered like it once. And that was at target like, Oh, my gosh, hi, you’re Jamie from JERSEY BELLE, or Coffee Talk. And like you’re like so happy bones like, Hi.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
But how do you feel when people are like, is your mama celebrity?
Max
To be honest, I don’t really pay attention. I’m busy looking at like, how wide the parking? Like the how, why they painted the parking.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, so basically anything else?
Max
Yes.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
But when someone says to you, like, Is your mom that what was your mom on that show? Or is your mom the JERSEY BELLE? How do you feel about that?
Max
Like I feel kind of eerie.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
It feels eerie? Just because they know who your mom is. And that feels kind of bizarre, you mean?
Max
Eerie means strange.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. Do you wish that I was not the JERSEY BELLE?
Max
I mean, no.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. Well, that makes me happy, buddy.
Max
It’s because I got to be in the show. But somebody didn’t want to put it on TV.
Olivia
It was on TV. It wasn’t my choice on like four
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You guys can go to therapy and talk about how your mom put you on a reality show when you were toddlers.
Olivia
Can I answer?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Go ahead, Olivia.
Olivia
I think that sometimes it’s weird because like, we’ll be with my dad and like, random people come up to me like, Hey, I watched your wife on TV or something. And like, asked to take a picture with him. Which is weird, because I don’t think I think dad hates it so much. And he’s like, yeah, I’m like, walks away, like super-fast. Like go on y’all. Like, I think he doesn’t like that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 24:16
I don’t think it bothers him as much as you think it does.
Olivia
I don’t really like it when I don’t really care if people do it when you’re there. But I just don’t like it before with dad. And they do it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, so if you’re listening to this, and you see my children when they’re with their father, they would prefer that you don’t ask him for a picture because that makes them feel weird.
Max
I’ve never actually seen that happen.
Olivia
Me and dad. It happens to him all the time.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Really? People come up to dad all the time?
Olivia
Sometimes it’s not for a picture but like one time we were at a restaurant, someone came up, you were there. And we were with dad and someone was at we were at a restaurant eating and someone just came up was like, hey, I watch your wife on coffee talk or something and they wouldn’t ask for a picture but it’s just annoying because we’re trying to eat.
Max
Oh, Yeah.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Olivia and Max, this is for both of you. How many children would you like to have when you get older? And would you like to have them as close together as I had you?
Olivia
I want to have two and yeah, I want them to be close in age.
Max
Same with Olivia.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Same you want two? Okay, well, I’m going to need more grandbabies than that. So I don’t want any pressure, but I’m going to need four children from both of you. I need y’all to have four please.
Max
I’m sorry. I can’t produce that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, I’m going to ask you a question. This is going to be the last question. Actually, I have two the first question is, have you ever seen me really cry? And do you understand why I was crying?
Max
Yes, when Ace died. Our doggy.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
That was awful.
Olivia
Mom was like walking in and he like saw a cat or something.
Max
And then, like, we had a neighbor that would just come play with us because we had no idea what was going on.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 26:04
Yeah, that was a sad day. Is that the last time you remember me like really? crying?
Olivia
Yeah,
Max
Yeah.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. Do you wish that you got the chance to meet my dad?
Max
Yes.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You do? Do you understand why I love Halloween so much?
Olivia
No.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Because my dad died on Halloween.
Max
Yeah.
Olivia
Oh, I didn’t know that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yes you did.
Olivia 26:33
You said were at a friend’s house and you got a call from like your sisters. I mean, he never told me it was on Halloween.
Max
It’s because I’m the favorite, Olivia.
Olivia
Guess what? I don’t care. I didn’t ask you that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
He’s not the favorite.
Olivia
I know. You’re not?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, he’s not. Yes, you are. You’re not he’s absolutely not. You totally are. What?
Olivia
I can hear you.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Why would I say?
Olivia
You totally are.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
He’s not.
Olivia
And I know he is because one time we were at the pool.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
He’s not, mother’s don’t have favorites. We just had like more than the other.
Olivia
We are at the pool once and so we’re at the beach. And I came up from the ocean because I got what sand in my eye and like, so I had to go rinse it out and stuff. And Max, dad and my little sister were at the at the ocean still. And I went up and mom’s at the pool talking to this random lady. And I came up and I was like, hey, do you have a bottle of water so I could rinse my out so she gave me one and so I rinsing my and I guess my mom’s introducing, like how many kids she had and stuff since I came up. And then she was like, okay, so have two girls and then one boy who’s my favorite. And then I’ve walked up and you turn around you’re like after like three seconds. You’re like, Oh, boy. Yeah. My favorite boy.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
He is my favorite boy.
Olivia
It’s favorite child.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, he’s not. He’s my favorite boy.
Olivia
But he is though.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, let me ask you this. Truly, I’m not being funny. I’m asking you seriously. Do you know how much I love you?
Max 28:09
This is what you tell me every night, to the moon and back. It’s like my guess.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I mean, do you feel it.
Max
Yeah. Yes, I can.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You can? You know every single day when you go out into the world, how much I love you for exactly who you are. And I don’t care who you are, who you love or where you go or what you do that I will just always love you; Did you just say you might move to Michigan? I’m not even sure what that has to do with my proclamation of love.
Olivia
Because you said wherever we go.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, I meant like metaphorically. But sure if you’re going to move to Michigan. I’ll still love you.
Max
I’ll go to Hawaii.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You guys are missing the point. But did you get that I love you no matter who you are, where you are who you love, where you go? what you do?
Max
Would you love me this much if I was anyone else?
Olivia
Yes, she would.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Don’t let her dim your light, buddy.
Max
Yeah.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You keep that light on.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Last question for the podcast. And this question. I would like for you to try to give a serious answer and not talk over each other. I’m going to start with Olivia. Olivia. Sometimes, I have rough relationships with my siblings and my own mother. How do you feel about the fact that sometimes I struggle with my siblings and my mom.
Olivia
I think like it’s kind of annoying because like, we never get to see our uncle David ever. We haven’t seen him in like three years. Because you don’t like him for some reason. And I thought that was her mother.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
It’s not that I don’t like I love him.
Olivia 30:02
You don’t talk to him. And you don’t talk to your mom that well actually you kind of do. But I don’t really remember on her birthday, apparently, like you told dad, for us to call her. And she told us that you only texted her happy birthday and you never called her. So I feel like that is weird.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
What part was weird?
Olivia
Both. You didn’t call her and then, and you told us to call her but you didn’t call her apparently.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well, I didn’t call her at that moment she wanted me to call her I was gonna call her but I was dealing with vertigo, and the whole world was spinning. But apparently she didn’t appreciate that very much. And she was mad.
Olivia
She was very mad.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
How could you tell?
Olivia
Because we were on speaker. And we were saying it and she was like, Well, um, I wanted Jaime would call me but. But she never called. She just sent me a text and dad was like, well, Jamie has been telling me to call you like this one entire day.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, I’m so glad your dad will throw me under the bus, that’s amazing. The Susan bus just run me right over. Okay, so you just miss your aunts and uncle?
Olivia
Yeah.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Do you even know your aunt’s names?
Olivia 3
Yes.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 31:23
Okay. Just making sure because Charlie do not.
Olivia
What she say?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
She’s like, who’s that girl?
Olivia
I know all of them.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. David, I mean, that’s not you. That’s my brother, right? Sorry. I called you by the wrong name. It happens in 44. max, how do you feel about the fact that I don’t speak to my siblings or my mom that much?
Max
I think it’s kind of weird with your mom, because every time you talk to her, you get an argument over Donald Trump.
Olivia
Yeah, that is also weird, because you don’t support the same things that she does. And she doesn’t support what you do. So even if you’re calling her just to catch up, it always turns into, oh, whatever Donald Trump is doing, or whatever Biden’s doing or whatever they’re doing now.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 32:08
So politics has become a big issue.
Max
Yeah, because I don’t really care about politics right now. One, I’m old enough to vote two, I can’t even make a decision on whether I want it or not. And three, I just want that cool sticker that you get.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You just want the I voted sticker?
Olivia
That’s a chocolate, And I get so annoying.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
It does?
Olivia
When you talk about that, even with anyone like when Courtney was over that you talked about that for like an hour.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well, it’s just it’s a lot. It’s affecting our country right now. Things are polarizing tensions are running high. There’s a lot at stake. And there’s, you know, it’s just I know that you guys are young and shielded from a lot of that. And I know that politics has damaged a lot of families. There’s probably a lot of people listening right now who live with families divided right now who are, you know, trying to figure out how to make up or put it back together. Do you have any advice for them, Max?
Max
I do. Say I’m sorry. And then hug.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
But that doesn’t make it just go away, bud.
Max
Or to talk about the problem first.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well, what if talking about it makes it worse?
Max
Then write a note.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Do you think that sometimes taking a break within families from each other is healthy?
Olivia
I mean, yeah, if it’s making them mad.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
So how come you don’t understand that I’m taking a break from some of my siblings?
Olivia
Because you’ve been taking a break from uncle David for three years. Pretty sure that’s very long. It’s a very long break.
Max
My turn? I think a break is good. Like at least like, if you’re like mad at them for something, like take like a one-month break from them. It’s because I read in a book it said, sometimes best friends get on each other’s nerves. And that’s also what happens with family. So you just have to give it time.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 34:11
That’s right. All right. We’ll say goodbye, Max. Let’s say goodbye. Sit down. If you made it this far with my crazy kids, I am so grateful that you listen to this episode of TELL ME WHAT TO DO with Jamie Primak Sullivan, Olivia Sullivan and Max Sullivan. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for all your questions. Thank you for loving me and my babies the way that you do. And please share this podcast and maybe listen with your own kids and see what their answers would be to some of these questions. Okay. Thank you so much. And make sure you share and tell everybody to listen, have a great, great week. Thank
Max & Olivia
Thank you and bye!
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, guys. I know said goodbye. But I had a really important thought after sitting with my kids and the kids are gone. And I’m just debriefing with my producers. And I had a thought that I thought I wanted I needed to share with other moms. When I asked my children, if they remembered the last time, they really saw me cry. And if they remembered why their response was when Ace died and that was three years ago. And I want you guys to understand that all of the times we cry, and we don’t want them to see us or we feel like we need to hide or whatever. It feels so monumental to us. But they’re not really clocking it as a like major dysfunction. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried in front of my children, since Ace has died, and they are not clocking these momentary losses of emotional control, these very real moments. They’re not clocking them; it’s not sticking with them. So when you go to bed at night, and you go, Oh, I cried today, and they had a thing and I had a moment I felt and I whatever, most likely, they are not banking it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Both of my children came up with the same answer. Oh, yeah, when Ace died that was three years ago, that means that they don’t remember me crying. You know, the major fallout with my mother. They don’t remember me crying when I had to give away, Sparrow. I mean, they don’t remember me crying hysterically when Naya died when my friend’s son died. I mean, there’s so much that has gone on in the last three years where I felt like oh my gosh, I feel like I have these moments all the time. And I’m crying and I’m, they’re not even clocking it. So allow yourself as mothers to feel to cry to break down sometimes because it’s not messing them up as much as we think it is. They’re not even getting it. So anyway, I just had to share that with you because I wish somebody would have shared that with me. Because apparently the last time I cried was three years ago, so terrific. Okay, now I’m really saying goodbye for real goodbye.
CREDITS
TELL ME WHAT TO DO is a production of Lemonada Media. The show is produced by Kryssy Pease and associate produced by Claire Jones. It’s edited by Kuraev music is by Dan Molad, Jessica Cordova Kramer, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jaime Primak Sullivan are our executive producers rate and review us and follow us at @lemonadamedia on all your favorite social platforms. Of course you can follow me at @jaimeprimaksullivan on Facebook or at @jamiepsullivan on Instagram. If you have any questions for me that you want me to answer on the show, give me a call at 833-453-6662.
