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All Podcasts Saving Marriages (and Christmas) with Majandra Delfino

Saving Marriages (and Christmas) with Majandra Delfino

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Description

For many people, being stuck in the house with your partner for 21 months straight isn’t the best recipe for romance and smooth sailing. Add on the holidays and, holy hell, you might as well just re-download Tinder. Luckily, Dr. MD Majanda Delfino is here to save us all from swiping yes on anything except kisses from our Mr. or Mrs. Plus, Ku and Su exchange gifts!

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Majandra Delfino, SuChin Pak, Kulap Vilaysack

Majandra Delfino  00:11

Hey everyone, welcome to another fine, fine episode of ADD TO CART. A show where we talk about the things we buy, what we buy into and what they say about who we are. I am SuChin Pak.

Kulap Vilaysack

And I’m Kulap Vilaysack. And this week we are bringing back dear, dear. Dr. MD. Our boots on the ground correspondent Majandra Delfino, she’s coming to us from the field, this time of marriage and love. You recall that her hubby is none other than last week’s guests, David Walton, Mahindra is going to give us all the tips we need to stay married during a never-ending global pandemic and the holidays.

SuChin Pak

That’s right, we’re going to open our gifts as well. But before we do, I was checking our accounts and I’ve gotten a bunch of DMs from folks asking for two quick updates. The first update, they want to know how your nephew is doing. And then the second update they wanted to some folks had asked how my Thanksgiving eventually went. I think that episode was a very emotional episode. Unexpected, which is the best kind of emotional episode. So thank you guys for you know, writing and listening.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I’ll go first. My nephew Kai, not to be confused with your son Kai. He’s doing he’s doing really well at his new school. He is with friends that he went to elementary school with and he’s very happy. Unfortunately, he wasn’t even in the new school for a full week before he was positive for COVID.

Majandra Delfino

Man, Christmas this year. It you got to be I mean, this kid deserves. What do you want? What do you want? Auntie Ku, Auntie Su? What do you want? You want to fly around in it? You want to strap it on the back and launch into space with it? What do you need?

Kulap Vilaysack  02:08

How many trading cards you want?

SuChin Pak 

You need to go to that place.

Kulap Vilaysack

Well, yeah. He is doing well. On the front that you guys are asking. He is recovering from COVID. He hasn’t had a fever and well over four days. He’s on his way to good health. He’s bored out of his mind. He’s on his phone. I can’t get him to read, he quote when I said Kai what about reading? And he said books are stupid. I’m like, you’re a smart kid that gets straight A’s. I can hear this from you.

SuChin Pak 

Hey, listen, books are stupid. Sometimes books are stupid. And you go through that phase. All right, and then you’ll come back. Well, good to hear on all fronts. I mean, yes. Sucks that the COVID hit, but at the same time he’s recovering. Yes. So, you know what I mean? That’s not bad news. It could be much worse. So I’m glad to hear that. My Thanksgiving. You know how some things go? Unexpected. You think that it’s going to be one way and you’re like, wow, I was really surprised. It wasn’t that way. Mine was exactly how I imagined it would be to a tee without even one. One shred of deviation from exactly how I thought it was going to be. Hashtag SuChin was right. Hashtag. I’m an Oracle, truth seer. So it went exactly as I said, there were moments of joy. There were moments of extreme embarrassment. There were moments of fear and connection. Those are the four things that came to mind. Did my dad pitch my brother-in-law? Who’s you know, very successful movie producer? His movie idea that he has pitched to us for the past 10 years. Antique Cat. Yes, it’s about a cat. But is an antique expert. Go ahead.

Kulap Vilaysack  04:11

#AntiqueCat, #moveoverGarfield. #fucklasagna.

SuChin Pak

#blockbuster. Okay? Did he pitch Antique Cat again? Yeah. Did I want to die? Yeah. Did I have to translate for 35 minutes through the entire pitch? Yes. But, did my mother get two helpings of Turkey she doesn’t like Turkey and she said it was the best Turkey she ever had. So it’s exactly what I thought it was going to be, I survived. Alright, so Majandra is going to join us in just a minute and then later on, we’re all gonna open gifts. So let’s get to it.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Add to Carter’s, first she came to us with Spermidine . Then she came to us with slurp. Now she’s back to save our marriages. She is the one we love and trust with a capital T. Please welcome Dr. MD, who is not actually a doctor, Majandra Delfino.

SuChin Pak 

She’s in the ring. She’s in the ring. She’s in the ring, ladies.

Majandra Delfino 

What an honor. And to see one marriage. And one sometimes gets saved there. I mean, look, everyone has been stuck together for so long. And I did get a bit a little bit of a chuckle. Because I’m always stuck with my husband. We’re constantly out of work constantly at home together. And I mean, truly for 12 years. And so it was one of those moments. I was like, hmm, I actually really know how to do this how to just coexist with someone 24/7 in the same space and not commit murder. And that was the one kind of thing where I’m like, huh, I think maybe I have some dips. They may work, they may not.

Kulap Vilaysack  06:17

I mean, we haven’t even dived into the tips yet. This sounds like a book, Majandra.

Majandra Delfino 

it’s a Stephen King book.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Okay, I wasn’t. I didn’t mean a novelization or horror novelization, but okay.

Majandra Delfino 

It’s either a bodice ripper or..

Kulap Vilaysack 

Okay, well, I’m just, I’m ready to dive in. Because these are embarrassing, but effective things requiring full earnestness,

Majandra Delfino 

That is the key, I think, for me, I’m so mortified by all the sort of like, like therapy speak, like, I hear you. When you say this, I feel I’m like, oh, you know, I just I hate it so much. But David had this great sort of thing that he sucked me into, that I ended up really appreciating, which is that he guys, this is gonna make your skin crawl. And it does mine, but yet it’s effective. And that’s how you know, he will set a timer every day. I’m already scared. He’ll set a timer every day for seven minutes. Okay, and no, this is not seven minutes in heaven. That would be great. It’s seven minutes of gratitude. We have to look each other in the eye for seven minutes. Yes. Yes. Well, and just until that timer goes off, alternate one person, what they’re grateful for what I’m grateful for what he’s, you know, over and over and over. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about the other person. But you do want to sneak a few of those in there. And it’s supposed to have some sort of like bonding effect. I don’t know why, but it works. And I hate it. But it works.

Kulap Vilaysack  08:06

I believe that it works. There’s no way in hell that I will be able to strap Ackerman down to do this and we will not make it a minute.

SuChin Pak 

Wait, hold on a second. You’re doing this every week?

Majandra Delfino 

No, so he tries to do it every day. This is where we’re at guys in life.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Like the fact that you guys can do this.

Majandra Delfino

It’s also David. I mean, you guys just had him on. And so and he loves like a schedule and a bill in the backpack and a zipper, you know, so he really is very intense about it. I’m like, okay, you know, it’s like I get to sit and not do something, you know, not have to be like cleaning or whatever. So my […] great seven minutes. And weirdly, it works.

Majandra Delfino 

But you have to be looking at him. And you have to be looking at him like in the eyes. Need to be facing each other in the eyes for seven minutes. Now, my first question is, I would run out of things after 48 seconds. I mean, how do you?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Are you allowed to repeat. You have extra gratitude for.

Majandra Delfino

Well one you hope the person like rambles so that the time you know.. I’m gonna give you some tips also how to do how it.

SuChin Pak 

How to win your seven minutes of gratitude.

Majandra Delfino

But too, you can say anything you’re grateful for. You could be like I loved that it was windy today. You know, you could venture into other things. But you do have to at least once say something about the other person. I hate it, but it works. I find the whole marriage thing to just be a little cuckoo cuckoo where you’re like, wait, what, it’s so uncomfortable. These like earnest sort of conversations and exercises and all of that. I get such dork tingles, but it is that kind of thing where you go okay, like constantly like this constantly evolving this relationship is and I have to like water this thing, even though I hate the act of doing it because I feel like such a dork.

SuChin Pak  10:10

You know what just hit me. And of course, this is probably one to one to most folks out there. Because yeah, marriage is one of those things that like even though it makes your skin crawl, if it’s what the other person needs, you do have to water that plant, right? I mean, it goes both ways.

Majandra Delfino 

Okay, ready, I’m going to read you what my couples therapist, so our couples therapist that we went to before getting married, and she quit on us, she fired us.

Kulap Vilaysack 

She says, please do not return.

Majandra Delfino 

She was like I can’t. I can’t with the same thing over and over. And we were like, Oh, I mean, it was a real wake up call. This is a quote from her ready. She sent an email when she broke up with us. And then at the end, she said, love is not enough to secure a long-life union. What is important is a shared vision for what love looks like.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Add to Cart exclusive.

Majandra Delfino

Well, I think love looks like this. And this is even like beyond love language stuff. It’s that thing of like, I think you’re doing this sort of thing to me. But for you. That’s no big deal. And something I realized that happens a lot in relationships. And I don’t want to make this about male or female. But I did notice that this is this sort of theme with a lot of dudes in my life. They tend to do this thing of like, I’m not cold. And then their wife or girlfriend is like, no, no, but I’m cold. And they’re like, but I’m not cold. So you shouldn’t be cold kind of thing. And it’s like no, no, no, you need to know she needs a sweater. Even if you don’t. And it’s just that simple. It’s not denying someone’s reality feelings. And that is her version of how things are right now. And it’s about understanding that and vice versa, obviously, but that’s just so hard to do. You know?

Kulap Vilaysack  12:01

It is, Su, I feel like you’re, you are familiar, I remember you bringing up relationship journals before, Su.

Majandra Delfino 

Talk about dork tingles? Guys, all of this is so uncomfortable.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Best self-relationship journals $69. It’s a set of intentional guided relationship journals to help you grow your love and become better partners in as little as one hour per week.

Majandra Delfino 

I know, don’t you just want to die. So there’s two of them. And you each have these essentially assignments that you do at your own pace, that are these uncomfortable prompts, to sort of get to the bottom of whatever your thing is. It could be I don’t know how you speak to one another. A lot of there’s so many couples that have these intimacy issues, all that sort of stuff is just unearthed. Page by page. Okay. And it’s almost like attacking it from an educational standpoint, which to me feels a little bit better than being like so you know, squishy, hardy, you know, crying, huggy? But still wildly uncomfortable, which I think is the point.

SuChin Pak 

Wait, and then are you letting the other person read your journal?

Majandra Delfino 

I think that really sort of depends on you. But no, you get your own. Okay. And it’s like what you choose to share. But if you want to just balls out, go for it.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Didn’t you do something like this? But you do share?

Majandra Delfino 

No, no, no, it’s not even fancy. I mean, I saw this thing for like, $3.99. And like a bargain bin. It picked it up on like, not as a joke. But I was like, that’s fine. And it was like just questions that you ask each other. And you have to answer them while looking at each other. But I like the idea of a journal. And tell me if you guys agree, because I think we’re all sort of similar is that, at least for me, like, I just had this in my couples therapy. I was like, if we could just have every argument over an email chain, I would be so much happier and freer and honest. What happens with me is that I get in front of someone and every fight or flight fawn instinct goes off. And I don’t say anything. That’s actually honest. I’m not trying to be dishonest. It’s just like my brain has overrided and so when I can write something down, that’s I think the truth of the matter for me, because face to face is so uncomfortable.

Majandra Delfino 

I would love to have a fun instinct.

Majandra Delfino  14:24

I was like, I don’t know what that is.

SuChin Pak 

Oh, you guys don’t know what fun is. Oh, I love talking about fun. I didn’t know this till like this year, when I was listening to another fantastic podcast […] and they were talking about it. and people usually talk about the three F’s but they don’t talk about the fourth F which is fawn. So it’s another like survival instinct, right fight or flight instinct. That’s about making the other person feel comfortable. Good. Excellent. So you can survive the conflict, as women we all know this. I mean, especially as women I think a lot of people obviously you know, it’s universal but especially as women I think we’re very much often in the fawn anyway. Yeah, that thing of like oh my god you look […] We don’t need to talk about it now you know, just later like later let’s talk about it.

Kulap Vilaysack 

It’s how you move past the moment as fast as you can

SuChin Pak 

All right. So let’s get back to this so the journal is great.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Majandra says everyone should have their own bedroom and bathroom but if you can’t and if you don’t, what else should you have, Majandra?

Majandra Delfino 

I mean, I just think this separate bedroom is it’s so underrated and it’s so like filled with shame when you find out the couple’s sleep in a different bedroom. And I’m like, That’s brilliant. And you know, the old saying like, the key to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. Some of us don’t have that option. So these things I’m not kidding. You guys have lasted the test of time do these little matchbooks like this? The size of a matchbook, but each match is an incense. Incense.

Kulap Vilaysack  16:24

Oh, yes. Incense, it’s an incense, incense, an incense stick.

Majandra Delfino 

Thank you. And I’m telling you guys, it is all about this thing. You go in the bathroom. I’m not gonna say what you’re doing in there. But you might want it to smell a little better. It just gives you that feeling of I can be in here undetected and not have to think about this other person that’s constantly up in my grill and is about to walk in. And all of that, you know, it sort of removes that instantly by doubling up the match. technique. And also the scent. SuChin I noticed a little uncomfortable over there. How are we feeling?

Kulap Vilaysack 

I think it’s because she doesn’t know what’s going on.

SuChin Pak 

I love that we’ve come into this. We’re like we’re gonna save your marriages. We start off real strong. Like, dude, we’ve got these relationship journals. And we’ve got things to cover up your boobs smell, You know what? Surviving marriage is the small stuff.

Kulap Vilaysack 

SuChin is crying you guys

SuChin Pak 

I’m crying and I’m laughing so hard. Because I just I’m also like, relating so hard. But I’m also like this also deranged, which is, so I’m thinking all these things, you know,

Majandra Delfino 

It’s also just wild to because there is a feeling no matter how sweet your spouse’s or partner that you’re kind of like sleeping with the enemy a little, you know, like, they’re not going to kill you because it smells bad in there. But you’re like, really trying to hide stuff, which is absurd. And that’s why this thing is just […]. And you truly just never have to live in fear again. And then the other one is, look, if you don’t have a separate room, there’s just wouldn’t it be so nice to wake up early and start like click clacking away on your laptop and not be like, Oh, he’s gonna get all annoyed I woke them up or whatever, or vice versa, stay up late and whatever, or scroll, whatever the case may be of what you’d like to do. I have now given David earplugs truly, just like, drown me out. Like I’m not in this room. drown me completely out earplugs, I mask whatever it takes like 10 fans running so that I can I’m like a bed writer, you know, I’m a bed person. I like to be in the bed and do some things. And I always feel like I’m like walking on eggshells because he’s sleeping which is you know, the respectful thing to do is to let him sleep. So now I’m kind of just sort of shut him in. And he does the same with me where he can do what he needs to do. We have very different schedules. He likes to wake up super early. I’m a night out you know, and it just got to that point where I’m like, I can’t Tim Ferriss it man. I’m not gonna wake up at 4AM and do an ice bath, coffee and yeah, […]

Kulap Vilaysack 

I’m laughing because I’m noticing that both Majandra and Mike Bender, want to strip David of his senses. We don’t want him to hear we don’t want him to see his food in a birthday meal. We want David to be impaired.

SuChin Pak 

Because him impaired is a regular human at 100. I mean, you have to cut that man down to just keep up.

Majandra Delfino 

He’s like so […]. You know where I’m like, okay, you know, just put the earplugs in something over the mouth something over the eyes, put him to bed. And that’s just like, because otherwise, you know I’m wasting my time.

SuChin Pak  20:09

Basically you, you put him in a coffin. She puts him in what we liked. Is the husband coffin kit.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Is what we do in shadows.

SuChin Pak 

You guys, I can’t breathe better

Majandra Delfino 

It’s better than a man cave . It’s the new man cave.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I really just bringing strategies of survival to us.

Majandra Delfino 

I mean, it is about survival. I love it everyone’s cry

Kulap Vilaysack 

You want us to also Add To Cart? Esther Perel however you can get her..

Majandra Delfino 

Speaking of uncomfortable. So I don’t know if you’re saying love starts. I’m not gonna get this right. But this is you know; the just love starts up here and dies down here. I’m pointing to my crotch.

Kulap Vilaysack 

So love dies. Okay, love..

Majandra Delfino 

Love starts in your mind. Hey, and dies. This is what brings me to the point that I have been privy to. And like flabbergasted by admissions from couples of like, oh, yeah, we haven’t had sex in two years. Oh, I know. And it’s that thing of like, this person has become my best friend. And I will say full disclosure. I did not marry my best friend at all. Not at all. I married like the dude, I wanted a bone, you know to mean, or have bone? You know what I’m saying. So this to me was like, wait, what? Like, that’s kind of the only thing he’s, we’ve got going on. This was a real revelation to me. And at first I thought, You know what, to each his own? Who am I to judge? But then now as I’m like getting to the bottom of it, I’m realizing this is a big problem. And is allegedly, something you should absolutely expect. It’s kind of like if you marry someone, they stopped talking to you. It’s in that same sort of vein if someone just stops touching you or whatever, like that is also something where you can say this is not what I signed up for. And so my sad research until like, how does someone like ignite that brought me to of course, our Queen Esther Perel mating in captivity that whole concept of how to keep the sort of like fire alive in such a long-lasting marriage and I found that to be one fascinating that that is sort of her like, pinnacle of who she is and what she teaches and to just a huge I believe like a huge, huge help, whatever you got to do mentally to just get back into that place with that person. Put a bag over their head I don’t know whatever it is. I have no idea.

SuChin Pak 

There he goes Dave’s back in the coffin. We just got him out. He was the guy wanted to bone. She put him right back in the coffin.

Majandra Delfino 

So what I do is I put an eye mask on, ear plug.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I put an iPad on his face.

Majandra Delfino  24:14

I had this friend growing up Patrick Norris who would always say he’s a big hippie always go whenever you got a problem man in your relationship just make love and I was like what? And then now I’m like I think there’s something to that, you know?

Kulap Vilaysack 

I think so. If and Patrick Norris is the type of person that I am, I qualify it there. If I don’t have sex then I don’t feel connected to Scott.

Majandra Delfino 

Same and vice versa.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Then we are friends and I guess we’re roomies for me, it has to happen.

Majandra Delfino

Yeah, you’re like otherwise Who is this guy here in my house? You know what I mean? Like, and that’s the part of me that I gave to you and only you for f sake, you know what I mean? When I gathered cobwebs over here, you know, and that’s kind of the starting to notice is that aspect of so many marriages is so just disconnected. And I think to myself, I used to think, oh, I’m being so sort of petty to think that it’s such a huge building block, but now might be something to it. Yeah. Her book, her podcast.

SuChin Pak 

Just got a game. She’s like a card game, right? I saw someone with a card game.

Majandra Delfino 

I wouldn’t be surprised. Whatever it is, but doing whatever it takes.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Okay, so removed from cart, which we remove from cart, Majandra?

Majandra Delfino 

Okay, guys, this is a real twist. Because I’ve been telling you this whole time how to keep the marriage intact, do what it takes, get a VR mask, but now my remove from cart is a miserable marriage. You just, you can only do so much.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I wish I could put you in a time machine to a year after my parents got married. No, you let my sisters be born. And then Majandra shows up. Time machine. lets them know.

Majandra Delfino  26:11

That’s right. There’s always this narrative, especially when there’s kids of the kids. And it’s just truly as a child of divorce. The worst thing you could do for your kids, not a day goes by this is so awful. But I’m so grateful that my parents divorced. And an Add to Cart when removing the miserable, miserable marriage from cart is this brilliant website called itsovereasy.com. You just go into the website; you get it started. Because there’s such a you know, just you have to demystify the whole process of getting a divorce. And how are we going to live on the line who gets what, blah, blah. And it doesn’t have to be this crazy, contentious long-drawn-out thing. You can just go to this website and get it started. New life going.

Kulap Vilaysack 

The leading brand in premium online divorce, no lawyers, no court visits, no hassle, it’s over easy. And then there’s a button that says Start your divorce in a happy yellow.

SuChin Pak 

In a DC yellow. If I click on this as Mike and I get some sort of notification, just because I’m curious to know what happened?

Majandra Delfino 

Oh, no, listen, have I clicked on it and filled out the whole thing until it’s time to pay? You know, it’s good to know, these things are possible. It’s a good exercise.

Kulap Vilaysack 

You get comfortable in what you know, even though you’ve been living, you know, uncomfortably for years, days, weeks. And the fear of the unknown is such a, it just stops a lot of people from making big steps that are necessary. Majandra, you have a thing, something really important to just bring up for not in a abusive or unhealthy relationship with domestic abuse, we can imagine that being in a pandemic together, being locked up essentially, with, you know, your abuser, that is also a story that needs to be told about this time.

Majandra Delfino  28:20

100%, and that’s the thing, too, I think it’s so easy, you know, for me to come on here. And jokingly just make fun of my very sweet and emotionally intelligent husband and oh, this and that. But the truth is, you know, it’s this is a very real thing, domestic violence. And I think it’s a very misunderstood thing. Where people make these assumptions of, well, why would you put up with something like that? Why wouldn’t you leave, and they just don’t understand sort of the heart of the matter and how complicated it is. And, look, I mean, people won’t leave marriages that are miserable. Imagine if you’re stuck in a home with someone that’s physically threatening to harm you if you do even the slightest thing wrong, and that sort of world I don’t think people realize that much about, and we’re starting to see that it’s really just prevalent during this time. And I think that learning how to support people like that, looking for signs. That’s not something people are usually dying to sort of shout from the rooftops. And just being made aware of that. And knowing what it takes and where to sort of send them for the tools and help that they need is just sort of should be our job for all of us looking out for our friends and maybe friends that we don’t realize are under those circumstances at all.

SuChin Pak 

Yes, we’ll put these links in our show notes and up on our posts so that you guys can see Mahindra has researched a few places that look fantastic. and are great resources for anyone in these types of relationships or you know someone that you know that may be in this type of relationship.

Kulap Vilaysack  30:09

Thank you Majandra so much. You really this year become a light in my life. I’m going to be texting you about Christmas.

Majandra Delfino 

Oh, I can’t wait. Will you please just get me in?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Let me get you in the Spirit. You know what, SuChin I’m not leaving you out. I mean, you need a little Christmas Ku as well.

SuChin Pak 

Ku is here for all of us. You know, we’ve got a voicemail line as well. And if you need that extra little Christmas help Christmas Ku, you know, she’s here to encourage us. She’s here to give us the fortitude to get us through this wonderful season.

Kulap Vilaysack 

It’s nondenominational it’s all joy. It’s shiny, it’s glittery. And it’s bright.

Majandra Delfino 

I love that. Ah, I’m already starting to turn great.

SuChin Pak

You know, we’re getting in the mood. Right? Right, Ku? We’ve been in the mood. So I’m gonna open our presence together. And Majandra, we got you this present. Go ahead and open it.

Majandra Delfino 

Oh, I already know. Which I’ve never actually physically been able to go. But I’ve followed them forever.

SuChin Pak 

Some of you have may heard of the city that I visited earlier this year. Paris I don’t know it’s a smaller town. Little town.

Majandra Delfino 

Wow. wow. wow.

SuChin Pak 

Listen, I don’t speak or read French but from what I know from the apothecary and there should be something else in there like a little..

Majandra Delfino  32:08

There is. It’s got my name.

SuChin Pak 

what I picked out for you and I actually bought it for myself one for you, one for me, is this beautiful skin tonic that you can use as a toner on its own. But you can soup it up with this tiny little powder of hyaluronic acid that is in powder form, okay? And then you shake that and I knew you would love this because you are a Doctor, fake Doctor.

Majandra Delfino

I am a doctor and this is so great to add to my labs, might I also try and adjust this later just to see. Kulap, have you seen.

Kulap Vilaysack

We don’t have to ingest it, Majandra, […] eyes we don’t have..

Majandra Delfino 

I believe it is my duty to also be lab rat and also be able to say that no animals were harmed.

SuChin Pak 

So yeah, you add that powder into that tonic you shake it up and you leave it for 24 hours and then what happens is that tonic turns into this amazing hyaluronic gel, consistency, it’s really fun.

Majandra Delfino 

This is dream I mean way to hit this out.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Majandra, this is a thank you for I mean, your countless appearances honor in our first year.

Majandra Delfino 

Just being here was enough. This is amazing. I don’t think I can ever come down from this. Poor David he’s screwed this Christmas now. He better buy a coffin. Thank you guys so much for this. This is brilliant.

Kulap Vilaysack  34:10

Well happy holidays.

SuChin Pak 

So should I go first? Okay. I have lots of little presents. So okay, I’m gonna try to get through this quickly. But not too quickly. Oh my God, there’s so much in here. I woke up this morning and I had canceled Christmas in my mind. And guess what? It’s back on back. I’m back. I’m back. Okay, kids, my kids are going to be really happy when I tell them because this is back on because this morning when they wouldn’t eat breakfast. I said Christmas is canceled. Oh, I’ve been wanting this brush but who’s gonna spend the money on this, not me. I’ve been thinking about this as I’m losing my perimenopausal hair right at my scalp line.

Kulap Vilaysack 

You love the hair story. Brush for the shower. Now this is for the scalp. Now this is an experience that you can have any time outside of the shower.

Majandra Delfino 

Oh my goodness, there’s so much in here. What is this little guy? Oh, it’s a crystal.

Kulap Vilaysack 

And I got you this before I found out that you had turned to the light side. The bright side. And it’s amethyst. Sue that’s a stone of healing and yeah, I need that purple and beautiful to look at.

SuChin Pak 

I’m gonna put it in my pants. Just kidding. This is gorgeous.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I think that would hurt.

SuChin Pak 

Oh, a blueland Evergreen foaming hand soap. You know, I love blueland.

Kulap Vilaysack  36:00

You’re the one who got me into blueland, AAPI owned.

SuChin Pak 

AAPI owned. Female owned. I love their hand soaps. That’s like to me there’s stellar product. What’s this? I mean, you really listened, Ku. You looked into my eyes and you held me. These are the ones I’ve been wanting. They’re the do forever I’m asked by this woman is Charlotte. I think I forget her last name. I love her. I follow her. She’s like a skincare guru. And this is her line where you can put a serum on a reusable eyepatch. I know. And I’m going to put these babies right in the fridge and then I’m going to sit with that while I go pick up my kids. Like a freak. Oh my god, there’s more. Wait, there’s so much in here you guys. Oh, peppermint foamy handsoap you did make a stocking. Oh, I love these Christmas flavors. You know, I didn’t get that. You know, I just got my regular.

SuChin Pak 

I didn’t even think slowly like I said to Majandra, you know I’m a long game person right? And that’s why again, guys, that’s why I start my Christmas stuff early. I’m gonna get you Su, I’m going to get you real good.

SuChin Pak 

Fragrance free body wash. I love, you’re so good. I love that you did fragrance free. What is this? I know the brand. But tell me about this.

Kulap Vilaysack 

That’s something fancy. Because you’re never gonna buy anything fancy for yourself.

SuChin Pak 

Body wash by the way. I don’t know if I’ve ever bought myself a bodywash.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Or whatever grout cleaner you’re using at the time.

SuChin Pak 

Too much in here. What’s this Crown Affair. Wait, that sounds familiar.

Kulap Vilaysack 

That’s a very fancy hair sort of brand, they do combs they also do.. It’s a hair towel. Also something Su wouldn’t purchase herself. Why use a big full-sized towel when you can have a tiny towel just for your head

SuChin Pak  38:13

Claire is dying, she’s so happy. Thank you! Oh my god, this is so luxury. Oh, Ku. These are all the things that that I’ve wanted. And some of the stuff that crew has had that I just look at lovingly and listen to. And now I get to have it for my own because I’m worth it.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Let’s keep them both ways. Merry Christmas, SuChin!

SuChin Pak 

Okay, yay Christmas is safe! For now we’ll see when I pick up my kids

Kulap Vilaysack 

My turn I love gifts. Gifts are my love language to give and to receive.

SuChin Pak 

This is just something small from […] from my trip to France as you guys all know, I want a little crazy there.

Kulap Vilaysack 

[…] established 1803. First of all, so gorgeous I know me get in here. Oh boy. Okay. the fanciest toothpaste I’ve ever seen. The packaging is so gorgeous. It’s very Gucci.

SuChin Pak 

I’m telling you it was Gucci before Gucci was Gucci. It looks like Gucci toothpaste. Look at this toothpaste, Claire.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh my god, it’s actually breathtaking. Just the packaging alone.

SuChin Pak  40:00

That’s what it looks like. That’s what the tube looks like.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I actually don’t it’s you know, one of those things when it’s like so nice you never want to use it well just you it’s like I want to keep it mints, you know and its packaging.

SuChin Pak 

And then I got you the matching. Not matching but I got you there floss. And the reason I bought it for you is because the floss one is amazing, but two, it’s matte black.

Kulap Vilaysack 

No, it’s not. I didn’t even open it yet. Oh my goodness, it is matte black. This is so nice. It’s like so nice I love it. Okay, thank you.

Majandra Delfino 

Huge thank you. Now the other present I bought sort of like […] whim when you open it you’ll see around when I bought it.

Kulap Vilaysack

I love it. And this is very well packaged, double triple packaged, wow, here we go. We’re still opening it. It’s like cannot wait. Don’t break it. Get another.

Majandra Delfino

Nah, well, you’ll see why I’m sure this person patched it in 18 packages it’s I think it’s fragile.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Here’s one piece of it.

SuChin Pak 

Oh god. What is it?

Kulap Vilaysack 

This is okay, what this is a cord and a light. Okay, what a teaser. Feels heavy feels substantial. Now I’m getting into the innards you guys and going further and putting through more packaging getting through some bubble wrap, this is ASMR for you people.

SuChin Pak  42:03

Oh my goodness this thing is really

Kulap Vilaysack

Really wrapped.

SuChin Pak 

she didn’t want it to break.

Kulap Vilaysack

I know I appreciate it Okay, here we go. Now we’re getting into the heart of it I feel like I’m Dr. MD right now to surgery in very careful not to damage my gift of my, SuChin and yet more, there’s more, now we’re into paper guys, here it comes. This is a huge […] tower that it is been excavated from the bottom so that I may put this light underneath it […] is what has a beautiful unicorn and […] is a clearing stone and you put it around clear yourself, you put it around your other crystals to clear them.

SuChin Pak 

I mean listen we have come full circle.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I gotta say if you didn’t believe in Christmas at the top of this episode, surely you do at the end. Surely you do, and as I hit my crystal to see if it chimes to hopefully a bell, a bell is shook and an angel receives its wings. Clang.

SuChin Pak

Wow what a crystal sound that was.

Kulap Vilaysack

I love it too. I love it so much. Thank you.

SuChin Pak

Good, I’m so glad I love all my gifts, you guys, we did it I mean what a fantastic episode we started off not quite sure if Christmas is going to happen and here we are. Marriages have been saved..

SuChin Pak  44:15

That’s right, very amicably you know very easy easy peasy. You guys cheaply.

SuChin Pak 

One thing you’re getting from this episode is you can end your marriage for real cheap. Also before we go that we have got a live show coming up. That’s right January 21 SF sketchfest , Ku and I have signed the dotted line. This could be a you know once in a lifetime opportunity.

Kulap Vilaysack 

We may have no idea guys we have no living in the moment.

SuChin Pak 

Get your tickets. The link is on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod if you’re not following us, what are you doing? but you can get your tickets there. And come see us live. I mean, it’s gonna be so much fun. It’ll be so much fun right?

Kulap Vilaysack 

It’s gonna be so much fun you know, we’re gonna give at least one thing away that I can promise one thing shall be given away even if it is from SuChin’s own suitcase.

SuChin Pak 

Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure. I will be covered in crystals. I will be just every crystal will be hanging from my body. Give that good Juju for our first and maybe only live show. And yeah, we’ve been loving your guys’s voicemails. So, you know, we talked about relationships. Give us some good relationship tips. Do you put your partner in a coffin?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Call us at 833-453-6662 and you know, we’ll be back next week.

SuChin Pak

Bye guys.

Kulap Vilaysack

Merry Christmas.

CREDITS

ADD TO CART is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producer is Claire Jones and our mix is by Ivan Kuraev and Veronica Rodriguez. The music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers are Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Also, please take a moment to rate, review, and subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcast.

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