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Carters, we have a special Friday treat with you. SuChin sits down with Tracy Moore, co-host of the new podcast The Body Collective, presented by Lemonada Media and WeightWatchers. But listen, this is not your grandma’s WeightWatchers. The Body Collective is changing the narrative about weight, turning shame into power. Tracy talks to SuChin about having her body publicly scrutinized as a longtime broadcast journalist. After going through cycles of gaining and losing weight, along with having kids, Tracy began waking up to the rampant fatphobia affecting us all. She shares her journey of learning to love her body just as it is, and invites us into The Body Collective.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Tracy, SuChin Pak

SuChin Pak  00:10

Welcome back to Add To Cart, folks, I’m your auntie SuChin Pak and so very excited for our special guest on this special Friday, extrasode, our guest today is a celebrated Canadian media personality known for her longtime role as host of CityLine, from style trends, recipes to fashion. She has covered it all, and now she’s bringing that charisma to breakfast television. And we’re here today to talk about a new podcast, The Body Collective, which Tracy co hosts. The body Collective is presented by lemonade and Weight Watchers. But listen, Carters, this is not your grandma’s Weight Watchers. They’re doing something really transformative. More on that. Later on the body collective, Tracy and her co hosts will have candid conversations about weight to take everything we’ve learned about shame, unlearn it and transform it into a source of power. Tracy, welcome to add to cart.

 

Tracy  01:06

Thank you so much. I’m happy to be here. I hear all the good things about your podcast, so I’m happy we can chat about the body collective here.

 

SuChin Pak  01:15

Well, ostensibly, our podcast is about shopping, but really it’s about everything else that goes into it. And certainly, Ku and I talk a lot about the way we look at our bodies, where those ideas came from, how they run in the background without ever being double checked. And then suddenly you’re with kids, and you’re in your 40s, and you’re running around and you’re wondering, like, wait, this voice in my head that’s been running.

 

Tracy  01:44

Should I check that?

 

SuChin Pak  01:45

So I’m super excited to get into this and to talk about it in a way that I feel like we’re just beginning to talk about. So let’s talk about your personal journey, how you came to speak publicly about weight and body positivity. But let’s go back to like, as far as you can remember, of like, all right, this is the first time I was like, my body is not my own. It belongs to the public arena.

 

Tracy  02:10

Oh gosh. Well, let’s go way back, because I was not taking in all these bad messages about bodies, I would say, in elementary school and high school, even though I was in predominantly white spaces, and I knew my body looked different from my white girlfriends, I’m also of Jamaican heritage, and growing up in a culture that is so celebrated, we have this big festival every year called Caribana, and you are naked like you’re in bikinis and and sequins.

 

SuChin Pak  02:44

And it’s like in Canada or in Jamaica.

 

Tracy  02:47

In Toronto, Canada, every year. It’s called Caribana. It is a vibe, okay? It is a West Indian festival. It’s a huge parade. A ton of Americans come to Toronto for this carnival every year, and I was born in this carnival, like I was going there in a stroller. My parents were taking me in the stroller. So I grew up with really positive images, because all the bodies are in the bikini. Like 300 pounds, 130 pounds. Everyone’s in the bikini or the bathing suit.

 

SuChin Pak  03:15

By the way, they all fit. All fit in the bathing suit. That’s right?

 

Tracy  03:18

They all, you just put the bathing suit on the body, right? So it doesn’t matter what the body is, you put it on. So I grew up with that. I was cool with my body. In high school, I knew I had big legs. I was a track girl. It was fine. Never stopped my life. It was not an issue. Then I go to university, I’m eating everything in sight. I’m enjoying the crap out of my life, like I had such a good time in university, I was just not fussed about body image and weight. Nothing external was bothering me. Now I graduate from university for my undergrad, and I know that I’m going to probably go into broadcast journalism. That’s what I’m interested in, and immediately there’s like this bifurcation between what I know about my body to be true, which is it’s fine, and what the outside world thinks about my body, which is probably that it’s not going to be okay to be on television. I didn’t have really examples of people who were my size at the time, I was a size 14 on TV, reading the news. Immediately, I said to myself, I’m already a black woman. I’m not going to have my size as a barrier to, you know, getting into this industry. And I immediately, just like laser focused from a 14 to an eight, from an eight to a four, not healthy at all. I mean disordered eating, over training at the gym, all of the things. But I hate to say it, it worked. You know, I got an agent, I got job offers. Everything was aligning when I was at my smallest weight. So I’m doing well. I get poached. By another station, and then I start the whole trajectory of marriage and babies. So baby number one comes around, and of course, I gain the weight and I’m freaking out. And at that time during my maternity leave, I was offered a big show, which is the show you mentioned in my intro, called City line, longest running lifestyle show for women in Canada, huge show beloved, and they asked me to come in and audition. So once again, I’m freaking out about my weight. Bam, lose the weight quickly. My baby was three months old. I started that show when he was six months old, and I lost all the baby weight.

 

SuChin Pak  05:34

Wait, what does that look like? When you say you lost all that baby weight in six months? What are we really talking about?

 

Tracy  05:40

We’re talking about a very strict and disciplined regime of what I’m putting in my body and how I am training. I remember at some point my husband was like, you won’t make a doctor appointment, but you will go to the gym twice a day. Like, this is not healthy. Like, if something is wrong with you, you need to go see a doctor, but you can’t fit the doctor’s office in because you have to go for your second workout. So he just kind of watched me be crazy and talk me out of it. But it’s like, no, I got I got goals, I got a plan. Okay, so I get the show, I start the show, everything’s going, okay. Then I get pregnant again, gain a ton of weight. Because, of course, when you’re restricting yourself like that, I mean, all of a sudden I have the excuse to eat for two, I’m eating for five, and then panicked again, lost that weight, and then the pandemic happens. Huge weight gain because I’m at home. We’re all at home. We’re drinking way more than we usually do. We’re making fresh loaves of bread every day. No one is seeing us outside of a jogging suit. Who cares? And I’m also not going to the gym because that’s shut down. Get back on air, lose that weight. Are you seeing the are you seeing like the cycle here and then smash perimenopause comes and slaps me across the face. And what is interesting about this journey is that if you Google Tracy Moore city line in Canada right now, one of the top search engines are going to be it’s going to be Tracy Moore, salary, Tracy Moore, husband, Tracy Moore, weight gain. I came to understand how much ownership people took over my body because I was getting bombarded with messages. I was getting people asking, what happened? What are you doing? What’s wrong with you? You need to fix this. I had everything from people trying to be helpful, thinking I needed their help and advice, to people being downright rude and trolling my page, to people saying things like this, can I read you a viewer comment I got please. So this viewer is a man. He He wrote this to me, and it said, I used to think you were, you were a rising star and you were a good person, a good person. Hang on to that part. He says, now when I see you on TV, how disrespectful and unappreciative Are you of the opportunity you were given smarten up or get off television as like it or not, you influence young girls. What you have done to yourself is not okay whatsoever. Very unfair, and please, for God’s sake, look after yourself. No sugar, pasta, ice cream, bread or anything else detrimental, until you get back to your healthy self. Be well, Tracy, as you are a good person

 

SuChin Pak  06:11

And wait. Hold on.

 

Tracy  07:03

Pause for Michael.

 

SuChin Pak  08:42

I’m like, sweating from pores that I did not even know exist. I don’t know if I’m angry, I don’t know if I’m scared, I don’t know if I want to cry, I don’t know if I want to scream. That was one effing hell of a comment, like he just summed up the entire generally female experience, whether you’re in front of the camera or behind a cash register or at home minding your own business, that is what we’re talking about. Because as you talk about your getting into work, losing the weight, blah, yeah, when you summarize it like that, in some ways, you’re like, wow, she’s amazing. But as a woman, I know I’m like, that sounds so incredibly stressful, like, I can’t even imagine, like every waking conscious moment is focused on this one topic that is being judged by other people. It’s not even an internal voice. I mean, we’ve internalized it, right?

 

Tracy  09:52

Absolutely.

 

SuChin Pak  09:53

And so your life is run by the Michaels.

 

Tracy  09:56

It’s run by them to a certain extent, and there’s. Such a powerlessness in that, but also me starting to unpack because even though I’ve had these two voices, of course, as you said, some of it gets internalized, and it’s almost like this internal fight between but no, I think I’m good, yeah, and them saying, No, you’re not good, because you’ve changed. That’s not how you looked 16 years ago when you started hosting the show so you failed. What’s wrong with you? And then also this whole idea of being bad person equals overweight, equals slovenly, good person equals discipline, equals thin. You know, like all of these, all of these things that need to be unpacked and really studied, and I’ve been studying them internally while also fighting myself. So I feel like I’ve been doing this work for so many years, and now I look at what the viewers give me as almost case studies, like I’m trying to distance myself from them, because it really is about their baggage, not mine, and and that’s why I think it’s important that we have these conversations, because let’s actually just break down where how we came up with fat being bad person and skinny being good person. What is that all about? So that’s been my journey. It’s been it’s been a lot, but I could literally talk about it all day, because I’m fascinated by it. I’m fascinated by the constructs that we’ve just taken on and never thought to question, and how we all operate in it. I feel so bad for us, because this is the world that we’re in, and we have to constantly fight it.

 

SuChin Pak  11:44

You don’t know by looking at someone what that struggle is, because whether that person seems overweight to you or not, I mean, I’m just naturally a thin person, but you can never be thin enough, right, especially if you’re on camera. Camera that’s 30 pounds. Can we stop saying that? Because you have no idea how you internalize that, especially when we both come from the experience of being in broadcast, and then you get off and again, it doesn’t matter what the scale says, you’re like, it’s all in my face. That was my thing. It was like, Oh, your face. It’s so bloated that was like the way that I would control the weight, the not eating the you know, I want to quickly, just out of curiosity, because I think it’s very interesting that you grew up with a very healthy background of body image, and I think that that’s probably one of the reasons why you can look at this in with some distance. But do you remember when you started working in this business? Like, was it a person, or was it you that was making this judgment? Because I think it’s really interesting and very honest when you say and it worked.

 

Tracy  12:55

it was more a matter of me taking I’m very observant, and if I took stock of my environment. There was no one that was not thin in it. There was barely anyone who was not white in it. So I’m like all already, you know, I didn’t tell this part of the story, but I had already, as soon as I got the job to host this big show, they asked me immediately to change my hair. My hair looked ethnically black, and they were on me for a year to change my hair. So I’m already as thin as I could possibly be, but I’ve got black skin and I’ve got black hair, so these are already issues. So I’m not pushing the envelope when it comes to like gaining thigh like they can’t I’m not gonna handle that. They wouldn’t know what to do. So now they do know what to do with it, because we’re getting more representation. Definitely in television, we have plus size people in front of the camera now. So it’s happening. It’s still talked about, so it’s obviously still rare enough to be a point of conversation, but it’s happening, and I think that I’ve gained a lot of people who have been very happy that I stand in this space while 200 pounds and do the same show I did while I was 130 and the show has only gotten better. It’s like my body has not affected the integrity of the show, and I can stand in it now and be okay. And I just wanted to say one thing about the camera putting on weight. My show was with a live audience. Can you imagine 70 people every day seeing me in person? The first thing they said to me, you’re so much bigger on camera. You’re so you’re so smaller in real life, oh my gosh, the camera doesn’t do you justice 15 to 20 times a day. So it’s like having distance from thatit’s work.

 

SuChin Pak  14:52

I just, I’m sorry, you’re just taking me back. We probably came up around the same time. When you just didn’t have this kind of language, I can so relate. Like, I worked, you know, at MTV, where I was the only female in the newsroom. And boy, were fittings very interesting. I was like, so let me just get you guys have no fittings. I’ve got 40 fittings. Everyone gets to take a picture of what I’m wearing. That Polaroid is passed around a bunch of guys in suits, you’re like.

 

Tracy  15:27

Yeah, well, I’m the girl. This is the way it works.

 

SuChin Pak  15:31

That’s how it works. I mean, dresses are more complicated. Makeup is more you know, yeah, it’s really interesting. Like, when you wake up from that? When did you wake up from that?

 

Tracy  15:42

I feel like, post pandemic, there was, there was almost like a big culture shift. You know, we were dealing with Black Lives Matter really coming to the forefront. And then everything else sort of started to, like vomit out, like fat phobia and our ties to, like weight and supremacy and what capitalism and what all these things meant, and I felt that I was fighting so hard for a lot of racial equality that it opened my eyes to the fact that I actually need to fight for the full, full shebang, I know, because all of the things are part of my identity. I am a woman, I am black, all the privilege I have, and all the barriers I have, and all of it together, what does it equal? And so I just kind of after that moment, like stood in it like this is who I am. Maybe I’ll change some things if I get a bad blood test back that I’m not happy with, but I’m basing it on health now, like it’s going to be about health.

 

SuChin Pak  16:48

I mean, I love that. That is the kind of reckoning and real awakening a lot of us go through is, is that whatever that issue is that you’ve been struggling with, you realize it’s rooted and connected to the whole self. You know you can’t stand in your truth and not stand in all of the truth. And then as we wake up a little bit, we start to realize that other things in your life are so much connected to how you’re going to show up in that space. Because how can you show up as as as as a parent, if you’re not going to show up for yourself and advocate for yourself as a woman, as a woman of color, as a you know, all of these things, so and so, let’s talk about what this has kind of opened up for you, this body collective podcast I love that you you get to really get into it. What are some of the things you and your co host really want to uncover in this show.

 

Tracy  17:43

I have to admit, full disclosure, my lifestyle show was part of the problem. I mean, we used to have a weight loss challenge that was the most popular thing on the show, and it involved women standing on scales and a live audience clapping for their numbers like just like the biggest loser and all the shows on TV, it was in it was normal, you know, now being able to be in a situation where we can unpack a few things like that shame episode, I believe that was the one, the first episode we shot, and oh my goodness, like we were going all the way back to things our parents had said and things our teachers had said. And, you know, remembering that my mom once said that my sister and I had a leg problem, it’s like, we don’t have a leg problem. We have thighs. Like, that’s not a problem. That’s just the way our bodies are built. And if we’re looking at health, what is health? We did a whole episode on health. Can you be fat and fit. I can squat 200 pounds, one rep max. I can deadlift 215 pounds. I have gone through blood tests and checked all of my levels. My cholesterol is normal. Everything is normal for me. I am thriving. Does this mean, because I’m in the two hundreds, that I am not healthy, my doctor would say, No, that’s erroneous. She is healthy, and 200 pounds, I’m really happy to be part of a movement where Weight Watchers had has made this sort of very radical and pivotal shift from just weight loss to health, dealing with genetic issues that might make our body naturally have a set at 185 pounds, whereas the world is telling you to be 120 it sort of lets us off the hook a little bit for having this complete fixation on trying to be thin and lean. And I really do think not only women, all of us need to be able to understand how we can get the goal of health without punishing ourself and without blaming ourselves. And that is essentially what we try to do in each episode of this podcast, the body collective podcast, we also talk about love and relationships. Yeah, that was probably my favorite episode that we were able to record, because we talked about the shame that people carry for maybe dating or loving someone who’s fat, and how to deal with that in society, and why that’s even an issue. They’re calling it mixed weight relationships now.

 

SuChin Pak  20:17

What?

 

Tracy  20:18

Yes, relationships.

 

SuChin Pak  20:22

I wish someone would say that in front of my face that is right, mixed weight, relaxed.

 

Tracy  20:29

Relationships, so one of you is maybe, like traditionally thin, one of you is overweight, or plus size or and it’s a thing and, and sadly, I’d love to say it’s not a thing, but it is a thing because, you know, we spoke to one person who was very much keeping his overweight lover on the down low, like did not want to have to deal with that kind of scrutiny. So really good conversations that I think people are going to be able to dig into.

 

SuChin Pak  21:13

You briefly touched on this partnership with Weight Watchers, and that’s how this podcast came to be. And for a lot of people listening, they’re going to be like, huh, you’re going to have to explain that to me. Let’s walk that back a bit, because this is sort of a new era, like we’re not talking about it in the way that our grandmothers and our mothers talked about it. We’re forming the conversation.

 

Tracy  21:40

Now, there was a big kickoff. You can actually still see the episode. It’s called making the shift, and it’s on YouTube, and it was moderated by Oprah Winfrey. And I was so happy to be involved in this conversation, and that’s where I met my body collective co host, and we fell fast and hard in love with each other that day, but in that episode, it was three hours. Listen, most of us have the attention span of a flea a mosquito, like in and out. I don’t even want to watch a three hour movie anymore. I thought, oh my gosh, I’m gonna have to get up. I’m gonna have to use the facilities, like I’m gonna have to pee. I’m perimenopausal. I did not move. I was captivated, because that initial conversation, it looked at inequality. It looked at judgment when it comes to GLP ones, weight loss drugs, it looked at shame. And the biggest message I got from that kickoff was, this is a conversation for grown people. And the reason why Oprah Winfrey was calling it for grown people is because every layer of this conversation is teeming with nuance, and I decide that I’m very comfortable being 200 pounds, and someone else decides that they need to lose 60 pounds, and every single person is right? Yeah, we need to be able to be in this space together and all have our way of getting to our best health without judging. And that was the main message I got from that. So that’s where we started it. That’s where we kicked it off. And I think that we need to applaud corporations and companies that say, you know, we can do this differently. We can look at how the conversation has evolved, and we can help push that further along. I’m not into canceling. I like saying, Okay, we know better. Let’s do better. And I give anyone props for that. Yeah, so it was a beautiful thing to be a part of that, and being part of the body Collective is just us doing the work and having this conversation so that people can feel a little bit good about it on their search for health.

 

SuChin Pak  23:56

Wow, I’m so glad that you explained that relationship, because I think that that we’re all learning in these spaces.

 

Tracy  24:04

Totally bringing it back around to the man with the comment. I think there are so many more people that are inspired by me sitting on my set proudly with a roll or two and being very strong and confident with who I am than ever before, and I think that that’s a statement in itself.

 

SuChin Pak  24:25

Hope is a word that we toss around very lightly, but like that is exciting as we wrap up, I want to talk about knowing what you know now and having that lived experience, and then being able to articulate it in this way with this podcast, really diving into it, if you could go back to that person that you were starting in this whole journey, what do you wish you knew then, that you know now? Or what is something that you wish some. One would have told you then that could have changed the trajectory, at least internally. You know, started that conversation earlier.

 

Tracy  25:09

I learned being in front of people in increments that the more I am myself, the more people attach. And it’s not because they agree with who I am. It’s because they see me being authentically myself, and I’m giving them permission to be authentically themselves. So I’m on a lifestyle show. We’ve got to cook eventually. I was like, by the way, I don’t cook, I don’t like it. I’m bad at it. My husband does all the cooking. Okay? I do the kids lunch the day before, and they’re all used to brown apples because mommy makes the lunch the night before. I just it was radical honesty. And the more honest I was, they weren’t like, she is a trash human being and mother. They were like, Okay, if that works for her and she’s giving us her honest self, maybe I can start giving my honest self to people as well, and they will still like me, and they will not throw me out and wait and race and my hair and all of the things are attached to that. If I had known right off the bat in the beginning of my career, that the more I lean into myself, yes, the more the journey will, you know, not be easier for me, but at least I will have a baseline, and I will feel okay with being myself. If I’d known that earlier, I’d probably be like less Growing Pains along the way. And listen, I don’t want anyone to think that I’m cured, and I have all the answers, and I’ve solved it all. I’m still learning and I’m still taking in new information, and I’m still growing and evolving, right? Like we all are.

 

SuChin Pak  26:48

Yeah, I mean, we’re both perimenopause journey that neither I mean, I don’t know what is coming around the corner. I just know where I met today. So it’s, it’s ever evolving our relationships to our bodies and our relationships to ourselves and and every time I think that you learn okay, how to deal with that in from a position of strength, everything else just kind of builds on that absolutely we talk about being true to ourselves. So what does that mean externally? Like? How does that pay off as well for everyone around us. So, yeah, I mean, I’m excited. I’m excited for you guys. I’m excited for everyone to hear this podcast. I’m excited for you to really be able to, like, sit in more truth, like, I just want more, more. Tracey isms, all right, she doesn’t cook. All right, that’s fine. I also hate cooking. I love it.

 

Tracy  27:39

Yeah, I really don’t like and you know what? I realized I did not even mention my co host names like holy narcissist. So it’s Katie Torino, Ashley Longshore and Hunter McGrady. These are women that like, we need to have a slumber party. We can talk forever. We’re very vulnerable and very open and very honest. I mean, the stuff that comes out of our mouths, I don’t know.

 

SuChin Pak  28:05

About women, you get in a room together, the more the universe shifts as well. I’m saying we’re gonna get major shifts. Thank you, Tracy, for getting into it, for being so open and honest. I knew I was like, I’m so excited for this yes. The other day when I was texting the team, I was like, guys, these questions are just here, but I know we’re not even going to get to half of them, because we’re just going to go off. So thank you so much. We are so very excited to have Weight Watchers as a partner of this show, with Weight Watchers clinically proven points program access to weight loss medications for those who qualify, as well as doctor and dietician support Weight Watchers as something to fit your weight loss needs. In today’s world, it’s more important than ever to find a weight loss program that works for you, find a solution that fits you at weightwatchers.com. Thank you so much, Tracy.

 

Tracy  29:02

Thank you. I had a great time. I’ll be listening to your episodes as well.

 

SuChin Pak  29:07

Great, I know we gotta get we gotta do the Slumber Party.

 

Tracy  29:10

Let’s do it. Oh, there’s gonna be snacks.

 

SuChin Pak  29:15

I’m there, Snacky Su is my middle name.

 

CREDITS  29:23

There’s more Add To Cart with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content, like where we tell you about the last item we bought or returned and why subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Add To Cart is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producers are Kegan Zema and Tiffany Bouy. Brian Castillo is our engineer. Theme music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers or Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer, and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.