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STORIES
“The Pearl Dress”: Lupita tells the story of an Oscars controversy that places her at the center of a media circus.

Original score by Lauryn Newson, with additional music from Niecy Blues.

“The Lost Tome”: Ayanawo, an Ethiopian-Israeli living near Tel Aviv, receives an urgent call about a mysterious book.

Ayanawo Ferada Senebato, thank you for bringing your story to Mind Your Own.

Transcript

EP 6: CHAIN OF POSSESSION

Lupita: So, I’ve been living my life in the public eye for a while now. 

Hollywood can be a complicated place. It’s like being in a fishbowl. Everyone can see exactly what’s going on for you. Or, at least, they think they can. 

I’m Lupita Nyong’o, and this is Mind Your Own.

[Mind Your Own theme]

Lupita: The very first time I attended the Academy Awards was in 2014. I had been nominated for my first film, and the unimaginable happened.

Presenter: And the Oscar goes to Lupita Nyong’o.

[crowd cheers] 

Lupita: I couldn’t believe it. 

My life changed exponentially in the following year. I was still adjusting to my new spending power. I remember my business manager saying, “Lupita, you can take taxis.” 

The year had also come with a lot of expectation. What will become of me now?

Being an African black woman in a – dark woman, in an industry that has been known to ignore, neglect, overlook such people, I had been extremely nervous and worried about what the future would hold. 

I attended the Oscars a second time the following year. I found myself moving differently with all that life experience, but also moving differently because of what I had chosen to wear. 

At my first Academy Awards, I was basically gliding along like a cloud in a gorgeous pale blue custom made gown, with like 40 meters of chiffon fabric, so light. This time, I was moving like a boulder [laughs] through the event.

I was being dressed by Calvin Klein, and they made me a custom dress made of 6,000 pearls. It was elegant and heavy. 26 pounds, it weighed. It was so heavy that I spent most of the event seated, unlike the last time when I was like flittering around saying hello to everyone. I went to the parties until the wee hours of the morning, and I came back and went to sleep. 

The dress was extremely popular. It made a whole lot of best dressed lists, and everybody was talking about it. A news report came up. My dress cost $150,000 and was made of these real pearls. Akoya pearls, they called them. And so, this news was spreading about how expensive this dress was.

And I read the news and I was like, “Oh.” First of all, I don’t know. I didn’t pay for the dress. I was like, “Oh, that’s interesting.” I mean – $150,000 I was wearing? But look, we do extravagant things at these events. We wear extravagant things especially. So, anyway, I brushed it off, I laughed about it, whatever. I kept it moving.

My Oscars dress was borrowed, and the norm is for people to return whatever they borrow the day after the ceremony. But since I had back-to-back work commitments, I asked my stylist if we could arrange a pickup another day.

So, this happened on day one, Monday, day two, Tuesday. Day three, Wednesday. I finish my photo shoot and finally synchronize watches with my stylist’s assistant. And so, we decide, meet me at the hotel, you can grab the dress. And we can move on with our lives. 

So, I get to the hotel, she’s packing up the other things that I had, she’s like, “Okay, everything’s done. All I need is the dress.” And I say, “Yeah, it’s right there-” I look at the rack, it is empty. 

And I’m like, “Wait, it was right there.” She’s like, “Really? No, there was nothing there.” “No, no, no. The dress was hanging right there.” “Are you sure?” I’m like, “Yes, it was right there.” She’s like, “Maybe, you put it in the closet?” I go, I open the closet. Empty. I open the next closet. Empty. I’m like, “What is going on?” I’m like, “Can you check your bags?” She’s like, “Lupita, I’m pretty sure I’d know if I packed 6,000 pearls.” I’m like, “Yeah, I know, but the dress was here.” Now, I’m looking in ridiculous places like underwear drawers because I’m just like where could this dress be? I’m beside myself. I have no explanation for this, and I say, “I think my dress was stolen.”

I’m feeling proper violated. Someone had come into my private space and taken something from me. Just, it feels awful. I didn’t know what the consequences would be, because I was still very new in Hollywood. I’m still very much a guest. What if I have to pay for it? I’m still trying to reconcile the fact that I can pay my rent every month without worrying. And now you’ve taken a dress that potentially costs $150,000. Oh, my God, I was still– [laughs] I hadn’t – no. No. 

And so, I’m beating myself up because I was like, “If I had just given the dress back, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” And now I’ve lost it. I’ve lost it. 

So, I call my lawyer. She says to me, “Lupita, this is a matter that will eventually need to go to the cops, but you also need to speak to management.” So, my lawyer shows up, hotel management comes, and the first line of action is: check who got into the room. They come back with the wonderful news that, of course, the CCTV camera outside my room wasn’t working, and they have recorded four entries into my room, but they cannot tell who entered the room. So, at this juncture, the cops must get involved. 

The cops show up. I google myself to show her this gown. I show her the gown. Now, her and her partner are like, “Oh, my God. That’s so beautiful. Oh, my God. Can you see those–?” And they’re talking about [laughs] that dress and I’m standing there being like, “What is happening?” 

So, then they collect themselves and get back to the business at hand. They let me know that ultimately, because it wasn’t my property and it belonged to Calvin Klein, I was not liable. And then, the cops say to me, “Listen, ma’am, we’ll find the dress and don’t worry. You got the press.” 

What? It’s just… that rhyme. Why are you trying to reassure me about the fact that I got the press on the dress? I was in a lot of confusion. It weirded me out. But like clockwork, I woke up and it was everywhere. 

Reporter 1: –and now to actress Lupita Nyong’o. She stole the show on the Oscars red carpet, but now that dress has been stolen.

Reporter 2: What would a thief want with a one-of-a-kind dress? It’s likely they’d rip the dress apart and sell the individual pearls on the black market. 

Lupita: CNN, BBC, you name it. The phones were ringing off the hook. And it felt almost like I was being consumed in this way when I just really wanted to be as tiny as possible. And at one point, my publicist was just like, “You know, just ignore it. Just put off your phone.” I land back in New York. I get a text from my publicist saying, “Check TMZ.”

TMZ has reported that the dress has been found in a black garbage bag in one of the public restrooms at the hotel. And how does TMZ know? 

TMZ Reporter: The thief called us here in the newsroom.

TMZ Host: He called you guys? 

TMZ Reporter: Yep, the guy who stole Lupita’s pearl Oscar dress out of her hotel room called us! 

Lupita: This man had stolen my dress by using a housekeeping cart to get into my room. And when TMZ asked this person why he was letting them know, he said, “Because I want to show Hollywood’s bullshit.” The idea that Hollywood is not what it purports to be. 

I mean – I think that there is an illusion of value that we’re all buying into when we’re sitting there attending and viewing the Academy Awards. It’s selling a dream for a night. It’s a performance. 

That man stole the dress to make money. He went down to the garment district to get it evaluated, and he found out that the pearls were not real. 

Hollywood really does sell dreams.

[music]

Lupita: We’ll be back in a quick second. Stay tuned. 

Welcome back. You’re listening to Mind Your Own. 

So, I’ve never told that story publicly before. Up until this juncture, it’s just been like cocktail banter. Ah, but now it’s out and it feels good, I have to say. And also, just like thinking about it, what an ordeal that was. 

It feels terrible to have something taken from you, especially when it’s not yours exclusively, when you’ve been entrusted with its care. There is a sense of duty that just says you have to get it back no matter what. 

So, today on Mind Your Own, we’re going to Jaffa, where we’re going to meet a man who had just that experience. 

I hope you’re listening.

[music]

Lupita: It’s 2022, January. In a three-bedroom home outside of Jaffa near Tel Aviv, Ayanawo is getting ready for the day. His two kids are running around going crazy, when his phone rings. It’s his aunt. This time, she skips the small talk. She has a request.

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo [English Voiceover]: It was as commandment. It wasn’t request. She said, “Listen, I’m not sure how much longer I will be here. You have to fulfill my dream.”

Lupita: Now, Ayanawo’s aunt’s dream is not to see her grandkids get married or make sure that she’s buried in the Ethiopian village where she was born. No, her dream is bigger than that, and also smaller. It’s about a book. 

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: Every family gathering the book would be talked about. It is like a part of them was left behind. 

Lupita: Ayanawo has never seen this book, but he has heard about it from his family. Whenever they gather for weddings and bar mitzvahs, it’s like the book is a missing family member. 

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: They didn’t talk about the village they left behind, their friends, the flocks. They talked about the book. 

Lupita: The village they left behind was in Ethiopia, a Jewish village set apart, basically full of Ayanawo’s extended family. 

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: This book was passed down through the generation in our family.

Lupita: But then, this chain was broken and the book was lost. After years of fear and persecution for being Jewish, the family left Ethiopia when Ayanawo was only eight. 

In the middle of the night, they slipped out of their village and boarded a secret plane, part of an Israeli government airlift that brought thousands of Ethiopian Jews to Israel. They couldn’t take much of anything with them, so they left the book behind. 

Ayanawo’s aunt wants Ayanawo to go back to Ethiopia to find the book and bring it home. 

Ayanawo: And she said, “I trust you. I know you can do it. You are the one who will do it. This is your mission. You must get the book back.” 

[Hebrew language]

Lupita: But this isn’t an easy task. Ethiopia is in political turmoil as they speak, and even in the most peaceful times, you can’t just slip out of the country with a historical artifact. 

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: It was a real dilemma. It was like a conflict inside myself, because on the one hand, I felt that I have to do this. I couldn’t live with the thought that I wouldn’t fulfill her dreams. 

[Hebrew language]

But on the other hand, I have children, I have a wife, I have a mother.

Lupita: If the mission goes wrong, he could end up in an Ethiopian jail. But he knows this isn’t just for his aunt. It’s bigger than that. 

Ever since they arrived in Israel, they’ve been told, in big ways and in small ways, that they don’t belong.

Ayanawo: I can tell you there is no greater humiliation after the Jewish in Ethiopia fought and really risked their lives in order to return their faith, all of a sudden, to come here and to be told that your identity as a Jew is not the way you see it? I can trace my lineage back to several Gideonite kings. All of a sudden, we come to Israel, and we are told we need to be re-circumcised, people who were already circumcised at eight days old? People were in shock, total shock. It felt like the rabbinical establishment was trying to break us.

In Ethiopia, we were Jews. And in Israel, we become Ethiopians. It was really, really difficult. And yeah, it still is. 

I just said, “That’s it.” I told to my aunt, “I’m going.” So, I just put the thoughts of danger aside, and I focused on what I wanted to achieve, which is getting the book.

Lupita: Now, there is a small complication that at this point, nobody actually knows where the book is or even who has it. Nobody in the family has seen it since they packed up and left in the middle of the night, all those years ago.

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: When we left Ethiopia, my uncle went to a friend of his and said, “Please take care of this book. Could you look after it?” And the friend said, “Yes.”

Lupita: This friend was in the Christian village nearby, but this friend has since died and that was when the family officially lost track of the book. They tried to find it. Cousins called around hunting for it, but no trace.

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: And what I did was I started to investigate. Every night, I would call Ethiopia.

Lupita: The family still had some roots, contacts. Ayanawo’s in Israel, but he’s got a man on the ground in Ethiopia, a man he’s worked with in the past. Let’s call him Solomon. And Solomon starts reaching out to people connected to the last sighting of the book.

[music and Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: So, the person I sent took those people out on the town. You eat, you drink. Tongues loosen up, information leaks. 

[Hebrew language]

Lupita: Don’t go anywhere. More Mind Your Own after this quick break.

You’re listening to Mind Your Own. Let’s get back into it. 

Solomon is calling Ayanawo day and night with updates. So, Ayanawo says goodbye to his wife and kids, takes leave from work, and goes to Ethiopia, hoping he can bring the book home. And once he’s in Addis Ababa, he gets a lead. There’s a rumor that the book might be in the hands of the local priest.

[playful music]

Ayanawo: This priest did all sorts of things that are connected to astrology. So, I told my guider, “Go to him, ask for his services. ‘Can you read my fortune? Can you read my stars? Can you tell me what my fate is?'” So, he went to him three separate times. 

Lupita: Solomon is playing it cool, because if the priest knows how valuable the book is, he might want to hold onto it. So, on his third astrology reading, he casually brings up his friend, Ayanawo, who used to live nearby. 

Ayanawo: He told him about my family. Eventually, they got to the subject of the book.

Lupita: The book was written in the ancient language of Geʽez, the language of their ancestors. [Religious chanting] The pages include the book of Psalms from the Old Testament of the Bible with handwritten scripts added over the years.

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: The priest said he has the book. 

Lupita: And as clever as Solomon has been, the priest is starting to catch on.

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: He knew that he had a really important historical treasure on his hands. He said, “There is no price I can put on it.”

Lupita: Isn’t that the starting point of all negotiations? So, Solomon and the priest get down to it. 

Ayanawo: He kept saying, “No, I’m not prepared to sell.” But then, he would say, “Yes, okay.” And then, he kept going back on it. “It’s in the church. I will go and get it.” And then he didn’t. As the days went by, I thought more and more. [Hebrew language] “Why not just be nice and decent and hand it back?” We felt that the guy was just stringing us along for ages. I had sort of given up hope, a little bit. But then, we had a stroke of luck. Actually, a miracle. 

Lupita: Well, a miracle for some. The priest has a son, and that son makes a horrible mistake. He shoots someone. Now, luckily, that person survived.

Ayanawo: So, first of all, I was glad that he didn’t kill anyone. I am a human being, but I also recognized that this was an opportunity that I could use in order to achieve my goal. 

Lupita: The elders of the village were ready to deal with the shooting themselves, but then the police stepped in. They told the priest, “Look, we are handling this. You have to turn in your son.”

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: “Either return your son or we will arrest you.” So, the priest himself got arrested.

Lupita: Word gets back to Ayanawo in Addis Ababa that the priest is sitting in the village jail, and he needs to post bail to get out with money that he does not have.

Ayanawo: I gave a message to this priest that I was willing to pay bail if the next day, first thing in the morning, I get a car and it’s sent to the church to pick up the book. And he agrees. He says, “Yes, $1,200 bail.”

Lupita: It’s a deal. The bail is paid, the priest gets out of jail, and he tells Solomon where he can go to find the book.

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: It was in a church. We had to hire a car and then go on the motorbike, because there wasn’t even room for a car to get in there.

Lupita: And as Solomon is getting the book, Ayanawo is en route to meet him.

Ayanawo: I took a flight from Addis Ababa at 10 o’clock in the morning. Solomon was heading towards me from his village in taxi. Meanwhile, I am setting out from the airport in another taxi to meet him, and I met him halfway. 

[Hebrew language]

Lupita: Solomon and Ayanawo, both pull off to the side of the road. They are on the highway in the middle of nowhere with nothing but rocks and dirt around them. Ayanawo gets out of his taxi and Solomon gets out of his. And there is the book.

For the first time in his life, Ayanawo sees it. An ancient leather cover nearly crumbling to dust in spots. He’s almost afraid to touch it, but he does, carefully. It’s heavy in his hands. There’s that old book smell. Parchment pages that look like they’re burned around the edges are separating from the binding. The holy prayers, handwritten in Ge’ez in black ink. And he can see the Amharic handwriting in the margins, the names of his ancestors. 

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: I felt that I was holding in my hands, the whole history of my entire dynasty, the whole history of my family in my hand. And my body was shaking. I don’t know how to describe it. It was just — there was so much excitement. There were tears pouring down my face. 

Lupita: On the side of that road, in the middle of nowhere, he pulls out a cell phone to record this moment. 

[Amharic language]

Ayanawo: My beloved brother, this makes me proud, and God is a Maker of miracles. Thanks to God, I have received this favor, and I hope to one day be able to repay this. 

Lupita: Ayanawo knows he can trace his family all the way back to the Gideonites, the Jewish kingdom said to have ruled Ethiopia over a thousand years ago. But while he’s heard the stories of his ancestors, they just felt like stories. But now–

Ayanawo: I was so excited to hold the book. It was actually even hard for me to open it or look at it. I had brought from Israel in advance an Israeli flag, because I wanted to mark the fact that I am retrieving the book and bringing it back to us.

Lupita: And then, Ayanawo takes the Israeli flag and carefully wraps the book like a Torah scroll, and he sends the video home to his family.

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: The family WhatsApp was just exploding with their joy. They sent back voice messages, and you could hear that they were just choked up with tears. They were so excited. 

Lupita: By the time his flight lands in Addis, Ayanawo’s cousins have shared the news with aunts. Aunts have shared the news with more cousins. It’s gone viral. Nobody is keeping this a secret. 

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: That was the moment that I felt that I made a really, really dangerous mistake, because we were so eager to spread the news and to share the happiness. 

And then, I said to myself, “Wait a minute, we have a treasure in our hands. The authorities know me. They know who I am, so maybe they won’t let me leave the country with the book.” I was so worried that something might happen, that someone might take it from me. 

Lupita: Ayanawo still had seven days in Addis before his flight back home.

Ayanawo: And that whole time, my job was just to guard the book. I didn’t leave the hotel room. I kept changing where the book was. I didn’t sleep at night. The only time I actually opened the book was when we took those first photos and videos to send them to the family. I felt that it was too holy to touch. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Time, oh, time just did not go by. Time did not move. 

Lupita: Ayanawo is not just worried about a thief stealing the book. He’s also worried about the government saying it’s not Ayanawo’s book to begin with. He’s worried they’ll say it’s theirs. 

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: The law in Ethiopia says that you are not allowed to remove certain antiques and cultural artifacts. You are not allowed to leave the country with them. So, I kept wondering, “What am I going to do?” 

Lupita: When the priest got out of jail, he signed a paper saying, yeah, the book was in his custody, but it always belonged to Ayanawo’s family. This gives the family a legitimate claim to the book and also protects the priest. But Ayanawo would really rather not have it come to that.

Ayanawo: In Ethiopia, every official and every bureaucrat has the power to decide what he wants. I didn’t know if I could be arrested or put in prison, but the book could be confiscated from me, and I could be denied further entry to Ethiopia. So, we put it in the suitcase, but in a way that the X-ray machines would not identify it. We wrapped it up, we put books next to it, books of different sizes, we put some clothes on top of it.

Lupita: They drive to the airport, and Ayanawo is wondering, “Is this going to work?” But he takes a deep breath, picks up his luggage and heads in. 

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: I reach the X-ray machine. I have two suitcases with me. All of a sudden, the guy says, “You, you got to open your suitcase and take everything out.” 

And then, it turns out that he’s pointing to the other suitcase in which I just had some random stuff that people asked me to bring, some bracelets and all sort of things. I opened it up, he looked at the bracelets, and everything was okay. 

[Hebrew language]

All of a sudden, I was like a different person. I could relax. I was exhilarated. So, I went to the duty free and ordered this Ethiopian coffee, and was so happy celebrating that I almost missed the flight. The plane actually started taxiing already, so I had to run to the plane. 

I kept thinking, someone’s gonna stop us. Someone’s gonna board the plane.

The actual moment of liftoff was amazing.

Lupita: And they’re on their way home with the book.

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: So, we go back to Israel, and we went to my aunt’s. It was a real festival. The whole family was there, grandkids, great grandkids. We come in, my cousin and me, bearing the book, sort of raised above our heads. And everyone was dancing and happy all around us. I just – I can’t even describe what I felt. I just was on a complete high. And my aunt, who was unwell, it was as if she was healthy again. She was just happy and thrilled in that moment. She said, “Wow, I feel like you brought my father back to me.”

[Hebrew language]

The Jewish people are the people of the book, right? So, it’s the same thing about this book. This book actually is the story of the whole Ethiopian-Jewish community, and the story of the Jewish people. 

Lupita: Ayanawo is working on getting the book restored. He’s also connecting with museums. But for now, it’s in his house. And sometimes, after going to the ritual bath to purify himself, he takes the book down and he opens it.

[Hebrew language]

Ayanawo: You know, we didn’t bring millions in the bank. What we brought is our cultural heritage. The Ethiopian community in Israel, they’re looked at as people who don’t have anything, but actually, they have this treasure. 

[music]

Lupita: When I hear Ayanawo’s story, I think about my own family, and the objects that are important to us.

My grandmother had organic maize that she had been growing for decades. For the longest time, she would harvest the maize, and save some of the kernels to replant and grow. It’s all colors. Some of them are deep, almost black, and then there’s purple and red and orange and white and yellow. They’re so beautiful. And so, when you plant them, you have no idea what color the maize will come – ah, it’s so cool. So, so cool.

Those kernels are precious, because you can’t find that maize anymore. Genetically modified corn is taking the place of this kind of organic maize. It does not reproduce, so you have to keep buying the seed. So, ours is our wealth. 

But the value of a family object has to be shared by the family. So, I hope someone still has some of those kernels. 

Ayanawo Ferada Senebato, thank you for bringing your story to Mind Your Own. These days, Ayanawo is planning the restoration of his family’s book and intends to write one of his own. For more on his latest projects, please check out our show notes.

Thanks for listening. It’s been really good to have you. I enjoyed going with you to a hotel in Addis Ababa. Our mission was almost complete. The book of our family’s history was finally on the table in front of us. We laid our hands on the worn cover and could feel the centuries of love and lore under our fingertips. 

See you the next time you Mind Your Own. 

Until then, here’s a song from the continent: Small Paradise by Somadina. 

[Small Paradise by Somadina]

Lupita: Mind Your Own is hosted and produced by me, Lupita Nyong’o. This is a production of Snap Studios at KQED, with sales and distribution by Lemonada Media.

The executive producers are Glynn Washington and Mark Ristich. Our managing editor is Regina Bediako. Our director of production is Marisa Dodge.

Original music in my story, “The Pearl Dress,” was by Lauryn Newson, with additional sounds from Niecy Blues. The story “The Lost Tome” was produced by Deena Prichep with assistance from David Exumé. Original music by Parker Halliwell Jr., also known as Dakim. Translation by Michelle Bubis and Menty Kebede. Voiceover by Shai Ferdo. Additional thanks to Ahmad Qari, Professor Don Seeman, Shaina Shealy, and Yochai Maital. 

Our Mind Your Own producers are David Exumé and Priscilla Alabi. Our story scouts are Ashley Okwuosa, Fiona Nyong’o, Jessica Kariisa, and Lesedi Oluko Moche. Our editors are Nancy Lopez and Anna Sussman. Our story consultant is John Fecile. Engineering by Miles Lassi. Our music supervisor is Sandra Lawson-Ndu, also known as Sandu Ndu. She also created the Mind Your Own theme song with Peachcurls, featuring vocals from Ehiorobo. 

Graphic design by Jemimah Ekeh. Original artwork by Mateus Sithole.

Special thanks to Allan Coye, Jake Kleinberg, Samara Still, Sarah Yoo, Warner Music Group, and Afripods.

Make sure to follow Mind Your Own and listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

There’s even more to love with Lemonada Premium. Subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content from across the network for only $4.99 a month. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts.

Now go out, get together, and mind your own… belongings.

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