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Even though Laurie Kilmartin is on the road, she’s sharing the ways she can still do some home cooking in a Hampton hotel. That is, if you count store-bought ramen and banana smoothies, which we do. Plus, Laurie shares how she recorded her new one-hour special with a wrinkly blouse, and what she’s doing to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

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• Pet lovers, you need to check out Dutch for online vet care and prescriptions, whenever you need it. Visit www.dutch.com/addtocart for $40 off any annual membership.
• Laurie is cooking on the road with the Ninja Portable Blender and collapsible electric kettle
• She’s getting her red light in with the Omnilux Contour Face 
• Su travels with the Miss Mouth’s Messy Eater Stain Treater Spray
• Watch Laurie’s new special, Cis Woke Grief Sl*t on AppleTV, Amazon Prime and YouTube

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Laurie Kilmartin., SuChin Pak, Kulap Vilaysack

Kulap Vilaysack  00:10

Welcome to spring and welcome back to Add To Cart carter’s it’s your auntie, Kulap Vilaysack.

 

SuChin Pak  00:17

And I’m your other auntie SuChin Park.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  00:23

I’ve been pronouncing it wrong this entire time.

 

SuChin Pak  00:27

Or, Sushi Park which is always a fun one.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  00:31

I like that better, I prefer that Sushi Park, Sushi Park, I’m so excited for our guest today because I know deep in my nethers.

 

SuChin Pak  00:41

I love your nethers.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  00:43

Thank you and I love yours that she is going to match our chaotic auntie energy to a tee. She is a comedian and Emmy nominated for writing for Conan. She’s the author of Dead People Suck and the New York Times best seller Shitty Mom she and fellow comic Jackie Keishon hosts the podcast the Jackie and Laurie show. And in January she released her new one hour comedy special Cis Woke Grief Slut, please add to cart, Laurie Kilmartin.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  01:19

Wow, what an intro. I’m even excited.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  01:22

You are busy, busy busy lady.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  01:26

It looks busy, yeah.

 

SuChin Pak  01:27

It does look very busy in this font. Let’s talk about this new special what what’s been the reaction? What have you been just enjoying, as you’re talking about it?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  01:41

I guess is the standard now you just have to post clips, and a special is basically you know 100 clips in a row that you just have to cut and caption and hope you get more followers so people come to shows that’s that’s what it is. I’ve been noticing differences in like, the the users you know, like, when I post abortion jokes on YouTube, it is the response is completely male and completely furious.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  02:15

I love to tell abortion jokes, yeah.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  02:23

Well, you know, and I’ve never had an abortion, so it feels like Stolen Valor. I almost had one, so I was pregnant. I was in my mid 40s. Okay, and I had a miscarriage, okay, but I was going to abort that fetus anyway. So don’t feel bad for it is going to hit the streets no matter what. That is zero chance in this body. Okay, but wow, I was trying to figure out where to get the abortion, like looking at places, that’s when I had the miscarriage. And I’ve always believed it was God going, hey, let me get this one for you.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  03:09

And then like on Reddit, it’ll be like, oh, good joke so it’s like a lot of comics are there, and it’s more of a exercise in being brought into this centuries version of social media. I guess I’m, you know, part of me was stuck in AOL messenger and I really loved it there. I was in the chat rooms early on, and it was lots of fun, and I just don’t like posting video of myself, you know, I hate it’s all I can do is look at my face. I mean, I’m filtered heavily now, I don’t know what you’re seeing ladies but if I look good, it’s this. You look fantastic, it’s a zoom filter. There, there is so much going on that is disappointing to me. And to have to watch it up close all the time and try to put letters over my face when I’m captioning so people don’t see. It’s just not fun but whatever.

 

SuChin Pak  03:58

That’s the work, that’s the real work of it.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  04:01

It is having been a fan of standup for years. It used to be and when we were talking about AOL, it’s very nostalgic, like very but it used to be first and that was just like, the goal is you work on your hour, you get your special and that’s it. And the fact that you have to disseminate it. Like that’s not even that’s just your source material to chop a bunch of clips is a wild thought, but I know that is to be the case.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  04:30

Yeah, I mean, the idea that you could, you could it gets handed to HBO or whatever, and you never have to look at it again. That is heaven to have to go over now, like year and a half old jokes and go oh, you know, like, I have a new tag now or I could have edited this better and posting it. It’s just, it’s horrible it to me, it’s all backwards looking stuff. And you should always be looking forward.

 

SuChin Pak  04:56

That’s so interesting because you think with all this I never thought about that. that like do you think with all this tech everything is moving so fast? But in some ways it’s just like you have to hold on to so much stuff that in the past you could just be like, did that bad idea I won’t be doing it and let’s move on. I reminds me of I think like my favorite show ever worked on was on an a new network that wasn’t even airing in the city I was living in and I would go in and tape the show and be like, well, I hope someone hit record. I hope someone was watching who cares and move on. There’s something like I don’t know freeing about that when you’re being creative.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  05:39

Yeah, but now it for a bunch of young people, everything old you did is also basically new to this is one example of this of something old becoming new again, Natasha Bedingfield posted something about how I was 22 when her hit song came out. And now I’m 42 and the song is like number 25 on Tik Tok worldwide like oh, it’s new, and it’s used in the background of people’s posts, so Laurie, here’s the crazy stuff is that you should be Elspeth making clips of your old stuff too.

 

SuChin Pak  06:21

Oh, no cool with her producer ideas.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  06:25

Use it does age well, comedy 20 year old. Some people didn’t find some of that material. That’s what I’m hoping for.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  06:34

You don’t want to clip your Byron Allen. Like that stuff, you don’t want to get our old Comedy Central? Like yeah.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  06:44

Oh my god yeah, that was oh, boy yeah, no.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  06:50

I should reveal what I plan to do is to pay someone to find all of Susan’s old like clips from MTV and her various like, television appearances, and I’m gonna post them on Add To Cart, because that’s what I’m gonna do. A lot of ematic panic, Laurie, a lot of like chunks of colors, it’s really good.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  07:16

And also, like, I particularly remember in premium blend, I was shouting, like, I didn’t realize I had a mic. And totally, I was shouting to the back of the room, and I can’t even watch it, it’s so stressful, you know?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  07:30

Yeah, and then now it’s just like, so what’s the play? You’re just roasting your old clips?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  07:35

You’re right, let’s skip it, let’s not do it.

 

SuChin Pak  07:39

But we workshopped it. We workshopped it here.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  07:42

I take it back.

 

SuChin Pak  07:44

This is what three aunties do we bring an idea everybody shits on it. And then we’re like great good feedback.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  07:51

You’re so hilarious I think during the pandemic I really was with you on on the you know Twitter and just everything that was going on and the way that how insightful and how just tits out your I wasn’t say balls out I didn’t feel like an applied.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  08:07

Thank you.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  08:08

You’re really yeah, I just I really love your special but this is where I transition into Add to Cart where I asked you Laurie what type of shopper are you? How do you do it? How do you add to cart?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  08:21

Be a lot freer when I was working for Conan and I had a steady income I didn’t like I was I’m never extravagant but I if I wanted something I would buy it I just didn’t want I don’t like want diamonds you know but like if I wanted something cool like I got a steamer for my shower, and I love it to this day.

 

SuChin Pak  08:44

Wait, what do you mean a steamer? I mean like like a portable steamer? Or you installed it?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  08:51

Had to be installed.

 

SuChin Pak  08:52

Oh, I thought there was like a new.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  08:55

Yeah, there’s a little computer buttons that you push and you can get your your shower up to 135 degrees. And you can just sit I had a little bench put in and I just sit on the bench and steam and it’s incredible, yeah.

 

SuChin Pak  09:10

I mean that’s better than diamonds to me.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  09:12

Totally, yes yeah and now because I’m you know, budgeting more I’m just living off a roadwork and savings. So it’s a lot of things that make like road life easier. I just got a ninja mini blender. It’s a portable blender. It’s the size of a water bottle that you take to the gym.

 

SuChin Pak  09:35

Oh, nice.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  09:35

So now I’m thinking so if I’m flying to the East Coast, I land at four o’clock. On the way out I get a an overpriced banana from the airport and a little thing of milk. I go to my hotel room instead of having like the Lean Cuisine or you know DiGiorno little pizza they have in their pantry. I can just make a little smoothie for myself. And then, that’s huge for me because I just, I hate eating like the way I eat on the road. And I feel like this is going to just give me so many better options. I’m super excited to go to Salt Lake City this weekend to just to blend in whatever happens in I’m in, you know.

 

SuChin Pak  10:17

Wait a minute, this is wait is, it’s battery operated?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  10:22

It’s USB operating. So you charge it and yeah.

 

SuChin Pak  10:28

And it’s powerful enough to like actually work.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  10:32

It took a pie chart, frozen blueberries and a banana and milk and made it into a smooth delicious drink. I was ready to return it and it it works so well I threw away the box.

 

SuChin Pak  10:48

Wow.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  10:49

You did not.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  10:50

My confidence is high, yeah.

 

SuChin Pak  10:52

Oh your way a box after a purchase. I mean, that’s, I haven’t done that in years. I have a garage filled with empty boxes. But this reminds me of the time that.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  11:04

You went to Hawaii.

 

SuChin Pak  11:09

And my mother was there and she unpacked her suitcase her tiny little gym bag, not even a suitcase. Just six pairs of underwear and some T shirts and a giant blender because she wasn’t going to pay hotel smoothie prices, you know and.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  11:29

Full blender?

 

SuChin Pak  11:30

She brought like a whole blender.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  11:32

In carry on or?

 

SuChin Pak  11:33

No, she had to check that in. Yeah, we checked in the luggage and I saw her pull that out and I said this woman. This woman is doing the math. Wrong, but she’s doing the math.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  11:48

Yeah, there’s nothing is happening.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  11:50

I don’t know, I think she did it right. That’s my kind of math. I mean, it’s happy but how much did she save quite a bit, I’m imagining right? You just go to a local store get some fruit and right.

 

SuChin Pak  12:01

Yeah, yeah you know, it does kill a vibe, though when you’re on vacation, doesn’t it?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  12:07

Or it brings out the home vibe with you on vacation.

 

SuChin Pak  12:11

Again, yes, yeah, killed it. You know, it should be liberating to be in you know, out in the sun, drinking something with an umbrella and and paying gobs of money for it or going to you know, ABC and picking out some fruit. Making it in the bathroom there. Making sure they outlet support the the blender.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  12:35

Oh, yeah, it is extra work. I mean, at least when I do road stuff, the hotels always not near anything, it’s never a tourist attraction. It’s just in an office park, there’ll be one like Subway sandwich shop that all the office workers go to, and that’s yeah, that’s what you have. But the so anything I can bring that allows me to like cook a little bit in the room is like a godsend to me.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  12:59

Let’s dive into your cart because I think there’s more travel stuff. And so the collapsible travel size TV, what is that? How is that?

 

SuChin Pak  13:10

Wait, where do you get that?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  13:12

You can get it on Amazon. And I have to credit Crystella Alonso the comedian. You’re posting about this two years ago and I didn’t I was I was like, I kind of try that thing, and I just never got around to it and then I finally did. And it’s incredible, I guess the dome of the teapot. I don’t know what that part of the teapot is called it. It’s silicone so it smashes down into a flat little disk. And you can it gives you a little baggie to put the disc in. The water gets really it gets boiling hot really quickly and now you can make you can make apparently you can hard boil an egg in it. I haven’t done this, this woman told me this on Twitter. You you have your cup of noodles, you have your ramen, you have any sort of soup. And then you do not have to use the hotel coffeemaker, which we know people masturbate on that, right?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  14:04

Wait, no we don’t.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  14:07

We do, that’s a fact.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  14:09

That’s a fact?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  14:10

That’s a fact. People have taken black lights into hotel rooms and found semen everywhere, including the coffeemaker.

 

SuChin Pak  14:17

I saw one we’re including in the you know how like, some hotels have the shampoo and conditioner and soap like attached to the wall, including there.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  14:28

Even there?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  14:30

That is devious.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  14:32

Yeah, but that’s like some sort of you got to be like a Cirque du Soleil performer. How are you like launching your pelvis in a manner that.

 

SuChin Pak  14:41

I think you’re collecting it?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  14:43

Yes, I think so as well, in a tea in a coffee maker.

 

SuChin Pak  14:51

I mean, humans are disgusting. Humans are disgusting. And by humans, we mean mostly men. I wanted to create a warm bath before I got to the real hard truth of it so everyone got in before I turned up the heat, but.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  15:15

I’m sorry, I’m so picturing it is so crazy. He’s so crazy.

 

SuChin Pak  15:21

I’m so sorry for anyone listening with children listening with you, first of all, children probably shouldn’t be listening to our show but wait, this is interesting. The portable, first of all, this list is blowing my mind because I love nothing more than just like actual things that you can travel with. That work makes sense and can save you money, right? But it also works like if you’re traveling with kids. You know what I mean? Like, this is sort of like these are good, like family hacks that I’m thinking about for a big trip that I have. I don’t even know how how someone got to this. I guess he got to it by saying portable unit because the whole collapsible thing is what takes it to, that’s what takes it to space.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  16:10

Yeah, it’s just the size of a large Tupperware lid, you know, a medium sized one, and you just throw it like a Frisbee like a mini frisbee into your suitcase.

 

SuChin Pak  16:21

This is like a whole world you.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  16:23

Game changer.

 

SuChin Pak  16:24

This is a game changer. They have it in like a water bottle form to like I’m seeing here as I’m scrolling down. So you plug in the water bottle, and it’s like there as well. I mean, these are all things I’ll have to buy keep the box of course, and test out.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  16:40

Throw away that box.

 

SuChin Pak  16:42

No.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  16:43

I’m telling you.

 

SuChin Pak  17:49

No.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  17:50

Them to send it to you without.

 

SuChin Pak  17:54

We just met, we just met let’s let’s slow it down.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  17:57

That’s so reckless.

 

SuChin Pak  17:59

Very intimate, intimate spaces we just met.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  18:01

Next is something that Su, and I both own, but I really want to talk to you about it. The Omni Luxe red light facemask.

 

SuChin Pak  22:22

Get out of here.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  22:23

How was how did you come to this product? Clearly you love it. Are you taking this on the road?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  22:29

I’m not on the road long enough to justify taking it you know, like usually the other like two or three day […] I found it after looking at my face on a zoom.

 

SuChin Pak  22:40

Okay, without the filter?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  22:43

Filterless free before the lessor was applied and was was like, this is the problem. And then I want me to read I think there’s like a over 30 or over 40 or over 50 whatever I’m in all the over the age that I am skincare groups on Reddit. And people just started talking about this particular red light mask and then this one was the best apparently he’s got the best rating. And I use now it’s not perfect because I got a bump on my nose. So it’s a little, how do you feel like it fits your face? If you have a lot of money you can get like it molded to your face, maybe not on your legs but different kinds like so that would be like a huge Jennifer Aniston like purchase.

 

SuChin Pak  23:26

It’s not a perfect fit. But that’s not the point is it?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  23:32

Well, I just want it to light up every square foot of my face. And so I’m like just angling to press it down. And I don’t want any space between it like it’ll pop up at the chin and yeah, so that’s the only thing I wish, you know, but whatever, it’s for that price range, that’s really great, I mean, I look at the next one. And I think you know if I sell a lot of merch this year on the road and.

 

SuChin Pak  23:59

Never won the hand one I mean there’s like whole body things.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  24:02

I know, I know.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  24:04

I thought Su, if that didn’t your friend just kind of what she does, she takes that mask and she just slips down to the.

 

SuChin Pak  24:09

Slips it right down.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  24:10

She just slips it just slides that.

 

SuChin Pak  24:12

It’s not comfortable, it’s not comfortable. You have to be on your back and sort of, you know, like you said, you have to be angling it but, I mean, again, that’s not the point. Comfort is not the point is it?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  24:25

I’m sorry for even suggesting it. That’s a weakness in me for even desiring comfort so yeah, so I apologize.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  24:34

No Sushin and you go outside and you do little squats, is that what it is? That’s your routine with that mask on?

 

SuChin Pak  24:40

You know I fit it in wherever I can, you know, some mornings I just gotta get it all in before before work happens and you got to get the sun in your eyeballs. You got to do the squats for your pelvic region so you don’t leak urine all day. And then you got to get the red light on your face and sometimes all those three things that have to happen at one time. The other day, I did find myself. I was like, hmm, maybe not this, you know, I was doing my oral care, and I was like, oh, I should put on the mask and put on the mask and I and I brush my teeth and everything but I hadn’t done my my mouth wash and I was like, oh, I can squeeze this in.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  25:20

No SuChin, and why are you doing this?

 

SuChin Pak  25:23

And you’re like, oh, yeah, yeah, that probably will short circuit some stuff and a little bit dribbled down my chin. That hole is a little bit smaller than you think. You know, you really can’t fit very much into it.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  25:34

It’s not it’s not for eating. It’s not for. You’re not meant to do that.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  25:40

I think it’s just for breathing, right? It’s just for breathing.

 

SuChin Pak  25:45

I once thought you could fit a hot dog, but it’s not. It’s just a little a little cap of mouthwash is max. It’s possible, it’s just max.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  25:55

I was reminded of a victory by something you just said, SuChin is yesterday I sneeze and almost peed but caught it. Recalled it, so I just want to put that out there, that’s possible for all the ladies.

 

SuChin Pak  26:12

Excuse me, we’re not gonna just glance over that. I want to know how you got there. What did you start from the morning? What did you do to get there? Because that’s work, Laurie, you know, don’t underestimate you know, a recall.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  26:31

I had about a half a second to get everything in line and to call up the troops and they were right there for me and I appreciate them always.

 

SuChin Pak  26:42

When I have those kinds of days. I have to go back and journal. I have to go back and look at what I mean from the get go. You know what I mean? Like morning work? Yes, that retrace your steps because you want to recreate that wonder over and over again. But it’s just been a minute since I’ve got that journal out

 

Kulap Vilaysack  27:14

Laurie, what what what are you talking about when you say you’ve added to cart a black vest?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  27:19

What? Oh, you know, well, this happened in my special and I encourage people to only focus on this if they watch it. I wore a silk blouse that got wrinkled between the time I stained it and the time I walked out onto the stage and no one stopped me. So I encourage anyone watching this special to ignore all the jokes and just sit there and go how could this special have gone on? How could the director, how did no one stop it? This is an emergency.

 

SuChin Pak  27:53

Were you in raged were you in rage?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  27:56

This is only because she has to do all these clips that’s I know I wouldn’t top to bottom never I thought you looked beautiful. Never even occurred to me that like there was something wrong with your shirt like this is only because you’re looking at the minutia.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  28:12

My shirt looks like my face without the filter. That’s how wrinkled it is. It’s appalling and I just got a vest on Amazon. I was like let me just try this, it was like an old west vest, I had some dumb idea for a real it’s got those little ties in the back. I look like a banker you know from in the old west, right? And then I just wore it with like some regular tops and I’m like, oh, this is I feel like there’s a lot of women’s dressing that I didn’t partake in because I wasn’t comfortable experimenting. Like I didn’t and I don’t know I guess maybe I feel differently now but I got this dumb little vest and I love it.

 

SuChin Pak  28:56

And so you’re just putting the vest on top of shirt because it doesn’t wrinkle. It’ll hide yes and hide the it hides.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  29:04

If you say I have two shows that night I’m eating a hot dog. Let’s use your example I spill mustard on the vest it comes off I still have a clean shirt. Right you eat between shows. So it gives me it’s like two outfits. I wish I thought I realized this like 25 years ago. I don’t know what might have changed my career.

 

SuChin Pak  29:26

There goes Laurie wearing six shirts. Really gamed the system this woman she’s, yes, scholar level. Again still I mean my head is still like these are great tips for traveling with kids. You know I never thought about that. Putting on a vest.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  29:50

I’m looking at what you’re wearing, Su what is oh well how far are we from a vest?

 

SuChin Pak  29:55

I love a vest, I love a vest, I never eat then thought that you could start pulling off layers you know as the slop hit and it always does. Do you travel with you know you’ll I was traveled with like stain remover I also got like recently Miss mouths messy eater stain treater. And then, and then I got this, it’s what it looks like a faux bamboo little brush, and you and you spray this, and then you use this to, you know, instead of like, you know, you’re when I have a stain and I’m traveling, you know you’re at the sink, and you’re trying to rub the two pieces of fabric together to get off the hot dog juice. But now I’ve got this little brush here, that’s that the bristles are kind of, you know, they’re soft, so they’re, so they’re not going to tear your clothes apart, but they’re firm enough where they’re going to take off the stains.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  30:54

So rather than push it in, you’re sort of brushing it.

 

SuChin Pak  30:57

Yes, and this is the place I am in my life.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  31:02

There’s, there’s so handy and nearby, that’s interesting.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  31:06

So you were removing a wood chipper.

 

SuChin Pak  31:09

You owned a wood chipper?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  31:11

No, I was gonna buy a wood chipper, I did a lot of work, I have like tree branches, I want to learn how to cut them before they get into branch size, you know, I tend to like forget and then it’s like five inches or four inches thick, and I have to saw and I was gonna get a wood chipper because I got a lot of branches that I have to get rid of, and they’re too tall to go in the bin, like I have to either saw them and half. And I thought well, wood chipper might be might be nice, and then after all my research, I was just so afraid of the blades, and afraid I would do something wrong.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  31:49

Yeah, and you have a teen son so I’m.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  31:53

True to right, yeah, that makes you nervous. He did saw some of the […] the branches like earlier this week. So that’s good. He kind of liked it, so it kind of activated a bit about the lumberjack that is in all teen sons. So I was like, oh, this might work.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  32:12

You’re a woods woman like I am not handling my branches.

 

SuChin Pak  32:17

No, I’ve never in my life ever the thought has ever entered my mind. I need to cut those branches, Laurie? Well I don’t know anyone who’s ever really thought that?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  32:36

Here’s, here’s what happens. I bought a house, and it was total desert decor. And I was like no, so I just planted a ton of trees. And again, I was working for Conan so I had tree money. You know, you could get like, a tree, I planted a ton of trees way too many. I did an arborist stop by and he’s like, you have too many trees here. And they’re all growing into each other which I liked. I was like I want to can’t I want to like to be like a forest, you know. And now I’m realizing oh, this is not good. This could you know damage my house.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  33:11

For the arborist to come through it and go too many trees.

 

SuChin Pak  33:18

Drove by knocked on your door and was like, I don’t know you. But there’s too many trees. Wow, and so this is a this occupies a lot of your mental space.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  33:32

And the bigger the trees get the more expensive they are to remove, so that’s also like I should get on this now but I want I mean, I like it. I have a Jacaranda and a pine tree and a palace bear day and they’re all competing with each other so they they’re like they connect it looks really cool. But I guess it’s not good for a house to be close to all this these trees like trying to strangle.

 

SuChin Pak  34:02

Battling yeah, Game of Thrones, tree style.

 

SuChin Pak  34:07

To see who will be the ruler of all.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  34:11

I did cut down one branch I’ll show you that he went at the huge branch I had to deal with that, I cut down.

 

SuChin Pak  34:16

Cutting it with a saw.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  34:17

I use the saw, yes.

 

SuChin Pak  34:19

On a ladder? Get up on a ladder and you just saw that.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  34:24

Short ladder, I don’t have a chainsaw like I knew it’d be easier if I had a chainsaw but I’m also afraid that that would like come out and I you know what I mean? Like it’s scary, scary stuff.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  34:35

It’s really scary.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  34:36

But a saw is so tiring like you can’t I never get up enough speed ring in a cup myself. It just takes forever, you know.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  34:44

More about your house. Does it have a pond?

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  34:47

It doesn’t have a pond. It does not have I would love a pond.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  34:50

I think,  you’re thinking about doing a pond.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  34:54

Yeah, I mean again that would that would take a new job but I would love a pond. I would love koi fish I would love that whole area I want to erase the, the desert that this person, they just had nothing there, you know, and now it’s like really It looks jungly a little bit, you know?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  35:13

Yeah, so you just want to make it you’re like Shangri La you’re like your backyard Haven.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  35:18

Yeah, and you can’t see me on like through the branches, I just sit you know, and I observed the neighborhood but they can’t see.

 

SuChin Pak  35:26

Your vest uh huh.

 

Laurie Kilmartin.  35:29

That’s full of full of mustard.

 

SuChin Pak  35:31

Everyone’s like the vest lady, vest lady come in. Nobody, look.

 

CREDITS  35:41

Laurie, thank you so much for joining us. That’s all for today’s episode, carter’s it’s still Women’s History Month keep celebrating the badass women in your life. Like Laurie you can find her on Instagram at any Laurie 16. You can watch her new special Cis Woke Grief Slut on Apple TV, Amazon Prime and YouTube. Add To Cart is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producers are Kegan Zema and Tiffany Bouy. Brian Castillo is our engineer. Theme music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers or Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer, and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen at free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.