17. How We See It ft. Women (Who Also Have Great Makeup Tips)

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Description

In lieu of more exposure about how the media treats women ––  #freeBritney, Allen v. Farrow, and most recently Oprah’s interview with Meghan Markle –– SuChin and Kulap confront their previous relationships with tabloids and celebrity news and offer up a new way to move forward: listen to women. Plus, great makeup tips from SuChin and all the content Kulap watched before and after her recent egg retrieval.

Please note, Add To Cart contains mature themes and may not be appropriate for all listeners.

 

For a list and links to all products mentioned in this episode, head to @addtocartpod on Instagram.

 

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak

SuChin Pak  00:11

All right everyone. Welcome to another edition of ADD TO CART—I’m SuChin.

Kulap Vilaysack 

And I’m Kulap. How is your week been, SuChin? How’s your desk?

SuChin Pak 

Who knew the desk? Huh? What did you say was one of the most talked about photos of Add To Cart, so far.

Kulap Vilaysack

I mean, you guys correct me if I’m wrong, but on @AddToCartPod, the most likes of any of our photos and a lot of comments people have things to say people are related to you. People were shocked. People had anxiety; people felt seen. Our dear friend Naomi Scott said it doesn’t add up

SuChin Pak

I’m taking all of it in. I am slowly making my way through the comments because I like to pause at each one and reply. And I did stop at the third comment on the tamales. Which by the way, guys, they’re not just […] tamales. I didn’t say that the last time they’re from that bakery, was it Porto?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh, from Porto’s?

SuChin Pak 

Yes. From Porto’s, a friend of mine made a very special visit and the Porto’s is legendary. So I had her bring me 40 tamales.

Kulap Vilaysack

So you could freeze them? Yeah. Because people were asking who’s Abuela’s tamales are you eating at.

SuChin Pak 

Porto’s eating Abuela’s tamales, so not just any tamales, you know? But yeah, no, the desk. I did see the picture. And I did do a silent gasp by you know, because it’s like when you’re sitting in it. You don’t really realize it till you actually see it with fresh fresh eyes. Yeah, my desk is I did the I did the garbage pass after we talked and it was fine. It was a one pass garbage pass. And it’s on its way. Alright, let’s get to it. All right. Add To Cart. Kulap, you go first.

Kulap Vilaysack  02:18

Yeah. Okay, I’ll do that. Alright, so SuChin Pak is you know, I had a fertility treatment, another egg retrieval this past weekend. And so there’s a lot of as I’m growing eggs, as I’m cooking my eggs and my follicles as they’re growing. You gotta chill, right? You guys know, my mode hasn’t been kickboxing and power walking in the hood, per se, but you don’t want to jostle too much. So there’s a lot of chilling before and certainly after the retrieval which went well.

SuChin Pak 

What does well mean?

Kulap Vilaysack 

I’m alive.

SuChin Pak 

That’s always well, number one.

Kulap Vilaysack

I’m here. Yeah, we got some eggs and we’re cooking them further and saying, you know, we put Scott’s frozen sperm into them and we’re gonna try to get some embryos.

SuChin Pak 

Fingers crossed.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh my goodness. The weird Science of it all, you know? Truly. But thank goodness and so afterwards I’m sore, right? Because it’s what the doctors doing Dr. Kelly Bling Empire. She is aspirating my follicles so she’s taking like a tiny little like poker like a little knife she’s just just stab, stab, stabbing and sucking that egg out. So that’s happening and so there’s pain afterwards they give you the big big girl Tylenol to help with that afterwards and so I’m saying all this as to share that I’ve been watching a lot of TV and film from my couch so much.

SuChin Pak 

You got to chill those eggs.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I got to chill and then I gotta go chill my womb let it heal. SuChin, I’m not gonna talk about all of it. We don’t have time. We don’t want to you know, but I just want to touch on some things. Just touch. People have probably talked, you know, the CBS Oprah bombshell interview with Meghan Markle and, and former Prince Harry to the ground, you know, but we got to say we saw it. And I didn’t care before. I simply didn’t care before. And now I’m very invested. I have missed Oprah so much. I miss her. She is I miss I miss seeing her every day. You know, movies Monday through Friday. I miss her. She was like my nanny, my TV nanny when I come home from school and it was just so nice to see her. And she’s a great interviewer.

SuChin Pak  04:58

She’s one of those interviewers Here’s where you are never going to feel like things are going to get messy. You are never going to feel like things are going to get out of control. She has got everything under control. And that’s to me I think a masterful interviewer is someone who makes you feel like okay, nothing bad is gonna happen in this moment.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Okay, you are an amazing interviewer. I’ve seen you. I mean, you’re, of course, professional work. You’re an American icon. We’ve discussed this, and we’ll continue to discuss this.

SuChin Pak 

Singular, but it’s the only voice that I care about at this moment.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I’m just curious, like, who were your inspirations in terms of being a journalist, being a reporter, being a correspondent?

SuChin Pak 

Well, the obvious one is Connie Chung, because I wouldn’t be here without Connie Chung. And more specifically, Connie Chung swan song, have we talked about this?

Kulap Vilaysack  06:07

You sent it to me.

SuChin Pak 

Go to YouTube and Google Connie Chung Swan Song or Connie Chung Last Song. And it’s really the last appearance that she made on her show on live television on her show. But I only bring this up because she’s an icon to me, because it’s full circle. She’s an icon because she broke barriers. But she also is an icon to me because she left sort of her career with like two middle fingers up in the air.

Kulap Vilaysack 

If I recall, she’s wearing a ballgown?

SuChin Pak 

She’s wearing a ball gown singing a song that she wrote to the melody. Thanks for the memories. And rolling around on a grand piano. To me, that was my permission to be whoever I want it to be. For me that was freedom. For me that was pivotal. But I think, you know, obviously Oprah, Diane Sawyer to me has that, I love like, a knife’s blade, like covered in soft cotton cloth.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh, what an image, that’s visceral.

SuChin Pak

You know what I mean? Oprah is a little bit like that, anyway.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I mean, like with Oprah, when she’s listened so intently, and talks about what Meghan wanted to talk about, but then, then would circle back to something else. It was so conversational, but it’s also you can she’s just so sharp. There’s just things that she’s not going to let go. And it’s great.

SuChin Pak 

I thought to speak to that point, Kulap. One, was different energy when Harry came. Didn’t you find that interesting?

Kulap Vilaysack

Yeah, definitely.

SuChin Pak 

With Harry, she was like, no, I’m gonna, I’m gonna lean in a little bit harder, for lots of reasons. And I thought that was interesting. I also thought it was interesting. I don’t know if you got the impression. I really felt like, she wanted a fair interview with Meghan. So she was going to ask the hard questions. But I also felt that she was appropriately protective. And I felt that there were times and again, this was edited. So it’s not like we saw the live uncut version of it.

Kulap Vilaysack  08:25

I saw a little bit of clips from the CBS morning show the next morning, and Oprah said that it was like, I recall, like a 3-hour 30-minute pared down to like, an hour plus.

SuChin Pak 

I’m sure we’ll see lots of that the rest of the interview. Because it’s just so huge, right?

Kulap Vilaysack 

What was telling, she mentioned to Gail, that when she met, or she spoke to Meghan, at one point, prior to the wedding, I believe, and she asked how it was going. And Meghan revealed to her that she was told by the firm, which, you know, I love to say now, even though I know that’s a known thing, but of course now it’s in my vernacular that someone from the firm’s or collectively the firm told her to be 50% what she is.

SuChin Pak 

50% less yeah, exactly. 50% of what she is yeah.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh, my goodness. When I heard that, I’m like, Oh, my goodness.

SuChin Pak 

I’m 50% less because I choose to be but I am not 50% less because someone has told me, there’s a big difference. I choose to be 50% less pretty much every day, my choice.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Your body, your choice, SuChin.

SuChin Pak 

My body, my choice. Sleepwalking through life, my choice, but man, but you know what? If that isn’t what every woman, every person of color, every marginalized person has ever felt in their life. I mean, we all can relate to that.

Kulap Vilaysack  10:06

Yeah, that’s tell us poppy gets cut down. You know, be small. Take a small space as possible, be obedient. Bow your head. Oh, man.

SuChin Pak 

There’s this great sort of memoir by I can’t think of I can’t remember the author’s name, but she’s a queer, I believe Muslim. And the title of the memoir is “You Exist Too Much”— which is something from another point that I don’t even remember much of what’s in there other than the title is You Exist Too Much. And that is Meghan Merkel’s equivalent of 50% less please.

Kulap Vilaysack 

You exist too much. That is like, that’s tough.

SuChin Pak 

Too much, yeah.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I’ll just briefly state some of the things that I’ve watched and guys, I’m just letting you know this is a small menu and not the full Cheesecake Factory menu of what I’ve been up to in my eyeballs, but I saw one Division finale. Netflix’s Moxie love interested in Asian Thank you very much. Netflix. I care a lot Rosamund Pike is, she is Whoa, that lady is well. She’s a tremendous actor. Talking about a knife’s edge with her performance.

SuChin Pak 

And her Bob

Kulap Vilaysack 

And her Bob. That’s so good.

SuChin Pak 

Yes.

Kulap Vilaysack

Clap, clap, clap, for Rosamund Pike. I also started a base on SuChin’s suggestion I started watching Outlander Season 1, I’ve gone through at 1 through 9 and these are, again guys these are not short shows. And I shared it with Claire, producer Claire and SuChin said Bridgerton is Sesame Street and she is right. Episode Six of Bridgerton got nothing on every 30 minutes of Outlander.

SuChin Pak  12:09

Yeah yeah, it’s quite a, quite a shock. You know I love I like to just relax into a period you know series or a film you know, kind of tuning half in and out folding laundry. Had no idea Outlander from episode 1. There is, there’s a lot of intimate scenes in there that gets your knickers in a bunch. Gets your corset. There are a sex scenes in there. That..

Kulap Vilaysack

When you were saying Bridgerton was porn. Remember when you said that?

SuChin Pak 

Yeah,

Kulap Vilaysack 

Well, Outlander?

SuChin Pak 

Oh, yeah.

Kulap Vilaysack

I’m certainly the latest because I heard whispers in the wind of people who love the show. And I heard that, you know, it was like a it’s a bodice ripper. It’s a romance novel, come to life, then that’s kind of why I didn’t but then I guess Bridgerton was my door, my pathway.

SuChin Pak 

I mean Outlander is definitely backdoor into this small room that only adults are allowed in.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Let’s take a quick break. And we’ll be right back.

Kulap Vilaysack 

All right, we are back. SuChin, what did you add to cart this week?

SuChin Pak

Well, you know, my theme for Add To Cart this week was makeup. You know, it’s that time, we’re going on a year of Zoom.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I’m feeling it, SuChin. I’m feeling like, I want to zhuzh up a bit.

SuChin Pak  14:03

Zhuzh up a bit. Yeah. Because the other thing about Zoom is that you’re staring at yourself all day long. Like, you know, so it’s kind of like all right, well, let’s, make it little, let’s make it pretty. So, the first thing I wanted to bring up was, I think I showed you this, I don’t know on some random call. I got this lip palette from Target.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh, wow a lip palette. How many?

SuChin Pak 

25 for $20.

Kulap Vilaysack 

It’s a cube?

SuChin Pak 

Tell me lipstick color that cannot be made from this palette. It doesn’t exist.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah. And so that and it’s like they all look very like usable. You know, sometimes when you get big palettes you’re like, well, I’m never going to use this one color.

SuChin Pak 

No, I’ve used every single color almost. And it’s so fun because you just sort of mix and match. You know, I tried to stay as clean as I can with my makeup, especially if it’s near my mouth. This is clean-ish. So it’s not terrible, but $20 bucks for 25 lipsticks that you can mix and match, probably getting how many combinations? I’m not a mathematician, but in the 1000s.

Kulap Vilaysack 

This is a budget buy.

SuChin Pak 

This is a budget buy. The other one that I’ve been really loving. So, you and I both got this. It’s from a company called Jamie Makeup. And she’s a makeup artist to the stars, right? Kelly Cuoco is one of her clients. And she reached out to us. She’s a fan of Add To Cart. We love that. And she has her own makeup line.

Kulap Vilaysack 

We more than love that.

SuChin Pak 

What’s not to love? There is it. Yeah, just the love that exists for all of you guys. Now, I always love when makeup artists come up with makeup lines, because these are people who are using their craft and their tool. They’ve been perfecting it for decades. RMS is another one that I love. And Rosemary.

Kulap Vilaysack  16:11

You got me on to that and I love I’ve got a pot of it. And I use it all the time.

SuChin Pak 

All the time. And she’s a makeup artist. So her stuff is great. So anyway, so she’s just got one product and it’s called a Bligh Lighter. So it’s basically a blush and highlighter. And I thought, oh, well, that’s kind of my I don’t know, I feel like there’s a million people doing this. Like, it seems like yeah, like there’s a lot of, you know, creamy blush companies. This is totally different than some anything I’ve ever used. It’s different than RMS it’s different than any other creamy blushes. First of all, lots of really good clean products in here. And it’s this. Okay, so it’s a cream blush that has a highlighter in it. What does that mean? When you put it on, look at my cheeks.

Kulap Vilaysack 

It looks amazing on you.

SuChin Pak 

There’s like this pearly essence, it’s not glitter. It’s not shimmer. We’re too old for that. I hate when my makeup has glitter and shimmer in it. I can’t describe it other than it’s sort of a pearly almost like cast I don’t even know what it I don’t even know how she got I mean, to formulate.

Kulap Vilaysack 

As if there’s it’s blush and highlighter together. That’s what it is.

SuChin Pak 

Yeah, and I’m not a highlighter person really.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I have the cherry one on right now. What do you have on right now?

SuChin Pak 

So my favorite one I’ve been layering the coral one underneath. And then I do the pink one right on top. So the coral one is going to give you a little bit of warmth. And then the pink one is going to give you that really nice blush on your apples. And then my favorite one also is the nude one, and the nude one I’ve been putting on my eyelids. Look at that.

Kulap Vilaysack  18:02

Oh my goodness, I’m going to do that too.

SuChin Pak

I love a makeup product that you can apply with your fingers. I’m not a makeup artist. Please don’t make me buy tools and then learn how to use those. And then I also love a makeup product that does more than just the one thing, and this is worth it. This is worth the price. You get 2 in 1. I’m telling you guys; I’ve never used anything like this.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Well, I also put it on my lips too. So it’s kind of a 3 in 1.

SuChin Pak 

Absolutely. Any of this stuff that you can, these like creamy things you can put on your lids. You can put it on anywhere on your face. So Jamie Makeup, oh my goodness, this is such, I’m such a fan of this stuff. And I’m a fan for life. I just think you know when makeup artists make products, generally they do it really really well. So really quick. I’m always on the hunt for a good waterproof eyeliner. I’ve got thick let’s say it, omega three river salmon eyelid. Just takes up a lot of space, you know? And so not I’m always on the hunt for a good eyeliner that won’t move. So I told you last time about one I didn’t really love it.

SuChin Pak 

I started to ask around and someone suggested, a girlfriend of mine suggested this one. It’s a Korean brand. So hello, Waterproof Pen Liner by Clio, you can get it at Soko Glam, you can get it anywhere. So in my search for clean makeup products that are effective. I stumbled upon this. I don’t know if a lot of people know about this. Maybe I’m just kind of late to the game. It’s called Flesh, what I love about them. Two things, one, is that they come in every shade, right? So that’s like a really big thing now and makeup that like every skin tone should be covered. They have really, really amazing products. But I think they’re Australian even or something.

SuChin Pak  20:12

But the best part is, is they always have these crazy sales look right now, I don’t know if the sale will be on when this episode airs. But that’s 60% off any face and lip favorites with code Flesh 60. So the last time this happened, and it happens a lot. I bought every single one of their lipsticks and every single one of their […]. And it was 60% off. And then I bought them thinking that I was going to give them away as stocking stuffers, or you know what I mean? Even just like knowing that, oh, little birthday presents, or thank you gifts. So it’s called Flesh Beauty. They just have really fun stuff.

SuChin Pak 

It kind of reminds me a little bit of Glossier and Milk, it’s clean. They have all the basics. The two things that I really, really love matte lip gloss.

Kulap Vilaysack 

That’s the one.

SuChin Pak

So that’s a really good one, this is going to be a good color for you. It’s a little dark for me, called Bluff. So anyway, again, it’s 60% off right now. And while the coupon may not be there, by the time this airs, it will come back again. And maybe we will reach out to Flesh and ask if we could have our 60% of code. I don’t know. I don’t know how that works. But anyway, it’s a great site.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah, everybody understands that the reason why we’re doing this podcast is to get free things, right? It’s really..

SuChin Pak 

And to share, share, share, share with you guys.

Kulap Vilaysack

Yes, of course. That’s at top of the list. It is at the top.

SuChin Pak 

But that’s my makeup stuff that I’ve been really kind of loving. And it’s not expensive. It’s not. I don’t like to spend a ton of money on makeup.

Kulap Vilaysack

The stuff looks good, though. Looks great.

SuChin Pak  22:00

It’s really fun. The colors are great. The pigment is great. It’s clean. It’s great.

Kulap Vilaysack

It’s all of the SuChin Pak makeup checklist. Check, check, check, check.

SuChin Pak 

That’s right.

Kulap Vilaysack  22:11

Well, let’s take a quick break and we’ll be right back.

SuChin Pak

Alright, we are back to Add To Cart. So Kulap, we’re moving into what is it this week that we removed from cart?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yes. So my theme remains you did make up I’m still watching TV raised by TV here. And it’s an Add To Cart HBO’s Allen v. Farrow, I’ve seen episodes 1 through 3, finale airs Sunday, March 14th. And I’m removing from cart anybody who talks about their love of Woody Allen and his films, anybody who goes but, truly fuck Woody Allen, and fuck them.

SuChin Pak 

And anybody who still acts in his movies, I don’t want to call out actresses and actors, young actresses and actors in his […]. I can’t watch this documentary. I won’t watch it. I know the story very well. Years ago when her son did a huge exposé. I mean, he has been talking about this for years for Vanity Fair. Do you remember that?

Kulap Vilaysack

Ronan Farrow?

SuChin Pak 

Ronan Farrow did an article and I remember reading that and like having such intense like, my stomach is in knots like actually thinking about it. What more can be said about this? This has not been a secret. This has been around for years and years and years, like we’re done. There’s no excuse.

Kulap Vilaysack 

There simply is no excuse the work that other journalists have done. And you mentioned, Ronan. That was to me, proof enough. And then but this documentary is just damning.

SuChin Pak  24:01

Even more.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah. But you do get a sense of the type of personality that Mr. Allen has, his manipulation, his predatorial behavior in his interactions, conversations with her. And you hear that, and you see the video of Dylan after it happens that Mia Farrow took, talking about what happened.

SuChin Pak 

How old is she?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Seven. And it’s at times I had to stand up. I had to shift, I had to get up and kind of pace while it was on. And you see how systems and institutions to not have Dylan’s best interest and we know the story. We know the story. We hear the story all the time. How the systems that are supposed to protect children don’t. My other removed from cart truly is like just these fucking old ways, these old institutions, this patriarchal like bullshit the tabloids I mean in this it’s Dylan Farrow. It’s Meghan Markle. It’s free Britney. It’s like, it’s all feels like the same bucket, how we write off women, we society, and how I really hope that’s shifting. We don’t listen to them.

Kulap Vilaysack

And we call them hysterical. And we say that they’re crazy. And it is something that I wanted to talk to you about, having been in the industry as a reporter having been during the time of Britney, and I don’t know, like, just to talk about like, news. Like a weird question […] news, but like, yeah, it’s just how we consume it, and how it just to me, it’s just like, chewing up young women and women in general. And just like, and spinning them out. Like that’s, yeah, I mean, our tablets are horrible talking about free Britney, but like, looking at what Meghan Markle and other people have been through in the UK tabloids, which are really worse, believe it or not, like, loads worse. Could you talk about like, or can you?

SuChin Pak  26:26

I saw the free Britney documentary. And that’s so hard for me to I’m still processing it. Because, you know, I was part of that, you know, I reported on all of that. And I reported on all of her breakdowns. And same thing with Paris Hilton, and all of that, like that was like, exactly when I was there was when all of that was happening. And, you know, when you see it in the light of today, which is this narrative of how we treat women, and how we treat young women, the questions that we asked, the questions as journalists as that were even allowed to us that’s so I just didn’t even have the language for what I was seeing to even be critical of that, you know, because I experienced some of that in terms of just all of us, you know, being women in male dominated industries. And, you know, you never didn’t have me to and you didn’t have, you know, even the language for it.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Well, also, just in and I know from the house was that you and I grew up with that well this is how it is. Right? This is how it is so like, you know, quit bellyaching and deal with it, don’t be a problem.

SuChin Pak 

Yeah, exactly. And I remember interviewing Britney Spears, during, you know, the absolute heyday of her career. And even then, she was so lost and so vulnerable and so small every time you met with her, you know, she was very protected. And there are always people around her, but you could just tell that, like, there was just a smallness to her that had been put on her. Do you know what I mean? Just like, I think she could just do no right. You know, it’s like, if she did it this way, she was a slut. If she did it this way she was, you know what I mean, she was a drunk if she did it this way. And then when you look at it, in terms of the whole thing of you know, that she was dealing with the mental, the mental and the emotional toll of having her kids taken away from her.

SuChin Pak  28:37

What woman and what young woman wouldn’t go out of your fucking mind? If somebody took my kids and told me that I couldn’t see them? Are you kidding me? What mother? So, you know, you forget that part. And we all kind of, you know, overlook that. So I even forgot that part. I forgot that was all happening at the same time, until you see something like this and you realize the totality of it, when you’re chasing a news story, you’re just chasing the headline. And so that headline is just it’s very myopic. It’s a very small gold you don’t see it in the big context of what’s going on.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I hope it’s clear that I am in no way like putting any sort of blame or judgment on you. I hope that wasn’t why I really was just interested just to hear what you thought about Yeah, just because you were there and when stuff was happening, and then just what your jobs been, which I’m, I kind of only have like ideas about, right? And I certainly as a viewer was only and also like, much younger, but like nuance, and you know, really just taking in you know, whatever was like I was being fed and being cruel and I just truly removed from cart all of this fucking shit like I know I have […] in you know, buying us weekly tabloids or whatever but like truly like these old institutions evolve or die the monarchy evolve or die, you know, like truly.

SuChin Pak  30:16

We love celebrity news just change the narrative. Like I want to know what’s going on I love all that stuff but don’t give it to me in the context of she’s a slut she’s crazy she’s deranged don’t give it to me that way, we’re done with that like yeah, that’s been done that time is over. We know better. We’re not saying don’t have the jokes don’t have you what I mean, the salacious news. That’s fine. Just please change the narrative so it’s not racist. So it’s not dangerous, so it’s not sexist. Just change the narrative.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Let’s do that. Let’s all do that guys.

SuChin Pak 

Yeah, it’s not a big deal. I’m so glad that you brought all of that up because I think..

Kulap Vilaysack 

I mean, I clearly don’t have a fix and I’m not probably voicing anything that is new I just watching all of these documentaries and interviews and just really you know, I don’t know how many times a person can get woke I think more people need to do it all the time actually everyday you should wake up and really see things for how they are but it’s just like fucking enough, enough. Stop just stop like this is horrible. Why do we treat people like this? It’s horrible. Anyways, I don’t know.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Remove from cart I don’t even know of anything I said makes any sense. I think you guys are getting feeling more feeling than substance from Kulap Vilaysack. Remove from cart. Words are coming fast and furious. Whether they’re connected or cohesive.

SuChin Pak

Sounds huffs and puffs.

Kulap Vilaysack 

So much huffs and puffs. Thank God that you’re here.

SuChin Pak 

I have huff’s and puffs to. We’re still all processing this and it’s okay. But listen, the emotion comes first. And then we’ll you know; we’ll move forward and will articulate it in a way that that makes sense. But I think that, um, that you have to feel this angry. For real change to happen. Do you know what I mean? So that’s, this is it. Be angry for a while.

SuChin Pak  32:27

So, okay, my remove from cart is I’m going to put a pause on it. I’m going to tell you what it is after I tell you the story.

Kulap Vilaysack

Oh, good.

SuChin Pak 

So we’re going to cut two years ago. Imagine my son was a baby, not even one. So I was a new mom. And coming back from New York on a trip It was pretty late at night. I came into the room Mike was there. You know, it’s all tired. I’m all on East Coast time. You know, that sort of thing. We were laying in bed as I’m about to fall asleep. I hear a noise. And I’m always hearing noises. I’m always half awake, ready for you know, the stun gun to come out. I don’t have a stun gun, in my mind my pretend stun gun to come out. And I said to Mike, I was like, I heard something. And he was like, uh, and then sure enough, he heard something. And at that point, fight or flight has kicked in. Right? I’ve got a baby.

SuChin Pak 

So I run down the hallway. I grab a sleeping infant out of his crib. When you do that. Everything goes black. Nothing is registering. I ran into the room. We push the dresser, you know, across the bedroom door. And we call 911. Mike says get in the bathroom with the baby. He closes another door. And I’m on the phone with 911 and I say there’s an intruder in my house. This is my address. I have an eight-month-old baby in my arms. You need to send someone right now. I’m hysterically crying. The woman is very calm. And she knows things. She’s like, someone is coming. Just I’m gonna stay on the phone with you, staying on the phone.

SuChin Pak  34:11

You know, not two minutes later. She says the SWAT team is there. Stay inside your room, guns are drawn. And I’m feeling so relieved. so relieved that this is happening that there’s almost like a laughing you know, I remember just being like giggling like shaking and giggling and I go out at night say to Mike I was like, don’t go out the SWAT team is here. They’re going to they’re going to handle this. There’s a little window outside the bathroom that goes into the backyard. And in the backyard. We have a small little swimming pool and a guest house. There’s a helicopter hovering with bright lights above the backyard as if it’s seen in in a war movie, palm trees are swaying.

SuChin Pak 

The water is sloshing because the helicopter is about to is so close to hovering. And I see a light on in the guest house. And I tell the woman on the phone, he’s in the guest house. And she says, stay where you are. I hear her scream in the guest house in the backyard. My husband looks out the window, he looks into the guest house and he’s like, we got him. We got the sucker like he’s so done. Like he’s, you know, in the guest house. And he looks and he says the scariest words I’ve ever heard to this day in my life. He says, Oh my God, that’s my father.

Kulap Vilaysack 

No.

SuChin Pak 

I scream to the lady. And I say, Stop. It’s my father-in-law. And she’s like, What are you sure? So my husband goes out, risking life and limb because the last thing he wants is for a SWAT team to come in and give my father, my 70-year-old father-in-law, a heart attack. He goes out, stop, stop. You know, it’s my fault. And he stops. I mean, I’m telling you that there were people about to jump over the fence into the backyard. What is my father-in-law doing? Jules Bender, number one fan of this show. He’s in his boxers skirt. I see two little hairy legs, reading a Time magazine in bed and no idea what’s going on. No idea what’s going on.

SuChin Pak  36:34

Everybody retreats, put the baby back down. It’s about 1am. Mike and I, I remember, we didn’t say one word to each other, just like shocked into silence into trying to figure out what happened. And also trying to imagine that like, what would have happened to my father-in-law, had we not stopped that from happening? Like, it was such a disaster. We didn’t speak about this for a year, we never told Jules that that had even happened. We were so traumatized. We were so..

Kulap Vilaysack 

It was almost unspeakable.

SuChin Pak 

It was unspeakable.

Kulap Vilaysack 

The possibility of what could have transpired. The sliding doors of what could have been was too much and too overwhelming.

SuChin Pak 

We didn’t tell anyone. It was a year later; I think at one of our Thanksgiving trips that we said do you remember and he kind of remembered but he never knew.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Was he visiting you?

SuChin Pak 

He had a doctor’s appointment in LA. Early the next morning.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Jules was like let me go. I’m gonna I’m not gonna I’m gonna come visit. I’m not going to bother them. I got the keys.

SuChin Pak 

That’s right. I got the keys.

Kulap Vilaysack 

You know, they’re tired. I’m not gonna bother them.

SuChin Pak

Yes. He let himself in. And he went back into the guest house as he always does didn’t want to bother us didn’t want to call us before and say hey, just reminder. I’m driving down. Listen, Jules Bender doesn’t want to bother anyone. You know, he just wants to take care of his stuff, and just get in and out. And I was thinking about that. The other day, we during quarantine times. When the doorbell rings. You’re like, frozen. You’re like, wait, who, what? Why? When? Where? How? Why is the doorbell ringing? And it was a sweet neighbor of ours who I don’t know, wanted to drop off some things for the kids and have a chat.

SuChin Pak  38:47

This is what I’m removing from cart. Please don’t show up at my house unannounced. Not for an overnight visit. Not for a hello. Not to drop off a beverage. We have lost friends over this.

Kulap Vilaysack 

What do you mean, SuChin?

SuChin Pak 

When again, newborn baby, not speaking to anyone just trying to deal with the darkness of a newborn child and my own postpartum emotions. A friend drops by. I’m holding the baby. I look outside the window and I say so and so is here. My husband is like don’t answer the door. I’m standing there. And then this person says for the window. “I see you.”

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh boy.

SuChin Pak 

Kulap, I’ve never talked to this person again.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I really don’t believe you.

SuChin Pak 

And so I was thinking about this and we were laughing because you know there’s a house full of people just frozen at the doorbell. Nobody moving. My children have been well trained not to answer the door or move when the doorbell rings. And I was thinking about the time that I almost killed my father-in-law. Because of an unannounced visit.

Kulap Vilaysack  40:10

Yeah.

SuChin Pak 

So let that be a lesson. What is the lesson here? Don’t come into my house.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh yeah, no I hear it.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Okay, well that’s our show everybody but before we go, there was a game changer that came through to us it was a gift to us from Anderson .Paak and Bruno Mars. They’ve come together for a supergroup called Silk Sonic and if you haven’t heard the single, the lead single leave the door open or seen the scrumptious video. Do yourself a favor, please please please? Hear a little bit of leave that door open for that sexy, sexy groove.

SuChin Pak 

As always, everything that we talked about today can be found on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yes. And you can call us and leave a voicemail at 8334-LEMONADA that’s 833-453-6662

SuChin Pak 

I love leaving us messages. I try to do it often.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Bye everybody.

SuChin Pak 

Bye.

CREDITS

ADD TO CART is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producer is Claire Jones and our editor is Ivan Kuraev. The music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers are Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Also, please take a moment to rate review and subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcast.

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