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In 1999, the musician Bree Sharp released a single titled “David Duchovny,” off her debut album, A Cheap and Evil Girl. Despite it being the early days of the internet, the song — with its refrain “David Duchovny, why won’t you love me?” — found its way to me, as did the surprise music video that a bunch of people came together to make for our X Files Christmas party. In the time since, Bree and I have only spoken a handful of times — so for the first time, she and I sit down to talk about how and why she wrote the song, what it’s meant for her career, and all the thoughts I’ve been sitting on about the lyrics. Then, finally, Bree gives a full performance undisturbed by my commentary, and we time-travel back to the moment this first entered the world. Or maybe you just Want To Believe that.

The 25th anniversary edition of A Cheap And Evil Girl is available now on eco-friendly vinyl, and folks in New York and Pennsylvania can catch Bree on tour in April. Tickets can be found on her website, www.breesharp.com.

Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

David Duchovny, Bree Sharp, Donnie

David Duchovny  00:06

I’m David Duchovny, and this is Fail Better, a show where failure, not success, shapes who we are. Today’s guest is musician and actor Bree Sharp. Now if you’re listening to this podcast, there’s a good chance you know Bree as the writer and performer of a very particular song, a song called, I forget the exact now. David Duchovny is what it’s called For those unfamiliar breeze anthem, which rhymes my name with why won’t you love me, hovering above me and other phrases I had never thought of throughout the chorus. It’s an ode to admiring fictional characters, more specifically, my character on The X Files. It even had its own underground music video featuring dozens of celebrity cameos, and that was in 1999 so it was before the time of viral videos. But suffice it to say, it was viral in its own way. She’s also in a band called Beautiful Small Machines, with her longtime musical collaborator Don De Lego, aka Donny, who was in the studio with her. He was playing guitar and cracking some jokes, so you’ll hear from him as well. Breeze album, a cheap and evil girl, will be released on an eco friendly vinyl for the first time, marking its 25th anniversary. I wanted to sit down with Bree to explore the song that’s had a huge impact on both of our lives, and of course, let her perform it for all of you eventually. So here it is me and Bree Sharp and Donnie.

 

David Duchovny  01:37

Hello.

 

Bree Sharp  01:38

Hi.

 

David Duchovny  01:39

It’s nice to see you.

 

Bree Sharp  01:41

So sweet.  Have me out.  I know we need the fucking glasses now.

 

David Duchovny  01:45

Yeah, I’ll tell you. I don’t know if I ever told you or if you ever heard but the way that I got to know this song was a friend of mine named Joe Blake was doing a a kind of mockumentary about country music called Dil scallion. That was the name of the performer the country music has. Name was Dil Scallion. So Joe Blake comes back to me, and he was a producer on it. You know, it’s like a no budget film. I don’t know that it was ever completed. I never saw it. But Joe says there’s a song out there. There’s a song about you out there, because I guess they were soliciting, and I’m not saying that you’re country music, but they were soliciting, you know, country sounding music. They were soliciting new music. And so this came through to them somehow, and he sent it to me on a little cassette.

 

Bree Sharp  02:45

I knew it was okay. I was trying to I was, I was doing a podcast this week, actually, with Hank Green. I don’t know if you know who he is. He does deep dives on a lot of science stuff, and he did it. He’d ended up doing a deep dive on the video which was made, which we can talk about later. But I was trying to recall. I was like, I think David got it. He got it before the album was even out, and I think he got it on cassette. So thank you for verifying that.

 

David Duchovny  03:08

Which is on cassette. And I put it in the car cassette when that used to be a thing as well. And I I started listening to it, and I thought it was a really great song. I mean, it sounds silly, but like, you know, the lyrics were one thing, but I thought it was a really cool tune. I liked the tune, and I liked your voice, and it was funny to me that my name could rhyme with so many things I hadn’t thought about. And so I listened to it a lot. I’m embarrassed to say I listened to it a lot, and always on the way to work, you know.

 

Bree Sharp  03:43

But I think you got written up in the trades for listening, for getting caught listening to.

 

David Duchovny  03:48

No, I didn’t actually get caught. I outed myself with that because it was a joke.

 

David Duchovny  03:52

No, nobody actually but.

 

Bree Sharp  03:52

Okay.

 

Bree Sharp  03:55

Well, that was the plan for you to like, like the tune, like my voice, and all along. Just wait 25 years. That was the it’s the long con, it’s the long game.

 

David Duchovny  04:05

Yeah, and it worked. But yeah, there was one moment on pch where I might have had the window down, and I might have been singing along with it, and I might have been seen, but I think I made that up because I thought it was funny. But, and then the video happened. I can’t remember exactly whose idea was. I think it was this guy named Will shivers and a guy named Chuck for who were, who were working in some capacity on Carter’s assistance. I think they might have been, I know Chuck was and and Will’s actually a talented writer, and they just took it. I guess what I had done was I had shared the song with Chris, okay, and so that’s probably. Probably how Chuck heard it, and then chuck and will, or Chris, I don’t know whose idea was to kind of give this to me as a Christmas gift. They were going to make this video as a Christmas gift for me, or as, yeah, I think it was a Christmas gift. And so that was all going on, you know, behind my back. And then they, they got me on camera. I forget what they told me that they took, because I’m in the video. So it’s, it seems weird that I would appear in my own video, right, so.

 

Bree Sharp  05:31

But is a as a pop culture time capsule. It’s, it’s pretty crazy. So they, so go ahead.

 

David Duchovny  05:41

Yeah, so they, I forget what they told me to make me to.

 

Bree Sharp  05:46

Make you sing.

 

David Duchovny  05:47

No, I didn’t sing. I just, I just, it’s like my dream, right? That’s the idea.

 

Bree Sharp  05:52

It’s the Michael Jackson moment.

 

David Duchovny  05:54

Yeah, like, I’m this egotistical person dreaming of a world where there’s a song about me and then they wake me, wake you up.

 

Bree Sharp  06:01

But it’s like the moment in thriller when.

 

David Duchovny  06:04

Oh, right, yeah, that was.

 

Bree Sharp  06:06

At the camera.

 

David Duchovny  06:07

Yeah, forget that guy’s name. He was a, he was a set, set. Pa, nice guy, but that’s the last, the last images of him, right? So they did that, and they presented it to me, I think, like at our Christmas party or something, you know. And I just remember being mortified that that these people, some of whom I knew, you know, like Brad Pitt and Gary Shannon.

 

Bree Sharp  06:37

Gary Shanley popping out of the hot tub like a in the box.

 

David Duchovny  06:42

So I was mortified that my friends had been importuned to do this shit, you know, like it was like, I had asked them. I was like, I hope they know that it wasn’t me asking. So in the end, though, it’s, it is something that I I kind of treasure. I don’t. I can’t say that I watched it in the last 22 years, but I do treasure that it exists.

 

Bree Sharp  07:10

You should watch first of all the middle section. Well, can I share with you what it was like on my end as a young as a 22 year old who had written this song for you, um, in hopes of just simply getting your attention.

 

David Duchovny  07:30

Well, you got my attention. You and Donnie both got my attention.

 

Donnie  07:34

I told him not to write it.

 

Bree Sharp  07:36

He told you, okay. Not only did he tell me not to write it.

 

David Duchovny  07:39

No tell you not to write it because you don’t tell somebody not to write a song. He probably just said, that’s not a good song.

 

Bree Sharp  07:45

No, he told me. I said, I said, Donnie, have this idea. I want to write a song called David Duchovy, why won’t you love me? And he looked at me like, fucking Nostradamus. And he goes, if you write that song, you’re gonna be singing it for the rest of your life.

 

David Duchovny  08:03

Oh, Donnie knew that.

 

Bree Sharp  08:06

And he was like, that’s what, yes. And, you know, it was sort of a mixed blessing, because it was seen a little bit as a novelty song, even though the rest of the album, you know, was, yeah, right songwriter, now, I didn’t know. I don’t even think I really knew what a novelty song was. I wrote that from the heart.

 

David Duchovny  08:25

I understand it wasn’t the streak. You weren’t writing the streak.

 

Bree Sharp  08:29

Or some right, or whatever.

 

Donnie  08:34

You’re not weird. Alex, the reference is David Duchovy or the streak.

 

David Duchovny  08:39

Donny would have said, don’t do the streak.

 

Donnie  08:43

I would have got behind.

 

David Duchovny  08:46

You would have said no to Disco Duck. You would have said no to Yankovic.

 

Bree Sharp  08:50

But, yeah, so, but you know, the song wasn’t even out yet. The word had been that you had received it, which was, I mean, the album wasn’t out, which was crazy.

 

David Duchovny  09:02

Why didn’t you try to get it to me?

 

Bree Sharp  09:04

I was a kid. I didn’t know anything about the business. I didn’t I […]. It took deal scallion.

 

David Duchovny  09:12

So you didn’t know it was, it was a different world. It was harder to reach people. Let’s say, if it was today’s world, it would be very easy for you.

 

Bree Sharp  09:20

Yeah, and also it was, I’m so glad that it got to you organically. I mean, what a cool thing. And anyway, the these, the guys that made the video, called my manager and said, we want to make a Christmas video for David of the cast and crew, lip syncing the song for him. Can we use the song. And I’m like, I’m peeing my pants. I’m like, can you use it? Are you fucking kidding me? Of course you can use it. So time goes by and then they’re in LA and we’re in New York, and they show up at our managers loft with a VHS tape, and they say. We can’t leave this with you. And they said, We you will get a copy, but we can’t leave it with you. And then they proceed to play it, and the beginning is quite dark and grainy. And I, at the time, was studying to be an actor, and that was really what I wanted to do. I fell ass backwards into a music career. It’s not what it wasn’t what I was trying to do. And I’m like, geez, if they were gonna get anybody, like, why didn’t they get me? You know, there’s, it’s like, friends of will and Chuck. And I’m like, what it what is this like? I said, it’s dark and very low, low fi, and then the bridge comes along, and suddenly it’s, you know, smoking man and the lone gunman and Scully shows up, and I’m over the moon, and that would have been enough. Then it goes back to the random girls, and then all of a sudden, the outro starts, and there’s Janine Garofalo, and I was a huge comedy fan. I spent all my all my nights, instead of in college, instead of going out drinking, I was at the comedy cellar, which you probably know, on McDougal Street, Boston Comedy Club. And so I’m like, oh, my God, Janine raffle. And then it’s Jerry O’Connell, and then it’s Alex Trebek. And then it’s Charles Nelson Reilly, yeah, and then it’s George Clooney and Pamela Anderson. And yes, Brad Pitt, who, retrospectively, we know, was in his Tyler Durden outfit. I mean, that’s fucking cool and and then the one that really blew my mind was they managed somehow to get all four members of Kiss in full face makeup like what a strange smattering of of celebrities, Gary Shandling, Kevin Nealon, David Spade, there were some porno stars in there, yeah? And then you, and then Jerry Springer, it just kept coming. It just kept coming, it was nuts, yeah. And then they, and then they took the tape. I was like, no one’s gonna believe me. They took the tape just before the internet.

 

David Duchovny  11:57

Yeah, before the internet, yeah, um, there. There’s an argument to be made that that tape actually created the internet. I’m gonna say not Al Gore, but actually, that video created the Internet.

 

Bree Sharp  12:12

It’s possible, you know, the famous, uh, Bill Murray urban legend, that he’ll walk into a bar, yeah, and grab, like, grab some fries off a plate of someone like an unsuspecting person, stick them in his mouth and go, no one will ever believe you. Yeah, and then leave. That’s what I felt like. They brought this tape with, like every celebrity in the world, lip syncing my song, and then left with it.

 

David Duchovny  12:35

Well, you know, I was I was tickled. I was tickled by the existence of that tape too, and I still am. But let me ask you just a serious question, because Donnie said, don’t write that song. Do you write the lyrics first? Do you write how did? How did you write that song? Did you have the melody and the and the and the chords, or did you have the lyrics?

 

Bree Sharp  12:57

I wrote it with another songwriting partner, Simon Austin, great Australian musician from the band frente. And he was, I told him, You know, I’d had this, obviously, this big TV crush on you, on Mulder. And I said, I have this idea. After Donnie shot me down, you know, mom said, No, I went to dad. I said, I want to write this song. David Duchovny, why won’t you love me? But I’m not sure. And he goes, Well, you know, you create your own reality. And no one had said that to me before. I was the first time I heard that concept of, like, kind of making your own making your own way, making your own life. So Simon says, you create your own reality. And I was like, okay, let’s do it. And then I almost always write the melody first, so, but, but I had that couplet, so I think we probably started with that couplet melody, and then went from there. And it was so it was really fun. You know, I the reason I like to write, um, the lyrics after is because it’s like a puzzle. So you’ve got this framework of the melody, and then you have to figure out how you’re going to tell your story in a certain number, in a certain meter, so you only have a certain number of syllables to tell your tell the story that you want to tell. And I really enjoy that.

 

David Duchovny  14:19

Yeah, there’s there’s certain freedom and limitation in all art forms, I think. But also, I think you would have run into the problem, the fact that Mulder doesn’t rhyme with anything.

 

Bree Sharp  14:30

Give me a chance. Boulder shoulder.

 

David Duchovny  14:33

Well, there was, you know, there was a.

 

Bree Sharp  14:34

Folder who came older. Why won’t you hold her? I

 

David Duchovny  14:38

could do this. There was a I’m gonna go right back. Donnie, get on it. Don’t get.

 

Bree Sharp  14:50

My people working on this, yeah.

 

David Duchovny  14:51

Yeah, that’s always interesting to me, because, like in my experience writing songs, it’s kind of like back and forth. Forth, like I’ll have a few lines or a few or an idea that I like, and then I’ll just play around with chords and try to hear a melody. So it’s always interesting to hear a songwriting process, because it’s always very organic and personal, and no two songs of the same you.

 

Bree Sharp  15:16

Would do first?

 

David Duchovny  15:17

I don’t know. It’s just always different, but I like have chord progressions that are kind of impartial to or I’ve got a melody, the snatch of a melody, and then, you know, things come together or they don’t. I find that things come together quickly or they don’t. It’s rare that you know a song takes a long time.

 

Bree Sharp  15:35

Donnie doesn’t, didn’t. I think sting said, Every Breath You Take took him, like, six years or something like that. Is it that one?

 

Donnie  15:45

No, not every breath to take, but lots of songs. I mean, there’s no.

 

Bree Sharp  15:50

No, most of the songs on my album came out like a good poop. They just came right out. But then there are some that take, take a long time.

 

David Duchovny  15:58

Okay, we have our poll quote that’s perfect. That’s, that’s, that’s what we will use to advertise this segment.

 

Bree Sharp  16:06

Fantastic, just what I always wanted.

 

David Duchovny  16:08

You I think let’s just go through the song. Why don’t you, why don’t you start to play it?

 

Bree Sharp  16:46

All right, this is how this starts. Is how it started for me and Donnie. Donnie used to watch the show with me. We used to watch it together, really, yeah, we used to watch it together Sunday nights, I guess after a writing session, we’d get together on Sunday to write music and then shut it down to watch The X Files.

 

Donnie  17:06

That’s true.

 

Bree Sharp  17:09

It’s Sunday night.

 

David Duchovny  17:11

I want to stop you right there, because, you know, originally.

 

Bree Sharp  17:15

Get the fuck out of here.

 

David Duchovny  17:16

Originally it started airing on Friday night.

 

Bree Sharp  17:22

In what country?

 

David Duchovny  17:23

The United States of America.

 

Bree Sharp  17:26

The Gulf of America?

 

David Duchovny  17:27

Yeah, we were originally airing on Friday night, you know. So it kind of bumped me when I first heard the song, because I was like.

 

Bree Sharp  17:33

It bummed you out?

 

David Duchovny  17:34

Yeah, no, it didn’t bump me. It bumped me. It bumped me. Like they say, that’s what, that’s what executives like to say about, you know, when they watch something or read something, I got bumped. I got bumped out of the reality.

 

Bree Sharp  17:48

It took you out of the took me.

 

David Duchovny  17:49

Out of the space of like, it took you out of the play. Does this singer songwriter really know what she’s talking about? I don’t know. I started to distrust it immediately, but I know where you’re coming from, because it did go to Sunday night, but continue please go.

 

Bree Sharp  18:02

I wonder, you know, I don’t, I don’t think I was. I caught on to the X Files till probably season two.

 

David Duchovny  18:09

Well, that explains about Donnie, can you sing it’s Friday night? Can you just try it’s Friday night, and then it’s not Saturday, it’s not Saturday.

 

Bree Sharp  18:20

It’s Friday. I’m in love. No, it’s not that […]

 

David Duchovny  18:23

Just replace Sunday.

 

Bree Sharp  18:24

Just for you, just for you, David.

 

David Duchovny  18:26

And then continue on, if you.

 

Bree Sharp  18:29

He’s gonna rewrite my song. Son of a bitch. It’s Friday night,

 

David Duchovny  18:34

I gotta say that’s not bad.

 

Bree Sharp  18:36

No one more time it’s Friday. 2, 3, 4,  it’s Friday night. I am […] in my room, the TV live, fill fills my heart.

 

David Duchovny  19:04

I like that rhyme, balloon and room. Were you happy when you come up with that one?

 

Bree Sharp  19:11

Oh, you’re I’m getting points off for that now.

 

David Duchovny  19:13

No, no. I like it. New to me. It rhymes enough. It rhymes enough, okay. But I like it. I like the idea of filling a heart like a balloon. And I wonder if that’s oxygen or helium.

 

Bree Sharp  19:26

When you think it was the buoyancy, it was the buoyancy of utter lust and crushing.

 

David Duchovny  19:34

And take it from there.

 

Bree Sharp  19:36

Yes, sir, good God.

 

David Duchovny  19:40

123.

 

Bree Sharp  19:41

Where were we? It got done easier. I hold it in as best I can. I know I’m just another thing, but I can’t help feeling I could love this secret agent.

 

David Duchovny  20:02

You know, I, I’m not actually a secret I’m sorry. I, you know, I wasn’t actually a secret agent. That’s more of a James Bond thing. But I dig, I dig the secret.

 

Bree Sharp  20:14

You were agent you were doing, definitely doing [..] What do you think the X Files.

 

David Duchovny  20:18

Special agent, can you maybe change it to Special Agent Man.

 

Bree Sharp  20:22

David, I’ll do whatever you want.

 

David Duchovny  20:25

See if we can do that.

 

Bree Sharp  20:25

Donnie tuning, are you doing, Pentatonix?

 

David Duchovny  20:30

Oh, that’s exciting.

 

Bree Sharp  20:34

Okay, we’re gonna do special agent. Man, Friday night. Co written David Duchovny, why don’t you love me? CO written by David Duchovny. You ready? Start with the E minor. I hold it in.

 

David Duchovny  20:46

Oh, and let me, Can I just tell you that my name is actually pronounced Duchovny? Can you try that? Because I want to be, I want to be literal to my Russian or actually Ukrainian forebears.

 

Bree Sharp  20:59

This is actually this song actually was inspired by a Chekhov play called David Dutch Duchovny.

 

David Duchovny  21:08

Yeah, but anyway, well, we’ll you can do the American pronunciation.

 

Bree Sharp  21:12

No, let’s make this exactly how you want. This is your cake. I’m okay. And you can put my face, hold it in as best I can. I know I’m just another fan, but I can’t help feeling I could love this special agent man. Um, and and I can’t wait anymore for him to discover me. I got it bed for David Duchovny. Why won’t you love […] Are you changing this because of the political climate? Who saw you on David.

 

David Duchovny  22:03

Not at all. Oh, come on the Ukrainian side.

 

Bree Sharp  22:07

There, thank you. All right. Continuing.

 

David Duchovny  22:11

Yeah, please,  no comments on that section.

 

Donnie  22:15

Proceed.

 

Bree Sharp  22:16

Proceed. Okay, three, four. Always fine.

 

David Duchovny  22:23

I like it when I like when the 234, are in no way related to the beat that is actually coming.

 

Bree Sharp  22:29

That’s my specialty. 234, my friends all tell me, girl, you know, it’s just a show deep way […]  sorry, that’s one. I’m gonna interrupt myself because when I was practicing this song, I was for I was singing, and I thought it’s so funny to think of like a 22 year old walk college student, like walking around thinking about the FBI. Just just spending my days, just thinking about the FBI. I know nothing about okay, 234, The FBI is on my mind. I’m waiting for the day when my lucky stars, align […] form of David, will love me floating above me in the alien light of the spaceship of love on me. David to Duchovny, hovering above me. American Heathcliff rooting and calmly. David Duchovny […]

 

David Duchovny  23:57

Okay, that’s really that’s really nice, because, you know, American Heathcliff, you’re speaking, you were speaking to the lit major in me.

 

Bree Sharp  24:07

Are you kidding? That was, I was like, this is the one that’s gonna get him going […] this is how he’s gonna know going on me.

 

David Duchovny  24:15

Yeah, that was and, and calmly. That’s all working for me.

 

Bree Sharp  24:20

I think that’s my,  I’m gonna say that’s my favorite section. American Heathcliff, brooding and comely, yeah. It’s, I mean, it’s for, yeah, it’s for the brooding and coming also, this song was written for me and for you, and also for all the, all the nerds out there and other.

 

David Duchovny  24:44

I’m fucking with you today, but I do think it’s a beautiful song. And I do, aside from, you know what it’s about, I aside from, like, the superficial meaning, I get the heart underneath it, and I dig that. So let’s continue on.

 

Bree Sharp  25:02

Okay, you know, it’s funny. I do want to say, over the years, having to, having to sing this song, and then retiring it for a little while, just because I felt like, you know, I didn’t want to be known just as that. And then, and people, then there was a generation of people who maybe didn’t know the X Files and kind of wouldn’t get it, but revisiting it, and revisiting it, getting to getting to talk to you about it and look at you is is reminding me of just it’s taking me back to my dorm room and and watching you on TV and just thinking like, this guy’s this guy’s adorable. Where are we brooding and comely.

 

David Duchovny  25:50

Do you ever watch The Smothers Brothers where they’re playing a song? And I think it was the funny, the straight guy, I think, was Dick, and the wild man was Tom. And they do this thing where I think one plays banjo, one plays guitar, and one of them will go, and the straight man goes, take it. And Tommy goes, no, he goes, Why should I? Why you always like, no, no, I’m not gonna take it. American Eclipse, let’s take you. Never had a heckler like this.

 

Bree Sharp  26:22

I’ve had a lot of practice with Don didn’t want me to write the song, okay?

 

Donnie  26:29

So smooth and so […]

 

David Duchovny  26:31

I’m just wait. I’m like, wait, groovin. I’m just grooving here.

 

Bree Sharp  26:31

To start there, just moving so smart. Let’s go into it. […] Where are we? American Heath club, brooding and coming. Oh no, don’t you love me? Why won’t you love […] So smooth and so smart? He’s abducted my heart, and I’m falling apart from the looks I receive from those eyes. I can’t believe, well, you can say you’re naive, but he told me to believe. No comment?

 

Bree Sharp  27:21

But he told me to believe, yeah, wanna take it from there?

 

Donnie  27:26

2, 3.

 

David Duchovny  27:28

He take it, no.

 

Bree Sharp  27:29

[…] bags are packs. I am ready for my flight. Wanna put an end to my Daydream days and sleepless nights sitting like a mindless clone wishing he would tap my phone and just to hear the breath […]

 

David Duchovny  28:10

I don’t think I have a monotone.

 

Bree Sharp  28:12

But go on, keep going. Say that again?

 

David Duchovny  28:14

I don’t think I have a monotone.

 

Bree Sharp  28:16

So do you know Jacob silge? It’s a character that Will Ferrell does on SNL. And he’s, he talks like he’s a he talks very loud. He’s supposed to have voice and modulation disorder.

 

David Duchovny  28:28

Oh, really, do I have voice?

 

Bree Sharp  28:30

Yeah, he’s like a loud version of you. And she says, Jacob, you’re screaming. And he goes, how dare you, Tina.

 

David Duchovny  28:36

That’s that’s not the way I sound. But go ahead. Keep going.

 

Donnie  28:40

234.

 

Bree Sharp  28:41

Donnie’s cracking up. That’s not the way I sound.

 

Donnie  28:45

It’s the chorus.

 

Bree Sharp  28:47

The man, the myth, the […] won’t you love me? Why won’t you love me? Why don’t you love me? David to cut me. To David […]

 

David Duchovny  29:13

What happened? What happened to that line that I remember the dragon? Jewish? Yeah, where’d that go?

 

Bree Sharp  29:20

That was in the bridge. So it was basically cut because the bridge was about three times as long. Is that right? Donnie, yeah, I think it went around that meter. It ran around those bars three times, and the sign was already pretty long. It was about, it’s over four minutes.

 

David Duchovny  29:36

Why don’t we, why don’t we do the original bridge there? Go ahead, do it to me.

 

Bree Sharp  29:39

I would love to if I do. You have the words anywhere I haven’t heard I don’t even know if I have a copy of it. You may have to pull out your cassette. Donnie’s looking up. Donnie’s looking up something. Donnie, if you have this, I will be shocked, while Donnie looking this up, by the way.

 

Donnie  29:59

Yeah.

 

Bree Sharp  30:00

I was listening to your Peter just a side note. I was listening to your Peter Singer interview because, you know, I’m vegan and a big advocate.

 

David Duchovny  30:07

Oh, the you are releasing the song on eco friendly vinyl, I should say, right?

 

Bree Sharp  30:12

Yes, yeah, the whole album.

 

Donnie  30:16

I thought I had the demo somewhere. I got it somewhere.

 

Bree Sharp  30:18

It doesn’t have it. You have it. Do you know what the lyrics are? It’s, I’m asking you, David.

 

David Duchovny  30:24

Oh no, I think you rhyme toes with nose, something from my toes to my jagged Jewish nose. So I was like, Hey, okay, okay, I’m I’m digging the song, but like she’s going after a monotone, and now she’s going after my nose, like I’m beginning. I’m getting a little uncomfortable here, two, three anyway.

 

Bree Sharp  30:50

There was someone, you know. I mean, every good flirt has.

 

David Duchovny  30:54

Oh, you got to neg me little bit. Pull the pigtails. Okay? I think it’s time for me to shut up and to let you and Donnie, do your thing, and I want to hear.

 

Donnie  31:06

Bringing it home now.

 

Bree Sharp  31:07

Yeah, I’m gonna stand up for the end.

 

David Duchovny  31:08

Take it.

 

Bree Sharp  31:12

Okay, no, you’re good. Yep, where are we from? The end? Yep, so and I would say.

 

David Duchovny  31:22

the end, not from the end, not from the end. I want. I want this is like we’re going for the the full performance.

 

Bree Sharp  31:27

Now wait, what do you want?

 

David Duchovny  31:29

I want you to perform the song The way you intended to perform it when you came on today.

 

Bree Sharp  31:34

The entire song?

 

David Duchovny  31:35

Yeah, let’s do it.

 

Bree Sharp  32:06

All right from the top.

 

David Duchovny  32:10

no interruptions, please.

 

Bree Sharp  32:11

No interruptions. I enjoyed it much more than I thought I was going to professional I’m gonna.

 

David Duchovny  32:18

I wouldn’t go that far. But before you, before you go, I will say the last bit of lore about this that that tickles me is when we actually met in person. I was walking down the street in on Greenwich Avenue in New York City. I was shooting a movie called trust the man with my friend Bart Freundlich and right?

 

Bree Sharp  32:45

Julianne’s husband.

 

David Duchovny  32:47

Julianne Moore’s husband.

 

Bree Sharp  32:48

Yes, right.

 

David Duchovny  32:49

And out of the corner of my eye, I see a figure rushing at me. And I’m from New York. It’s New York, so I immediately assume a defensive posture, a fighting posture, because it feels like some kind of random attack is going to happen. And when my eyes focus, this dark blur is coming at me, saying, I’m Bree Sharp. I’m Bree sharp.

 

Bree Sharp  33:17

That’s not how it happened. I’m going to tell my side of this.

 

Donnie  33:20

Oh no, the story.

 

David Duchovny  33:24

And I was like, oh, you’re Bree sharp. Oh, okay, that’s it. That’s my entire story. How’d it happen for you? You came out of the bar, right? You came out of a bar I was just walking by.

 

Bree Sharp  33:34

Well, here’s a side note, and tell and tell me if, if you knew this on your end, and, or if it just went from my people to your people, and it never got to you. But one of the things that I lament is, you know, the reason that my star was on the rise because of this song and the attention it was getting, and, and then my label went bankrupt middle of the album cycle. I don’t know if you know that.

 

David Duchovny  34:02

No, I did not, but yes.

 

Bree Sharp  34:04

So the other the the other thing, the other thing that disappeared was that we never got to meet. And so the whole point was like, I wrote this song so that I could meet you as a peer and not just another fan, as it says in the lyrics. And then few and then the years were going by, and people would say, oh, you know, my cousin were met him on the Fox lot. And I’d be like, That’s great for your cousin. And then my view that, oh, my friend ran into him here. And I’d be like, that’s like, Fuck your friend. Like I just didn’t want to hear it anymore, because I was like, it’s never going to happen. We’re never gonna meet. And that time, people, I was living in the West Village, and people were telling me I saw David working out at Equinox.

 

David Duchovny  34:52

Yeah, it was by Equinox.

 

Bree Sharp  34:53

Okay, so this is the side that you don’t know. This isn’t this is funny that I get to tell you this. So they tell. Me, he’s at Equinox. And I’m like, you know, Equinox is a she, she gym. I do not have a membership to Equinox. And I’m like, Well, I don’t have a membership to Equinox, so I’m never gonna meet him. And I was like, I don’t care. I don’t even care anymore. Had to, you know, compartmentalize. So Donnie and I are out to dinner. Oh, Donnie was there. Donnie was there. Oh, yeah, I could tell you the story too, yeah, and there’s another.

 

David Duchovny  35:25

Two to one here on the story.

 

Bree Sharp  35:28

And all this. And the window the Italian restaurant, the rest was Italian, yeah, it was a restaurant, and it had big windows, all that went all along the side of it on Greenwich Avenue. And all of a sudden, we’re eating dinner, and all of a sudden, there goes David to Coveney walking by. And I was like, Oh my God. I said that’s David Duchovny. What do I do? What do I do? Do I go? Like, do I go? And they’re like, yeah, yeah, go. But by time I had hemmed and hawed, I was halfway down the street. I go through the restaurant, I go through the double doors of the restaurant, I get out on the street and you’re a block and a half away, and I’m like, What am I gonna do? Run after this, ma’am. So I start running. So I start running. I run down the street. I’m like, getting in within distance of you, and you bust into Equinox. Oh, I don’t have, you don’t know this part of the story.

 

David Duchovny  36:23

Okay, that’s, this is pre the meat, because I was what I know I was walking away from Equinox, correct? Yes. Okay, I got that, right. I got that.

 

Bree Sharp  36:31

That’s correct, yes. So I bust past the registration desk. Don’t have a member. I don’t have a membership. I’m about to tap you on the shoulder, and you walk into the men’s locker room, and I’m standing there with this look on my face of like, just absolute horror, like, I’m never gonna meet him. Like, how is it possible that he was within my grasp, and now there he goes, and all of a sudden I hear a voice go, oh, Bree. And it was like, someone from college who had, like, saw the whole thing and like, I’m still chasing you seven years later. And I was like, Whoa, can you talk to me for a minute? Like, what happens? Like, once you go in the locker room, are you, are you in the gym? Or does he have to come back out to, like, go to the gym? Like, you know what happens? And we’re talking for a minute, and a minute later you come out wearing nothing but a towel.

 

David Duchovny  37:27

I was going out of the pool.

 

Bree Sharp  37:29

And that was not a big bath towel, it was a little gym towel. And I’m standing there going, and at this point in the story, people are like, well, oh, and so I just let you, like, walk it into the gym. I didn’t say a word.

 

David Duchovny  37:44

No, I didn’t walk into the gym in my bath towel. I walked downstairs to the pool.

 

Bree Sharp  37:48

I’m so what I mean is, you went from the locker room to the next.

 

David Duchovny  37:53

I wasn’t parading around the gym in my Speedo.

 

Bree Sharp  37:56

No, I, and I don’t mean to, I did not mean to suggest that at all you were, you had a mission. You were not parading, yeah. But the point is, is that I’m standing there, and I do say at this point in the story, David, I will tell you that whatever crush had dwindled over those years when you came out in your towel, I was like, okay, kids taking care of himself. He’s doing the he’s doing the yoga.

 

David Duchovny  38:21

He’s going,

 

Bree Sharp  38:22

Yeah, okay, so you go into the gym, or you go into the pool, and I leave, and people are like, Why are you not? Why didn’t you say anything? And I was like, I just was not gonna have this just have this man be half naked while I walk up to him and say, I’m the girl who wrote the song about you. I just thought that would be terrible. So I go back to dinner dejected, head down, shoulders stooped, and they’re like, what happened? What happened? Like he came out in a towel. I didn’t say anything. And I’m like, what was he doing? Was he getting was he getting a massage? Was he going swimming? How long does it take? Like is he gonna come back this way? 20 minutes later? I don’t know how long what you were doing, but 20 minutes later, dry hair and all there comes David Duchovny walking back, and I said, okay, I’m going. I get up, I go through the restaurant, I go through the double doors, and just as I’m coming out, there you are. And my memory of it is that I said, stop.

 

David Duchovny  39:23

Oh, yeah.

 

Bree Sharp  39:24

You have to stop walking by.

 

David Duchovny  39:28

That’s possible, yeah.

 

Bree Sharp  39:29

And you looked at me, yes, like, you know, hesitant, and I said, Hi. And you said, Hi, like with the face, you know, put out my hand and I said, Bree, and you said, Hi, and I said, sharp. And you said, we finally meet. And I said, we finally meet.

 

David Duchovny  39:51

Okay, I like your story better. It’s a good story, okay.

 

Bree Sharp  39:56

All right. It’s Sunday night. I am curled up in my room. The TV light fills my heart like a balloon. I hold it in as best I can. I know I’m just another thing, but I can’t help feeling I could love this secret agent man, and I can’t wait anymore for him to discover me. I got it bad for David Duchovny, David Duchovny, why won’t you love me? Why won’t you love me? Friends all tell me, girl, you know, it’s just a show. Deep breath in his eyes see me wrapped up like a boat watching the sky for us, the FBI is on my mind, waiting for the day when my lucky stars in the form of David Duchovny, floating above me in the alien light of the spaceship of the honey. David Duchovny, hovering above me, American Heathcliff, brooding and calmly. David Duchovny, why won’t you love me? Why won’t you love me? So smooth and so smart. He’s abducted my heart, and I’m falling apart from the looks I receive from those eyes. I can’t leave. Well, you can say I’m naive. He told me to believe. My bags are packed. I am ready for my flight. Wanna put em in to my Daydream days and sleepless nights sitting like a mindless clone wishing me would tap my phone just to hear the breath of the man and I would say, David Duchovny, why won’t you love me? Why won’t you love me? Why won’t you love me? David Duchovny, why won’t you love me? Why don’t you love me? David Duchovny, I want you to love me, to kiss and to hug me, to brief and debug me. David Duchovny and now you can love me. I’m Sweden, I’m Catholic. I’m gonna kill Skye and [….] I’ll be waiting in Nevada. Oh David.

 

David Duchovny  44:09

Thank you. That was beautiful.

 

Bree Sharp  44:12

This was lovely.

 

David Duchovny  44:13

Honestly, all bullshitting aside and jokes aside the song, it’s really cool to have a song about yourself and for it to be a great song at the same time. So, you know, aside from the nostalgia, aside from all that stuff, it’s just, it’s a real gift for me. Know that personally, not that I listen to it all the time or anything like that, but it was something. And thank you.

 

Donnie  44:43

Is he talking about the streak?

 

CREDITS  44:55

Thanks so much for listening to Fail Better if you haven’t yet, now is a great time to subscribe to Lemonada Premium. You’ll get bonus content, like my thoughts on conversations with guests including Alec Baldwin and Rob Lowe. Just hit the subscribe button on Apple podcasts, or for all other podcast apps, head to lemonadapremium.com to subscribe. That’s lemonadapremium.com. Fail Better is a production of Lemonada Media in coordination with King Baby.  It is produced by Kegan Zema, Aria Bracci, and Dani Matias. Our engineer is Brian Castillo.  Our SVP of weekly is Steve Nelson. Our VP of new content is Rachel Neel.  Special thanks to Carl Ackerman, Tom Karpinski and Brad Davidson, the show’s executive produced by Stephanie Wittels Wachs, Jessica Cordova Kramer and me, David Duchovny.  The music is also by me and my band. Lovely Colin Lee. Pat McCusker, Mitch Stewart, Davis Rowan and Sebastian […].  You can find us online at @LemonadaMedia and you can find me @DavidDuchovny.  Follow Fail Better wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.