A Marriage Conversation (Part 2)
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Description
It’s time for part two of the long-awaited conversation between Jaime and Michael! This time, they cover what Michael thought when Jaime told him she is bisexual, his reaction when she told him she was pregnant for the first time, how they deal with having very different love languages, if Jaime’s transparency bothers Michael, and much more.
FYI: Tell Me What to Do contains mature language and themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
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For additional resources, information, and a transcript of the episode, visit www.lemonadamedia.com/show/tmwtd
Transcription
SPEAKERS
Michael Sullivan, Rachel, Jackson, Jaime Primak Sullivan
Jaime Primak Sullivan 00:00
Everybody thinks it is so hard being married to me. It must be so hard. She’s so much.
Michael Sullivan
Hell yeah.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I smack your ass once a day. I smack it like 50 times in one session.
Michael Sullivan
That thing between your legs is the most dangerous thing you will ever have.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh my god.
Michael Sullivan
I will flirt if approached.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You let them touch your butt?
Michael Sullivan
I would, but I haven’t.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
He’s as freaky as I am.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Hey, guys, you’re listening to TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I’m still Jaime Primak Sullivan. And we’re continuing our conversation with my husband, Michael. Michael and I are back to answer more of your questions about our relationship. And a couple of things. Michael, there’s a few things people want to know at the top, which is interesting, huh? How did you feel when I didn’t want to drop Primak from my name? Did you care?
Michael Sullivan
No.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Not at all?
Michael Sullivan
I didn’t notice.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
What?
Michael Sullivan
Well, everyone who gets married keeps their maiden name?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, that’s a southern thing.
Michael Sullivan
Well, in the south, I mean, my mother is Carol.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
something, something?
Michael Sullivan
Something, something. But..
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, so Louise, isn’t she?
Michael Sullivan
No.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, that’s a southern thing. Just so you know.
Michael Sullivan
So when she know. So, I didn’t notice.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Now, let me ask you. Would you have cared if I didn’t want to take Sullivan at all?
Michael Sullivan
No, I wouldn’t.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Really?
Michael Sullivan
I mean, if you want to walk around being called Primak, go right ahead.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I do, actually. I mean, I’m glad I have the same last name as my children. Of course I am.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yeah, I would have drawn the line there.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
At the kids? Well, I wouldn’t have asked that. I never would have asked you that. No. I mean, I think it was a perfect compromise to become. I didn’t really love my middle name anyway. Do you know my middle name?
Michael Sullivan 02:10
I do, you have to give me a second.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
What is it?
Michael Sullivan
You have to give me a minute. Elise.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yes, good job. Okay. Michael, how did you feel? And I don’t know why people think you have an opinion about this. Maybe because you’re Southern. And they think there’s a stigma perhaps that Southern people feel away or maybe they just I don’t know, maybe because you’re more conservative or they believe you are, by the way not, he’s as freaky as I am. How did you feel when you found out I was bisexual?
Michael Sullivan
I mean, are all women?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No. I mean, I think so. But no, turns out they’re not. You didn’t care?
Michael Sullivan
No.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Do you remember how or when you found out?
Michael Sullivan
We were in LA, We had a conversation about it, or something. I think you asked me to come out and meet a girl.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And what I asked you to do?
Michael Sullivan
And I said no. I’ve been there done that. I’m good.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yep, he did. And I was like, wait, but you like me? And he was like, exactly. I’ll be here when you get back. He took me to the airport to go see her. You probably don’t remember that. But you dropped me off at the airport, that trip. And that’s when I realized I really liked him because I had always really liked her. And he dropped me off at the airport to go see her.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And while I was out there with her, I missed him. And I texted him and asked him to come to LA and even tried to like entice him with a threesome. And he was like yeah, now I’ll see you when you get back by have a good time. Don’t text me again. I was like, damn.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 04:04
How did you feel Michael about the fact that we couldn’t stop getting pregnant?
Michael Sullivan
No worries. first one’s a life changer after that. It’s just a number. As long as we we’re in the weeds. I was fine with being in the way. For out. I don’t want to be back in the weed.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
When I told Michael I was pregnant with Olivia. He came home from his golf bachelor trip. It was the weekend before our wedding. We’re obviously very good Catholics. And do you remember I gave you the pregnancy test? And he said, Who’s this? And I was like, it’s mine. And he said, How did this happen? And I thought, oh, if we got if that’s the question, then we got problems.
Michael Sullivan
Oh, no, but back up. I mean, you told me in March. Hey, I’ve been on birth control. I’m going to go off birth control because if we’re gonna think about having kids, my doctor said, I probably need to cycle it out of my system. It takes six months or so. You know. So that was the reason how did this happen. You led me to believe that medically, it was not possible.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I didn’t okay. No.
Michael Sullivan
Yes, you did.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, I was just giving you the information that Dr. Huggins gave me. And that was, you’ve been on birth control for 15 years. If you go off in March, it could take months for you to get back.
Michael Sullivan
But you conveyed it to me as if it were factual science. That’s why I had that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And when you went into your closet and disappeared, which is what you did. When I said I’m, it’s all it’s us, Michael, we are pregnant. This is what’s happening. You got up and you went into the closet to unpack your stuff from the weekend. We’re you thinking holy fuck, or we’re you thinking like, wow.
Michael Sullivan 06:08
To be honest with you, I don’t recall.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Did it take a while for you to get excited?
Michael Sullivan
You know, I don’t know if it. You know, you would say it was excitement. But it was just Okay, good. Next step.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Because you didn’t think you’d have kids?
Michael Sullivan
Correct.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And then..
Michael Sullivan
You didn’t think so either.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I know, I made you get your sperm. I was already pregnant. Oh, my God. True story is I didn’t know. I well, because here’s the thing. Michael was 43 when we got married and had never gotten anyone pregnant, and where I come from, almost everybody I knew had been pregnant in high school or like college, you know, college Jackson’s like, I’m gonna just keep nodding. This is fucking awful. But like, you know, I’m not saying Jersey people are like, easy. Certainly like.
Michael Sullivan
Yes, that’s what you’re saying.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, I’m not. I’m just saying like,
Michael Sullivan
Not easy, but
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I’m just saying like..
Michael Sullivan
Careless..
Jaime Primak Sullivan
43 and never getting anyone pregnant. I just thought maybe he couldn’t get anyone pregnant. So I encouraged him.
Michael Sullivan
No, because when I was 15 my father had a conversation with me about the birds and the bees. And the one thing that left an impression is he said, that thing between your legs is the most dangerous thing you will ever have. So if you’re gonna stick it in somebody. You need to be married. And damn sure cover it up.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And you did, you covered it up. Because you even cover it up with me for a long time. I was like, oh my lord, how long are we going to use condoms for this guy. But I didn’t really understand that you had just lived a life of protection.
Michael Sullivan
Well, that in selves, you know, I’m saving myself.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 08:13
You know? Why if you don’t shut up, okay, so I did ask him to go get a sperm checked. And he probably was like, I’m surprised you really did it. I really thought you were gonna just lie to me and say you went, but you really did it. That was very thoughtful of you. Honestly, because there was no reason for you to believe that you were not fertile.
Michael Sullivan
Correct.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
But you did it. I really did not think he was I was like, I’m gonna tell him to do this. And he’s probably gonna be like you okay? I went and did that thing. You told me all good here, you know, but he really did it. Because they called him we’re like in your sample. You have 99 million bajillion sperm. And he was like, I don’t think we’re gonna have a problem. And then I was like, oh, by the way, we’re pregnant.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
What did you okay? What did you think when I came home and asked told you that I wanted to do a reality show. Had you had any experience with reality shows? Meaning, did you? Had you seen any? Did you know what they were?
Michael Sullivan
No clue.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And for someone who’s not on social media and doesn’t live like a public life, why would you agree to be on a reality show?
Michael Sullivan
It was something you wanted to do. I didn’t see any big harm in it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Even though every person in your life was like, Don’t do this. We don’t want you to do this. Don’t do this. We don’t want you to do this.
Michael Sullivan
That was on them. I didn’t have any issues with it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Did you have any idea like what it would be like?
Michael Sullivan
No, I really didn’t have a clue. But I mean, once you get used to being mic’d up, it wouldn’t pick up an intrusion at least for me. I mean, you know, I was a minor, bit player but..
Jaime Primak Sullivan 10:10
Are you glad it didn’t go on and on and on?
Michael Sullivan
Either way, whichever way you want it to work out.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
If you don’t stop breathing like that. I’m gonna fucking kill you. Because people are gonna think you really breathe like that they’ll edit it but he does not breathe like that.
Michael Sullivan
Breathe like what?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Like, like sucking in giant gasps of air like you have COVID or something? Did you get paid to do JERSEY BELLE?
Michael Sullivan
No.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Did you have any issues like..
Michael Sullivan
Do I need to be paid?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I haven’t deposited..
Michael Sullivan
Some back money out here?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I had them put it into my account. Do you still have people who stop you?
Michael Sullivan
You know real talent, does it for the love of theater.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, is that what it is? Okay. Oh my God. Oh my God, this is people are now really going to be like she should divorce him. Do you still have people who asked you about it? Or bring it up to you or anything?
Michael Sullivan
Yeah. I mean, occasionally not, you know, once every couple months, but nothing.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Do you ever have people be like, “Are you Jaime’s husband?”
Michael Sullivan
I do.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
People want to take pictures with you?
Michael Sullivan
Not, Not recently, but yeah, they have in the past?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Do you usually say yes? Do you let them touch your butt?
Michael Sullivan
I would with but I haven’t.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You would? You have a great butt.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. All right. So you guys have a ton of questions for him. Before we get to those questions. We’re going to take a quick break.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
We’re back listener. Question number one. Our first question comes from a listener named Kathy who reached out on Facebook and asked:
Jaime Primak Sullivan
“Does Michael understand your love language? If so, what are some of the things he is aware of? And what has he done to show you this understanding?”
Jaime Primak Sullivan 12:08
Well, Kathy, I’m glad you asked. No, Michael does not understand my love language. We have extremely different love languages. If you’re not familiar with love languages, they are physical touch, verbal affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service. My love language is physical touch. Michael’s love language is acts of service. So when I want Michael to hug me, he takes out the garbage. When I need to feel secure or close to him, or loved. And I need him physically close to me and want him to like love on me. He takes the kids out of the house for a couple hours so I can have alone time. These are the ways he shows me he loves me.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
So he walks right past my love language into his own. He operates. Michael is so emotionally independent, that he does not have other people awareness. He is Michael centric, not in a selfish way. But he is just extremely self-aware of what is. The reason he’s not insecure is because he operates consistently in a space that’s in his box. No way I can be insecure, because I’m not going to go out of this box of security and do the things she’s asking me to do that feel to outside my comfort zone. So he is the most confident man in the world because he lives within four emotional walls that he does not venture out of.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
The few times he does wade into the waters of my needs, like my love language, you can see it in his face. He does not like it; he does not feel secure. It’s like a person who can swim but not great. And they start to drift into that weird slopey part of the pool that leads to the deep end and you kind of see them panicking a little bit. That’s him. So that is Michael, when you ask him for a hug, he freezes up, he gives you one arm turns his body to the side and like you have to navigate what he’s offering. He’s just not.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
It will never ever, ever be natural for him to think Jaime needs me to love on her. So the way in which I will do that is to hug and kiss her and hold her in my arms and tell her I love her. That’s just not ever going to happen. You know, like in The Notebook. Do you remember at the end of The Notebook? Jackson’s looking at me going Dear God, don’t ask me if I saw The Notebook. Please don’t make me tell these people. I didn’t see it. Did you see the notebook?
Jackson 14:48
No.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh my god. At the end of The Notebook, fuck Jackson. They’re in a nursing home together. And at the end of The Notebook. They’re lying-in bed. Like, they keep them apart because she has dementia and he’s not, you know, they’re old. And he sneaks into her room at night and lays with her, because he knows it’s what she needs. The Notebook starring Michael and Jaime would be Jaime old in a nursing home lying in bed and Michael’s sneaking past to see if they’re, you know, if he could get me a drink. You know what I mean? It would never be to climb in bed and hold me. That just wouldn’t occur to him. Do you think I’m right?
Michael Sullivan
I do you think you’re right.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yes.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Do you know that I have this conversation with you once a quarter and I beg you and ask you and beg you and you always say like, Yes, I hear you. Yes, I’ll try. Do you know that?
Michael Sullivan
I do know that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And do you know that like, you don’t try?
Michael Sullivan
I do try.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You do?
Michael Sullivan
Absolutely.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Are you trying with me? Or is there some sort of like simulator that you’re going to like? Where is the trying?
Michael Sullivan 16:04
It’s trying.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Do you really, are you being sincere?
Michael Sullivan
Yeah.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You think you try to love me in my love language?
Michael Sullivan
No, I try to hear you and you convey it to me.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You try to hear me? Have you ever tried to love me in my love language?
Michael Sullivan
Absolutely. There has to be a time. What about..
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Remember Charlie’s to do that “what about..”
Michael Sullivan
What about at the beach this summer?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, Michael. I was like suicidal. He is referring to the time at the beach when I was. I was so broken emotionally and like, literally hysteria. I was like sobbing. To the point that my children were like, nervous for me. They didn’t know what was going on. You did hold me in your arms. But I think it might have been because you thought I was going to go off the deep end
Michael Sullivan
No, because you needed it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Really? Then why are you laughing?
Michael Sullivan
You’re laughing.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Cuz you’re laughing. Really? You held me in your arms because I need it.
Michael Sullivan
Yes. I restate my motion.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. Okay. So that. Okay, you know what? I’m gonna give it to you. I’m gonna give it to you that one time in 17 years. Because I needed it.
Michael Sullivan 18:17
I got some.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. Do you think I love you in your love language the way you receive love?
Michael Sullivan
Oh, how do I receive love? Through service?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Acts of service, yes.
Michael Sullivan
Maybe? sometime?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well, I definitely love you more through mine.
Michael Sullivan
Correct.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I how many times a day, real talk, do I smack your ass?
Michael Sullivan
Once? Twice?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You’re a liar. Oh my god, you have to tell the truth.
Michael Sullivan
I’m telling the truth.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I smack your ass once a day? I smack it like 50 times in one session. In one passing by. How many times do I hug you first?
Michael Sullivan
All the time.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. How many times do I kiss you first?
Michael Sullivan
Most of the time.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You do hold my hands at night. That’s like your one thing that you do. He probably resolve that is mine just hold her hand she’ll leave me alone. So to answer your question, Kathy, we have very different love languages. And we it is an ongoing hurdle in our marriage. I wouldn’t say it’s a problem, but I would definitely say it’s a hurdle.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
This next question comes from a listener named Shauna she writes:
Jaime Primak Sullivan
“We’ve heard how your relationship is with Michael’s family mainly father Bob. Does Michael have a similar relationship with anyone in your family?”
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No.
Michael Sullivan
She has a family?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Exactly. No, he doesn’t. He likes my mom from a distance. No, you know, I mean, listen, I’m allowed to take and it’s all he can do to kind of like, manage my…
Michael Sullivan 20:15
But I get along with everyone in your thing. Put in that position..
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yes, correct you do. We just don’t see my family really much so. But yes, he loves my Uncle Phil. He likes my cousin Johnny like, yeah, the outliers. Question number three. This next question comes from a listener named Rachel who called us and left us a voicemail. So let’s take a listen to what she had to say.
Rachel
Hi, Jaime. My question is, what do you find to be the thing that makes your marriage work the most? What do you each feel are your strengths that you bring into your marriage and your weaknesses? Jaime and Michael, tell me what you think. I love you both. Especially you, Jaime.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, Rachel, first of all, I love you too. And I want to address the first part, you said what do we find to be the thing that makes our marriage work? Honestly, I’m being like dead ass, distance, independence and distance. Even when we’re together, we’re very busy apart. When you say that’s true. And we have never, ever tried to hinder the other person’s desire to travel, to do things. You know, my going to Jersey and sitting in Courtney’s House is Michael’s going to play golf in Ireland, you know, I don’t have the same hobby, per se, but the need to go do something that fills me.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I’ll never get why he wants to carry a golf bag around 18 holes, and just try to keep hitting a ball into a hole like I’ll never get it. And he will never understand why I would leave our beautiful home, to fly to Jersey to sleep in Courtney’s basement.
Michael Sullivan
At least get a hotel.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 22:31
Right. Well, he can’t stand that I stay in people’s houses. He’s a hotel guy, he cannot stand that I stay in other people’s space, which is why we finally decided to buy a house in New Jersey. But wouldn’t you say that’s one big thing that makes this marriage work?
Michael Sullivan
That’s probably the big thing other than just respect for each other.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yes.
Michael Sullivan
But yeah, that would be the big thing.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And you know that in all the years we’ve been married, we’ve never cursed at each other. This is the healthiest relationship I have. Because I respect him so much. And I’ve never really said anything to him I can’t take back. All right, or I wish that I needed to take back does that make sense? Like you know how you say things when you fight with someone in your life? You fucking Miss? Are you pieces, you know, whatever. Never. We just don’t talk to each other that way. We never have. The second part of the question is what do you feel are your strengths? And then what do you feel is your weakness? Okay, what do you think is your strength in this marriage? In our relationship, you and me, not the kids.
Michael Sullivan
Stability. The fact that you know that I’ll always love you. No matter what, that’s probably the biggest.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
That is wonderful. It really is. I’m very lucky. I would say my strength in this relationship and our marriage together is even though it is in his love language. I do think that he feels loved every single day. Like, I actively love him like a verb every single day. I tell him I love him every day I show him I love him. Like I like verb as a verb. I love him every day. Do you feel loved every day?
Michael Sullivan 24:26
I do.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Do you know you’re loved?
Michael Sullivan
I do know that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Like if I died in a car accident, God forbid, you would absolutely know how loved you were?
Michael Sullivan
I would.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And what would you say is your weakness? Let’s see how honest you’re willing to be
Michael Sullivan
Selfish. I can be very selfish still. Yeah, especially when it comes to time. So that’s probably my biggest..
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Meaning what?
Michael Sullivan
Meaning even though you’ve been traveling, I’ve been here with the kids, you know, if I’ve got something that I’ve been looking forward to do, even though you come home you know, I’m gonna choose to go continue to do that rather than And that’s, you know, it can be tough sometimes on the other party, but it is what it is.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I would say that when I don’t feel like I’m get being loved the way I need to be loved I emotionally unattached myself from you. I’m like, fuck it. We’ll be roommates. I don’t give a shit. I’m very good at doing that. Like I never stopped praying for you as my baby daddy, I never stopped praying for you as like I always want you to be healthy and whenever I always include you in my prayers, but when I feel disappointed in the marriage or frustrated with you, I don’t pray for you as your wife with intention like I’m like, I don’t give a fuck. I just detach. And then I start looking at pictures of beautiful women on my Instagram page and think well, I’ll just go get a girlfriend. My go to is to detach. I don’t love that about myself. That’s the Scorpio in (UNCLEAR)
Jaime Primak Sullivan 26:24
Okay….
Michael Sullivan
My love language is better.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
There’s no such thing as better. It’s just different.
Michael Sullivan
But the trash always has to go out.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well, also people need to be hugged and kissed Michael. Yeah. People with a pulse.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Question number four. This question comes from a listener who says:
Jaime Primak Sullivan 26:53
“Jaime you are a strong woman charismatic, alive, vibrant, yet adorable and loving.” I like her. “Michael, is this what drew you to her? later down the road? Do you still feel that deep love? Or does it become a challenge for you? Where you might feel put off? by all of the things that make her Jaime?
Michael Sullivan
Yes, that’s what drew her to me.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, drew you to me. Wise ass.
Michael Sullivan
I would agree. But no, it would never be off putting to me. I mean, it’s the reason that I was first attracted to her and remains, you know, one of the big reasons I stay attracted.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, so okay. Well, that makes me happy.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
This email comes from a listener named Tamara; she has an interesting question for Michael. She asks, Michael, your voice is unusual. It’s the kind of voice that makes women melt just by saying excuse me, can I help you?
Jaime Primak Sullivan 28:06
Oh, for fuck sake.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Are men with these types of voices aware of the effects their voice has? And do they use it for good? or evil? So I guess what she’s asking you is are you aware that you have a voice that women find sexy? Tell the truth.
Michael Sullivan
When I travel, or when I’m outside of the South, Yes. I get comments on it. But in the south, I do not know, I was not aware that it had that effect on women in the south, per se. But it’s different. So yes, I’m in California or in Michigan or you know, New Jersey, It’s something they do not hear often. So I can imagine it would be I don’t know if it’s alluring, but it would be different.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
So you’ve had people say to you stuff about your voices when your voice and your accent and stuff when you travel?
Michael Sullivan
Yes.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Women?
Michael Sullivan
Yes, and man. I mean..
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And what do you say when a woman says comments on your voice?
Michael Sullivan
You know me I’m very talkative. So..
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, but I also know you’re extremely charming when I’m not around, Michael.
Michael Sullivan
Well, I’ll say something charming.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, let’s just be honest. You flirt?
Michael Sullivan
I don’t have a pat line that I’ve replied with.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
But you do flirt? Let’s not pretend like you don’t flirt like attractive woman comes to you.
Michael Sullivan
I will be nice to some folks. Yes, I will. But it’s not my nature. I mean, I will flirt if approached but I’m not going to go into a space and then become a flirt. No, that’s not.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 30:03
So if a woman approaches you and says hello, and you say hello back and she’s like, wow, your voice is like, wow, that’s sexy.
Michael Sullivan
Yes, I would continue to talk to her.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Good for you, you slut. I like it. Okay. Do you then go like my wife is the JERSEY BELLE and she’s kicked the shit out of you? Or do you just go like, I’m not married. Do you take your ring off?
Michael Sullivan
No.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
They probably like you more because you are married. So sad.
Michael Sullivan
It’s protection for.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 30:35
Yeah, right. Oh, yeah. Because nobody ever slept with a married man.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Jamie is Michael aware and does he use it to his advantage? I think I bring it up more than he does. It’s weird for me. Because anytime one of my friends or anyone hears him on speaker or FaceTime, they’re always like, Whoa, he’s voice. And people on CAWFEE TALK. Always like his voice is so sexy. I mean, yes, I definitely think there is something to a man with a deep voice. You know, my dad had a very deep voice too. So like, it’s hard for me to sexualize it because it’s just like, weird.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
But, I mean, yeah, you do have a very sexy voice. I don’t like your accent. But I’ve been honest with you about that. It’s very twangy to me. You know, but that you can’t help that it’s just the way you it’s regional. But I’m sure you’ll love the way I talk all the time. I’m sure. I’m sure my accent is not like the sexiest.
Michael Sullivan
I don’t hear it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You don’t?
Michael Sullivan
I hear it, but I just don’t hear it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, all right, we have just a few more questions. So before we get to the last three, we’re gonna take a quick break.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 32:01
Okay, guys, you’re back with Jaime and Michael. So exciting. Listener question number six. This question comes from a listener named Sean, who emailed us to ask:
Jaime Primak Sullivan
“How do you deal with opposition in your marriage? Especially when it comes to parenting? Are there subjects you just not do not see eye to eye on? And what do you all do when you don’t agree on how to approach a situation?”
Jaime Primak Sullivan
There are many parenting subjects we do not see eye to eye on. I think there’s probably more we don’t see eye to eye on than we do. Right?
Michael Sullivan
Right.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Why do you think you’re such a laid-back parent, because you are not raised by laidback parents. You had a lot of, your house was very strict.
Michael Sullivan
Okay, I saw how that played out. So my thought is to give him room to fail, that’s my philosophy, give them support. But give them a chance to fail. Whereas, you know, we were strict but we were given that opportunity. And trust me I failed a lot. I was grounded my whole senior year. So I failed.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well I tend to parent, first of all I’m reactionary, Michael is not. So we get a notice from a teacher someone got a bad grade I immediately flight like I’m like what is this? You know and he’s not so also I don’t have a lot of patience with things they know what like when it comes to what they know is right and wrong. He still wants a jury of fucking judge a conversation a fucking presenting argument a closing argument a jury deliberation but for me they already know this shit we had the trial and the jury and all that when we made the rule.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 34:05
He still with every infraction wants to like go to trial over it. I’m like, but that’s it. That’s like, I know in this country we do because it’s getting innocent until proven guilty. But if we know they’re guilty, we don’t need to do the whole trial thing. He still wants a way out every infraction one that we already know are wrong. What’s the point? Just get to the punishment. He won’t do that. And I am glad I met I’m raising children with him though because you were spanked growing up right?
Michael Sullivan
I was.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And I was, the difference is he was spanked by his father and not by his mother. We were spanked by our mother and not by our father. One of the biggest parenting fears I had is that I would be like my mom and that way that I would fly off the handle and hit and I tend to snatch I’m a big snatcher, but I’m not a hitter. A lot of that comes from him. He does not really I don’t want to say allow that. But the energy he has in this house is not a hitting energy.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You know, like with my mom, you never knew when you were going to get smacked. It was coming from somewhere, you know, that’s not the energy in this house. So I do like the fact that my children for the most part know that’s not what’s coming. I like that. And that I think comes from him. So I’m grateful for that. But no, we don’t see really eye on parenting. And we haven’t even really gotten to the hard part. To be honest.
Michael Sullivan
We see out on the 10,000-foot view, well, it’s just the implementation that we cross ways a little bit, sometimes. You want to raise good people, when we see eye to eye on that. It’s getting from point A to point B though, there’s turned.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 36:00
Well, we haven’t even gotten to the hard part yet. You know, that is what I’m nervous about is like, we don’t see eye to eye on the iPad time or the, you know, the easier stuff. We haven’t gotten to the teenage years yet the dating and, you know, driving and the things like that, like, I don’t think our children should get their license till they’re 17. Alabama’s 16, but I don’t care. I think it should be 17. I think there’s a lot of maturity that happens between 16 and 17. I would prefer and I just know you’re gonna cave. I just know it. Also, you have a lot of side conversations with our children against me that I don’t think are fair.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You do. You have a lot of like, private close, like, conversations with Olivia about me like when she’s not happy with a decision I’ve made or, like the kids feel like they can come to you against me. And I don’t like that. They would never try to come to me against you because they know better. But they all think they can come to you. Soon as I say anything, they’re like, “Where’s dad? Where’s dad?” Because they think you’ll take their side. That’s a problem. Because what do you always tell me about marriage and kids, you always say, one day the kids are all going to grow up and move out. And if the marriage isn’t
Michael Sullivan
Totally soon.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, ours are 10, 11 and 12. What are you talking about? So how do we approach it? We fight.
Michael Sullivan
We disagree.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yeah, we don’t like fight. Like we don’t raise our voices and stuff. But we definitely disagree. All right. The next question comes from a listener named Stephanie. She has a question for Michael. She says:
Jaime Primak Sullivan
“Michael, I love Jaime’s transparency. But is it ever difficult knowing that your triumphs as well as your struggles are used daily to help other people?”
Jaime Primak Sullivan
So she’s saying like, I love how honest Jaimee is. Is it ever difficult for you? Knowing that our triumphs in this marriage but also our struggles are shared with people to help other people?
Michael Sullivan 38:25
No.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
How many times have people come to you and say they heard something on CAWFEE TALK?
Michael Sullivan
Minimal.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Minimal? In six and a half years? And typically, it’s not about stuff about you, right? It’s about ancillary.
Michael Sullivan
To be honest with you, I don’t even recall.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I want to know what kind of tweets people are screenshotting and sending you, I’m dying to know what kind of my tweets.
Michael Sullivan
Funny ones.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Funny ones? Oh my God, but like funny like, like off color humor meaning?
Michael Sullivan
Funny “Haha” ones. Is there a different kind of fun?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I think there is.
Jackson
Maybe that with your tweets?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Is it like my Instagram, right? Is that what you’re talking about? Okay. All right. Do you laugh when they send them to you?
Michael Sullivan
Sure. Because usually there’s a comment with it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, my God. Alright, right. Our last question. I know you’re happy because you’re almost out of here.
Michael Sullivan
Long two weeks.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Our last question comes from Sandy who reached out on Facebook and she asks: “Name one thing that each person is proud of about the other person.”
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You want me to go first or you want to go first?
Michael Sullivan
Go ahead.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I would say that in our marriage, you have managed to get us into some shit in our marriage, and I would say that when push came to shove, you have handled our shit, which began as your shit. But just FYI, guys, when you’re married, their shit becomes your shit. You have handled it with a humility, and a patience. And you have all of the promises you have ever made me that it was going to be okay, you have delivered on. I know that we’re not at the end of forever yet and things can change. But where I didn’t see sunshine, again, in this marriage where I was like, it’s gonna be dark and stormy forever.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 40:51
And you kept saying to me, like, the sun will shine again for us, you’ll see, I didn’t believe you. But you have really delivered on all of that. And it makes me very proud that you were able to do that with a humility and a responsibility, and a patience. Because it is not easy to make grave mistakes. And I’m in a romantic relationship and know that the other person is so truly unhappy, and not get defensive. Stay open emotionally and let them feel and let them yell and let them cry and let them tell you how shitty you are as a human being.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You know, like, and you took that from me on and off for a few years, when we went through really hard times, and you did it in a very, I don’t know, patient way. And I just like I wake up and know the sun is shining. And I’m like huh, he did it. And I just think you’re awesome for that. Your turn try to top that, buddy. You were gonna say like a movie or something?
Michael Sullivan
What was the question?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
What are you proud of?
Jaime Primak Sullivan 42:07
I’m proud that you haven’t changed with your commitment on what you want to be not granted as a wife as a mother, but as a person. Because you mean you always. Ever since I met you, you had a vision or a sense of where you wanted to go personally in life, and, you know, marriage, kids move live into the deep south could derail could have derailed all that, but it hasn’t. And that’s probably what I’m most proud of.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well, a lot of that comes from you too, you know, because I have a lot of support, and a lot of freedom. If you were not the kind of father you are, I would never feel comfortable enough to skip town for you know, for 10 days.
Michael Sullivan
Skip town?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, I’m sorry, travel for work. You know, I’m leaving tomorrow. Well, by the time you guys hear this, I’ll be back. But you know, I’m leaving tomorrow to go to Jersey and then I have to go to New Orleans to finish a movie. And I would never have that confidence to do that. Not that I wouldn’t have the personal confidence but the light in our life, I wouldn’t be able to do that if I didn’t know for sure that you could hold this fort down while I was gone. And I’m really, you know, I’m proud of that fact that every single time I asked you to do something like this, you say yes. Really, it’s amazing to me.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I do thank you for your time and okay, I did promise the people on Facebook that I would just do a couple of quick, rapid fires. Michael, Dawn asks: “other than golf what is one of your favorite ways to unwind?”
Michael Sullivan 44:08
Have a drink.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yes. What do you drink? What’s your favorite drink?
Michael Sullivan 44:12
Scotch.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. Patricia wants to know why you can’t remember to give Jaime a heads up when it comes to golfing. Why is it so hard for you to remember to tell me before the last minute that you’re going to play?
Michael Sullivan
No clue.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Mark Russell wants to know who was the best roommate you ever had and why? That was Michael’s college roommate.
Michael Sullivan
I never had a roommate.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Was that your college roommate? He was yes. Is he in your fraternity. He is, Michael’s a Sigma Nu.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Laurie Lee wants to know; does it ever get overwhelming being married to Jaime?Everybody thinks. I swear. Everybody thinks it is so hard being married to me. It must be so hard. She’s so much.
Michael Sullivan
She’s a pushover, so no worries.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Am I?
Michael Sullivan
Yes.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
This woman said Jaime you’re a lucky woman. What?
Michael Sullivan
Hell yeah.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh my god, you’re lucky man, by the way. I’d like to hear some of his ex-girlfriend’s stories. What kind of women did he date before you? What were you attracted to before me? I mean, he always dated attractive women. How about that one girl with cowboy boots?
Michael Sullivan
I don’t recall a lot of ex-girlfriends.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Really? Alright, we’ll do two more really quick. Kathy says your mother and Jaime seemed like complete opposites. Are there certain things they do have in common?
Michael Sullivan
Oh, yeah. There’s one.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
What? we both love you? Oh, my God. Jackson is so tickled. Really? Well, yes. We both think Michael is the best son. So that’s true. Do you think your mom thinks you are her favorite?
Jaime Primak Sullivan 46:06
No, bobby for sure, right?
Michael Sullivan
I wouldn’t know that.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Bobby, it’s got to be the priest,
Michael Sullivan
Man of God.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Right. No, I think your mom and I are both independent. We’re both hard workers. Yeah, I think we have things in common. She’s definitely more polished than I am. And she values tradition. And like, things like that more. Her go to effort is Fiddlesticks. So we’re different there. Michael, the last question is what is your favorite thing to do? As a family? Yes, that would be with me and your children?
Michael Sullivan
All of us?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yes.
Michael Sullivan
I like it all. But I mean, the probably the best is that the trips we take together.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Traveling.
Michael Sullivan
That would probably be.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I agree. That would be my answer to we do have so much fun, you know, going to the beach or going wherever traveling together. The kids are so funny at this age and just having somebody to look over at and laugh at the same child because we have such a deep understanding of that child’s personality and because it’s like one thing to travel with someone who’s your friend, and they know your kid, but they don’t know. Like Michael and I took the kids I forget where we were going on a plane.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
But Max had his headphones. Singing Trolls the movie, and he didn’t realize that he was singing like out loud on the plane. So he’s like, just dance, dance, dance. And it was so funny. And to be able to look over at Michael who has such a deep and obviously profound understanding of our son. It was just so cute and funny and like, those are the moments that I feel so grateful that we’re not divorced. So I agree. where we were going that? Do you remember?
Michael Sullivan 48:04
Florida, to see your mom?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Really? Okay, I don’t know. Anyway, so that’s all the time we have. We are grateful for you guys, for you listening. Please. As always, make sure you subscribe and like and share and all those good things. the TELL ME WHAT TO DO team is going to be taking a little break for the holidays.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yay, downtime, rest time, but we will be back on January 14. So in the interim, enjoy the time with your family, stay safe, wear a mask, all those good things and I love you and I will be back with you in January.
CREDITS
TELL ME WHAT TO DO is a production of Lemonada Media. The show is produced by Kryssy Pease and Alex McOwen. It’s edited by Ivan Kuraev. Music is by Dan Molad, Jessica Cordova Kramer, Stephanie Wittels and Jaime Primak Sullivan, are our executive producers. Rate and review us and follow us at @LemonadaMedia on all your favorite social platforms. Of course you can follow me at Jaime Primak Sullivan on Facebook or at @JaimePSullivan on Instagram. If you have any questions for me that you want me to answer on the show, give me a call at 833-453-6662
