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Sarah gets down to brass tacks about the proper way to lather. She also offers advice to a musician caller who’s struggling with performing for politically conservative audiences and recounts the one time she shared a blunt with Jane Fonda. Oh and Amanda Knox calls into the show – yes, that one.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Daniel, Amy, Sender 3, Sender 4, Amanda, Sender 8, Chan, Dustin, Emily, Jesus, Christina, Gina, Sarah Silverman, Rachel

Sarah Silverman  00:01

Hey everyone. It’s your old pal, Sarah. And here’s some words I’m gonna shit out at you that I thought about, just about how what’s happening in this country, the erasure of the history of people, of black history, women’s history, all this, any history that is not straight, white male history, is literally being erased. And I’ll tell you why, because history is written by the winners. History is written by those in power. So this shouldn’t necessarily be surprising, though it is astounding, but I was thinking, you know, what they can’t do is, and what I’m going to say, I feel like you’re like, oh, she’s going to say something that is useful, that we can I don’t know this is maybe really dumb, but they can’t control how other countries write American history. There’s gotta be maybe truth will be in there, you know, and and we can assure it, we can pass the truth down in our homes and in our communities and other countries who don’t have lunatics in power, and who have learned from their and our history is like, you know, facing history and Ourselves, it kind of stuff they’ll know too. So I don’t know what if we this is. I’m starting to have less confidence in this idea. I just thought maybe we, the citizens of the United States could appeal to ally countries if we have any left to hold this history for us to take the minutes of our experience along with us. Will you keep our records? Will you take our testimonies. You know, the testimonies, the stories of all the people that are being erased from history and and the present. You know. Norway, could you do that for us? Denmark, what do you think Finland? Iceland, Mexico, Uruguay, Portugal? Would that be? It’s not your job. I know Japan or Canada, but, you know, maybe just put it in a file somewhere. And you know, Sweden, Spain, Germany, Bhutan. Could you just hold it in a on a zip file or something New Zealand. What do you say?

 

Daniel  04:06

Hey, Sarah. This is Daniel, longtime listener, first time caller. I my wife and I just finished watching the comeback with Lisa Kudrow and your sister, Laura Silverman, is on that show for two seasons, right? This show is absolutely fantastic. We loved it, and I’ve never heard you talk about the comeback, or maybe you have, but I’ve missed it. I have, and I was just curious, if your sister has ever talked about her experience on that show, and because I missed it the first go around when it first aired, I was just curious how the show was received. Was it positive? Why is there only two seasons? Season Two? Is amazing. And that’s just, I was curious about that. Thank you.

 

Sarah Silverman  05:08

Yeah, Laura plays Jane. She loved it. She loved it and it, the show is so brilliant, and it is interesting to think, because I remember when it first came out. I think it got good reviews, but I people like were very uncomfortable watching it, and I think they were not ready for that kind of show, with that kind of discomfort, with a especially with a woman leading it, and it was pre the American office, and then the American office came out, and it did very well. And then they did a season two. And by then the season one had become like a cult favorite show. And season two was nine years after season one, and it’s so cool, because you’re just checking in with this person and these people, and it’s so brilliant. I mean, both seasons by themselves, are totally brilliant and and it is kind of like a show that can work like an island like that, where seasons are, you know, nine years apart, it’s kind of like curb in that way. You know, I hope they do another one. It’d be amazing. But, um, yeah, she loved it. She loved working with Lisa and Michael. Patrick King, um, who? Who they created it. And it’s like the best show about show business that there is. I think I haven’t watched this studio yet, but that’s a different kind of thing. But, um, yeah, fuck yeah, I can’t. I’m watching the whole I’m about to watch the whole thing over again, because I was just talking to Rory about it and he hadn’t seen it, so I’m excited to watch it all again. All right, thank you. Daniel, what else?

 

Jesus  07:13

Hi, Sarah. I hope you’re well, this is Jesus. I called a little while ago asking you about Barbara’s trice end, and you gave me a great answer, especially the story with you running into her and her asking or like mentioning that you’re a comedian, it’s very good. I have a question. Have you ever had a friendship that you felt you needed to take distance from because the friend in question smelled bad. I’m having that experience right now, and it’s difficult because I feel that there’s like a judgment inside myself that I’m putting towards this person projecting. And I have kind of mentioned it like I’ve been pretty direct in the past, but it’s a persistent issue, and I don’t know how to move forward, because I think I’d rather just avoid it. At this point, I don’t know, has this happened to you? Okay, love you, bye.

 

Sarah Silverman  08:13

Yeah, it’s happened to me, but that was a close friend. So it’s not been a situation where I have to go like, ooh. Do I say something? But there are a couple comedians that every time I give them a hug, I go, oh my God. You know, in my head, I’m just like, oh my god, the smell is so intense and not good. And the only thing that’s worse than that, smell wise, is when they then cover it with cologne. Because they’re not covering it, it’s just now a terrible smell plus cologne, which is also, to me, a terrible smell. But if you care about the friendship, you should probably tell them. I don’t know what to tell you, isn’t there a I think there’s a service. I think this is real, where you can pay something and they they let the person know, Hey, someone in your life wants you to know that you have intense body odor. You know, sometimes it’s, it’s body odor, and they’re not like using, they’re not showering, they’re not like you have to really use. All you need is soap and water. But you do need soap and water, and you have to get it in all your crevasses, crevices and rinse. Sometimes it’s a case of someone who did not ever learn how to do laundry and is now on their own and is not doing laundry, not washing their clothes. I don’t know how to get to the source, but, um, maybe you could do that in. Anonymous tip thing.

 

Amy  10:02

Are you sure you didn’t dream that up, Sarah?

 

Sarah Silverman  10:05

Maybe I did on mr. Show. There was a bit called Bad News breakers, where you just have, like, these two adorable twin girls that are like five that go like you have cancer. It’s like, oh, I mean, I don’t know. You just have to be like, if you had BO, would you want someone to tell you, and then see what they say? And if they say yes, say you have BO, that’s like, did you make a BM? Okay, what else?

 

Sender 3  10:47

Hey, Sarah, I’m going to first say I am sorry if you hear oinking and snorting in the background. I have two lovely pugs that are asleep on my lap. Okay, so I wanted your opinion on this, as you are a performer that is regularly in front of audiences, I am a professional classical musician that plays in orchestras, and since the election and inauguration, I am really struggling with facing audiences, because I look out from the stage and I find myself wondering who among them voted For him, who’s a fucking Nazi, who wants to see trans people die, who wants to take away my rights as a woman. And it’s very unsettling, because music is the great unifier. It’s beauty, it’s emotion, it’s what ties us all together. It’s a beautiful craft. And there’s this ugliness now, and when you put on shows, your fans are in a safe space, because I assume they’re mostly like minded with you, I hope. But I don’t really have that luxury, because these are not people coming to see specifically me. They’re coming to see the orchestra. So just wondering if you have any advice and what your take is on this with your personal experiences, and, yeah.

 

Sarah Silverman  12:08

I totally get it, and I can empathize. And I would also say it is true that my audience tends to be fairly like minded liberal types in general, but I don’t necessarily feel listen when I was an open mic or when I was a comic that did not have an audience. I didn’t know what I was gonna get or who would like me. I ate shit all the time, and then eventually I, I didn’t, you know, but there is something about not having a like minded audience that is extra special, because although you might feel like, Fuck this, I don’t want to. I don’t want to. I’m not their dancing monkey. I don’t want to play for them. I don’t want to share my talents with these people who feel X, Y or Z, but music, comedy, art is transformative, and you should wish on all people that to be transformed. And my advice would be to to because you see the audience however you want to see the audience, you know. I mean, I’ve seen comics, and I’ve been a comic that will go out and bomb because I’m putting on the audience all my insecurities. And, you know, one thing my mom would always say to her actors, she was a she directed local theater in New Hampshire. Before they’d go out, she’d say, these people are here to love you, let them. And that’s kind of cool, like I’ve been remembering that lately, and I think you should give the audience the benefit of the doubt. However, that looks like just see them all in a way in which you can love them. I get it. I get it what you’re saying, but that magic that you create reflects the world that you want to see. Kind of, you know, art is aspirational and or it can be. And I think that with art, great things can happen when you expect the best from people getting in your head about who might be shitty in the audience, it doesn’t bear fruit. You know, it doesn’t change anything for the better. If you can move people with music, wouldn’t you want to move even shitty people with music? And if people are able to let themselves be moved by music, I think that’s something that’s that’s moving them in the right direction. Maybe there’s something there.

 

Sender 4  19:37

Good morning, Sarah. Have a question for you. I just rescued a dog. She’s an adorable little chihuahua mix, but she gets really anxious when there’s men that she doesn’t know in my house, like my dad, my sister’s boyfriend, my dad’s friend, and she she barks and and everybody’s sitting down. She’s calm, but the moment some. Stands up, it like almost startles her, and she goes crazy. How do I fix that? She’s so chill when it’s just me and my boyfriend at the house, but whenever somebody she doesn’t know, especially a male, comes over, she is just an anxious little barky dog, and nobody’s got time for that. Would love some advice, thank you.

 

Sarah Silverman  20:26

You know I am not Cesar Milan, but I would say that something that you can do is keep a high value treat outside the front door or close to when you come in and have your friends or your father, whoever’s coming in, take a couple and enter with them and offer them to her. And if you can, if this is a luxury, you can do, maybe have these high value treats on hand for when you get up from the couch so that she did, you say she yep, um, or, anyway, when you’re when someone gets up from the couch and the dog barks, they associate it with a treat. You get up from the couch, you give her a treat. Um, this is what I’ve learned. Is a way to have your anxious dog associate these things that cause anxiety with high value treats instead, and eventually you will not need the treat. But if you have those little, tiny, real meat dog treats, those are great or whatever is like, high value for your dog at this time. That should be helpful. So good luck. I mean, that’s what I got for you. Oh, also, if you live in a state that is has legal weed. There is great THC drops for dogs, developed by vets. We use it when we need to with our dogs, and it’s really helpful, maybe a combo of both, maybe one or the other, but good luck. Let me know how it turns out, what else?

 

Amanda  22:25

Hi, Sarah Amanda Knox here, yes, that one, my question has to do specifically with tragedies, or, I guess, comedy around tragedies, I was I came into the public consciousness as someone associated with a really tragic, horrific event, I went through a whole tragic experience myself, wrongly convicted, imprisoned, all of that, and one of the ways that I have coped was to make jokes about it. I really like to I love comedy, and I love turning things around, to turn something tragic into something comedic, and to you know, shed light on something through that. But when I have made jokes, some people have laughed, and some people have called me a psychopath for daring to make any kind of comedy out of the tragedy I went through. And I guess my question is someone like me allowed to be funny? How do we draw the line around how we make jokes around tragic events and the worst experiences of people’s lives? I would love to know your thoughts about that. Thank you.

 

Sarah Silverman  23:35

This is Amanda Knox, the journalist wrongly accused of murder in Italy. Holy shit. Yeah, okay, hi Amanda Knox, yeah. Comedy is the relief valve. It’s a release valve. It’s comic relief. It’s, on one hand, you know, there is a time and a place for it, I guess, but on the other hand, the worst and most inappropriate possible place for it is kind of the place for it too. But you know that said you kind of called the devil on your shoulder for advice on it. So I like that. Amanda Knox is funny. I kind of not surprised, I guess. I mean, you’ve been through a lot, and comedy is kind of like the flower that comes up through the pavement. You know, it emerges in the darkest spaces. It’s a crack of light, but also highly subjective, so something that is relief for one person, maybe, you know, triggering for another. You can’t please everyone, but also, I imagine, you know, don’t want to deeply upset anyone I don’t know. I hope that helps. I’m going to assume it probably did not, what else?

 

Gina  24:54

Hi, Sarah, it’s your friend, Gina from San Clemente, California. I. Just moved here six months ago, from Washington, DC, and my question to you is, how can I meet new friends? I love California so much, but I haven’t met many girlfriends yet, and I’m in my early 50s, so it seems like it’s harder than I thought it would be. Another challenge I have is that I don’t drink alcohol, so I don’t really like doing happy hours or many of the meetups that I’ve seen that involve drinking, I just don’t want to be around drunk people, though I do like smoking weed anyway. I was wondering if you had any advice for newcomers to California who don’t drink on ways to meet new girlfriends. I just want to find my group and feel like I did when I lived back in DC, where I was surrounded by friends and always had someone to do things with. Thank you so much.

 

Sarah Silverman  26:09

Oh my gosh, let’s think I don’t drink either, and I also do smoke weed like you. Weed is a great friend maker. Go to those drink things and be the woman with the joint outside the bar. It’s It’s quiet, and sharing a joint is great for conversations. I find. What about your passions? You know, pursue your passions, and you’ll meet people that share those passions, hikes, art, flea markets, farmers markets. Do you have a dog? Get one, walk it, meet people with dogs, meet your neighbors. Have your dogs be friends. When you have a dog, you meet all your neighbors with dogs, and it’s just quite lovely. Go to bar trivia. I always think that’s a great way to meet people. You don’t have to drink. These things can be fun, like eat an edible or be sober, and then just split when that first wave of drunk idiocy starts, that’s what I do. I’ll go to a place, and then once people start getting sloppy, that first, that first hint I’m fucking out of there. Listen, you know, I’m assuming you care about women’s rights, and then the the fight on, you know, women’s autonom body autonomy. Join my friend Liz Winston’s organization, um, abortion AF the abortion action front. Anyone can join anywhere in the country, and it’s like a Tupperware party of how we’re gonna take care of each other during this next four years, et cetera and on and on. So it’s a whole community of like minded women and some men, and they help you know ways that you can help in this moment, and being a part of that feels real good, and you’ll meet a whole bunch of kick ass women. There’s my that’s those are good suggestions, I think. Let me know if you made some friends call in a few months. All right, what else?

 

Emily  28:14

Hey, Sarah, this is Emily from Philadelphia, so I just had a conversation with some of my co workers, and I’m absolutely flabbergasted. I wanted to understand if I am alone in this feeling. But basically, we were talking about showering and the use of bar of soap versus liquid shower gel. And the one guy was like, Yeah, I used the bar of soap, and I just rub the bar all over my body. And I was like, okay, that’s insane. And then I kind of did a, you know, casual poll, and every single, well, there’s only three other people, they all rub the bar on their body and share the bar with their families. I’m assuming in their ass as well. I don’t know I am. I was raised as a washcloth, child wash cloth, and now I’m just kind of straight shower gel to the hands. Is this normal? Am I crazy? Let me know I saw you in Philly. Also, it was incredible. Yeah, love you, bye.

 

Sarah Silverman  29:34

Everyone has their own way. And as a matter of fact, when we started the Hulu show, and I don’t know if it ever got on the actual show, I love you America, but like, part of the like tenets of it was like, how what’s your How do you wash your asshole? Because that, I felt like would bring everyone together, because everyone has their own style. Anyway, I use liquid soap. I don’t use a bar soap anymore. That seems like a thing of the past, although, I mean, sometimes I’ve used a bar but I go, I do go directly. I’m not a washcloth person. I have complete reverence for washcloth people. But as I’ve grown into adult, I use the liquid, and then what I do is I I lather up the liquid soap on my hair points so like I use shampoo, and I get all lathery, and that’s soap. You know, you can use shampoo as soap. So I’ll put it in my armpits, and I’ll lather my arms and my belly, whatever. Then I use some liquid soap. I lather up my pubes, that’s the other hair point. Now I have a bevy of lather frothing within my central point, and I use the lather from my pubes that’s used to wash my pristine asshole, in my Immaculate vagina. Add a little more soap to the feet and all the different other spots I missed my legs. But you know.

 

Amy  31:15

I just want to say soap is self cleaning. A bar of soap is self cleaning, so I don’t really get what the big whoop is like.

 

Sarah Silverman  31:22

Right, you’re using a bar of soap that somebody may be lathered and used in their asshole, but then the soap is clean because it’s made of the stuff

 

Amy  31:34

I find that gross, just in general. And the other thing is, is that we’ve all seen a bar of soap with the hair on it, and we all know where that hair came from. I’m sorry. I don’t want anyone else’s pubie bar of soap near my private.

 

Sarah Silverman  31:50

Even your partner, whose privates you run your privates together.

 

Amy  31:55

We don’t share bathrooms or a shower or a bathtub and.

 

Sarah Silverman  32:02

So if there’s a pube on your soap, Amy, it’s your pube.

 

Amy  32:07

Yeah, that’s my point. I only want it to be mine. And furthermore.

 

Sarah Silverman  32:13

This doesn’t feel like a furthermore conversation, but go on.

 

Amy  32:17

Well, I would also never use my partner’s toothbrush, and we’ve already done this portion of the show previously, where we got a lot of calls about how girls.

 

Sarah Silverman  32:25

I’ll never forget that, because I talked about on this podcast about the thing I was saying was that his when he fills the water of our of our water pick Sonic Care fusion, which is incredible. I’m they don’t pay me to say that. I I’ll desperately try to elicit them to him, and they won’t. But um, that he filled the water with like warm water, and it was disgusting. It felt like saliva when I was brushing my teeth. What seemed to be picked up online was that we use the same toothbrush, which, by the way, has been ruined by society judging us. Now we have different toothbrushes, but although sometimes we still use the same toothbrush, the fact that people were so disgusted that we use the same toothbrush, first of all, maybe you’re disgusting. I don’t leave like, pieces of food and things on the the toothbrush is cleaned. It’s cleaned. But also, I that we put our mouths where each other pees like now, this is where we draw the line.

 

Amy  33:35

All that to say it’s gross to share toothbrushes, it’s and I find it gross to take a bar of soap feels like a blanket statement. Use it in your nether regions and then have your dad do that too. I guess maybe I’m how the other half lives. I don’t know.

 

Sarah Silverman  33:52

I mean, when you kiss someone with an open mouth, you’re getting all that.

 

Amy  33:57

Yeah, and my dog licks my face all day long. Yeah, it doesn’t bother me. She doesn’t well, Wendy doesn’t eat shit.

 

Sarah Silverman  34:03

But yeah, that you know of.

 

Sender 8  36:39

Hi Sarah, I get so much joy out of listening to your podcast. Thank you for everything you bring to the world. So I have a 13 year old daughter that started her period about a year ago, and I’ve been meaning to leave this message, but when I told my friends she started one of my Jewish friends asked if I slapped her, and I had never heard of this, and she said, in Jewish culture, often when this happens, you get slapped by your mother. And I was kind of horrified, and wondered where this came from, if it was shaming or trying to make her stronger, or anyway, I didn’t slap her, but I would love some insight into the history of this, if you know about it, if anyone in your family has heard of this, and I guess That’s it. Thank you again for all you do, love you bye.

 

Sarah Silverman  37:46

I’ve not ever heard of this. I didn’t I grew up with no Jews and no Jewish community. So maybe it is, I would guess if it is a Jewish thing, it’s like an orthodox or Hasidic thing. But I maybe it is a thing, but I will tell you if it is a thing, I know what it is, I think. And I would, I would venture that it is. There was a time I remember hearing where parents would smack their kids so that they remember it, and what it is is, it’s, it creates a surge of adrenaline, so they always remember this moment like, I think my dad slapped Susie when like was Susie born, like when JFK was killed or something, and it was to always so she remembered that moment. And yeah, the reason why we remember where we were on 911 or remember where we were when whatever J Lo and Ben Affleck broke up, whatever the big news, where you were when JFK dot was killed, or whatever is because there’s a surge of adrenaline that goes in your brain at that time and that makes you remember. In fact, that’s why people who remember every moment of their lives, like Mary Lou Henner, and there are like 11 other people or something. There’s like a certain amount of people that remember every moment of their lives, like Tuesday, 1992 11:30 you could they would be like, I was this, and what they discovered was different about their brains than everyone else’s, that they that surge of adrenaline that happens in those kind of big moments is always in their brain, always surging, and that’s why they remember it all. I always thought that was really interesting. But yes, that that is a Jewish thing is, is I would need to maybe you guys are looking it up right now, but boy, as if you need a slap across the face to remember the first time you pulled down your pants to what looks like a fucking crime scene in your underwear. And you’re a kid. You got me. I think every girl remembers their first period. I mean. Oh, Jesus, let me slap you in the face so you’ll remember this throbbing, crippling pain.

 

Amy  40:07

Online, it says that it is, there’s a debunking of the myth of the Jewish menstrual slap, and that it actually comes from other cultures that viewed women as evil or sinful.

 

Sarah Silverman  40:20

Listen, there’s plenty of of any religion, if you go to the right extremes. Sect it has is completely misogynistic. I mean, you know, boiling this down, being a woman isn’t for sissies. What else?

 

Chan  40:42

Hey, Sarah, it’s your old pal Chan in Monterey Bay, and I’m calling because thought you might have some insights perhaps around this. I mean, besides, just like, get over it, because I fucked up. But a friend of mine that I’ve been texting with for like, 10 years and regularly, and, like, I considered him kind of a brother, even from, like, you know, party times was, you know, to like, the spiritual, like we kind of were on a path together. I felt like and anyway, he entered into a recovery, like he goes to some anonymous recovery thing, and I am not, and I texted with him one day when I was on MDMA and or something, and I was telling him that I was on it, and anyways, it was like, not too many days later, he was like, I don’t want to be friends with you anymore. Good luck. And I just was like, Have you ever been like, sort of ditched like that? Like, suddenly you’re the bad guy and like, I’m just, it’s like, I want to explain myself.

 

Sarah Silverman  42:07

You don’t have to explain yourself. Listen, you’re not a bad person. Everybody makes mistakes me, especially I fuck up pretty constantly. If you knew your friend was in recovery and you called and said you’re fucked up on MDMA, maybe not the the best instinct, certainly not the most thoughtful thing you’ve ever done. It’s okay forgive yourself, but it’s okay if this person needs to put up a boundary. A lot of people in recovery fart part, I just said fart part of their first steps are, are putting up boundaries. Are not spending time with people that have enabled their addiction. So they’re not bad people. They’re people for which, for them, using is triggering. So that person, your friend, is taking care of themselves, and part of taking care of themselves is not having you in their life right now. Now you can take on that, oh, my God, I’m a toxic person, and let that, you know, eat away at you. But you also don’t have to do that. It’s fine. They’re doing what they need to, to take care of themselves. You don’t have to involve your ego in that it’s not your business. Just respect the boundary is the most supportive thing you can do. Respect about you don’t have to explain yourself. They’re going through a sober journey. I think it’s called, you know, like and they need to limit what they’re exposing themselves to. You know, this guy needs to limit exposing himself to people that excerpt bait old habits he’s trying to rid himself of, respect it and move on. You don’t have to feel bad about yourself. You don’t have to find a way to let them know that you’re better than that. Just honor that boundary and move on. Okay? You don’t be angry at yourself. You don’t have to be upset, or if you’re gonna look inward, go within. See what bringing this feeling up is about. But do not disrespect this boundary by trying to go, yeah, but no, no, I know I was, I didn’t I, no stop. It’s not about you. Take comfort in that. Move on and enjoy. Your friends that are totally nourished by your company and that you’re nourished by, you know, whatever, you can’t control how people feel about you, so stop trying and just move on. You don’t have to get sober. Maybe someday you will and you guys will bond again. Maybe they’ll be so solid in their sobriety that when you bump into each other, you bond again. All these things may or may not happen, doesn’t it’s not a part of your life anymore. You’re not a part of this person’s life anymore. Respect it. It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Okay? People make mistakes. It’s okay, but allow them this boundary that’s them taking care of themselves. You worry about taking care of yourself. And the people that with whom you share times with, this is not one of those people right now. Okay, take care.

 

Dustin  46:02

Hi, Sarah. This is Dustin from Baltimore. I’m out on a hike in the woods in a woody park near where I live, more of a walk than a hike. Anyway, I see this woman. She’s kind of struggling with her dog and seems kind of annoyed. But I walk by and our eyes may end, I smile, and she smiles back, and I think we should normalize, like smiling back at people and and smiling when we see people in public. Sometimes the world just seems like you can’t do anything, you can’t get out the vote, you can’t pick up trash, you can’t help anything. And I struggle. I struggle with depression, PTSD, a lot of anxiety about the future, but I go on these little walks or long hikes, and when I see people, I smile, and not everybody smiles back, but when someone does, it just makes me feel so good. I think people should give it a try. If you feel like you can’t do anything, just smile at someone. Eventually someone will smile back at you, and that could really make your day.

 

Sarah Silverman  47:04

I, I’m kind of surprised that this is a revelation, but I guess it shouldn’t be, but like, I cannot imagine meeting eyes with someone I’m walking down the street and not smiling. It’s uh but yes, I agree. I mean, totally, it’s energy and how it’s contagious and it’s catchy. I mean, if someone looks up at you and you give them a look like, what are you looking at? That’s catchy too, you know. So it’s, you know, just like, if someone it’s like when you’re driving that’s the ultimate, you know, you catch so many bad vibes. That’s why I always like, if I fuck up and I cut someone off, or when they come to, like, yell at me, I’m always like, I’m so sorry, and they immediately soften. That’s all they need. They just need to know that I know that I fucked up, and then they’re bet they feel better. But, yeah, yes, smile. Totally agree that said, go ahead and refrain from asking women to smile. That’s like a thing. You just smile at them, and if they smile back, it’s a win.

 

Amy  48:16

I also just want to say, I think that it’s okay, yes, if you meet eyes with someone and they’re smiling at you, it’s good to smile back. But if you don’t choose to meet eyes with someone, that’s also okay too. Like, I think there’s a lot of reasons for just like, being in your own personal space when you’re walking through the world.

 

Sarah Silverman  48:37

Completely, and I like, it’s funny because hearing this as a woman, you’re thinking, fuck you. But of course, as a human, like, yeah, it’s lovely to if you connect eyes, you’re seeing each other. It’s nice to go, I’m a friendly dog, you know, like I’m you know, but you don’t know that to anyone. And people are going through their lives, and you don’t know where anyone is in, inside their lonely, lonely minds, that we all are just alone inside. What’s next? That being said.

 

Amy  49:16

I do find that I smile at every dog.

 

Sarah Silverman  49:19

Well, that’s the amazing thing is, you know, we, you know, I’ll walk by a stranger with a dog and I go to, I say to the dog, hi, you know, like, so happy to see them. And like, could you imagine if we gave like, 10% of that kind of energy to each other? Like, how nice that would be.

 

Amy  49:40

You know what I find that I do that I learned that I did on Saturday.

 

Sarah Silverman  49:44

You completely ignore the person?

 

Amy  49:46

Well, that always that’s just in general, dog or not. But I yell out, yay every dog that I walk by, when they’re like in cars driving by, I yell, yay for. Like, if I don’t know why that, yay. Dogs really respond to and they get so excited.

 

Sarah Silverman  50:05

Yeah, and look at, like, your joy. It’s like, it attracts that, you know. Anyway, blah, what else?

 

Christina  50:17

Hi, Sarah. It’s Christina calling from my friend’s nature sanctuary in southern Ontario, Canada. This is my safe space. I just got out of a 14 year marriage, 13 years of verbal and emotional abuse, did put his hands on me once, and that’s when I decided I really had to get out because I couldn’t have the role modeling for my kids. The problem is, though, where to go? I’m off work right now due to health reasons, and I don’t have enough cash to live on my own, so I’m with my parents, and now I realize I’m afraid of them. They’ve both come at me, yelling and saying really hurtful things, and it’s been very triggering. They do kind of whatever they want with the kids, despite my guidance and requests. It’s all about my mom keeping her happy. And now I realize that, and she even gets mad at me for going to my own crying kids when she has to tell me about a friend she saw whatever. Sarah, what can I do? I can’t rebuild my mental health in the situation. Any advice? Thanks so much.

 

Sarah Silverman  51:48

I’m so sorry that’s that’s really tough. I can only imagine this situation. Any way that you can work towards being independent of these abusive people. You know, even if that means like getting a roommate or sharing a house, I don’t know you need to be your rules your life. I mean, I’m proud of you for leaving. Understand it must be hard to get on your feet under the footprint of abuse from I mean, listen, coming home and seeing that your parents are being abusive to you. That’s probably how it was growing up, and that’s why you went into a relationship that was had familiar, those familiar elements. Certainly you don’t want those elements, but there’s a part of you that is drawn to those elements because they’re familiar. They’re what you know. And that’s what we go towards, what we know. We always go towards with that, if we’re not being thinking about it, we go towards what, what’s familiar, 10 times out of 10 over what we want, because that is unfamiliar. It has to be a very conscious choice to to go the other way, you know. So now you’ve gotten home to your parents, and now you recognize it. But I mean, I don’t know, there are definitely ways, if you’re gonna stay there, to navigate that, but you know, listen, you’re calling from your friend’s animal sanctuary. Can you live there? Maybe you’ll live, live there, work there. Scenario with the kids. I don’t know. That’s obviously, if that were possible, you’d probably do that. Um, get community. I maybe you have that. Get community, friends, find a group, a zoom search words can be like group therapy, verbal abuse. Maybe that, that can give you some tools, even like a Reddit group or something, just tools, things you’re looking for to navigate a very specific thing. Maybe you have friends that can help you, I don’t know, but the goal has to be independence. Is there any kind of work you can do with your health issues, with with the set of skills you have? You know, does? Does Canada subsidize individuals that can’t work due to health issues? I don’t know, but you gotta hustle out there and figure it out. I believe in you. You’ve got this good luck.

 

Rachel  54:35

Hey, Sarah, it’s Rachel from Washington. I love you. I just wanted to let you know that you had one of the best tweets of all time. This was probably like 10 years ago or something, but I’d never felt more seen when I read it. And it was the tweet that said, Take a puff and brush my teeth for 20 minutes and I related so hard. I too, like to brush my teeth for an insanely long time after I smoke, just because it feels good and I get a little lost. But I also like to tweeze my eyebrows very meticulously after I smoke weed. So yeah, I was wondering what things you like to do after you smoke, and also, who would be in your dream blunt rotation? A few people in mind would definitely be Aquafina, yourself, of course, and Alana Glazer, probably Donald Glover and Rihanna so solid. Yeah, would love to hear your thoughts on that, and thank you so much for everything you do, bye.

 

Sarah Silverman  55:51

You’re welcome. Next. I’m just kidding. I do feel compelled to tell you, even though this is bragging, that I have gotten high with Aquafina, and it was everything you could ever want. Yes, you know, when you were saying I had the best tweet, I was sure it was gonna be what I feel is my best ever tweet, which was slide into my BMS. But no, Charles doesn’t like that one. It’s word play, yeah, uh, I like to have a puff before bed, usually right between flossing my teeth and brushing my teeth, and then I wash my face and I put on all my random serums and creams and stuff that might not do anything, but I really just love the process. I love ritual, especially when I’m a little stoned and I floss. This is I’m admitting this. I have a, you know, that magnifying mirror, which, you know, in hotels I would always put away so to clear space. Now I depend on it, because I can’t fucking see, but I use my magnifying mirror. I floss in my magnifying mirror, and I just can see all the it’s so disgusting. It’s really the most satisfying and wildly private thing right up there with shitting and porn, but I love it. I digressed a little anyway, thanks for calling, oh my blunt. I, you know, I really smoked pot with everyone I could ever possibly dream of smoking pot with. I’m gonna just be obnoxious and say that, and  I did one smoke pot with Jane and Peter Fonda. I’m sure she will not remember it, but I was, it was my joint, and it was going around at a party, and they were in it. And I was like, well, that’s pretty fucking cool. All right, what else?

 

Amy  57:59

How was Jane Fonda high?

 

Sarah Silverman  58:01

You know, they didn’t really, I’m not. I can’t act like we all hung out, but we smoked a joint, passed it around. She didn’t really say anything to me, I’m going to be honest. But I felt it was iconic. And I like that she was smoking something that I rolled. And I like that she’s like in her 80s and smoking weed.

 

Sarah Silverman  58:23

Dad, wherever you are in the time, space continuum. This is the part of the podcast when I say, send me your questions, send me your thoughts. Send me or whatever the fuck go to speakpipe.com/theSarahSilvermanpodcast that speakpipe.com/theSarahSilvermanpodcast, and also subscribe, rate and review wherever you listen to podcasts that helps us stay on the air, and if you haven’t yet, now would be the perfect time to subscribe to Lemonada Premium. All you do is you just you hit the subscribe button if you’re on Apple podcasts, or if you’re on listening on another app, you can head to Lemonadapremium.com for bonus content, you won’t want to miss motherfucker, that’s lemonadapremium.com.

 

CREDITS  59:13

Thank you for listening to the Sarah Silverman podcast, we are a production of Lemonada media.  Kathryn Barnes and Isabella Kulkarni produce our show. Our mix is by James Sparber.  The show is recorded at the Invisible Studios in West Hollywood. Charles Carroll is our recording engineer.  Additional Lemonada support from Steve Nelson, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer.  Our theme was composed by Ben Folds. You can find me at @SarahKateSilverman on Instagram. Follow the Sarah Silverman podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.