Are You There, God? It’s Me, Jaime.
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Description
Questioning your faith is a healthy part of belief. But sometimes it can lead to uncomfortable or unsettling places. This week, Jaime chats with a listener whose faith in God is strong, but is starting to rethink her relationship with her church after the events of 2020. Plus: a listener struggling with the death of her mother and another who feels like God just isn’t that into her.
FYI: Tell Me What to Do contains mature language and themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Please note, this show is hosted and produced by a team that does not have any clinical or other mental or physical health training. If you are having a health or mental health crisis or emergency, please contact 911. For non-emergency mental health and addiction needs, try https://www.samhsa.gov for national and local resources.
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For additional resources, information, and a transcript of the episode, visit www.lemonadamedia.com/show/tmwtd
Transcript
SPEAKERS
Lisa, Jackson, Jaime Primak Sullivan
Jaime Primak Sullivan 00:00
I love God. I love him so much. I could just squeeze him.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Hey, God, what do you think of Elvis? Well, fuck God, I thought you were gonna talk. He’s not really gonna get back to you on that. Always learning the hard way. There’s nothing that is 100% we’re gonna keep on keepin on.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Hey guys, you’re listening to TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I’m your host, Jaime Primak Sullivan. And as always, Jackson is with me.
Jackson 00:42
Yes, I am.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I do appreciate that. I do love when you sing your answers. Jackson, have you heard about this Armie Hammer situation?
Jackson
Vaguely. I’m not totally familiar with it. I do know different certain details, but please enlighten me.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Ok, I’ll enlighten you. Okay, so Armie Hammer is an actor very handsome all American looking. He was in Call Me By Your Name as the straight guy, I guess. Who was really gay? I don’t know.
Jackson
I didn’t see it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay. But he’s Armie Hammer. What was he like Robin?
Jackson
Lone Ranger.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Lone Ranger. Lone Ranger. Okay. Anyway, whatever good looking guy. He has like a bunch of kids, three or four kids. And I think I’m pretty sure he’s divorced. If he wasn’t, he is now. We’ll say that. But I’m almost positive he was. Anyway. Long story short, this thing surfaces where Armie is apparently, his DMS were leaked. And in his DMS, he says things to women like “I want to break your ribs and suck on them like barbecue ribs. I want to drink your blood. I want to taste you.” He likes to tie women up. He likes to dominate them, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. People naturally were appalled.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 02:10
I was like, I’m confused. Where is all? What is wrong with this? Okay? There is a difference between saying I want to break your ribs and suck on them. Like I’m at a barbecue joint. Right? Like, I’m at Dreamland. And actually doing it.
Jackson
Right.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Like, I think we can all like, differentiate between saying things like, I want to choke you or whatever. And actually doing those things. Imagination and play is a crucial part to a full, like sex life. It’s not for everybody. I get that. But neither are Butt plugs. Right? Like, not for me. But who am I to say don’t put a plug in your ass? Like if that’s, you know what I mean? Like, I am here to shame no one. I date women or dated, should say. So now I’m gonna get all the letters. “Dear Jaime, you’re supposed to be married.” That’s not for everybody, you know? I think that there is a whole sub-dom world out there that people are very into that I myself am very intrigued by and also understand why women get into sub-dom relationships.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
So I don’t see a problem with consensual adult sub-dom relationships. I don’t see a problem with the way he speaks to women, if those women are willing participants. So Jaime, why do you bring this up? Because there is an abuse element that has now surfaced where women have said that they have used safe words, and he has ignored them.
Jackson 04:00
That’s a problem.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
This here in lies the problem in a sub-dom relationship. Sub-dom relationships are all about trust. If you cannot trust the person that you are with, i.e. using a safe word and then not responding. It’s no longer a sub-dom relationship. It’s rape or it’s abuse, right? Because if the agreement is you will choke me until I say coconut and then I say coconut and you continue to choke me. It is now you just trying to kill me, right? That’s what that is.
Jackson
That’s just murder.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
That’s murder. Okay that’s what that is. That’s murder while you’re inside me. Still murder though. See how that works? Or attempted?
Jackson
Right.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
So, the problem I would like to be very clear is not that Armie is a freak, or like sub-dom or has weird fetish about eating your body parts. So long as he’s not doing it. He’s not like Jeffrey Dahmer. It’s not like they broke into his house and found a freezer full of Fritos. That’d be weird. And also criminal.
Jackson
Yes.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I am not at all upset about Armie’s fetish. I do however have an issue with any abuse or forced entry or forced continuation or violation of rules, boundaries. That is the issue. And I think that’s like what people were not talking about. It was all it’s very click baity. “Armie Hammer wants to suck your ribs. “Well, really? Because I got about 15 rappers in my DMs who want to suck my toes. Is that a thing? I don’t know. Apparently. Yes, I know. I could make an OnlyFans page they’ve already told me and I could make 1000s of dollars on OnlyFans if I wanted to do like feet pictures. Seriously, legit.
Jackson
That seems like easy money. No question.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 06:02
Jackson’s like, way easier than what we’re doing in this office every day.
Jackson
Obviously, you’re a feet photographer.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Really? At what point would you get grossed out? Although I do have nice feet.
Jackson
I mean, I’m not gonna judge your feet. But I thought it grossed out day one just because they’re anyone’s feet that aren’t mine. You know?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Well, mine are really nice. Just saying.
Jackson
I’ll take your word for it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
So the inauguration took place. I’m not gonna lie. I thought it was beautiful. I love this country. I’m not always proud of her. But I always love her. And I thought Katy Perry singing Firework with all the fireworks was just what the doctor ordered. And I think Let’s Get Loud should be worked into every song going forward. The fact that Jennifer Lopez worked in Let’s Get Loud to the what was she singing? America the Beautiful?
Jackson
Something like that. One of those. Not the national anthem.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
It was the remix of This Land is your Land. Let’s get loud. Okay, Jennifer, okay, simmer down. Stick to the script. She’s going off prompter. Right? I did just love it. I thought Gaga was giving us a veto vibe with that whole look very Madonna esque.
Jackson
The poet was really, really amazing.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
First of all, who knew we had a national poet or whatever it’s called poet landlord.
Jackson
Poet laureate.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Laureate.
Jackson
I like poet landlord. (laughs)
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Amazing. She was amazing. She’s like this generations.
Jackson
Maya Angelou. She actually had a caged bird ring to represent Maya Angelou. It was very cool.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Listen, you know what? That was amazing. It was amazing. I just thought the whole thing given the state of the world and the, I don’t know, just, we needed it.
Jackson 08:10
We did need it. It is a symbol that the real work begins for this administration, that of recovering from the virus and everything. It’s like, it’s time to do stuff.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I got to be honest with you. I wouldn’t want the job. I’d get up there and be like, you know what, y’all I thought about this. I know y’all put a lot of money into this event planning. I know Gaga’s here. JLo is about to let’s get loud. I know. But I don’t really want this job. I changed my mind. Kamala, get at it. I’m going to the Waffle House.
Jackson
Now you got to. You got to get in the office, reveal all the alien information and then resign?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, I don’t even want to get in. I changed my mind. Okay. My mind has been changed. It’s too much pressure. Yes. But a lot of people prayed. There’s a lot of praying for America right now. And I am one who believes firmly in church separation of church and state. Because America was founded on freedom of religion. And I think that when people talk about prayer, a lot of times they talk about Jesus, which means you feel you have to feel inherently Christian. And there are non-Christians in this country. And I think it is the most important thing that every faith, and every race and every you know, everybody feels included and feels like they have a seat at the table. And so I believe in separation of church and state. With that being said, I have very strong faith as you know.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I was raised Jewish, I had a bat mitzvah, and then my dad died and I got angry at the world and was not finding the answers that I was searching for in the Jewish faith. Let me be very clear, that does not mean the answers in the Jewish faith don’t exist. I was just not finding them. And the Jews that I was raised with were like Jews of Convenience. They only went to temple on high holy days and like, had a brisk If they had a son, but like, you know, they didn’t like frame the foreskin or anything like there was nothing else going on. And really, Jesus just started coming for me in college, my best friend in college, her name was Marissa, I love her so much.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 10:13
She was very Christian. And I was Jewish. And she would always be talking to me about Jesus. And I would be like, Girl, we are not on the same, like, stop. And then after Marissa was Jessica, and Jessica’s father, and they would always talk to me about God and Jesus and God and Jesus. And what I didn’t realize was Jesus saw something in me, and he was coming for me. I thought it was annoying, because I wasn’t ready.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And when I was, I don’t know, in my 20s, I started going to church in Spanish with my little sister, who is adopted from the Dominican Republic, and I started to feel good, I wasn’t ready to like, take the plunge, but I’m not gonna lie. It’s a nice feeling to be surrounded by people who have faith. You know? It’s kind of even why cults work because it feels like a community, you know, even if they’re praying to like an alien or..
Jaime Primak Sullivan
A comet.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
A comet. A president, could happen.
Jackson
Could happen.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
So it did feel nice. And I started to open myself up to the possibility that maybe Jesus was real, or like, could help me. And then I got into an extremely abusive relationship with a narcissist, and I was suicidal and broken. And that’s when God came to me and said, Hi, here it is, finally. And, you know, I heard him that day on the bathroom floor. And for those of you don’t know, I was suicidal. And I was in the bathroom and I was ready to go, I had enough I was 26 years old, and felt that I was never going to heal from the damage this man had done to me. And I wanted to punish him and felt that if I had taken my own life, he would have to live with that forever.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 12:08
What God knew that I didn’t know in that moment was that narcissists would never actually have accountability for anything. They project and push blame on everybody else. So long story short, Jesus got me up off that floor, and he has been my homeboy ever since. And I think that I know that I am a much different person with God than without, it took me a long time to get comfortable with him. I just once you get saved doesn’t mean your relationship with God is automatically like peanut butter and jelly like it takes work, like any relationship, and he doesn’t do as much of the work as you want him to do.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
A lot of it is on you. It’s a lot of personal responsibility. And so until you’re ready to do the work. Sometimes the relationship with God feels one sided. All right, when we come back, I’m going to call up a listener who has a question about her relationship with God. But before we do that, let’s take a quick break.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, so we are back. So let’s get to it. Our guest listener would like to remain anonymous, so I will make up a name for her and her name will be Lisa. Okay, Lisa, thank you so much for being with me today. I’m so grateful to know you and to meet you.
Lisa
It’s nice to meet you.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You tried to stay away from alcohol, but eventually it caught up with you. And at your lowest point. That’s where you found God. Amen. Isn’t that amazing?
Lisa
Amen. That’s right.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I’m telling you; it really is at our lowest points when we feel the most unworthy and the least lovable, that he’s like Ta-da. So you now attend an evangelical Christian church.
Lisa 14:07
Right.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Which is a little foreign to me, because I went from Judaism to Catholicism, so not a lot of evangelical on the road, from Judaism to Catholicism, and you loved everything about it. But you felt that the lack of response to the murders George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, made you start to kind of question their Christianity. Is that a fair assessment?
Lisa
Not so much their Christianity, but there, I would say responsibility to us as followers of Christ, just how that all fits in or more, doesn’t fit in to our fate. How can we just not acknowledge it on any level.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yeah. And the truth is, I think a lot of times it comes down to money. That’s my struggle with organized religion. Their, you know, leadership is afraid to take a stance on anything that feels remotely political, although I don’t think murders should be field political, because they don’t want to hurt their money. And I understand that churches, and any religious organization runs, when well-funded. I’m not so naive to believe like, the church can just run on like kindness alone.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Cuz to be honest, we’re not that kind. We’re just not. The members of any given parish are not kind enough to keep a church running. Period. Okay, well, so I’d like to get to the second part of what you said, when you said that your daughter came out as gay.
Lisa
Right.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And that made you question organized religion, because there are such hard fast rules in a lot of organized religion against homosexuality. As you may or may not know, I am also gay.
Lisa 16:05
Yes.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And proudly so. I say it all the time. I’d never want to be straight ever, ever, ever, ever. When your daughter came out? Did you feel that there was a reaction from your church?
Lisa
Oh, they don’t know. yet. Well, not that they ever need to know. What it is, is she’s post college age and doesn’t live here. So when she called me just a few months ago, she was so incredibly nervous to spit her words out. That when she finally said it, I said, “Oh, my gosh, hon, you scared me.” I thought she was going to say she had COVID. And that’s what I said. And she’s kind of whispered, there’s some families who would think that was better news. And I told her well, we’re not one of those families.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Amen. Absolutely not,
Lisa
No hesitation, no hesitation, she went on, to tell me that her college youth group that she and her sister were very, very involved and did fantastic things for the community locally and globally. I think they made her sign something which I didn’t know at the time, that marriage is between a man and woman, that kind of stuff, it was spelled out that homosexuality is not acceptable. So she confided in me that she pretty much shut down at that point and felt like she would never have the family she wanted to have. It just was very confusing. And then fast forward to 2020. And she’s worked through a lot of that, thank goodness. So I told her, you know, I never bought into that doctrine. Ever. Before I was a Christian, during.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 18:05
Well, it’s like anything else, right, Lisa? It’s like you can be a member of a political party and not subscribe to every single belief they have. You can be a member of an organized religion and not subscribe to every belief they have. When you look at anything that you want to join. You say what best suits my personality, my choices, my ideology, my morals, and then you find something that’s 75% you. There’s nothing that is 100%. Catholicism couldn’t be 100% for me, because I’m gay. And I believe in a woman’s right to choose. Well, if I went by religion, I couldn’t even be Christian with those things could I?
Lisa
Amen.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I would be something else. I would have to have chosen something else. Or I probably could have stayed Jewish, I guess. But I don’t think you need to question organized religion. I think you need to say, does this church offer more good than they do bad? Do they add more to my life than they take away? Do my views and beliefs and faith align more with who they are? Or less? Now, you are a mother first.
Lisa
Absolutely.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
People like to say we’re children of God first. And like I guess if you’re going in an actual chronological order, sure. But once you become a mother, you’re a mother before you breathe, you’re a mother before you can anything. So if I had to choose my kid or Catholicism, I would choose my kids so fast, Catholicism would turn inside out. I love my faith, but it doesn’t compare to what I feel for my child. So I think it’s all about weighing the pros and cons, you know?
Lisa 20:04
Right. So when I called in, it’s not like I had a question as much as I was relating to the topic in terms of the shift that occurred to me in 2020. In terms of my faith, and how does that look. And how does it all fit in with certain doctrine? And what I have to tell you, is that watching you over the years, and like, oh, she’s Catholic, she was, you know, raised Jewish, and follows the Catholic religion. Now raising her kids in the Catholic Church. Oh, she kind of cusses a lot. Oh, and then she says, I really love Jesus. And then I find out, oh, she’s openly bisexual. Oh, and so when my daughter did call me. And we were talking more about it. And I said, you know, honey, Jaime, because you’re a household name here. You know, Jaime’s openly bisexual, and she loves Jesus. And she’s like, what? really?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And Jesus loves me.
Lisa
And Jesus loves you.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, my gosh, this is what I’m telling ya, Jesus loves me. There are some fanaticals who will have you believe that gay is not real. And it’s a choice. And we just decide. And you know what? I say to them, so is your fashion, Karen. So is your fashion, it’s a choice and I’m gonna let you go with it. I’m gonna let you go with it. But I, you know, listen, all I can say to you is if the good outweighs the bad in any organized religion, and it works for you. Stick with it. When it stops working for you. It’s okay to question that. And, and I love you. And I’m grateful for your relationship with God. And how lucky is your daughter to have you lucky, Lisa? And listen, don’t ever worry about her being gay.
Lisa 22:02
Oh, I’m not at all.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Yeah, don’t because she will have the life she wants. Because anybody gay or straight has to fight for the life they want. Being gay doesn’t mean you don’t fight for the life you want. It just means you like people with the same body parts as you. That’s it. That is the only difference, she will struggle, she will get bored in her relationship, she will fall in and out of love, like Adele 1000 times. And she will call you and say “Oh, she’s getting on my nerves” She will call you and say she met someone new. All of the things. And then she will say mom, “My biological clock is ticking. And I think it’s time to have a baby” and you’ll still be a grandma and the law in the world will continue spinning long after both of us are gone.
Lisa
Right.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
But the good news is that despite our questions, which is what God wants, by the way. He never expects us to not question. He loves us and we love him. So how lucky are we?
Lisa
And an I just add that in the past year, we didn’t know she if she hadn’t come out. But we saw that she was happier than ever. And I guess she you know; she had been working on things and there was a level of acceptance. And that’s what I told her. I said, hon, you this last year, like you something in you shines. And whatever that is, we’re all here for it. And to quote her, her brother, who’s a teenager here when she called and told him and he was on speaker he’s like, it doesn’t matter. You’re just you and if anything would make me really sad if you lived someone that you weren’t.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
That’s also a sin against God to not fulfill the reason for which you were created. That’s, not what he wants, either. Well, I love meeting you. I’m so grateful that you came on.
Lisa
Love meeting you.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And thank you for just supporting me, truly.
Lisa 24:01
Oh, I’m a super fan.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I appreciate it more than I could express.
Lisa
Thank you, Jaime.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Before we answer any more of your questions, I need to take a quick break.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
We’re back.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, listener question number one. This question comes from a listener named Janelle who reached out via email and she says:
Jaime Primak Sullivan 24:36
“On Friday afternoon I held my mom’s hand and watched her pass away she was 61. She went to my grandparents’ house before Christmas to make sure they had everything they needed as she does every month. My grandpa unknowingly had COVID and had passed it on to her. He was also hospitalized, but is possibly coming home tomorrow and I am struggling with why. I am faltering and having faith in I am angry that God would take my mom who was young, and that my grandfather, though I love him dearly is 89 and surviving. I am also struggling with the afterlife as most worry when family dies. I just keep saying I need her. I need a sign. She’s okay. I want to know she’s with me, but my grief is keeping my head clouded. My anger is blinding me. Additionally, how do I treat my grandpa the same and not have blame? How do I have faith that my mom is in his hands?”
Jaime Primak Sullivan
That is fucking heavy, Janelle. Let me first say I am so sorry for your loss. I hate this fucking virus, and fuck this whole virus. Truly. Second, I want to say that anger is a human emotional response to situations that are either out of our control or out of our ability to understand we’re both. And anger is normal. having faith in God and our God is not an assurance that bad things that won’t happen to you. You can have the strongest faith in God and people will still die. It doesn’t matter death is part of this life. And when he is ready for us to come home, he is going to call us via peacefully in our sleep via a fucking virus we hate via a jeep accident via cancer, right? Because we all get the call. It’s part of it.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 26:25
And let me say it again that having faith in God does not mean bad things won’t happen to you. It is not an assurance that people you love won’t die that you won’t get sick. What can you do? Because that is what you are asking me what can you do with faltering faith and anger? Tell him God is not fragile, cry, scream, shout, curse, don’t take his name in vain. But saying fuck is not a sin against God. Tell him how angry you are. He can handle it. He understands. But place blame on the devil and not on God. God does not do this to us, nor does he prevent bad things from happening. If that were the case, then we would all be born and our life’s would be perfect and everything we’d all be a size four. Perfectly fit. Gorgeous, flawless, you know, with the best orgasms.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
And never suffer or struggle anything because God would just give us perfect cush lives. Don’t forget when God’s saved the Jews in Exodus, they spent 40 years suffering in the desert. What kind of fucking saving is that, Lord? He could have pulled them out of Egypt and put them in some palace with fucking air conditioning, but he didn’t. He saved them to make them suffer for 40 years in the desert. Or maybe he didn’t make them suffer, but they did. place blame where it belongs on the devil. Pray, what else can you do? You can pray specifically for courage, for strength, for peace, for healing, for fucking anything you need right now.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 28:14
Because that’s what he’s listening to. God speaks through prayer. So pray, Janelle. And trust. Trust that your mother is with him because there is no proof that she isn’t. And our faith teaches us that she is, so why doubt that now? There is nothing in your email that you have shared with me that would make me believe that she is not with our maker. And Janelle, you have to know that your grandfather, her father would never willingly do anything to hurt his child. I can’t imagine the sadness, guilt that he is dealing with knowing what has transpired. Don’t be angry at him. If anything, cling to him. Because he is 89 and his days are numbered. And he needs to know that the people who love him forgive him because God knows he probably will never forgive himself.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Love is the only thing that you have now. Love and Faith. I know you’re angry. It is unfair. No one is questioning that. But don’t be angry at your grandfather. He didn’t do this. He didn’t do this. I am again so sorry for your loss. And your anger is normal and healthy and natural. Just don’t let it consume you like I did, Janelle. Because it ruined my life for 10 years and it ruined the lives of everyone I came in contact with. If only I had learned healing and forgiveness and grace in my 20s. I could have spared so many people, the wrath of my anger against God. So trust your friend Jaime. Tell God, you are angry. He is not fragile place blame where blame is do.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 30:19
Pray for courage, for strength and for peace and trust in God and know that he is truly King. And your mother is safely and happily with him and she is waiting for you patiently, she is in no rush. Because time is nothing there. And when you get there, it will be like she didn’t miss a beat. Thank you for writing in and know that I love you very much.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Our last question comes from a listener named Jody who wrote me an email and she writes:
Jaime Primak Sullivan
“Jaime, if there is any podcast topic I need, it’s this one. I read your book, The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl multiple times.” Actually, thank you. “And you talk about being saved in your late 20s.” It was actually my mid-20s. But yes, and she says “while I am there now. A little background. I grew up in a spiritual home my whole life. But we were never really weekly church people. In the middle end of 2019, I made the choice to have a closer connection to God instead of the passive one I’ve grown up having. But I am struggling. I know you’re not supposed to compare. But I’ve heard so many people talk about their come to Jesus moment and that there was a moment they knew he was there.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
The best way I can put it is I keep trying. And I just feel like I’m being ignored. I don’t feel him around and it breaks my heart because I want that connection more than anything, but I am at a loss and how to get it. I just feel like I’m pestering a friend who doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. What am I doing wrong? And should I stop?” I’m only giggling Jody, because that is the cutest comparison. “I feel like I am pestering a friend who doesn’t want to be in the friendship anymore.” Well, God, first of all, congratulations on making a choice to have a closer connection to God. Because that alone is such an awesome, awesome thing. And by the way, one that was not come to alone.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 32:15
God was in that decision with you. Also, right now, he’s probably showing you how much you can handle on your own. Sometimes the teacher is truly quietest during the test, and we want to know how come I can hear you and he’s saying, because I’m the one doing the listening. Well, fuck God, I thought you were gonna talk I thought this was gonna be a lot more two sided. And as I said at the top of this podcast, most of our relationship with God is one sided, he listens a lot more than he speaks. What is it that you are saying? Are you praying with intent? Because if you’re just walking around going like, “Hey, God, what do you think of Elvis? Are you an Elvis fan? God?”
Jaime Primak Sullivan
He’s not really going to get back to you on that. So pray specifically for our relationship with God. One that you can hear his voice at the time of need when you need it. Because by the way, he is not in the details. He is not in the grocery list and the should I go to the gym. And do you like the smell of this shampoo. And sometimes we want him to be because it reminds us, we need the constant reminder. But you know what? That’s like those relationships to people who can’t go more than 15 minutes without texting each other. And it’s like, “come on” you don’t need to screenshot every message. You don’t need to text every thought, you know? That’s God. He’s watching you; I promise you; you are doing nothing wrong.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
In fact, you are doing everything right. Because when God doesn’t have to constantly be plucking you by your suspenders. It’s because you’re not fucking up. Jody. You’re doing it all right. He doesn’t have to get loud like Jennifer Lopez. Kinda jealous, because I feel like he never stopped yelling at me. I’m always learning the hard way. What’s it like God to just have a relationship with God where he doesn’t have to constantly push you down a flight of stairs to teach you a lesson.
Jaime Primak Sullivan 34:22
Must be nice. And I’m envious of you because I wish I had a relationship with him from the time I was young. I do think that it could have avoided a lot of bad shit. Although I have a great relationship with God now and I continuously make bad decisions. So maybe I’m just a person who makes bad decisions. Also, it is kind of romantic to me that the devil wants me so bad, but so does God. It’s kind of like Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans fighting over you.
Jackson
Which one’s the devil?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I knew you were gonna say that Jackson because you’re such a Marvel fan. You couldn’t let it go.
Jackson
Fine. I’ll let it go. I don’t care.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Thor and Captain America, who do you think is the devil?
Jackson
I think Chris Evans is the holy pure so I would make Chris Hemsworth the devil there.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No questions asked. Listen to me friends. The absolute hardest, most rewarding, amazing relationship you will have is the one you have with God. It has changed my life. It has allowed me to love myself and others, parent, wife, girlfriend, boss, co-work, all of it. And when you can pray for yourself, don’t worry, I’m praying for you. I pray for everybody all the time and with intention so I got you covered. But guys spiritual journey is ongoing. It doesn’t have to be fulfilled in any kind of prophecy today. It’s okay if you’re only halfway there. Who said it best Bon Jovi did? Well?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
(singing livin’ on a prayer)
Jaime Primak Sullivan 36:17
Okay, Jersey. That’s what I’m talking about. So we’re gonna keep on keepin on. And we’re gonna keep God in our pocket. Right? Because Jackson, do you like God?
Jackson
I love God.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You do?
Jackson
Absolutely.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Love?
Jackson
That’s you’re supposed to do, right?
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Oh, Jackson.
Jackson
No one just likes him. We’re supposed to love him.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
No, I know. But do you really love him?
Jackson
Yeah.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Do you pray?
Jackson
When I need to.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Okay, so..
Jackson
I mean, some people make a daily effort to do it. Like at night. You only
Jaime Primak Sullivan
You only pray when you need to?
Jackson
Yeah.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
Like when you’re pooping and it hurts so bad. And you’re sweating. And you’re like, I swear to you, God, if you get me through this one, I will never blank blank again and he looks down. He laughs, he goes, Nope, I’m gonna keep you on that toilet goes, you are going to blank blank again. I know you are. Because that’s the metaphor for God. We pray with intent and loudly when we’re in pain. And then as soon as he delivers us from evil. We go right back to blank blank and again. And you know what he waits for the next time we are naked and shaking on the toilet. He’s like, ah, we meet again.
Jaime Primak Sullivan
I love it. I love God. I love him so much. I can just squeeze him. Alright, that is my episode for today. I love God so much. And I know I keep saying that but it’s just true. Can’t help it. Cannot help it. And I want you all to have the best day and please share this podcast with a friend anybody who is faltering or thinking or curious. God curious. Anybody who may be gay and wondering where their place is. Anyone who wants to hear a metaphor for God and diarrhea. And just know that I love you. And thank you so much for listening. Until next week.
CREDITS
TELL ME WHAT TO DO is a production of Lemonada Media. The show is produced by Kryssy Pease and Alex McOwen. It’s edited by Ivan Kuraev. Music is by Dan Molad. Jessica Cordova Kramer, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jaime Primak Sullivan, are our executive producers. Rate and review us and follow us at @LemonadaMedia on all your favorite social platforms. Of course you can follow me at Jaime Primak Sullivan on Facebook or at @JamiePSullivan on Instagram. If you have any questions for me that you want me to answer on the show, give me a call at 833-453-6662
