It’s Yom Kippur, and Little God wants an apology from Noa. Meanwhile, Noa gets an unexpected apology from someone else.
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Speaker 15 01:55
Come in, come in agent fart face. Asian chicken butt here with top secret news on my latest invention. What’s the robo patter you ask? It’s a back massager. But not just any back massager. The best back massager. Cuz it’s me with real. I’m sorry agent fart face there is no Abby here.
Speaker 2 02:36
You have to stop waking me up like this.
Speaker 15 02:44
I can’t hear you agent fat face. Please use your walkie talkie.
Speaker 2 02:49
Speaker 15 02:52
Saturday. The perfect day for the robo patter.
Speaker 2 02:55
Wait. Did you say that you make this thing with actual hands? From like, dead people?
Speaker 15 03:10
That’s the one thing I can’t figure out. Where do you find the dead people to cut off their arm?
Speaker 2 03:15
Oh my god. Abby. Creepy much.
Speaker 15 03:20
It’s not creepy. You take out the bones and replace them with robot finger.
Speaker 2 03:26
Right. That’s much better. Okay, you keep thinking about chopping up dead people. I’m gonna take a shower.
Speaker 15 03:36
Don’t you ever feel like you want someone to lie with you and massage your back all night long?
Speaker 2 04:00
Dad, the hot water is out again.
Speaker 14 04:08
I heard you I’ll get some water boiling
Speaker 2 04:10
That takes forever.
Speaker 14 04:13
I’ll drive you to the […]
Speaker 2 04:15
The […] is gross. You have no idea what it’s like in that locker room. Those ladies have their boobs hanging out in there dangly.
Speaker 14 04:25
Okay, I’ll call the plumber. But it’s gonna be a while.
Speaker 2 04:28
How long? I said how long?
Speaker 14 04:34
I heard you. I get paid on Friday.
Speaker 2 04:37
Oh, wait, no, no, no, no, I can’t do this again. Dad. I have to shower. I smell like armpits. Like your armpits. Why did you pass your armpit smell down to me?
Speaker 14 04:53
Because I love having a stinky teenager. Stop screaming at me. I’ll fix figure it out, okay? Just get dressed and I’ll take you somewhere.
Speaker 2 05:25
Sorry, almost done.
Speaker 3 05:28
Don’t put it so close to your head. You’ll fry your roots.
Speaker 2 05:32
I’m so sorry, Livi. It wasn’t my idea to come here.
Speaker 3 05:35
I know. I know. Just stop. Okay, stop apologizing.
Speaker 2 05:41
It’s Emanuel. We named your hair dryer? Remember, because mannies is short for an Emanuel, and he shortens the dry time on your mannies. I miss Emmanuel. Emmanuel isn’t the only thing I’ve been missing about Livi’s house. I’ve missed her air hockey table and her electric scooter. But most of all, most of all, I’ve missed these carpets. Don’t judge me. They’re cushy. And if you ever come here, which you shouldn’t, because Livi is not nice anymore. But if you do, take off your socks and go barefoot, trust me. It’s like walking on a floor made of the softest stuffed animals. Even the stairs are soft, which makes them amazing for writing down on your butt. Remember when we used to color vaginas front butts?
Speaker 3 06:35
Speaker 2 06:36
Speaker 3 06:37
I mean, yeah, like in second grade.
Speaker 2 06:41
And then we started calling them waffles.
Speaker 3 06:43
We were so immature.
Speaker 2 06:45
Because it’s like, if you can call it a cuter you can basically call it anything. And then your mom asked us if we want waffles for breakfast. And then other time remember when we snorted pepper and we were sneezing everywhere?
Speaker 3 07:00
Oh my god, Noa, why are you so obsessed with remembering?
Speaker 2 07:04
Sorry for thinking you might still be fun.
Speaker 3 07:07
Sorry, I don’t remember you being so melodramatic.
Speaker 2 07:19
Okay, I guess I’m done. You shouldn’t sit like that, you know? Like your legs crossed. You’ll get varicose veins.
Speaker 6 07:35
What’s up old fashioned? You’re the only person I know who uses a phone like an actual phone.
Speaker 2 07:42
In case you forgot. That’s all I have. And last I checked you can’t text from a landline.
Speaker 6 07:48
No, I love that you call. It’s cute. Are you okay?
Speaker 2 07:52
Yeah. No, not really
Speaker 6 07:56
Want to do something?
Speaker 2 07:58
Do you have a life size doll with Livi’s face that I can beat up.
Speaker 6 08:02
Speaker 2 08:03
No, four dolls one for each Olivia.
Speaker 6 08:07
Someone needs to de stress. I know what you need. Meet me at the grocery store downtown.
Speaker 2 08:14
Seb, you don’t understand food isn’t gonna help.
Speaker 6 08:17
Just trust me. I told you.
Speaker 2 08:44
This is exactly I still would die and blame you. Girl loses friends. A boy tries to cheer her up. Accidentally pushes her death in a shopping cart.
Speaker 6 08:56
If you’re going down I’m coming with you. I’m jumping on 1. 2. 3.
Speaker 2 09:13
That’s way better than hitting Olivia’s. Anyone using a shopping cart just for shopping is a boring idiot.
Speaker 6 09:21
And we are surrounded by boring idiots.
Speaker 2 09:24
Okay, your turn. Get in. Okay. No, no, let me out first. Okay, ready?
Speaker 6 09:33
Always. Oh, wait, wait, wait my phone. Brielle?
Speaker 2 09:38
As in queen bee Brielle?
Speaker 6 09:41
Yeah, that one.
Speaker 2 09:44
I forgot your popular.
Speaker 6 09:46
She’s inviting me to her party.
Speaker 2 09:48
Last Brielle had a party everyone coupled up and made out like, all at the same time, in the same room. And that’s what I heard. I don’t get invited to these things.
Speaker 6 09:59
Come with me. No, no, no not to like not to make out or anything. Just a party. It’ll be fun.
Speaker 2 10:07
Parties aren’t fun. This is fun shopping carts are fun.
Speaker 6 10:11
We can sit in the corner and, and get drunk and make fun of the populars.
Speaker 2 10:22
Maybe I don’t know. I’m not so drinky.
Speaker 6 10:26
No judgment. But why not?
Speaker 2 10:29
It’s just like, what if I say something? I don’t mean? Or what if I do mean it but I didn’t mean to say it.
Speaker 6 10:35
But you got to take risks sometimes. Right? You end up like one of those people who just used a shopping carts for shopping.
Speaker 2 10:42
I’m not one of those people.
Speaker 6 10:45
Sorry, she’s texting again. Nothing. Just pushed me. I’m ready. Bombs away.
Speaker 2 10:59
Okay, here we go. Tell me what Brielle said.
Speaker 6 11:04
You’re not gonna like it. Someone wants me to be there at the party, a girl.
Speaker 2 11:13
Who? Sorry. Did I hit a bump?
Speaker 6 11:17
No, not like oh shit, like O, like the second person, the girl, O.
Speaker 2 11:23
O, the person who stole my friends.
Speaker 6 11:26
That’s the one. She’s awful, right? But she’s hot.
Speaker 2 11:33
Speaker 6 11:34
She has those like crazy pale blue eyes. And they’re like oh big and hypnotizing.
Speaker 2 11:41
I know. That’s what all the guys say. Do you actually like her? And why she even invited it’s not like the Olivia’s are popular. Popular. They’re medium popular.
Speaker 6 11:51
Yeah. But like, a broken leg changes everything. Especially on a hot girl. Haven’t you seen guys like, lining up down the hallway to sign those cast?
Speaker 2 12:01
Yeah. But not you.
Speaker 6 12:05
It’s okay. Oh my god. Brielle just screengrab the DM that O sent her.
Speaker 2 12:19
Seb it’s fire emoji fire emoji fire emoji. Water droplets emoji.
Speaker 6 12:25
I don’t know. I guess all my hotness is making her sweat. Read the next one.
Speaker 2 12:33
I’ve always wanted brown babies. She’s you should text back a bunch of brown baby emojis. Someone’s jealous. No, I just hate her. She ruined my life. Are you seriously gonna hook up with her?
Speaker 6 12:50
I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.
Speaker 2 12:55
If you don’t like her. Then why would you?
Speaker 6 12:59
Cuz she’s the hottest girl in our grade. What would the guys say? If they found out that I turned her down. They will they will find out because that’s how all this stuff goes.
Speaker 2 13:11
Okay, I’ll come. I’ll go to the party with you. Cuz then you’ll have an out. You’ll be too busy in the corner. With me. Making fun of people. I mean, not. So when is it? When’s the party?
Speaker 6 13:29
Speaker 2 13:30
No, I can’t it’s […]. You come with me.
Speaker 6 13:35
Speaker 2 13:37
Speaker 6 13:41
Party where I might get some verses the Day of Atonement. Yeah. Tough call.
Speaker 2 13:49
I’ll make it fun.
Speaker 6 13:51
I will. Whoa, whoa. Thanks for the warning. Faster, faster. Faster. Wait, wait wait, where are you taking me?
Speaker 2 14:06
Around the block? What do you mean, that’s the street, gonna take right.
Speaker 15 14:17
Do you ever wonder how many ways there are to die? Getting shot with a gun, getting stabbed with a knife, there’s drowning, strangling, suffocating, getting hit with a champagne cork.
Speaker 2 14:44
That’s not a thing. It just happened to Luka.
Speaker 15 14:46
There’s falling off a bridge. You know, I like driving on the top of the Double Decker Bridge. Because if it collapses you get to live just a little bit longer.
Speaker 2 14:59
Dad, can you make stupid hotter? I’m freezing.
Speaker 14 15:02
She’s as high as she’ll go.
Speaker 15 15:04
Why don’t you just snuggle with Seb? He’ll keep you warm.
Speaker 2 15:07
Oh my god, Abby.
Speaker 14 15:09
Who’s stupid? The car. She’s not the brightest, but she gets us where we need to go.
Speaker 2 15:16
Except when she doesn’t.
Speaker 14 15:18
Which is why she’s stupid. Hey, Seb, what’s it like living on Main Street?
Speaker 6 15:25
I don’t know. Kinda like living at the mall, but one with only swanky stores.
Speaker 14 15:33
You know, when I was a kid, it wasn’t
Speaker 2 15:34
like that. We know that. All the mom-and-pop shops, the Bookstore Cafe that was painted pink. The CD store that only had jazz.
Speaker 15 15:43
Don’t mind her Seb, she gets angry when she’s hungry. It’s your first time fasting because she’s 13 now, which makes you a Jewish adult, old enough to starve.
Speaker 6 15:54
I’m actually fasting with her in solidarity. Makes good practice for Ramadan.
Speaker 15 15:59
Oh, they’re fasting together.
Speaker 2 16:02
What does that even mean?
Speaker 14 16:04
Anyway, I was gonna tell set before someone interrupted that his apartment is right above where Duffys used to be. It was this awesome stationery store.
Speaker 2 16:17
Where the owners knew everyone’s names and they let you hang out under the desks and read comics.
Speaker 14 16:22
And they had the best stuff. All kinds of pens and notebooks, planners. They had a whole camera section where you could get your film developed. I got my word processor there in high school, just like this. Like an electric typewriter with the screen.
Speaker 2 16:37
Abby stopped playing with the locks.
Speaker 15 16:39
I never get to sit up front though.
Speaker 14 16:41
Yeah, give it a rest, Ab.
Speaker 6 16:43
Tell us more about olden times, Mr. Bloom.
Speaker 2 16:47
Do not encourage him.
Speaker 14 16:48
Well, Seb, the most interesting thing about Duffy’s is how it ended. It was murder.
Speaker 6 16:56
Speaker 14 16:57
Yeah. Well, it’s actually not clear if it was murder or suicide. So you know what embezzling means? So the Duffy’s, they were brothers. And Dave ran the stationery department and Don did electronics. And they were embezzling, stealing from the business. And they got away with it for a long time. But then there was a big family feud over like, who got to keep more of the money, and someone tipped off the authorities. And not long after that. Dave washed up on the beach, all the way on the other side of the bay. And Don’s story was that Dave drowned himself because he couldn’t bear the shame of it all. But there was no note.
Speaker 2 17:51
Can I finish?
Speaker 14 17:52
Yeah, sure, honey.
Speaker 2 17:54
He didn’t leave a note. And if you think about how much stationery that guy had, it really doesn’t add up.
Speaker 6 18:01
And their store was downstairs from where I live?
Speaker 14 18:05
Yeah, but now it’s a wine shop. So think about that. No, don’t think about wine. Think about the spa next door. Think about massages. Seb, hey, I feel bad. I didn’t mean to scare you. I can get a little carried away talking about this town and its history of strange deaths and scandals, that kind of stuff. It’s been happening here ever since I was a kid before that, too. And now I see a lot of it in my job.
Speaker 6 18:51
Are you a cop?
Speaker 14 18:53
Oh, no. I’m a writer for the Plainview press. Not as cool as what all my J school pals are up to. Not covering the White House or writing bestsellers or anything.
Speaker 15 19:06
You write important things, dad.
Speaker 14 19:07
Speaker 15 19:08
What about that dirty old art teacher?
Speaker 14 19:11
Yeah. I did not enjoy writing about that. He was my teacher when I was a kid. Used to drop crayons on the floor so he could look up girls skirts.
Speaker 2 19:24
Didn’t he have a computer full of kiddie porn?
Speaker 14 19:26
Yep. hanged himself.
Speaker 2 19:33
What about that couple that got shot? The ones who are in the jewelry store?
Speaker 14 19:37
Yeah. After 9/11. Man, you guys really know how to have a light conversation.
Speaker 2 19:43
Please. You’re the one who tells these stories all the time.
Speaker 15 19:46
And what about Luca Scott? You’re famous for writing the story about him.
Speaker 14 19:52
I don’t know about that. People just talked about it a lot.
Speaker 6 19:56
Do you really think Hunter did it, Mr. Bloom? But what do you think? I can’t imagine killing your best friend.
Speaker 14 20:07
I don’t know. Everyone’s got a different story. And Hunter’s dad is a hotshot lawyer, so maybe we’ll never know.
Speaker 6 20:16
What is it with this place?
Speaker 14 20:18
Yeah. You know sometimes I wonder if the more tennis courts a town has the more weird deaths it has too. Maybe one day I’ll write a best seller about it.
Speaker 2 20:39
You guys, go ahead. We’ll meet you in there. Okay?
Speaker 15 20:41
Are you gonna kiss? Are you gonna sneak food?
Speaker 2 20:47
Oh my god, Ab, I just want to tell Seb what’s happening today. He’s never been to temple.
Speaker 14 20:51
Abby, come, I gotta get you to your classroom. Which group are you in this year? younger or older? Hey, Noa, save me a seat if you get in there first. And not too close to the front. Good girl.
Speaker 2 21:08
Okay, ready? Hold on your hand.
Speaker 6 21:14
Thanks. I do want some black pepper on my hand.
Speaker 2 21:20
Speaker 6 21:22
Is this a Jewish tradition?
Speaker 2 21:24
It’s for fun. We’re gonna snort it.
Speaker 6 21:39
Do you understand any of this?
Speaker 2 21:43
No. I can only read it. I know a little. […] is king. […] is basically shut up children.
Speaker 6 22:55
Ah, I feel woozy. Oh, we just hungry.
Speaker 8 23:17
Way to make a scene on the holiest day of the year.
Speaker 2 23:20
Oh, what kid cares about Yom Kippur?
Speaker 6 23:24
Dude, you just always appear out of nowhere.
Speaker 8 23:29
Of course I do. God is omnipresent.
Speaker 6 23:33
That you follow us out here.
Speaker 8 23:34
So what if I did, I have something to say to Noa.
Speaker 2 23:37
Micah, you’re not supposed to be talking to me.
Speaker 8 23:41
Are you on a date or something?
Speaker 2 23:42
Yeah. It’s a date.
Speaker 6 23:44
A hot Yom Kippur date.
Speaker 8 23:47
You’re messing with me?
Speaker 6 23:49
No. It’s true. Deal with it.
Speaker 2 23:52
Yeah. I said on a date. Want to know why Micah? Because I’m in love with him. I’m crazy about him. I can’t stop thinking about him. I think about him every night when I go to sleep. I have dreams about him. Sexy dreams. So please, would you just go away and let us be on our date?
Speaker 8 24:19
First, you have to atone.
Speaker 2 24:27
For what? Saying sexy in temple?
Speaker 8 24:31
No, for saying I suck in front of everyone.
Speaker 6 24:35
You are a legit stalker.
Speaker 8 24:37
You know nothing about this. It’s a day of atonement. It’s for our tribe. Noa, I want things to be good between us. In case you haven’t noticed. I am being very cool about you choosing this tool over me. And all I’m asking for is an apology.
Speaker 2 24:55
I’m sorry. Okay?
Speaker 8 24:57
Say it like you mean it.
Speaker 2 24:59
Speaker 8 25:02
You can’t do it, can you? You can’t do it sincere?
Speaker 2 25:06
What do you want me to say Micah? Sometimes people do mean things and they don’t apologize. And you just have to suck it up.
Speaker 8 25:14
That’s it. I’m not talking to you anymore. But I still love you. I will always love you. Maybe one day, you’ll care when this fool breaks your heart.
Speaker 2 25:38
Okay, so do I really have to look at Seb right now? I mean, obviously, I was joking about all that date stuff. And dream stuff. It was a joke to get God to go away. Obviously. He knows that right? Please Seb. Don’t make me be the first one to talk. Just say something.
Speaker 6 26:00
Noa. I’m sorry.
Speaker 2 26:04
What? No, no, no, no, I’m the one who’s sorry. That was weird. It was the pepper talking.
Speaker 6 26:11
Just stop. Listen. I need you to know. I really, really like you like a lot. But I don’t like you the way you like me.
Speaker 2 26:29
I don’t know. I don’t like you. That was just, it was an act. I was acting to get God to go away.
Speaker 6 26:37
But I just I need to tell you something. Just so we’re clear. So, you know, I said that fight with God wasn’t my first fight. Well, there’s this kid at my old school and we kind of had a thing. It wasn’t like he was my boyfriend or anything. It was just like something that happened sometimes when we hung out, you know what I’m saying?
Speaker 2 27:02
I think so.
Speaker 6 27:04
And then somehow, kids found out and it wasn’t good. Okay, so at lunch one day, the guy, he punched me or he tried to but he missed, so I punched him right in the face. And then he kicked me in the nuts. And I broke his nose. So I got expelled, and yada, yada, yada. We moved to Plainview.
Speaker 2 27:31
Wow, Seb. That sounds so hard.
Speaker 6 27:35
You’re not mad?
Speaker 2 27:36
Why would I be mad? You’re trusting me with like, your secret. That’s like the biggest compliment.
Speaker 6 27:41
Okay, good. Good. I was worried you won’t want to be friends anymore.
Speaker 2 27:46
So wait, I’m confused, what about O, I thought you like, wanted her.
Speaker 6 27:53
I mean, I can see why people think she’s hot. And she is. I mean, if I was at that party, and she came on to me, maybe I would have gone along with it. I’ve never been popular before. And those jocks they think I’m one of them, which is nice for a change, but it’s exhausting too just like pretending all the time. So thanks for being someone I don’t have to pretend with.
Speaker 2 28:29
Oh, yeah, definitely. No pretending. this is why crushes are stupid. It’s why love is stupid. If you buy into it, it will destroy you. It’ll turn around and kick you where it counts. Wait, did you think I was talking about me? No. I was talking about Seb and his friend from his old school. Me? I’m fine.
Speaker 14 29:14
Thanks for helping me drive. Hey, is something going on? Just seems like something’s going on.
Speaker 2 29:30
Why don’t we have a dishwasher?
Speaker 14 29:33
You can go to bed if you’re tired.
Speaker 2 29:34
No, no, I can finish. How much money do we have? I just want to know, How much money do we have?
Speaker 14 29:44
Who asked? Were your friends talking about how much money they have? Was it Livi or Dani who’s asking?
Speaker 2 29:52
Nobody’s asking. I’m asking.
Speaker 14 29:55
But why are you asking?
Speaker 2 29:57
Is it $0? Is it negative dollars? Why are we always running out of money? Why can’t you pay to get the water fixed? My hands are cold. Why are we washing dishes with cold water?
Speaker 14 30:08
Noa. How much money you have? It’s not really something you can. It’s like there’s how much money you have in the bank versus how much..
Speaker 2 30:16
Why I don’t have a phone?
Speaker 14 30:18
We’ve been over this. It’s an unnecessary expenses.
Speaker 2 30:20
How come we only buy clothes that are way on sale that everyone else has rejected? Or clothes that used to belong to other people? Do you know that someone’s dad once told me my shirt used to be his and a sixth grader told me stupid her old car. Why was my Bar Mitzvah party just some lame lunch at Temple?
Speaker 2 30:26
People do that.
Speaker 2 30:48
Nobody here does that.
Speaker 14 30:52
Listen, I get it. Money is basically all I think about. And how can I not? When I see other parents, they talk my ear off about their […] and their vacates. As if I can relate. And most of them have paid millions to knock down houses like ours to build new ones. And you know, it’s not like I pictured raising my kids in the house where I grew up. I feel for you. I really do, Noa. I don’t want things to feel like a struggle all the time. But I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got.
Speaker 2 31:31
Why do I have to put sunscreen on your back at the beach?
Speaker 14 31:37
What? Where’d that come from? You don’t have to. I’ll ask Abby next time. Oh my god. Stop throwing the silverware.
Speaker 2 31:50
It’s weird to have to put sunscreen on your dad. I can’t rub it in with all that hair and sometimes your pimples and it’s gross.
Speaker 14 31:58
What are you doing? I just washed those.
Speaker 2 32:00
It’s fine. I’ll just wash them again. Ice water.
Speaker 14 32:05
Come on, Noa, stop. What is going on? I’ll wear a shirt at the beach, okay?
Speaker 2 32:12
You don’t get it. Why isn’t she here? Why isn’t she putting sunscreen on your hairy back? Why wasn’t she at my Bar Mitzvah? You said we kept it small so it would be just a family thing. But how is it a family thing?
Speaker 14 32:29
Honey, honey? I know it’s hard.
Speaker 2 32:33
Was she just never that into you?
Speaker 14 32:36
Speaker 2 32:43
I didn’t mean that like that.
Speaker 14 32:48
I know. I know you didn’t. Noa, I want to be able to tell you more about your mom. I wish I could tell you why she left. Why she never called her. Explained it. But it’s kind of hard to know what’s going on in another person’s head when they won’t even talk to you.
Speaker 2 33:17
It’s not fair. For Abby, it’s like she never existed. It’s like she died. But for me, I remember her.
Speaker 2 33:39
Come in agent chicken butt, agent chicken butt are you awake? Okay, I guess you’re sleeping. But I have something to tell you. It can’t wait till tomorrow. I need to get it out. Who knows? Maybe you’ll hear this in your dreams. So the robo patter, it sounds like an awesome idea. And I’m sorry I was such a jerk about it.
Speaker 15 34:04
You fell for it agent fart face I was faking, I heard everything you said. Everything you and dad said too. Don’t worry about money. It’s not fair. Kids here have everything. Eva has four bathrooms and they have golden faucets. The wireless garage has three doors and everyone has a bathtub, that’s really a hot tub
Speaker 2 34:28
Speaker 2 34:35
HERE LIES ME is a Lemonada Media original in collaboration with the longest shortest time. Executive producers are Stephanie Wittels Wachs, Jessica Cordova Kramer and me, Hillary Frank. I also wrote and directed the show. Hannah Boomershine is our producer. Peter Clowney is our story editor. Ivan Kuraev is our audio engineer. Music by Casey Holford with drums by Sasha. Our artwork which changes every week is by Lindsay Stripling. Thank you to the High School for the Performing and Visual Arts in Houston, Texas where we found our team cast and to the spruced in and space on writer farm, where I developed the pilot for this project. Special thanks to Val Bodurtha Eartha, Xorje Olivares, Jonathan, and Michael Raphael. The voices you heard today are Ollie Grishaber, Grant Eason, Rafael Pina, Rebecca Lembcke, Anna Marie Tobin, Emma Ogier, Vineeth Nadella, Julian Cotom, Anna Grace Hethcox, Savannah Coyne, Luca Jarosz, Chloe Vuong, Sasha Menjivar, Matt Hune, Judith Miller, Stephanie Wittles Wachs, with special guest W. Kamau Bell and Rob Huebel. For fun facts about our cast plus resources on harassment and bullying.