Chapter 8: God’s Bar Mitzvah ?????

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When Little God’s bar mitzvah turns from magic to mayhem, Noa must decide whether to speak up and destroy his life — or keep quiet and destroy hers.

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Speaker 8  05:14

Today is the day, the day I become a man. But if I’m being honest, I feel like I’m already a man. I was forced to become one about six weeks ago, after my life got turned upside down. After my mom, well, I think you all know what I’m talking about. Noa and Sarah, stay. I don’t want Lily to miss this. My sister should be here. It’s my Bar Mitzvah.

Speaker 9  05:48

I’ll bring her back Micah make your speech.

Speaker 8  05:52

My speech? That’s hilarious. I didn’t write this thing. Is this what being a man is? Reading my fake speech to my fake friends? After faking my way through my Torah portion. No way. I’m not reading this. Here, catch.

Speaker 7  06:11

Got it? Am I Jewish now?

Speaker 8  06:16

Okay, here’s what I really want to say. Don’t worry, Rabbi, it has to do with my Torah portion. Maybe I didn’t get all the chanting right. But I know what the story is about. So my Torah Portion today was about two brothers. Twins. Actually. You may have heard of them. Jacob And Esau. Jacob was born second. And Esau was very hairy. He was hairy and stupid. Listen how stupid this guy was. He sold Jacob his birthright for a bowl of stew, a bowl of stew. That is a stupid decision. A stupid, impulsive decision. His brother Jacob though, he played things slow. He waited and waited for his father’s special blessing. Except that blessing was supposed to go to the older twin, Esau. One day, Jacob saw his chance. He put fur all over his hands and neck. Don’t ask me how they didn’t have crazy glue, or even tape back then. Maybe they boiled a donkey. So Jacob put all this fur on. And he went to his father and he pretended to be Esau. And his blind old dad bought it. He thought Jacob was hairy Esau and he gave him the blessing. Jacob one he saw was the loser. Boo Esau right? Boo. Well guess what? I used to be an Esau, minus the hairiness. I acted on impulse. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. Mainly girls. I thought I could win them over if I just tried hard enough. But I learned there is such a thing as trying too hard. And now they hate my guts. And none of them are even here. Except for one.

Speaker 2  08:24

Please, please, please Don’t point at me.

Speaker 8  08:27

I won’t point her out. Because she’s extremely shy.  I announced my love for her the first day of school, which was a foolish thing to do. I should have been more patient like Jacob. Because once I did step back and wait, it worked out.

Speaker 2  08:48

For you maybe.

Speaker 8  08:50

So I guess I am a man. Because I know I can just do whatever I want. Whenever I want. Being an Esau, acting on impulse. That is how a child behaves. Not a grown up. But some grown-ups. Some grown-ups can’t control their impulses, and maybe they should go back to Hebrew school because in my opinion, they have not earned the title of man. Sorry, my point is, I don’t know what my point is. Speech over. Mazel Tov to me, I deserve a freakin party. So let’s party.

Speaker 3  09:38

All right let me see two circles out there is it two circles going people. Okay, now somebody be here and get that inside circle going the other way. And check it out.

Speaker 2  10:27

I’m good. Why is God on stilts? Hey Livi.

Speaker 5  10:36

Hey, but seriously, why?

Speaker 2  10:39

You don’t talk to me for two months? And the first thing you say is why is God on stilts? Why don’t you ask your new best friend? Or she too popular for you now?

Speaker 5  10:50

What are you even talking about?

Speaker 2  10:51

Sure. I pretend you haven’t noticed, O, is the new queen bee.

Speaker 5  10:55

Don’t change the subject. We were talking about your boyfriend.

Speaker 2  10:59

My boyfriend?

Speaker 5  11:01

What? Is he not your boyfriend?

Speaker 2  11:04

I guess being on stilts in the middle of a horror circle makes him happy.

Speaker 5  11:16

Why are you wearing a wedding dress?

Speaker 2  11:18

It’s not a wedding dress. It’s so much shorter than a wedding dress?

Speaker 5  11:28

Where’d you get it?

Speaker 2  11:29

I know what you’re doing Livi.

Speaker 5  11:32

What do you mean?

Speaker 2  11:34

You’re obviously trying to dig up dirt on me so you can run it back to O, it must be hard. Right? Your Best Friends suddenly being obsessed with newer, shinier friends. Well, go ahead. Keep asking these stupid questions. Go feed her all my answers. But it’s not gonna work. You know that right? She’s just gonna ditch you like you ditched me.

Speaker 5  11:59

No, no, no, no. You don’t know anything. It’s not the same.

Speaker 2  12:02

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

Speaker 5  12:04

You know, I actually felt bad for you when I heard you were dating God. But you two deserve each other.

Speaker 2  12:13

Fuck off, Livi.

Speaker 5  12:14

Since when do you swear?

Speaker 2  12:17

Okay, sure. Yeah, run away.

Speaker 3  12:21

Alright, folks, we’re gonna take a little break here and take it down a notch. We’re gonna sit down and have some food. But I don’t want you to get to stuff because the coaches here and everybody knows what that means. I’m talking about a dance party. And I want 100% participation. I don’t want to hear any of this little coach. I can’t dance business. Okay. That’s why we got these motivational dances right here. Okay, we paid a lot of money to these girls come in and get that dance floor started. So ladies, go on out there and give us a little taste. Okay, show them what you’re working with.

Speaker 8  13:03

She’s a pretty good DJ, don’t you think?

Speaker 2  13:06

Yeah. I didn’t know he did that. So you’re gonna stay on your stilts?

Speaker 8  13:12

Yeah, I’m omnipotent.

Speaker 2  13:16

You seem like you’re having fun.

Speaker 8  13:18

Well, I’d be better if that ice sculpture spelled my name right.

Speaker 2  13:26

It’s right, isn’t it?

Speaker 8  13:28

It should be G, O, D. Just temporary loss of balance. Hey, have you had any oysters? Yeah, they look like snot but they’re supposedly an aphrodisiac which might help for our big moment.

Speaker 2  13:49

Oh, right. I actually ate a lot of onion dip. You might not want to kiss me.

Speaker 8  13:57

You can eat chopped liver and I still want to kiss you. Okay, I’ve got to go make the rounds. See you at Showtime. Remember, you twirl fall into my arms. And we kiss. Twirl, fall, kiss, it’s gonna be the most romantic first kiss in the history of humanity.

Speaker 2  14:18

Can’t wait.

Speaker 6  14:24

Help. I’ve got so much phlegm in my throat. JK. I’m speaking Hebrew. Temple really isn’t the same when you’re not snorting pepper.

Speaker 4  14:54

Mind if I sit with you?

Speaker 2  14:56

No one’s stopping you.

Speaker 4  15:00

What are you doing?

Speaker 2  15:01

Sitting on a bench. Looking at upon. What are you doing?

Speaker 6  15:05

I’m speaking British. Maybe that’s why you don’t understand. I mean, what are you thinking?

Speaker 2  15:13

I’m wondering if I’ll see a frog on one of those lily pads.

Speaker 6  15:22

Okay, I’ll be more specific. Why are you avoiding me? Why are you dating God?

Speaker 2  15:29

Seb, I really can’t do this right now.

Speaker 14  15:31

Yes. Are you guys back together?

Speaker 2  15:33

Abby, how many times do I have to tell you? We were never.

Speaker 14  15:40

He’s way better than Micah.

Speaker 2  15:42

Out Abby, don’t you need to go play drums?

Speaker 14  15:45

We’re on break.

Speaker 6  15:46

Hey, Abby. You got some stuff on your nose?

Speaker 14  15:49

What’s up?

Speaker 6  15:51

Not much. What’s up with you?

Speaker 15  15:53

Oh, good. Oh my god. I’ve been eating the best food shrimp the size of my head that talk about and what. And those roles. Hey, did you ever wonder what would happen if everything you ever ate stayed inside your body forever?

Speaker 4  16:11

Can’t say I have.

Speaker 15  16:12

Your belly would go on for miles.

Speaker 2  16:14

Enjoy it while you can. You’re not getting food like this at your Bar Mitzvah.

Speaker 15  16:18

That’s okay. I only want one thing when I grew up.

Speaker 4  16:21

What’s that?

Speaker 14  16:22

The Bourbon command.

Speaker 3  16:30

Report to the stage calling all drummer. Folks, we’re gonna get that dance floor started pretty soon. But first come into the stage. Mica has something special planned for us? Or maybe I should say magic Mica.

Speaker 15  16:48

You two work on it. Work on getting back together.

Speaker 2  16:52

Sorry about her.

Speaker 6  16:53

Noa, come on. Talk to me.

Speaker 2  16:56

I should go to if The Fantasticks are up then so am I.

Speaker 4  16:59

For what?

Speaker 2  17:01

My job?

Speaker 4  17:02

What job?

Speaker 2  17:04

Being a good girlfriend.

Speaker 3  18:38

Great tricks, Micah, really great tricks up here. Man, that last one. I didn’t see coming when you pulled up grandpa’s ear like that.

Speaker 8  19:36

I know. That’s the point.

Speaker 3  19:38

Why did chase your passion my man. For me? My passion is DJ and I think everybody knows that. And I finally gave myself permission just to go for it. You know life is too short. Am I right? That’s my name. The grand finale. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, people. We got one more trick coming at you. And folks for this one. We’re gonna need an assistant..

Speaker 8  20:00

But sorry ladies. I’m not taking volunteers. My assistant is the one, the only, the lovely. Noa Bloom. Come join me on stage Miss Bloom. My girlfriend, my girlfriend, everyone. Noa, are you ready for some magic? Speaking to the mic so people can hear. Always ready for magic this one? She’s so beautiful. Isn’t she? Too bad I’m gonna have to saw her in half.

Speaker 3  20:39

Okay, we start volleyball in gym class on Monday. And I gotta say, that’s a hard game to play with that legs.

Speaker 8  20:48

Don’t listen to them, my dear. You’re going to be just fine. Or will you? Let’s find out. Allow me to help you onto the table.

Speaker 2  20:55

No, I got it.

Speaker 8  20:58

A modern woman. That’s a neat chivalry so strong.

Speaker 3  21:01

You know what? She actually is super strong. Last weekend gym class. This girl right here benched more than her weight. I was like so shocked.

Speaker 8  21:12

Now, as you can see, Noa’s head is here and her feet are here. Her entire body is inside this box. And just to be extra sure she can’t escape the box. I shall lock it. Are you trapped? Take it down a notch. You’re making me look bad.

Speaker 2  21:40

This man is forcing me to be here.

Speaker 8  21:43

People actually think you don’t love me.

Speaker 2  21:48

Somebody save me. I don’t want to be here.

Speaker 8  21:54

Drumroll please. I will saw this boisterous woman in half. He’s the lockdown kid. He has to be.

Speaker 3  22:12

Wait. You’re not the lockdown kid?

Speaker 8  22:18

Irrelevant. All that matters is things are about to get gored. Make some noise if you want to see me Chuck this lady up. Those of you in front. I advise stepping back unless you want to get splattered with blood, sorry to have to hurt you, honey. What is wrong with you?

Speaker 2  22:53

No, you don’t get it. I want out.

Speaker 6  22:58

Well, this is terrifying.

Speaker 8  22:59

What can I say folks? She’s an emotional one.

Speaker 3  23:03

Welcome to dating Bar Mitzvah boy.

Speaker 8  23:05

And there you have it. A lady sawed in half. Lady sawed in half. Flamtastic, that’s your cue. Okay, ladies and gentlemen. I was going to slice her with blades and pull her apart. But whatever. I guess I’ll just let her out.

Speaker 3  23:33

Okay, you cut out fast?

Speaker 8  23:36

Noa, show the people you’re okay. Do a twirl.

Speaker 2  23:46

I’m not doing the twirl. I’m not doing the kiss either.

Speaker 8  23:49

You just spoiled the end.

Speaker 2  23:51

No, I didn’t. Because I’m not doing it.

Speaker 8  23:54

Why not?

Speaker 2  23:55

Why won’t I kiss you? Because I don’t love you. I’ve only been your girlfriend. Because you’ve been through the worst thing in the world. No one here even knows how bad.

Speaker 8  24:06

Stop, Noa.

Speaker 2  24:07

See. I can’t say what your dad. I can’t say it without ruining your life completely. So I guess I can’t break up with you. Sorry for the disruption. Everyone here. Here’s your twirl. And then next we’ll be doing the kiss.

Speaker 7  24:26

He cut her. He really caught her, her dress, it’s all bloody.

Speaker 2  24:31

He didn’t cut me. It’s a fake chainsaw a toy. Oh, no. Wait. He’s doing it. He’s grabbing me, kissing me. Except this isn’t, it’s not God. Seb?

Speaker 4  24:51

Sorry. I just had to.

Speaker 2  24:53

What is happening?

Speaker 8  24:54

Yeah, what is happening?

Speaker 9  25:00

Oh, honey, do you need a pad?

Speaker 2  25:13

Seb, what is going on?

Speaker 6  25:16

God was chasing us was one of his stilts. Hang on, let me look. Okay. Some of the bigger guys are with him trying to calm him down. Oh, here. Take these napkins. Yeah, I grabbed him on my way out. Oh people use these. Sorry. It was the best I could do.

Speaker 2  25:39

What am I supposed to do with them?

Speaker 6  25:40

I don’t know, stuff them in your underwear?

Speaker 2  25:42

Oh gross, you’re bleeding. No, I’m not.

Speaker 6  25:47

You are though. You know, like, last time I was at your house.

Speaker 2  25:54

No, it’s only been two weeks. I

Speaker 6  25:57

I know. But didn’t Mrs. Winterbottom said that this can happen.

Speaker 2  26:06

Oh my god. What’s he doing now? I can’t look.

Speaker 6  26:10

Don’t, it’s not pretty. Okay, so he’s smashing stuff.

Speaker 2  26:19

Why did you.

Speaker 6  26:20

Well, oh, vases. Plates. Stuff is fine. Everywhere. Oh, the guys are trying to stop him. But he’s swinging that stilts around. Oh, whoa. I kiss you because I don’t know. I had to do something. Now he’s going after the ice sculpture.

Speaker 2  26:47

But why a kiss?

Speaker 6  26:49

You said you needed someone to save you. So I saved you. It felt like I was the only one who could.

Speaker 2  27:00

But was it because..

Speaker 6  27:01

Oh my god. He just threw the stilt on someone. Just miss the guy’s head. It’s his dad.

Speaker 2  27:14

His dad?

Speaker 8  27:17

You don’t get to tell me how to behave. You don’t get to tell me anything.

Speaker 2  27:21

What’s his dad saying?

Speaker 6  27:23

I don’t know. I don’t know. He’s like, you know the thing where like, people want to yell but they’re talking like really quiet and slow. God it’s like scary than yelling.

Speaker 2  27:36

Now what?

Speaker 6  27:37

He just grabbed Micah. Picked him up and he’s like, carry Oh my god. He’s carrying them off. They’re going down the hall. Why is he running so fast? They’re going down the hall. They’re gone. Guess that’s over.

Speaker 2  27:58

I have to save him.

Speaker 6  28:00

Hey, can we talk about that kiss?

Speaker 2  28:03

I’m the only one that can save him.

Speaker 6  28:40

Noa, the kiss? It was, sorry, it was a one-time thing.

Speaker 2  28:59

Yeah, no. I know.

Speaker 14  29:42

Will you please just come out and talk to me? You can’t stay in the bathroom forever.

Speaker 2  29:47

Oh, you have no idea what I’m capable of.

Speaker 14  29:50

I think I do and that’s what scares me.

Speaker 2  29:53

Seriously, I just want to be alone.

Speaker 14  29:55

Sure, but first I need to say a few things. I’ll take that as a yes.

Speaker 15  30:02

How come no one told me about periods? I thought she was dying. Noa, I thought you were dying.

Speaker 2  30:08

Well, that’s kind of what it feels like.

Speaker 15  30:10

I’ll invent a way stop it. So I never get it.

Speaker 2  30:13

Good luck with that.

Speaker 14  30:14

Abby, could you give me and your sister some privacy?

Speaker 15  30:19

I’ll be spying from my room.

Speaker 14  30:24

Noa, you did a good thing.

Speaker 2  30:27

Which thing do you mean? I’ve done lots of things and none of them are good.

Speaker 14  30:31

Stop beating yourself up. You’ve been through enough. Talking about Micah’s dad. You did the right thing telling me, what a secret to carry around. Especially for kid.

Speaker 2  30:45

I’m not a kid.

Speaker 14  30:46

Yeah, no, you’re right. But it would be a lot for anyone. So we don’t know anything for sure about Mr. Nudelman. Not yet. But the police have them in custody.

Speaker 2  30:59

Great. Now Micah doesn’t have parents, and neither do his siblings. That’s because of me. I did that.

Speaker 14  31:07

You didn’t do that. Anyway, Micah is better off now. And he’s not going to bother you anymore. He’s going away. I think to live with his aunt. And she can find him whatever help he needs. You know, I still don’t totally get why you decided to date him. And you don’t have to explain it. But I want to know if I mean. Are you okay?

Speaker 2  31:33

Yes, I’m fine. Good talk. Good talk.

Speaker 14  31:37

Okay, great. I guess you don’t want to hear about your new phone then.

Speaker 2  31:42

Wait, what?

Speaker 14  31:43

Or I guess it’s actually an old phone. I’m going to give you mine after I upgrade. I just hate that you couldn’t call me today.

Speaker 2  31:52

But well, you said not till High School.

Speaker 14  31:55

Yeah. I mean, I think I thought this is gonna sound crazy. But like, you know, that thing you just said about not being a kid? I think I somehow thought that. If you didn’t have a phone, then you’d be a kid for longer. Like, it would prevent you from seeing things and doing things that would make you grow up too fast. And you know, when your mom left, I promised myself I’d be able to raise two girls on my own. Well, I never really thought about how one day that would mean raising women. Which reminds me, you need ladies stuff. What do you need?

Speaker 2  32:40

Dad, I don’t need stuff. Toilet paper works or party napkins in a pinch.

Speaker 14  32:45

Come on. I’ll just go to the store and I’ll figure it out. Just tell me what to get.

Speaker 2  32:49

I don’t know what to get.

Speaker 14  32:51

Then I’ll do what I did when we had to get you face wash and moisturizer. I’ll just walk the aisles will confirm mom with a teenage girl. It’s not creepy at all.

Speaker 15  33:01

Take me with you. I’ll save the day.

Speaker 14  33:07

I’ll be right back

Speaker 2  33:18

No, no, no, not now. Tell them I’m not home.

Speaker 4  33:27

Open up.

Speaker 2  33:28

It’s open.

Speaker 6  33:30

Huh? Your dad said you locked yourself in.

Speaker 2  33:33

He just didn’t think to try the knob.

Speaker 6  33:38

Well, here we are again. I brought you something.

Speaker 2  33:47

What is this?

Speaker 6  33:49

What’s it look like?

Speaker 2  33:51

Like one of those baskets people signed when my grandma died? With all the dried fruits and biscuits.

Speaker 6  34:05

No biscuits in here. See for yourself.

Speaker 2  34:10

Seb, did you like, did you raid the lady products aisle at the drugstore?

Speaker 6  34:16

More like raided Dani’s house. We put this together in her gift-wrapping room. An entire room literally just for wrapping presence. That house is off the hook. You’ve seen it right?

Speaker 2  34:31

But I never will again.

Speaker 6  34:33

You might. She texted me when she saw the bar mitzvah video. The headline is Dani loaded me up with period products.

Speaker 2  34:44

Why didn’t she come herself?

Speaker 6  34:45

She’s still kind of mad, I guess. But trust me she’s gonna thaw, she was hyped about how you went off at the party. She called it the ultimate power move.

Speaker 2  34:56

I guess that’s the ultimate compliment coming from Dani. It was nice of her to send over all this stuff, but I don’t even know how to use it. It’s not like you do.

Speaker 6  35:07

Wrong. Dani gave me detailed instructions. So very detailed. Okay, so she said you don’t just use one thing, right? Use a bunch of different things and they all have different purposes. So, like pads like that. There’s regular ones like this. And then ones like this and super long ones for sleeping in. See they have wings. No, no, no, really. They’re actually called wings. I guess they keep you from staining your underwear. Dani, says you’re gonna get stained sometimes, and it’s annoying but fine. She says pads are easy to use, but they also feel like diapers so, yay, there’s period underpants. You don’t need a pad with those.

Speaker 2  35:54

Oh, but then you have bloody underpants?

Speaker 6  35:57

I don’t know. I really don’t get it. Ask Dani she wants to marry them. Then we’ve got tampons. Some come in these little plastic tubes, like this guy here. And others are just a plain old cotton jabi with a string. Oh, a hug. We’re on hugging terms?

Speaker 2  36:17

Is that okay?

Speaker 6  36:19

I mean, I gave you an emergency smooch this morning. You’re the one that’s been chilly.

Speaker 2  36:27

I just I’ve been feeling so guilty. You know why.

Speaker 6  36:32

But can you say it, so I understand?

Speaker 2  36:37

I’ve been like God to you.

Speaker 6  36:40

What? How are you like God?

Speaker 2  36:43

The way he’s been with me. following me around and acting like he owns me when I never liked him. And he knew it. That’s how I’ve been with you.

Speaker 6  36:57

You crazy person. No, dude, you and God. You were never friends. You and me. We were, we are actual friends. And guess what? I like flirting with you. It’s fun. And for a second there. I wasn’t sure. I thought maybe I could be with a girl. You’re the first person who’s made me feel that way

Speaker 2  37:27

But kissing me made you realize you were all the way gay?

Speaker 6  37:31

Ah. Oh my god. Stop. Okay, just stop. I love you.

Speaker 2  37:36

I’m so confused.

Speaker 6  37:39

But it’s not like sexy love. It’s just friend love. I don’t know, that makes a ton smaller than it is. I just I can’t be your boyfriend, Noa. But listen. Okay, listen. I’m going to come out. And when I do, I’m going to need a friend. A best friend. And I want it to be you. I mean, if you want that.

Speaker 2  38:21

Yeah. Yeah, I do. Hey, want to do the best friend thing and take a selfie with my phone.

Speaker 6  38:29

You got a phone?

Speaker 2  38:32

Well, it’s still my dad’s but I bet he’ll let me use it.

Speaker 6  38:36

Let’s maybe not take a bathroom shot though. As much as I love, love hanging out in the bathroom with you. It’s not a good look.

Speaker 2  38:44

Shut up. And give me a minute. I’ve got to use one of these things first. I’ll draw a fruit. Biscuit.

Speaker 6  38:52

Ah, my […] recommend the dried fruit. Well, fine. Very well our biscuit. Would the lady like wings with that or without?

Speaker 2  39:05

Second thought […]. I’ll take the period on the pants and call it a day.

Speaker 10  39:21


Speaker 2  39:22

I think so?

Speaker 10  39:27

Push your mic back a little. You don’t need it so close. You’re loud enough.

Speaker 2  39:34

Like this?

Speaker 10  39:36

Yeah, perfect. Okay. 321.

Speaker 2  39:48

Greetings, fellow students, my peers. People I go to school with. Sorry, I’ll talk like a person. What I’m trying to say is Hi. Hello. How are you? I’m Noa.

Speaker 10  40:01

And I’m Dani.

Speaker 2  40:02

And we’re your new morning announcements team.

Speaker 10  40:05

We’re gonna do all the normal stuff in a minute. But first, we want to announce a new club. It’s called WAG. Short for weirdos are great, because everyone’s a weirdo. That’s right. I’m talking to you. You’re a weirdo. Whether you admit it or not.

Speaker 2  40:23

And if you are willing to admit it, then congrats. That’s how you get in the club. You just tell us something weird about yourself and you’re a member.

Speaker 10  40:31

It’ll be a safe space to show off your weird talents. Tell weird jokes, start weird social movements. We have an account set up and everything.

Speaker 2  40:39

Yep, just DMS your weird thing and Dani or I will invite you to our first meeting.

Speaker 10  40:44

Now, on to business. Plain View Middle, finally, finally has a gender-neutral bathroom. If your parents were fighting it, I suggest filling them in on why it was essential.

Speaker 2  40:44

No, wait. I mean, yes. About the bathroom. But I’m not done with the weirdo thing. I feel like we can’t talk about weirdos without talking about the shoes we’re filling. Like, in our new jobs as announcer people Mike and Jaden. Especially Micah, the weirdest of the weird, right? And that’s actually that’s what I want to say. I guess. Micah, you probably can’t hear me now. All the way across the country. But who knows, used to say you were omnipresent, or whatever. So if you’re listening, I want you to know. I want you to know that you’re unique and uniqueness is something that can help you grow or it can bury you. I hope that in your new school, it helps you grow. I hope it helps you build your new after, whatever that winds up being.

Speaker 10  41:57

Oh my god, you did it. You said what you were thinking.

Speaker 2  42:00

Oh my god. I did. Okay, so, everyone. I guess that’s all I have to say about that. And now back to business. The school ski trip is coming up. Make sure to get your permission slip sign if you want to go.

Speaker 10  42:15

Or if you want to make yourself useful. Stay home and volunteer at a food pantry.

Speaker 2  42:20

Mr. Maris has a new pet in her office, a therapy bunny. So if you’re ever feeling sad, you can go snuggle buddy instead of say eating lunch in the bathroom.

Speaker 10  42:30

This bunny needs a name. Oh, we should have a contest to name?

Speaker 2  42:35

Weirdest name win.

Speaker 8  42:45

HERE LIES ME is a Lemonada Media original in collaboration with the longest shortest time. Executive producers are Stephanie Wittels Wachs, Jessica Cordova Kramer and me, Hillary Frank. I also wrote and directed the show. Hannah Boomershine is our producer. Peter Clowney is our story editor. Ivan Kuraev is our audio engineer. Music by Casey Holford with drums by Sasha. Our artwork which changes every week is by Lindsay Stripling. Thank you to the High School for the Performing and Visual Arts in Houston, Texas where we found our team cast and to the spruced in and space on writer farm, where I developed the pilot for this project. Special thanks to Val Bodurtha Eartha, Xorje Olivares, Jonathan, and Michael Raphael. The voices you heard today are Ollie Grishaber, Grant Eason, Rafael Pina, Rebecca Lembcke, Anna Marie Tobin, Emma Ogier, Vineeth Nadella, Julian Cotom, Anna Grace Hethcox, Savannah Coyne, Luca Jarosz, Chloe Vuong, Sasha Menjivar, Matt Hune, Judith Miller, Stephanie Wittles Wachs, with special guest W. Kamau Bell and Rob Huebel. For fun facts about our cast plus resources on harassment and bullying.

Hillary Frank  45:29

Okay, then, this series would be nothing without its hubbub. Huge thanks to the folks at Lemonada Media who took time out of their workday to shell out a bunch of nonsense for us. They are Rory Leech, Matthew Simonsson, Stephanie Wittels Wachs, Kegan Zema, Ivan Kuraev, Claire Jones, Jackie Danziger, Kryssy Pease, Kasey Barrett and Alex McOwen. Friends our middle school journey does not end here. We’ve got that behind the scenes bonus episode coming your way in the new year. And if you enjoyed hear lies me please, please please shout it from the rooftops were brand new show and we need all the help we can get. So right now do this for me, text a friend and tell them to listen to the show. Rate us and Apple podcasts. Leave a review there and mention one thing about here lies me that resonated with you. Just one thing. How easy is that? Come on, you can do that. Tell people on social media that this show is for adults. Sure, teens too, but why should they have all the fun. And when you talk about us, we want to know about it. So make sure you tag and follow @LemonadaMedia across all social media platforms. And me on Instagram at @thisisHillaryFrank. Now on a serious note, I made the show because I believe that harassment begins in earnest in middle school, I wanted to tell a story about what harassment in middle school looks like and how layered and complicated it can be. It’s also super common every day there are kids in middle school who are being harassed and bullied, and often they’re not getting the support they need. So if you or someone you know is struggling with bullying, harassment, domestic violence or mental health, we’ve made a list of resources for you find them at I’m Hilary Frank, and I’m afraid of butterflies.

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