Dissecting Zack Addy with Eric Millegan
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We are so thrilled to be joined today by Eric Millegan — that’s right, the one and only Zackaroni, Zack Addy! Emily and Eric’s friendship has endured long after the cameras stopped rolling, and it’s time for them to catch up, reminisce and gossip. Eric recounts the story of the charmed trip to LA when he landed the role of Zack, and how it all coincided with his diagnosis and treatment for bipolar disorder. Emily and Eric share plenty of stories from set, and Eric explains how it all went down when he found out he wasn’t going to be a series regular. Plus, Carla discusses why she feels her (and her character’s) fate is so entwined with Eric’s. It’s an all Zack-cess interview with everyone’s favorite genius (who can’t drive)!
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Transcript
SPEAKERS
Eric Millegan, Carla Gallo, Emily Deschanel
Carla Gallo 01:00
Hi, I’m Carla Gallo.
Emily Deschanel 01:55
And I’m Emily Deschanel.
Carla Gallo 01:56
And this is Boneheads.
Emily Deschanel 02:02
Carla?
Carla Gallo 02:04
Yes?
Emily Deschanel 02:05
Can you believe that it’s a whole new year now?
Carla Gallo 02:08
I don’t like it because I am one of those people, like I could barely remember to write 24, I was not even close to getting used to it and now I gotta write 25.
Emily Deschanel 02:23
Not to speak for both of us, but for myself. As I get older, the years move quicker.
Carla Gallo 02:30
Are you kidding? Yeah.
Emily Deschanel 02:32
I guess because it’s almost 1/50 of the years I’ve been alive, not quite 50 but it’s coming in. […] When you’re a kid, it’s like, “Oh, it’s just 1/10 of my life as a year”. So of course, that feels like forever. But then if you’ve got 1/50 of your life, that’s quick.
Carla Gallo 02:57
This is a devastating conversation for me.
Emily Deschanel 02:59
[…] You want to bring it up?
Carla Gallo 03:02
Yeah.
Emily Deschanel 03:03
I think you can bring it up […].
Carla Gallo 03:08
Well, I did not ever tell you the, I want to say trials and tribulations of the Aristotle, I want to venture.
Emily Deschanel 03:20
Yeah, I knew some of it before but we’ve even talked about it since you went so, tell me.
Carla Gallo 03:26
No, there’s no trials 100%. I mean, I guess there were trials in that, I feel due to my frugality.
Emily Deschanel 03:39
Yes.
Carla Gallo 03:40
I make things a little bit harder for myself. So, we did not fly into Vancouver.
Emily Deschanel 03:47
Right? You were seeing the show in Vancouver.
Carla Gallo 03:49
Yeah.
Emily Deschanel 03:50
But, the last slide of Vancouver.
Carla Gallo 03:52
No, this was the last leg, the end of an era.
Emily Deschanel 03:58
The end of an era’s?
Carla Gallo 03:59
Yeah, the end of an era’s. So, we went to the friday show, and the tickets to Vancouver so expensive. I was like, “Okay,you know what? We’re gonna fly into Seattle and we are gonna rent a car”. I was gonna get excited to tell you but whenI went across the border, the guy was really scrutinizing me and really looking at me. I was like, “What did I do wrong?”Because I always feel like I’m doing something wrong […].
Emily Deschanel 04:28
Anytime I interact with any kind of like authority, I’m almost like, “What did I do wrong?”.
Carla Gallo 04:33
A hundred percent. He really gave me a look, he really stare. And then he was like, “What are you guys going to do?”And I was like, “Taylor Swift”. He said, “You look really familiar. Do you come through this border a lot?” And I was like,”No”. He was like, “What do you do for a living?” But again, it still felt like I was being interrogated. I was like, “Oh, I’m anactor” and he’s like, “Okay, I think that’s what it is” ‘What do I know you from?” And I was like, “Probably Bones”. And he was like, “Nope, I don’t watch that”. And I was like, “I’ll never know”. I watched him write my name down from my passport, he wrote it down. He was like, “I’m gonna look it up. I’m gonna figure it out”.
Emily Deschanel 05:20
Not for official purposes.
Carla Gallo 05:23
No.
Emily Deschanel 05:23
Just to see you are an actor.
Carla Gallo 05:26
Not a Bones fan.
Emily Deschanel 05:29
Well, should we get into what this episode is?
Carla Gallo 05:32
Yeah, equally exciting.
Emily Deschanel 05:37
Today, this is really exciting for me because we have one of my favorite people, Eric Millegan who played Zach Addie on Bones as our guest. Eric and I go way back we met when we started the pilot of Bones, and he’s just always been oneof my favorite people and I love getting to catch up with him. We recorded this just a little bit ago.
Carla Gallo 06:01
I thought he was so fun, funny and kind and easy to talk to. For people who don’t know, Eric lives in New York with his husband, Charles and his dog, Mrs. Malloy and it was a great interview especially because Eric is so open and willing to talk about living with bipolar disorder. We talk about that in the interview and I thought it was really impressive.
Emily Deschanel 06:28
Eric and I always had the best time on set. We had the best time catching up, reminiscing. And I hope people enjoy this chat we had, take a listen.
Emily Deschanel 06:47
Hi, Eric.
Eric Millegan 06:48
Great. So, I’ve actually been watching the show again. I’m only through episode five, most of the shows we’ve done, I’ve only seen the night they aired.
Emily Deschanel 07:00
Yeah.
Eric Millegan 07:02
It’s like watching home movies, isn’t it?
Emily Deschanel 07:04
Yes.
Eric Millegan 07:05
And you don’t remember doing it.
Emily Deschanel 07:08
Yeah, some things I remember but it’s almost like an outer body experience where I’m like, “I see myself”, it’s like myself so long ago and it’s like, “I know that’s me”. Intellectually, I understand that’s me, but it’s hard to believe it’s me. Do you feel that way?
Eric Millegan 07:28
Yeah. To me though, it’s just the whole movie thing. We did all that and now it’s looking back at all our work.
Emily Deschanel 07:32
Yeah, same way.
Eric Millegan 07:33
I just did like 60 episodes. I can’t imagine what it’s like to look back at like 260 episodes.
Carla Gallo 07:47
We’re gonna find out.
Eric Millegan 07:48
By the way, is it crazy? People tell me, I watched the whole series five times. It’s like, “What? That’s impossible?”. Is it possible to watch 250 episodes multiple times? It is five times and it’s like that’s 1000 hours.
Carla Gallo 08:04
People have a lot of time.
Eric Millegan 08:06
Hey Carla, for a second.
Carla Gallo 08:07
Hello.
Eric Millegan 08:08
Get him to the Greek.
Carla Gallo 08:12
You’re so sweet.
Eric Millegan 08:13
That’s good.
Carla Gallo 08:13
That was a very fun one for me.
Eric Millegan 08:16
That looked like it was fun for you.
Carla Gallo 08:18
So fun with Jonah Hill, who we just found out yesterday. You beat Jonah Hill out for your role on Bone.
Emily Deschanel 08:26
Do you know that he auditioned for Zach?
Eric Millegan 08:28
I did not.
Emily Deschanel 08:29
And Hart Hanson was like, “No”.
Carla Gallo 08:30
Yeah.
Emily Deschanel 08:31
Greg Yaitanes is like, “He’s so good”.
Carla Gallo 08:33
“He’s so funny”.
Emily Deschanel 08:33
And they were like, “No”. And then after you came in, Hart was like, “That’s our guy. That’s him. That’s the character’.
Carla Gallo 08:41
Yeah.
Carla Gallo 08:41
So little did you know, it’s funny to find out who you went up against.
Emily Deschanel 08:46
Eric is genius for people listening from the big app. So we don’t get to be in the room with him, but we get to see his beautiful face. Is that the same apartment that I visited so long ago? Are you still in the same apartment that is so cool?
Eric Millegan 09:01
Yes, we’re here. I remember that now.
Emily Deschanel 09:03
And it folds out that they have all this amazing, really cool use of space in that apartment.
Eric Millegan 09:09
Yes, it’s like all cabinets. You can kind of see behind me here’s a cabinet. It’s like that all the way around, and then you open one of the cabinets and the bed comes down. You can open a cabinet over here, and it’s like a little office. Then we have this floating kind of island that we can eat at and move around the room. It’s awesome, I love it.
Emily Deschanel 09:34
It’s so brilliant. I mean, in New York City, you have to make every inch of your space work and you did such a beautiful job of that. So Eric, we’re doing this podcast. We watching the podcast, we’re we watching podcasts. Were watching episodes of Bones and then we’re also talking to people involved in the show. Will you tell us how you got cast? We know a little bit from talking to Greg about how you beat out Jonah Hill for the job and many other people. Got this part of Zach Addie. You came out from New York, right? And this is your first pilot season. For people listening, pilot season is from January, February to like, March.
Carla Gallo 10:19
Yeah. January through April, really. You cannot hang in there for that last one cause the announcements are in May. So,you’re just trying to shoot before May.
Emily Deschanel 10:29
Yeah.
Eric Millegan 10:30
Well, let me be clear first. I did struggle in New York. First, I did a Broadway show. I did do Harold Ahmad, but I had times where it was a year and I did nothing, or a year and a half night and I had auditioned for a lot of TV stuff there. So, it’s not like I was just starting out, I had auditioned for a lot of TV in New York, and I done some TV in New York. But, the TV shows in New York are like half a page back then, actually. And the TV shows in L.A are like 16 pages.l
Emily Deschanel 11:00
Yeah.
Eric Millegan 11:00
And I was like, “I’ve been doing good auditions, but I think I’d have a better chance, because in L. A, there’s more possibility”. So, I decided I was going to go out to L.A, but then I got Harold and Maude, this musical that I played Haroldin. Then I decided, “Well, I’m going after”. So, I couldn’t because I was doing a workshop of another musical. I couldn’t go out to L.A, I was gonna go out before Harold and Maude then I couldn’t go, because I was, like, “After this date, I’m just focusing on learning the role. I’m just focusing on Harold and Maude”. But, a friend of mine convinced me, “You have to go”. And I probably never would have got gone to L.A if I hadn’t gone that time, because I went out there and I got an agent, I got a manager before I did Harold and Maude. Then I told them, I said, “Whenever Haroldand Maude ends, if this run is the last run, or if it goes to Broadway, whenever it ends, I’m going to come out to L.A”. So, I did Harold andr Maude and then Harold Maude ended the first weekend of February. So it was on a Sunday we closedand I had a friend I could stay with, but otherwise I had no plan, and I hadn’t decided, like, “I’m moving to L.A. I decided I was just going to L.A. So, I closed on a Sunday, I moved on a Monday and I auditioned for Bones on Thursday.
Emily Deschanel 12:26
No!
Eric Millegan 12:27
Yeah. So I got there, I met with my manager and my agent, I auditioned for the […] CBS and they laughed. So I thought, “Well, if nothing goes well, at least I made a casting director laugh” Then, the show called threshold. Yeah, I did for the show called threshold. And they were like, loved me right away and set me up to meet with the producers of that. And then I found out I got a studio test and then I did some for Bones.
Emily Deschanel 13:01
And you had to sit for bones, what?
Eric Millegan 13:03
Then I auditioned for Bones. Then they found out I had a studio test for them, too. I was like […].
Emily Deschanel 13:10
Manager must have been like, “Wow”.
Carla Gallo 13:12
Yeah […].
Eric Millegan 13:12
He call me and said, “You are now our hottest client”, which was fun.
Emily Deschanel 13:17
That’s so amazing. You were on such a streak.
Eric Millegan 13:20
Yeah, it was totally crazy. I called actually friends in New York and I was like, “You got to get out here. This is so easy”.
Emily Deschanel 13:27
That’s what I was referring to. You came out to L.A, for your first actual pilot season in L.A. I remember you telling me that story where like, “It’s so easy, you just go out and you get a pilot”.
Carla Gallo 13:40
I had a similar, not do pilots but I had a similar thing where I moved out and got undeclared like a month. I had done two pilot seasons here. I’m from New York and I’d done two pilot seasons, those were dismal failure. But, when I decidedto move here, I moved in in August, auditioned for undeclared in September, and got it by October, I had Eric the exact same like, “It’s so easy out here. You just come out of here and you get a show that’s already picked up for six episodes”.
Emily Deschanel 14:07
It’s not usually how it works.
Carla Gallo 14:08
No.
Eric Millegan 14:10
Then I got a test for kitchen confidential, too.
Carla Gallo 14:13
John Francis Daley.
Emily Deschanel 14:17
And Bradley Cooper.
Eric Millegan 14:18
Then I didn’t get threshold, so I didn’t make network for threshold. I was supposed to go in, I went in for the studio for Bones. I thought it went terrible and I didn’t hear anything right away, but my manager called them and said, “What’s going on?” And they said, “Well, I’d be surprised if he didn’t get a network test”. They wouldn’t say that I got it, but they said they’d be surprised if I didn’t. So I was like, “Well, that’s good”. So, I found out I was getting a test for Kitchen Confidential. And then I was kind of in a position where, if I went to the Kitchen Confidential audition first and I got it, I’d already be signed. So, it looked like I was going to have to choose. And my manager really wanted me to Kitchen Confidential, because he said it was the sexy show. But then Hart moved my test up so that I would be auditioning for Bones the same day as Kitchen Confidential. So, I did my studio test for Kitchen Confidential then later that day, I did the network test for Bones, and they said, “You know, we’ll decide now and if we don’t want you, you can go to kitchen”. They call me that night and I got bones, and that was it.
Emily Deschanel 15:30
Wow […].
Eric Millegan 15:33
I told my manager. I said, “I want whatever show is going to run the longest, but if they’re both running, if they’re both hits, I want to be in Reddit.
Emily Deschanel 15:44
Yeah. Well, you chose the one that ran the longest.
Eric Millegan 15:48
Yeah.
Emily Deschanel 15:49
It was probably sexier, the Bradley Cooper one, but it only lasted a season or less than a season.
Eric Millegan 15:55
13 episodes.
Carla Gallo 15:56
You had fire though. I mean, to have three tests […]. My two pilot seasons that I came out from New York, I didn’t test for one thing and at the end of my second one, my agent said, at the very end of the time I’d been out here, she said, “You know, you’ve had 11 auditions and you didn’t get anything. So, we’re probably gonna have to talk”. I had 11 auditions and they felt that because nothing had hit. I will say it played later When I left them. I was like, “You know, I don’t think I can feel too guilty because they were just about to drop me after having 11 auditions and not getting anything”.
Emily Deschanel 16:40
No, you don’t like it takes 100 audition.
Carla Gallo 16:42
I know 100 milliom.
Emily Deschanel 16:44
Yeah. I mean a minimum 100.
Carla Gallo 16:47
Yeah.
Eric Millegan 16:48
I auditioned for other shows. Actually, there was a sick club called the war at home and I auditioned for like one of the kids, like 16 year old.
Emily Deschanel 16:58
And you were what? 30 or something at the time?
Eric Millegan 17:02
I was 30.
Emily Deschanel 17:02
Yeah.
Eric Millegan 17:04
Then there was a pilot, but I went into that and that was terrible. That audition went really bad and I called my manager and my agent and apologize like ‘I’m so so sorry, I messed up the auditioned”. And that was kind of looking back the beginning of the whole bipolar disorder. When I looked back on it, I was getting triggered right there and going through the whole bipolar where you get paranoid and you apologize over and over. You see things as worse than they are.
Emily Deschanel 17:41
Did you know that it was that the first?
Eric Millegan 17:43
Did I know yet? No.
Emily Deschanel 17:45
Okay.
Eric Millegan 17:47
Basically what happened was, I think it was because I got the show and all the excitement of what I just described about pilots that kind of triggered, because I went really high, I got really excited because it was so amazing. Then I dove and then I got high, then depressed. The way we found out was we had finished the pilot, and I woke up one morning depressed, I didn’t know it was called depression but I woke up like everything felt heavy and awful. I just felt like awful. Then all of a sudden I was like, “You know, I live near Disneyland. I’m going to Disneyland instead”. So, all of asudden I got really happy and I was in the shower, I was singing and I was all excited, and I went to Disneyland. I got to Disneylan and I was hungry, so I got a piece of pizza. I sat down, looked at my food, and then started crying, like uncontrollably crying.
Emily Deschanel 18:49
At the happiest place on earth.
Eric Millegan 18:51
Yeah. I actually wrote a screenplay about the whole thing, and I called it the happiest place. But I called Charles, my husband, and I was crying and crying. I was like, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Something’s wrong with me”. Because there wasn’t any reason I was crying.
Emily Deschanel 19:09
Yeah. Well, it’s good you recognize that. I feel a lot of times people wouldn’t recognize like something’s going on. They just be like, “Well, I’m really sad or something”. You know, take them longer.
Eric Millegan 19:21
Are you trying to blame it on whatever else is going on?
Emily Deschanel 19:23
Yes.
Eric Millegan 19:24
You’re sad that whatever else is going on in your life is to blame.
Carla Gallo 19:28
But had there been any signs prior or had you experienced anything kind of similar to that? Or was this really just like, “What in the world, I’ve not felt this before”.
Eric Millegan 19:43
No. I think living in this little apartment with Charles and with his love and everything I had, even though I was bipolar, I kind of survived it because we were in this little love nest kind of side.
Emily Deschanel 19:58
Yes, you had that stability.
Eric Millegan 20:00
Yeah, nothing ever got too bad, but to answer your question, when I looked back, I was like, “Oh, that’s why that happened”, because I did a play two years earlier and the whole apologizing thing.
Emily Deschanel 20:15
Right?
Eric Millegan 20:17
I had a friend in the audience, he runs a theater company and I didn’t think the show was going well. I called him atintermission to apologize for him for my performance. So in retrospect, it was like, “Okay, that was crazy”. I did the samething in Harold and Maude, I was doing a performance and I didn’t like how it went, and I started apologizing to my friends about it. The feelings of doing bad, were proportionally down because the bipolar disorder feeling bad ended upfeeling like worse.
Emily Deschanel 20:54
It makes the highs so high and the lows so low.
Eric Millegan 20:59
Wrote myself letters. When I was feeling good, I wrote myself a letter to when I was gonna feel bad.
Emily Deschanel 21:07
Oh, that’s amazing. Did your therapy or psychiatrist?
Eric Millegan 21:12
No, I just did it myself.
Emily Deschanel 21:14
That’s really smart, that’s great. Did that help you? Did you look at them when you were feeling down?
Eric Millegan 21:19
A little bit. The thing about it for me was when I was one way, I thought the other side never happened.
Emily Deschanel 21:27
Yeah.
Eric Millegan 21:28
I thought wherever I was, was how I really felt. So when I was depressed, I felt like I’d always been depressed. And people would be like, “Yeah, but you were happy a couple hours ago”, and I’d be like, “Well, that wasn’t real”.
Carla Gallo 21:40
Literally, a couple hours ago.
Emily Deschanel 21:42
Yeah.
Eric Millegan 21:43
Sometimes I’d be really happy. And I remember telling Hart, the creator Bones. I remember telling him, like “Isn’t life great? This is so much fun”. And he was like, “Hold that thought”. Because I was like, “I feel great” And he was thinking, like, “You didn’t tell three o’clock this afternoon”.
Emily Deschanel 22:03
Yeah, right. I mean, we could see from the outside.
Eric Millegan 22:07
I think this is how I really feel.
Emily Deschanel 22:13
We’ll be right back with more of our conversation with Eric.
Emily Deschanel 22:28
This show is sponsored by better help. We always talk about what great writers we had on Bones but really, all of us arestorytellers in our own way which got me thinking like, “What do I want my 2025 story to be?”. I guess for me, that’s ahealthy life for me and my family.
Carla Gallo 22:47
Yeah, I think that’s a cool way to think about it rather than a resolution that’s gonna fade by February, we can make small steps towards a better life. We all have a chance to edit our script, change our story, and make a few revisions.
Emily Deschanel 23:00
Right. Think of therapy as your editorial partner, helping you write new chapters and create the meaningful story you deserve to live. I’ve used therapy to do this in my own life, especially at big turning points like a new year. It can help meset intentions and boundaries and strengthen my connections.
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Carla Gallo 25:23
So you get a diagnosis, you’ve shot the pilot. Obviously, these feelings are happening in Disney. Then before the pickup of the show, you get the diagnosis and now you’re being treated. When the show is picked up, I’m assuming you start shooting probably like early end of August or early September something.
Emily Deschanel 25:44
Probably July.
Carla Gallo 25:46
Was that right? An hour long […].
Eric Millegan 25:50
I was diagnosed the beginning of May, right before the upworks. And we started shooting in July, which that was another thing that was hard. I stayed in L.A, so we had to wait like two and a half months in L.A, doing nothing. I still auditioned for some movie stuff. For the most part, we were sitting around knowing we had a job, but not doing anything. So, that’s when things were getting worse. […]I was like, “Can you get me better by July when we start shooting the show?” And she was like, “Yes”, which was a total not true. But I remember telling her and her was like, “Glory be […] to be praised”. That’s such great news. But, I didn’t really get completely better for like, two years and you know that. The medication had to be upped gradually and I was like, “I’m taking the medication. I still feel bad”. And they’re like, “Well, you’re kind of chasing it, as we’re giving you more medication, you’re getting worse and we’re trying to catch up”. You know what I mean? Like, “You’d be even worse without the medication”, plus initially taking so little, but I was convinced for a while, like the medication is why I feel bad and people remind me, but they’re like, “You weren’t on medication when you went to Disneyland and that thing happened”. Disneyland was always kind of my cue point where I’d always go back to that and say, “You weren’t on medication and that happened to you”.
Carla Gallo 27:19
So, was Bones […]. I mean, it’s working in general. It’s funny because just if you’re not battling bipolar disorder, it can be very up and down and very hard to manage. You know, I’m someone who comes in and out of stuff often and so then I’m really busy and all of a sudden, I’m overworked and I can’t barely handle anything else in my life. Then a minute later, I’m not working at all, I would just sleep all day. So, how was it once the show’s picked up and you’re sort of trying to manage this? Is work a happy place? Is it a trigger place for you? What was Bones for you in that first season?
Eric Millegan 28:01
Well, what happened would be, I would basically cry in my trailer and then come back out and wipe my eyes and do the scenes. I think the reason I was able to do it is because it was my big break. It was something I’d worked for all my professional life. I was like, “I’m not gonna ruin this. I’m not gonna let this go badly”. […] Hart would call me mighty, he would say “You’re mighty”. So, to answer your question, if I didn’t have the show, I probably would have checked into a mental hospital. I so badly wanted the show to go well for me that I just somehow dealt with that and that’s interesting,re-watching the show because I’ve been re-watching it and know that I was crying in my trailer, or going through all these horrible things. It’s so weird to look really closely and see if I can tell.
Carla Gallo 28:58
Yeah, that’s another kind of home movie, right? […] I’m sure for you, there’s probably even just those memories of like, “This was a hard day”. I’m sure for you, sometimes you might see a scene and be like, “I remember being wrecked right before”, like, “I think it’s interesting to watch that back especially you knowing what you were going through, the challenges psychologically. And then you really are going back and looking at yourself during that time. I mean, that’s interesting.
Eric Millegan 29:25
Well, Emily was so helpful. I remember once so I got in trouble because I was crying and all upset after we had wrappedfor the day. And then I went to your trailer, or you came to my traile and you would comfort me. Then I got in trouble because they were like, “Emily needs to go to bed”. I got in trouble later, not that night. They were like, “Emily needs to go to sleep, she needs to get rest”.
Emily Deschanel 29:52
So, what about you needing comfort? I don’t know.
Eric Millegan 29:56
They were like, “She needs to rest, you can’t bother her. You be like, “What?”.
Emily Deschanel 30:00
We need to keep this commodity, this train running.
Carla Gallo 30:03
The monkey […].
Emily Deschanel 30:10
It was heartbreaking though, Eric to know what you were going through. It was so hard. As we’ve discussed, I was like, dysregulated at times, it is so stressful and I even threw something and walked out. When my birthday happened, they surprised me. It is stressful and insane to do a TV show in the first season or two. It’s so hard already and then to be just diagnosed with bipolar disorder and trying to figure out the medication and everything, it was just heartbreaking to see you going through that and so upset.
Carla Gallo 30:45
So, you could see? Like, it was apparent to you?
Emily Deschanel 30:47
Well, we were closed. When Eric and I met, we became fast friends and so Eric is one of my favorite, most unique people I’ve ever met in my life. I’ve just always appreciated. Do you remember, I think it was the first day on the pilot. We were at the cemetery, at the VA cemetery and Westwood and we were standing next to each other. I remember youtelling some story about Charles or you and your […] in York or something. I don’t remember what the story was and it was so funny, we were just having the best time. I don’t know if that was the first day, but that was the first day I remember talking to you and getting along.
Eric Millegan 31:28
You would defend me a lot. Remember the boy in the tree and we were standing there and he dropped his pants down or whatever?
Emily Deschanel 31:43
I couldn’t remember why we were laughing so hard.
Eric Millegan 31:46
We’re laughing and laughing. And then they were like, “Well, we have to move on”. And we’re like, “What? It’s gonna take too much time to put it back up”. And we were like, “Why didn’t you tell us that? Like, “If you tell us that” […].
Emily Deschanel 31:58
Yeah, you need to tell us that.
Eric Millegan 32:02
Eventhough we always be focused, if you told us it was our one chance, we would have made it work. That was weird,when I’m doing a play, the person I’m working the director made the decision, and the director is working with me because they wanted to. On the TV show you’re working on directors that didn’t cast you.
Emily Deschanel 32:22
Yes.]
Eric Millegan 32:22
They maybe don’t ike you, but they maybe don’t think you know you’re who they would have cast. But, the director was getting all mad at me and you stormed up to him. You we’re like, “You can’t treat Eric like this”.
Emily Deschanel 32:37
I get mama Bear, Ish.
Eric Millegan 32:40
Yes.
Emily Deschanel 32:41
Wait, do you remember I just said mama Bear, but I know we’re around the same, you’re slightly older? But, everyonealways thought you were younger and thought I was older than I was.
Eric Millegan 32:54
I was supposed to be the baby but I was older than you, TJ and Michaela.
Emily Deschanel 32:58
I know.
Eric Millegan 32:59
Jonathan Adams and David were older me so I’m supposed to be the baby, and I was older than all of you.
Emily Deschanel 33:05
But you see, you have such a baby face. You look so young and I always was the person that people were trying to, from when I was 23, people were trying to cast me as 35 for whatever reason.
Eric Millegan 33:18
I remember watching the show and thinking like, “Oh my god, I look like I’m 17”.
Emily Deschanel 33:23
Yeah, you look like a baby. I watch it, I feel like I look like a baby too, but you look even more like a baby.
Eric Millegan 33:31
We’re all babies, it’s so funny. At one point, there’s a scene in boy in the bush where you talk about working identifying bodies at Waco.
Emily Deschanel 33:40
I know.
Eric Millegan 33:42
Well, what is that? […].
Emily Deschanel 33:47
I told them when they said that, I was like, “Yeah, like 13 or something like that when Waco happened”. We had a little discussion about whether my character was older than me or my age. And they’re like, “No, she’s just your age”. And I was like, “Okay”. And I was 28 when we started, then they would have me at Waco identifying bodies at 12 years old. I told them. They’re like, “No, it’s okay” […].
Carla Gallo 34:15
Forensic anthropology, you’re a 12 year old at the Waco scene.
Eric Millegan 34:21
Before that scene, we have to talk about that scene because it was a very serious scene. And you’re trying to tell me how to deal with death and death of a little kid. So it’s very seen, you have this very serious speech. But, they wanted me because of where the camera was. They wanted me during the scene to lean forward, then back, then lean rightthen back because of where the camera was and it was so ridiculous, because you’re trying to be serious, and I’m like, “Forward”.
Emily Deschanel 35:03
I remember that so much.
Eric Millegan 35:04
I remember doing the episode you found out that I’d worked for gourmet gone. There’s a scene where you come to my bed, you remember you put your head on my head?
Emily Deschanel 35:13
Yes, that was a very specific thing that we had to do, too.
Eric Millegan 35:17
And then I had to say, “I’m sorry”, but there was a tear streaming down my face and they cut the “I’m sorry” in the editing because they were like, “Your tear is I’m sorry”. Like, “You can’t cry and say I’m sorry”. He’s like, “It’s overkill”. So, they cut the I’m sorry.
Emily Deschanel 35:39
I think it actually coming back to also experiencing bipolar disorder and that being a thing where you always want to apologize.
Eric Millegan 35:50
Remember the beetle thing? We were racing beetles.
Emily Deschanel 35:53
Oh yeah.
Eric Millegan 35:53
I heard that was one of the first episodes and I was convinced that the beetle bit me, which is now that I think about it, that’s ridiculous. But I was convinced the beetle had somehow bit me and that my finger was becoming discolorized. They were like, “We want to take you to, what is it called, the infirmary?”.
Emily Deschanel 36:14
Yeah, the infirmary, the medic. They had the whole bill at five.
Eric Millegan 36:19
And I started apologizing. We had finished shooting it so I wasn’t holding up anything, but I started apologizing and then I apologized for apologizing, because I’d apologize, and you and Hart would be like, “Don’t apologize”. And I’d be like, “I’m sorry”. Then they gave me a tetanus shot and it was crazy.
Carla Gallo 36:41
Can I ask about that? Because the Gorgon just reminded me that is sort of how they ended up explaining your character’s absence. Are you put in jail?
Emily Deschanel 36:54
He’s working with a serial killer.
Carla Gallo 36:56
Right? I kind of remember that. Obviously then, I would come in on the heels of that, right? Because I think that’s the interns, the rotation starts essentially right out. It’s funny because the fact that I even know that I probably was watching to catch up as I was about to start shooting. I probably was like, “Let me educate myself on the show”. If you’re comfortable talking about it, I would love to know and I talked about this before that there was a show where I had been replaced with another actress when it got picked up. If you’re comfortable talking about it, what is the aftermath of a show that you’ve worked on for three years, and then being told that they’re writing your character out, and how is it to then have to watch that show continue without you?
Eric Millegan 37:50
Well, what happened was, there was the writers strike and I’m a Portland Trail Blazers fan. I went to a game in Boston, and then I had so much fun, I decided to keep going to the next games they were playing. So, I started following them around the country, watching games. So I started doing that, not specifically because the writer strike. I just wanted to go to these games. So I was in Sacramento and I got a call that Stephen Nathan and Hart wanted to meet with me. So Iwas like, “Okay, I can meet on Thursday”. And I told her, “Okay, you have to tell me what’s going on”. And he was like, “We’ll talk about at the meeting”. Like, “You have to tell me”. He was like, “Okay” and I was at the game. He was like, “Okay, you know you’re not going to be a series regular on the show anymore, but we’re still going to have you back. It’snot total bad news. Now, we’re still going to have you back occasionally”. They end up not having me back as they told me they were going to as much. So, he told me that and I was like, “Okay, now we’re having the meeting tomorrow”. I was like, “I had the meeting scheduled for the next Thursday”. And then I was like, “No, you get to tell me what’s going on so we’re meeting tomorrow”.
Emily Deschanel 39:07
Yeah.
Eric Millegan 39:08
I called you or you called me and I talked to you. I was like, “Yeah, this is happening”. Then I got in trouble for that, because apparently you would talk to Hart and I talked to Hart about I was pretty much okay, and Hart thought I should have been more upset about it.
Carla Gallo 39:27
What?
Eric Millegan 39:30
I know that sounds terrible […]. He was kind of upset that I wasn’t upset in a weird way. I know that sounds terrible.
Emily Deschanel 39:41
If I said that, I probably was like, “Listen, he’s okay”.
Eric Millegan 39:46
Well, yeah. This aren’t the end of the world.
Emily Deschanel 39:48
Yeah. Listen, thinking about how a journey of bipolar, dealing with that. The fact that you were okay, is a huge thing.
Eric Millegan 40:00
I had a storied career, where things didn’t happen or things didn’t go to Broadway. So, I’m good at handling bad news or disciplining news, I’m just good at it. So, I was going to be okay. I met with them and they initially were like, “So, you’re gourmet gone?” I’m like, “What?” “Have I been eating people?” And they’re like, “No”. So, then they kind of explained that I was the apprentice to gourmet gone. I kind of got excited about it because it’s a storyline, right? You know what I mean? It had gotten to the point two, where I wasn’t doing much on the show and I think they were doing that on purpose, because they wanted to see how the show looked like without me. They started using me less and theybrought in John Francis Daley, then they said he was gonna be series regular. But, the show was designed that there were six series regulars. So, I was leaving so he could come in and then when he left, they brought in John Boyd, so they brought in him. So there was always the young guy, the sixth person in the cast.
Carla Gallo 41:17
They ever say to you kind of in that meeting, where they did they even tell you why this was happening? Did you ask?
Eric Millegan 41:25
To this day, I don’t know completely. No, I don’t.
Emily Deschanel 41:28
Hart never touched on it when we talked to him.
Eric Millegan 41:31
I like the idea that they can bring on you and bring on a rotating cast of interns.
Carla Gallo 41:38
Yeah. The funny thing is, I was shocked to find out that he was like, “Oh, it was really economical to be able to have theyou know, because we were just guest stars”. And I was like, “Oh my God, you don’t know that perspective from behind the scenes”. Like, “Oh, it was a very inexpensive way to still have that intern role”.
Eric Millegan 41:57
Weren’t they potentially kind of almost auditioning you guys in a way to be like, “Well, if we really like one of them, maybe we can”.
Emily Deschanel 42:04
I’m not sure.
Carla Gallo 42:05
It was kind of felt like that. I think that was the conceit in the scripts was kind of like, “Oh, that we’re all trying to get the job”. And I think probably as actors. Not that I thought one of us is gonna land and I don’t know. You saw pretty quickly that it was just always gonna rotate and years later, of course there’d be discussion amongst us, like, “Well, why don’t they make us series regulars?” and you’re late. There’s the answer from Hart. It’s like, “You were never gonna make four of us, five of us, series regulars”. But it’s been nine seasons like, this is funny that we just are still recurring guest stars.
Eric Millegan 42:44
The other thing that happened too was I was told after the second season that there was a debate as the weather to keep me on, even for the third season.
Emily Deschanel 42:54
Okay.
Eric Millegan 42:55
The whole third season, I was so worried, I felt I could do Juno, right? I was always like, “If you did this, if you did that”. So, I always felt I was disappointing them. Even they got really mad at me for laughing. Even though everybody laughed. They were kind of like they felt I was the linchpin, like when you laughed and everybody else. Tell you guys, I used to tell you guys on the set, I was like, “Guys, don’t make me laugh, I’m off the show”. And then the show goes like this.
Emily Deschanel 43:33
Well, let me tell you, when you weren’t there, there was plenty of love.
Carla Gallo 43:39
Well, TJ and Tamara could not maybe get through a scene.
Emily Deschanel 43:43
But that kind of, to me, is something like, “How they have the studies where they tell teachers, like, watch out for these kids”. They’re like, troublemaker kids and then they end up only seeing the kid being troublemaker, doing the bad things.It just really chose a random kid. I’m totally botching sandwiches. They basically decide that you’re the person making everyone laugh. So then they decide, but then they see it and then every director who comes in is like, “Yeah, Eric is always laughing”. I mean, who knows what went on but, I’m curious about that.
Eric Millegan 44:22
Remember the singing thing? We were in the phone room and we were singing, “Maybe” from Annie.
Emily Deschanel 44:28
We sing all of the songs from Annie.
Eric Millegan 44:31
Like in full voice. It really was bad that we were doing that, but Maggie came up to us and it was like, “Hey, Emily, Eric, you know how you guys sing? We love it when you sing.
Emily Deschanel 44:42
We love it when you sing. I don’t think that Tony says it. I think Tony Wharmby was directing I think because she’s like, “We love it when you sing”. She brought us into Angela’s office and she’s like, “We love it when you sing”. I don’t think Tony gets it. You’re like, “Oh, okay. Just tell us, don’t sing.
Eric Millegan 45:09
We did an episode and the pot in the first season, I was always sitting down like my legs picked up on the table. I kind of did that in my audition. I was like, lean back and kind of my legs up. So I always thought that’s like my character (part of my character) especially when we started was kind of a disrespectful and he says the wrong thing, and he doesn’t know he’s saying the wrong thing. So we did a scene and I think it was up on the top level, I think there was a woman who played a judge and she was like, “The acting teacher at Harvard or something like that”.
Emily Deschanel 45:48
In real life, the actor was?
Eric Millegan 45:51
Yeah and we were doing this scene around a table, talking about some case, or some court case or something I got and I sat back with my legs up on the table. I thought it was kind of funny when they came up to me. Tony thought I was being disrespectful, not my character being disrespectful. He thought I was just putting my legs up during rehearsalbecause I was just being a dick or something. Hart came up to me later about that and I was like, “No, that’s my character” and apparently the Harvard acting teacher was, like, “All upset about and everything, and thought I was disrespectful”. I’m like, “No guys, character is disrespectful” we’re doing a scene here, I’m not just putting on my legs, just during rehearsal.
Carla Gallo 46:42
Time for some ads, we’ll be right back.
Carla Gallo 48:04
Okay. So, Emily yesterday, I realized that when I go to pick up my kids, I usually don’t get out of the car.
Emily Deschanel 48:10
Yeah, me either.
Carla Gallo 48:11
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Emily Deschanel 48:38
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Emily Deschanel 49:47
Eric, do you have favorite memories of the show?
Eric Millegan 49:50
I mean, the whole thing was really fun. I remember even saying to you one on the set like, “Is it amazing? We get to do this every day”. We play different scenes and the whole thing was really fun. I remember once coming in for a scene with TJ. I remember just because I was putting Bones in a boiler and doing all this stuff. And of course, because of continuity, you have to do it the same every time. So I remember in hers, we were like, “I lift this bone on this, then I do this and I remember just the whole thing together was so much fun. And I remember, I ultimately learned for me, I don’t know what your guys processes, but I ultimately learned, since they’re in charge of how it edits and everything. I was like, “My job is just to be in the moment, play the scene in the moment, and let them edit it all together. So, that’s just the way I work.
Emily Deschanel 50:48
I mean, that’s something I learned from Hart, so flexible.
Eric Millegan 50:51
I’m just gonna play it completely and be completely present, and then they can edit together because they would edit, they’d make me funnier. In that first episode, there was a scene where Michaela was talking to me, and I turned to look at her, but they put the look in a different point and it was funny, like she said something, and I turned so she made me funny when I wasn’t trying to be. There was another episode where we were all stabbing. Remember, we were all stabbing this man again, we each took time stabbing in a different way and we had lines, it was this long scene.
Emily Deschanel 51:26
Yes.
Eric Millegan 51:27
And the script said something like, “I don’t hit it that hard” and I did it exactly like the script. Then Hart got mad at me about the way I did it. I’m like, “It’s in the script”. He was like, “Oh, okay” anyway, they ended up editing that as a little musical montage. It was like 10 seconds long and it was done, then Zach goes. It was hilarious for a scene that they saidI did something wrong, they made me look like a comic genius.
Carla Gallo 52:01
How are you today?
Eric Millegan 52:06
I’m good.
Carla Gallo 52:06
Good.
Eric Millegan 52:08
I’m on a lot of medication, which helps. Ten years ago, I can’t believe it’s been 10 years. We decided to try switching my medication because of some side effects because I have a tremor although I take the medicine for that now, if I need to.I went to London, I got really high because it was one of those autograph conventions and there was a line under my autograph. I got high and then I totally dove. Then I saw this guy at a bar who was a magician, doing these tricks. I thought, “Wow, you’re the most amazing magician ever” and I got really into him then I totally dove again. When I left and he was leaving, I cried my eyes out and I even knew it was a bipolar episode, there’s nothing I could do about it. I remember crying my eyes out then I remember going home and calling my psychiatrist. She was like, “We had the right medication, we’re going back on it. We’re going to give you a little more med”. I went to sleep and I woke up, it was the crazy slapped out of me. Ever since then, I was like, “I have never gonna not take my medication, because I never want to go through that ever again, not even for a couple days”. That was a total reminder of what I have but I’m still auditioning. I’m not giving up the acting, I just auditioned.
Carla Gallo 53:36
That’s great. You’re doing really well, what a journey.
Emily Deschanel 53:42
What do you think are positives of having bipolar disorder? As an actor, do you think there are some things that are good, that have helped you?
Eric Millegan 53:54
Definitely, totally helpful tapping into your emotions, because I’ve now experienced every emotion.
Eric Millegan 53:59
This is gonna sound weird, but it’s totally true. I would never wish bipolar disorder on anyone, but I’m also glad I have it. I know that sounds weird, but it’s been such an experience. When you can step out of it and go, “Wow, this is fascinating, there’s something fascinating about it”. It does let me tap into my emotions for acting. It’s hard to explain, but for some reason, I’m very proud to be a bipolar.
Emily Deschanel 53:59
Yeah.
Emily Deschanel 54:04
I love that.
Eric Millegan 54:29
But, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through it.
Emily Deschanel 54:42
I saw what you went through and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone either, but I totally hear you.
Eric Millegan 54:48
I’m glad.
Emily Deschanel 54:51
Thank you so much, Eric for doing this. It was so amazing to talk with you and hopefully you’ll come back again atanother point.
Carla Gallo 54:59
In person.
Emily Deschanel 54:59
Yeah, that would be great.
Eric Millegan 55:00
That’d be fun. I love you both.
Emily Deschanel 55:02
Love you, bye. I love talking to Eric. I loved just hearing his perspective on what that was like being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and going through all that while on a TV show. I was there and I saw him go through it, but hearing himtalk about what it was like from his perspective, with years of insight looking back. I hope it’s helpful for people to hear and to have some compassion too, when people are struggling with their mental health. I really appreciate him sharing his story.
Carla Gallo 55:45
Yeah, I feel a connection to him because his story is tied to all of the squinterns, all of us that came in after him. So, I’ve always felt tied to Eric and Zack Addy, that we’re all part of the same role in some ways on Bones.
Emily Deschanel 56:09
Yeah, part of the same story of the show itself being made also the story in the show.
Carla Gallo 56:17
It is weird to think that because I’m sure I can’t even imagine what that felt like to have gone through that and to leave that job and that sort of family. But, it is interesting I guess. It’s sort of not like a sliding doors, but essentially like openeddoor to change my life. It absolutely changed my life, many times said to Hart, I’m like “You are literally the personputting food on my table. You are paying for my house, all of that”.
Emily Deschanel 56:50
Well, same.
Carla Gallo 56:53
I know.
Emily Deschanel 56:54
I was like, “Is the house that, Bones?” Bones and sunny for us.
Carla Gallo 57:02
Yeah, it’s interesting to think of someone else’s journey. Who would have thought that Eric Millegan’s story in life affects Carla Gallo story in life, isn’t that interesting?
Emily Deschanel 57:18
Yeah, I know you’re intertwined and it was crazy that you guys hadn’t met. I knew you had met somehow and I don’t know why, I didn’t realize you hadn’t. Well, I’m glad you guys know each other now.
Carla Gallo 57:31
I know, me too. That was so nice.
CREDITS 57:36
Thanks for listening everybody. I hope you enjoyed that episode with Eric and we’ll be back next week. There’s more Boneheads with Lemonada Premium. Subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content, like excerpts from interviews, extra fan questions and more behind the scenes convos. Subscribe now on Apple podcasts. Boneheads is a production of Lemonada Media and us. It’s produced by Kegan Zema, Claire Jones and Alex McOwen. Our engineers are Brian Castillo and Noah Smith. Our senior vice president of weekly content is Steve Nelson. Our executive producers are Stephanie Wittles Wachs, Jessica Cordova Kramer and us; Emily Deschanel and Carla Gallo, music by Doug Paisley. Special thanks to Allison Bresnick. To stay up to date with us and submit your listener questions, follow us on Instagram @boneheadspod and @LeminadaMedia on all social channels. Follow Boneheads wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership. Thanks so much for listening.
