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Want to figure out how to manage 10 jobs at once, live in your dream home and not even worry about money? Nicole Byer is a self-made comedian and actress who is surviving and thriving in Hollywood, and she’s here to tell us all about it. You’ve probably seen her on Nailed It, Grand Crew or her standup special “Big Beautiful Weirdo.” And she also hosts FOUR podcasts. X and Nicole take us back to their UCB roots, and then go even farther back to a time when Nicole was young and had to figure out the whole money thing on her own. Plus, they talk about why Nicole married for money and what went wrong, the insane thing she did before she bought her house and why it’s so important to have a will (at any age!).

This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures, an early-stage global investment firm backing mission-driven entrepreneurs and industry influencers working toward a fair financial system for all. Learn more at flourishventures.com.

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You can find Nicole Byer on Instagram @nicolebyer.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Nicole Byer, X Mayo

X Mayo  00:04

Welcome back to The Dough. I’m your host, X Mayo. Now on this podcast, we are all about celebrating women who made their own money. So y’all know, being self made is very important to me. That’s my story, but it’s also how women, especially black women, establish ourselves in whatever industry we’re in. Nobody is opening doors for us. I mean, unless they a gentleman, then I’m like, thank you okay, so the women who climb their career ladders with their grit and intelligence. I mean, that’s a beautiful thing. I bet if a black woman was running the electric car business, them cars would be flying by now. Okay, you know what? Let me get off my soapbox. Actually, let me get back on it, because I do want a flying car though. You know, I parked my flying pink Range Rover on Mars you feel me? Now my guest today is a truly self made comedian and actress. I’m talking about the Nicole Byer. You’ve seen her on nailed it. NBC, grand crew and her stand up. Special, big, beautiful weirdo. She also hosts, not one, not two, but four podcasts, four. Count them. Oh, I love her pod, why won’t you date me? Girl, I will date you. I will be the dead men to your Oprah. I’ll be down there harvesting that cabbage. I will. Nicole started out in New York City as a waitress. She said in interviews that she wasn’t too good at waiting tables, but she still got tips because she was funny. This led Nicole to start doing improv. Unfortunately, Nicole had to figure out how to be a young adult without her parents. Her mom passed when she was a teenager, and her father when she was 21 but Nicole worked hard and started rising as an actress, host and comedian. She’s received four Emmy Award nominations for hosting the show. Nailed it. And y’all, I fan girl so hard when I first met her. I mean, listen, I’m just a girl, right? Like she was used to be royalty. So sue me actually don’t Nicole, welcome to The Dough.

 

Nicole Byer  03:26

Hi, thank you for having me, X.

 

X Mayo  03:29

Yes, okay, so you guys know I know Nicole. We are both girls that formerly were on NBC, both of our shows, yep. Cancel rest yes, God bless. But I know Nicole from the comedy scene in New York. She was kind of like taking off when I was kind of like taken in. But like, Nicole has been like comedy royalty amongst UCB and always well known because she was one of three black people and so she so Nicole, do you remember when I first encountered you? I experienced you was when I was an intern at the beast. I always tell you the story, and I’m sure you’re probably tired of hearing it, and you were like, talking shit, and you made a very like blue slave joke that I thought it was so funny because it made white people feel so uncomfortable. And you were like, it’s fine. There are no black people here at UCB I can say whatever. I was like, no, there are. And you were like, oh, black girl.

 

Nicole Byer  04:28

It well, it’s just so I was so used to being alone.

 

X Mayo  04:32

Oh, my god.

 

Nicole Byer  04:33

Yeah, I was so used to being like, well, this is my experience. Is what I want to talk about, and making people a little uncomfortable, or being in scenes and not knowing Star Wars references and shit like that. And then when you were like, No, there’s black people here, I was like, Whoa, oh. And then I ran into you in LA at Sweet chick, yes. And you were. So like, bubbly and vivacious and like fun. And I was like, Oh my God, this girl is contagious, like, It’s so delightful.

 

X Mayo  05:09

Oh, you’re so sweet. I was being so annoying. You guys, Nicole.

 

Nicole Byer  05:12

No, you weren’t.

 

X Mayo  05:13

But yeah, so I So Nicole has always been so gracious and wonderful, and I will continue to give your flowers throughout this episode. But yeah, I just wanted to get off with that little icebreaker with how Nicole and I met. So Nicole, we always start by asking our guests where the hell their money went this week. And I gotta say, you always have great fit style. Also, guys like some of this video will be seen. You will see our vibes, the glasses and the backgrounds on both of us is tea.

 

Nicole Byer  05:42

It is very funny. The backgrounds are popping. We got our giant glasses on. I think you got braids too. You’ve got a spray, cute.

 

X Mayo  05:53

My braids are by store. I have many ones, but she has braids as well. And it’s just like, that is our vibe. So I love your steez. I love your color. We both talked about, you know, loving each other’s backgrounds. So I would love to know for this week, what outfit or article of clothing Did you buy recently that you’re obsessed with, and how much did it cost?

 

Nicole Byer  06:12

This is a little hard, because I love buying things. So when I lived in New York, I didn’t have money. My rent was $500 a month. I was working at lay and Bryant. I was making $7.50 an hour. I would pick up so many different shifts and stuff, and then I started nannying. I would shop at the Salvation Army Wednesdays, half off Wednesdays. So that meant my skirts were 50 cents $1 like I so now I like to go on eBay, and I like to, like, bid on things that are like $2 and then win them for five, and then the shipping is like 10. So I spent $15 on something. So I was on Depop. Okay, that got me there. I was on Depop, and I found a purple sweatshirt with like a white collar, and then there’s white snow leopards on it, like snow, like cartoon snow leopards. And it was $25 and it makes me smile so much. I love dumb stuff. I like to look down and smile,

 

X Mayo  07:21

Yeah, it makes me feel good. I mean, I think that’s why, I mean, you are, like, a model for them, but the company, fashion brand, company, like, they are gonna take my money to the day I die, like, I probably have their whole spring and fall line in my closets, and the fact that they make great clothes for women of my size, women who have tummies, you know? And like, I don’t know who they’re. No model is like, someone tailored it, yes. Also, I do gotta let you guys know Nicole’s name in the Zoom is Whoopi Goldberg, okay? And enough said, we don’t even need to address it the fact that her name is Whoopi Goldberg, you already know what type of fucking interview it’s about to be, okay, period. I think that is iconic, and honestly, Nicole never changed.

 

Nicole Byer  08:04

Thank you. I don’t know how to, like simply, don’t it, is it […]

 

X Mayo  08:13

That is a real issue. I don’t know how to I don’t so, so Nicole, listen, I think you are secretly really smart with money, I think so. I have a hunch, I really do, because you’ve been able to last too fucking long through the ebbs and flows of this industry. I think you’re very smart. I think you’re very savvy. I think you saw like the podcast root before. Now it’s become this big, huge thing. I think that, like you are able to dip in and out of different mediums. Within entertainment, I think you can do multiple things. You have many talents, which you’ve written a book, you have a swim line, like, it’s amazing, right? So you’re one of the true, like, your true self made person in this industry, like, no hedge funds, no rich mom, no, no rich dad, none of that like truly got it out the mud. No, you were talking about 750 I made a little more. I made $8 an hour at unique thrift store in Brooklyn. And isn’t that wild?

 

Nicole Byer  09:10

In New York fucking city? Like this was 2020, 1020 I don’t know, like Yeah, recent enough that that’s wild.

 

X Mayo  09:23

Yeah, dollar pizza every day, ramen, maybe an apple here and there. That’s a little that’s, that’s pushing it, yeah? But I get the sense that you’ve been really strategic. I don’t think that you get to amass this level of success that you have by just like, oh, take it as it comes, you know, um, with your career, your projects, you know, and beating your bag, but also being careful with it. So can I ask you, when you were younger, did your parents ever talk to you about being strategic? Talk to you about money, how to be responsible or like how to be self sufficient?

 

Nicole Byer  09:54

No one ever said anything like over. Vert about it, but it’s like, you know, like you think back about things and you’re like, oh so growing up, my whole family lives in Chicago, but I grew up in New Jersey, and every single year we would drive to Chicago, which is like, yes, it’s like a 16, 14 – 16, hour drive, and we wouldn’t get the air conditioning. My dad would turn the vents on so the air from the hot air from outside would blow in. And it was one of those minivans from like, the late 90s, so, like, the windows just pushed out a little so like, there was no and then we had to eat, like, McDonald’s where, like, we had to get stuff off the dollar menu.

 

X Mayo  10:46

So your dad had the first mobile sauna. Your dad had. This is a mobile sanavan. You got, you girls are not doing this. What are you having saunas in buildings, brick and mortars. You gotta get it on the go. That’s what you did. This is Sana on the go.

 

Nicole Byer  11:05

[…] The sauna on the go. Also drove down to Florida from New Jersey. I thought you were destitute. I was like, Oh, we have to drive everywhere. We don’t have money for planes. I know what a plane is.

 

X Mayo  11:18

I love the teacher being like, Nicole. So when you went for summer, did you ever think of going to Africa? She’s like, Yeah, we’re gonna drive.

 

Nicole Byer  11:24

We’re driving there. We got little floaties on the wheels, and we’re gonna float on over. I truly, like, we just drove everywhere. And my mom would spend money. My dad would be like, why? And she’d be like, because I wanted to, and he’d be like, okay, so my mom didn’t have, like, a full time job. My dad did. He worked at At&t. We drove everywhere, but we were never like, and then like, questions about money would happen, but it seemed to be okay that money was spent. And then my dad used to say to me, Nicole, once money’s gone, it’s gone. And I was like, okay, so I kind of put two and two together. I was like, oh and then he died, and he left us like we me and my sister were set up pretty nicely, but okay, in the back of my head, I was like, if that money goes, I don’t have any money, so, like, I put that in a high yield savings account and didn’t touch it. So, like, he was gone and gave me, like a little, like we had to sell his house and his and he got a pension or whatever. But I put that in a high yield savings account because I was like, if I spent all this man’s money on bullshit, because I was in like, big bullshit phase, like I was, I was partying.

 

X Mayo  12:48

Were you, babe?

 

Nicole Byer  12:49

I was 21

 

X Mayo  12:51

Oh yes, uh huh.

 

Nicole Byer  12:53

And I was like, I’m only 21 I probably will live a while the way I’m living. Who knows? But I was like, once it’s gone, it’s gone, it’s gone, and that, like, just stayed in my brain, so I didn’t touch that. And, like, I was like, on unemployment for a while, didn’t touch that, worked in a restaurant, didn’t like, I really didn’t touch it, till I moved to LA and I was like, Okay, I don’t have a job right now. I have a little bit of savings, but I like, need a little help. So I like, I dipped in that for like, a month, then I got a babysitting job, and then kept working, like, worked my little ass off, and still have it. I didn’t really touch it. I still have that money.

 

X Mayo  13:37

Okay, this is fascinating, because how did you know your instinct, especially because I’ve dealt with grieving close to me, lost my brother to a drunk driver when I was 16, multiple cousins who are like my brothers and sisters we were all raised together have passed away. So it is so interesting to me that you had the strength to be like dealing with that, holding multiple things in me, like high yield savings account. How do you know, who told you to get that? Or how did you learn about that?

 

Nicole Byer  14:03

Um, my dad had a high yield savings account. So I was like, oh, okay, that seems to be better than a normal savings account. And then he had, like, stocks and stuff. And his stocks were, oh, God, what are they called? It’s not like stocks, it’s their bundles of stuff.

 

X Mayo  14:28

They’re bundles of stocks. Let’s just call them bundles. Not hair, not bundles.

 

Nicole Byer  14:33

This just bundles, bundles of something I can’t remember. Like, less risk than actual like playing in the stock market.

 

X Mayo  14:40

No, okay well, listen, I don’t know, yeah, okay, but, Dad had that, and he had the high yield savings account. And she was like, Papa had did that, so I’m gonna do that. Okay, that’s very smart. And so the high yield savings account question is, there? Are a connection to not spending all the money, not just because that’s the lesson that your dad told you, but that is still a connection that you have to your father, that you don’t want that to fully drain out, because it’s like, it’s like a tie to him, a presence to him, and by that being there, he’s kind of still there. Does that make sense?

 

15:20

Maybe, honestly, it might be, like, a an unconscious thing that I’ve done because, yeah, like, I could spend it, I just don’t want to.

 

X Mayo  15:32

Yeah, I think that’s it’s I think that’s great that not, not even just being smart and with your money, but also just being like, I think that that is a very sweet thing that you had with, like, your dad. Like, I think that’s like, my dad did that. I did that. This is the money that he’s left me, and it’s still kind of a thing that you don’t want to spend that last dollar, not just to be financially responsible, but it’s just kind of like, this is the thing that my dad left me, you know, like, I’m just saying that because we’re having grief so much I’ve done that unconsciously with those people’s things.

 

16:04

I have my mom’s the purses she had, like two purses that she had, everyday purses, a brown one and a and a black one. And I took the black one to Barbados, because my dad was from Barbados, but my mom had never been. So I brought the purse to Barbados so she can see Barbados. Whoopee.

 

X Mayo  16:24

That was so sweet.

 

Nicole Byer  16:26

I know, and I sent the purse outside so she could see the view and stuff. Am I gonna cry?

 

X Mayo  16:33

Nicole, you can’t. I’m already emotional. I can’t wait. So how old were you when your mother unfortunately passed away?

 

Nicole Byer  16:41

16.

 

X Mayo  16:42

Nicole, we both dealt with death that close to 16, I lost my brother who was like, my greatest year in my world at 16. Okay, it’s tough.

 

16:50

Can we talk about some trauma for a sec? Because I feel like, because I talked about this in therapy yesterday, okay, I was like, because I was talking about the election and how I was like, at the end of this, this man will have been in my life for 12 fucking years, but I was like, I don’t understand. I was like, I keep getting texts, and I don’t know why people aren’t compartmentalizing. And she was like, they’re grieving Nicole. And I was like, yeah, but you just shove it away. And she was like, No, you gotta grieve a little. And I was like, okay, my mom died when I was 16, and, like, a couple months after she died, I was expected to just sit in class and do work because I was in high school and oh my god. And I was like, how do you do that without compartmentalizing and shoving it away, like, I’ve just learned how to do that.

 

X Mayo  17:41

Oh, my God, you just opened something for me.

 

Nicole Byer  17:44

Really ?

 

X Mayo  17:45

Well, my brother died when I was 16, and I still had to finish, and I was cheerleader and class president, and, like, president of clubs and very active. I was a dancer and choreographer.

 

17:57

And you’re not okay. You’re literally compartmentalizing your grief and putting it away so you can just do life because you’re 16, nobody’s actually telling you, hey, you can grieve. I spent almost every day in the guidance counselor’s office this woman, and she would let me be in her office, and I she’d be like, you have to go to class. And I’d be like, but I’m in the guidance counselor’s office. Counselor’s office. I’m getting guidance. And she was like, I know, but like, you have to go to class. And she’s the one who took me to a therapist for the first time. And you know, it was just I couldn’t believe that, like, I was expected to live. It’s so wild. My dad didn’t know what to do. Like, there’s no like, I mean, there’s books on it, but like, what? You slam down a book and you learn how to deal with your daughters without this woman who was like, the star of the family, like, I don’t it’s, it’s fucked up. And you just learn how to, like, be sad and put it in a box and then smile. And then after you’re done with what you need to do, you open that box and you’re sad again. And it’s a weird thing that a lot of people don’t understand.

 

X Mayo  19:13

I have to breathe.  Virginia, my mother, best mom ever. It’s like if you’re not presenting solutions to problems, you part of the problem. What do you do? Right? And I saw my mother, who lost her son, go to work every day. My mother, my mother, she unfortunately was laid off because capitalism wanted to replace her job as a book collector at Cedars with robots. That’s a separate podcast and but when that happened, she got a big old severance and had so much PTO time. My mom had so many sick days and PTO time, from her 16 years there to a mass like three years like she never, ever took a day off, ever took a few days off when my brother died. And so I’m just, I think, with you hearing that, it’s so affirming. Nicole, but I think that it could be a gift and a curse that you and I rationalize things like that, because it probably is moments where we could give more of a breather to that. But I don’t know if you have this, Nicole, having lost both of your parents, and I’m so deeply sorry, and I am no way, shape or form, trying to compare the death I’ve experienced to that it is not the same. I hope that’s not coming across.

 

Nicole Byer  20:22

No, not at all.

 

X Mayo  20:23

How do you think our compartmentalizing affects our approach to money today? Because now I know that you and I are both there. I love I love having a friend in this little compartmentalization box with me.

 

20:35

I will say it’s fucked up, but if I am sad and I’m offered a decent amount of money, that sadness gets put in a box, and I go make my money. I will always make money.

 

X Mayo  20:48

Period, let’s say it together. I will always make money.

 

Nicole Byer  20:53

Yes, and I’ll tell you something when I open my little residual checks, whether it be for $1,000.20 a penny. I always whisper, I will always make money when I open that to manifest more money. I really do believe in manifesting and yeah, but you also put in the work I do. Put in the work I do. It’s not like, I’m like, money and then go to sleep and don’t do a thing. I know. I’m like, I’m emailing my my manager, being like, what about this idea? What can we pitch? But yeah, I do believe in manifesting, and I think sometimes people get too frustrated. They get frustrated too quickly, because sometimes when you manifest, there’s a step. It’s like, there’s stairs you have to walk up before you get to the thing that you want. Do you know what I mean? Like, I yeah, was like, flying around the country, doing stand up. And nobody really knew who I was, except for, like a I guess if it was now, it’d be like, Gen Z knows who I am, because it was like, people in college and then people my own age knew me on girl code. But I was doing stand up around the country, doing weekends, and people didn’t know who I was, so it was like, oh, let’s just see the girl who’s in town this weekend. And it was tough. It’s tough to do for people who don’t know you, especially when you’re a black woman in like, the middle of Ohio or the middle of Pennsylvania or like, whatever. But like, that was a little step I had to take before, because I had to get good at stand up. So that’s how I got good at it. So for when people knew who I was ready and I wasn’t shitting the bed or whatever. So it’s like, that’s not how I saw it going, but that’s how it went, and I’m so glad it went that way.

 

X Mayo  25:06

So when you experience the whole thing about acting, being a comedian, doing improv and stuff, also the funny stories, when Nicole, everybody has told me a story when I was like, Oh, my God, Nicole Byer at UCB, because you were like, the one of the biggest people, and just black in general, not even black women that have come out. They were like, oh, my God, Nicole used to work the front desk. She was so funny. And I know those stories, hustling your ass and wasn’t that to pay for classes.

 

25:35

So I started doing I got married, to play, to pay for my first round of classes.

 

X Mayo  25:41

Okay, walk it back, whoa, what the fuck do you mean? You got married?

 

25:47

I, this is wild instead of touching my dad’s money, I was, I was, uh, was this? This was in between working at Lane Bryant and I worked at a restaurant next and there was, like, a lull. I was very depressed. I remember saying to my roommate at the time, I was like, wearing a blanket over my head, and I was eating day old pizza that I had in my room, and I was watching Tyra, and I said to my roommate, I was like, Tyra’s the thing I live for. And she was like, are you okay? And I was like, I don’t think so.

 

X Mayo  26:27

Tyra was doing black face to be go undercover as a stripper. This, she was losing it.

 

26:34

And she was wearing fat suits. She was yelling at people in the audience. I was just like, oh, so I was like, Okay, you’re right. I need money. Like I’m on unemployment. I don’t know where I’m gonna work. What if I get married for money? People marry people all the time for green cards. What if I do that? Yeah. So I went on Craigslist, and I put out an ad, and then I answered ads, and I met with, I believe two or three people. One was this young guy who lived in Williamsburg who seemed chill. And I was like, oh my. We went to dinner. He paid for it. And I was like, wait, this might actually work. He seems like, really chill. Until he was like, you have to come live with me in Williamsburg, and we have to consummate the marriage. And I was like, but I don’t want to fuck you. I don’t know you. And I was like, okay, no. And he was like, all right. And then I met this man, oh, I met two people. Then I met this man in Jersey. I took a train out to Jersey, and he was just like, You ever see the mummy?

 

X Mayo  27:41

Yes, Brandon Frazier.

 

Nicole Byer  27:43

Yeah, you know the guy who gets eaten up by the bugs? He’s like, kind of round and like, kind of loud. Do not tell me he looked like the bug? Sure. No, he looked like the man who got eaten up by the bug. But he kind of wanted a bug.

 

X Mayo  27:56

So he looked like the man who got eaten up by the bug. Even if you ain’t seen Mummy, you could just picture what that looked like.

 

28:04

Just a round man and no shade, because I’m round too. But like, there was something, there was something buggy about him, and he kept trying to get me to get in this van to go somewhere else. And I was like, I don’t think I want to go to a second location with you. You’re creeping me out. And then I ended up going back home. And I was like, fuck. I don’t know if I’m I don’t know if this is gonna work out. I’m two for two. And then my roommate at the time was like, I’m gonna marry my friend’s boyfriend, whose name was Flavio, not Fabio, Flavio. And I was like, wait, you’re getting married. You’re stealing this idea from me? How dare. But then she and her friend found me somebody and picked me up in her Chevy HH, which looks like a PT Cruiser, but it’s not, drove me out to meet him, and I met him, and we got married the next week. My wedding photos are insane. I have blue eyes, a bad weave, ballet slippers.

 

X Mayo  29:09

Nicole, you your motherfucking ass, wore contacts? I couldn’t tell me nothing. You couldn’t tell me nothing. She said, I used to be scared of the dick. Real bitch. That’s what Nicole said. And what you gonna tell me with my business casual, with my ballet slipper.

 

29:39

I was, yep, I had my little white ballet slippers on period.

 

X Mayo  29:43

Okay, so you married Flavio?

 

29:46

No, so my roommate married Flavio. I won’t say his name, okay.

 

X Mayo  29:50

Don’t say his name. But you married someone, and how did that marriage go? Did you get money? And how long you did?

 

29:57

I got so I was supposed to get 10,000 Dollars. I got a little bit of it up front, a little bit when we got married, and then I didn’t realize that my friend, my roommate’s friend, was like, put some of the money in the glove compartment. And I was like, oh, yeah, keep it safe. She never gave it back. That was her finders fee. And I was like, oh, I’ll never give anybody money again like that. Oh, never

 

X Mayo  30:21

You got scammed?

 

30:22

Did get scammed. I did,  she took, like, 1000 of my dollars, and when I got married, because I needed the money. So, like, that $1,000 was, like, so much money to me, and I, I this girl never came around again, because I was like, if you come around again, I’ll kill you. Like, I’ll literally kill you. You took my money.

 

X Mayo  30:43

That would kind of make me not come around. Yeah, no, truly, and she deserved that threat. Here’s the thing. So no name person who you married this this was truly, how do we get that set up? Did you be like, hey, were you made aware of why marrying you? Did this person have paid? Is this person a legal citizen? What was he getting out of the deal?

 

31:07

He needed a green card, and I think he wanted a green card, and I think he was having trouble getting from the work visa to a green card. So the easiest way to do that was to get married. And then my dad died. Oh, I fucked that up. My dad hadn’t died yet. My dad died then, and then I just needed time. I was like, I can’t deal with this. I need to help my sister clean the house. I need to help my sister go through all his shit, go through all the because he didn’t have a will. So then everything reverted to my mother. So then we had to submit her death certificates, because she was next to Kin, but she was already dead. When someone doesn’t have a will, I literally, if you’re listening right now, I don’t care if you’re 2030, 4050, 100 do a will, make a will. It doesn’t cost very much to get something notarized. It does not cost very much. And like, put your shit in a trust if you think it’s enough that the state will want it and then redistribute it. It’s a lot of stuff, nobody tells you, but anyway, I just, like, reached out to him. I was like, hey, I just need some time. And he was like, got it. No worries. And then I guess it had been like, maybe four months. I don’t remember how long it was, but I did take a while. He called me and he was like, You’re a bitch. And I was like, I thought we said that I could take some time. And then he just never called me again. And I was like, I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t be married to someone and not know what’s going on. And then after a couple months of that, my sister was like, I think we should get you divorced. And I was like, okay, and I was in Jersey, paying Jersey taxes. I think, I don’t remember, but my mail was going to him, I don’t remember. I I just know if you file in New Jersey, it’s, I think, a no fault divorce place. I might be fucking this up, but all I had to do was serve him papers, and he just had to accept the papers, and I was granted a divorce.

 

X Mayo  33:07

And it was easy peasy. You didn’t have to pay him money alimony. There isn’t you don’t have a okay, so that was when you were 20?

 

Nicole Byer  33:16

21, baby.

 

X Mayo  33:17

21 oh my God.

 

33:21

Making some of the best choices I’ve ever made.

 

X Mayo  33:24

Listen, you’re a human being having an experience. So wow, Nicole, your your Lifetime movie. I can’t wait to see that.

 

X Mayo  35:27

So I want to get to building your career right, because you have got it at the mud on your own. I love talking to fellow people, creatives that have done that for themselves. It is very difficult. It is truly a privilege for you to be able to believe in yourself at the level that you do, to go out and create the things that you create. So what has betting on yourself looked like in your career?

 

35:50

I think betting on myself has looked like me, just being me. So my first job, my first consistent job, was girl code. And also, I think what has benefited me is never asking a question, just going into something and being told something, and then doing what I think you told me and interpreting it the way I interpret it, because I had never watched. I had watched like, I love the 90s and like those talking head shows, but I hadn’t watched Guy Code, which was a show that existed before girl code. And what it was was I gave me a series of prompts that I was like, I guess I talk about this, I don’t know, and I would like practice in the mirror. And I was like, I don’t know. I really don’t know how to do this. And then went to the audition, and they were like, This is great. This is this is all. It’s just talking, it’s or telling jokes. And I was like, Okay, and then they’d be like, we’ll rephrase it this way. And I was like, all right. So then I got it, and they kept flying me out to New York. And then at one point, I was like, how many was like, how many episodes am I doing? And they were like, all of them. And I was like, oh, okay like.

 

X Mayo  37:07

Yes, you were, we saw you on every episode. All the midst of, like, all your acting, you’re doing voice over work hosting. You have your stand up, and you have not one, not two, not three, but four podcasts, right? And you’re working on your next special. So with all that, all that income coming in, and so much work that you’re creating, you were you remind me of the people that I look to when I feel like, oh my god, okay, can I do it all? It’s like, Oh yes, absolutely. You look at people like Nicole Byer, and it’s like, no, absolutely, she will always work, because she will always create the work, right? So with all that being said, Nicole, do you still worry about money? Do you feel like, okay, I’ve made it. I’m good. You know, money is not something that stresses me out, or does it still give you stress from time to time.

 

37:55

I am very lucky and very privileged to say that money does not stress me out at the current moment, but I will say I do not spend money without a job lined up. So like if I want to buy a rug, or if I want to paint my my walls again, or whatever, I figure out how much that’s going to cost, and then I go, instead of that money leaving my account or whatever, I will make sure I have a job. If I don’t have a job, I hold off on stuff, because once money is gone, it’s gone.

 

X Mayo  38:34

Oh, my God, I’m gonna remember that Papa Byer. I’m gonna remember that from him forever.

 

38:40

So when I bought my house, I did the most insane thing. I calculated my cash, my IRAs, my investments, I calculated how much I would have if I cashed all that out, and then I did the math, and I was like, if I never worked again, I could live in this house for six and a half years. And my money manager was like, Nicole, you didn’t have to do all that. You could have just asked me, yeah, this is my job. I could have asked you if you if you could afford that. I get paid to do this yeah and I was like, oh, okay, well, do you think I could afford it? And he was like, yes, yes, buy the house, and if shit goes poorly, you can sell the house. And I was like, oh, shit. That thought never occurred to me. But also I was like, I want to die in this house. I love my house very, very much. I also lived in an apartment for a really long time with no overhead. My rent was $900 a month. My car was an old Honda Civic that was paid off, and I was making pretty decent money, but I was like, I’d rather stack it than spend it. Yeah, and when I moved, I moved from this two bedroom apartment to a house, and. And I was like, well, I’m not buying boxes. That’s insane. So I threw everything in garbage bags, and the movers were like, okay, where are we moving her to under a bridge? And then the movers was like, not to be rude, but how are you how are you affording to live? I have never laughed harder, because he was like.

 

X Mayo  40:24

He saw them damn hefty bags. They said girl.

 

40:27

Yes, for little contractor bags, because they moved me in all my garbage. Essentially they were like, This could be garbage, ye don’t know.

 

X Mayo  40:37

Yeah, and we could throw it all out. And she was like, no, actually, there’s some really valuable.

 

Nicole Byer  40:45

My pots and pans are in this garbage bag. I moved shit from the dollar store into my house.

 

X Mayo  40:51

Oh, I’m oh, absolutely, I’m not gonna be a fool. Now there I everyone has their luxury. I always say food flights fun for me in furniture, like, those are my four F’s. Like, that’s what I will spend it on. I’m not a bad girl. I’m not a shoe girl. Now, I do buy statement pieces. I love wearable art. I love fashion. I love fashion because I feel like I can get a little taste of you before I see you. I love a moment. And to me, my moment can happen at Whole Foods, like, I will wear a gown i don’t care. Like, I really dress like I’m going to a quinceanera or to the gym. And so that’s literally my vibe. There’s no in between a quinceanera or the gym. Nicole, we have taken too much of your time here at The Dough, I am so excited to talk to you. Excuse me, I was so excited to talk to you. I’m no longer excited.

 

41:40

Yeah, you’re like, the excitement has gone down. This was a Bucha.

 

X Mayo  41:45

I was trying to be present partisan. Well, I’m so bad with grammar, and I’m like, No, I am so excited. But that makes people think that I’m starting a whole podcast again. But yeah, so that’s what I meant to say. Like, yes, it was amazing talking to you. I learned so much, and I really I thank you for you unknowingly affirming me about the whole compartmentalizing thing and what you were talking about with your therapist. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and discussing your grief and all of that. We look forward to continue supporting you, and we want to do that via social media. So can you please tell everyone where they can follow you on socials?

 

42:17

Yes. So I’m on Instagram @NicoleByer, I’m on Twitter, I refuse to call it X @NicoleByer, but who knows how long I’ll be there. I am on the Tiktok, oh, my god. How old am I? I’m on the Tiktok at, uh, oh, yeah. Nicole Byer was taken is my Tiktok.

 

X Mayo  42:37

This is wicked.

 

Nicole Byer  42:38

And that’s also my website.

 

X Mayo  42:39

Oh., Nicole Byer was taken.

 

Nicole Byer  42:41

nicolebyerwastaken.com because Nicolebyer.com was taken, okay.

 

X Mayo  42:46

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Okay, so Nicole’s four podcast is, Why Wouldn’t You Date Me? We have Newcomers, Lauren Lapkus, best friends, which this year, Zemeda and we have 90 Bay fiance, right?

 

Nicole Byer  43:00

90 day bay with Marcy Jarrow, and that’s on Patreon, but we watch the little 90 day universe. It is the best, yeah, the best television. Yeah, the Learning Channel.

 

X Mayo  43:10

Married at First Sight. And also you and I will discuss Love is Blind this past season offline.

 

43:18

Just say this boy, oh boy do I love Leo. Oh, Leo the art dealer. Oh, my word.

 

X Mayo  43:25

And we’re gonna end it on that note, because that’s who Nicole should have married at 21 thank you so much, Nicole bye, Nicole.

 

Nicole Byer  43:34

Bye.

 

X Mayo  43:36

I’m saying it here. Nicole Byer is the patron saint of the dough, Nicole works smart and stays funny. I love when she said, I don’t buy stuff without a job lined up. Okay? She’s thinking about revenue streams, honey. Now you heard it from Nicole. Write your will, okay? I don’t care if you all you gotta do is leave some paper towels to somebody. Write it, open a high yield savings account. Please don’t be afraid to ask others how much they’re making so you can advocate for more money. I don’t know about getting married for money, but you know you do you boo, because if she has taught us anything and says she will always make money one way or another. Tattoo that on my body, well, not a part that you can see, because I will get a whooping. Still, Nicole knows what she wants, how much she deserves, and I hope hearing from her helps you go after what you want, too. The Dough is a Lemonada original. I’m your host X Mayo. This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures. This series is presented by the Margaret Casey Foundation. Our producers are Tiffany Bui, and Dani Matias. Kristen Lepore is our senior producer. Mix and Sound Design by Bobby Woody. Original Music by Pat Mesiti Miller. Jackie Danziger is our Vice President of narrative content. Executive Producers include me X Mayo, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Help others find our show by leaving us a rating and writing a review. You can follow me on IG  @80dollarsandasuitcase and Lemonada @lemonadamedia across all social platforms, follow The Dough wherever you get your podcast or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership, thanks so much for listening. See you next week, bye.