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Uncle Matty McConkey returns as co-host! Matt is taking the fam to Paris soon, but the hotel v.s. Airbnb debate may divide them…at least physically. Then, they’re joined by Tanzila Ahmed, writer, political strategist, and former co-host of The #GoodMuslimBadMuslim Podcast. She talks about her new book “Grasping At This Planet Just To Believe,” a decade’s worth of poems written during the month of Ramadan. Plus, she shares her favorite kajal eyeliner that you can get at none other than Costco.

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Please note, Add To Cart contains mature themes and may not be appropriate for all listeners.

To see all products mentioned in this episode, head to @addtocartpod on Instagram. To purchase any of the products, see below.

• Matt’s husband listens to ATC while doing his 5-step routine from ​​Augustinus Bader 
• Matt’s new fave spiritual guide is Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance 
• In “The Believer,” Sarah Krasnostein looks at the paranormal from a compassionate and sociological perspective
• The Vasanti Kajal Eyeliner is budge-proof
• If she could, Taz would build a museum of items she’s rescued from the thrift
• If you want a beautiful read, pick up Grasping At This Planet Just To Believe 

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Matt McConkey, Tanzila Ahmed, Kulap Vilaysack

Kulap Vilaysack  00:10

Welcome back to Add to Cart. I’m your auntie and host Kulap Vilaysack.

 

Matt McConkey  00:13

And I’m your other host, Matt McConkey, filling in for SuChin Pak where is it Matty McConkey?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  00:19

Matty McConkey, Carter’s. We’re recording this while aunty Su is gallivanting in South Korea, so Matt is back in the co pilot seat, and we have some stuff in our cart to talk about today. Are you ready, Matt?

 

Matt McConkey  00:32

I’m so ready, and I wanted to just say hello to all the carters, especially Michael Grassy who’s listening to this while he is probably doing his nightly face routine in the bathroom. That’s where he usually listens to the show. He’s your number one fan.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  00:47

I love him. I love everything about him, and I love that he listens to our show. And of course, can we just hear some brands that he’s using? Can you just drop a little bit?

 

Matt McConkey  00:58

Oh, talk about this is a hefty cart he’s got, first of all, the amount of shipments from augustinus bodder that are coming into this house on a like, weekly basis. Like, I don’t know how one can physically go through that many. And also, he doesn’t like when I call him out on it or question it. It’s like a little bit of a secret shame he has. He, to me, is like a Kulap where it’s like you’ve got this elaborate skin routine, but also, if you just use like a bar of Dove, you’d look the same. It’s like your genetics, or your genetics.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  01:35

Okay, how dare you say bar of Dove like soap on my face. I mean, are you testing me? Did you choose violence? I can’t believe you come so hard, Matt, it was so hard.

 

Matt McConkey  01:50

We should do a dove bar challenge where you only use a dove bar for a whole week, no other products, and I guarantee you’re still gonna have this perfect dewy glow.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  02:00

No way. Well, what about okay, maybe, but what about the experience? That’s part of it, the packaging, the experience and no, no way. I’m gonna be chalky. It’s not it’s not gonna be right. I’m gonna look so horrible. Like, why are you trying to sabotage me?

 

Matt McConkey  02:16

I’m not. I’m trying to just get you to recognize your own pretty privilege. Like, I have a different skin journey. I need, like, medical interventions. But anyway, Michael is in there doing his five step augustinus botter routine while he’s listening, he’s laughing, he’s loving me getting to co host is like the first time he has truly been proud of one of my accomplishments.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  02:43

That’s not true. That’s not true. That’s not true. Well, let’s get into your cart, because I’m just seeing words and I’m seeing exclamation points and it’s all it’s all a mystery. Let’s start with the first Paris.

 

Matt McConkey  02:58

Paris, well, my mom is turning 80 in March, and we said to her, you know, this fall for your 80th birthday, when Michael’s done with work, we’ve got, like, a month where we are free, do you want to go on a trip, wherever you want? And she hasn’t been that many places like overseas, but so I’m thinking she’s gonna go Italy, you know, maybe Ireland, like, go somewhere new. And she says one of the only places she’s already been, which is Paris, and the last time we went was when I was in high school, you know, this is seven, eight years ago now, and she came as one of the chaperones. And of course, I’m in high school, so I’m not even absorbing any of the experience. It’s all about, like, who’s gonna sneak into each other’s hotel rooms with, like, the Sangria that we somehow smuggled into the into our bags? I’m not paying attention to the any of the Notre Dame, any other.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  04:01

Architecture, nothing.

 

Matt McConkey  04:03

Yeah, she has absorbed all of it that was like the highlight of her life. But wants to go back. But wants to go back with such strange caveats, like, because I said to her, Oh, I’m surprised you didn’t say Italy, because I’ve expressed a desire to go. And it seemed like that’d be, you know, and Michael knows Italy, well, it’ll be fun for him to take us there. And she was like, It’s awfully churchy. I don’t want to go to all those churches. And I was like, that’s fair. And we, you know, we went to London a few years ago. And she was like, London was a little too churchy for me as well. And I’m like, okay, fine. She’s like, a proud atheist, which great, but also a history nerd. And I’m like, but aren’t they? Isn’t it still, like, just beautiful to go into these old cathedrals, and Paris is churchy in its own, like, European way as well.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  04:50

Mention Notre Dame.

 

Matt McConkey  04:53

Yeah, in fact, some of the most famous churches in the world. But she was like, yeah, yeah. We just don’t need to go to those this time. And she goes, I want to go to the louver, but I don’t want to spend more than an hour and a half there, and I don’t need to see Mona Lisa again. I’m like, are you? Are you mad at Mona Lisa? Like, did she what she said that so many times? I don’t. So, we have, luckily, we have other family coming. We’ve got Colleen, my birth mom and her husband, my brother, Brandon, his girlfriend, Alex. It’s gonna be a whole fun family. Michael’s mom and stepdad. It’s gonna be a fun family.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  05:29

Oh, I did not know that last time I talked to you about this, you were trying to get your bio mom to come, because they’re so close. They’re, like, really tight, and I didn’t know that. Like, the whole gang’s coming, that’s amazing.

 

Matt McConkey  05:41

Whole gangs coming. They’re so excited. They’re gonna I mean, here’s where I kind of did everybody dirty is as we’re sort of just getting into the initial planning stages and dates and stuff. Then it becomes like, so where are we gonna stay? Michael and I are both thinking like we want to do a hotel. But these are not hotel people, they’re Airbnb people. So I’m like, we could do one big Airbnb. We’re all staying together, but these two little gay princesses wanted their own hotel room, and basically they’re gonna take my mom and put her up in their Airbnb with them while we’re sitting pretty in a hotel by ourselves anyway.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  06:23

How many miles away?

 

Matt McConkey  06:25

That’s a good question actually, I don’t even know if they’ve booked it like, is it in the same is it called […].

 

Kulap Vilaysack  06:31

[…] Quarter, are you in the same quarter?

 

Matt McConkey  06:34

Hopefully we’re in the same quarter.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  06:36

That’s something that can be determined. Well, fingers crossed your writer, she’s like, I mean, if it works out that way.

 

Matt McConkey  06:44

Good luck.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  06:47

All the best, that’s amazing. That’s amazing. Okay, tell me about Tara Brach.

 

Matt McConkey  06:54

Tara Brach, okay, you know.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  06:57

Tara Brach

 

Matt McConkey  06:57

Followed our share of gurus over the years.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  07:00

I was certainly always looking for one.

 

Matt McConkey  07:01

Always looking for one, and Tara Brach is a, I think she’s a, she’s a psychologist and and a Buddhist. And she wrote, most famously, the book radical acceptance. And she has a podcast that is some just meditations. So I do those a lot, and also a lot of just talks that she gives. And I listen to these. They’re like 45 minute talks. I listen to them while I walk tugboat in the morning and afternoon. And there’s something about talk, about a soothing energy, like there’s something about her. And sometimes I’m even trying to do the meditations while I’m walking. So occasionally I’ll close my eyes while I’m walking the dog, and then I’ll almost run into someone, and I’m like, so sorry, yeah, just I’m doing a Buddhist meditation on it’s called rain. Actually, her method is called rain, which stands for, recognize, allow, investigate, nurture. So those are the four steps she’s walking you through when, when something comes up. There’s something about the the rain process that feels like your troubles are being washed away. And I’m crying, I’m having like a full spiritual experience on these walks with tugboat. And, yeah, I don’t know. I just can’t say enough about her. I think it’s like, I there’s also this sense that she does not have an agenda, like she’s not giving you, like internet marketing speak. She’s not, she’s not trying to sell her next workshop to you. It’s like she says at the beginning of every podcast, these podcasts are free. If you want to make a donation, you can go to my website, and that’s the only hustle you’re getting. And I think that I had this sort of layman’s understanding of Buddhism, where I’m like, Oh, you’re just accepting everything, everything, just you. It’s about being present and just accepting everything, which sometimes I’m like, that ain’t gonna work for me. But there’s a lot more to it, and it has a lot more to do with other just real basic, I mean, your run of the mill, spiritual principles, your forgiveness, you know you’re letting go, your loving kindness.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  09:18

Releasing suffering.

 

Matt McConkey  09:20

All of that, you know, all the hits.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  09:22

Yeah. I mean, I grew up in a Theravada Budda household, and I barely, and kind of a lot of what I retain is more ceremonial from my family, and then the other stuff has been more like Western books that I’ve read. So that’s exciting. Add to Cart. And now I’m really, I’m not saying this as a critique, Matt, even though my tone and face belies that. I’m just really understanding how much you consume and how much is on your plate, because also I know that you’re doing that daily. You also have what you refer. Or two as your cases, and that is you listening to podcasts, many of them, Patreons, and doing internet research on the paranormal, focusing now mainly on UFOs, but Matt, what are they called now?

 

Matt McConkey  10:17

Well, I’ve done a little bit of work on cryptids this spring, but my primary interest at the moment is UFOs and what we call Usos, which are unidentified submergible objects. There are a lot of theories that they’re like underwater UFO Bases, especially in southern California. So what’s going on underneath there? So, yeah, that’s, that’s also, you’re right, that’s taking up a lot of my headspace as well. Like my research, mostly consists of listening to podcasts where other people are talking about their research and and, by the way, not believing most of it.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  11:04

Yeah, that’s the other piece. Matt and I were on a live episode of garbage world a couple months ago in the X Files world, I’m the believer, and you are the non believer. You’re, you’re the David Duchovny, you’re the skeptic. And yet, for my birthday, I add to cart The Believer. This was given to me. It’s a book, it’s nonfiction, it’s by Sarah Krasnostein. It’s a an unforgettable tour of the human condition that explores our universal need for belief to help us make sense of life, death and everything in between. And I’m devouring it. I know you’ve gifted it many times over.

 

Matt McConkey  11:48

Yeah, that’s like my go to gift at the moment. It’s just so good because she’s also not necessarily a believer in any of the like. She’s taking sort of a sociologist approach, where she’s immersing herself in different people with with kind of extreme belief systems, I guess so. She spends time with, like a professional ghost hunter. She spends time with a woman who’s who believes that her husband was abducted by a UFO and never returned. She spends time with a death doula.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  12:19

Incarcerated, yeah, a death doula, a woman incarcerated for killing her husband after suffering years of domestic abuse. Mennonite families in New York. It’s funny and not surprising to you when I say this about me, but like the very like, I guess I sound like your mom, like the very churchy segments the Mennonite chapters or the creationist museum there are so it’s hard for me to read those and, like, not have judgment, but then I have to, I have to just laugh, because I’m like, yeah, because the ghost hunter stuff, yeah, UFO, you have the fiance of a disappeared pilot. Yeah, he was definitely Cessna was seen attached to that UFO. So, like, that’s what, nobody talked to that witness so, like, yeah, I just know, like.

 

Matt McConkey  13:14

I’m with you. I’m like, those people, the religious people, are crazy. But you know, the the experiencers, as we call them, in the UFO community now, those I’ll listen to.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  13:26

Now you include yourself in the UFO community. Is that official?

 

Matt McConkey  13:30

Yeah, I mean, but as a researcher, you know, a passionate researcher, not as an experiencer, yet, yet. The last time I was on Add to Cart, I talked about what, just thinking that I saw UFO, realizing it was something else, and being devastated.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  13:48

Yeah, you wanted to be taken away.

 

Matt McConkey  13:50

100%

 

Kulap Vilaysack  13:51

Have you listened to Taylor Swift’s down bad?

 

Matt McConkey  13:53

No, I’m not a not a Swifty. Wait, what is it? Is it about UFO abduction?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  13:59

Yes.

 

Matt McConkey  14:00

What?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  14:01

It is, yes, it is your husband’s a Swifty. You can’t get into it. You just simply can’t down bad is one of the best songs on her very large album that’s out right now. Her thick album.

 

Matt McConkey  14:14

Is she the abductee in this song?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  14:19

Yes, yes. And she’s upset to have been returned. I think you’ll enjoy this song.

 

Matt McConkey  14:25

Okay, this is literally the first time that I have been interested in Taylor Swift.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  14:41

Before we go, we have a guest waiting in the wings. She is a political strategist, storyteller and artist based in Los Angeles. In the past 20 years, she mobilized over half a million AAPI voters to the polls. She co hosted the groundbreaking podcast hashtag good Muslim, bad Muslim for five years, and she’s the author of the book, grasping at this planet just to believe, please add to cart, Tanzila Ahmed.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  15:10

Hey, thank you so much for having me.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  15:12

Thank you. Thank you I want, let’s, let’s start with your check your book. Yeah, please, this beauty. Thank you for giving the world it first of all, Oh, thanks. Could you give us a little background? Could you talk about this beautiful community that you created that birthed this book?

 

Tanzila Ahmed  15:34

Yeah, after my mom died in 2011 I just like lost my ability to write, and I I threw myself into painting, and I was really trying to force myself back into the practice of writing. So I was doing a poem a day. And then when Ramadan rolled around, I was like, All right, I’m gonna do a poem a day for Ramadan. And Ramadan’s the month of fasting for Muslims and it was just very like, uh, cathartic for me. And then I was talking to people about it, and everyone else was like, oh, I want was like, oh, I want to participate. So then I, like, made this Facebook group back when we had Facebook groups, and I invited the friends that I had to to, like, you know, write a poem a day. And that group turned into 70 people. We ended up, like, going to different writings conferences. We would have events, it was amazing.

 

Matt McConkey  16:20

A poem a day, especially over, I guess 10 years is just such an accomplishment. That’s such a diligent practice that you have. When do you know the poem is finished? How quickly do you sort of move on and let it go? Or what does your editing process look like?

 

Tanzila Ahmed  16:39

That’s such a good question, Matt, I have no editing process. The thing about, like, having a project that’s daily, I mean, you guys are both artists, like, when you self correct yourself and like, you just go into this like, cycle of, like, never finishing anything. And the whole point of this project was just to write. It was, like, about the process. It can be as terrible, like, on my bad days, I would just write haikus because I was like 575, that’s all I can manage or I’d write half poems, yeah, I mean, and I wasn’t really like good at like writing poems a day I definitely skipped a lot of days I skipped like almost every day this year it’s really hard but like to have that community to lean on and like to read other people’s poems, inspires your poems like that whole process was absolutely amazing. So I will say, like, I don’t think my poems are like, they’re not fantastic poems, but they are poems that were written during this very spiritual, meaningful time. I mean, I’m saying that as someone who, like, reads a lot of poetry now, I’m just like, okay, like, I can tell the difference between like, better poems and not, not so great poems, but like this is more a poem like a book about like, the process, right? Like challenging ourselves, throwing ourselves into writing daily and writing about your feelings and sharing it with your community it was really tender. I really love that we were able to make that space for a decade.

 

Matt McConkey  18:00

It’s amazing.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  18:01

The title grasping at this planet just to believe it’s the last line from one of my favorite poems.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  18:07

Oh, it’s my favorite.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  18:09

I was gonna ask you, why did you pick the title? Why was this out of all of the phrasing that you had? Like this, you know.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  18:17

Were you part of the pandemic where you were just buying rocks all the time because I got, I ventured into the crystal, the crystal side of the pandemic.

 

Matt McConkey  18:26

Like I probably got one on my desk that Kulap, gave me.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  18:29

There you go.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  18:30

It was,it was pre it was pre pandemic. Did I get more? Certainly, I’m like a dragon on a horde of crystals. So I was like this, I relate to this poem. Yeah, that was me. So I wrote I wrote the poem during the pandemic. I because I used to collect rocks when I was a kid. I’m sure you guys did this too. And then, like, now that I have like, adult money, I was like, Oh, my rocks are like, bigger and shinier now, and they’re all like, crystals. Anyways, the poem is about like, I think the older that I got so much of what I write about in this book is about being Muslim and being, like, grappling with this idea of belief. And, you know, I was raised in a very dogmatic version of Islam, but I started learning about these, like, more mystical and spiritual aspects of Islam so one of the things that I learned while I was going through, you know, just collecting knowledge was that the Prophet in Islam, he used to wear Carnelian ring on his finger, and that was called an aquik. And he used to wear the Carnelian ring to ground him to the planet, which now as a crystal. Collector you know that Carnelian is also like one of the stones that got like, really popular during the pandemic, because everyone was like.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  19:43

Oh, for health, right?

 

Tanzila Ahmed  19:44

Health, and like, mystical, like, grounding benefits. And I was like, well, look at that like, you know, in Islam, like, there’s like, also versions of, like, believing in crystals, having power. And, like, I didn’t know that growing up. So this whole poem is kind of about just, like, exploring that. You want me to read the poem?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  20:01

Yes, and I shall follow along.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  20:04

Oh, I’m not there, hold on.

 

Matt McConkey  20:10

Let me just hold up to the screen.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  20:12

It’s right there. Okay, Crystallized at night. I cuddle rocks when I sleep, Citrine and Tiger eye held to my belly to drive fear from gut. On my nightstand sits a purple Amethyst to keep insomnia at bay. Under my bed a cup of water to capture my bad dreams. Rose Quartz tumble to my feet when I take off, my bra held close to my heart to Unbreak it in my pockets Smoky Quartz to ground me in place. No matter where I travel on this earth, my fingers are ringed like the Beloved’s a kik a Sri Lankan Opal, a Nepalese aquamarine, a fortuitous Moonstone, a green agate to protect against negativity, a rock collection scratching at the surface in the cave of my chest, crystals grow from salt water, tears, belly full of rocks weighing me down. Clenched fists smash head to ground. Sometimes I’m grasping at this planet just to believe.

 

Matt McConkey  21:24

So beautiful. Thank you.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  21:26

I really love that.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  21:27

Oh, thank you.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  21:28

I love that. Before we get into your cart, how did writing this book strengthen or change your relationship to your faith?

 

Tanzila Ahmed  21:38

Oh, that’s a good question, too. I I don’t know, I think, like, this book is really just a collection of poems that I put together over 10 years. But I will say being in this writing group of like 70 Muslim, Muslim ish, Muslim adjacent people, just some people, not even Muslim, just like being in a space where we could write about not just faith. But like, you know, there was, like, a rise in Islamophobia in 2016 with the presidential election cycle, we kind of like experienced these waves of crisis, or, like, you know, backlash. I hate saying backlash to 911 because it’s been like, 20 years. But you know, these things where, like, Muslims are dehumanized. So as as poets, we’re all like writing about like an experience that happened that day, or like some like the when the the two women on the Portland Public transportation system, they were stabbed, this guy protected them. So when that incident happened, I think it was like 2017 all of us wrote poems that day about that experience. And I think being able to go through life and experiencing these incidences that happened to Muslim Americans, being able to write about it, and having this space that felt very safe to like share our feelings through words about it that was really special, cathartic, an amazing way to process. And I think that just helps secure my identity as a not just like a spiritual Muslim, but like a Muslim leader, a Muslim who had something to say about the political moment

 

Kulap Vilaysack  23:16

And in community.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  23:18

And in community. I think I want to in the good book, page 43 we must fight to make our traditions even when alone, even when society tells us, our people, like us, are worth less than the rest. So I grasp at Palm dates and shake trees until the dates are all mine, and I feel that also speaks to being, you know, I’m not sure what generation you are.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  23:44

I was born here America.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  23:46

My parents came from Bangladesh.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  23:47

Yeah, same that feeling of like not being enough, not Muslim enough, not, you know, for me, not Lao enough. But then also having this desire and want to figure out my own path, create my own traditions and to have that community. And that’s, I would you call that, that we make our own traditions a poem, or it’s, would you call that a poem? Or is it more of an short essay.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  24:13

Prose?

 

Kulap Vilaysack  24:14

Prose.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  24:15

Yeah, I had one. One year I was really into writing prose.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  24:18

I like that. I liked how it was, like, different and like, I because I love, I love, what’s behind this collection of writing so but I just really spoke to me Taz as well.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  24:28

No, yeah, I totally like, when you’re an immigrant in this country or not, or when I’m not an immigrant, but I come from immigrants, you just like, they’re like, just trying to your parents are just trying to figure it out. They don’t know how to, like, establish traditions for you. So one of my favorite stories about my Bengali community is that when they came to America, like, they would make tuna kebabs out of like, cans of tuna. And I was like, how did they learn to make tuna kebabs when they don’t have like, cans of Tuna in Bangladesh, they just have, like, straight up regular fish. They come here, and then they like, somehow learned how to make tuna kebabs out of cans of fish. Am I? And Auntie in the community, she said, when she came here, they like, walked into the like, cat food aisle, and they didn’t know it was for cats. And they just, like, got like, cans of like, like fish, and they saw the fish on it, and like, it was, like, afterwards they learned that was cat food and that, like, they’re supposed to get, like, the tuna cans. I was like, That is so funny. Like, it’s just, like, they didn’t know, and they were just trying to, like, find tuna fish on a shelf, and they saw a can, and they’re like, we’re gonna I was like, Oh my God, that’s like, our families.

 

Matt McConkey  25:38

It’s incredible. And I should say it’s so not surprising knowing cool app that that line in particular, I mean, that that that piece in particular, jumped out at her, because that’s been my experience of being cool ops friend. Is like that the importance of like, the traditions of her heritage that she honors and shares with her, Kulap community and with her other friends, but that she’s also often the person who is creating her own traditions that the rest of us just start to follow. It’s incredible, and one other thing I wanted to highlight.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  26:13

No, no, no, you’re right. No, you’re right, that I’m awesome.

 

Matt McConkey  26:18

That’s correct. Thank you for clarifying.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  26:23

What a jerk I am, but at a certain point you realize I had to, like, look around and go, oh, oh, I’m waiting for this like, white knight to, like, come and like and or an elder to tell me, give me permission. And it’s like, no, and quite frankly, in LA, I am the elder, so it’s like, Oh, I.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  26:48

Yeah, we’re aunties. Kulap, you have a baby, right? Like, aren’t you? And like, yeah.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  26:51

I do.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  26:52

Have to like, make traditions for like, your new baby.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  26:55

Yes, and they, they will, they will. They look different, look different.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  27:00

But I think they’ll be, they’ll be authentic to us.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  27:04

Absolutely.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  27:15

Let’s get into your cart. Oh my gosh, we have so many good things.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  27:19

Yeah, I over sent.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  27:22

I know, but there’s so much that I need to talk to you about, and Matt, like, if you see something that you’re like, we have to talk about it. Please call it out, but let’s start.

 

Matt McConkey  27:32

I mean, all of them, okay.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  27:34

Okay, let’s, let’s talk with the Vasanti Kajal waterline eyeliner.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  27:40

Yes, I love it. Go buy it. Actually, you can go to Costco and you can buy to it for, like, a discounted price. It’s like the only Vasanti brand makeup you can get at Costco.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  27:49

Well, that’s a hot tip.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  27:50

I have hooded lids, so whenever I wear eyeliner, it, like, kind of sticks to the top of my lid, which I hate. And then the other thing is, like, eyeliner always smears. So the gazel one, it doesn’t rub off, it doesn’t smear, you don’t look like a raccoon at the end of the day. And I got really obsessed with Gajal, because, like, it’s like, how our people in South Asia wear their eye makeup, they like line under their eyes. And I started doing all this research. And like, buying the actual gadget from South Asia is very toxic because they use carcinogens to make it. I don’t know what the process is. So like, with the Vasanti one, you know that, like, it’s like, clean also, because it’s, like, went through the American FDA process or whatever.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  28:37

Yeah, okay, that’s hot tip. SuChin’s upset that she’s a no about that. I won’t tell her, Matt.

 

Matt McConkey  28:43

Better listen, I think the thing I’m most interested in is just thrift stores. You’re obviously a thrifting queen, and it’s it’s just an area where I need to educate myself, especially like where to go thrift shopping in the LA area, like my secret shame Taz, it’s not that secret, because Kulap often puts me on blast. About it is, I do fast fashion shopping. I know that that I know you almost did a spit of your coffee when I said those dirty words.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  29:17

I’m a fast fashion person as a Bengali, like all my relatives in Bangladesh, like, own, like, fast fashion factory. So it’s definitely very complicated.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  29:26

Oh, wow. Okay, that’s a perspective. Okay, yeah.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  29:28

I also don’t have a lot of money, so, like, I rely on fast fashion because I can’t afford, like, the big investment pieces. But, you know, I don’t, I don’t shop thrift stores in a normal way. I like rescue items from the hands of white people. Like that is my that is why I’m going into the store. So if I see an item and it’s like, you know, like a gortha with like, embroidery, I’m like that. I can’t let a white person buy that. So then I’ll buy it, and I’ll rescue it.

 

Matt McConkey  30:00

Smart.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  30:01

I’ll go to, like, estate sales and like thrift stores that have, like, a little bit more like, are a little bit more like, orientalized or exotified. And I’ll, I’ll like, aim for that. Do you know where I went last week, I don’t know if you were following this, there was, like, a costume store up in Burbank that went out of business, the Valentino costume store. And it was like,

 

Kulap Vilaysack  30:22

Oh, I didn’t know this.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  30:23

It was all over, like, Instagram, which is how I learned about it. And so this costume store, like, like, decades of like items. And so I went last week to go buy things. But I definitely bought a turban that I needed to rescue from, you know, what was the best was like, the upstairs was like, where they had all the Christmas costumes. So there’s like Santa, and there’s also like.

 

Matt McConkey  30:49

Kulap just ran out of the house. She’s driving to Burbank.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  30:53

There’s lots of Christmas. There was, like, organically brought up, well, I love Christmas too. So there’s definitely bunny heads and duck heads. There was, like, cockroach costumes, I don’t know, man, it was like, my gosh, oh my god. Like, think like, like, la costumes, and they had a lot.

 

Matt McConkey  31:14

That’s awesome. What are your go tos if you’re just shopping for your own clothes and or, you know, rescuing stuff from white people.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  31:23

For rescuing I love going to the Rose Bowl. Um, but that’s out here in LA is, like, the third Sunday of every month is so good. They always, like, have the quirkiest things there. And it’s so big. I haven’t actually made it to the clothes area yet, because it’s, it’s, it’s just huge.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  31:41

It’s massive.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  31:42

I haven’t done it. And I love going to Palm Springs. I love Palm Springs because I think Palm Springs is like, where that era of, like, 19 like, like, the Orientalism stuff was really big, I think, like, in the 1950s 1960s so, like, if you do the math, they’re all, like dying in Palm Springs now, so they’re all in the thrift stores. So that’s where I’m going for all that stuff. So much fun.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  32:12

Yeah, yeah. Clothes mid cent.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  32:16

Clothes out. I go to the small random like thrift stores for clothes. But I will say goodwill is overpriced. Now, like, you can go to Goodwill, because it’s gotten so trendy you can go to Goodwill, but, like, everything’s, like, super overpriced. Like, the biggest obvious one is, like, I love going to crossroads and Buffalo Exchange. Those are the ones I go to. Like, very regular.

 

Matt McConkey  32:38

Do you ever go in and sell any of your own stuff to them?

 

Tanzila Ahmed  32:43

I try.

 

Matt McConkey  32:44

Oh, God.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  32:45

It’s they like, they don’t talk about shame.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  32:47

It hurts my feelings. It hurts my feelings. They’re like, no.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  32:52

You like, have to, like, build up your own ego before you go in. You’re like, Oh hey, they’re gonna be so mean to me. But I’m gonna try.

 

Matt McConkey  32:59

Some 21 year old is gonna sit there just shading me with every glance as they, you know, sift through my like old Zara clothes, and maybe they’ll find something to offer me 10 bucks.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  33:14

Or store credit, have you been to that fleas flea market up in Echo Park on the weekends? They’re selling like, T shirts that we wore in the 80s for like, $50 and it’s like bananas to me, because I’m like, how are these kids doing this? Because it’s a double, double whammy of shame.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  33:32

Yeah, I’m thinking about that you know, I’m thinking about that. It hurts my feelings, but I have to, I have to move past it, because the time is progressing.

 

Tanzila Ahmed  33:39

Time is progressing, and I’m gonna I have a closet full of stuff in my dad’s house where I’m gonna try to sell it back. I’m gonna try and make my money off those Gen Zs.

 

Kulap Vilaysack  33:51

You can find Taz on Instagram at @Tazzystar, and pick up grasping at this planet, just to believe wherever you get amazing quality books. Is there anything else you want to promote?

 

Tanzila Ahmed  34:02

That’s it. I’m I love this podcast. There’s so many things I want to add to the cart, but I’m happy we got to talk about the thrift stores.

 

CREDITS  34:16

There’s more Add To Cart with LemonadaPremium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content, like where we tell you about the last item we bought or returned and why subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Add To Cart is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producers are Kegan Zema and Tiffany Bouy. Brian Castillo is our engineer. Theme music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers or Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer, and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen at free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.