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All Podcasts Group Retail Therapy

Group Retail Therapy

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Description

It’s the holiday season and it’s nice! There are lit up hero trees, gift guides, incoming prezzies to wrap. But also, life doesn’t stop and sometimes life is hard. This week, Ku and Su share some of what they are facing in their families. Then they are joined by hosts from sister podcast Forever35, Kate Spencer and Doree Shafrir, for a much needed group retail therapy session. Then David Yi, co-founder of skincare line Good Light, brightens up the whole eppy during his Sidebar with SuChin.

Please note, Add To Cart contains mature themes and may not be appropriate for all listeners.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

David Yi, Doree Shafrir, Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Kate Spencer

SuChin Pak  00:10

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of ADD TO CART. Now here on the show, we like to talk about all the things we are buying, the stuff we’re buying into, what it says about who we are. I am one of your aunties. I’m Auntie Su.

Kulap Vilaysack

And I am either your auntie or your daddy, if you’re nasty, Kulap Vilaysack. We have a packed lineup for you today. First, we have the host of another great podcast about serums, just to give a minimum.

SuChin Pak

That’s the absolute minimum.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah, exactly. That is a lot though. Let’s, you know, I don’t want to downplay serums. And they’re important. But we also have another sidebar with SuChin with David Yi, from one of our favorite product lines, Good Light. But before all of that, so I’m here to remind everyone that we are still in the Holiday World, my friends.

SuChin Pak 

Yes, that’s right. And before we get into all of our amazing guests today, we wanted to take some time to talk about the holiday before Christmas, which is called Thanksgiving.

Kulap Vilaysack 

That’s right. And I have been preparing for that as well.

SuChin Pak 

I mean, I’m assuming you’re hosting?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Of course I’m hosting. When we have people over and this year we’re going to have my in laws. My sister-in-law Jamie, my sister Alyssa is visiting from Minnesota, and I spatchcock my turkey. And I use the nom nom paleo, what up Michelle, recipe to spatchcock by Turkey and that Turkey shall be split and roasted to perfection.

SuChin Pak

What is the Thanksgiving if not, two legs on a fine Turkey bird just splayed, splayed for the guest to wonder at her juiciness.

Kulap Vilaysack  02:07

Thank you. Thank you. I assume this year; Jules Bender shall be bringing just sides from gal sins.

SuChin Pak

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Gal sins. Is it […] got its, […], like, you know, there’s another grocery store that I have, that I am just kind of familiarizing myself with. We are going to be doing that. And this year is going to be a whopper.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Really?

SuChin Pak 

We got the Bender’s. And we also got the Pak’s, because as you know, my parents are in Santa Barbara. So it’ll be their first Thanksgiving with everyone. Now, have I been medicating? It is November 16, to prep for this dinner? Yeah, that will happen at 2:30 Thanksgiving day. I just thinking about it. Right now. My heart is racing. I have so much anxiety, it’s gonna be intense. And I’m going to be in the middle of it. And I’m probably going to have a migraine and I will be bringing all my crystals. It’s not that they don’t get along. There’s no tension. It’s just not my parents don’t speak English. They are not American. They don’t eat turkey. They don’t eat American food. The thing that trips me up is the bender tradition of like going around the table and everybody saying what they’re grateful for. Like my parents. He was like, what? What is this tomfoolery satanism? You know, like, I don’t believe in gratitude. That’s for another realm, the dark realm. Where is the Jesus in this holiday? And it’s just gonna be kind of that kind of stuff. And it’s going to be a lot of me speaking Korean to my mother, fighting really, with my mother in Korea and pretending that we are talking about something lovely and you know, grinning through it.

Kulap Vilaysack  04:20

My shoulders are so tight right now listening to you.

SuChin Pak 

I don’t know what it all is because I don’t care to delve deep into my psychological trauma. But there is something about you know, the immigrant child coming to America and always feeling left out. And you know, when I’m around my parents, I have to like, wrestle with that nine-year-old, you know, and I don’t have to protect them. There’s no threat. None. We’re totally fine. We’re just having Thanksgiving dinner.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I mean, get that cellunite wand out and twirly twirl.

SuChin Pak 

I’m looking forward to it.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Listening to you talk, you know, how excited are you that Sesame Street has a new cast member? Ji-Young.

SuChin Pak

No, girl, do not make me cry. Look it, tearing up.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Just a little, tell us about your […]

SuChin Pak 

I don’t want to talk about my feelings. No, I mean, I saw that. And I’m tearing up you guys. It just, I tear up at two things. Number one, I think about the nine-year-old immigrant girl, right? And then I tear up because I look at my kids. And I think, damn, are they gonna grow up in a world where they are really seen. So it’s tears of sadness. And it’s tears of joy, as both of those things, I mean..

Kulap Vilaysack  06:00

I think it’s amazing. I love it, so proud. That actually kind of transitions into something that I want to talk about something that has really put me in knots. And it’s something that happened to my nephew, Kai. Last week at school. Kai is a 11-year-old. That’s my boy. That’s my boo boo, right? You guys all remember what Middle School was, he’s in sixth grade. That’s when all of like the different you know, elementaries come together into to a middle school. To me when I look back at sixth and seventh grade. I think that’s a hellscape. So Kai, now is entering a brand-new school with a bunch of kids he doesn’t know. And so I hear on Monday, he is drinking, he’s getting.. Like he’s at a water fountain and a group of older boys come up to him. And they comment on the fact that he’s wearing all black. And they say, oh, look at this depressed emo kid, he’s probably going to bring a gun to school. And then a rumor starts going around school. So much so that a kid talked to their parent, that concern parent, emailed the principal. Because they had fear that perhaps my nephew would bring a gun to school.

Kulap Vilaysack

And the principal calls my sister’s home, speak to my brother-in-law, Paul, speaks to Kai, who is very upset, who is internalizing this, who I’m sure doesn’t understand. And then there’s a meeting with the principal top a Tuesday. Apparently, the principal’s like, of course, totally believes like that these rumors were unfounded. That said, there’s one move from this principal. I just was like, I don’t know if I fully agree with I mean, I haven’t sat mano a mano with him to talk about it, but is that he kept Kai in the office, Principal’s office that entire day, for his safety. And to me, I’m like, but the perception is when you’re at the principal’s office is that you’re in trouble. It makes me so angry and it makes me so like, also just like the, I know kids, and I know how they be but to kind of weaponize having feelings or connect that being emotional or to be sad or depressed or something negative and then to connect that with wearing essentially an all-black sweatsuit for my nephew to go through that and of course, him being out of the principal’s being in the principal’s office for that day. On Wednesday, the kids were like why are you in the principal’s office? And then I come to find out that the week prior, a kid that Kai thought was his friend decided for reasons unknown to Kai that he wanted to fight Kai, and in a Snapchat group called him a chink. And I’m like oh, yeah, Minnesota.

SuChin Pak  09:54

Oh, yeah, America.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah. Right. And it’s very, you know, kids don’t aren’t born like this. They don’t. They don’t, you know, we can make a direct line to their parents to these things like kids.

SuChin Pak  10:20

Yeah, we make them like that.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah. And so the piece about the incident at the fountain that was caught on camera. So I’m happy to hear that those kids parents have been notified, they are receiving some sort of form of punishment for their safety. We don’t know exactly what that is, I think for Kai’s peace of mind have to I think it would affect him in a negative way. He’s already somebody who does not like to tattle. In fact, he doesn’t, you know, my brother-in-law brought up to the principal, the incident where it was called a chink. And Kai just really wants, he just doesn’t want to go through that process of, you know, bringing that kid in into the office, the parents all of that he doesn’t want to go through it again. Of course. And also, it has been decided that he is going to transfer out of that school. He just wants to be done with it.

SuChin Pak 

Yeah, man, there’s no good answers in this scenario.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I feel I think the family we feel satisfied with how the principal ultimately handled things overall, you know, they, we really, we were uncertain for a while, but they’ve made it clear that, you know, they have no tolerance for this type of behavior. But that said, you know, yesterday, kids were calling them shooter. I think the adults just, we’re just our like, clock, you know, it’s like, you can’t stop kids from feeling pain and having to go through stuff. You know, we can’t stop that. But you know, I think about when I was in seventh grade, in […], and this kid told me to go back to my country, in front of my classmates and a substitute teacher. And I how I yelled at him. You know, I just think, Oh, man. For as much progress as support we’ve made, you know.

SuChin Pak  12:53

Yeah. I mean, the, the thing about it is all that stuff, you know, that those little moments that sit with us, and when we just talked about it as a 46-year-old woman, I’m afraid to bring my parents to Thanksgiving dinner with my family, because we carry that. And so when anyone dares to minimize or to interpret our experiences, our pain, any of it. I just, I can’t even see straight. It’s so enraging.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I just my sister and her brother and Paul, are such good parents, like they really are, and they’re handling this really well, I have to give props to my brother-in-law, who I just think is just the right combination of like, rage and wanting to protect Kai while doing what’s right for Kai. And you know, because I really like you, I was really pushing to like, get some sort of prepared of justice from the kids. I called him a chink, and it has everything to do with my experience. And it has everything to do with like, that piece, but Paul is really clear. And I totally understand with like, you know, Kai has agency. Where we step in, because we’re adults, and we want to teach lessons and you know, yeah, and, but he has his own agency and he should have that, right. And at the end of the day, stuff that I want to beat up children like I just want Kai to not feel like that the lesson here is kids will be kids, and you just have to take it. But you know, there were times where I was just like, I’m gonna fucking go viral. Because to me, Su. When I hear somebody comment on clothing and how that is a threat I hear, well, that’s a hoodie. And to me that too was very racial.

SuChin Pak  15:19

It’s heartbreaking. And it’s so deflating. Like, it just sucks the air out of you. It’s just, it’s like, I’m so tired of having these thoughts and to see these thoughts projected onto our kids, and, but you guys are all doing the right thing, which is your parenting, you’re addressing the adults in the room, because it’s not up to the kids to figure this out. It’s not his thing to carry.

Kulap Vilaysack

I mean, that’s all truly them. They just don’t want him to internalize this. You know?

SuChin Pak  16:01

It’s already done. Like, that’s not, I don’t even know if that that’s a battle worth fighting. Do you know what I mean? Because it’s just gonna lead to frustration. But, when you internalize something, you can also constantly change and evolve how you feel about it, depending on where you are. And who’s in your life. And it shouldn’t be painful. Because denying that part is invalidating. Right? His experience. I don’t know either.

SuChin Pak

All right. Well, let’s introduce our guests. Oh, my goodness. Will this podcast survive after this? Kindred spirits who loves serums, just as much as we do, if not more, dare I say even more, Ku?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Perhaps, if there was a sister podcast to ours, I think theirs might be the one. One of the hosts is a former BuzzFeed and Rolling Stone editor with two books out on the shelves. The other host published a memoir in 2017, and has a novel coming out next year. Together, they write the new age column in InStyle Magazine and hosts the amazing podcast Forever 35. Please welcome to add to cart Kate Spencer, and Doree Shafrir

Doree Shafrir 

That was quite an intro.

Kate Spencer 

That was very generous. That was, I mean, I’m tingling.

Kulap Vilaysack 

It was necessary. It was appropriate.

SuChin Pak  18:01

This is a podcast a year in the making, in terms of us coming together, but a lifetime of wanting and yearning. You know what I mean? I do feel that way I feel some past life energy. It’s just sister podcast is, is being very generous to us.

Kate Spencer 

Not to be too like, fan girly. But like I grew up seeing you on TV. So like, this feels like where I to travel back in time and be like, one day, there will be something called podcasts. And guess who you’re going to get to talk to? I would keel over. So this really is just generations and decades in the making sure.

SuChin Pak

It’s a lifetime, a lifetime to get us here.

Kulap Vilaysack 

We love to start and we’d love for you to kind of describe what type of shopper are you? And shopping? Yes, of course, it’s products, but also like ideas. You know, how do you consume?

Doree Shafrir 

Shall I start Kate?

Kate Spencer 

You go and I already know my answer.

Doree Shafrir 

I would say I’m a voracious vacuumer of information. Which, you know, I think extends over into shopping. I’ve definitely gone through phases in my life, where I’ve shopped every day, like it’s been a compulsion. And I would say I am an enthusiastic shopper. But I also try to be a mindful shopper like I’ve definitely in the last few years become much more aware of like, who I’m buying from, what I’m buying, how much I’m buying. And I try to, you know, use that as a guiding philosophy. Does it always work? No.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yep. Same

Doree Shafrir 

Did I buy six pairs of Ark underwear at the Ark sale this morning? Yes. It’s all a journey.

Kulap Vilaysack  20:06

We need underwear, though.

Doree Shafrir 

I mean, that’s the thing we need underwear and my underwear. Sorry, now we’re really going on off on a tangent. But like, my underwear is sad and like it’s been it’s so old that it’s been discontinued.

SuChin Pak 

my underwear is sad too, but not it’s still available. And only available in bulk my sadness can only be bought in bulk.

Kulap Vilaysack 

That’s right. Her underwear is by the yard.

Kate Spencer

I am an emotional shopper. And a lot of my shopping is fueled out of anxiety. So it’s how I self soothe a lot of the times. And it’s a lot of just like, I have a moment of panic, and then I need to instantly solve it. Otherwise, I’m afraid like the other shoe is going to drop and so internet shopping is made for me in not the best way. And I have personally especially in the pandemic, I’ve had a hard time you know, trying to limit my Amazon usage because that’s like, all the rage as a thing we should as socially conscious humans be doing right? But in reality, like if I’m being honest, I will panic Amazon shop or Target and I have the like shipped thing where you can have Target delivered to your house. It’s like a lot of that. It’s not great. I’m not I don’t feel good about it. And I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time dealing with my anxiety and other manifestations that I haven’t addressed like the way it comes out with shopping. So I’m excited to do that today.

SuChin Pak  22:10

Oh, did you think that we were going to, that we were going to..

Kate Spencer 

I’m excited to talk about things I don’t know. Indulge me please.

SuChin Pak 

I deeply relate to both types of shopping. And I wonder because all do the panic emotional shopping. But I want to ask this, I have been doing that in such a rage and such a darkness. And at such a rapid rate that I’ll wake up in the morning and have no memory of what I bought. And I have to go back into the app and see what I’ve purchased. You go into a fugue state, in a fugue state.

Kate Spencer 

I mean, doesn’t that seem like a trauma response to what we’re experiencing though? I’d like that’s what I like have to take a minute and I’m like, there’s a crisis going on. And this is one of the ways that I might be dealing with it.

Doree Shafrir 

I also do anxiety shopping but I think it manifests differently like I will become very fixated on getting one particular thing like let’s say in the before times like if I had an event to go to, I become obsessed with getting like the perfect dress. And it starts to like consume me and like nothing feels right. Nothing feels perfect. I spent days, weeks, going through every single store website and I never feel satisfied. So I don’t know what that is.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Wow, I mean, oh wow. I really feel seen. Kate, thank you for our new logline, which is Add to Cart, the trauma response to what we’re going through.

SuChin Pak 

And what an excuse you’ve given us.

Kate Spencer  24:02

In 2045 I’m going to be like this is a trauma response, COVID pandemic of 2020.

SuChin Pak 

This justification circle that we have found ourselves in.

Kulap Vilaysack  

Doree, I need to know about this. This purse organizer. I love organization. This is from Etsy, please, go ahead.

Doree Shafrir 

This is a Kate Spencer recommendation. So I must tip my cap to the one and only Kate Spencer. So a couple years ago I decided that because I’m also too [..]. I wanted a Goyard bag but I did not want to spend Goyard prices. So I bought one on Poshmark, now, it’s a great bag except it’s like completely unstructured. And over time I was like this bag is actually like not great to use on a practical level. And then Kate was like, oh, just get a bag organizer. And I was like, excuse me. So this person on Etsy makes bag organizers for all kinds of different bags. Like you basically just like choose the model of bag you have, whether it’s Goyard or some other brand. And it’s amazing. It’s like, it just goes right fits perfectly, because it’s made for that bag. It has several pockets; I find that it’s like somehow easier to carry the bag with the organizer in it. I don’t know if you found this as well, Kate, but it’s sort of like, I don’t know, balances things out.

SuChin Pak

Because it also creates a base if like your, yeah, one of those totes they don’t have or the base is kind of over time, sort of falling apart. So it gives it the bottom structure, I think which is easier to handle.

Doree Shafrir 

Exactly. This Etsy shop owner. I mean, she’s really thought of everything. And I bet if your bag is not listed, she could make it for you.

Kulap Vilaysack 

She’s called joy in bag and a star seller.

Doree Shafrir  26:02

And you can get it in all kinds of different colors. I chose one that match the interior of my bag, but you could get any color you want. So I’ve been very pleased with this purchase.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I mean, this is kind of, this is a game changer. Kate, I want to know more about this J.Crew Tie-waist Camp Pant

Kate Spencer 

Let me take you on a journey. About three weeks ago, I broke my hand. And it immediately changed what I could wear. Like it was, it’s so I had a huge splint on. I couldn’t grip anything. So it was very hard to pull on pants to button pants. And speaking of the panic induced fugue state, I was instantly like, I need clothes that I can comfortably put on that feel good that I can wear during this broken hand part of my life. And so I did something I hadn’t done in years, which is I went to jcrew.com. And they were having one of their epic sales were like, 30% to 50% off. And a few things were final sale, but I tried to buy things that were not. So I bought these pants that are loose fitting, they have a tie, they do also have a zipper, plus a hook and a button. So there’s a lot they do require. Yeah, I know. You know, I thought they were just tie waist and I was like this will be easy for the hand. And then there were like five different obstacles, but they’re still very easy to put on. They are so comfortable. And they’re like an elevated, like they took me up out of the sweat. But they’re not a tight, restrictive pants, right. They have like a casual coolness to them. And I’ve been wearing them every day. And then I have since ordered a couple other colors because I like them that much. That’s who I’ve become. But the price is really good. And they’re like, they’re also for those of us who are kind of having a hard time transitioning with the pant trends of the current time. They are a looser fit. But you’re not like adopting a 90s jeans style. It’s  like it’s that stockeys weird wide straight leg that it’s just so like 1994 like I can just see like TLC video pants and I love TLC.

SuChin Pak 

What?

Kulap Vilaysack 

But you don’t want to wear gencos?

Kate Spencer 

No, I did that already.

SuChin Pak 

You don’t want the heel of your pant dragging around, you know what I mean, how it used to get shredded on the back because

Kulap Vilaysack 

I remember.

Kate Spencer 

And when it rains, it would become like just a huge sponge. Yes. And I feel like you know what J.Crew like, I want to believe like I want them to remain icons. I know. And you know, I don’t know why I’m rooting for a brand. But for some reason, they’re like my underdog. I’m hoping they’re getting back to their like roots of just you know, solid wasp clothes.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Let’s remove some things from cart. I love when our guests bring things that they want to remove, and Doree?

Doree Shafrir 

The goal is to remove FOMO from my cart. And I feel like this is something I’ve been struggling with, like my whole life. And the pandemic was actually a really good reset in this regard because I had no FOMO because there was nothing to have FOMO about and so now as we’re kind of emerging out of the pandemic, I’m really trying to just keep that feeling that I had during the pandemic of just living my life and living the life that I want to live, doing the things that I want to do not because I’m like, oh, was there some cool dinner that I wasn’t invited to? And like being sad about it, like, who has time for that? Life is too short.

Kulap Vilaysack  30:30

And I want to be invited. And I want to decline. And that’s hard to, you know, convey on social media.

Doree Shafrir

Well, and you know, I mean, this, that it’s funny you say that, because that is something that my husband has accused me of, alot of, he’s like, you don’t actually want to go, you just want to be invited. Yeah, but the thing is, like, you know, I acknowledge that, if people are constantly inviting you to things that you are always declining, like, eventually, they will stop inviting you and I think I want to be okay with that. Like, I think in the past, I’ve accepted invitations out of obligation, or, you know, felt like I needed to do things. And now I just I want to just think about what really makes me happy and what brings me joy and the people that I truly want to be around.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I mean, that’s amazing. SuChin, you live in that state, you’re a hermit. A curmudgeon? Yes. Had to be pulled out of the cave.

SuChin Pak

For sure. But recovering FOMO addict. That’s why I think a lot of it has to do with that just the like the years and years of chasing that thing. And then getting there and like not wanting to be there and then hating myself, I’ve just cut it out completely right, like cold turkey. I just know that I’m not able to in this moment in time figure out like why I’m that way.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Kate, I really want to talk about what you’re removing from cart, because it’s something that I am thinking about. And for you. It’s the idea that there’s one right way to do body positivity and body neutrality.

SuChin Pak  32:13

What does that? Explain?

Kate Spencer 

So I have been on like, a years, many years long journey to kind of work on healing, my disordered eating and my relationship to my physical body and by body image and my self-esteem. And I found what I was doing in the same way that I once put pressure on myself to look a certain way, have my body look a certain way, those sorts of things. I was then putting pressure on myself to not do those things in the right way. It also started to become kind of performative. And I was obsessing about like, how I’m rejecting diet culture, am I rejecting it in the acceptable way is it I don’t know if I’m able to even articulate it. But this is something that has really been weighing on me, which is like, in the way that I heal my relationship with my body and can end which is never going to end. Like that’s an ongoing process that has, you know, dips and highs, it’s not going to look like it looks for other people. And because we’re so exposed to these things. And I think oftentimes, it’s suggested, like follow a lot of, you know, anti-diet culture or body positive people on Instagram, which has been very helpful. And I followed a lot of like, health at every size, dietitians and nutritionists and that sort of thing. But I also then start to worry that I’m quote, not doing that right, either. And I have had to kind of realize, and become secure in the fact that my relationship to my body is my own, and how I experience what it means, like what, you know, radical self-love, and all these things mean, or even just neutrality with my body. It’s going to be unique to me, and I can’t worry about whether or not it looks like how other people are doing it.

Kulap Vilaysack  34:10

I actually am not familiar with body neutrality. I’m not even saying it right. Like for me in the past, and I’ve struggled with body image as well. Is that what I would do, it’s either, like, kind of high, low confidence. And is it just kind of just what is that?

Kate Spencer 

I think it’s the idea. And I again, I’m not an expert, and I could be paraphrasing this incorrectly. But the way I interpret it is that you know, body positivity means like, I love my body at any size. And this is great. And I think neutrality is more just kind of acceptance of like, this is how I am I don’t have to feel super positive about it. But I’m also not going to spiral down into negativity. I’m essentially coexisting. I don’t want to make it sound like disassociating because I think you still want to be able to kind of have a relationship with your physical form. But I think it’s really more of just acceptance and not trying to label it either positive or negative, if that makes sense. And I’m still navigating like how the eff do I do any of that? It’s never consistent on a day-to-day basis. My feelings are varied. But also accepting that has been part of it.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I think as we, but as we get older, you know, it’s like, I just don’t want to be at war with myself. Like, I just we have to deal with so much. It’s like, I can’t take you know me on. All I do is take me on, but like, it’s just so exhausting. I don’t want to do it anymore.

Kate Spencer  36:03

It is. And then, you know, on the other hand, I was listening to an episode of, I think, other sister podcast, the deep dive. And one thing that June and Jessica were talking about was, like, the way Generation Z has really approaches acceptance and body image and how they feel about themselves is so amazing. But it might not be within reach for our generation, because we just did not grow up with a lot of the messaging that is now currently out there. And it’s still hard as you know, it’s still a nightmare. But we’re on a different journey up here in our 40s in 2020.

SuChin Pak 

Well. It’s a vibe. It’s just.

Kate Spencer 

We’ve got a different vibe.

SuChin Pak 

Totally different vibe.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah. It’s about 6PM dinners.

SuChin Pak

I was like, Kulap’s house, I had a sleepover. And when she said that steak dinner down in the sun was high.

Kate Spencer 

Oh my god, a full stranger is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Right?

SuChin Pak 

Get out the SPF. It’s time for dinner outside.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Ladies, thank you so much for joining us. What was I doing? I was ending it without, I need the people to know. I need your social handles. I need titles of your books. I need give it to us, please.

Kate Spencer 

This is Kate. My memoir is called the Dead Moms club. You can find it anywhere. I have a new book coming out in March 2022 called In The New York Minute that is a romantic comedy and not a sad memoir. And I’m on Instagram at @KateSpencer.

Doree Shafrir

And my books are startup, a novel and my memoir is called Thanks For Waiting. And it came out in June and my Instagram is just @Doree. Twitter is @Doree and you can listen to Forever 35 wherever you get your podcasts.

Kulap Vilaysack  38:15

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SuChin Pak

All right, kittens. I’m so excited to sit down today with the co-founder of the gender inclusive beauty brand, Good Light. This has been one of my as you know go to Staples skincare lines this past year. Plus his gorgeous book pretty boys, by the way would make a great holiday gift is the first and only history of men mask identifying people and their relationship to beauty and masculinity. Okay, and it’s cute. It’s got pretty little illustrations. It has how to’s, you guys, it’s a recipe for beautiful skin but also learn something, you know, I’ve talked about all this on the show before my guest today is a Glaad Award nominee and Webby Award nominee and one of Logos 2021’s 30. Please welcome, David Yi.

SuChin Pak

Now, I don’t often sing a person’s name, but we’re not going to get into it. But let’s just say David is not unfamiliar with the Kpop world and so I had to do a little musical intro. David and I have known each other through many lifetimes. We knew each other when he was just a do we faced a last from a small town in the big city of New York. And he reached out to me just cold called and I don’t know we’ve been friends and supporters ever since. Now, that’s not why we’re sitting here because I have lots of friends who do lots of things that I’m not doing sidebars with. It’s a very simple right now skincare line. It’s just the basics. It’s all you need, if you don’t want to fuss with 20 steps, and you don’t want to try to figure out what goes on top of what and what is fighting what and why your skin is reacting. This is such a clear simple routine that anyone can use. So David, take it away I wanted let’s go through it from like cleanser to toner to serum.

David Yi  40:41

Good Light is a gender inclusive beauty brand. And we don’t say genderless because I feel like genderless is a little dated. But when I was going into this brand, I was thinking about young consumers and folks who perhaps have never been seen in the beauty industry. And for me it was so important as a Korean American person to really shine a light on all people because I felt invisible and I’ve never felt beautiful I’ve never felt considered and so good light is about shining your light stepping into that light and being celebrated for who you are. The products are all vegan, they’re cruelty free. They’re made in Korea. So the first is the cosmic do water cleanser which I’ll show you. I know you’re not supposed to have a favorite child SuChin and you’re mother but I think all parents kind of have a favorite child. My right now is the cosmic do water cleanser. This is just the celestial delicious formula. It has laminaria japonica seaweed which is the most hydrating of seaweed species. It has hyaluronic acid Beta-glucan, it has red root grom well, it is something that I feel like just moisturizes your skin you know so many times like a gel to foam experience. It strips your skin of its natural oils. This one actually plumps your skin with hydration. I’ve never come across a foam experience like this. It emulsify so quickly but my favorite part is that it washes off your face just as fast.  Our second product the Moonglow milky toning lotion.

SuChin Pak  42:07

Well, that’s my favorite baby.

David Yi

And this to me is like a dreamy formula. It has meadowfoam seed oil which is a nurturing oil that kind of mimics same consistency as your natural sebum it has a coronal extract which gives it that nice creamy you know milky consistency. It has a mushroom called snow mushroom extract and that’s snow mushroom extract. It was used for 1000s of years like in places in China, it was a delicacy where concubines were actually big consumers of eating snow mushroom extract to get that plump skin for you know the Emperor and it also has hyaluronic acid, niacinamide ceramides. And these are just going to really, I mean they’re wonder products for your skin.

SuChin Pak 

I think for those that aren’t familiar with kind of this milky toner, skin milk sometimes people call it it’s a very Asian type of product, right? I think people are confused on how to use it. And so how I use it is you just as much as you can get out of the bottle, you know that you can hold in the palm of your hand. And it’s almost like you’re doing a second wash. Do you know what I mean? Like you have to have enough of it. Where it really drenched is your skin. It’s thin for a reason because it absorbs into your skin instantaneously.

David Yi 

I’m sold, I mean I feel like you know this product inside and out and better than me.

SuChin Pak

The reason why I sort of want to pause at this one is because I think it is very different than any other type of even product out there. Especially in non-Asian brands. I think people may be confused so I want to make sure people are using it correctly. Okay, so because you need this because it’s science you don’t have to know the science just know that it’s prepping your skin. Yeah, it’s getting it ready for the next product which is flip flop between these two being my babies.

David Yi  44:02

So you love we come in peace probiotics serum. So ours is a probiotic lysate and extract. And for this I mean this serum just cools your skin of anti-inflammation. I mean, it is something with blue tansy, which is a nice oil that just cools the skin that has what I love carrot seed oil, which is proven to be a natural antiseptic, Moringa seed oil, which is a drenching of hydration for that skin. I knew that this was a great product for anti-inflammation. And this is a product that is going to really allow your skin to recalibrate. We call it we come in peace because I almost feel like it’s coming to your microbiome which is your face or your body but your face is microbiome and regulating it you know kind of the deficiencies or the havoc or whatever you’re going through and it just wants that peace for your pores.

SuChin Pak 

Something about the blue tansy, and I think the carrot seed, give it a moisturizing barrier that you don’t necessarily need. Another moisturizer on top of it. I don’t know what blue tansy is but the smell of blue tansy. It’s something it triggers something in my brain that makes me so relaxed and happy.

David Yi 

That’s why I needed blue tansy in this formula, because for me, I’m like blue tansy is what helps with my inflammation when I have inflamed skin, blue, tansy is this plant that is very, it’s a precious plant. And because it’s become so popular, people have over harvested it, this poor plant, this harvested in India, and we have the paperwork to show and to prove that we’re harvesting in a sustainable way. And this was essential to me, I was like, if we’re going to be a sustainable brand, we need to also think about the sustainability of a plant or a flower or what have you. And so our factory located in a farm in India, and they’re sustainably harvesting. And I love that oil.

SuChin Pak  46:06

Well, listen, I mean, you guys were totally geeking out on the skincare line for a reason. And this is what sidebar is because this is where I get to geek out. And you may be wondering, you know what happens when a journalist and an activist makes a skincare line. This is what happens. This man does his research. He’s not gonna get caught out there, you know, saying something that he hasn’t researched. I mean, this is you know, I’ve known you for so many years. You walk the walk, and you always have and you’re fearless with it. We talked about Korean rage, which is called Krage. We had a phone call yesterday we just screamed, Krage. For good 22 seconds.

David Yi 

It was just like our ancestors were shouting and celebrating. And they’re like, yes, we hear you child. Now pipe it down, we’re going back to sleep.

SuChin Pak 

I love you, David. I’m so proud of you. And I love that you made something really good. And I am so relieved for everyone. Including myself. Yeah, but honestly, this is just the beginning. You know, for you?

David Yi 

Thank you so much sister Sue chin and obviously you know the story of how I even became a journalist because I looked up to you. And I saw that there is representation and that what’s possible for a Korean person in America and you were that shining star you are the blueprint and you have inspired so many people, so thank you.

SuChin Pak 

See? This is why keep them around. You know what I mean? All right. I love you until my next voice memo. I’ll talk to you soon. Alright, that’s it. Man, Ku, I you know, there are times when we sit and we just do a muffin top. You know, we just kind of cut off the best parts and we just have a muffin top episode. This one had the full sheet cake.

Kulap Vilaysack  48:19

Delicious and affordable. You know what? Tell us what you’re buying at Casa 833-453-6662, let us know your Add to Cart and follow us at @AddToCartPod. Bye.

CREDITS

ADD TO CART is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producer is Claire Jones and our mix is by Ivan Kuraev and Veronica Rodriguez. The music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers are Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Also, please take a moment to rate, review, and subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcast.

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