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Today is about kicking the patriarchy’s ass. We’re talking about how financial education is a form of protest and actually the best way to empower women to get their [Fendi] bag. Simply put, if you have more money, you have more options: leave a bad relationship, get a sweet apartment or pursue the things that actually make you happy. But what’s the key to making more dough? Tori Dunlap, aka The Financial Feminist, has tips on making more money at work and figuring how to prioritize your spending. Listen up, because Tori Dunlap saved her first $100,000 by age 25! And now she’s on a mission to help y’all master your money.

This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures, an early-stage global investment firm backing mission-driven entrepreneurs and industry influencers working toward a fair finance system for all. Learn more at flourishventures.com.

Follow our guest Tori Dunlap https://www.instagram.com/herfirst100k

Follow X Mayo https://www.instagram.com/80dollarsandasuitcase/

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Tori, X Mayo

X Mayo  01:33

Welcome back to The Dough, a podcast about the women on the front lines fighting for your right to buy whatever the fuck you want. Because y’all know I’m a fly girl. You know what Missy said, if you’re a fly girl, get your nails done, get a pedicure, get your hair deep. Yes, shout out to Missy. Okay, y’all no, Siri, let’s get serious. Why does society make women feel so bad for the things we decide to spend our money on? I mean, really, it’s my money, I should be able to order my damn matchachata every day without a man in my ear telling me that I won’t ever go on a nice vacation or afford to buy a house. You hear that? Dave Ramsey, okay, but I do like his cousin Gordon. I like that show. That’s weird. I like that show. But today is about kicking the patriarchy’s ass. We’re talking about how financial education is a form of protest, and actually the best way to empower women to get their bag and we talking. Fendi, okay, if that’s your choice, because if you want to just get coached, that’s cute, too. And here to help us do it is money expert Tori Dunlap. Tori has always been a hustler, but she’s not on the endless grind society pushes where we work until we die. No,Tori has always been focused on making the most out of her money. I mean, the girl started a vending machine business at nine years old. Excuse me, that is iconic work. I was trying to get tickets to Oprah’s Favorite Things at nine years old. I was like, Oh my God. I think I can get my mom my house. I thought she was like, under your chair. There’s a house. You get a house, you get a house. So clearly, I didn’t get chosen okay, I don’t have a house, okay, but I love my apartment. Thank you. But Tori was stealing candy and counting quarters to contribute to her college fund, okay? And by the age of 25 she had saved $100,000 you guys, okay? I know, yeah, don’t crash your car. 25 $100,000 that is so impressive. That’s when she decided to start her financial education company called her first 100k which has taught over 5 million women how to save, invest and eliminate debt in 2022 Tori released a New York Times best selling book called financial feminist, and she has a podcast with the same name, Toril, welcome to The Dough.

 

Tori  03:47

It’s good to see you.

 

X Mayo  03:48

Yes okay, Tori, so here at The Dough, we like to start with asking guests where their money went this week. So I know you’re all about being mindful with your money. Very mindful, very demure.

 

Tori  03:58

Very demure.

 

X Mayo  03:59

Yes, what’s the purchase that brought you joy this past week?

 

Tori  04:02

Oh, I just bought an ice cream Yesterday, and there’s a shop in Seattle. I will shamelessly plug them. They’re vegan ice cream. It’s called Frankie and Joe’s. They take so much of my goddamn money, but I they have two seasonal flavors. It was like a cardamom apple and a miso flavor, which was so good, and this shit with a waffle cone was $15 plus the width tip. It was an insane amount of money, but they’re so good. And yeah, I did walk out of there being like, ice cream should not cost this much, but also it was incredibly worth it. So yeah, that’s what I spent my money on yesterday,

 

X Mayo  04:40

Okay, and on behalf of America, we support you.

 

Tori  04:44

I appreciate it. Thank you.

 

X Mayo  04:45

Yes, I have to say, though, Tori, I love like your financial feminist movement that you’ve created, I think it’s empowering. I think it’s gorgeous. I think it’s wonderful, like I’m on board, I’ve signed up, I’m here, I’m ready to go, and I think you are. So good at having such nuanced conversations, and you recognize your own privilege, which is why I think so many women trust you and come to you specifically for advice. Because, you know, like we came up under the Dave Ramsey’s, the Susie ormans and stuff on TV, but all they did was tell me, we’re like, hey, ex girl, you never be rich. You get a matcha latte every day. So it’s never gonna happen for you. And I think we’ve been waiting for, like, a single ladies money disruptor like yourself to come in and change the game. When did you know that you had a knack as the money whisperer?

 

Tori  05:29

Oh, I think that for me, I was lucky enough and privileged enough to grow up in a family that was talking about money in a way that was accessible, and I had a financial education growing up. That’s a huge part of my story. And because I didn’t know any better, I thought that was normal. I thought everybody knows how to not overspend on credit cards and everybody knows how to save money. And of course, that’s not the case, but that was my lived experience, so that’s what I thought everybody had. And then I got to college, and I started having conversations with, you know, my roommates and girls who lived down the hall and was realizing like, oh, okay, I know more about money than the average person. And I realized that that privilege of a financial education meant I had a responsibility to educate women about money. And I think that that started very young. I was, you know, I opened up my first savings account when I was nine, I was.

 

X Mayo  06:20

I’m sorry, Tori, I’m gonna stop you there. Okay, you literally have ruined me for my mother. She’s never gonna think that I’m an actual success, so that she listens to this fucking podcast. She gonna be like me, Tori had a savings account at nine, and you were bopping around, like, if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friend.

 

Tori  06:39

What is that? I was doing that shit too. I had great childhood, like I had, you know, but it was also, yeah, I had a savings account, and that was important to me. I understood the importance of saving. I understood that, you know, we couldn’t buy everything we wanted. And I also had, and this was so important. I had parents who didn’t just talk about saving money. They actually did it, like I saw them do it. I saw them make really strategic decisions. We didn’t go out to eat a lot growing up, but we went on a family vacation at least once every year, like and that was that was really important, and it’s a lot of what I talk about in my work now, which is like, value based spending. I don’t need you to stop spending money. I don’t need you to say, you know, okay, I’m going to go on a spending diet, because 99% of diets don’t work. It’s more about, how do I spend my hard earned money on the things that I actually love and the things that I actually care about and the things that are going to make memories? And so I saw that growing up, and again, he massive privilege that I didn’t know I had. And then with that privilege came responsibility. But, you know, I know your background I have, I have the degree in theater, like that was, the plan was to like, I had a degree in marketing, basically, and a degree in theater, and I wanted to pursue theater professionally, but thought I can’t. I don’t want the instability of that. And so I was like, what’s the second best thing? Well, marketing is like storytelling, but I can get paid better, and I get health benefits. So that’s what I started doing in my nine to five and then with my understanding that when I had money, I had options and choices and freedom, and when I didn’t have money, or when other friends around me, especially women, women of color, queer women, didn’t have that money, they couldn’t leave that toxic situation. They couldn’t start their own business, they couldn’t leave. And so that’s for me, where everything kind of clicked into place of like, oh, I think this is how we bridge the inequality gap is we get more money into more women’s hands.

 

X Mayo  08:24

Okay, but here’s the thing Tori, I would like to say, shout out to your family. Shout out to your village and your mom and dad, because there are not many people that recognize their own privilege and take that as a community based approach. A lot of people are very individualistic, which I think our fucking country promotes, but to like I got mine, you go get yours, and I did what I did and I got mine. So why can’t you get yours when, literally, we all have different privileges. It’s not an even playing field for everyone. So that’s very admirable. I appreciate for you to be so young, and you would think living Young, Wild and Free, figuring out how you can just get your ass to Bali to you know, pop your pussy one time on a handstand. And Tori said, No, we all should be popping our pussies.

 

Tori  09:10

Is you gotta pop your own pussy before you pop others, right? Like you like you have to put your own oxygen mask on first before you help others and like, but that’s orange. Shut the fuck up. That’s the thing, though. And I would actually love to talk to you about this. I mean, I don’t mean to come and do this interview really quick, but it looks actually really interesting, because I think especially for you know, women of color, women in general, it’s like, how can you be as selfless as possible? And I talk about this in my book financial feminists, like, we literally were told, like the toys we were given, stereotypically, and I’m going to use the gender binary for a second, because it’s easier to explain this, but like, boys were given trucks and Legos and like things to build, right? And they’re told that their value to society is in their own ingenuity and is in their own critical thinking and is in their own like sprung. Kindness in terms of what they’re building, what are girls given? Stereotypically, dolls, easy, big ovens they give. They’re told, like we’re told, before we even have, like, any sort of consciousness, that our value is in how giving we are to somebody else, like we give a two year old child, another child to take care of. Like, that’s crazy to me that nuts.

 

X Mayo  10:22

And when I tell you a serious toy as Don’t you touch my PJ Sparkle, my character, I’m like Mom, I’m burping her like it was, and I’m four, so serious, it was crazy.

 

Tori  10:34

And it would be less of a deal if we also told boys and taught boys how to be nurturing and caring and selfless, but we don’t. And then the funny thing that happens is, as we grow up, we’re putting everybody else in front of ourselves to our own detriment, and then we feel bad for pursuing money because we think it’s greedy, or Gauci because we met a shitty rich person once, or we see the wealth disparity and we’re like, I don’t want to participate. I don’t want to be part of that. But here’s the deal. Like, money doesn’t have value. It is morally neutral. What you do with the money is where the morality kicks in, plenty of shitty of rich people. There’s plenty of actually pretty good rich people who are trying to do really good things. And I think that I just would love your perspective on this, because I do think we constantly prioritize everybody else above ourselves, and especially above our own money, but it just keeps us broke, it keeps us unsafe, it keeps us unhealthy. And then when we have the audacity to pursue money and be selfish, maybe once, the patriarchy panics, because it realizes we’re no longer controllable, and then goes, oh shit, I’m going to make her think it’s greedy. I’m going to tell her that talking about money is impolite, so that she feels small and uncomfortable.

 

X Mayo  11:45

Well, I think the way that I combated that is based on who my brain trust is, the women that I have around me. I think I grew up going to a church where it was poor class, but a lot of upper and middle class that lives in different like affluent black areas here in LA, and I saw women that were about their shit, you know, these women in the church, they were like, listen, I know what certain people are telling you. And I know you feel like you have to get married, go get your money. And I think having a mother that, although I did have Barbie dolls, I did play, you know, I did have an easy bake oven. And honestly, best, best Dan Brown as you ever have, okay.

 

Tori  12:21

Truly, and I think you know whether this we’re talking about, you know, having children or not, I think that there is this just such a pressure on women to, you know, build up your coworker before you build up yourself to take care of your partner before you take care of yourself. To, you know, it’s the same thing with money, like we feel sometimes like we have to, if we have a little bit of extra money, we have to give it away, right? And it’s like, I think that that is the tax we pay as women that actually keeps us playing small. And I don’t mean we shouldn’t donate. I’m not out here saying, like, hoard all your money. That’s because it’s opposite of what I’m saying. But if you’re in debt, if you don’t feel financially secure, if you’re not protecting your own retirement, if you’re not protecting yourself and future you like, I can’t have you focused on everybody else around you, because that only hurts yourself. Only when you’re full and stable and content and well fed. Can you then go out and, you know, give of yourself. And I started and ended my book with a quote that I just, I think, sums it all up, which is, when you have all you need, build a longer table, not a higher fence, but the have all you need. Part is crucial there. So like our when we are good, then we stop hoarding information. We stop hoarding wealth. We stop hoarding connections and network. We build that longer table, as opposed to a higher offense.

 

X Mayo  16:29

I’m so happy that you got into your book, because that was my next section. I want to talk about Tori’s book, financial feminist overcoming the patriarchy bullshit, to master your money and build a life you love. So everybody just pause the pod right now and go buy the book and then come back. Okay, great. So I love the idea of saying, fuck the patriarchy. It just feels good now it just rolls off my tongue and taking charge of your own financial destiny. So, Tori, can you tell me about why you believe financial education is a form of protest?

 

Tori  16:58

Oh, we can spend three hours just talking about this. Okay, here’s the deal, that is, that is the quote that’s like, one of our big taglines of financial education is a woman’s best form of protest, because, like I was saying before, when you have money, you have options. When you have money, you will never have to stay in an unsafe relationship, in a toxic job. You will have the opportunity to donate to causes you believe in, and to travel and to go to therapy and to start a business, and to have all the flexibility open up to you and nothing bad happens when women have more money, so you get to be the fullest, best, baddest version of yourself when you have money, when you have flexibility, when you have choices, when you have the ability to leave like I don’t ever have to say yes again. I don’t ever have to say no again if I don’t want to, because I have financial stability and financial flexibility, and that is the feeling I want for every single woman on this planet.

 

X Mayo  17:55

Speaking of that, what’s the biggest myth that do you think we are told as women about money.

 

Tori  18:00

Oh, I actually go through them in the book. Almost every chapter we start with, like, the myths around that certain thing. So, yeah, I talk about some of the narratives there that are most common. Money is taboo. Don’t talk about it, right? Talking about money is Gauci. That’s the big one. My other narrative that we talk about in the spending chapter, we have chapters about, like, goal setting. We have chapters about debt and investing and how to earn money. But in the spending chapter, we have one that is always one of my favorite things to talk about, which is, you know, the the whole reason you’re not rich, right? Is you buy too many lattes or insert thing here, right? The avocado toast was the thing like a couple years ago. You notice that spending that gets labeled as frivolous, right? Oh, it’s frivolous spending, and that’s why you’re not getting ahead. Frivolous spending is only things that are stereotypically feminine. It’s lattes, it’s manicures, it’s blowouts at the salon, it’s shoes, it’s bags, it’s not NFL season tickets.

 

X Mayo  18:57

Wait a minute.

 

Tori  18:58

It’s not […]

 

X Mayo  19:01

It’s not that beer hat. You know how they put that beer? You know?

 

Tori  19:04

It’s not video games.

 

X Mayo  19:06

Wow.

 

Tori  19:07

And the advice we’re giving still and you know, 2024, 2025, the advice we’re still giving to men, is good advice. It is expand. It’s make more money, negotiate, invest, invest in real estate, start a business. Right? When you Google financial advice for men, that’s what comes up. What is the financial advice for women? Scrimp, save, hate your life, cut things right. And not only is that bad advice, there’s only so many things you can cut right, but also it makes you hate your life, and it’s like not realistic, and it’s not actually helpful, but also that is part of the patriarchy. This whole thing here is, how do we deprive them of every little drop of joy and tell them that the reason they’re not rich is because they bought a purse one time, and convince them that they are their own worst enemy, as opposed to. Oh, maybe I can educate myself, or seek out educational resources that are going to teach me these other things. Or maybe it’s just all of these systemic barriers that are keeping me from actually building wealth.

 

X Mayo  20:11

Also, the fact of how, even when I entertain the idea, when I was considering buying a house, I do not want a house now, but even when I was talking about it, everybody was just like, X but you know, you got to get married. It’s not, you know, it’s going to be harder for you. You got to get married. And I was just like, whoa like I.

 

Tori  20:26

That’s not prerequisite.

 

X Mayo  20:27

Girl Tori, they act like it was available, like, task grabbing, like I’m supposed to go to on some app and give me a husband. But like, Okay, listen, they act like it was, like, an additional special skill.

 

Tori  20:38

And I’m gonna split the ownership of this house with a man?

 

X Mayo  20:42

It was just crazy. Now I know that that, and that’s the thing. I know that that isn’t 100% to be true, but I know so many women that were like, X, I hate to tell you, but it once I got with someone, it was way easier. Now these are partners that they love, they adore, they found their person, but it’s still just like, I was just like, what the fuck?

 

Tori  21:01

That’s not an accident. Like, there’s tax breaks when you get married, right? There’s flexibility. You can split everything in half. Like, yeah, the American financial system is not built for anybody other than a cisgendered hetero couple, with their, you know, one and a half, two kids.

 

X Mayo  21:21

Because I was gonna say, I know queer people, same sex, loving, you know, men identifying people, women identifying people. And it was not that easy. Many questions, what are you doing in here? As if, like they were, I was like, you guys think they’re starting to cult. They’re infiltrating. Yeah, they’ve gotten past the gate who wasn’t on their guard, who was another position? Yeah, every producer I know, so that I was so happy to hear you talk about this and get into this topic, especially with this book, because I’m just like, Yeah, I think that there’s more women, especially now, like Millennials on down. You know, there’s the whole dink even, and now there’s another one that made it, called sink. If you’re single income, no kids, and it’s just like, there’s more of us. Now that I’m having more and more conversations, we’re just like, oh yeah. We recognize that we can travel. There’s more choices that we can make. If I want to figure out how to fucking live on Mars right now, I could. I don’t have, you know, any children. And I think, like, I would love to talk to you about what you think the biggest financial hurdle that you see women facing today, when it comes to money.

 

Tori  22:24

I mean systemic barriers aside, which is the biggest one, but, you know, there’s less immediate solutions for that as individuals, besides voting and, you know, supporting policy changes and that sort of thing, which please do, by the way, when we’re talking about like, you Know, the struggle that women face. I think that so much of these narratives seep into our everyday life and our everyday relationship with money. So the shame, I think, is so big, like the money shame, fear and anxiety that women feel that is the biggest thing I see again, and it shows up in I feel bad about wanting money, or I can’t pursue money for this reason, or I have debt and it makes me a bad person. Or I can just, you know, I’ll just focus and put my head down, and people will notice me. I’m not going to ask for a raise, right? Or I’m not going to switch jobs, because there’s nothing better out there. All of these narratives, they’re all about the shame that you feel and the lack of worthiness, really, that that you feel around the opportunities and the money and the love and the respect and all of those things. And I think this is why I talk about money, not as a like a niche topic. People want to tell me that personal finance is a niche personal finance. Money affects every single part of your life. You want to go to therapy, you need money. Do you want to have kids? You need money. You want to buy a house. You need money. You want to again quit that job. You need money. You want to just have go on a nice vacation. You need money. You want to be a bridesmaid at a wedding. God damn, you need money. Like there’s so many things about our health and our well being and our entire lives that have everything to do with again, whether we have money or not, yet, the number one feeling people have about money, it’s not joy, it’s not ease, it’s not stability, it is shame and fear and anxiety and wondering. You know, even if they do have enough money, is this money all going to evaporate? We actually just pulled our audience. We have, you know, 5 million followers total. We have 2 million on Instagram, and we just pulled them in our stories the other day, and we asked them, like their biggest financial fear and 1000s of responses over and over. It’s not having enough money or losing what I have, like that’s over and over.

 

X Mayo  24:48

Same, same story, same […]

 

Tori  24:52

It’s like, how can we get women to again, that point of joy and abundance and ease and stability rather than scarcity? But also. So where there isn’t that guilt and that there isn’t that shame and there isn’t that fear seeped into every single financial decision they make or don’t make, I would rather you control money than having money control you. And I think for the vast majority of women, money is controlling them, rather than the other way around.

 

X Mayo  25:18

What advice do you have for women who are trying to prioritize their purchasing, like, what to spend money on versus like, when to save.

 

Tori  25:25

Start reviewing your purchases, not in a way where you’re gonna beat yourself up or be judgmental, but just look at your credit card statement, like, oh, I don’t remember buying that thing from Amazon. I couldn’t even tell you what it was. Oh, that was a round of drinks at the bar because I was feeling really, really good, but it was not a great use of my money, right? And you notice that even as I’m saying this, I’m not saying, God, draw, you’re a piece of shit for you know, it’s just like, Oh, interesting, yeah, I didn’t remember buying that thing. Okay, we’re not gonna do that in the future. Like, it’s just, you’re an anthropologist in your own life, you’re like, Oh, interesting. Uh huh, she bought that pair of shoes she did not need and did not want because her boss made me feel like shit today, huh? Just like, that’s it, right? And then using that data to make informed choices moving forward.

 

X Mayo  26:05

Yeah, so it’s no emotion behind it, and you’re giving yourself grace.

 

Tori  26:08

Yeah, it’s not emotionally loaded, where you’re going to make yourself feel terrible, I will say always we want to be asking ourselves, is this purchase worth it? And I mean that in a couple ways, worth it, in terms of worth what it’s asking for. Is it worth the price? The second thing is, like, is it worth it in terms of potentially setting myself up for financial success or not? Now, some purchases, I don’t want you to feel so much guilt, where you’re like, if you’re in debt, you’re never going to buy anything again. But there are some times where you’re like, getting out of debt would taste better than this thing, than this feeling of buying this thing right, or if I’m gonna go into debt to pay for this thing, that is probably not smart. So just asking, like, is it actually worth it? You can have that balance between protecting yourself and setting yourself up well in your financial life, but also, like, spending money on things you love.

 

X Mayo  27:04

Yes, and also the things you love just, just can’t be business, you know, did we? We have to be clear on that. Like, you know, I see, I see Tori drinking out of, I think it might be a Stanley Cup, you know, that’s fine.

 

Tori  27:16

It is, this was gifted to me, lucky because, I was like, the big pup, I’m not a big cup girly. And then someone gave this to me, and I’m like.

 

X Mayo  27:26

It’s so much. Yes, then straw the whole yeah, I see the serotonin, I see it.

 

X Mayo  28:23

You’re a multi millionaire who can afford to buy a house, but you rent, right? Same, right?

 

Tori  29:29

Well, I rent. I’m not a multi millionaire. Lord Jesus, my industry is dying.

 

X Mayo  29:34

Um, so I am in the same boat, but I feel, like a lot of people feel pressure to buy, like, you know, like you have to get a house, or even, like, the most of the advice that you get to women, it’s like, okay, so this is the advice because you know you have to put some away, because you know you’re gonna have kids, and you know, you know you gotta save for a college fund. And if you I was just like, No, so, so you’re not able to help me, because I don’t want to own a home, and I genuinely don’t see myself having kids. I maybe be open to one. One at 50, I adopt a teenager, maybe, but I maybe that’s what I’m open to. But how do we decide if renting or buying is the right thing to do?

 

Tori  30:08

First thing most people cannot afford to buy a house. True for most people, this is not even a conversation of like, which one should I do? Because you don’t have enough money to even think about that. Unfortunately, we’re in a country now where home ownership is not as much of a right and is a privilege. It is not a given anymore that you’re going to have your white picket fence. It is now broadly inaccessible for the vast majority of people. You’re in LA, I live in Seattle. So the average home price in Seattle is $900,000 like, that’s insane. That’s insane for like, for like a night for all the rain.

 

X Mayo  30:42

Tori? I’m paying a meal for rain. Baby, no, Seattle.

 

Tori  30:52

I love the rain. It’s not raining right now. It’s been beautiful.

 

X Mayo  30:55

Baby, it is gloom and doom, I know.

 

Tori  30:57

November through May I that’s how I think I’m so tough as I from the Pacific Northwest. Um, no, yeah, 900k It’s like 875 and that’s for like, you know.

 

X Mayo  31:08

I love Tori brought a damn house. I love Tori brought it down. 900k is it 870 5.5 yeah.

 

Tori  31:14

No, because somebody’s gonna be in the comments. They’re gonna be like, well, actually, according to that Redfin, sorta like, it’s eight. It’s like 875 like, it’s crazy, that’s wild, that’s nice. And then, you know, LA, Miami, New York, the Bay Area, for some reason, Chicago, like all of these places where, you know, it’s nice to live, and by the way, where it’s often safer to for people to live, especially queer folks. This is no longer accessible, right, in terms of home ownership. So, um, that’s the first thing two, if you do have the flexibility where you’re like, should I buy house? Should I not? It is not just a given that home ownership is a smart financial move anymore. It is actually cheaper for me to rent than it is to own a home. Now you can also argue that, of course, this is an asset. Buying house is an asset that will, in theory, you know, grow over time. We don’t know that for sure, of course, exactly in theory keyword, yeah. And also it’s just doesn’t fit my lifestyle right now. And this is why, when I talk about money, I don’t just talk about it in terms of math. I also talk about it in terms of, how do you feel, and do you actually, actually want to do this, because the common thing that like renting is throwing away money is not true, like I pay for the luxury of never having to deal with bullshit. I’m a busy business woman. I am traveling a lot. If something breaks, if my fire alarm goes off, if the plumbing leaks, I don’t want to have to deal with that. That is the luxury I’m paying for by being a renter. If I’m a homeowner, no, some people, they love this. They’re handy. I’m not handy. I’m not good at that. So I would have to hire people. I would have to bring somebody out to take a look at the toilet when it overflows. I would have to bring somebody out to take a look at the roof.

 

X Mayo  33:00

Hold on, Tori, hold on. It’s not just bring them out. You have to research what the average price is, so that you know you’re not getting fucked, right? And then that person who comes and does a job, and it’s like, oh yeah, he’s charging me the amount, not only man to you, he’s like, gonna leave just a little bit of it open, so whether you get, like, a little league, not a full leak. So then he has to come back and you have to pay him more money. Okay? So then, then you have to go around to all of your friends. It’s like, well, who owns a home? Okay? Well, who was your people? Okay, they actually charge more than the guy that I had. Now, I gotta bring this other guy over and this other guy. It’s literally a job. It’s not worth it to me. And I even know someone single lady has a home. So much work is being done on the home. It’s not able to be lived in, so she’s paying mortgage and rent. Yeah, Tori, take me out.

 

Tori  33:48

And again, it’s not just the mortgage, it’s the property taxes, and it’s the renovation costs and it’s the upkeep, and it’s the PMI, which is private mortgage insurance if you can’t afford I love PMI payment. Yeah, I love PMI, so I am not knocking on home ownership. If this is something that you want to do and something that you actually feel like, Yes, this is not only a smart financial move for me financially, but something that fits my lifestyle Correct great, have at it. That does not for me, and it’s so important to show you that, like you can build wealth in other ways. You can you have the flexibility, and that not every financial decision is just, does the math work? And by the way, the math no longer works, literally, as of like six months ago, the math for the vast majority of America does not work anymore. It is way cheaper to rent if I were to buy a house. You know that is that average price. We’re looking at $6,000 $5,800, a month. I paid 30 to 50 to rent, so it is cheaper to rent, and it better fits the season of my life.

 

X Mayo  34:55

Not only that, I think it’s a scam on some homes, because I know some people. Are like, well, the the state came by and they said that, technically, my house is catty corner to this national monument on this park, so I can’t actually cut down this tree. I got to keep these fucking apricots up and these goddamn apples, because this is part of the state. Oh, technically my neighbor is close to this part, so I can’t move this fence because they as but no, I don’t own it. I don’t get to do what I want. And also, like I want to play my music, I want to do what the fuck I want to do, and I want to be able to do it in the freedom and I love. I’m in a rent control building Tori. I never listen to me. I’m never location immaculate, 16 units, whole building. I’m the youngest person here. All elders, everyone’s quiet. Everyone minds their fucking dream, beautiful pool in the back, not in the middle, where everyone just bothers me, what parking spot downstairs?

 

Tori  35:54

Excuse me, parking spot.

 

X Mayo  35:58

Yes, and so Tori, you have given us so much amazing advice in this interview, and I would love to know, like, what’s the number one thing that women can do right now that sets them up for financial freedom? You know? Like, what’s one baby step that they can take today?

 

Tori  36:11

Yep, you’re gonna automate your savings.

 

X Mayo  36:13

Okay.

 

Tori  36:14

So when we talk about that, you probably are familiar with, dear listener, the automation of bills, right? You can set up your credit card payment to automatically get taken out of your account. You can sometimes automatically pay your rent. You can automatically pay your electric bill or your phone bill, right? We’re going to do the same thing to our savings. Too many people wait to the end of the month to start saving, and then there’s nothing left, right? They go, Oh, figure out, I’m gonna pay my expenses, and I’m gonna take that trip to Cabo, and then I’ll save money. But there’s no money left over, and then that guilt and shame creeps in, because you’re like, I didn’t save any money that I said I was going to save, and frankly, nothing tastes worse than a pina colada on a beach in Cabo with a side of guilt. So we are going to automate everything we possibly can, including our savings. So what you can do sometimes through your payroll platform at work, if you’re like corporate nine to five, or if you’re not, you can just go into your bank account and say, okay, twice a month, once a month, whatever that looks like for you. I want this amount of money taken automatically out of my checking account and put into my savings account. We don’t get an extra gold star for making this harder, although I think sometimes we do make it easy, that tool is at your disposal, like set up that automatic transfer. It’s doing what we call paying yourself first in the industry. It’s allowing your money to grow without you even having to think about it, and doing the hard thing first, so that you’re not waiting to the end of the month to start saving.

 

X Mayo  37:36

And what advice do you have for someone trying to save their first 100k.

 

Tori  37:41

Oh, we have so many resources about this couple things. We wanted me negotiating our salary all the time, but especially when you’re first getting a job offer, because that is the most amount of leverage you’re going to have. That’s one of the components of my first 100k was negotiating all of the job offers I got. The second thing is, again, we want to automate our savings. We want to set up that automatic transfer. Have your savings building on autopilot. Three we’re going to focus on that value based spending. So we have a practice in my book about what I call the three value categories. These are the three areas in your life where you get the most joy. So for mine, their travel. I love going places food out, because I’m a huge foodie, and you can see it in the video. But plants, I have like 60 plants in my house. I love them. They’re my babies, and I spend a lot of money on them. So those are the three areas I spend the majority of my discretionary money. So in that way, I’m not depriving myself, I’m not spending money. I’m just spending my hard earned money on should I actually care about? And then finally, especially for women, we could do a whole other episode about this, but I need you investing and investing through something like a 401 K an IRA, these are tax advantaged accounts, meaning that the government is incentivizing you to save for your own retirement by offering you tax breaks. The vast majority of women are actually really good savers. We know we should be saving money, we’ve set aside money, but then we don’t know what to do past that. I need you investing. And if it feels intimidating, if it feels scary, that is so normal. I think that’s also the patriarchy’s fault too. We have resources in the book. We have what’s called, I built an investing platform called stock market school that teaches you, step by step, how to invest. But I need you to not just be saving money, but actually investing as well for your future.

 

X Mayo  39:25

You know, Tori, if you started a cult, I’m not saying I’d join immediately, but I’d go to orientation.

 

Tori  39:32

That is the highest compliment you could have given.

 

X Mayo  39:36

There are people like you that. I say that to very few, but I there’s some women that I have encountered, and some people that I was just like, Wow, you are so fucking smart. You are so fucking convincing. And I know that you have a good heart. I know that you have a mind for the people tell me what to do, Tori.

 

Tori  39:55

Well, and I’ll say, I want to, I want to asterisk that I appreciate. Show you calling me smart. Thank you. I think I am. But I will also say that all of this, like, I taught myself this, or I learned from other people. I didn’t get a degree in finance, I didn’t get an MBA from Harvard. Like, I think that that is a misconception too, that, like, I have some insider knowledge that somebody else doesn’t have, again, a lie by the patriarchy that has told you that this stuff is hard or complicated, so that you give your money to a man to do it for you, whether that’s your husband or, like a Wall Street bro. But like, I just want to say, Yes, I think I’m a very smart person, but when it comes to money, I am not doing anything that you know somebody else is not also doing right? So I just want to debunk that and be like anybody listening. Yes, I am smart about this. You can be smart about this too. No, it doesn’t support everyone. Yeah, it doesn’t take hours of your day to learn. It doesn’t take having some sort of degree or certification that no one else has. It’s just like learning the basics. And so I just, I just want to highlight that, because I think the knowledge gap is so big here, but it’s not as big as people think, because it feels intimidating.

 

X Mayo  41:11

So it does, but no, I think. And when I say that, I think that even you being able to teach yourself and being able to, you know, research, have the range be able to critically think and be able to do that that takes a special skill. I’m sorry, everyone cannot do that like you have been specifically touched. I think you have a specific gift. And I’m not going to say that everyone in the world has that. I think this information you’re talking about is accessible to everyone. But Torah, you are a special something. I’m sorry, that’s just what it is. Yeah, okay but last, but certainly not least, can you tell everyone where we can follow you on soldiers and where we can purchase your amazing book?

 

Tori  41:49

Oh, thank you. Thank you for having me. I will shamelessly plug that you were on my show Financial Feminist. So if you want more of that conversation, that’s there. So Financial Feminist is my book and podcasts. They’re available wherever you’re listening. Now. It’s a New York Times bestseller, which I’m really proud of. So support so support your local bookstore. You can buy it on Amazon if you want. It’s also available as an ebook and an audiobook. And I am her first 100k on all the socials, her first100k.com @atherfirst100k on Instagram. I would love to see ya.

 

X Mayo  42:20

Wow, Tori, we’re at the end, and I am so sad. I just listen, whenever you start your gang, I feel like the colors will be purple. I feel like, I feel like all shades of purple whenever you’re ready to start that, you know, just let me know when initiation day is. I will let you know absolutely you guys, this was the one, the only amazing Tory downlap. Please support her, purchase her book, follow her on socials, and also women and all women identifying people. Please educate yourself. This information that she’s telling us is accessible to everyone, but specifically accessible via her book. Okay, that’s the last plug, but I got it because it’s wonderful. Tori’s a wonderful Tori’s a wonderful woman, and I want to thank you so much for being on my show.

 

Tori  43:03

Thank you for having me.

 

X Mayo  43:05

Thank you. Do you hear that? That’s the tension in my shoulders releasing. You know, I was feeling real stressed about not wanting to buy a house before Tori came on here spreading the money gospel. Because at the end of the day, if owning property doesn’t fit your current lifestyle, then why the hell you scrolling through Zillow, okay, shout out to Tori for making me feel better about wanting to live alone in my rent control department forever. Okay, I don’t care what the patriarchy says. See, I already feel smarter and more aware of how we as women are conditioned to think and stay small. Tory says, always negotiate your salary, automate your savings, only focus on spending in the three areas that make you the happiest. Keyword is you, not other people and invest Yes, even if it feels scary, because no, that fear is just a patriarchy trying to get you again. So stay vigilant. We got this, ladies.

 

CREDITS  44:16

The Dough is a Lemonada original. I’m your host X Mayo. This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures. This series is presented by the Margaret Casey Foundation. Our producers are Tiffany Bui, and Dani Matias. Kristen Lepore is our senior producer. Mix and Sound Design by Bobby Woody. Original Music by Pat Mesiti Miller. Jackie Danziger is our Vice President of narrative content. Executive Producers include me X Mayo, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Help others find our show by leaving us a rating and writing a review. You can follow me on IG  @80dollarsandasuitcase and Lemonada @lemonadamedia across all social platforms, follow The Dough wherever you get your podcast or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership, thanks so much for listening. See you next week, bye.