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Gael Aitor knows how to build a community. His podcast, Teenager Therapy, amassed over 600k subscribers and Gael was literally a teenager making the show. Now he’s grown and making communities digitally and IRL. This week, we get his take on making friends in your 20s, the value of virtual community, and how to get creative with your free hangouts.

This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures, an early-stage global investment firm backing mission-driven entrepreneurs and industry influencers working toward a fair finance system for all. Learn more at flourishventures.com.

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Follow Gael Aitor on Instagram @gaelaitor. You can find out more about his podcasts at https://www.astrostudios.xyz/

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Speaker 4, Speaker 2, Speaker 1, Gael Aitor, Speaker 3, X Mayo

Speaker 1  00:56

What’s an activity that you can do with your friends that is free, that’s not in the outdoors?

 

Speaker 2  01:38

Oh, my goodness, a free one. I’m sitting I’m like, give me some examples. I like, can’t think of anything.

 

Speaker 3  01:44

We do karaoke parties. So in my apartment complex, there is a theater room. It has, you know, the big screen. You can connect your microphone and, yeah, it’s, you know, for free, and it’s fun.

 

Speaker 4  01:59

Well, not actively spending money, but like riding bikes like we’ve already bought the bike, so now it’s free. Um, oh, wait, caveat, not in the outdoors.

 

X Mayo  02:15

Hey, it’s X Mayo, and you’re listening to The Dough, a show where we talk about how to influence people and win friends. Wait, what’s wrong? Okay, sorry. Welcome back to The Dough. Take two, today we’re talking about how to win influencers and friend people. No, okay, that’s still wrong. Okay oh, how to win people and influence friends. Fuck it, this show was about money, and today we’re talking about how to impact making friends. And no influencers are involved. I know y’all seen those memes about how everybody has 100 friends in their 20s, and then by the time you hit 30, you got like, three friends. You see once a month, baby, that shit sucks. We are human beings. Y’all we need community, but there’s a lot getting in the way of that. Listen, you gotta get everybody’s Google Calendar. You gotta know who’s allergic to gluten. And when we say allergic, we mean who is scared of carbs. And you gotta have money. That’s right, y’all, friendship costs money. You wanna go see Beyonce every night she’s in town. So does Jay Z did you? Did you guys see him in Kansas? No, he had to miss it. It’s too expensive. Okay, you want bottomless brunch with the drag queens. Cha Ching, it costs money. You want that nursing home with the best bingo? Cha Ching, friendship is healing, but it ain’t always priceless. That’s why sometimes it feels like you have to choose between friends and finances, there has to be a way that we can do both, because I don’t want to be in a loneliness epidemic. I am done with the demics, okay, here on the dough. We are about healing, and today’s guest is going to help us do just that. Gael Aitor started the podcast Teenager Therapy when he was in high school to remind us that we are not alone, and now he’s building a whole damn podcast empire with Astro Studios. His new pods are called Friend Group and Loitering. He is wise beyond his years, and he’s got some tricks up his sleeve for how to build community IRL and on a budget, the youth they’re out here saving our lives again. Gael, welcome to The Dough.

 

Gael Aitor  04:24

Thank you, thank you for having me.

 

X Mayo  04:27

Here on The Dough, we like to open up with a little icebreaker. So tell me where the hell did your money go this week? What kinds of events or activities did you spend your money on recently?

 

Gael Aitor  04:36

Who this you know, I feel like every month there’s always some big random purchase that just runs through your budget. And this month for me, that was spending some money buying a last minute ticket for a festival this past weekend, and then yesterday, I actually had to drive an hour to go buy some Coachella tickets from someone that was reselling them. Off of Facebook. So those were, unfortunately, two big tickets that I had to buy, and that’s where my money was.

 

X Mayo  05:06

Yeah, guy, I’m gonna have to do that too, because me and my brother love Tyler, but I also love doja, so I feel like I was the Creative Director for this lineup so we’ve seen Tyler twice. We’re from LA, so we’ve seen him at at Staples Center and at camp, vlogkna, but it’s just like to be able to give my brother that experience at such a young age. Like, I wish I was able to go to Coachella, like he’s 20. Like to go so early and like, when you have that energy, you know, like, because, right, you know, I have to, I can’t do nothing the week of coach. We have to prepare our body and mind. But you know, he can fucking, you know, he has one sprite and he’s up, you know, he doesn’t need anything.

 

Gael Aitor  05:46

Oh gosh, yeah, no, this is, this is my first time, so I don’t know what to expect so, yeah.

 

X Mayo  05:51

You’re gonna have a ball. I’ve never been either, it’s gonna be good. So hopefully I see you there. I’m like, hang out.

 

Gael Aitor  05:59

Oh my god.

 

X Mayo  06:00

I’m like, spend your money.

 

Gael Aitor  06:03

We’ll run into each other somehow. It always helps.

 

X Mayo  06:05

It does okay, so let’s get into it. Your family immigrated to the US when you were six, from where?

 

Gael Aitor  06:10

From Mexico, from Hidalgo, specifically.

 

X Mayo  06:14

Love okay, I’m Mexican. I’m black and Mexican. My family is from Tampico, Jalisco. We are all over, yeah?

 

Gael Aitor  06:22

See, that’s the thing, like, I feel like I’m from this a really small state, and you know, you’re at a concert, they’re always like, all right, my Mexicans, who’s from Oaxaca, whoo, and everybody’s cheering for them, and then I’m here waiting to really bring out my woo when they say Hidalgo, but it never comes. They never mention it.

 

X Mayo  06:37

Yeah well, it better that a small town that has, like, still so much culture and rules, because I feel like so many parts of Mexico are turning to Miami, like it’s just now becoming so westernized. And like, I worked in Oaxaca for a second, doing it like a bit with Bloomberg, with the company, doing about tequila casadores. So I love Oaxaca, the food, the taco had 20 tacos. The squirt, so good.

 

Gael Aitor  07:06

Oh yeah.

 

X Mayo  07:06

Yeah, so you okay, so your family migrated over here from the US when you were six, and you started your professional career at age 13 to make money for your family. Relatable, okay, very relatable. Um, how did you do that? What kind of money were you making?

 

Gael Aitor  07:22

Oh, well, I think from a very early age, you know, I remember when I was 12, all I was really doing was sitting around playing video games, which is very normal for a kid, that’s exactly what I should have been doing. But I started to feel really guilty because I wasn’t doing anything. And I was like, oh gosh. I see my mom always talking about how she’s struggling financially. I want to do something to help. So I was like, okay, how can I make money? And what can I do? And this was around the time that influencers just started really picking up in the mainstream. And the idea of being a YouTuber, of being an Instagram influencer, was kind of finally starting the way we see it now in the modern age. And I would see these, like teenage influencers selling sweaters and merch and monetizing on YouTube and making a ton of money. And I thought, Oh my God. Like, if you have an audience, if you have a community, it makes it so much easier to make money in various ways that doesn’t just rely on a nine to five. And so I was like, okay, well, it looks like the answer is, get a community, start an account of some sort, get a following. And so I was like, what can I do? I decided I was gonna make a fan account for a 21 pilots page. And 21 pilots is a band, and they were my favorite band at the time. And I was like, okay, I’m gonna make an account. I ended up growing the 21 Pilots account to 35,000 followers in about a couple of months, just posting memes and making my own memes about the band. And then my journey kind of started designing a notebook. I made a really terrible, terrible design with some lyrics from the song. And it was like, hey guys, if you want to buy this notebook, here’s the link in my bio, and like, five or 10 people bought it, and I made like, $100 that was what clicked in my head, that, like, whoa, I can make something. I can sell it if I advertise it well. And that alone was like, well, how, how big can I go with this? And so when I was 13, I ended up making a clothing shop where I would partner with artists to put their art on T shirts and sweaters and then give them a revenue of the give them a give them a percentage of the profit. So basically, I my pitch was, we have the followers, we have the resources to put your art on merch, and you have the art. So let’s get together and start selling this. And so I ended up growing that clothing brand to 100,000 followers on Instagram, and then $100,000 in revenue by the time I was 14.

 

X Mayo  09:52

Get that […]

 

Gael Aitor  09:58

Yeah, it’s a life time ago.

 

X Mayo  10:00

That is insane. So what did you learn about being part of a virtual community?

 

Gael Aitor  10:07

I really figured out that community is so important, and helping people feel less alone through digital communities is crucial, and it’s kind of what I fell in love with. I love the idea of being able to get DMS from people, and talk to people and have people that I could share thoughts and bounce ideas off of, basically at any moment in time. I thought that was the most fascinating and interesting in the world, thing in the world, and I have a podcast. So talking to people and talking is like just, you know, my career is based on talking to people, and so I loved it. I loved having the platform. And even now, like if you look at what I’m doing now with my production company, and a lot of the things that I invest my time into, it all has to do with helping young people feel less alone, and I think a large part of that is because I saw how much power and how much value they got out of communities.

 

X Mayo  10:57

Okay, so I’m so happy that you mentioned the podcast, because I want to get into that your first podcast was called teenager therapy, and you started it with four friends back in 2018 and shout outs to you, because you grew it to be the most popular mental health podcast for teenagers. Wish I had this back in the day. Oh my god, all I had was mystical and Little Wayne. That’s all the hell I had. But you were recognized in the New York Times, CBS and Teen Vogue. Hello, Gael. I’m on the phone with a celebrity. Okay, so did you go into teenager therapy thinking like this is going to be the shit. It’s going to be a huge success.

 

Gael Aitor  11:33

To be honest yeah, no, yeah, I did.

 

X Mayo  11:37

I love that energy, talk your shit. Gael, that’s right. Niecy Nash said, I want to thank me.

 

Gael Aitor  11:44

I do because I remember when I had the idea I was in the shower, I had started listening to podcasts, because my favorite YouTuber, Casey Neistat, had a podcast of his own called couples therapy, hence our own name, and it was just him and his wife, Candace, talking about the issues that happen in their marriage. And they would be on the podcast arguing about who took the kids out of why someone took a vacation but didn’t think about the kids, etc. And every time that I listened to that podcast, I was in, you know, I was in a relationship in the time in my, you know, middle school or my high school sophomore self, I would send the episodes to my ex, and I was like, oh my gosh, you’re just like her, I’m just like him. Like, we should, you should really listen to this. It could help us, you know? It could really help us navigate our relationship.

 

Gael Aitor  12:32

And really, what it taught me was that there is so much to learn simply by hearing the experiences of other people. And that’s what made the idea click of if I’m relating this much to this married couple that’s decades older than I am, what if this was a teenage couple? What if this was a group of teenagers talking about all the issues that go on in their lives? It’s like, if someone isn’t going through the same thing that you are, you’re basically alone. And I remember being in the shower and thinking like, oh my god, if I do this, I think it’s really going to be successful. I think it’s going to really work. This is something that I would have wanted. This is something that I think is needed. Like, this is, this is a million dollar idea. Like, I have to do this now. And so from the very beginning I was very confident that this was going to resonate.

 

X Mayo  12:32

Yes.

 

X Mayo  13:17

Well, okay, so we have a good businessman here. At Gael, truly enterpriser, hello, Bezos, move over. This is what we’ve got. Okay, so did the podcast, Gael? Did the podcast make y’all money? Were you able to, like, monetize it?

 

Gael Aitor  13:29

Honestly, we weren’t the best at monetizing for how big we were. Actually, just a week ago, there was a report released of Spotify, most followed podcasts, and it’s crazy, because Joe Rogan is, you know, way outlier, 15 million followers. And the second most popular is at like, 3 million or something, and then it goes down to 1 million, etc, etc. And like, you’re in the top 10, and the 10th is, like, maybe This American Life with like 800,000 teenager therapy had like 780,000 followers. So we were, like, basically in the top 15, top 20 podcasts on Spotify, which.

 

X Mayo  14:05

Wow.

 

Gael Aitor  14:06

I did not realize how big Teenager Therapy really was like. I don’t think I ever was able to understand it. So we weren’t able to monetize it as much as maybe those other big podcasts similar to ours, probably did. A couple reasons for that is because advertisers just find it hard to sell to a teenage audience. That’s probably one of the biggest caveats with us, is that, like, we would go to them and they’d be like, oh, you know what? An ad network doesn’t make sense because it’s hard to tell to teenagers, and there’s a bunch of regulations, so it’s hard. So a bunch of our money came from the value of our brand and our personality as a whole, and the fact that you know headspace was like, hey, we really love what you guys are doing let’s sponsorship. Let’s give you a sponsorship outside of just the mid roll, or Hollister would be like, Hey, we’re doing this activation. We want to bring you guys in because you’re the spokesperson for so many teenagers. So we were able to monetize it, but in a very untrace in a way.

 

X Mayo  15:01

I know y’all are disappointed we don’t have ads for a Hollister or Hot Topic, but you know, we got lit too, let’s listen.

 

X Mayo  15:12

So Gael, how old are you?

 

Gael Aitor  15:13

I’m 20 now.

 

X Mayo  16:22

You’re 20, oh, my God, you and my brother the same age.

 

Gael Aitor  17:41

I know it’s our first time. That’s why, I just need a surprise.

 

X Mayo  17:44

Yeah, no, my brother is literally my world. I am obsessed. Um, okay, so you guys are both Gen Z. You are a thick Gen Z, because I know I’ve recently met a zillennial, right? She’s 29 she’s like, I’m cuss yeah.

 

Gael Aitor  17:59

Weird age.

 

X Mayo  18:00

Yeah, don’t do it. Don’t you try don’t you try us. Because as a little you have no idea the shit that we didn’t go through. Y’all didn’t had one covid, and that’s it. No Bush, no recession, baby Bush. Bush was equivalent of three pandemics. Okay? We were on lockdown, my mama said, stay in this house, Bush is outside.

 

Gael Aitor  18:24

I believe it, right? Oh, I believe it.

 

X Mayo  18:26

Yes, we’ve been through, okay, but I feel like there’s two conflicting stereotypes of what Gen Z is doing with their money and time. So I feel like y’all are like, in the house, I’m not fucking, I’m not drinking like, or y’all are like, in euphoria. You know, when everybody’s dick is out on the line and it’s just like, fuck it we both. So I don’t know what the reality is, yeah, what are you guys spending your time money on?

 

Gael Aitor  18:49

Oh, you know, I might not be the best representation of Gen Z, because I had such an untraditional childhood.

 

X Mayo  18:57

Okay.

 

Gael Aitor  18:58

You know, I started working so young. I was like, yeah, in a professional world from so young, answering emails, getting on meetings and calls, while everybody was still like, learning, you know, world history and such. And I think the sentiment right now is that, like, Gen Z is in an interesting dilemma with our own values and ethics. You know, we say we hate fast fashion and we want to be politically correct. Yeah, Shane is growing at like, a tremendous rate. You have things like temu that are just picking up speed with Gen Z. You have Tiktok shop. Consumerism is rampant, and so I think it’s hard. We’re in a heat. I think we’re in a huge wave of consumerism for Gen Z, you know, like you want to have the trendiest clothes, in a way that is even more, you know, cycling through the cycles quicker than ever before because of the internet. You know, millennials and such, they went through their trends, but it was slower. You know, things lasted longer now it’s like.

 

X Mayo  19:57

Oh yeah.

 

Gael Aitor  19:57

You don’t get it the moment you see it. By the time it arrives. Lives, it’s probably already outdated.

 

X Mayo  20:02

I really feel for you all in your generation, because I was able to be at the cusp of the internet boom, right to have what life was like before, and I do like you were that bitch in my high school, if you had like, fresh J’s on and you had your popping ass lip gloss, and maybe a little and maybe a little mascara. But even then it was like, Bitch is hot. Like, it’s like, that, that shit gonna get in my eye. Like, it was just, and then, now to see the girls, like, 20 years old at prom, I was like, she’s 30, and they’re like, No. And I’m like, and then it’s contour. It’s like, wait a minute, I just had to have my MAC lip gloss. And I was that big.

 

Gael Aitor  20:39

We’re moving through everything so quick. Everything is just like.

 

X Mayo  20:43

I know.

 

Gael Aitor  20:44

Insane, I mean, you have like, the the drunk elephant kids, which is, you know, I think that might be a different generation, but it’s still kind of like you enter middle school, you’re already looking at skincare, you’re looking at Sephora, you’re looking at makeup, and it’s like, oh my gosh, that’s wasn’t that supposed to be, like, midway through high school. So I think Gen Z has just been defined by a quickness, an unprecedented quickness, in every aspect of our lives.

 

X Mayo  21:09

I think that’s a good observation, and Gael, you mentioned something that I really want to get into, that you like, were answering fucking emails I like, you know, 14-15, you know, having that subject line be on point. Hello, because we need that. We need efficiency, right? So you were like, fucking optimization at, you know, just baby, you know, that voice hadn’t even dropped, and you were like, where’s my money?

 

Gael Aitor  21:31

I was like, I need the shipments. I need shipment status. I need shipment tracking numbers.

 

X Mayo  21:36

Yeah, absolutely. So what lessons did you learn about money, like business and people, during that time.

 

Gael Aitor  21:43

Oh gosh one first thing is keep, keep track of your finances. Be so incredibly vigilant and precise with every penny that goes in and out of your bank account. There was, you know, some, sometimes I’m like, wow, yeah, there’s, you know, $100,000 in revenue, and then, you know, maybe half of it was profit divided between, like, two or three people. Where did all that money go? And I think at a very early age, I saw, like, how quick money can come and go. And I was like, you know what I want to know what I’m spending my money on, and I really want to make sure that I’m spending wisely. And so the first thing is that keep track of everything. Number two is that, like, there’s so many ways to make money on the internet, it’s not fun making money just for the sake of making it. It’s so much more meaningful when you’re doing it for something you believe in, or for to help someone or to make good in the world. You know, like when I was doing that clothing brand, it was fun and it was great, but it wasn’t what I was passionate about. I think at the end of the day, I wanted to help young people feel less alone. And even if creating clothes was a way to maybe do that, it just wasn’t the way that I wanted to do it. And so I realized that, like, I think whatever goes on in my life, I think I quickly realized that chasing money did not lead to fulfillment, and I’d rather be focusing my time doing something that feels fun and exciting and meaningful than something that’s just boring but is making money.

 

X Mayo  23:15

Yeah, I think that I’ve always heard different celebrities or people with money be like, it doesn’t change anything. I had money and I was sad, and I used to always be broke. I’m like, shut the fuck up. Give me that money. And then I started making money, Gael, and I mean, the most money I’ve ever had in my entire life. And nothing changed, right? Like, my cousin still was murdered. I’d still experience, you know, friendship, heartbreak, you know, I still was rejected from other big projects that I really wanted. Like, life is like, no. I mean, I’m grateful to be able to pay for therapy and to go to the gym, you know, and to be able to process my feelings and a healthy manners. But yeah, it’s a mindfuck. So I want to take a shift to talk about your new podcast that you have with your former co host, Kayla Suarez, as I say, a lesson. So congrats on that. It’s called Friend Group, and every season, ask a super relatable question. So this season, y’all are talking about whether or not you should get back with your ex, and not me, not with, not with your ex, as in me, not like ex, your friend. Always get back with The Dough. You should always get back with The Dough. You should actually never leave The Dough to get back with. X, okay, period. Um, so this is brilliant. So this is, this is gonna get spicy, guys. You’re like, you’re going to shake the fucking table so our so it’s like, should we get back with our exes, Gael? Like, what’s tea?

 

Gael Aitor  24:45

So yeah, last year, Kayla and I started Astro Studios, which is a our podcast production company, and our goal is to help young people deal with overwhelming emotions. So we want to be the Sesame Street for teenagers.

 

X Mayo  25:02

I love that.

 

Gael Aitor  25:03

And part of the way we’re doing that is like, look, teenager therapy proved there’s so many questions we have that we don’t have the answers to, and we can’t ask anyone around us because the people around us simply can’t relate. They’re not our same age. They’re not whatever, whatever you know, it’s difficult. And if there’s one thing you know about therapy is that it’s not about giving you advice, it’s about just giving you a different perspective and giving you a shift in your thinking, providing that shift. And so we thought, well, what if we take what makes therapy so great and what made our podcast so great and combine it into a new show? And so we started thinking about what that could look like, and that’s how we came up with friend group. And so each season, we focus on a question that a lot of young people might have, like, should you get back together with your ex? We asked 16 different young people of all ages, and by the end of the season, the overwhelming response was, no, it wasn’t worth it.

 

X Mayo  25:58

No.

 

Gael Aitor  25:58

It was not worth it, don’t get back together with your ex?

 

X Mayo  26:01

Yeah, I think there’s some very specific scenarios in which that has been fruitful. I’ve even seen it, um, not in my life personally.

 

Gael Aitor  26:14

But like, if you’re if you’re not getting back to mary, why are you getting back? So when you’re young, it really just doesn’t make sense.

 

X Mayo  26:20

So yeah, a resounding no. Okay, so you got that here at The Dough, Gael said it, I agree. Don’t get back with your ex. Don’t spin don’t spin the block. Please don’t unless you’re Ashanti and Nelly, because I love, oh my god, they’re so cute. Okay, so you’ve done such an incredible job of tapping into what your peers need, to feel safe and supported online. I would like to know, how do you connect with people, IRL and like, what are some, like, cheap activities to do with your friends?

 

Gael Aitor  26:44

Oh, that’s a great question. Number one, I love my AMC stubs, member, a list, membership. God, 24.99, 24.99 for three free movies every week, like, are you serious? Are you kidding me? Like, that is an incredible deal, and I it’s the subscription that I’m most happy with. Because if I ever want to go out and do something see a friend, let’s just go to the movies. Okay, sure, we watch a movie, but then afterwards we talk, we hang out. It’s just such an easy excuse. Sometimes it’s like, we don’t have much to catch up on. We just kind of want to do something together. Like, something together. Let’s go watch a movie. It’s already paid for easy, that’s one way. That’s one way I keep up with friends. Number two is okay, besides eating, because I really that could get expensive very, very quickly, is I, like, just asking people to go on, like, try out different little classes on like services, like class pass. It’s kind of fun because you both can go to a physical activity, take some yoga. I tried hot yoga with a friend the other day, and we just all used our trial. And there’s so many companies that are just giving free things away that you just have to kind of look for it and go and do it.

 

X Mayo  27:58

I also got, y’all love a good errand bestie, like, Girl, I gotta go do this, and this, and then we can stop and get tacos at this place. I love the gelato at this little shop, so we technically did eat, but for $20, right? Like, it’s like, you I am, because also too, my life can get so busy to where that’s all the extracurricular time I have is to do these errands, and I want to talk to you, and I live in LA, so like, you know, I get in my little whip aroundi, and we’re gonna hit the town. We’re gonna go to the dry cleaning spot. We’re gonna get our nails done. We’re gonna get my couch REU poster, you know, like, I gotta go downtown and look at fabric that whole time we’re talking, we’re chatting, we’re yapping it up. So I’m down.

 

Gael Aitor  28:41

I love that.

 

X Mayo  28:42

And I have to get the AMC stub. I love Nicole Kidman, you come here. Oh, my God, she’s iconic.

 

Gael Aitor  29:38

Incredible.

 

X Mayo  29:47

One of our other guests, Gael, Michelle young, she said this thing that I keep just ruminating on, which is that our social life is super connected to our finances. So can you tell me how this is played on your personal life?

 

Gael Aitor  31:33

There was an interesting article I read about the friendship tax, you know, and how, like.

 

X Mayo  31:37

Yes.

 

Gael Aitor  31:38

Basically, like, making friends is just, can you afford your friends? People can’t afford to go out and get something to eat just to see one friend, and if you have 2,3,4,5, friends, like, it’s just not realistic. There’s not enough things to do, it seems, without spending a ton of money.

 

X Mayo  31:55

Yeah, I think for me, while I was in New York, especially like being in a new city, I was hustling so hard, so all the friends I made were people that were within my industry, because I was doing improv as we sketch I was at UCB. I just lived and breathed at that fucking theater. But I think I had friends that were community minded, so they knew where I was at financially so if they, like, got a big tip that week from serving, and they’re like, oh my god, X there’s fucking Afro punk this weekend. You want to go, I’m like, but you know, I’m broke. And Shannon’s just like, Girl, if you don’t shut the fuck up, like we’re gonna go, like, we’re gonna have a good time. So I think I was very intentional, and I attracted what I am, which is being community oriented and being community based so there were moments where we all took care of each other. Like, there were times when I needed to go to this fucking industry fit, and my homegirl is like, okay, let’s go through my closet. Like my homegirl, Nati, would literally braid my hair and she’d do my nails, like, like everybody would just come together. It’s like a damn commune low key, like we all just supported each other, which I know you are right.

 

Gael Aitor  33:03

I love that you say that because it’s something that I very much believe in, is like, like, if it makes sense for us to just help each other out, let’s do that. Like, if I need to pay for you, if you need to pay for me, that is great. That’s a great system to live by. I think we should all be asking more little favors for of our friends. That really is the key to community, being like, hey, can I do this? Can you do this for me? Like, that is how you build stronger bonds, and it applies in all aspects, and so, yeah, I love that.

 

X Mayo  33:29

Yeah, and I think it comes so easy to me, but I know that I will. I’m not trying to say that it’s something that’s so easy for anyone to do. I think being black and Mexican, like, I have four Dias, five deals. That’s all that I know. So that’s all that I know to do. So I really feel for people who don’t come from that foundation, because they’re like, that sounds crazy.

 

Gael Aitor  33:51

And like the thing is, a lot of it starts with us. You know, it’s like, you have to build the life and the type of friends that you want. If you’re always like, dang, why can’t I have friends that host parties and host little book clubs or host whatever it’s like, you start hosting it, and that, in and of itself, starts attracting those people. So if you’re like, dang, why don’t I have friends that are community oriented and are always helping you out, it’s like, well, you start helping them out, and then people start feeling more comfortable with that. And it sounds weird, but like, no, actually, the more you ask of someone, the more committed they are. You know, I’m not saying, like, bombard them with requests, but it’s like, Hey, can you help me get this up? Can you help look this over? Can you help, you know, just little things, and it’s kind of like it feels uncomfortable, but over time, you’ll both start to feel like you’re a support system in each other’s lives. And it really just benefits both of you.

 

X Mayo  34:41

And I know that, like, community building is so important, and it’s the antithesis to capitalism, right? And I feel like, I feel like we all exist under capitalism, and in some ways have to participate, to eat, you know, to survive. But I do believe that um, there is just the only way that I feel that we can make anything for ourselves and produce anything. You have to do it with people. So we are at the end, Gael, I have one more question. You’re gonna leave us off with a banker. Okay, so what do you think is a solution, not the but a solution to the loneliness epidemic that’s happening right now? Do you think it’s the internet? Do we need to get out of the house? Like, what do you think is a possible solution?

 

Gael Aitor  35:36

I think a possible solution is more social clubs. We need the resurgence of social clubs in America.

 

X Mayo  35:45

Oh, I love that.

 

Gael Aitor  35:45

Whether it’s a table tennis club, a music club, a conversation club, you know, if you want to bring what teenage therapy had on the podcast, the format of it, bring that everywhere, just little clubs where you can talk about your feelings, things like that. I think that’s what’s needed.

 

X Mayo  35:59

And I will tell you a spy that you need to go to. It’s called the record club. They’re LA base, and they just play a dope ass black or POC artist. So everybody go look up the record club, and it’s all music heads, music lovers. The tickets are really reasonable, and it’s based in LA so it’s always out here, if you live in the LA area. But then we interview someone from reparations club, and there’s another one that popped up in Echo Park, like, I think, you know, it’s kind of like a more organic, accessible Soho House, if that makes sense.

 

Gael Aitor  36:31

We just need to spend a little more time lingering in various places in the real world, loitering, which is the reason my new podcast that I just launched, like, three weeks ago. It’s called loitering because, like he there’s a law that literally bans just hanging out, you know, with very racist roots, most of all. And it’s kind of like the young people are told to go outside, but where, you know, where are they actually being told to it’s like you got to build those places first.

 

X Mayo  37:00

And that costs money.

 

Gael Aitor  37:01

Oh, can’t even do that. Oh, loitering should be okay. Loitering is fine.

 

X Mayo  37:09

It is Oh, my God, Gael. Oh, burn it down. Okay, how do we find you and your work? Please tell the people.

 

Gael Aitor  37:15

Yes, well, on Instagram, I am @Gaelaitor, G, A, E, l, A, I, T, O, R, um, my podcast company is called Astro studios so @astrodiosxyz, and my new show Loitering on Instagram @Iloveloitering, or loitering anywhere that you get your podcast from.

 

X Mayo  37:36

Yes, and Friend Group is available wherever you get your pods, too, right?

 

Gael Aitor  37:39

Yes, that is also everywhere.

 

X Mayo  37:41

Oh, my God, and you also can find Gael at Coachella.

 

Gael Aitor  37:44

Yeah, both of us there actually,

 

X Mayo  37:49

Truly.

 

Gael Aitor  37:51

Lovely.

 

X Mayo  37:51

So much Gael for sharing your time. And I see a Coachella, we’ll be throwing that ass back.

 

Gael Aitor  37:56

Oh yes, we will, yes, we will to Lana Del Rey.

 

X Mayo  37:59

Yeah, yes to LanaDel Rey, absolutely, bye.

 

X Mayo  38:05

Okay, y’all we gotta wrap this up so I can meet Gael IRL, and as we discuss, I am lucky. Seeing people in real life is hard. Socially, we are struggling as a country, and money is a block. So let’s recap the ways we can see our friends and not break our banks. First, sign up for AMC or exercise classes. Take advantage of subscriptions and trial periods as an excuse to do things with friends. Second, be the one to start shit if you really want it to happen. If an AMC membership isn’t in the budget, let me tell you what you do. Okay, you get you some sequins and a blonde wig, and you dress up like Nicole Kidman and put that inflated ass Netflix subscription to social use, make your living room the theater every week for you and your friends, you better walk in and do that monolog. You walk in, you tell your friends you come here for magic. Yes, what Gael taught us is that friendship and community are simple. All you have to do is get together and show up on that note, goodbye to my Dough community, loveove y’all, bye.

 

CREDITS  39:17

The Dough is a Lemonada original. I’m your host X Mayo. This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures. This series is presented by the Margaret Casey Foundation. Our producers are Claire Jones, Rachel Pilgrim and Tony Williams. Kristen Lepore is our senior producer. Mix and Sound Design by Bobby Woody. Original Music by Pat Mesiti-Miller. Jackie Danziger is our Vice President of narrative content. Executive Producers include me X Mayo, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Help others find our show by leaving us a rating and writing a review. You can follow me on IG  @80dollarsandasuitcase and Lemonada @lemonadamedia across all social platforms, follow The Dough wherever you get your podcast or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership, thanks so much for listening. See you next week, bye.