Is Celebrity Trainer Tracy Anderson a Scammer?
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Description
Kiki takes Hoja and Mohanad on a deep dive into celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson’s lawsuit against former employee Megan Roup, who runs the popular workout app Sculpt Society. They get into Tracy’s questionable past, unpack her bizarre fitness and nutrition regime that she used with stars like Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna, and debate whether or not someone should be able to copyright an exercise movement. Then, the trio reacts to this year’s Emmy nominations, and Hoja and Mohanad recount some of their most memorable TV audition horror stories. Plus, Mohanad introduces our sure-to-be-controversial new segment and the hosts respond to a listener demanding an apology from them.
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Transcript
SPEAKERS
Alex McOwen, Mohanad Elshieky, Hoja Lopez, Kiki Monique
Kiki Monique 00:08
I’m Kiki Monique. And this is I’M SORRY, the unapologetic show about apologies. And this week I fully leaning into my newly minted blue check status, my verified status.
Hoja Lopez
What perks come with it?
Kiki Monique
Just clout.
Hoja Lopez
Just clout, enough.
Mohanad Elshieky
That’s all you need. Yeah. And this is one of them sherry. And this week, my dryer is broken. And I’ve been hanging my clothes on the cast tree. And they don’t love that either like it.
Hoja Lopez
Oh, my God. And my name is Hoja Lopez. And I had a flashback to all of the takeout trash that I had to have gotten rid of throughout the pandemic. And I feel bad because I probably am single handedly filling up a full entire trash mound in some trash island off the Pacific Northwest. But anyways, lots of guilt about that.
Mohanad Elshieky
Yeah, I’d say you made climate change progress even quicker, just single handedly.
Kiki Monique
In New York of the trash island. It just called Staten Island.
Hoja Lopez
I have something to ask you both. And I hope that you don’t hold it against me. But like, is New York just bad? Like, I like going but it’s crazy up there. Right? It’s so expensive. It’s pretty dirty. There’s not a lot of like natural free things that you can go to aside from maybe like Central Park, but like, explain it really to the rest of us. You know, southerners pretty much what’s up with New York? Is it bad?
Kiki Monique
No, it’s amazing. It’s amazing. The capital of the world.
Mohanad Elshieky
Also, not you come and get us Southerners. That’s what you said, Hoja lives in Chicago. And yeah, you’re just coming out of like, this is like if we asked you to explain Chicago to us, which I am sure you can’t. New York has way more to do.
Hoja Lopez 02:02
I don’t know. I think maybe Chicago is better than Los Angeles and New York.
Mohanad Elshieky
That does not even make sense.
Hoja Lopez
No, it really does. And I think you have to live here to know that,
Mohanad Elshieky
You know, if Los Angeles and New York like just exchanged for you stuff like what if we got there weather maybe like some of the beaches, New York would be the best city alive. And like vice versa, when it comes to Los Angeles had the subway.
Kiki Monique
You know, Chicago feels quaint, like, well, you know, I watch shows about Chicago and the boys look hot and all of that. And you do have like, I love beach, and I love skyscrapers and the fact that you can do both in Chicago. I do like that part of it.
Hoja Lopez
And like people don’t know about the summer in Chicago. I will tell this summer in Chicago until the day that I die. Because it feels like paradise on earth. You know what I mean? It just truly, it’s a free beach. That is 10 minutes away from my house. And I just can’t see how Broadway is better than that. You know what I mean? I just can’t.
Mohanad Elshieky
Okay, let’s talk back into winter, Hoja. When you’re like, oh, okay. I had to dig up my car and I couldn’t find it.
Kiki Monique
And then someone moved into my space that I just dug out after I drove down the street.
Mohanad Elshieky
Yeah, I literally have to, like our wrestle someone for a parking spot. This is you every winter.
Hoja Lopez
Did I say she was perfect. No. But did I say that I think she’s better than New York and Los Angeles, yeah. Yeah. A little bit.
Kiki Monique
Whatever you need to sleep well at night.
Hoja Lopez
Oh, my God. And we fully entered territory tribe wars here at New York, LA, Chicago podcast.
Mohanad Elshieky
You know what, since we’re talking about problematic opinions, which is what you’re doing right now, Hoja, because I hope our listeners do for this day. We’re introducing a new segment this week, which is I’m sorry, but, each of us every week one of the hosts will pick a hill to die on. And we’ll strongly defend that opinion. And I decided that I’m going to start this week because first I am brave second. I don’t think I’m ever wrong. And that’s just something about me.
Hoja Lopez 04:12
Okay, I was gonna say character flaw but that also is, that makes sense as well.
Mohanad Elshieky
Yeah, but I’m gonna say I’m sorry, but iced coffee. Extremely disgusting.
Kiki Monique
Who are you? What is wrong with you?
Mohanad Elshieky
It’s me. Mohanad Elshieky, everyone. Hey, everyone, iced coffee is bad. Hot Coffee is where it’s at. I’m just saying.
Kiki Monique
I’m just gonna say shut down your DMS and now, the heat is coming.
Hoja Lopez
I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a more controversial opinion. Ever actually.
Mohanad Elshieky
Coffee should not be cold. What like this is like, this is like if I went and I was like, hey, yeah, I would love some orange juice. And can you warm that up for me?
Kiki Monique
Oh, you’re comparing iced coffee to warm orange juice? This is blasphemous.
Mohanad Elshieky
Like I, I’ll say, you know what? I’ll take it like one step further. Ice in any drink is bad like stop.
Kiki Monique
I need you to just step away sir.
Mohanad Elshieky
I’ll say this okay? If you’re giving me a cold drink, put it in the fridge or something and then bring it to me cold, putting ice, first of all, you’re stealing the drink from me because it’s just gonna be water most of it. You know, I’m just saying ice is bad. There’s no like literally, ice is bad in a drink. It also ice sunk the Titanic. So it’s bad.
Kiki Monique
Someone on this podcast has never had the good ice at Sonic before. And it shows.
Hoja Lopez
That’s right. That’s essentially water candy. At least that’s how it feels in your teeth. I’m just gonna say that I think you’re flat out wrong. And I know we’ve entered a space where it’s a taste thing. But I think your taste is bad. I think you’re doing it wrong. And this is not subjective issue, you’re wrong.
Kiki Monique
You’re not holding up the New York argument here either because like you think New York is the greatest place but you think iced coffee is bad? I don’t know where your opinions lie.
Mohanad Elshieky 06:07
Iced coffee is bad. And I know for a fact that I have a community out there who agrees with me. And if you’re listening right now and you think iced coffee is bad, then please say so now. Please defend your right to normal hot coffee that human beings should be consuming.
Hoja Lopez
I feel like I just found out that you cereal killed 10 people, and I heard it from you, which is crazier than hearing it from the news. You know what I mean? And now I got to go tell my friends and defend Mohanad to all of my friends and then I’m gonna get cancelled with you.
Mohanad Elshieky
I’ll say this. I would never even if I had the urge. I would never be a serial killer because first of all, it takes a lot of commitment. I don’t have that. You know? It takes a lot of commitment to just go and just like deal with and have like an MO and stuff like that. That’s not me. I feel like serial killer like a boomer shit, we don’t do that.
Kiki Monique
Did you see that viral meme going around that like listed like 20 serial killers and like most of them were Virgos and then like follow up with like Geminis and Sagittarius is which, you know, I understand we are a charming folk. What are your signs again?
Mohanad Elshieky
I’m a Pisces.
Hoja Lopez
And I am a Virgo so I’m definitely up there.
Mohanad Elshieky
Is that why you were just accusing me so you can take attention away from yourself?
Hoja Lopez
That’s not what a serial killer would do.
Mohanad Elshieky
A thing that’s a serial killer do is they like to blend in, in society. They’re just like you don’t see them really they just agree that like oh yes iced coffee is good. Because they want to seem normal.
Hoja Lopez
Yeah, that’s why I became a fat comedian that gets on stages because I was like let me just blend in, really funny. well I feel like these hills to die on are definitely gonna be repeatedly agree to disagree moments because truly, I’m telling you there’s memes going around fully stating that about 25% of women’s personalities is just the sound that swirling the ice and their iced coffee makes when they’re walking around. So I just, I really feel like I express myself through my iced coffee so well, I feel personally attacked as all I got to say about that.
Kiki Monique 08:31
I think I feel like one thing well, I think this is one thing we can all agree on is that we love watching crazy rich people fight, I don’t know. Like I feel like we do a lot of group text message exchanges about, just like rich people who have way too much time on their hands and fight about things that are just outside of our tax bracket. And you know, I sent you that this post the other day, you know table things I bought and like which is like a great account on Instagram if you’re not following you should but she had tagged me in this you know, Tracy Anderson is this like workout guru from like, I mean, I remember her from the early 2000s Like, actually, when I hear Tracy Anderson’s name, I get a little bit of like early 2000s PTSD because it’s like remind me of like Rachel Zo that era of just like super thin Hollywood women just like super tiny and I could never fit in this box. And so Tracy Anderson, she got famous because she, Gwyneth Paltrow was like the first celebrity that was, you know, found her and became you know, she became a personal trainer did Gwyneth Paltrow, then Gwyneth Paltrow introduced her to Madonna and then so she just sort of like, blew up from there but she is suing one of her former employees who worked for her for like six years, essentially claiming copyright over her choreographed moves and saying, you know, it’s proprietary, it’s confidential that she’s stealing these exercise moves that are the Tracy Anderson method. And, you know, when I was like, you know, diving into this case, it’s interesting for like many reasons. One, it’s very like two rich white ladies fighting which I watch a lot of Bravo. You know, that is my favorite pastime to do. Two, It’s like, brings up this idea of like copywriting on choreography, which is really interesting in this TikTok world that we’re living in now, because I also discovered that Carlton Alfonso Ribeiro, who played Carlton on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, he also, he tried to copyright you know, the Carlton dance you know, everyone does. Because he was involved in a lawsuit against Fortnite, you know, that game? I don’t play that but a lot of people play that Fortnite game, him and the, you know, the backpack kid who did the philosophy and everyone was doing the flossing. They were suing Fortnite. And it was like, you know, determine that essentially, these dance moves couldn’t be copyright. But so I’m interested from that perspective of like Tracy’s moves and how that will go forward. And then I’m also just like, kind of curious about Tracy Anderson. Remember that bad vegan series that came out on Netflix a while ago? Yeah, I seriously think that they could do another Netflix series, because Tracy Anderson’s backstory is kind of wild. Like, just all of it combined. I mean, I don’t even know where you want to jump in. Because there’s so much to this, that it’s just like, it’s kind of a crazy story. And I didn’t realize, you know, we start looking at stories, you think you have one impression, like, I think I went into the story thinking like, Tracy Anderson, like, I’ll never, we’ll never be friends. You know, she’s just like this thin, blonde woman. And we have nothing in common and like, the more I get into story, I can’t tell. I might love her. I don’t know. I can’t tell. I can’t tell. You know, if that makes sense.
Kiki Monique
I mean, all I know about her is that both of her husband’s died. One died of cancer and one died of a heart attack. Which is very interesting. This is turning into a true crime podcast.
Kiki Monique 12:29
So you’re gonna add that into your like, we want some investigations from that.
Hoja Lopez
Yeah, yeah, I can imagine Mohanad it’s like detective wall. And it’s just like, it has like a cute picture of his cats on the top corner just for motivation. Strings ang things.
Mohanad Elshieky
It’s just very interesting to me that seeing like to fitness like trainers just like fighting like over, like, you know, like training and exercises and stuff. Because I’m just like, I don’t know, like, I am not really like a fitness experts. So I have no idea what’s so special about just like some moves. I’m just like..
Hoja Lopez
How the copyright would work for like these various exercises. I’m like, isn’t everything just on YouTube? And you can just look it up anyway.
Kiki Monique
Well, that’s the thing that’s really interesting about this case is because it really did get birthed out. Because, you know, there were several other employees who have worked under Traci and left and gone on to do their own things. And it’s like, this is why I was also like, rolling my eyes at the beginning of this case, because when you work in like a specialized industry, right, like, let’s say you’re a graphic designer, or you know, any sort of creative field, you can’t just change your whole even if you sign an NDA or confidentiality clause, you can’t change your whole career, when you go to do your next venture, and there’s going to be overlap, because it’s like, obviously, you use a lot of the same techniques, especially if you’re a workout person.
Mohanad Elshieky
Exactly, exactly. Yeah.
Kiki Monique
But like, in this case, it’s pretty interesting, because well, I will say that the one, because of COVID, they were forced to sort of move from like in person training to app training. And I think that’s where this sort of started because Tracy wouldn’t have seen the other woman whose name is Megan Roop. Who is she’s suing; it’s called the Sculpt Society is who she’s suing. She wouldn’t have seen these moves if they had been in a studio, but because Megan had to think […] and put them behind the paywall, and like, you know, these were videos that people could see, she could see like, wait, that’s my move. And that’s why I keep thinking this is actually going to be a really interesting jury trial to sit on because they’re going to literally put up videos of Tracy’s, you know, workouts next to videos of Megan’s workouts just as be like and see this move right here that she’s doing right here. This is like a proprietary move.
Mohanad Elshieky 14:53
I’m just trying to imagine the first person who’s ever done a push up. And it was like, holy shit. If one person does this I am going to sue them, this is insane.
Kiki Monique
Well, that’s like I ended up going there’s a there’s actually like a circular called the copyright registration of choreography and pantomime. There are certain moves that can never be copy written because it’s just too like basic. So they were saying like, you know, if we were at like a football game and we were like, give me an A, give me a C, like, any movements with arms, you can’t copyright that. Basic dance moves. ballroom dances, square dances, can’t you know, they’re just basic. So that’s interesting what it has to almost be a certain series and successions of movements.
Mohanad Elshieky
I think they should both lose. I am honestly, like, every time I’m like, oh yeah, I’m gonna go get back to the gym, I’m gonna start working out and download some program or something. All I can say is they just make exercising too complicated. And I’m just like, why are you making this too much? I’m just like, you know, I’m just gonna go run for a bit and then just jump around and leave like, What are you saying? What is the succession of moves that makes it sound like I am going to war or something?
Hoja Lopez 16:21
Yeah, it’s definitely bizarre in the sense that like, if aliens looked down upon us, and they were like, they’re trying to copyright and own body movements in specific successions. Like, it just sounds so bizarre. But yes, I do get it that like, they work very hard to put together these sort of like proprietary sort of things. And then they promise, you know, America, that they’re going to be thin, young and famous forever through these moves. So I get why it’s happening. But copyright in general, is a really strange thing that I don’t understand. And so this in particular, I don’t feel bad for either of them.
Kiki Monique
You know, what, here’s what funny to me. It’s like, okay, you know, Tracy says she hasn’t seen a specific method. She’s, you know, used her dancer, you know, background, which, by the way, she, you know, part of her claims were that she, you know, she used to be like on Broadway, and that she was the pink power ranger. Nobody could actually confirm whether those are true. But I’ve always said that if I was gonna be like, if I was gonna lie about something, I would say it was a Power Ranger.
Mohanad Elshieky
Yeah, yeah. I mean, everyone knows for a fact I was the yellow Power Ranger, right? That’s not just what we’re talking about here today.
Kiki Monique
But like, you know, and so that she has these methods, she talks about, like, you know, the body, the muscles learn really quickly. So I change people’s methods every six days. And this is why she is able to charge something like for 150 sessions like $4,000, right? But then when you get into, like, what she was doing for Gwyneth and Madonna, you know, the quotes are like, we train for two hours, six days a week, we do 45 minutes of dance aerobics, followed by work on muscle tone, flexibility and definition. If I worked out for two hours a day for six days a week, I wouldn’t need any special choreography I would just be thin like, you don’t have time to do anything else is that the method is just eat and workout until you die?
Mohanad Elshieky 18:19
That what drives me insane. I’m just like, all you should say is these people have the resources, they have the money, and they have the time to commit to the plan that we’re giving them. And that is why they are like the way they are now. But say making it sound like because they follow these specific moves. Like this would be very impressive. If you’re like, if you do these moves for 10 minutes, every day, you will have this body of like…
Hoja Lopez
Bring it down, patent it. Put it on a bottle and sell it
Mohanad Elshieky
Working out for two hours a day. Cool. You copyrighted having time. Awesome.
Kiki Monique
I like a lot of this. I feel like a lot of this lawsuit, though truly is the word I’m thinking hubris and ego. It seems like a lot of the repeating was Megan Roop, who she’s you know, her former employee who she’s suing, never acknowledge that she worked for Tracy for all these years. And so the other people when I look at these other employees who again, have gone on to do other things, you know, they’ve there have been articles about it in Yeah, I worked for Tracy studio and all this but Megan, you know, she doesn’t have it on her LinkedIn. When she talks about it. She says, you know, I used to work for a local studio, which you know, for someone like Tracy who spent 20 years building it up and someone calls it a local studio. I’m wondering if it’s like, you know, she decided to pick this you know, the sculpt society in particular, because you know, they’re shady, it feels a little bit shady. Combined with just, you know, look, I want to see what some of these, if these moves are you know, very soon Hello because I’ve never done it Tracy Anderson workout I’ve seen sort of like kind of like the things like the random things you do online and I’m like, okay, that looks crazy. But you know, I will say though from the bad vegan aspect, I would just love to, I would love to see this as a Bravo series one because we don’t have enough workout shows on Bravo anymore workout was one of the most fun reality shows ever. It would be fun to watch this from just that perspective. But from the bad vegan side, I mean, this woman and this is why again, I have to give a respect. I mean, look, do I respect the fact that she has a baby food eating plan? No, I don’t know if I respect that part of it.
Hoja Lopez 20:36
Wait, hold on. What? A baby food eating plan is it for adults or for babies?
Kiki Monique
No, for adults. It was like you it’s called the baby food diet. And you just like eat baby food.
Hoja Lopez
So it’s like a liquid diet essentially are like a mashed diet. A pre-chewed food diet, what?
Mohanad Elshieky
That is so weird to me. I’ve never been like you know what I wish I looked like, a baby.
Hoja Lopez
I’m gonna tell you right now Mohanad there are women out there that are like you know what? I wish I looked like a baby, I know in my heart and my soul that there’s women out there.
Kiki Monique
Her whole, first of all the fact that like in this article they say she’s like five foot 90 pounds it’s already looks like feels like a baby to me like I definitely know I’ve held a 90 pound baby, and like her goal and when working out with people is to get them, she says Hollywood thin, Hollywood thin is their thing and it’s like thin but muscular which again can be very baby like if you know if you’re a certain kind of baby,
Hoja Lopez
Just bizarre.
Kiki Monique 22:07
I want to get back to because underneath this like Hollywood, Gwyneth Paltrow, buddy person is I think there’s a scammer back there in my personal opinion, because she you know, she was born in Indiana like she gets married really young, she actually got married to like a basketball player. And then she starts this these like studios in Indiana. Long story short she needs she decides she wants to build these machines. And these are the machines that she turns into these hybrid machines that Gwyneth is the first to try. So she finds this like engineer dude, you know, who builds this machine. She never pays him. She owes him. He like, you know, so she never pays him, but then convinces him to invest in her company. So he starts putting in like, all this money and then they start dating. They’re still both married, But then they start dating. And long story short, she gets these clients she gets Gwyneth and Madonna and according to him, she ditches him. So then he ended up filing like a million dollar lawsuit about her basically saying that she took advantage of him and he had to claim bankruptcy and like I will say I hate about that part of the story is that everyone that quoted this lawsuit kept saying, and Tracy used her feminine wiles to take advantage of this man, I’m like, stop it. This man was fully aware that he was giving money to this woman and he was getting something with her. It’s like stop acting like she was like, used her feminine wiles.
Hoja Lopez
Yeah, fully sentient grown man, whose feminine wiles. So stupid.
Kiki Monique
But okay, but the funniest part of it all is this man clearly was, I feel like he was just like a spurned lover, right. Like he was mad that Tracy kind of went on, did her own thing. And when I was looking at him, his name is hold on. We find his name; I think his name is Glynn Barber. Glynn Barber is his name. So Glynn Barber is like the ex-boyfriend who felt jilted. He, you know, he had to, you know, declare bankruptcy. But when I went and searched his name, why did one of the first things that popped up was a customer review on Amazon that he left under a Tracy Anderson DVD, oh my gosh, that’s obviously selling for $5 because, you know, DVDs, hot commodities, a $5 Tracy Anderson, this review is from January 2009. And he basically it sounds like he was sending letters to Gwyneth and Madonna. Please listen to this review. He’s like, it is quite interesting that both of you Gwyneth and Madonna as if Gwyneth and Madonna are reading the Amazon comments section of the DVD, have endorsed Tracy Anderson is a product and neither of you with all of your resources did any due diligence before doing so. I hope at the very least, that this gets the attention of a few fact finders and attorneys within your organization’s before someone gets hurt and demands the study and research materials trying to prove negligence. I don’t want either of you to suffer any significant loss or repercussion stemming from your association with Tracy or Eric Anderson. I encourage everyone, anyone, to investigate these facts and the realizations I have provided an attempt to discredit even one. Do you realize the real story here is sad, a young woman so warped, so insecure for inabilities that she resorts to try to ruin the lives of philanthropic and caring human beings for the benefit of only herself? Do you realize I promote the success of others as a way of life? And I wish you Gwyneth, you Madonna and even Tracy Anderson success attained legally and honestly and with integrity. This isn’t the place to go into detail about my journey. While I’ve been associated with Tracy Anderson. This a brief reality of a day of the life of one of Tracy and Eric Anderson’s many victims. My name is Glynn Barber. I can be reached it via email.
Mohanad Elshieky 26:24
Please reach out to that this man. Also, this is the line that impresses me the most from this review, and I hope that anyone from the January 6th committee is listening right now. Reach out to Madonna’s fact finders, they can help you. Apparently she has people who do nothing but find facts. And this man demands that they do their job. That’s right. Please hire them.
Kiki Monique
That’s right. Oh my god. So yeah. Tracy Anderson. She let’s see; you know this. I hope this if okay, this is going to be a case in LA they filed it in California. I would love to be called to jury duty for this. I will probably get dismissed if I am. But that would be a fun case to sit in.
Mohanad Elshieky
Absolutely.
Kiki Monique
Have you ever been watching physical on Apple TV?
Hoja Lopez
I love physical. It’s so good.
Kiki Monique
I just feel like this could be very physical. I don’t know. I haven’t finished watching.
Hoja Lopez
It’s good. It’s like Rose Byrne and a bunch of other great people. But she plays a really great character y’all. Everybody should check it out. Because it’s a really great show. And I think she’s brilliant in it. Second season just came out too. So and talking about TV shows that Emmy nominations came out, I’m so excited. I’m so excited about this. Ideas like what obviously succession is just jerking ourselves off with all these like. It’s a bit hazy after those came out.
Mohanad Elshieky
Yeah, but we’ll say at least you know, Abbott Elementary is nominated.
Kiki Monique 28:06
Are you friends with Janelle James because we got to get her on the show before she […]
Mohanad Elshieky
We’ve done shows together. I wouldn’t I wouldn’t call us friends. I don’t think she would.
Hoja Lopez
What if she considers you guys the close? What is she your brother?
Mohanad Elshieky
I think she would be offended if I came on this podcast and claimed I was friends with her when she doesn’t really know me that well. But I think she’s so fucking funny. And I’m glad she’s nominated. Cuz she’s such a good she does such a good job on on like that role. And I think this is like, maybe her first acting role too.
Kiki Monique
Well, yeah. Because yeah. And there was that story. I think she tweeted about how like, she was like, two years she had a goal. She had tweeted like, oh, I have to go on this audition. I hate auditions. And it ended up in an Abbott Elementary, and she was just like, man, like, it changed her life and it’s just so funny because yeah, I used to follow her just as a comedian and this is what I love about acting is because like the Janelle James I saw online just is so different than the one that’s been portrayed at Abbott Elementary, and that’s why she’s so good. Because she’s that versatile. I think she’s just like the most amazing character.
Mohanad Elshieky
Yeah, yeah. I do agree with her on the auditioning sucks part because my God, it’s soul sucking, it is truly. Yeah, they’re like, hey, read these lines for 30 seconds and then we will decide if you can do this whole roll.
Kiki Monique
Wait, have you been on a lot of auditions?
Mohanad Elshieky
I’ve auditioned a lot.
Kiki Monique
I did not know this. But you guys have headshots in the whole nine yards?
Hoja Lopez
Kiki, you could do it too, if you want it to.
Mohanad Elshieky
I’ll say this, is just like it’s one of those like now it’s easier because most of the industry be adapted to just auditioning from home and just sending the tape. So you can do as many takes as you want, which is good. Or you can do it on Zoom. So it’s like easier that way before like before the pandemic used to go to some office in the middle of Manhattan somewhere, and then you just audition in person and you can, you know, you don’t have, you have to memorize your lines and all of that shit. And it was soul crushing, because you’re just, like, more than once I would go and I’m just like, the second day like, okay, start talking. Like, I do not remember a single line.
Hoja Lopez 30:29
Single fucking word.
Kiki Monique
I thought, like, I would be really good at memorizing lines. But anytime I’m even just doing like a quick like, TikTok video or whatever, I’m like we’ll read a line. And I’m like, I don’t remember shit. Why can I remember one fucking line?
Mohanad Elshieky
Yeah, I mean, the key is to be like, is for it to become like, natural, you know, just comes out, like you’re not. But the thing is, like, because most of these auditions, you literally get it. And they’re like, Okay, tomorrow, you have to do it, you don’t have the time to kind of like, you know, you have an idea of what it is. But while you’re saying it, you’re aware of the words coming out of your mouth. And you’re like, and you’re already thinking about the next word as well. So it’s just like, you know, it’s kind of soul crushing. And also, like, you get, like, some auditions that I got, you read it, and you’re like, okay, I mean, I know why you sent this to me. It just says, this person is like, literally just like vaguely Middle Eastern and North African, whatever. And it is this and that. I’m just like, I mean, I am not, I’m never gonna get this. Because I know this is not the person you’re imagining. And his agenda has been sent to me anyway. And it’s, you get a lot of weird things like that.
Hoja Lopez
I get a lot of cleaning ladies and mothers. And I just flat out reject, like, I would say, 75% of all the auditions that I get maybe 85% of all.
Kiki Monique
Because don’t you all have to start? I mean, don’t you have to start from somewhere?
Hoja Lopez
Yeah, but I just don’t care about that. If I’m not, I’m not going to claw my way American Express commercial by American Express commercial to do the things that I want to do.
Mohanad Elshieky 32:11
Like Kiki, like the whole like, like start somewhere I get that, you obviously want to start somewhere for sure. Like, you’re not gonna get like a leading role from like an audition. But then that doesn’t really apply to like most of like, the, like White actresses and actors that I know, like, who are like, their first role is a major role. And they did not have to start anywhere. And they get me get it because they fit. And then you have to just settle with these like meaningless roles that are just like, make you do stuff. They are just like; This feels morally wrong. Because I get like, sometimes they’re like, so your character. You’re an immigrant, I’m like cool, I am that and then you have an accent and you’re like, okay, cool. I do have an accent and you’re like, okay, your accent is like, not thick enough to just like, make it like, make it sound like you’re like, you know, you’re not really good. I’m like, no, but like, you know, a lot of people like this is like 2022 a lot of people like know how to speak English really well, even though they’ve never lived here like no, but we want a thicker I’m like, I’m just gonna do my accent like I talk. Maybe this is a new image that we need now that people can like, you know, we’re like, literally in a globalized world now, people like know how to speak English, they have never lived here.
Kiki Monique
It’s surprising to hear that, but also not surprising to hear that, but I will say that, like one of the, one of my favorite parts about the Emmy nomination was that Lizzo had like six nominations, and I mean, if her reality show was dope, and you know, there was you know, but it’s just like, what I see, I just see myself and Lizzo. So when Lizzo does something I’m like, I can do it too. Even though I can’t sing, I can’t dance. I can’t do it. I can do it, too.
Hoja Lopez 34:02
I feel very similarly. And it’s I always to go back to the representation but which is so hard because technically, we’re offering representation when I play cleaning lady like technically, yeah, I’m a maybe a Latina on a television show. But I don’t need that. I don’t need that. And I will say I feel like the careers of the people that I admire the most that I think are doing the greatest, usually start in comedy and end up getting cast on a TV show, acting. And that is I think the route that I would rather take versus the commercial route because it’s just if you already don’t fit the format, you know, if you already aren’t a Tracy Anderson, then it can be really hard, I think to get back into a space where you’re going for like target ads and American Express ads. They’ve got a really specific type of person that they hire.
Kiki Monique
Tiny blonde women win everything.
Hoja Lopez
Okay, so we have something coming up. We don’t know we haven’t heard this listener apology. We don’t know what it is. So I’m excited to go through it. We have Alex, our producer here, who is going to surprise us with this. And she’s gonna read this apology out loud. And apparently there’s collateral material that we have to check out as well. So Alex, take it away. I cannot wait.
Alex McOwen
Hello, everyone. Yes, this listener apology is very exciting. It comes with a photo. So this is gonna be huge. And Mohanad you actually previewed it a bit, probably on purpose earlier. You said serial killers are for boomers, I think you said. Something along those lines. So this listener apology comes from a listener named Julie and Julie wrote, I am a fucking fine ass right in tight fit, 61 year old Jamaican Cuban woman who just got the job of her dreams last year. And I am so tired of you painting quote, boomers with the same brush. It’s such low hanging fruit. Honestly, you guys sometimes I get so upset listening to people in their 30s I expect this shit from 20 year old kids but my God by the time you’re in your mid to late 30s have a little perspective. So I say all that to say you owe me, Julie A Bailey an apology. And I’m just going to share this photo with you all.
Hoja Lopez 36:50
Julie, she’s so beautiful.
Kiki Monique
She’s looks hotter than me. That’s for sure. Way better.
Hoja Lopez
Oh my god. The shoulders are popping. She’s got necklace. There’s a thick rimmed glasses and a shortcut.
Kiki Monique
Okay, it’s like a skims a very Kim Kardashian skims outfit happening.
Hoja Lopez
Y’all we’re getting called out.
Kiki Monique
Well, look, I’m gonna say that for you too, because I always preface any I don’t like to use Boomer. I think I said that. And I said like the only time I used it was like, because I knew it was wrong. But if I did, if I did use it incorrectly. I’m sorry, Julie because I try not to, I love I am not an ageist, I love all ages.
Mohanad Elshieky
Okay, no, you know, can I say something? I think Julie first of all looks amazing. And thank you for sending the picture. And I’m sorry for using the word Boomer in that way. But I know we’re not supposed to be saved. But after an apology. And I’ll say this though, to me, the word Boomer does not mean someone who’s in the age category of a boomer if that makes sense. To me, Boomer is a mentality versus age. Cuz like for, for example, Tomi Lahren, who is on who’s a Fox News anchor or whatever? She is my age or younger, I think. To me, Tomi Lahren is a boomer.
Hoja Lopez 38:23
Okay, fair. Yeah, I was gonna say something really similar. It’s sort of like how Karen doesn’t mean all like White women. It means a specific subset of a mentality of a woman; you know what I mean?
Kiki Monique
You know, what, it’s ironic is that Candace Owens is both a Karen and a boomer.
Hoja Lopez
Intersectionality is important to talk about.
Mohanad Elshieky
I’m trying to think of like someone who’s like older who was like, you know, like […]
Hoja Lopez
Like, Larry Sanders is not a boomer?
Mohanad Elshieky
You know, I was thinking about Bernie Sanders right now. And to me, Bernie Sanders is not a boomer, even though he is like, like, you know, like in his 70s, he is not a boomer. But there are people younger than me who I consider to be boomers. So that’s what I’m saying. I think it’s more of I think it’s a more of a mentality versus and age thing.
Hoja Lopez
I agree with that. But Julie, I definitely understand where she’s coming from. She doesn’t want to be lumped in; you know what I mean?
Mohanad Elshieky
Julie, you’re absolutely not in that category. You’re great. And also you listen to this podcast. So that by itself is you know, says so much about you. You have good taste.
Hoja Lopez
And also, I’m so happy that you got your dream job. That’s so badass, right?
Mohanad Elshieky
Hell yeah.
Kiki Monique
That’s amazing.
Hoja Lopez
That is very, very cool. Well, Julie, I’m glad we clarified we did I’m sorry, but you but I hope that that’s okay. And thank you for listening. What about us?
Mohanad Elshieky 40:12
Okay, now we move to my favorite segment that we do every week, which is sorry, not sorry, where we either the man that apology from someone or we apologize. And like every week I’m gonna start with Hoja.
Hoja Lopez
Yeah, so I have a, I guess I would like to require an apology. And I’ll require I’m gonna require an apology from all the people whose love language is gift giving, because I don’t believe in it. I think it’s a bad love language and I’m really struggling with it. And I get that getting and receiving gifts is good, but doesn’t it just feel a little I’ll call it like a little greedy, just a little, like, wanna sing versus all the other ones that are so lovely. So I would like an apology from all my gift giving love language friends, who if I don’t get them something then they feel slighted.
Mohanad Elshieky
Yeah, I think if they’re weird to me, because I’m always like, I feel like just asked me what I need. And just give me that. You know, seriously..
Hoja Lopez
If you want to give me, just what do we need?
Mohanad Elshieky
Yeah, like I need, like, I like I literally just want you to give me something that I need. And something that I’m going to use. I also like, you know, like, it’s like, sometimes it’s nice to give some, like, you know, like to get something that like is sentimental that you can keep and all of that I get that in some, you know, in some aspects of life. But for the most part, I just need something that I’m gonna use, you know, literally, if you give me a coffeemaker, that’s great. You know?
Kiki Monique
Only if it makes hot coffee, I guess.
Mohanad Elshieky
Yeah, exactly. If it makes iced coffee, you know, I’m just gonna throw it out of the window. Just saying. Well, Kiki, what’s happening with you this week?
Kiki Monique 42:00
You know, I want an apology from the ex-friend or an ex-friend who, back in the day, this is from years and years ago, I’m talking like early 2000s. It was shortly after I realized I had over plucked my eyebrows because you know, in the early 2000s, like, thin eyebrows were in, I could never get it fully like Pamela Anderson look like it just never looks right on me. And I always plucked it in the wrong place. And I remember when I realized that my eyebrows looked garbage, I asked my friend, like, will they ever grow back and she was like, no. And I believed that, I was so terrified. Because I would like an apology because they did grow back. Now they didn’t grow back quite the same. They always had like little patchy areas. But you know, one of the great perks of our job is that we get to try amazing things all the time. And like, you know, I always want to make sure it’s like work before I like tell other people about it. But we, you and I OHA got to try this Rivella eyebrow serum. And I was like, Alright, cool. I’m gonna try this on my eyebrows and see if like, I can fill these patches in because like, even though the eyebrows did grow back, mostly, I still have to do like the fill in, right. And like, every morning, that’s just like, kind of annoying when you have to, like, get a pencil out, especially when I’m doing like, you know, TikTok’s or whatever. I was like, I just want to fill it in. And also I’ve been using it for like, maybe 30 days, and I don’t know if you guys can tell but like, there’s like no patches. […] areas and like I have like full on just like, look, I can do like the rock, like I’m doing this. Anyways, they’re really friggin cool. But you know what the best part of this brand is like, and this is why I like to promote brands like this is because, you know, you take a picture, I took a picture of myself, like the day one when I started. And they say like, if you know, take a picture or selfie of yourself that first day. And then after 90 days, if you don’t see results, they’ll just give you your money back. Which is like, that’s […]. I mean, this company, it was kind of cool. So it’s like a Harvard and MIT scientists who created the serum, and they actually had been working on cancer research, well during Covid, their labs closed and so they did they had to save it. And so they started working on hair revival serums and so they have one for your hair, they have some for your hair. I mean my hair I will say on the top of my hair is pretty good. But they have one for your eyebrows. So you know been using one for the eyebrows. It’s really cool. They also you can check out other you know, before and after photos on their website, but Rivella I’m going to say that this works you know I’m always skeptical of the of the of the hair regrowth serums you know because I’m a 90s baby I remember these infomercials, hair revival, hair regrowth has come a long way and yeah, Rivela is legit.
Hoja Lopez
I’m just deathly scared of getting it any other place except for my eyebrow so I’m very carefully applied and make sure that I’m not just like hairy eyelids. I guess those are called eyelashes. Anyways. But I have very thick eyebrows but same as patchy and it’s been awesome. But yeah, you should require an apology from your friend because she made you lose hope when you didn’t need to lose hope, you just have to wait 15 years and have this product come out. So listen, old Kiki friend. Fuck you for being such a, for being a hater. For being a big, big hater bitch.
Mohanad Elshieky 46:00
Just absolutely fucking roasted.
Kiki Monique
Oh my god,
Hoja Lopez
what about you know,
Mohanad Elshieky
I honestly just need and I know this is like a very hard apology to get. But the Instagram algorithm, I feel like now it’s bullying me at this point. Like, I don’t know what I have said or what have I done for a TV showing me the stuff that has shown like now most of the stuff I’m being shown our videos like my Instagram has turned into TikTok now, and it’s various from people I don’t follow and it’s mostly stand-up comedians who are not doing jokes or doing crowd work. And I’m sure that you’re familiar with crowd work, Kiki you are too? Is you’re not doing jokes. You’re just talking to the crowd.
Hoja Lopez
It’s essentially, it’s like crowd surfing. But with jokes, you know?
Mohanad Elshieky
Exactly. Yeah. I mean, it’s very, very generous of you to say jokes, because most of these crowd work baits or do not have jokes. I am so tired of seeing people who are like bad at crowd work, do crowd work, and Instagram is serving me that. I do not need to see someone on stage holding a mic asking people in the crowd, what they’re doing for work, how long they’ve been together. And if anyone has a birthday today.
Hoja Lopez
Or have you ever heard this guy knows what I’m talking about? That guy, or that lady knows what I’m talking about.
Mohanad Elshieky
That guy is just sitting in the front. He has no idea what you’re saying.
Kiki Monique
And people are making whole like reels and TikTok about this?
Mohanad Elshieky
Like uploading it and I’m just like, and I’m like, buddy, just write some jokes. What are you doing? Like, you know who should be working? The comedian. Are you paying these people to work? Why are you making them work? […] should not be working. I have never been to a stand-up comedy show and thought to myself. I wonder what this guy who paid $20 for a ticket thinks.
Hoja Lopez
Yeah, they all owe you an apology. The comedians uploading the reel, the algorithm from IG but then also just, you know, people who aren’t writing the jokes that you want.
Mohanad Elshieky 48:05
Just write jokes like, I don’t even have to like them. I just have to be like, well, this is a joke.
Hoja Lopez
You guys, what a joy to talk to you guys. What a joy to ask for apologies of the world. We’ve done nothing wrong and we should be proud of it.
CREDITS
I’M SORRY is a Lemonada Media Original. The show is produced by Alex McOwen, supervising producer is Kryssy Pease. Our executive producers are Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Our mix is by Kat Yore and theme music was composed by Xander Singh. If you like this show, please rate and review. And please don’t cancel us. You can find out more about our show at @LemonadaMedia on all social platforms, or follow us on Instagram at @imsorry_podcast. We’ll be back next week and until then be nice, play fair and always say I’m sorry. Thanks for listening!
