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Julia Louis-Dreyfus is about to officially graduate from midlife. At 63, she can confidently say that the last thirty years were… great, actually! Is it because she won multiple Emmys? Or maybe because she called out age biases in Hollywood by starring in Amy Schumer’s Last F*ckable Day? Well, along with these milestones, Julia suffered a ton of loss and hardship in her 50s. So why does she say it’s her best decade? It’s all about the mindset. Plus, why Julia has 15,000 unread emails in her inbox — and doesn’t care.

Find Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Instagram @officialjld and listen to her podcast, Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Priscilla Smith, Old Recording, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Reshma Saujani

Priscilla Smith  01:17

Midlife is a clusterfuck if I’m going to be really honest, at 51 years old, I’m starting to navigate the ebbs and flows of the unknown. What it looks like for me now is kissing my husband of 25 years Good night at about eight o’clock at night, hiding into my separate bedroom where I need to have the AC set at 61 degrees due to my hot flashes. It’s not knowing what Priscilla is going to show up today. It is being seen as an expert in your field, because you work so hard in your career and raising these amazing human beings are out doing what they want to do, but at the same time finding peace in being alone and knowing that everything is going to kind of be okay.

 

Reshma Saujani  02:06

Welcome to my so called midlife a podcast where we figure out how to stop just getting through it and start actually living it. I’m Reshma Saujani. Okay, I’m what they call a high achieving woman. But what woman isn’t what it looks like for me is I’m the founder of two nonprofits, girls who coded moms first I got a great guy, two incredible kids, a cute dog. I’ve written best selling books, but, and, yes, there is a but, I wake up every day wondering, is this it? This is something my girlfriends and I talk about all the time, enduring the midlife the kids, the deadlines, the waistlines, the schedules, the aging pairs and the husbands. I feel like all of us midlifers are either dead inside because there’s no room for our thoughts or feelings, or we’re pressing the nuclear button. We’re just blowing shit up because we want to escape it. I mean, you’ve read all fours, right? Where’s my hotel room for me? Midlife hit me like a ton of bricks. I turned 42 my soul dog died. My hormones went wild. There was no third baby. My body was changing, and nobody was buying me drinks at the bar. Meanwhile, my husband I are fighting over who’s taking out the trash, and it’s me. It’s always me. I found myself mourning this whole era of my life that I had totally taken for granted. So look, this podcast is my attempt at turning it all around. Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna figure this out together. Week over week, I’m collecting tips and tricks to make us not just get through this part of our life, but actually live it, from how I love my body to how I find out what I really want in life, because I’m determined to make midlife the best fucking time of my life. I so for today’s very first episode, I’m going to the source. We’re going to talk to a woman who’s done exactly what we’re looking to do, take midlife by the reins, Julia Louis Dreyfus. Let me tell you all during her midlife she experienced some shit loss, cancer, and she still says it was the best time of her life, not to mention that’s also when she crushed her career in Veep. And this year, get this, she’s in the Marvel Universe in a bodysuit for fuck sake at 63 Julia sets a different tone for midlife, one of possibility of thriving, of joy, plus, she’s just the Yoda of aging. For the last year, in some change, she’s been talking to women over 70 on her award winning podcast, wiser than me. Women like Jane Goodall and Amy Tan are telling her what it feels like to have lived 7080, 90 years of life. And you know what? They’re all so cool. Calm, relax and just fucking happy. So today I’m gonna figure out how we get to that centered, easy place sooner, and how to get the most out of our midlifes.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  05:16

Hello.

 

Reshma Saujani  05:17

Hi, Julia, nice to meet you.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  05:19

Hi, nice to meet you too.

 

Reshma Saujani  05:21

This can be fun. I’m so fucking excited. Let’s do it.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  05:24

Let’s do it.

 

Reshma Saujani  05:25

All right, so I want to talk about getting to know your body again. I know super fun way to start, but truthfully, midlife is like a second adolescence. I want to show you your iconic 2014, Rolling Stone cover, I’m going to describe it for people. You’re 53 Yeah, you’re not wearing any clothes, we see your back tatted up with the Constitution. Your hair’s down. It’s flowy. You’re looking over your shoulder. I mean, it’s just incredible.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  05:53

Well, thank you.

 

Reshma Saujani  05:54

You’re exuding in confidence that I don’t feel right now. Were you nervous?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  05:59

Very it’s funny because Mark Zeliger, the wonderful, extraordinary photographer, Mark Seliger, with whom I’ve worked a number of times, as a matter of fact, took this and there have been more than one occasions that I’m in a photo studio with him, and the next thing you know, I’m taking my clothes off. And that is not, by the way, who I am. Personally, I’m just not, and I also didn’t realize that so much of my ass was going to be on this. But anyway, I trusted him to do me okay, and it was, I mean, I like the concept.

 

Reshma Saujani  06:36

Was this your idea for the cover? Or did someone have to convince you to do it?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  06:40

I want to say it was my idea. I think I was trying. We were trying to come up with concept. I think, I think it was my idea. Mark Seliger would have to confirm that anyway, so it was either his or mine. But We conferred prior to this, because we had to get somebody to do this pretend tattoo on my back, which took a lot of time to get that right, by the way.

 

Reshma Saujani  07:03

I can’t imagine, and I feel like this cover just shifted the conversation about aging and sexiness, because you are undeniably hot.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  07:13

Oh god, thank you so much. I’m not sure it really shifted the conversation. Do you really think that? I’m not sure.

 

Reshma Saujani  07:19

I do think it shifted the conversation. I think it started a trend of older women accepting their bodies, feeling more comfortable, feeling sexy in their middle age. Did they have to convince you to do this cover? Or were you just game?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  07:33

You know, if there’s a really good concept for a photo shoot, often there is not. Often there is no concept, or there is an incredibly shitty concept. That’s when I lose my mind. That’s when I am very anxious. But if there’s a solid idea, and I think this was a solid idea, I can I’m game. And that’s how I felt that day. I was game.

 

Reshma Saujani  07:53

You’re a game. So that kind of brings me to to the last fuckable day. So this is a sketch, right, that airs in 2015, one year after this cover.

 

Old Recording  08:02

Is it someone’s birthday or kind of the opposite? We’re celebrating Julia’s last fuckable day. Salud, what is that

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  08:13

In every actress’s life, the media decides when you finally reach the point where you’re not believably fuckable anymore.

 

Reshma Saujani  08:20

You’re in your early 50s, and this skin is like one year after the Rolling Stone cover? And listen, I’m almost there, and I’m often thinking, like, I’m just not as sexy or fuckable as I once was. Was this the kind of stuff that was on your mind?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  08:36

Actually, it wasn’t on my mind. It was it this was all Amy Schumer’s idea. Amy Schumer wrote the sketch, and Nicole Hollis center, who’s an incredible film director and writer with whom I’ve worked a number of times now, was directing this particular sketch, and she called me and she said, Would you do it? And I said, it sounded hilarious, absolutely. But what was so weird was that halfway through, I started to think, Wait, what’s going on here? Are we making fun of this? Because it’s true, and I had this sort of weird crisis of confidence, like, am I not relevant anymore? What’s that’s really what it was. It wasn’t so much fuckability, although fuckability, unfortunately, is very much linked to relevancy for women. So all of a sudden I did have this weird, sort of out of body experience, of sort of having a weird lack of confidence, but, you know, other, other, but we got through, I got through it.

 

Reshma Saujani  09:45

I mean, is this the first time you felt the lack of confidence?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  09:48

Yeah, it was weird. I’d never felt that before. I still don’t feel that way. I don’t I feel relevant and, you know, ready? For Action Jackson, I mean I, and I don’t mean I’m not talking about it. I don’t mean it like sexually, I just mean as a human being, I’ve got a lot more to do, and I’ve got a lot more to to say, and I want to be a part of a lot more and, and I feel that very profoundly.

 

Reshma Saujani  10:20

As you’re going but I still, like I told you, right, struggle with the changes that are happening in my body and physically, and also because the the aspiration of or the definition of beauty is someone who’s 20 years younger no matter how good you look, did you feel like in your midlife you were still chasing youth?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  10:40

I don’t know if I would call it chasing youth so much as I would call it vanity. I think there’s a difference there, you know, like, I mean, I put makeup on to talk to you today. That’s a vanity thing. You know? It’s funny. I was recently I saw, I don’t know if this is true, by the way, it probably isn’t. I saw it on Instagram, so it’s probably totally false, but there was some study out there saying, like, at 44 and at 60, did you see this, that there’s, there’s, like, a shift.

 

Reshma Saujani  11:11

Yeah, 44 and 60 are the two modes where everything goes off the rails.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  11:15

Physically, there’s a big shift aging. Yes, maybe that’s true. I I’m not here. I’m not positing that as a fact, but I saw that and I thought, oh, isn’t that interesting, huh? I kind of see it. I mean, having, having had really serious illness, bring it. Let’s go. I’m so happy to be living I’m here with it. I also say this, I have a mom who’s really vibrant. She’s 90, and she’s very beautiful, but she looks 90. It she looks like, great, 90, okay, and, um, occasionally I’ll look at something on my bottom say, Oh my god. That looks just like mommy’s arm, you know? Or, wow that is wild that does not look like how I think my let you know, whatever it is.

 

Reshma Saujani  12:06

Yeah, your legs or your hand looks like.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  12:08

Yeah, exactly. But then I but I have a kind of pride in that, because I really admire my mother, and in so many ways I want to be just like her, and that’s always been the case, so I think kind of that’s helpful to me for understanding these changes.

 

Reshma Saujani  12:28

Yeah, I also feel like you’re a little like me, like, I I like to call bullshit, yeah. And as I’ve been doing this project, I’m like, oh my god, we’re being conned. Like, Why is it only for women that the mirror works in reverse, but for men, the older you get your George Clooney, you’re hot, you know, salt and pepper, amazing, right? It’s yeah, the same exact physical things happen, right? The wrinkles on your hands or your legs or your face on a man are seen and described as being sexy appealing, yeah. But for us, it’s different. And and who, who decided that, and it’s as I’ve been nerding out about this, just historically. I mean, this has been going on since the 1900s.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  13:11

Yeah, and the social media of it all is a nightmare, and it’s a nightmare for young women in particular. That’s a bear to push back against. So it’s weird, because to a certain extent, I think it’s better than ever for women, and then to another and then in the same breath, I’ll say it’s worse.

 

Reshma Saujani  13:32

Yeah, it’s it’s both you.

 

Reshma Saujani  16:39

Somebody was sharing a statistic how, like, one of the reasons why women retire earlier than men is menopause.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  16:45

That women are retiring because they go through menopause.

 

Reshma Saujani  16:47

Yeah, isn’t that wild? It’s like they feel like shit, they can’t function, and so they can’t work.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  16:53

Oh, interesting. Oh, that’s such a mistake.

 

Reshma Saujani  16:56

Yeah, you know, I think that for a lot of women, for my friends, I’ll say like, midlife feels so scary and unfulfilling, because you’re just kind of in the middle of things. And you often wonder like, is this it, or do I have the energy to chase that project, chase that dream, run for office, whatever that might be. Seinfeld ended when you were 38 which I think is a perfect example of this. This is a, you know, revolutionary mega hit, right? Made you a household name, and now you’re staring down your 40s, and you got two kids a marriage at that moment. Are you worried about what’s coming next? Like, in hindsight, your career then, source, right? Christine Veep, but at that time, you didn’t know what was around the bend. Can you talk to me a little bit about this time and any advice that you have to get through the moments of not knowing, especially when you’re in the middle of your life, and it’s harder to have that same amount of hope, because you just got less time.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  18:05

Well, I can, I don’t know if this I mean for myself, here’s the thing about show business, which is different from other careers. It’s a it’s a gamble, and and it’s and there’s a lot of unknown, and that part of being an actor, I kind of love, I don’t know why. I mean, I’m not a gambler in in life I don’t like, actually, I hate gambling. But the like, you don’t know what’s coming around the bend, to me, is exciting. When I ended, when we finished Seinfeld and my kids were five and one, I guess, thereabouts, I was desperate to be at home. I had been working really, really long hours and full time and and wrestled with a lot of anxiety about that while having two children, and so to have an opportunity to just be home was something I was really laser focused on, yeah, but at the same time, I knew I wasn’t done. It wasn’t like I thought, Okay, now I’m gonna, you know, hang, hang up my skates, and I’m finished. I just knew I needed a pause, and you wanted that and and I took, I took the pause, not for super long, frankly, but I took it for a couple years before I jumped back in.

 

Reshma Saujani  19:32

I want to get back to what you just said, because I find it really fascinating, interesting. I relate to it, the sense of that, like the uncertainty, is actually exciting. Like, the unknown is what keeps you alive. It makes you feel more alive. How do you do how can you feel that way when you’re like, not an actor, not waiting about your next potential gig? Like, what is that? To what is that about?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  20:01

Well, I just think it has to do with the the happiness I find in the work that I do. And not everyone can find joy in their work, and I recognize that. But if it’s possible to do, it must be if it’s possible to do, it should be embraced. Because at the end of the day, what the fuck else is there, right? And so I think that’s really what I’m talking about, is try to have a good time with the time you’ve got baby. I mean, that’s it, yeah, you know, I know attorneys who who love the work they do and embrace it. I mean, for real, you know, one of my dearest friends is a First Amendment attorney, and she just loves it, and is great at it, and is still powering up in that game, you know, powering in, being a powerful force in that game. And I don’t know, I think there’s something about trying to find the joy, if it’s possible, if you’re lucky enough, right?

 

Reshma Saujani  21:01

Sometimes it also helps too, when you have someone who’s like your cheerleader. So like, for me, that’s like my husband, right? He believes me more than I believe in myself. And that’s good, right? I feel like you have that too with Brad. Who were those people for you?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  21:14

My husband, for sure, without question, that’s it. And of course there, it’s not like other people haven’t been supportive in my life. They have been, but I rely on His judgment and his take on things completely and totally.

 

Reshma Saujani  21:36

Yeah, all right, so finding your joy and finding your people, I have listened to all of your episodes of wiser than me, okay? And I literally, through my headphones, can feel like you’re awe about the boldness of like the women you interviewed. And I wanted to ask you, like, are you ready to be done with midlife so you can just get there? Are you ready for that third act?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  22:00

No, I’m not. I feel, you know, the trope is true that life goes by much faster. So, yeah, I’d like to slow things down, not because I’m afraid of being older, but because I want to enjoy life for as long as possible, if that makes sense.

 

Reshma Saujani  22:23

Yeah, so many of the women you interviewed right at their youngest or 70, and they’re on the other side of being middle age, and they’ve really, like, figured their shit out, and I want to be there, and I don’t want to wait till I’m 70 to get there. And what was so interesting is that one of the things they did have in common, right? That so many of them said that their favorite decade was in their 50s, yeah, and they say stuff like slowed down, but they keep saying 50s was their best. And you have also said that 50s was your favorite decade.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  22:57

Yes.

 

Reshma Saujani  22:58

What was it about your 50s that resonated so powerfully for you?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  23:02

I think I was just incredibly comfortable in my own skin. I felt very confident. And by the way, I understand something, I had breast cancer in my 50s, and I had to walk through that shit show, which was really difficult. And yet I still say my 50s were pretty great. By the way, I’m in my early 60s now, and not so bad, although I will say one thing that’s hard about being in this decade is that you start to lose people that you’re close to, and there are health issues that come up for those that are dear to you. And so that’s a new wrinkle that I hadn’t sort of the parenting of parents and the taking care of loved ones in that sense, you know, I mean, God knows, if you’re lucky, or in this position, but it’s very difficult. But anyway, yes, back to your question, 50s dynamite, and I also really liked the work I was doing in my 50s. I was really enjoying a lot, and that helped too. I was artistically, very gratified.

 

Reshma Saujani  24:18

I totally hear that in some ways, I feel that, professionally, there’s still so much that I want to do, but I physically feel like shit. You do, yeah, I physically feel like shit. I am exhausted. No, I’m in a sandwich generation. So I have a four year old and nine year old and, like, two geriatric, 80 year old parents who need a lot. So that could be a little bit of it, but I do have to sense that, like the best of my life is behind me that head.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  24:45

Oh, no, you’re wrong. You’re wrong. Do you exactly how you feel?

 

Reshma Saujani  24:50

I do.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  24:52

Oh, I hope you change your point of view.

 

Reshma Saujani  24:54

Maybe in two years I will, because you’re I mean, I’m feeling more hopeful about 50s. But is it? All rose colored glasses. Like, when you’re 75 you’re like, Yeah, 50 was like, amazing.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  25:06

Well, I don’t know. I mean, it varies from person to person, but, I mean, I know it’s hard to have young kids and stuff, but I mean, it is hard to have young kids. I’m gonna sound trophy, but you’re gonna see, it’s gonna be over lickety split, and you will be like, what the hell you know, the days are long, the years fly by, and you know, nine years from now, you’re gonna be taking your nine year old to college. Now that’s nuts, right? I mean, it’s hard to imagine that, but nine years is like, soon.

 

Reshma Saujani  25:44

Part of it is like, for a lot of the guests on your show, they they say that that was also the time as they got older that they stopped being the good girl, like they stopped living for other people, like, yeah, and I still, I feel like, at 48 struggle with that. Like, I canceled the dinner last night, I keep I keep feeling guilty about about it, and that they have this sense when they let go of being these people pleasers and these good girls, that they have this moment of liberation. Did that moment happen for you?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  26:15

It’s happening for me, and I totally empathize with the anxiety you’re feeling about canceling the dinner last night. That’s something that I wrestle with, that that people pleasing thing to but it’s less for me now than it was, and so maybe that’s just a matter of just more cancelations. You just have to cancel a few more times. You start to get comfortable with it, you know, it’s okay.

 

Reshma Saujani  26:42

Is there a tactic? Is there’s like, what, what shifted? Was it just that, like, when you canceled, like your your worst nightmare didn’t come true?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  26:48

Well, the people that matter to me, number one, would certainly understand if I had to cancel for whatever the reason is. And if they don’t understand. I’ve come to realize that that’s certainly not my problem.

 

Reshma Saujani  27:06

How did you learn how to set boundaries for me? I used to pride myself on inbox zero. Okay, people found me on LinkedIn and emailed me. I always replied back, and it just it became exhausting, and so I stopped doing it, and that was a boundary I set up for myself. Do you have something like that?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  27:25

Well, can I tell you something that I have over 15,000 unread emails?

 

Reshma Saujani  27:28

So you clearly have that?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  27:32

And every now and again, I think, Oh, God, I should go through these. And then I’m like, and I start to and I start to, delete, delete, delete. And a lot of its crap, you know, junk. But I can’t, it’s too much. So it’s, I’m okay with it, yeah? I feel like I’m hesitatingly okay with it.

 

Reshma Saujani  27:51

Yeah, I feel like the term I saw you use is DGAF. Don’t Give A fFuck.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  27:56

I mean, I wouldn’t say I’m not quite there, but let’s just say I haven’t made a move to clean all this stuff out. I could, I guess, just go through it and erase it all. Just just throw everything out. But then I worry about getting rid of stuff that I actually need. So I don’t know.

 

Reshma Saujani  29:58

So life in the middle is hard because you’re really busy and it’s hard to be present, hard to find time to enjoy the gifts that you had. One of the one of the things I loved about your Sally Field interview is she talks about the importance of having these quiet moments. And she said, you know, lots of times people get stuck like they didn’t. They don’t get over the trauma that happened to them when they were young. They don’t get over the hangups that they had because they haven’t had that moment to just sit, reflect and almost unlearn. Did you take it? Was that your takeaway too, from what she said?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  32:01

Yeah, she talked, if I recall correctly, she talked about those kinds of burdens, like a sweater that you can’t take off and you’re boiling and you can’t take it off. And I thought that was an incredible metaphor and absolutely true. And I’m a big believer in meditation, the quieting of the mind, I think is useful. I’ve done it. I don’t do it the way I used to do it, but I do, I do meditate with some frequency, and it’s very useful for that quiet mind, yeah, which is good for the brain, yeah. And it’s good for stress levels. And by the way, anything you can do to for true deal with stress like really is a good idea, because it’s, I am certain that it will hasten an end. It’s not good. It’s not good physically. And obviously there’s lots of medical information to support that, but anything you can do to reduce those cortisol levels is a good thing, and meditation falls into that category.

 

Reshma Saujani  33:18

When do you start doing that?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  33:20

Oh, gosh, when mid 50s, I think?

 

Reshma Saujani  33:27

Did you, as you have gotten older, did your envision Wayne? Or has it grown?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  33:33

I’d say it’s become more laser focused. It’s still, I still have ferocious ambition, but it is more directed. Does that make sense?

 

Reshma Saujani  33:43

Yeah, and how did that happen?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  33:45

I think I have a better understanding of what’s worth my time, and that’s really just from experience.

 

Reshma Saujani  33:54

Yeah, I mean, some people could say you you reach such a pinnacle of success that, like, what? What more, right?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  34:02

Yeah, but I don’t consider myself that. I don’t, I don’t think of myself like that at all. I’m I want to find my next job, and I think of it like that. If that makes sense.

 

Reshma Saujani  34:16

Do you think you know what that is like? Some people be like, All right? The the end all be all my life is being present United States, or launching a podcast or writing a book, is there like a thing?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  34:27

No, that’s why I like what I do so much is that, you know, it’s a multitude of things.

 

Reshma Saujani  34:35

Yeah, and that’s, I think that’s the power of finding something that you love, because there’s not like a destination, you know, at the end.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  34:42

Yeah, it’s really the it’s really the journey of finding the good script or project and really sinking your teeth into it. That’s just thrilling.

 

Reshma Saujani  34:54

So you said that you started meditating your 50s, and in 2016 you lost your father. Sure, I’m sorry, in 2017 you win the Emmy, and the next day, you’re diagnosed with breast cancer, and that’s all happening in your 50s, but you still say, right, that is your best time, yeah, to me, like going through all those things, right? Empty nester, Losing Someone You Love, having cancer, right? That’s like the definition for so many women in their midlife it all happens at the same damn time. Yeah, and none of us are given any tools on how to handle this. So what do you take away from that time of your life that you can then, I guess gift to us?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  35:50

Well, I don’t know if I have anything to gift, except to say that I think these experiences of loss and trauma strengths were born from those experiences. So yes, it was horrible to lose my father and actually also my sister during that decade, and yet, I have learned to live with the loss, and I feel stronger for it. And same is true of having walked through this cancer diagnosis, and same is true with my kids leaving home. It’s a new way of thinking about life. I have now young adult children. I adore it. It is so fun. Wait till you say, for real. Mark my words. I’m not kidding. Wait, you are going to get such a kick out of having your boys be like in their 20s. You know, doing their thing, being these young adults with eye opening points of view, stuff like that. That’s cool and, and that’s just surface stuff, you know, yeah. And the fact that I can still, you know, carry on and take care of myself, even though my father is not on this planet, that makes me feel strong. So I think all of those things, as difficult as they were, I would have, I mean, I’d love to have skipped the cancer piece. That would have been really nice. But there you go. That’s life. I’m think I’m stronger for it.

 

Reshma Saujani  37:36

So talking with you, it’s clear you don’t share the same framing of midlife, right? My mind says I’m dune it’s all shit like, you know, nothing’s getting that, nothing’s getting better, right? So, like, how do I change my framing?

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  37:51

I can tell you’ve changed it. I don’t believe the framing that you’re telling me. I believe that you have a very upbeat and positive sense, I mean other because you’re exploring the possibilities of midlife in doing this podcast. And I think that’s wise as hell, and you will not be convinced otherwise you shouldn’t be, it’s a waste, Don’t waste your time with it, yeah, that’s what, yeah, for real, yeah.

 

Reshma Saujani  38:23

It’s like getting yourself out of these moments. So even if I wanted to take a risk or be bold, it feels impossible, because midlife is chaotic, right? But for you, you know, shit just got better as you got older. I mean, you had obstacles and challenges, but it just, it didn’t stop you.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  38:42

It’s yeah, but I think it’s a mindset. You got to go into it with open arms, this thing called life. And I think it’s a, it’s a, it’s a completely different framing. The other is too much anxiety, too much worry. Fuck it. It’s just that’s such a waste. And you know, a lot of the women that I have actually talked to on my wiser than me podcast, I always ask if you could give your 21 year old self, some advice. What would you say? And a huge portion of these women say it’s gonna be okay.

 

Reshma Saujani  39:24

Yeah, and it could not just be okay. It could be fucking great.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  39:28

Well, how about that idea?

 

Reshma Saujani  39:29

How about that fuck yeah. Well, fuck it. That’s my takeaway here, right? It’s gonna be like, don’t just live through it, live it.

 

Reshma Saujani  39:38

Live it, it’s gonna be fab. It’s gonna be fab.

 

Reshma Saujani  39:42

All right well, you all heard it from Julia. It’s going to be fab. Thank you so much.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus  39:49

Thank you. What a pleasure to talk to you.

 

Reshma Saujani  40:03

Here are my main takeaways from Julia on how to really live my midlife first, midlife is a mindset. I mean, you heard it from the source. You can control it. Two, meditate. We gotta lower those cortisol levels. Three, find your people in your community, because you know what? Life is long and we got a ways to go. I’m telling you, if we do it right, we’re gonna age like fine wine. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is an award winning actress and podcast host. You can find her podcast Wiser Than Me wherever you’re listening to this. That’s it for the show. See you next week.

 

Reshma Saujani  40:39

You that story you heard at the top of this episode about how midlife is a clusterfuck. That was Priscilla Smith. I want to say thank you to her and the dozens of women who sent us voicemails about midlife, and you can talk to us too. Go to speakpipe.com/midlife.

 

Reshma Saujani  40:56

There’s more of My So Called Midlife with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content like midlife advice that didn’t make it into the show. Subscribe now in Apple podcast, I’m your host, Reshmi Saujani, our producer is Claire Jones, this series is sound designed by Ivan Kuraev Our theme was composed by Ivan Kuraev and performed by Ryan Jewell, Ivan Kuraev and Karen […]. Additional music by APM music. Our senior supervising producer is Kristen Lepore. Our VP of new content is Rachel Neel. Executive Producers include me, Reshma Saujani, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Series consulting and production support from Katie Cordova. Help others find our show by leaving us a rating and writing a review and let us know how you’re doing in midlife. You can submit your story to be included in this show at speakpipe.com/midlife follow My So Called Midlife, wherever you get your podcast, or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership. Thanks for listening, see you next week, bye.