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Brooke Shields joins Sam to talk about her new book “Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old” and why it was so important to her to go to college despite her already booming career. They talk about aging and making new friends in your fifties, warding off overzealous doctors, learning to accept compliments, and unwinding the internet for their teenage daughters even if sometimes their kids hurt their feelings.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Brooke Shields, Samantha Bee

Samantha Bee  00:00

I know Martha Stewart, but I think I can throw a decent party, a little gathering, a nice little shindig, cheese and crackers, bake it, cake, maybe a fond do feeling a little saucy, some crepe paper balloons, 100 bucks, you’re there. So what the kind of inauguration party does Donald Trump think he’s gonna throw with the millions of dollars that tech bros are falling over themselves to give to him for the first time ever? Mark Zuckerberg, Tim Cook, Sam Altman, Amazon, meta, Uber, Google and Microsoft are falling over their new baggy T shirts and giving $1 million to a Presidential Inaugural Committee. Oh, God, and you bet I have some serious choice words about it. It has never been more clearly demonstrated that money buys access, and these guys are paving the road to the Trump White House with bricks of gold. They’re no longer keeping him at arm’s length. There’s no coyness about joining business committees or being seen with him. They’re getting rid of fact checking and bending over backwards for their new leader, and he knows it. Oh, I don’t know what that party is going to be like, but it’s definitely the first party most of those nerds have ever been invited to.

 

Samantha Bee  03:40

This is Choice Words, I’m Samantha Bee. My guest today is Brooke Shields. I don’t even think that Brooke needs an introduction, so I’m just going to say her new book is called Brooke Shields is not allowed to get old, and I felt her truth down to my core. You’re going to want to read the book after hearing this interview, so take a listen and make good choices.

 

Samantha Bee  04:05

She’s here. You are here. She has arrived. She has arrived. She has arrived. Roll out the red carpet, yes.

 

Brooke Shields  04:18

I quote you all the time. I say good morning to my girls. I go, Hey, dumb dumbs. I literally do that. I go, good morning. Dumb dumbs.

 

Samantha Bee  04:29

Morning with dumb, so funny. Oh, my God, that’s so funny.

 

Brooke Shields  04:36

It’s one of the funniest things I’ve just ever, I don’t know, never, I’ve never was so joyous in my comedy heart.

 

Samantha Bee  04:44

Do you know what I think about you all the time? I bet you don’t know that.

 

Brooke Shields  04:49

I’m very honored, why?

 

Samantha Bee  04:51

Yeah, I don’t know because I think you’re super cool and like, just for listeners to this podcast, you and I know. We’ve worked together. We’ve been at many things together functions together. I like very much. I think you’re like, a funny, cool, fucking, wild lady. I’m just, I’m just putting that out there, really, like the last quality time we spent together was eating queso, in Texas.

 

Brooke Shields  05:24

Who doesn’t like good case?

 

Samantha Bee  05:26

Who doesn’t like to walk into a random queso restaurant in Austin, Texas and literally.

 

Brooke Shields  05:31

And look for a bowl. For a bowl, we kept looking for the bull. Where’s the couple?

 

Samantha Bee  05:38

Where’s the ball? Where do I have? When do Burke and I get on the mechanical.

 

Brooke Shields  05:42

Mechanical bull.

 

Samantha Bee  05:43

Okay, we, oh my god, we have, we have so much to talk about in the context of this podcast. But also.

 

Brooke Shields  05:49

Can I just also say congratulations. I just want to say I’m so happy for everything that’s happened since I met you. For you. Oh, I just think I’m so every time I saw something, your show or whatever, I was like, damn, she’s so smart. She’s so smart, Tony. I just want to say, congratulations for everything in your life.

 

Samantha Bee  06:12

Thank you. I started to sweat when you said that, what happens you’re not good at we don’t take compliments. We don’t take you. Don’t take compliments well, I don’t take you want. How is that possible? Right?

 

Brooke Shields  06:24

You might, we might need to do in a different podcast it’s really, I still working on it.

 

Samantha Bee  06:31

Oh, my God, that would be a great podcast. How to accept a compliment with Brooke Shields, and then you could learn how to accept a compliment. And by the end of the 10 episode arc, you’re like, thank you.

 

Brooke Shields  06:43

I know Aha, yeah, yes.

 

Samantha Bee  06:49

I am great. I am kidding. Fabulous, fabulous.

 

Brooke Shields  06:52

I just worked with with this German director who and, and, like some fabulous women actresses, and I was so nervous, I was like, throwing up in the bathroom. And at the end of the day the director came, it was like a 16 hour day, and I was just like, racked and the director came up to me and said, that was really great work, you know? And I went, Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You know. I started looking around like for lint that I could pick off the wall. And she holds my shoulders, and she goes, No, you need to hear this. And I was like, and she said, you blew me away. Thank you and I was like.

 

Samantha Bee  07:39

I feel seen.

 

Brooke Shields  07:42

It’s so crazy. I’ll let you do your podcast.

 

Samantha Bee  07:44

Listen okay, proceed. We have a tremendous amount to talk about. We want to I want to talk about choices, and believe me, like you’ve lived as a public figure for our your entire life, my most of my life like so I feel like there are so many choices that I could suggest that you could talk about, but I’m not going to do that. But first I want to say that I loved your book.

 

Brooke Shields  08:11

Oh, did you laugh? I laughed.

 

Samantha Bee  08:15

I did laugh. It’s really funny. I made fam be laughed. You may you always make me laugh. But like, the book is really funny and it’s really pure, like, I feel like it comes from your swamp, and like, there’s a whole chapter about about your actually, there’s many  references.

 

Brooke Shields  08:36

Many references to my swamp.

 

Samantha Bee  08:38

And I, like, felt personally seen by it. I don’t know there’s it’s really special so okay, so the, I guess the launch point for this podcast is always that we, we do start the show by talking about choice, and you’ve made so many big ones publicly. But is there a choice that you can point to that you really feel changed the trajectory of your life in a way that you maybe didn’t expect or like, do you like making choices? Do you like big decisions? Are you amazing at that where you’re just like, I’m so decisive.

 

Brooke Shields  09:11

You know what? I would love to say that I have been given as much choice as people think I have. Okay, so first part of your question, college, right? The choice I made to go to college, which was really never a choice, it was like, of course, I’m going to college. Like, you know, it’s like, you see it. I was like, you saw it in Dead Poets Society, of course, I’m going to Princeton. Like, like, I had this image of what I wanted college to be, and it was everything, visually, emotionally, obviously, education wise, but the choice to leave all of it and go to university, I assumed. So I think that changes choice. But I. Assumed that I would come out of college and I would pick up exactly where I left off, which was the antithesis of what happened. I don’t know if I knew, if I knew that I still would have chosen to go to college, because to me, it was, you know, I say it in the book too. It’s like a version of my rebellion, you know, like other people were taking drugs, and I was like, I’m going to get an education. So that’s the first thing. The other thing about choice is I have not had a any type of a straight trajectory in my career. I just, you know, it’s like, I hit big, and then I dropped, and then I couldn’t, you know, I couldn’t quite get my footing, and so I had to, I always had, the choices I made were to keep moving through, right? Because I didn’t have movies. Didn’t want me anymore. I couldn’t get, I couldn’t get a movie for my life. So Broadway was like they opened a door to me. So I did that. Then I got then TV was an option, you know? And so it’s like each time some door closes, my choice is just become a victim and not do anything and become inanimate or or find another way to be creative. So if it’s writing a book or if it’s doing a play, or if it’s something else, my choice was always keep doing something that allows you to do what you do as an artist, and I just started calling myself that. So, you know, grandiose as that sounds but.

 

Samantha Bee  11:42

No, it’s not grandiose. It’s true. Like you are. You are a creator. You have like the bones and the spirit of a creator. And you can see that as you, as you read the book, or if you’ve watched like pretty baby, if you know anything about you at all, you’re like a very creative person in a taking a lot of different paths. Like I loved the whole section in the book about saying yes to a one woman show at the Carlisle, which was like, difficult, taxing, very difficult, expensive. Like, in a way, the only good reason to say yes to something as expensive and daunting is if you’re growing from it. And you did, can you talk about that a little bit that?

 

Brooke Shields  12:28

Yeah, it was a big one. And I also learned, I learned something about myself as a performer, which you know anytime I think you can learn something about yourself as a as a performer, as a creative and artist, whatever. It’s not tangible, but then when it, when you, when you get it, you’re just like, wow, I don’t love attention that way. I don’t love being front center as me getting attention like I’m I have learned to talk about personal things, you know, and it’s been lucrative, it’s been important. It’s been whatever, like I talk about depression, and I talk about all these kinds of things, because it’s I’m like a conduit to a conversation that I think needs to happen. But with regards to being a performer, you know, I’ve seen you look at Rita Wilson is a friend, right? She does the Carlisle. Isaac Mizrahi does the Carlisle. They love it, right? They blossom. I want to crawl into a hole. I cannot wait till I’m walking off stage. And it’s not that I don’t love the people or singing or telling stories. It’s that kind of attention as Brooke and I think it’s because I’ve had that attention and scrutiny and my entire life. Give me a wig and a dialect and I’m, you know, Mama, whatever. So doing the show was so important for me because I knew I wouldn’t fully enjoy it, right? But the whole metaphor around finding your voice was a really important thing for me. So I said, you know, I’m doing, it’s been interesting. I’m doing a reading of a musical in a couple weeks, and it’s an indie rock musical, and it just is in my body, musically and and, you know, I’m not of my vocal prowess is nothing to be compared to anybody like it’s I’m fine. I can do it all well enough, but to find your actual voice. And this teacher of mine that I just started working with, she talks about everything coming from the heart and and it’s like. It’s so such, like a magnet on a refrigerator, but it’s it’s so true to be able to, like I wanted to find music that I could sing and not compare myself to other people. So to say yes to something like that was it was just very vulnerable, and it was interesting. The first night, my opening night, the person who books the Carlisle already asked me to do two more weeks, right? And in that moment, I realized I wasn’t going to ever do it again, right? Because I was like, you haven’t even seen the show. I put asses in the seats, and that’s the validity of the show, right? I was like, you don’t even know if the show is, if the show could suck, right? And I thought, Okay, this was such a learning experience for me about Brooke Shields. Like Brooke Shields is like a thing, you know, that’s why I put it in the title. That’s why I like, because it’s, it’s a thing. I have to analyze that from a psychology standpoint, or I’d go nuts, you know.

 

Samantha Bee  16:09

That’s so wise to be like, I know you’re just want to sell chicken tenders, right? Like you don’t really. You’re just like, how much alcohol can we sell? We sell out for full weeks of this show.

 

Samantha Bee  16:09

Yeah, it’s, but it’s, it’s also business, like you learn it’s not personal, like, I think I the stuff I used to take personally as a kid or younger yesterday, I don’t take in the same way, right?

 

Brooke Shields  16:09

It’s a business. It is a it is a business, and it’s a hard business, but in a fun business, and like, oh.

 

Brooke Shields  16:44

We think people are gonna care, which is, it’s so naive of me, I mean, and I still think it like it’s so I tell my daughters that I’m like, oh, honey. I was like, I’m sorry, but they’re not gonna care. You have to, like, I’m sorry.

 

Samantha Bee  17:01

Yeah, you have to care about that thing that you’re doing, and that’s it. You don’t care about it. It’s not gonna work.

 

Brooke Shields  17:08

No, so the choice to do a show like that was really a choice in fully, like, understanding what, who I am, what I like, what I don’t like, vocally, I’m so insecure because I did a Feinstein show, like in 2009 or something, and and the only review I remember, and by the way, I don’t read reviews, but of course, this one was like one on my desk or whatever. She’s no vocal powerhouse, but she can weave a good tail, something like that, right? And, of course, I took that with me, and I was like, I’m supposed to be pretty, I’m supposed to be smart, I’m supposed to be talented, and I’m supposed to fucking sound like Barbra Streisand, really. I was like, what more does anybody want? Like, what? And I just, I took it with me, and when it came to the show, I thought, No, I’m not Kristin Chenoweth. I love her like love, love that little Polly Pocket of a person so tiny. She’s so tiny, tiny baby bones and just vocal cords, yeah, but I needed to find my own voice, so that became sort of a metaphor.

 

Samantha Bee  18:25

We’ll be right back after this.

 

Samantha Bee  21:30

So if it’s it is like you talk about it a lot in the book about how you like to play characters you look at like a little distance, and then you want to play like, you want to play in someone else’s name and skin and life and like, I think that’s super cool. Is it very hard to talk about the book then? Like, is it ?

 

Brooke Shields  22:17

No, because another thing too, that I’ve learned of value of So it’s hard when you’re somebody, like, as famous as as I am, like, it’s, yeah, it’s, it’s weird, but like, it’s a weird thing, right? So you have to, kind of like, you guard your life, your personal life. You guard your children, you guard your privacy to the extent that you can you know and you kind of learn to define your space, right? But then there’s some very powerful that happens when your truth can’t be disputed. Like, okay, yeah, it some of it might be a little bit in your face, but like, once you do that, like, my whole life, I would try to answer appropriately. I would try to do the right thing, and then I would get raked over the coals. My mother would get destroyed. You know, the one person I loved more than life itself, would get obliterated. And it’s like, you do that from age 12 to 59 you start going, like, wait a minute, and then you look back at the times that you just stood fast on your truth, whatever it is. And it’s interesting, there’s an interview not in the it didn’t make it to the documentary, for some reason, it was in one iteration of it, but and I keep answering this question, I think I talk about it in the book, but I keep answering the same question, and the woman keeps rephrasing it. I’m 12. And finally I said, you know, excuse me, ma’am, I don’t think you want my answer because you keep asking the same question, just with different words, but I don’t have another answer, so I don’t know, and in the interview, I say, this is my truth. And I’m like 12, I’m like a little baby girl. And I thought, damn Brooke, like you had that in you. You lost it, and writing a book like this is getting it back.

 

Samantha Bee  24:20

Like, do you feel in some ways, that, because the title of the book, Brooke Shields is not allowed to get old, I think is just so perfect. And I felt like, like, it’s like, nailed it. You know what I mean? Like, I felt like I knew exactly what I was in for when I started the book. I was like, here we go. I want to talk about this too. Did you do you feel like any sense of responsibility, because you do talk about aging and you you’re also aging publicly. And do you feel like a sense of responsibility to your audience a little bit to be like, I’m gonna I’m gonna say hard things, and maybe you’re gonna feel a little bit better about your confusion in your life.

 

Brooke Shields  25:00

Yes, I don’t think I ever set out to be a prophet of any way or that. Like, I just sort of say, like, okay, instead of even, here’s what I’ve learned, or this is what you should do. I just kind of go, like, I don’t know if you guys are feeling this, but I’m feeling it, so I’m gonna open up the conversation by saying, like, do your knees feel long? My knees feel long, honey, my I’ve got to pick an outfit for Fallon, and I just saw one that I could borrow. And yeah, my assistant says, she’s so funny. She goes, I don’t know if it has pockets. And I said, I was like, oh no, because we have this running joke that when I put my hands in pockets, I can pull up my thighs and I can make them taut. And she taught and she goes, I don’t know if this dress has pockets you might want to wear. it pockets, but you have to, like, the whole thing about beauty and aging and whatever, it’s a shit show and like, I don’t feel a responsibility, like it’s a burden. I just sort of feel like, come on. I want to feel better about this. Can we all commiserate and then can we get past it and feel good about ourselves? Like you need a community for that, and that’s that is what I think a book like this hopefully incites.

 

Samantha Bee  26:38

That’s I want 1,000,000% agree with you, and especially when it comes to, like, perimenopause and menopause, like, it’s like, the number one thing we need as a community of people just to, like, toss ideas around with it’s not like, anyone’s gonna make it go away.

 

Brooke Shields  26:56

But also, it’s not all we are. Like, okay, it parts of it suck. But you know what? Acne sucked? Puberty sucked. Yeah, your first heartbreak, and dealing with it with my 18 year old, and it’s like, it’s just heartbreaking. Yeah, you know that the level of pain and being distraught, and so it’s like every single stage has a trial and a tribulation in it, and but we all of a sudden look at aging like somehow it’s worse, or it’s we’re not where you know, 1/4 of the population is over of Americans is over 40. That’s why I started commence. My company is called Commence. We started with hair care because women’s scalps change over a certain age. Like, let’s just look at it from a proactive standpoint, instead of, oh my God, you’re either 20 or you’re in depends like.

 

Samantha Bee  27:57

Oh, my God. Can I tell you something I never thought about that in my entire life, does my scalp have? Oh, yeah, we need scalp have wrinkles.

 

Brooke Shields  28:05

Your pores have gotten smaller. By the way. Don’t love the things that get smaller, and therefore it cannot take in things like hyaluronic acid. I’ve been in the lab. I’m a student. I can tell you all about this and my hair now, even the woman who did my roots like yesterday, she was like, your hair is amazing. And I was like, I finally got into the chemistry of all of it. What happens? And if you look at it, I’m solving problems like, right? So I think that to look at aging as, yeah, a lot of it sucks, and a lot of it’s really funny, if you think about it. But it also is earned.

 

Samantha Bee  28:47

It’s earned. It is comedy. I always, I have, like, a little note in my phone that’s just says, it’s just the title of something. I’m like, menopause is comedy. Yeah, it is. It just is. It’s so stupid.

 

Brooke Shields  29:00

It’s so stupid. Hey, man, yeah, it is gonna do but like, I look, it’s important to realize it’s, it’s no worse than a lot of the things that we’ve been through as well, and to date, you know.

 

Samantha Bee  29:16

It’s just that the stakes are higher, like, the stakes are different. The judgment is different. The judgment is different. Yeah, the judgment is different. And the Invisibility is different too. And that’s actually difficult to contend with, like, as you talk about that in the book, too.

 

Brooke Shields  29:30

I talked about it you know, I and, and the reason why I named the book, what it did, is because, by virtue of maturity, I’m a disappointment to people. I had the gall how to dare age. So if you’ve been printed upon me from Blue Lagoon, you’re gonna look at this and go, you know, and and it’s like I would have. Had to have died in my 20s to stay eternally. Brooke Shields, like, it’s like Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, like they will always be that if we saw Marilyn Monroe at 80, we’d go.

 

Samantha Bee  30:14

Oh, she’s really.

 

Brooke Shields  30:18

She’s not a bombshell, like I did an Instagram Live the other day, which those things are ridiculous, and you know, all the comments are going up and I’m trying to respond, and one person said, oh, I really wish you looked like you used to. Oh my. I laughed so hard I had to tell the whole audience, or whatever, the whole audience, however many there were, but, you know, and then, like, there was another person that said, well, where’s your mom? I was like, hmm dead.

 

Samantha Bee  30:51

Where can we? Can I live? Brooke Shields, can I live? Am I allowed? Okay, in the last few years, people have started, like, talking about their bodies, talking about the process of their bodies, talking about, like, what actually happens biologically to our bodies. And we know that the medical community has largely not taken women’s health seriously at all. They haven’t women’s stays, women’s pain. Talk a lot about it in the book, lots of really interesting like research and studies and like facts about how few gynecologists know anything about menopause, that type of thing. You had a pretty routine biopsy to get rid of cancer cells in your cervix, and no one talked to you about the possible aftermath of that.

 

Brooke Shields  31:44

No, I was a young woman, and that’s not a valid the whole thing was, well, Iwas very aggressive, and therefore you don’t have cancer. Okay, you take that. But I was not educated on the fact that a routine biopsy, while it may save your life, would have made it virtually impossible for me to get pregnant. And then, you know, cut to I’m in my late 30s, and I’m convinced I’m just broken nothing we do seven IVF, like, I’m not getting pregnant. Why, what? And you know that would have that type of information would have been really helpful. I would have been able to be proactive. I might have been able to with all the scar tissue, basically, was my my issue. Stretch the scar tissue. There are techniques. There are, I mean, I don’t know, stretching things or whatever. I don’t know. But in order to get pregnant with Rowan, I had to go through my belly button. Like, really, okay. Thank God for technology. Thank God I could afford it. Like, that’s not lost on me, but, but damn, why wouldn’t have wouldn’t one sentence, you know, you might, you might know that, what you know, there will be a lot of scar tissue, your cancer free, but when it comes time to have children, if you so want them, you know, this may be a roadblock. And there are things to do that can help you be proactive in that, right? That would have been enough. I could have done it in the office. He could have said that to me, and my whole future would have been different.

 

Samantha Bee  33:32

You seem to have faced a lot of medical care with some very arrogant doctors.

 

Brooke Shields  33:37

And all about my vagina, for some reason, so for some reason, still, it’s a topic of conversation.

 

Samantha Bee  33:43

It’s very connected. You do talk about a male doctor who gave you a rejuvenation, a vaginal rejuvenation, while I was under, while you were under. Is that your consent?

 

Brooke Shields  33:56

Like thought he was doing me a like little lady.

 

Samantha Bee  33:59

Yeah, your husband’s gonna be pretty happy that I intervened, you know.

 

Brooke Shields  34:03

I said to my daughter, I said, Rowan. I was like, tuppner. And I was like, you know, I just want you to know, because kids talk about everything and the books coming out. And, yeah, you know, I was like, I was, you know, I talk about the surgery, and she goes, Oh, you mean, the surgery where a couple of stitches were put in for dad. And I was like, oh my god, oh my God, oh. I was like, good over here. I was like, and I said, seriously, what did you just say to me? And she’s like, yeah, the rejuvenation thing, like a little for dad. And I was like, Holy hell. But the fact that the younger generation even takes that information like that and and they’re not incensed by it, throw in a few extra, like the baker’s dozen for the man, right?

 

Samantha Bee  34:56

Right? Husband stitch. Yeah, a husband stitch.

 

Brooke Shields  35:00

I was like, Oh, my God, we need to talk about this. This is and on the one hand, they’re righteous and feminist, yeah, and oh, they will talk about, you know, they get on their little platform, and then they’re so comfortable with saying something like that. I was like, right, you guys, we need to talk about this.

 

Samantha Bee  35:19

Yeah let me explain to you why this is an invasion of my body, why this is unacceptable for me and you and all of us.

 

Brooke Shields  35:29

And they’re very quick to say, you know, my body my choice. But then have a statement like that. I was like, this is you are off the mark. We need to we need to understand this better. You know?

 

Samantha Bee  35:44

Hold  that thought more choice words after one more break.

 

Samantha Bee  36:48

You do, I do feel like, as a parent, I’m unwinding things that my kids see on Tiktok too, like that. I’m having to go, okay, no, this is why we do this work. This is let me, everybody sit down. I’m going to talk to you about Amber Heard, you know, like there’s just a lot of that. And I don’t, not sure that I could have navigated adolescence with like, the existence of Instagram and Tiktok.

 

Brooke Shields  39:05

I’m sure. I don’t know. I don’t, yeah, and what’s so interesting about like that is that it so quickly becomes a meme, right? And we’ve lost and and it, you know, whatever, anybody thinks about it or whatever. And, you know, it’s like, all of those conversations are important to have. Like, I said to my one daughter, I said, well, like in the summer, I was like, if you don’t want to go out, why don’t you guys just go back. We have a little, a little, like pool house that has, like a little a TV and, like a ping pong table or whatever. And I said, what, I guess, just go back there and hang out and, you know, get your solo cups and do whatever. And, and she was like, oh, no, Mom, I don’t want to do that, because then, you know, he’ll, he’ll think this, or he’ll expect that. Yes, and I was like, what? And, and in a way, she was right, like, I don’t want to put myself in a position to be in a little house alone, right? And not feel like they’re gonna want to fool around, because that’s all boys want to do, is fool around, right? And I was like, at first, I was like, you don’t they don’t expect anything, and you shouldn’t feel that. And you know, I was like, oh, you get to say no and no means no and blah. And she was like, I get it, Mom, it’s just easier. And I was like, wow, there is a part of this generation that goes like, okay, you know, you get in trouble if you say, like, oh, the girl was taken advantage of. And you go, well, what was she wearing? Right, and you go, like, she should be able to wear anything she wants. And I’m like, Yeah, but I wouldn’t wear a meat suit into a lion den, do you know what I mean? You kind of go, like, okay. And I think they’re starting this generally. I mean, my daughter’s generation, I think they’re starting to understand the nuances of it a little bit, right, which I think is very I’m relieved about that.

 

Samantha Bee  41:13

They have a different intelligence about it that is kind of hard for us to penetrate. They don’t talk about it the same way, no, but they’re also, like, consenting to have sex with somebody shouldn’t come after like, three weeks of coercion where someone’s trying to convince me, right? I’m not interested in that. I’m like, Oh, that’s really what it was in the 1980s Yeah. It was like, someone give you a legal dossier about why you’re required, so interesting. I love that you pay so much attention to sex at this age. I think people have a really hard time talking about this. Are really difficult because it does change. It really does change.

 

Brooke Shields  42:00

Like my husband was like, what do you mean? You pretend you’re asleep. I’m like, Oh, come on.

 

Samantha Bee  42:07

Don’t you know sometimes.

 

Brooke Shields  42:08

I just, I breathe heavier. I just don’t want to be fussed with, come on. He’s like, you know? And the problem, the problem is too. And when I did research that the research was so interesting, because when you look at at, like, the statistics and what happens, and we’re not, we don’t. Men and women don’t. Are not parallel as they go through these times in their lives. And right, it’s a problem. You need to, like, talk about it or understand it, or, you know, and that’s why we get traded in for, like, the 20 something or girl you know.

 

Samantha Bee  42:49

Do you feel like you’ve had to educate your husband, Chris about what’s going on with your body?

 

Brooke Shields  42:55

He really loathes talking about anything like that. He starts going glazed over, and he just goes, I think you’ve seen the face when he goes. He does a caveman thing where he poops in his hand, throws it at the wall, and then falls asleep.

 

Samantha Bee  43:19

That’s great. I did a show called How to Survive menopause, which is just a comedy show about this crazy shit that happens when you go through when I was starting on my journey, and at one point, my son, who was 16, said, Oh, my God, can you just stop saying the word menopause? And I was like, I don’t know. I’m gonna say it twice as much, and you’re gonna make you sit and listen to it, and then you’ll know so much. You’ll be so informed later in life. And he’s like, I will forget everything I’m having. I’m watching tennis in my brain as you’re saying these words I liked too. What I really like is how much you talk about female friendship, because your super close friend, Ally Wentworth, who’s awesome, came to you later in life. You made friends in your 50s.

 

Brooke Shields  44:16

It’s so funny how people are finding that part of the book so shocking and kind of revolutionary. Like, like, I’ve been doing some interviews, and that’s one of the like, of course, the vagina is always a part of the conversation. And then, and whatever you know, and, and then friendship, it’s like, because we, it’s such an extraordinary gift. It is and and we don’t like we’re afraid of it in a way, because we’re like, oh, it must not be real. And people used to say, Well, how long have you guys been friends? And I would say, like, not long enough to merit how much we enjoy each other. Right, you know, and to meet a friend later in life, and you know, my criteria is different, my the way I react, like there were times in in our friendship, where I reverted to some of my old, insecure, little High School feelings, right? And I had a therapist who said, hey, don’t do that. Don’t do that to your friendship. Don’t do that to her. Don’t do that to you. Like, you know, it’s like, oh, she didn’t call me, or she didn’t call me. Oh, my God, right. She was like, she’s probably busy. Whereas, in high school, you know, you you have this different and it was so interesting for me to sort of process adult friendship with a new lens, you know.

 

Samantha Bee  45:51

Right, well, I think people probably are fixating on it a little bit because it’s beautiful and like, because we want to know that it’s possible, it’s possible to make friends with someone at any age, like, to make a connection with someone that’s deep.

 

Brooke Shields  46:09

And you also it’s okay to, like, let go of some other friendships that don’t fuel you in the same way, you know, like, I think, you know, we put labels on everything from the time we’re born, you know, and it’s like, Oh, I’ll be your best friend. You want to be my best friend, like, and there are friendships that just don’t serve me in the same way, yeah. And I was very, I think, you know, I wasn’t, I didn’t have a problem talking about medical stuff in my book, the most angst I had in the book writing was about I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Who are my friends? Who are just? It doesn’t mean they’re more or less of a friend. They’re just. I’m in a different place in my life, and I’m I process friendship a different way. And I was like, I wanted to make sure that the people that don’t maybe haven’t done this kind of like analysis, which I just do all the time, exhaustingly. But, you know, I don’t want them to think like, oh my god, I wonder if I’m not on the list anymore. It’s like no, that’s not it. We’re not it’s all okay. Like, we’re all okay.

 

Samantha Bee  47:26

It’s all okay. I did talk to somebody ages ago who was like, why don’t we see our friendships through the same lenses, like the way we think and feel about relation, like our sexual relationships or our spousal relationships, we’re, like, always wrestling with that relationship and trying to make it better and finding ways and fixes and stuff like that. Like, why don’t we? Why aren’t we, like, cultivating our friendships that way too, putting the same lens of like, oh, this person needs like you’re sowing a garden, right? Like you’re planting seeds. And I think it’s actually really nice to read a story of female friendship that is like, Oh, this is like, sowing seeds, making a relationship, not bringing judgment to it it’s nice.

 

Brooke Shields  48:14

And, you know, like, at first it was interesting, because in the beginning, I said to her one day, I said, I can’t believe you like me, right? And she was like, Don’t do that. Why are you doing that? Stop. And I was like, I thought, I thought it would sort of be a compliment. She’s like, don’t level us like, you know, because it makes and I didn’t know that that’s a thing in her life. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I didn’t know that. I didn’t know that that stems from childhood for her, that that that that indicated a certain pressure, I was sort of saying, like, I think you’re so cool and like you’re one of the cool kids, and you you picked me a friend in the playground. I thought I was sort of indicating that, and that I didn’t know her long enough to know that that was a thing with her, but it was an interesting thing to not ascribe to her the stuff that I that we do in childhood, you know, right?

 

Samantha Bee  49:26

Like teared relationships, like putting people in little slots. Literally, had this conversation with a friend of mine yesterday at lunch, and she was like, I don’t know why this person is even friends with me. She’s like, such a cool person. I’m like, stop your cool. You’re great.

 

Brooke Shields  49:44

But look at that. Look at how we’re I had a trainer once, I was working with a trainer, and he said he’s like, God, when does it start? When does it start? And he’s this beautiful man from Nigeria. And. He’s got an amazing life and kids, and, like, he started a business, and and, and I, and I said, what? And he said, when does it start with women, where they just chip away at their own selves all the time? And I said, you know, I think it starts in childhood, yeah, and I think we as parents have to be very conscious of not like, oh, she’s my athletic one, oh, he’s my Brainiac, you know, and like, and you’re just like, Oh, God, you’re just, you’re doing it and you can, you got to stop it. And I think we do that as women. I think, you know, society does that. As women, you know.

 

Samantha Bee  50:46

Does it feel good to break those cycles?

 

Brooke Shields  50:48

Yeah.

 

Samantha Bee  50:49

Life, and with your it feels like you can really, everybody’s going to be better than have better lives.

 

Brooke Shields  50:57

Yeah, and you hope they can take it in. I mean, you know, you also think like, oh, I’m making this great statement, and they’re playing tennis in their brain. You know what I mean? Like, if I go living room or porch and they go, Oh God, Mom’s going. Mom wants to talk. Mom wants to talk about feelings. I go, yeah, I do want to talk about feelings. Sit your ass down.

 

Samantha Bee  51:20

We’re talking about this talking about feelings. We are talking about feelings. And guess what? In 20 years, you’re going to do the same thing. You’re going to be like porch, talking it out. Think back, all like […]

 

Brooke Shields  51:34

My husband, and they all roll their eyes, and then they all plunk down in the  living room.

 

Samantha Bee  51:39

Yes, I sense that, like in your family, people make fun, your family makes fun of you, and I feel the same, but all the time, do you? Can you make them stop?

 

Brooke Shields  51:54

So I’ve recently had to do a porch moment and say, like, I know it’s funny, and I’m usually the first one to laugh at me and my dorkiness or whatever, but you guys like, when it’s all the time, it hurts my feelings. I want to be the source of laughter, and I’m fine, and I’m not so precious, but like, you know, I’m a little vulnerable right now in this era of my life, and I need a little I need love, and I just do, how did you go? Can you just lay off me for just a little bit, you know? And it’s sweet, because then they go like, Oh no, mom. We think you’re amazing. And I go, no, you don’t have to do that. Just be a little kinder to me, please. Because I’m tired, like, I’m really tired, and like it’s enough already that I’m have six jobs, and I’m looking for one that actually pays me. And I’m, you know, I’m trying to do this, and I’m doing all the I’m wearing all these different hats, and I just need a little kind of love and support. Can you just give me, like, a break. It’s a little break, and then, and they’ll be like, well, one of mine said. Yeah, but Mom, you’re so easy to make fun of. And I was like, so delicious.

 

Samantha Bee  53:15

It’s true, but it’s good. It’s like, good. It’s good for them to go because, like, you’re funny, your family’s funny, your husband is hilarious. Like, you know you, and that’s similar in my life. My husband’s funny, everybody’s funny. I’m like, and sometimes I just have to go, today is a boundary day. I’m going to teach you that you can have boundaries around when people can and cannot make fun of you and it can’t make fun of me today. Yeah. Not enjoy, not today.

 

Brooke Shields  53:41

Tomorrow, I’ll give you a lot of good, good material tomorrow.

 

Samantha Bee  53:46

Will be a massive dork tomorrow. Oh, my God, this was a goddamn delight. I stay strong. Get out there. Okay, thanks. That was Brooke Shields, and I had no choice but to look up one thing we were talking about, how our scalps change as we age, and I needed to know if my scalp has wrinkles. Well, generally scalps don’t wrinkle, but occasionally they can if due to a rare condition called CVG. So I’m not going to worry about that yet, but you still have to check any of the moles you might have on your scalp. Don’t forget to do that. Thanks for joining us. I’m Samantha Bee, and see you next week for some more Choice Words.

 

CREDITS  54:50

Thank you for listening to Choice Words, which was created by and is hosted by me. The show is produced by […], with editing and additional producing by Josh Richmond. We are distributed by Lemonada Media, and you can find me @realsambee on X, and Instagram. Follow Choice Words wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.