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Maternity Leave and Liberation with The Mamattorney

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In H.R. we trust. Sike! If you take away anything from this episode it’s that a company’s human resources department isn’t here to teach you your rights, and it’s never too early to learn them yourself. As the only employment lawyer in the maternity space, Daphne Delvaux is committed to helping women protect their jobs and get paid. Known as the ‘mamattorney,’ Daphne has an extensive track record of putting big corporations on blast for discrimination and achieving 6- and 7- figure settlements, all while rocking a velvet suit. From pregnancy to postpartum, she’s letting us in on all her secrets of motherhood amid the release of her upcoming book Mom’s In Labor. 

This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures, an early-stage global investment firm backing mission-driven entrepreneurs and industry influencers working toward a fair financial system for all. Learn more at flourishventures.com.

Stay up to date with us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.

You can find Daphne @themamattorney on Instagram and her website.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

X Mayo, Daphne Delvaux

X Mayo  00:05

Welcome back to The Dough, a podcast about the women who get their bag while pushing around a whole ass stroller. That’s right, I’m talking about the working mamas that do it all and don’t get enough credit or time off. Here’s the deal. Pregnancy and postpartum are supposed to be a beautiful time when you’re surrounded by love and support, but you know what can really throw off the vibe? HR telling you that there’s no maternity leave, or your boss interrupting your milk pumping session, or your coworker shaming you for taking so many breastfeeding breaks, and the list goes on. Well, ladies, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Your employer doesn’t want you to know you have maternal rights and you don’t have to sacrifice motherhood to climb that corporate ladder. Let me introduce you to someone who’s ferociously defending all the mamas out there against giants like Amazon and Walmart, pushing for legislation and helping enforce the laws of equity entering the chat, themammaaattorney. Daphne Delvaux runs the nation’s first and only law firm committed to workplace rights for mothers. She’s an award winning employment lawyer and considered to be the expert on all things pregnancy and postpartum discrimination. Daphne’s out here making the laws less boring and winning her clients six to seven figure settlements. I know that’s right now. I know the court hates to see her coming. Oh, y’all better act, right. Daphne, welcome to The Dough.

 

Daphne Delvaux  03:20

Hey, hello, how are you?

 

X Mayo  03:23

Yes, okay, so let’s get into it. First question I’m going to start with is on the dough. We always ask, What is something you spent your money on that brought you joy this week?

 

Daphne Delvaux  03:34

I bought a really bougie laundry detergent.

 

X Mayo  03:38

You have to.

 

Daphne Delvaux  03:40

Yeah, because I’ve been buying kind of the cheap version, because I have little kids and we do so much laundry, so I splurged on this super bougie laundry detergent for my own clothes.

 

X Mayo  03:56

Oh, I love it. That’s such a mom in you. You’re like, Listen, you guys can get the gold spec powder, you know, laundry detergent, and Mommy will just, you know, throw some water in there and pray it out. You’re such a mom, the best mom. Okay, so you have to tell us. What is the name of the laundry? What does it smell like? I might want to buy it. What is it?

 

Daphne Delvaux  04:16

Yeah, it’s by a brand called ritual, and it’s like a Japanese cherry blossom scent. So it’s very sweet. It’s, it’s, I’m very excited. I haven’t tried it yet, but it’s my own. It’s a gift that I bought for myself.

 

X Mayo  04:30

Yes, your mom. What did you buy yourself? Oh, I just bought some laundry detergent. It’s bougie. That’s really where we’re at. That’s where you’re at post 30 for sure.

 

Daphne Delvaux  04:41

Yes, also a very bougie dishwashing sponge. I don’t know why I’m all into I’m not a very domesticated person, so I’m kind of surprised to actually hear myself say these things. But apparently these are the things that excite me.

 

X Mayo  04:58

Oh, my God.

 

Daphne Delvaux  04:59

I used to a hike to Burning Man, and here I am geeking out about, like, the newest.

 

X Mayo  05:04

Are you kidding me? My Dyson vacuum. When people came over and I, like, made tacos, I was like, Guys, I got a new vacuum. So I felt like I was on that episode of Lucy when she was just like, I should tell you what I’m gonna do, when she was acting like that salesman, and she just, like, threw something on the floor. Then went to go, like, scoop it up. No, Truly, this is 30.

 

Daphne Delvaux  05:24

Yeah, and also, I did also buy myself a super nice suit, so I have range period. It’s like a full velvet green suit.

 

X Mayo  05:34

We love that for you.

 

Daphne Delvaux  05:35

Yeah, because most lawyers are, they look quite boring and uniform with their black and their gray and their dark blue. So I always try to wear actual colors, and, you know, do things like make jokes and smile among them, which really throws them off. So I’m going to be showing up with my with my velvet suit, and see how I can disrupt the industry.

 

X Mayo  06:00

Yes, well, I love how you said that, because that segues into what we’re here to fucking talk about. Okay, I respect you so much. If you guys didn’t know Daphne, like, owns the only firm that is about women’s rights, like, as far as like, mommies and the lack of maternity leave, the lack of support that we have. And I don’t want to tell fake news, is it just moms, or is it women, just in general? Just women, okay, because you’re not, like, you know, a life coach, or that’s just like, hey, you know, buy this class you know that I took and, you know, and earn $1,000 and then you have two other people that you give 1000 you give $1,000 it’s basically a multi level marketing scheme. That’s not what you’re doing. Like, you have a deep understanding of the law. You did not just like, you know, skim a fucking, you know, blog and was like, now I’m going to go for women’s rights. So I have to know what led you to practice law.

 

Daphne Delvaux  07:00

Yeah, I’m a nerd. I love learning. Yeah, no, I am an ultra nerd. I love learning. I mean, I could read a case from the 17th century common law and get super excited and like, try to talk to everyone about it, and everyone’s like, what are you doing? This is very boring to me, so And specifically, I love the law because it is a powerful tool when used for protection. I also recognize that the law can be weaponized against us, but the only way to kind of fight back is to use our own powers and our own rights. And one thing that we have in the United States is a civil justice system where you get to sue people who harm you, including employers who push you out for being a woman or being a person of color, and I like to use that power generously. So I like to remind folks that they have rights, that they have power when they feel really powerless. So what led me to this field is I my own experience as a woman moving through the labor market as I think a lot of us move through sexual harassment, discrimination, and we just kind of like laugh it off. We kind of pretend it’s not there. We kind of often think it’s it’s just the name of the game and, you know, like we have no power. What are we going to do? It’s just little me. And then I became a lawyer, and really realized the power that the law has, and I started working in employment law cases. Became a trial lawyer, did equal pay trials and a lot of sexual harassment cases. And then, through my own experience as a mother, I started to see just how tired the moms are. So they get routinely pushed out of their jobs or not given time with their kids, but they’re also too tired to do something about it, because the whole process of taking on the rulers the lures of capitalism is exhausting. Like not only are you wronged, you also have to sit a grown ass man down and tell him why he wronged you. So there’s kind of this double emotional labor, and in the end, they just try to gaslight you anyway. So what I try to do is I’m trying to be a bridge between these systems of power, this empire that I know really well, and I know how to think, I know how to strategize. I know how they move against us, and then I also help the mothers actually use these powers against the Empire. So I’m just a bit of a rebel, I would say a bit of a revolutionary, but done with like, yeah, a green velvet suit, and with kindness and compassion, but I have a deep fondness for mothers in America because of how oppressed they are as a group. There is a lack of support, when you compare to other countries, there’s a lack of childcare support, there’s a lack of healthcare. Black maternal mortalities, really high rates. So I try to see what can be done. You know, there’s so much that we need, but what can be done right now today, what are some of the things you can do? You can say that will actually make an impact in your life, that will make you feel less hopeless, that will actually protect your children, protect yourself, protect your wealth, by using these kind of old school legal tactics. So it’s just kind of marrying the job of a trial lawyer, which is very old boys club with like a new, fresh approach to lead the revolution.

 

X Mayo  10:37

As you were talking. It just made me think of this episode on girlfriends, because Trey Sally Ross character was a lawyer, and with this other guy named William den and she was just like, I don’t know what I’m doing. Like, I’m a lawyer, but I don’t have a life. He said, real lawyers don’t have a life. We have law. And that’s what it seems like when you’re like, the way that you’re talking. It’s like, No, I don’t fuck that. What I’m buying laundry detergent. I have long tradition. I have law. Like, that’s what, that’s why I feel like, as an artist, like, I don’t give a fuck what I have. I have my art. What are you talking about? Like, this is what, this is what gets me up in the morning. This is how I think, breathe, move, and have my being. Is my work. Like, I love what I do. And I can see that in, yeah, and I want to know, like in the world of what you were talking about, the ways that mothers are not treated fairly in this country, women, black people, people of color, right? How did you see managers and companies just outright violating employment law?

 

Daphne Delvaux  11:33

So when I was working at an employment law firm, I just saw that it was almost only women coming to us, and a lot of women of color, and so I created a whole Law Firm oriented towards women and women’s rights, because.

 

X Mayo  11:48

I just pause, Debbie, I love how like, okay, so there’s issues. Okay, well, I’ll start a firm. I love that  you see a problem, we present a solution. Women, yes, I just love I just, like, we have to pause because you just said that. Like, yeah, my kids were hungry, so we just went to Olive Garden. Yeah, they just went to these and it’s like, no. Daphne, excuse me, hello, that’s a whole business that requires so much work. Yeah, and were you a mother at that point?

 

Daphne Delvaux  12:24

Yes, I just had a baby, in fact.

 

X Mayo  12:27

Okay, keep going. I just, we just had to put a pin in that. We’re not gonna gloss over that like that wasn’t a huge, monumental thing that you did in response to a problem. Okay, go ahead.

 

Daphne Delvaux  12:37

I really appreciate this. Yeah, I created a whole law firm, first of its kind, oriented towards women and really focusing on women’s issues. And because I speak about motherhood a lot, I had a lot of moms come to me. I also had some equal pay cases and sexual harassment, but so much of it was related to motherhood. And the way that this plays out in the workplace is that, essentially the demands of capitalism and the demands of motherhood are fundamentally at odds. So motherhood requires us to stay home, to hold our babies, to breastfeed our babies too, and that doesn’t mean we lose our ambitions, but there’s always going to be some time where our focus is needed with that new human we just created, and society doesn’t support that. Instead, capitalism says, get back to work. Like, I don’t care if you’re bleeding, I don’t care if that baby’s crying. Give the baby to someone else, like, I need your hands to serve me. That’s what the Lords of capitalism say. They start to actually compete with the mother for her attention. They start to compete with her children and her baby, and they’re always going to try to maximize the time spent as work at work, which they do, by minimizing the time spent at home. And specifically, what that looks like is denying requests for flexibility, denying requests for time off, denying requests to go to a doctor because they have KPIs to meet. And this is a completely counter unnatural approach towards physiology and human being and creating life. Because when you look at animals, you know animals don’t have to drop a litter and then get back to work like there we are all just standing around and going, oh, this is so adorable. This is a nurse.

 

X Mayo  14:21

Oh my god, yeah, […] Yeah, I saw giraffe. Have a baby. First of all, came out there, but I said, power to the to the women, giraffes, baby. He came out her ass.

 

Daphne Delvaux  14:31

And there’s a drop, there’s a French drop.

 

X Mayo  14:33

And then it just and then it just dropped. She looks back at it, and she like, All right, now, okay, you better get up. That’s, that’s how I feel. Like us as women, that’s what we’re like, women, giraffes. We dropped the baby. I’m like, All right, get your ass up. Time back to work pretty much.

 

Daphne Delvaux  14:51

Get back to work and […]

 

X Mayo  15:02

So I want to know, first, how does pregnancy and motherhood impact women’s earning potential, like, if you have examples of that?

 

Daphne Delvaux  17:04

Yeah, I have some data for you. Because I’m a because I’m a nerd.

 

X Mayo  17:08

Whatever you can legally share, yeah.

 

Daphne Delvaux  17:10

So I have some data from the National Women’s Law Center. So when a woman becomes a mother, her earnings go down. And here’s the fun part, when a man becomes a dad, his earnings go up. So the highest earners are actually dads, and the lowest earners are black moms, at 52 cents to the dollar compared to white dads, that’s half. And you know, because the employers are like, oh, he’s a dad now he needs to provide and with the moms, it’s like, oh, well, gonna write her off. So, yeah, it’s an at least 15% reduction in earning for child, which comes out to on average, $20,000 a year. And black women, black mothers, lose up to $1.3 million through the course of their career, through because of the wage differential. That’s that’s like a mansion, you know? That’s like a whole mansion that capitalism, patriarchy robs of black.

 

X Mayo  18:16

Was about to say deals. Do you have any examples, though, Daphne, of any clients that you’ve had, like, you know that, like, what’s like, the craziest story that you experienced with a woman or mother in the workplace, experiencing these discriminatory practices at work?

 

Daphne Delvaux  18:35

There’s so many there. I would say the saddest one was a woman who actually lost a baby and then the job firing her on the same day. Of like, oh, you know, like they just didn’t want to deal with her time off requests. And, yeah, I see this with women who lose babies or pregnancies and then also lose their jobs because of the company just can’t handle it. It’s like.

 

X Mayo  19:05

It’s just like a glitch in their fucking matrix, yeah? Just like, what I have to, I have to give her a time off, like she experienced a death, yeah, inside so, just […]

 

Daphne Delvaux  19:19

So I see that, and then I see I would one of the worst ones I saw was a mother who, this is a Latina mom who was pregnant during the pandemic, and all of the executives were working from home, but they were they actually really tried to get her to quit, but because it’s really hard for a company to Just fire a pregnant woman, because they know that that’s a little bit stupid. But instead, what they do is they make it really hard. So what they did is they had her come in when everyone else was home, and they had her clean using like toxic fumes, and she was pregnant, and then she refused to quit because she needed money, so she and she needed health care. She was doing these cleaning jobs while pregnant, and then because she refused to quit, they ended up firing her at 39 weeks pregnant, and then she was taken off the health care plan instantly. Then she actually had to give birth without medical insurance, and she had a medical debt of $100,000 and she ended up also having a child with a lot of severe health issues. So the our jobs are so tied to our survival and our baby survival. So it’s a really volatile, vulnerable time for a woman, and it’s also a very cruel time to mistreat a woman because she doesn’t have any options. She needs to often stay at the job, depending on her kind of conditions and circumstances, but those are some of the things that, yeah, that come on my desk of women who whose lives have been completely ruined by their employer’s lack of compassion and humanity.

 

X Mayo  20:57

Daphne, within that last situation, both were extremely disgusting and traumatic, but for that last one, how did you go about exposing the company for this?

 

Daphne Delvaux  21:08

So we sued them for wrongful termination, and then we worked the case for about a year, and then it resolved. She had a really, really good settlement, so at the end, she did get paid, and that’s what our system allows, right? It’s like you break the rules and then you pay, just like when there’s a burglar in your house, and then you call the cops like it’s the same system of like you. They robbed you. She was robbed of time, of money, of of emotional fortitude, of all of the things you know, of having a real bonding experience with her child. So So yeah, we sue them. And this is so this is what I do. This is part of my job is getting mothers paid. And that can add up. It can be around seven figures, and then I help them invested so that their kids don’t have to pay for college and they they don’t have student debt. So it can lift a family out of poverty and create generational wealth for for the whole family when we set up these cases well, so that’s kind of the, you know, the good news here is that there is a system of recorrection here, and that it looks like getting paid. It looks like the company writing you a check.

 

X Mayo  22:17

I’m so happy that you mentioned a million, okay, seven figures, because I want to get into that. I know that you helped fight a pregnancy discrimination case that resulted in winning a million dollars. So I would love to relive this victory with you, because I know we’ve talked about things that are kind of like grim and very sad, but this is a huge win. You know, you just talked about that last case, and you won. And clearly Daphne’s a winner right? So tell me about the case that led you to win a million dollars.

 

Daphne Delvaux  22:47

Yeah, so this was a mother who was pregnant, and her manager was really sad to get her like, she was so upset about it. She’s like, how dare you? And this was a female manager, how dare you do this to me. I don’t want to care about your stupid baby, like, calling her baby stupid, and then asking a lot of invasive questions about, like, well, like, is your vagina dilated when she was close to giving birth? And then, like, just refusing to give her any time off, saying, I don’t want you to take any time off because we have all of these things going on, and just speaking about her baby and her pregnancy in a really crass way, saying, like, this is what we get for hiring women. We should just hire men. And, you know, this is so inconvenient to us. And yeah, like, this isn’t my problem. And just yeah, it just became worse and worse and worse. And the my client was also demoted, taken off her job, and just put in a totally different job that was really less interesting and a lot more boring. And what made the case a million dollar case is that she had reported it to HR many, many times. In writing, she had done her job, which means she reported it, she kept a record of it, and HR just didn’t do anything about it, like they just made it worse. They just continued to punish her so and then the owners also made it worse. So when you when it reaches that kind of upper level management, and management isn’t correcting it, HR isn’t correcting it, that’s when you get into those really big range numbers, because then you have a company that’s really like maliciously oppressing mothers, intentionally nefariously, and that’s when you are able to get some of the bigger payouts.

 

X Mayo  24:29

Yes, HR can be what’s the word I’m looking for? Fucking stupid. Yeah, not helpful, yeah. I had my own experience with a man being very belligerent and verbally abusive to me, and I called HR, and I told her what I said in response to him, and she said, Well, did he stop? And I was like, Yeah, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not gonna come back and he’s continuously acted this. Way since I started working there. She was like, oh, well, you sound like you handle the problem on your own good job. And like, hung up. And I was just like, and it was a huge corporation that I was working for, and very low level position, working and catering. And so I was like, oh, you don’t give a fuck. And I was talking to a woman. It’s like, Oh, your job is to just make sure the company doesn’t lose any money. It’s not human resources. It’s, you know, it’s bullshit. So I’m so happy that you brought that up, because I think that people that are not straight men don’t think that they are capable of misogyny, that they can, you know, express it, walk in it boldly, and uphold patriarchal ideals, such as what happened with this woman. And so I think that moms need to understand their rights right. And I know that you have spoken about every state has different employee rights, so your maternity rights vary depending on where you live and work, which is like crazy. So like, the rights in Utah aren’t the same as in Mississippi. It’s like, what? So you talk about how policies are different from rights. Can you explain that to me?

 

Daphne Delvaux  26:11

Yeah, thank you. So a policy is something that a company decides is a company guideline. So for example, the work day has to start at 9am that can be a company guideline, a company policy, or all employees get one week off per year of PTO that is a company policy. Or even we’re doing unlimited PTO that can be a policy, but a right is something like, If a mother needs time off for prenatal care, she’s allowed to take that time off even if it’s after 9am so when they’re the what we then see is managers get confused about policy and the law. So they’re like, Well, you can be late, because we have a policy that you have to be here at 9am and the mother’s like, well, I have a doctor’s appointment, and then the company would say, well, you’re in violation of policy, which can lead to termination. But the company does actually have to waive policy when there’s a legal issue, when when someone has a right. So same when a mother asked for time off, for birth, for for healing and recovery and bonding, and the company’s like, well, we have a PTO Max, right? Like you’re going to hit your PTO Max, and she’s like, No, but I have these rights, like, I actually can take more time off than what your policy says. So there’s going to be a lot of conflicts between what the law demands and what the company decides is our internal policy. So most of the issues I see is when the company managers get confused and they don’t want to give someone what they would call preferential treatment, even though the law does actually require managers to give mothers preferential treatment, because they they’re in a period of life where they do have more rights than people who are not in that experience.

 

X Mayo  27:56

And it’s Just, Isn’t it common sense? She’s having a baby. Why does Daphne have to be here? This is why our public schools, oh, Lord, we have failed. No Child Left Behind. All the children have been left behind. They all behind. God damn […]

 

Daphne Delvaux  28:16

I wish I didn’t have to do this job. There would be. There’s so many things I’d rather do, jet skiing. I would like to be in, like a drum a drum circle, yeah, maybe it’s working. Maybe it’s working on a jet ski. I mean, they’re in a.

 

X Mayo  28:32

Drum circle, but it says, yeah, like Hello, Mr. Peter from in sort billionaire Corporation, the woman who was pregnant actually needs to go pee. So she needs to get extra time to go on her bathroom breaks. They’re like, but we need her on the assembly line. Yeah, just let her. Just let her pee in a bottle. It’s like, no bitch, it’s genie in a bottle. Not pee in a bottle. The hell is wrong with you, oh, my God. Daphne, God bless you in your case […]

 

Daphne Delvaux  29:02

I had a similar case like that, where a woman was on an assembly line, yeah, okay, here’s what the thing is, with these assembly line jobs, is that the they work, so there’s like this computer program, and when they leave their station, it starts discounting their time and their money. So when this woman had more P bakes, she needed more P breaks from pregnancy, and then later she needed to pump, and she was losing a lot of time and money because the computer at her assembly line, like the desk, would detect she’s not there, and she would like, actually be punished for having human functions. So yeah, absolutely, my job is to, like, sit grown as men down and, like, explain that we have, we are human beings, basically. And it’s a very busy job. I’m very busy in this.

 

X Mayo  29:50

Oh, my God, because patriarchy never sleeps. Patriarchy never sleeps. Daphne, what? And then you’re the, oh, aren’t you the only firm that does. This in our country?

 

Daphne Delvaux  30:01

Yeah.

 

X Mayo  30:02

Okay, well, listen you got 56.

 

X Mayo  31:05

Daphne, it’s crazy to me, because it’s like, at what point do you start the process, like with your employer, you know, like trying to advocate for yourself at work, like, is there a risk of waiting to do that?

 

Daphne Delvaux  31:26

Yes, and when some mothers often wait when they’re pregnant to announce their pregnancy and they’re they also wait to start planning their leave, and that really is not a good idea, because you’re going to have to tell them anyway at one point, and the longer you wait, actually, the more of the of a chance that they’re going to be resentful, because it is. They do have to do some planning, right? They have to shuffle some projects around. They maybe have to bring in someone new. And if you’re telling them, like, with only, like, a few weeks left of your pregnancy, and you’re hiding your pregnancy, they’re usually going to be a little bit frustrated about that. In addition, you’re going to be losing out on all of these benefits and protections that you have, and your job is only protected when the company knows you’re pregnant. And if you’re like trying to push through your first trimester exhaustion and falling asleep on your job and they don’t know you’re pregnant, you can still get fired. So this is what the moms do. They’re like, oh, I’m scared to get fired if I tell them they’re pregnant, but I mean, your job is always at risk. At least if you get fired and they know you’re pregnant, you can sue them, you know. So I always tell mothers to announce their pregnancies, like, what? Right after they peed on the stick?

 

X Mayo  32:40

Okay, now, what is there something that is possibly being worked on? Because I don’t know the laws that are being presented, um, to have, because now, when you talked about, um, the woman who unfortunately had the miscarriage, is there something from, like, miscarriage, maternity leave, like there, or is it just sick time, or like PTO, because that’s like a specific it’s a different type of time off that you need, you know or.

 

Daphne Delvaux  33:08

Phrases, a really interesting topic, well, to me, because I’m a nerd, but, um, maternity leave as a concept doesn’t actually exist in the law. So we use either medical leave for for recovery of the body, or we use bonding leave to take care of a newborn. So when there is a miscarriage or a loss, we would use medical leave as well. So there we don’t call it miscarriage leave, and we actually don’t even call it maternity leave. That’s more of like a colloquial term we use in the workplace setting. But legally we oh, we can’t even say it.

 

X Mayo  33:37

Can’t even say it. Definitely, you don’t even say maternity no, it’s medical.

 

Daphne Delvaux  33:41

Right, the more that we speak about our body in like, medical terms, the more digestible is to the Lords of capitalism.

 

X Mayo  33:49

So like, what can employers, like, ask you or not ask you when you when you’re pregnant? If they see me being pregnant, they’re like, oh, X, you know, who’s the dad? You know, boy or girl you know, or like, you know, where are you registered, right? Or just like, what can they ask or not ask?

 

Daphne Delvaux  34:06

They can ask anything related to your time off needs, so that’s about it. Or they can ask anything related to any accommodations you need. So if you’re saying I need to work from home because I have back pain or pelvic pain, that they can ask a little. They can ask questions like, How often is the pain? How is it manifesting for you? But they can’t ask you, like, outright, you know, like, things about your private life. And they also can’t ask you like, oh, pregnancy hormones. Or, you know, it looks like you have some postpartum anxiety or depression going on, like they can’t weaponize your pregnancy against you, but they can only answer ask questions in the context of any needs that you have asserted.

 

X Mayo  34:53

Okay, that’s good to know. So all the moms and moms to be out there, that’s something that you should absolutely know. So I want to get into kind of, like, the muddy waters of, like, paid maternity leave in the US, right? You have to whisper it because they because you can’t say it, right? You can’t say it’s like, oh my God. It’s like testing. It’s like […]

 

Daphne Delvaux  35:13

Oh my god, whisper it right. They’ve all forgotten where they came from. All of them came out of vagina. They all came out vagina. Everyone is made initially from period one, like, that’s where we all started.

 

X Mayo  35:28

Oh, God, I am very excited. This interview has been amazing, but I’m just so angry. Okay, so I would like to talk about because, you know, post Pandem, people have been working at home. It gets very muddy, you know, when it comes to, you know, moms and and maternity leave. So what if you live in a certain state but you work remotely, right, like, what about the women working at small businesses and they don’t have a BS department, or, should I say, HR department? What about […]

 

Daphne Delvaux  36:06

Am I really enjoying this so much. So it’s really validating, because I spend with what, so much time with people that don’t get this right? So it’s really nice when, when I spend time with someone who really gets it.

 

X Mayo  36:21

Oh, my God yes, yeah, I’m here with you, eye to eye, but yeah. So what about, what about the moms and moms to be who are listening, who like work remote? How does that work?

 

Daphne Delvaux  36:32

So, when you work remotely, you apply the laws of the state where you live. So if your company is in New York, but you live in Colorado, then you’re going to be applying Colorado’s laws. So that’s just kind of what it is, okay. The good thing with remote work is that, you know, we have, of course, more flexibility. And so this is one of the great things that came out of pandemic. One of the bad things is that women were forced to leave their job at a rate four times higher than men. They were just continuously getting pushed out of jobs. But I do see that there’s a lot more flexibility. There’s a lot more in between like, okay, you’re now a stay at home mom, or you’re like, you never see your children ever again. Like, there’s a lot more in the in between, though, there are a lot more companies bringing their employees back to work because they they want that control, and they can’t trust people and so yeah, but you’re going to be using the laws of the state where you live, is the answer.

 

X Mayo  37:34

Okay, great. I love that. It makes it simple, so we can just now, now Daphne are, if I Google what the laws are within my state, are they actually gonna come up? You know, I don’t even trust Google. I don’t know what’s going on. They’re not does Daphne have her own server?

 

Daphne Delvaux  37:51

I do.

 

X Mayo  37:51

Where’s Daphne’s Wi Fi, right?

 

Daphne Delvaux  37:55

This is gonna be again where I saw a problem and I created a solution, because I have a whole program where I teach you exactly what your rights are in your state and what your options are, and how to ask for things and where to apply for your benefits, and I also answer questions in this program, it’s called the liberated mother society. So because when you’re going to Google your rights, you’re not going to actually get a complete picture of it, like you might get some some government information, but it’s never the government is not your ally. They’re not going to teach you how to maximize your time off or your money. So when you’re going to be trying to find your answers on the government website, it’s like, okay, we’re trying to find answers written by the people that are oppressing you. So it doesn’t really even make sense to use those as a resource like you need to actually find the allies. There’s a few really great nonprofits as well. ABB is one center for Cliff law. Are a couple that I really respect and admire, and they do also some free they provide a lot of free resources, and I also provide a ton of free resources. And if you do need, like, personalized guidance, like you can come find me inside of my program as well.

 

X Mayo  39:05

I love that, okay, we’re coming close to the end, and I’m very upset because I could talk to you for 50, 11 hours and also commiserate and also co conspire with you on how to advocate for women and mothers, because I don’t see motherhood for myself. I say this all the time on the pot, but I know my position within the community. I have mothered people, but I I just know that my job is to support and uphold and uplift so women, yeah, women like you that are doing such amazing work.

 

Daphne Delvaux  39:42

Thank you.

 

X Mayo  39:42

I just want to support, and I know a form of a way that we can support is supporting your projects, which a little birdie told me you’re writing a book, right?

 

Daphne Delvaux  39:51

Yeah, oh, my God.

 

X Mayo  39:54

Hello. In the midst of all this, starting a firm, she has her own Wi Fi, she has her new laundry. She has her bag. Babies. You know all she has her new velvet suit and still has the time to write a book. So, Daphne, what can you tell us about it? What can you tell us about the book?

 

Daphne Delvaux  40:10

So, so the book is an encapsulation of all of my secrets. In fact, this is the name. It’s called, Moms in Labor and Employment Lawyers secrets to protect your baby and your career that HR doesn’t want you to know.

 

X Mayo  40:23

First of all, Moms in Labor fucking iconic. And here’s, here’s my pitch, my pitch, here’s my pitch. And this is for free. Definitely it’s for free. But if you had like moms in labor for real, and the acronym was MILF, right? Right. Maybe that’ll be the meeting.

 

Daphne Delvaux  40:46

Oh, and then the cover, the cover picture should be meets working on a jet ski in a velvet.

 

X Mayo  40:53

At a drum circle. Don’t forget that part. Yeah, yes okay, so we got the title icon. Oh, mom’s in like that is beautiful. Okay, so what can you tell us about it? Just give us a little sneak peek, because people gotta buy it.

 

Daphne Delvaux  41:06

So it is both, like a very tangible how to like, telling you exactly what to say, what your rights are, how to navigate all of these tricky situations. And it’s also a liberation journey. So it’s just encouraging mothers and reminding them that they are the sovereign, powerful queens, divine incarnations of the great mother herself, embodied and to show up with that kind of respect for yourself when you’re going to ask for time off to be with your baby like we are continuing the human race, so you can either respect me or get out of my way, period.

 

X Mayo  41:44

Yeah, or choke. Fuck you. Sorry. Daphne, okay. So where should people be purchasing it? Should it be from your side? We want to send people directly to you.

 

Daphne Delvaux  41:54

Yeah, so the mom attorney is my Instagram account. Come find me for my so I teach a lot about these maternal rights, and I also just rage a lot about all these systems. And there’s just a lot of just kind of rebellion and revolution, just in a more general sense. And I’m also I talk about paganism, because I’m a forest, which so I just, it’s pretty there’s a lot going on. So I hope you can find me there, and I will be promoting the book there. And you can also get on my newsletter, which you can find on the mommaturney com. And then you’ll get, you’ll get the announcements.

 

X Mayo  42:37

Daphne, it was truly a pleasure. I hope that you take a moment, take a second, take a breather as a amazing woman first, right? Because your whole identity is not wrapped up in your work and you being a mother, but also to pause and just realize the amazing work that you’ve done, the lives that you’ve changed, the revolutionary work that you’re doing for women and moms like I don’t think there it can be quantified. I don’t think there’s $1 amount that we could put on it, but I know you do per hour, and you better fucking do it. And I just thank you.  This was wonderful and insightful, and I just feel so full leaving this conversation. So I just want to tell you thank you Daphne, and I will be buying that book.

 

Daphne Delvaux  43:17

So and just to be clear, I’m a contingency fee lawyer, so my clients don’t pay me. The moms don’t pay me. I take money from them.

 

X Mayo  43:23

Get out.

 

Daphne Delvaux  43:25

Oh yeah,  I would never charge a mom. We just got fired.

 

X Mayo  43:29

Definitely, that’s how we’re ending it. Start the church. Start it. You’re leading it. We’re going. I’m on the Usher board. I’m your assistant. I’m here. I’m ready to go, Listen, start, start the church. Just get it going.  What’s up? Thank you, so Daphne,  have a great rest of your day.

 

Daphne Delvaux  43:52

Thank you.

 

X Mayo  43:52

Bye.

 

Daphne Delvaux  43:53

Bye.

 

X Mayo  43:55

You know, if I ever wanted to become a parent, I for sure have Daphne on speed dial. I mean, who else is looking out for working moms and their rights definitely not your employer. And some of y’all might be saying, you know, well X, it’s too early to be thinking about maternity leave and stop my, but I saw you be on that stick last night, and you ain’t full of nobody. Okay, you heard that. The longer you wait to tell your boss you’re pregnant, the harder it can be to protect yourself down the line. So if you are with child or thinking about having a baby, do yourself a favor. Start familiarizing yourself with your state’s laws now, okay, but really, to all my mamas out there, it’s time to recognize your power at work and advocate for more financial and time freedom, because if Daphne taught us anything is that you can cherish your personal life without compromising a paycheck.

 

CREDITS  44:47

The Dough is a Lemonada original. I’m your host X Mayo. This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures. This series is presented by the Margaret Casey Foundation. Our producers are Tiffany Bui, and Dani Matias. Kristen Lepore is our senior producer. Mix and Sound Design by Bobby Woody. Original Music by Pat Mesiti Miller. Jackie Danziger is our Vice President of narrative content. Executive Producers include me X Mayo, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Help others find our show by leaving us a rating and writing a review. You can follow me on IG  @80dollarsandasuitcase and Lemonada @lemonadamedia across all social platforms, follow The Dough wherever you get your podcast or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership, thanks so much for listening. See you next week, bye.

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