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In this episode of The Sarah Silverman Podcast, Sarah gives us her famous De Niro impression and tries out her Obama.

She also hears from a caller who is seeking advice on how to find balance while being politically active and another who is struggling with remaining friends with someone who’s anti-choice but really good at giving gifts. Later, a young caller calls in to workshop her own diarrhea joke with Sarah.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Dustin, Sarah Silverman, Diana, Nathaniel, Jeff, Kevin Curry, Travis, Speaker 7, Alexander, Courtney, Andrea, Speaker 11

Sarah Silverman  00:00

Raise Your Glass to Taylor Swift with the Eras Tour. The new book with 60 cocktail recipes inspired by every era. You can shake it up with a James Dean daydream cherry spiked Martini or Indulge in a Tim McGraw worthy Old Hickory Lake – a peach and bourbon duo, perfect for slow dancing all night in your faded blue jeans. Boy Tim McGraw is so good in that 1883 with stunning photography of the cocktails and a design that reflects Taylor’s ever evolving style – from her country roots to pop anthem queen, is the perfect companion for your next listening party. London Boys, Miss Americanas, and New Romanticsalike. Grab your shaker tins. It’s time to make the whole place shimmer. The air as poor as available wherever books are sold.

 

Sarah Silverman  01:08

Hi everybody. It’s your old pal, Sarah – and look at this, we’re on video now, we back on video. I even wore a blazer just for you, but don’t get used to it. I don’t have much to say before we get into calls,but I will say that I was playing Call of Duty last night, of course, with Rory and our friends – Kelly and Charlotte. I’m just gonna say I tried out my new impression, which is years too late. I’m probably problematic, but I found that I can do Obama (Barack Obama) don’t boo, vote. Isabella is laughing. I prefer your De Niro, I’d like to show that as well. First of all, I’m so flattered you like my De Niro. Of course, De Niro is a very common impression. I feel like my De Niro is spot on. I’ve been told by people who’ve seen it, it is indeed not spot on, not good at all. In fact, terrible. But I will tell you from inside my skull, it feels exact. It’s not even words, so you can only enjoy this if you’re watching on YouTube. All right, this my De Niro.

 

Sarah Silverman  02:41

Anything? Now, I can see myself in a monitor and it’s not amazing. But inside of me, it feels very good. Don’t boo, vote. That was a good one. All right, let’s take some calls.

 

Travis  03:14

Hello, Sarah. This is your old friend, Travis. I’m now resigning in New York City, but I am in New England. I’m originally from Maine, and I just wanted to let you know that there was once in existence, I don’t think it’s existing anymore – a Grape Nuts flavored ice cream by this hometown ice cream shop called Cotes, C-O-T-E-S that I can’t find anymore. Every time I go back to New England or to Maine, I try and look for it in the grocery stores, and I can’t find it. I want you to know that it actually did exist, and it wasalways my mom and I’s favorite ice cream flavor. I think there needs to be a petition to get Cotes grape nut ice cream back in existence, so that’s the first thing. Second thing, you met my husband at theTony Awards a couple years ago. He was in Sweeney Todd and he saw you – and he was like, “LeBlanc, duty ismy favorite song”. And you said something like, “Oh, that’s awful”.

 

Sarah Silverman  04:29

No, I’m sure I said awesome.

 

Travis  04:31

That’s a funny story that we love to bring up every once in a while. Anyway, that’s it. I love you and I hope you’re doing well. You’re such an inspiration. Keep doing what you’re doing.

 

Sarah Silverman  04:44

First of all, I just looked that up Cotes Grape Nuts ice cream and it did come up. Then there’s also videos with instructions on how to make it. So maybe it’s just like, “Add grape nuts to your favorite vanilla ice cream or something”. But, it sounds incredible though. I love like a nutty, slight nod to health dessert. But,I hate to ruin this, and it would definitely be more sardonic if I said, “Oh, that’s awful”, but I am sure I saidawesome because I love that song. My sister Laura wrote that song, and we sing it in the episode, duty of the Sarah Silverman program, R.I.P. All right. What else?

 

Kevin Curry  05:46

Hey, Sarah. This is Kevin Curry calling from Oceanside, California. I just want to take a second to say that I really love what you’re doing with your time these days, and you’re just a joy as a human being. I’mcalling because I’m having a bit of a hard time with what is happening in our country and what it’s doingto the world. I guess what I’m what I’m asking is, I’ve gotten to the point where I’m going to some rallies like really peaceful non violent protests and feeling like I have a voice when it kind of feels like we’re up against this major opposition, and it’s been therapeutic. It’s been good. I’ve met some great people, but Iguess I’m calling because I’m having a hard time finding a balance of getting too invested in what’s happening in politics. It gets to the point where it feels like maybe it’s not healthy for me. I’m kind of just spinning. So, what do you do when you need to take a break from it, or just what helps you strike what you would say is a healthy balance between caring and then having some time away from it? Let me know what you think. Yeah, thanks.

 

Sarah Silverman  07:08

Kevin, I hear you loud and clear. I am struggling to finding the balance between your heart just tearing to shreds with the bombardment of every new right that’s being taken away on the daily funding for the needs of so many people just being dropped, putting people of color, women, trans people, the LGBTQIA+ people – everyone that isn’t a straight white man, are getting their rights chipped away. It’s just shocking and seemingly illegal, and all of it is comes from ego. From toxic masculinity, from vindictiveness. Essentially, our laws are being made by straight white in cells with micro penises and it’s really scary, they’re vindictive and they want you to know it. This is a heist. At the very least, you’re finding community, you’re learning that this is not just me. There’s a lot of us out here and not consuminghis content, not giving these scumbags our health, but also not ignoring it and doing something. It’s just a very hard balance. Again, I believe that the answer is going to be community. Will be the realization that we are here to take care of each other, and we don’t need anyone’s permission to do that. For us to say, “You want to come for trans people, you’re going to have to come through me”. You know, I saw Cory Booker speaking at a town hall, and that’s what he said. He has walked the walk with that beforewhen he was mayor or maybe even before he was mayor of Newark. First of all, he moved into the projects. He moved into public housing for two years until they fixed it. He moved and just lived there. Then he moved into, like a Winnebago part. He’s a huge guy. He had a football scholarship to Sanford, you know? He just parked it on the biggest drug dealing corner in Newark and lived there. Said, “You want to deal drugs? Do it in front of me”, see how that goes. Boy, I love him and this is what he said, “Youwant to come for trans folk, you’re going to come through me”, and I think that’s what we all have to say. But also, run towards joy wherever you see it, wherever you find it. Rest when you need it. Be ready for the long haul, but also protect your resilience with breaks to do absolutely nothing, Call of Duty. This is a group effort. This needs to be tag team shit, because we won’t be able to endure it all if we don’t take breaks. But, I love this country. I don’t want to live anywhere else and it’s really heartbreaking seeing it fall, so I get it. That’s all I got.

 

Dustin  11:11

Hi, Sarah. It’s Dustin from Baltimore. I’m calling in because someone called in saying that they were having trouble finding a therapist. They’d been to three, it wasn’t working out. I just wanted to echo whatyou were saying. I have a great therapist. I had a great one when I was living in Chicago. I moved to Baltimore. This is the fourth therapist I’ve worked with in Baltimore, and it took going through three otherones to find them. Maybe that person who’s gone through three, maybe the fourth one’s going to be the right one. You have to shop around. You have to find what’s going to work for you. They also mentioned having friends who were therapists that they couldn’t imagine being therapists. I have friends who are therapists that I wouldn’t let watch my cat while I was out of town, but they might be great at what they do.

 

Sarah Silverman  14:50

That’s true.

 

Dustin  14:50

You know, not every therapist is right for every person. My therapist is great for queer guy with PTSD, buthe might not be great for straight women with postpartum depression.

 

Sarah Silverman  14:50

Right.

 

Dustin  15:14

It’s all about what they’re good with, and who they’re working with. Something that I learned in therapy is that this isn’t like with teachers or doctors. They aren’t observing each other, unless someone writes a book. Therapy really happens in a vacuum because of various laws. You don’t really know what other therapists are doing. So, it’s really worth seeing what’s out there, and going in saying to a therapist, “I want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I’m taking medication. I don’t want to take medication. I like this. I don’t like this”. And setting your expectations up with what you want to get out of therapy. Don’t give up. Keep looking for the right one. It can be life changing.

 

Sarah Silverman  16:38

Oh, Dustin. I agree, don’t give up. Don’t give up on yourself. I mean, it’s become a lot more affordable now in different ways, different mediums of therapy, and you’re gonna find one that fits. You just have to find one that fits, that’s all. And you’re right about therapists working in a vacuum, but therapists see therapists. My best friend, Heidi is a therapist, and we go to the same therapist. But, therapists do see a therapist that might even be like a protocol or something. Heidi, I’ve known since I was 19, we’d like smoke weed and hang out in sheep’s meadow together, but I believe she’s amazing therapist. Thank you for calling in for that encouragement for the caller. What else?

 

Alexander  17:36

Hey, Sarah. Alexander here a fan from Croatia who keeps falling in love too hard which brings me to my issue. Recently, I fell for a girl who does not fall in love. She knew my feelings, but we remain friends. This fed into my hope that love may it bloom. And so I gave it my all to make her happy, but eventually she ended up treating me for the worse and went for my friend, who later on turned out to be quite the pity seeking actor and pathological liar with a hatred for everything, non-Christian. Yet, no one believed me that he’s bad for her, I’m just jealous. They said, both of them used to sit, eat, and drink at my table – andfor both, I did favors and bought presents, they thanked me like this by running a slander campaignagainst me. So, I quit college and almost took my life because of this betrayal. I’m done with pills therapy and talks with my friends and family. I would still like to hear your advice on how to move on, despite the injustice and desire to take the proverbial eye for an eye. PS: Your my first celebrity crush since I saw you on Star Trek “Much Love for Pula Croatia”.

 

Sarah Silverman  18:54

Alexander, thank you for calling in. I’m gonna give you some tough love. No matter how much you are inlove with someone, it is not their job to love you back. It is not incumbent on them to be in love with you back, to love someone or to not love someone is of your own free will. That’s how that works. So, youmight be positive that you’re the right person for her. But kid, I’m sorry that is not a decision you get to make, and I wonder if the fact that she doesn’t feel the same way has caused you to maybe fixate on her in this way, because you should be with someone that adores you, and she’s not that person. She’s just not. You can’t make her that person. Also, I believe that you should really never give someone presents so that they will love you or like you more – I think that’s a mistake or because you want anything from them in return. That is not the reason to gift to anyone anything or to give them presents. Not to curry favor, for no reason that is aspirational. Should you be giving someone presents? That’s not what gifts are for. Gifts are for people who already love you, or that you give because you want to, and you expect nothing in return. The second you expect something in return, it’s problematic and it’s not healthy for you. We so often give our best selves to people who do not love us, and we disregard the people who do love us and care for us- that’s ego stuff. So, try seeing the absolute gifts that are in front of you, that want to be there, that love you, that care for you, and do not spend time on people who don’t who don’t have those feelings. Sounds simple? I know it’ it’s harder than that, but what you really have to do is learn how to like yourself, love yourself with all your flaws. It makes the world a better place for you if you do that, but good luck. Please stop pursuing this woman, she doesn’t want you to. That’s the gift you should give her. Leave her alone. I’m sorry, but I’m glad you called in, and I hope this helps. I know it’s tough love, but you’re gonna be much happier if you can let go of this and go towards those that love you and care for you. All right, what else?

 

Andrea  22:21

Hey, Sarah, this is Andrea. I’m a few weeks behind listening, so I’m just catching up with the advice you had given about a caller staying connected to loved ones who have died. I loved what you said about emailing your unalive parents, about brag kind of things – that makes so much sense. But for me, what I really miss talking to my unalive fiance about is the everyday bullshit. What I ate for lunch, random gossip, whatever I just binge watch. So, every single night I recap my day to him, boring as it may be, butthe trick is that I have to say it all out loud. In my case, directly to him in his urn that sits in our bedroom, and then I tell him my plans for the next day. Again, boring and out loud and right before bed. And if I’m away and I don’t get to do it, it feels weirdly unsettling. So, I am so happy when I can get the conversation going again. So, that may work for your call or anyone else just thought I’d share. Thank you. Bye.

 

Sarah Silverman  23:25

That’s great. That’s just beautiful, and I’m glad that works for you. Whether you say it out loud, I like thatyou kind of push through and say it out loud. There’s something about speaking out loud when you’re alone that feels awkward and is just so powerful if you can push past it. Like me, you write it down. I think it’s very helpful, and I’m glad that it’s helpful for you too. Beautiful. What else?

 

Courtney  23:58

Hi, Sarah. This is your best friend, Courtney and voice twin calling from New Jersey. I called in about six months ago or so about my friend who is anti-abortion or you had better phrase it as anti-choice. And I was kind of struggling with (we’ve been friends for a long time), and struggling with how to explain to her that I can’t really be friends with someone that doesn’t agree that women should have body autonomy. You gave me some really great advice to kind of talk to her about being anti-choice versus anti-abortionand I didn’t actually talk to her, because I just decided she lives in another state, and we could just kind of phase out our friendship. But for my birthday, she sent me this really nice necklace. I kind of felt a littleweird about it, because I kind of just want to phase out the friendship, but she sent me this really beautiful necklace for my birthday. And now, I’m kind of like at this crossroads again, like “What do I do?”. Do I send her a gift? Which I obviously don’t want to. It kind of complicated things. Just wondering if you had any other advice and to follow up with your last great advice. Also, we just saw you in Montclair, me and my friends and we love you so much. You were amazing. It was a great show.

 

Sarah Silverman  25:29

That’s it. Look, with the necklace – you can return it. You can thank her and tell her you love it. You do not have to get her a present back. You don’t give people gifts so that they get you gifts. I believe that really is not people’s intention when they get you a gift other than a previous caller. But, if she’s testing you, then you’re gonna fail the test. I don’t like being tested by people. I’m personally terrible with gifts. I don’t like getting them. I don’t like giving them. It’s not that I don’t like giving them. I understand that that’s some people’s love language. I have friends – gifts are their love language, and they give me gifts. Iused to stress me out so much, but what I realized is they love giving gifts. That’s their love language. My love language is different, and they get that from me. But, I’m not someone who goes out and buys a candle for someone unless I see something that’s like, “Oh, this is so perfect for X, Y or Z”, then I’ll get it. But, I’m just personally not a fan of having more stuff. But anyway, go with what you feel. You owe hernothing. You don’t have to be friends with her, but you also can be friends with her. If you have any inkling to maintain a friendship, if it’s hurting you to not maintain this friendship, have it. You don’t have to have the same thoughts. It’s very hard with this, I know. I’m having similar struggles, but sometimes you stay friends with someone who thinks very differently. Loving them anyway, opens them up to be changed. My sister is very close with a very conservative, Orthodox Jewish woman. My sister’s a very reformed liberal Jewish woman, and she just loves her to pieces. My sister loves everybody. This woman, it was my nephew; Zamir’s Bar Mitzvah, and I went there to Israel to for it. She picked me up, her friend. I was doing a show there too and I remember she was like, “Is your show gonna be dirty?” And I was like, “Oh, it’s gonna be a two wig show for you”, because she wears the wig the whole thing. But she’s funny and she said to me, “Your sister loving me, even though we’re so different – has changed me”, and Ithink that can be a really beautiful thing. But, if you are not feeling this friendship anymore, you’ve grown pastit, you are totally bummed by her anti-woman ideology. I remember Rory saying, like “Why would women vote for this or, woman politicians vote for this stuff?” Because people vote against their own interests all the time. I don’t know what it is, if it’s self hatred. I don’t know what it is, but it happens. We know this happens all the time like Trump’s base – is getting pummeled by everything he’s doing right now. Some are disenchanted and that’s great, because it becomes kind of all of us against the Kleptocracy whatever fascism. But, some are just like ride or die with him, no matter what he does to them – and he knows it. Anyway, there you go. Maybe that jumble of words will help you – maybe not, but good luck. What else?

 

Speaker 7  29:40

Good morning, Sarah. Thank you for reminding me that all the trauma in my life is actually making me a funnier person, I can just be grateful the next time something fucked up happens. Here is my latest struggle. My partner of six years has recently come out as bisexual. He wants to open our relationship. He wants to explore what it’s like being with a man as his best friend. I’m so proud of him and I support him. I want him to be his true, authentic self. As his romantic partner, this is challenging. I’m definitely gonna give it a shot, see what it’s like. But, I’m very worried that I won’t be able to come around and I love him so much. He’s my best friend. We share a home together. We share a dog together, and we’ve shared the last six years of our lives together. So, would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks, girl.

 

Sarah Silverman  30:52

Listen, I’m hearing this happening a lot, and I believe it’s a positive thing. I think, a man in that position, previous to like now, would just stay in the closet about it and repress and that’s no good for a relationship or happiness. But, it becomes tricky. Thank God, he was vulnerable. He opened up to you. He told you, he shared with you his truth, give it a whirl. It will either work for you or it won’t work for you,or he’ll realize he’s more into men. At least now, you guys are gonna get the test tubes out and figureout what works for y’all and maybe you’ll end up being best friends and you’ll move on romantically to someone else. Maybe this is gonna be just the ticket for both of you. Maybe it’s hot, maybe it’s not. Maybe you’ll be in a throuple. Who knows what the future. None of us can predict the future, and it’s human nature to be afraid of the unknown. Ideally, we want to try to learn to be on the edge of our seat instead of fear and paralysis on what is going to happen next. We just don’t know in our lives. So, be on the edge of your seat and check in with yourself – how you feel, how it’s going, what you like and what you don’t like, and he should do the same. You’ll figure this out for yourselves and for each other. The truth is, if it’s mentionable, it’s manageable. So, you’re gonna figure it out. All right, let me know what happens.

 

Jeff  33:33

Hi Sarah. This is Jeff. I listen to your podcast every week. I’m a 75 year old guy, and I get a kick out of the advice you give people trying to figure out how to deal with their older parents. I’m blessed my kids get me. But, you had a piece on this week about a young woman who was concerned about her older parents, and you gave her great advice. I’d suggest something I do with my parents, and that’s to record them with stories of their childhood, their engagement, their marriage, and they’re both gone now. But, I listen to it regularly, and it’s wonderful to hear their voices. Just thought you might want to pass that on. Keep doing the good work.

 

Sarah Silverman  34:11

Jeff, I don’t have to pass that on, because you just did. You’re on the air and I think that’s brilliant. Listen,I recorded that with my dad and my stepmom. I have voicemails every week, voicemails from them. I videoed them all the time. With my mom who died 10 years ago, I have two videos of her and it’s all I have, and I’m grateful for it. Not only that, I believe when you put a camera on your parents, I think this is helpful when you’re not connecting with your parents, when you’re having trouble with your relationship with your parents, put a camera on them and ask them questions about their childhood. Ask them questions about their past. By the way, this should be fascinating to you. There’s probably so much you don’t know about your parents that maybe your parents have never been even in a position toexpress, to think about. I think only really good things come from that because the more you know aboutsomeone, the more you can understand them. It makes them feel a kind of way to have that kind of interest. As people get older, they get more and more invisible, especially women. To feel seen is something that is really elicits I think good stuff from people. When people struggle in their relationship with their parents, I just think that could be almost like a skeleton key into them, and we’ve got cameras right on our phones, all of us. I just think it’s only good comes from. I think it’s very interesting. I think there are a lot of revelations that can happen that way too. The more you find out about your parents,the more you understand about yourself. So, there you go. I think that’s a great call. I appreciate you, Jeff. And I think he sounds like he’s from New England, so I really appreciate you. Sounds very New Hampshire. All right. What else?

 

Diana  39:52

Hi Sarah. This is your best friend, Diana from Oklahoma. I just want to say that before your podcast, I thought you were a little vulgar, and never really watched your content. But, I binge want bench your whole podcast. I listen to it every week, and I started watching a lot of all your other stuff and I have several comments. One, why don’t you come to Oklahoma? Is it one of the those States that you don’t visit? I totally get it. It kind of sucks. But, there’s some good people around here. Second of all, I also have Misophonia. And today, the worst thing happened to me. A co-worker came and sat by me to workon something together, and why he did that. He ate a banana and I did nothing. I said nothing. What would you have done? Because like I said, I did nothing. After he left, I just totally spiraled, and I kept thinking about the sounds that he was making. Also, my wife thinks that I should make a shirt, because I speak Spanish. She said that I should make a shirt that says it’s not you – it’s my, Misophonia which is funny because me means like mine. For example, I would say “Me telephone over my phone”. So, it’s not you, it’s Misophonia which I think is hilarious, I might do that. Anyways, thank you for everything you do.  love listening to you. You’re wonderful person and I hope to see you one day. Thank you.

 

Sarah Silverman  41:20

Diana, thank you. And I think that t-shirt is an excellent idea. I was thinking, an apple is my biggest fear. An apple right in my ear, like leaning over me, looking at a computer or something like a coworker. But abanana is also horrible, because you can hear the mixing of saliva in the mouth and then that sweet smell. Girl, I’m with you. I love that t-shirt idea. That’s tough, I know it – that’s so tough because you don’t want to shame anyone or make them feel you know, it’s me. It’s Misophonia. You know, one of my favorite shows on tour, not this tour actually – two tours ago; Thackerville, Oklahoma which was a Makeup Show, a whole long story. I was in the hospital. I was on so many drugs. I have no visual memory of it, but one of the first things I wrote – because I couldn’t speak, I had a I was intubated, was “Thackerville”, because I was worried I was missing the show which, of course, I had to miss the showbecause I was basically. Anyway, it was a long story. I had throat emergency, throat surgery we’ve talked about it before, but I did make up the show Thackerville, Oklahoma and it was actually a casino show which are never like particularly special shows. But, I loved it, and I’ve always wanted to play Oklahoma City too. There’s a lot of places I haven’t been still, that’s not true. I’ve probably been to most states, but a bunch, I haven’t. I have been to Oklahoma, and I loved it anyway. There you go, Diana. I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come get you there next time I tour. All right, what else?

 

Nathaniel  43:21

Hi, Sarah. It’s Nathaniel, your old pal. My daughter has an observation she wanted to share with you. She thought you would appreciate this.

 

Speaker 11  43:29

My dad did […] and he writes in his diary and he poops diarrhea.

 

Nathaniel  43:38

That’s all.

 

Sarah Silverman  43:42

Wow, that’s some deep shit. Nathaniel’s daughter, great observations, I would say that’s beyond alliterative and maybe considered wordplay. Well done, kid.

 

Sarah Silverman  44:02

Thank you for listening to the Sarah Silverman podcast. We are a production of Lemonada Media. Isabella Kulkarni and Isaura Aceves produce our show. Our mixes by James Farber. Additional lemonada support from Steve Nelson, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Our theme was composed by Ben Folds. You can find me at Sarah Kate Silverman on Instagram. Follow the Sarah Silverman podcast wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your prime membership.