Red, White, and Blue or Green…Card? (with Lauren Ash)
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Fellow Canadian and actor Lauren Ash joins Sam to talk about why she continues to live on a Green Card rather than apply for US citizenship, and why on her 40th birthday she decided to try a career in music. She talks about why she’s not as easily swayed as when she was younger but how small decisions unravel her, and how helpful it is to have that special Canadian pragmatism. They also talk about what you lose with shorter seasons of TV, not getting SNL, and the everlasting importance of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
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Transcript
SPEAKERS
Lauren Ash, Samantha Bee
Samantha Bee 01:17
Happy Halloween, mother, fathers. Oh my gosh, I am feeling spicy. I can hardly stay seated right now. We are days away from election day, and the spookiest part of today is how nonchalant so many people in power are acting. Oh, so with under a week to go to save this country, I have some serious choice words for people who see the stakes and say, I don’t know, pass I’m looking at you Los Angeles Times, and I am looking at you Washington Post. For the first time in decades, each of these highly regarded legacy newspapers is abstaining from endorsing a presidential candidate. It feels like it should go without saying at this point, but this is not the time to sit on the sidelines. Come on. Both papers were allegedly prepared to endorse Kamala Harris, and in both instances, their billionaire owners interfered, utter cowardice. Newspapers have a responsibility to the public, to their readers. The owner of the LA Times said an endorsement would add to the division. Well, you know what? Sometimes division is okay. When I see fascism on one side, I want to divide the hell away from that. The Washington Post says democracy dies in darkness, and you better understand that complacency and silence help pull the plug.
Samantha Bee 02:48
This is Choice Words, I’m Samantha Bee. My guest today is the very funny actor and now musician Lauren Ash like meLauren is a native Canadian. You know what? We’re sick of people saying that if Trump wins, they’ll just move to Canada. This is where we live. This country is worth saving. Maybe you feel that whatever happens won’t alter your life drastically. But not everyone has that luxury. So vote like you don’t either. Let’s do this until then, take a listen and make good choices.
Samantha Bee 03:23
Hi.
Lauren Ash 03:24
Hi, how’s it going?
Samantha Bee 03:25
Good, how are you?
Lauren Ash 03:27
Good.
Samantha Bee 03:28
I’m thrilled that you said yes to doing this.
Lauren Ash 03:30
Oh, my God, are you kidding? This is such a joy for me, absolutely.
Samantha Bee 03:34
Just the joy is very mutual. Your your setup is so good, your headphones are so cute.
Lauren Ash 03:39
You know, I love a crisp white. I like a white, anything like I have a white car, which I know people think it’s like white car. It’s gonna show the dirt. I just think it looks so clean.
Samantha Bee 03:50
Can I say something, can I just make one observation, please? Well, we are both from Canada. Yeah, the only people I know who say that are Canadian, it’s my mom. It’s actually, it’s my yeah, my parents are the exact same way. Yeah. They’re like, you can’t get a white car, it shows the dirt. And then they’re like, also, you can’t get a black car because that’s too hot. Yep, it just it attracts the sun. Yeah. I’m like, every car is hot, and every car shows the dirt.
Lauren Ash 04:14
Yes, made up, yeah. And then you Yeah, I live in LA, and what you learn is that, is that it’s the cars don’t get dirty. Like, it’s like, you can go, you know, like they get dirty eventually. But you know what I’m saying? It’s not this, like, epidemic that we grew up thinking.
Samantha Bee 04:28
Well, where we grew up, cars were just dirty all the time, like, slush and crap everywhere, yeah? Just crap everywhere. Yeah? They also say that about stainless steel refrigerators. They’re like, it shows the hand prints, yeah?
Lauren Ash 04:41
So true. Very true.
Samantha Bee 04:43
Just see the finger marks, yeah, I wouldn’t do it. No, I’m not gonna do it. Can’t do it. And they, if they see, like, a big house and a picture, they’re like, I don’t want it. I don’t want that big house. Can you imagine the heating bill? Who’s gonna do the lawn maintenance? Like, it’s a very where we’re pragmatic?
Lauren Ash 04:56
Yeah? People, very pragmatic. People very practical, yes.
Samantha Bee 04:59
Yeah, very practical. Okay, we have a lot to talk about because, okay, I think the first time that we met was on our friend Alana Harkin, who formerly of full frontal, permanently of our lives from Canada, of course, she directed you in this incredible short called the godmother, which I’ll put on my socials, yes, and watch it for refinery 29 You’re so funny. Thank you. It was so fun to meet you that time.
Lauren Ash 05:26
It was, you know, it’s so funny because I moved to Toronto when I was, like, 18, and was very interested in in I was going for theater school, and then I dropped out after four months and immerse myself in the comedy world, and that was when the Atomic Fireballs were everywhere free, yes, so I have been like chasing Samantha Bee and Atlanta Harkin lore for a minute. Let’s put it that way.
Samantha Bee 05:56
I did not know that, I did not realize that, oh, boy.
Lauren Ash 06:01
Where did you grow up, Belleville.
Samantha Bee 06:04
Oh, you grew up in Belleville? Yeah, okay.
Lauren Ash 06:07
Where did you grow up? New Toronto.
Samantha Bee 06:09
I grew up in Toronto, I moved to I went to school in Montreal. I also went to school in Ottawa, and then I moved back to Toronto, and then New York got it. So that was my kind of like ping pong around two Canadians have to talk about Canada. We have to actually get it out of the way we do. That’s why we did that.
Lauren Ash 06:24
It’s true. Otherwise we we lose our passports, our citizenship. It’s a whole mess. You It’s we do. It’s in the Constitution.
Samantha Bee 06:30
Are you a are you a duel? Are you a dual citizen? I’ve never done that. You’ve never
Lauren Ash 06:35
I stay on green cards. I know you stay.
Samantha Bee 06:37
Okay, yeah, it’s okay well, if you need to talk about citizenship. I’ll you’re like, not, why would you talk to me about citizenship now?
Lauren Ash 06:44
So breaking disease right now, I’m really kind of, you know, you’re like, no when it comes if it came time where they were like, we’re getting rid of the immigrants, I’d be like, I’m on the first bus. You know what I mean?
Samantha Bee 06:57
Like, yeah, I’m. I’ll go, it’s okay. I’ll go, don’t make a fight.
Lauren Ash 07:00
No, fight exactly.
Samantha Bee 07:02
I’ll come back when it’s over exactly, and I’ll resume.
Lauren Ash 07:05
And then we’ll and then we can talk. But at this point, yeah, yeah, I’m not I’m not rushing. I’m not rushing.
Samantha Bee 07:09
Yeah, no, that makes sense. Okay, okay, so this show is all about choice. Yeah, choices that you’ve made, and you are making some big ass choices. So, we have to talk about all of this. But first, I want to talk to you about just like, ask you very generally, are you? Are you excellent at making choices? Like, are you? Are you, like, a big swing, no regrets, person? It sounds like it if you moved to Toronto and quit acting school and you were like, I do comedy now, this is what I do.
Lauren Ash 07:37
You know? What’s interesting is, historically, I would describe myself as being the worst decision maker on the planet. But what I realized that that is, is I think when it comes to big decisions, I’m, like, very resolute, and I can make them and feel good about it, but minutia, small decisions unravel me like it’s really, yeah, it’s really interesting.
Samantha Bee 08:01
It’s really, like, packing a suitcase, like, packing for a trip.
Lauren Ash 08:04
Oh, gosh.
Samantha Bee 08:05
Just confounds.
Lauren Ash 08:06
I mean, I’m the person that takes two suitcases for three days, you know what I mean? Like, it’s, yeah, I’m like, but what if? What if? And then the one time I’ll, like, pare down, you know what I mean, and I’ll, like, pick out words. It’s a disaster every time.
Samantha Bee 08:19
Yeah, you’re like, oh, it snowed. Yep, it’s never. They’re like, it’s never, it’s never snowed in Rome at this time of the year. And you’re like, great, I’m here, and it’s freezing, right?
Lauren Ash 08:28
And I’ve packed all these gladiator sandals and absolutely nothing else.
Samantha Bee 08:34
When I think about career decisions too, like, what is the process for you? Because I’m sure that things come your way, and you don’t know, and you have to, you’re at the mercy of what people offer you and what choices are possible. And there’s a lot of ingredients that go into directing your the focus of your own performing career, right? What is that like for you?
Lauren Ash 08:56
You know, I definitely have to outsource like I think I definitely need other people’s opinions. I very rarely will make a decision solely on my own, once in a while, maybe, but there’s certain people in my life, and then now professionally, there’s certain people on my team that I really trust, and so yeah, if it’s a really hard one, then I’m definitely like, I’m gonna probably get four to eight opinions before I make that decision. But that being said, I do think like I’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older, or should I say, wiser, I’ve gotten better at really taking those opinions and then truly making the decision myself. I think when I was younger, I think I often made decisions I was more easily swayed, if that makes sense. And I think that part of my growth that I’m proud of is that now I can kind of like temper and truly hear it for what it is and opinion, but then turn, turn internal at the 11th hour and make the call right.
Samantha Bee 09:57
When you were coming up in comedy, when. You were young and you were starting out, were you like, I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna take the world by storm, or were you more like, I just want to make my living. I just want to, I guess, what was the goal?
Lauren Ash 10:09
The whole goal, from the beginning, from, from, you know, childhood was Saturday Night Live. That was it okay. And so I, I researched and I determined what needed to happen in order to get Saturday Night Live based on the history of other people. So the whole reason I discovered Second City in Toronto was because I was like, Oh, well, you know, all of these different SNL alums went through second city, so I guess that’s what I have to do. So I did the touring company in Toronto. I did the main stage in Toronto, and I was like, I gotta do the Chicago main stage, because that’s what they all did. And so then I did and then Lorne Michaels came to watch one of the shows, and I was like, it’s happening, baby. I did it. I did the thing. And I never got, never got an audition for SNL. Damn I got passed over. And you know what? It was a beautiful in hindsight, it was a beautiful experience, because there’s something very interesting about spending the bulk of your life to that point, for more time than not, focused on that one goal, and then you’re being told point blank, it’s a no. And I know the people are like, Well, you could have then got an audition. And I was like, Lorne Michaels came to the show and saw me live, and it was, it was a pass. I think it’s a, probably a pass. And I think that that was actually really positive, because then it went, I had to go, well, that’s not the only thing you can do. What else would you like to do? You’ve come this far, there’s obviously other options available to you. And so I think it was really a huge gift in the journey was, was getting that note.
Samantha Bee 11:43
Yeah, like, it’s a shift in the mindset that’s so healthy. You’re like, no, no, but Oh, I forgot that I built a whole career, right? Yeah? Like, oh, I forgot that I’ve already achieved something that people dream, right? Maybe I should see that.
Lauren Ash 11:59
And it’s not positive, it’s not that. It’s like, oh, I got there, and then that one door closed, and then it was like, Well, I guess you’re, you’re gonna have to become a mechanic. Like, it’s like, no, like, there’s other, there’s obviously a million other options.
Samantha Bee 12:11
You know, there’s a lot of opportunities.
Lauren Ash 12:14
And I think, really, I find it so interesting, because that’s, I think this is true in a lot of aspects of life, but I think sometimes when you present things in that way where you’re like, and then I got there and it didn’t happen for me, people don’t want to hear that. They’re like, Oh, and I’m like, No, but it’s actually a good thing that it didn’t happen.
Samantha Bee 12:32
Yeah, it’s good. It’s not say it’s not it’s not sad at all. It’s just sort of like you’re what you think it’s going to be when you when you go for something that feels risky or like that offer? Well, first of all, I don’t think that any career really offers the promise of success and a future across the panoply of careers that are possible, but especially in the Arts where, like literally nothing has promised you, and you could spend a whole lifetime working for $0 Yes, and no health insurance, right, ever. If you’re working toward a specific goal and you pivot, it’s like, but you’ve built, you’ve got all these building blocks. It’s not actually, it’s like any career is going to take you in unexpected directions. You just have to kind of be open to the direction totally like, just, I don’t know Martha Stewart talks about that. And you know what, I don’t seek the counsel of Martha Stewart. It’s not like, I’m like, she’s not my spiritual guru, but I like how she talks about unexpected opportunities that come along, and you have to just be like, Oh yeah, right.
Lauren Ash 13:39
And listen, I thought a lady that’s right, that’s made a made a real path for herself has, really, has taken it as far as you can probably go, 100%
Samantha Bee 13:47
Yeah, just her and her $3,000 barn jacket, picking lavender, putting it in a basket.
Lauren Ash 13:54
Oh, that basket. She probably wove it herself, or asked someone to, you know, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.
Samantha Bee 14:01
I don’t know. Okay, so now let us talk about a choice that has really changed your life. Yeah, how are you reflecting on that question?
Lauren Ash 14:11
Well, it’s obviously also career related, and it’s interesting because it relates to what we’ve already been talking about. But yeah, you know, I so for context, again, continuing the journey, I didn’t get SNL, but then shortly after, a few years after, I booked my first American TV show, which was called super fun night, which was on ABC, we did one season. And as a quick aside, Michael Wilson, right? That was the Yeah. And as a quick aside, I have to say, Molly Shannon was a guest on one of the episodes who was, oh, my, I, I wanted to be her. And it was this full circle moment where she said to me, between takes one that she’s like, why didn’t you ever do SNL? And I said, Oh, I never, I never got asked. I never auditioned. And she goes, You just skipped a step. You just skipped a step. And it was this moment, though, of just what we were talking about, where I was like. Oh, anyone on the planet to say this to me? Right? It was such a beautiful like you’re going on the right path kind of moment. So that show, of course, unceremoniously ends, as most of them do. And for context, I had moved here to do that show. Had to get a green card, which is a huge expense. Had to find an apartment here on short notice. And Los Angeles now is obviously way worse, but still, at the time, very expensive. I didn’t know about the intricacies of the United States tax system. So I was like, Oh, just tax me as an individual, I didn’t know. And because.
Samantha Bee 15:37
Yeah, I feel sick, yeah, tummy.
Lauren Ash 15:40
Trust me, so did I. So the long story short is, is I came out of that show in debt because I had to spend so much money and I was already not, yeah, I wasn’t not getting paid. No, a large amount at all. But by the time I paid for my green card and the moving and the tax and the I was I was like, Oh my gosh. And I had never been in debt. You know, I had been working, working a working actor in Canada for years, and it always made like a more than decent enough living doing that. So this was like a wild shock to my system. And I remember I was starting to get a little desperate in that time period, because I was uncomfortable being in debt. I also was like, do I have to get a a a normal job, like, I’ve reached this career pinnacle, and now am I gonna have to which there’s obviously nothing wrong with that. But it was a an ego moment, right? Sure. And I had, I got this audition, and I was auditioning for everything. Like, I was like, yep, put me out. I’ll do it, right? I did this audition, and they gave me a call back. And so then I kind of was like, Well, what am I really looking at here? Right? Like, well, what’s the real? What are the deal here? And it was a show that I won’t name, but it was a show that would was going to shoot in Puerto Rico, and you had to agree to move to Puerto Rico for a year. And the show was very funny. The role was very funny. But there was just something at that moment in my career that I was like, and this is also, you know, now post pandemic. We do all of our things on Zoom, we can audition, we can call back, we can screen test chemistry. But at the time, it was like, the idea of pulling myself out of LA to go to that distance and live there for a year, I was like, I’m really kind of pulling myself out of the game. I’m kind of putting all of my eggs in the basket that that show has to succeed and do well and continue. I’m also in debt and have no money and really need to work. And I really kind of grappled with it, because it was one of those things where the practical choice was to take the job, Lauren, you need to work and make money and all of the above and survive. But the other part of me, I was like, there’s just something in my gut that was like, I don’t think this is it. I’d only been in LA a year, and then it’s like, now I’m moving the other way, and I have to find your own place. And it’s this, it’s a it’s a lot of upheaval on top of the fact that I was just like, I just don’t know. And so I I turned it down. And then they were like, you don’t have to audition again. We’ll just give you the part. God damn it. And I was like, ah, and I turned it down, which, in retrospect, I was like, what a ballsy move. Lady, what like? But yeah, it just, I was like, I just don’t think it’s the thing. It’s no shade on that show or that role, again, very funny, very great part, but I did, and then it was a few months later that I booked Superstore, which was the show, of course, that changed my life. So yeah, it was one of those things where sometimes it’s actually so funny that we’re doing this today, because recently I’ve I’ve had a couple of decisions have to come up in in similar ways, and I’ve felt drawn to go the other way, and then I’m reminded it’s like, but remember 10 years ago, when you were a lot younger and a lot like not as doing as well as you are now, you made a really tough choice that really served you. You should listen to your own story. You should take your own kind of advice in these kinds of ways.
Samantha Bee 18:59
You know that really is a power move.
Lauren Ash 19:02
It was a power move.
Samantha Bee 19:03
Which a power move.
Lauren Ash 19:04
Again, sometimes I’m like, I do feel shocked that I made that choice. It was a bold choice, but it did pay off.
Samantha Bee 19:10
It did pay off and, like, just instinctively, like, do you feel those kinds of decisions in your bones? I know that I feel like I do like, as you’re thinking about the kind of, like, the contours of what it would look like to pick up all your stuff and move again. You’re, like, it’s not sitting in my body, like it’s, I can’t see the future of it. I can’t picture it totally. Is
Lauren Ash 19:34
That totally, it’s a, yeah, it’s a real gut feeling. And I think that that always exists. I think that that the decision making and and when I have to, like, outsource to get other people’s opinions, it’s often because it’s like the practical reality layer, if that makes sense, like the conscious layer, the gut layer, oh yeah, it immediately knows. And I feel like it always does. And listen, sometimes I think in like. You can override that if it’s if it’s something that it feels like the other payoffs may be worth it, but sure, yeah, I think for the big things, like again, having to uproot your life and move to another place, it’s like, that’s really gotta listen to that.
Samantha Bee 20:18
We’ll be right back after this.
Samantha Bee 21:47
You’re so good. Six seasons of super soft feels like, doesn’t that feel now, almost like it’s just very rare, shows don’t really run for six seasons, typically, anymore at all, and I really miss that. So do I so really like it? Just like a traditional like many, many episodes per season, just like a lot to sink into. I feel like we lose a lot with shorter seasons of television.
Lauren Ash 24:22
Well, we lose a lot of, like, shitty episodes too, which I love. You know what I mean? Like, if you’re in a 22 episode season of any show, there’s gonna be a couple stinkers, which I love. I think that that’s like, that’s part of what, you know. I think now there’s like, so much pressure that every moment of every episode has to be this home run touchdown level. And I’m like, but that’s not what it always was like. There’s, we can all remember, like, big, wonderful shows that had episodes where you were like, that was a weird one, you know. And it’s like, what a joy. Like, I feel like that’s part of like, that’s part of what with the the art form. Term is that’s part of, like, what television has always been. So, yeah, you know, it’s, it’s interesting. I feel like we were one of the last comedies, especially, I think that will have gone that long.
Samantha Bee 25:11
Yes, and you worked with Mark McKinney, yes. Did you love that? Oh.
Lauren Ash 25:15
I gotta tell you, kids in the hall. For me, also growing up, was like, right? The Bible, that was like, appointment viewing for my mom and I on the CBC there. And that was that was, like a wild moment, like when he when I found out he had been cast on that show, I was just like, again as someone who my ultimate dream was SNL. Then it was like, Oh my gosh, but now I’m doing this other thing. And like, I never, in my wildest dreams thought I would get to work with Mark McKinney. I never thought that that would be possible.
Samantha Bee 25:46
Do you, okay? So let’s talk about your band. When we talk about your band, okay, so tell me the trajectory, yeah, of your music career, because you have, you have your comedy career, you have your acting career, and it is now running parallel with a burgeoning music career. So tell me. Tell me the genesis of this. Okay, so you hired a band on your birthday. What is the how did you to start at the beginning? Have you always? You’ve always been writing music.
Lauren Ash 26:12
I’ve always been writing music. So yeah, when I was, I think I got my first guitar when I was, like, 13, and, okay, truthfully, like, in high school, I really wanted to be in a singer in a rock band like that was, that was ultimately, like, really the dream. It was like that or SNL, if I had to have chosen, I would have chosen the band like that was okay, for sure.
Samantha Bee 26:34
I think that’s a very I think that’s like, very common, yeah, that all these people, if you talk to a lot of like, superstar actors, they’re like, actually, I wish I was just in a rock band, like I could, if I could just, like, play tambourine and Radiohead, I’d just like, give it all up. Oh, give it all away.
Lauren Ash 26:47
Absolutely, it’s so true. Every actor wants to be a rock star. Every rock star wants to be an actor. I think is like, the ultimate truth. I think it’s the rules. It’s just the rules. It just is. But, yeah, I was in a band. One of my bands in high school was called DNA, that stood for, definitely not Americans.
Samantha Bee 27:04
Oh no, boy, don’t tell anybody irreverent he.
Lauren Ash 27:09
Well, I’ll never get, I’ll never get that citizenship if I keep springing this on people. What a what a Belleville title anyway. So it’s always been something that I’ve done. I remember when I was, like, in my 20s, and I left Second City and I had nothing going on. I like, recorded an album of acoustic songs, like in my living room. I like, taught myself how to record on my computer, and wow, most of them were very bad, but one of them, I think, was okay, but so it’s always kind of been there. And even, you know, throughout my time in LA, like, I write songs, it’s the thing I do. I would come home from like, a day on superstore and, like, get out the guitar and, like, that’s what I do to unwind or whatever. And so a couple years ago, I was like, why don’t I do this? I was like, I’m at a point in my life I was having a big birthday, and I was like, why don’t I live the dream? I’m I’m always wanted to do this. I’ve never done this. So I for my 40th birthday, I hired a band. We put together a set of of cover songs. I threw a concert. I made merch. There was a giant merch table for all of my family and friends. I had a photo shoot done, and I blew up all the pictures to like, giant poster size, like it looking like a roll. I made a Rolling Stone cover, a fake Rolling Stone cover, I put them all around, and I put on a concert for my friends that I forced them to enjoy. And it was the best night of my life, without hyperbole, like it truly. I was like, I’ve never felt more alive. I’ve never felt more joy. And I was like, why don’t I keep going? So one of the guys in the band who are these amazing like, touring and studio musicians, who are incredibly talented and like, they listen to a song once, and they can play it like verbatim, like it’s just, it’s wild to watch these people work. But one of the guys was like, I’m a producer. Like, do you want to come and play me some of your songs that you’ve written? And I was like, Yeah, okay. And it’s funny because people, as an actor, who, again, comes from comedy and live performance, people, I think, are surprised to learn a that I in general, I’m an introvert, and B, that I was terrified to go and play this man my songs. It was the course most nude I’ve ever felt. I was like, this is a level of vulnerability that is like, Oh, you want me to to sing five feet away from you. My, my songs about my, my feelings like, this is a lot. So I did, and we, we started recording. We recorded the first one was a song called, now I know that I wrote that I had been playing on my guitar at home for like, three years, and that was an amazing process, especially as like an improv person, like coming into the studio and I played it for the band, and we did it old school, like we did it with a live band who were like, figuring it out on the fly. And then it kind of like becomes this thing, like, it’s, it’s like, improv, like, it’s like, it becomes this thing in front of you, and suddenly this, like, tiny little song has all these instruments and parts and layers. And it was like, I remember just being like, truly, like a child, like, just like beaming. Like, I was like, this is the coolest experience of my life. And so we put that song out. And I’ve, I’ve continued to put music out. I put out a Christmas EP last year of like, pop punk Christmas songs, and I just released a next, my next single, which was called pathological, which I worked with some different producers. And it’s like, it’s such an interesting thing, because it’s like any other art which I know sounds like, of course, Lauren, how would you not know that? But you have to find people that you really gel with. And it’s like comedy, right? Like, there’s people that you like, really click with and it works, and there’s people where it can still be good, but maybe it’s not, you know, and I’ve been lucky enough that the producers, all the producers I’ve worked with, have been great. And we’ve, we’ve, it’s just been like a very different, you know, to go from, like, the process with a full band to then also the process of working with producers, where it’s like, all on a laptop. It’s just like, fascinating that there’s so many different ways in.
Samantha Bee 31:08
I’m also an introvert, I have never when you said that, he was like, come over and play your songs to me. I was like, I wanted to die inside. It was like, that sounds like the scariest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. It was terrifying. Terrifying. Oh my gosh, yeah, so incredibly vulnerable. Yeah, she listened to, Do do you like Maria Bamford, of course. Oh gosh, I just, god damn love her. So, yeah, I just love her. I just think she’s just one of the funniest and she does that where she’s like, she just practices her sets with like, two people in a coffee shop? Yeah, she will just deliver 40 minutes of comedy into the barrel of two pairs of eyes across a couple of lattes. And I’m like, that’s incredible to me. Yeah, can 100% do things up on a stage in front of tons of strangers, but like, one on one is very.
Lauren Ash 32:00
Very tricky. It’s very different. It’s a different Yeah, it’s a different energy, for sure. Feels, feels feels sickening. Feels sickening, for sure.
Samantha Bee 32:07
Sickening. Yeah, and so are you performing a lot as a musician? How much are you performing as a musician in front of crowds of people?
Lauren Ash 32:15
So you know what? Probably not as much as I would like to I I’ve performed here at the Viper Room a couple of times I performed at the Whiskey a Go, go, the peppermint club. And, I mean, listen, like it’s all me just chasing this, like I’m just trying to impress my teenage self. Like I’m literally like, hey, because the Viper Room and the Whiskey a Go, go, like, for me as a kid in Canada, like it was like, that’s the ultimate like.
Samantha Bee 32:40
That’s, those are the names this.
Lauren Ash 32:42
That’s, yeah, those are the only places that are cool in the world. So, yeah. So at this point, I’m, I’m currently, like, what I really want to do, and I haven’t really said this, but what I really want to do is, like, next summer, like, play side stages at like, big festivals. Like, I’m not saying that I gotta be headlining. You know, that’s not we’re very realistic. We’re very Canadian pragmatic over here. You know what I mean? Like, oh yeah, I get it, yes. But I’m like, wouldn’t it be fun to just be like, in the in the mix? You know what I mean? Like, it’s like, at 11:45am Lauren Ash is playing stage G at whatever, you know, that’s, that’s what I think would be really fun.
Samantha Bee 33:25
And you’re just immersed in a world that you love, yes, that, and you’re doing something that means so much. It’s like, listen, Lauren, I gotta give it to you. I think this is really fucking cool. Thank you. Because, like, they’re truly, and I will I say, you know, we’ve both experienced fun, interesting careers, lots of success, awesome. It’s all awesome. And if at some point you can’t totally do the thing that you love more than anything else, then really, truly, what was it for 100 what was any of it for? If you can’t figure out what you love and find a way to do that thing. It’s the essence of everything.
Lauren Ash 34:06
Yeah, because also, you’ve also done this long enough that it’s like, when you when you do something long enough like, it’s a joy. Like, my my job, my normal job, is amazing. I, of course, I love my job. But what people also forget is, if you’re an actor, it’s like, you get to live your dream in 45 second chunks. You live your dream between action and cut, and you get like, you know, if you’re working, you’ll get like, a few of those in a day, and then the rest of the time, you sit and you wait and you grind to try and find your next job, and you, you know, grapple with, like, is, am I ever going to work again? And all those fun actor things, but like, there’s so much that goes into getting that those moments that is very mundane, very I would give there. Dare to say boring, which is great, and it is what it is. But because of that, it’s like over time, yeah, you if there’s something that can, like, really reignite your, like, passion for art and creativity and all of those things, you gotta do it. You gotta do it. It feeds. It feeds the rest of it too, right? Like it feeds all does.
Samantha Bee 35:19
It satisfies it like scratches all the itches. There is a certain, there is a certain, like, roteness to grinding out a job, yeah. Like, it’s always really fun when you get hired for something and then you’re like, wait, I have to do the thing. Yes, I have to actually, like, I have to be here on when.
Lauren Ash 35:37
My alarm is off, going off 3:30 okay.
Samantha Bee 35:40
Because I just, I just put the check in my bank account, and I didn’t think about the all the steps, right. But if you’re doing something that is 100% like, it’s all you right.
Lauren Ash 35:53
Start to finish.
Samantha Bee 35:55
Yep, like, succeed, fail, somewhere in between. It doesn’t really matter, right? It’s the it’s the art itself. Yeah, it’s actually, like, it’s the whole enchilada. And I really, I think that’s really awesome. So you’re writing songs, are you’re writing scripts too, aren’t you? Okay, look, you know what, creativity?
Lauren Ash 36:17
Listen, I don’t do well with downtime. I’m not great being idle. And so it’s like, in the pandemic, I think I’m like, the only person that burnt out, like I was doing every possible zoom, anything I was writing like crazy, like, again, I feel like I’m like, the one person that just like, overextended myself at a time where, like, maybe I should have taken a nap. When the world took a nap, I should have too. But I think that part of actually the push to do the music was also because I was writing so much, writing so many specs, and not to be boring shop talk, but getting so close, like, getting so close so many times to, like, getting the thing made, getting the thing going, like, really getting to, like, the highest level you can, other than actually doing it, but then it not happening, not happening. And there’s something about, like, with writing a song, it’s like, I have the idea, and then I write it, and then it’s done, and then it exists in the world. And that, for me, was almost healing, because it was like, there’s something that’s very satisfying about creating something the way you want to create it. You don’t have to take those notes if you don’t want to. And, you know, yeah, and so that was, that was actually, it’s interesting you bring that up, because that was actually kind of like a part of this too, was that it was like, this was almost a response, in some ways, to, like, I had some real, real close ones, real big disappointments, but then it was like, this was a nice heart healer after that.
Samantha Bee 37:47
That’s good, the immediacy of it, the immediacy, I think it’s, I think that’s why people love doing live comedy too, yeah, because it’s immediate. Like, you write a joke, you think of a joke, you do the joke, it pass. It passes or fails, right? And then it’s, it’s over, and you can, like, use it again if you liked it, right? Move through it. You just move through material, right? Unless you, you know, unless you’re a person who’s, like, constantly doing the same set for 20 years, which also exists, yeah, I could not do No, if my life depended on it. Yeah, get that.
Lauren Ash 38:17
I don’t get that. I don’t get it either.
Samantha Bee 38:19
Would you ever do a like? Would you merge the worlds of songwriting and writing? Are you a musical person like, Are you a musicals person? Do you like? You know, that kind of hybrid experience?
Lauren Ash 38:34
Totally. I’m I can’t call myself a full like, musical theater person, because there are people in my life who are and I do not add up. I don’t live up. But that being said, definitely love a musical. Definitely always loved a musical movie. Like the Moulin rouges of the world were very big in my life. When I was younger, I always wanted to be in a production of Rocky Horror Picture Show. I always wanted to be in a production of hair like these are, these are things that you know definitely resonates. So, yeah, you know, I think that’s interesting. I think that there’s definitely a world with with crossover. For sure, I feel like it would be bizarre for me not to explore that.
Samantha Bee 39:16
Hold that thought more choice words. After one more break.
Samantha Bee 39:25
My dad just told me, well, as I was actually, as I was on the phone talking to him on the way here, he’s lives in Brampton, Montana, beautiful Brampton. He was like, I’m going to get a copy of Rocky Horror Picture Show, and I’m going to play it for all my septugenarian friends. They’ve never seen it before. I’m like, what? He’s like, I’m gonna get a kit and we’re gonna throw a toast. Oh, like the screen. We’re gonna do the whole thing. I’m like, yes.
Lauren Ash 42:37
I have to tell you I saw, I went to a live screening of Rocky Horror in LA like, within the past year. And I was so excited, because I in high school that was like, Oh, my thing. I mean, huge, but I haven’t been to a screening since, um, that’s a chunk of time. So it would get to the moments where I would like be ready to do the thing, right? Sure where it’s like, you know, at this point you say, say something in French, right? And I was so excited to be in like a group scenario doing it. But then no one knew, the same ones that I knew why. So I’d be like, real, say something like, I was just like, I would just, I would just crumble. But then the young kids, the kids that were like, 16 to 25 that were there, the things they were calling out were like, truly, so extreme. Like, I don’t know how graphic I can get on this show, but like, literally, like, fuck her in the ass till she tasted in her throat. Like it was like, like, it was like the and every every line of the movie had a call out, like every line had a and I was, like, so overwhelmed and overstimulated. And I felt like such an old lady. I felt such a like, like, clutching my pearls, you know, my handbag.
Samantha Bee 43:59
I know I was like, holding my hand.
Lauren Ash 44:01
I’m wearing gloves. Gloves. Yeah, it was very eye opening, definitely.
Samantha Bee 44:07
Oh my god, imagining watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show and being like these children are being too salty. This is rude. It was to this beautiful movie from the past.
Lauren Ash 44:20
Oh yeah, exactly disrespecting.
Samantha Bee 44:23
This classic move.
Lauren Ash 44:24
Excuse me, they’re eating the corpse of meatloaf. Have some decorum, please.
Samantha Bee 44:30
That movie was seminal in my personal development. And I got to tell you, if I met Tim Curry today, I would diet. And there are very few people who I can truly say that about? I’m like, Yes, and I tell my kids that because they watch home alone every Christmas. And I’m like, That’s the guys. And they’re like, What is wrong with you?
Lauren Ash 44:52
He’s one of the ones for me too, for sure.
Samantha Bee 44:55
Oh no, I can never go see a screening. But you know what? You’d be very comfortable at my dad’s side. Dictionary and screening.
Lauren Ash 45:01
That’s the speed I’m looking for. Okay, yeah.
Lauren Ash 45:05
Yeah, you know. And that was interesting. I don’t know. It’s interesting how I, like, get myself into things, and then I’m like, oh, figure it out. Like, I think that was one of those things for me where, again, it was like, I’ve been writing so many things for TV and film or trying to etc. It was like, What’s something you can control? I hear myself, but listen, it’s okay that my I see a therapist. It’s all right, I’m aware, but it was like it’s, there is, again, something that’s like, really interesting about creating things that you can control. I think, I think when we do this job long enough, and again, I don’t want this to sound at all like I’m complaining about my job. I love it. It’s, it’s not that at all. But there’s just realities, right, where it’s like, Yes, you are going in and doing things that are are out of your control. And there’s something that’s like, very at this stage in my life, I guess I’ve really craved to do things that are meaningful to me, that I have, that I and not through having to, like, disseminate someone else’s opinions about the thing that is meaningful, right? Like, so, yeah. So it was a, yeah it was a great experience.
Samantha Bee 45:05
They’re gonna get it right. Yes, there’s gonna be some pearl clutching for just like regular old reasons. Yep, it’s gonna be totally fine, absolutely okay. You also had your playwriting. You’re very busy. Yeah, and you know what this again, I’m not gonna say that only Canadians are busy and pragmatic, but we are our people. We like to work. Yes, we like to we rise and grind. Yes, the Canadian way, whether we’re picking potatoes out of a field, whether we’re sewing corn or writing documents for other people to perform, 100% so you did play? You did a play?
Lauren Ash 45:40
A great experience. Yeah, everybody hates taking note. Like, but you get to know your you get to know yourself as a performer. You get to know yourself. You get to know physically, what you like. You get to know what you want to look like. There’s all of these little stages of a career where you can come into your power, yeah, if you’re able, you can come into your power and go, I don’t actually like brown eyeliner, right? I don’t feel good in it. So please don’t use that. And everyone goes, what? But you have to be strong, like you find little ways to take it back, yeah? And then you start to learn that actually being in charge is great.
Lauren Ash 47:31
Yeah well, it’s interesting, because I was great. When I was going through my initial music, I dyed my hair pink, which was just like one of my again, childhood dreams, which is an actor, we don’t, we never do that. Are you kidding? You have to, like, do that, click your headshot or whatever. And I was like, I’m not working right now, and this will wash out. I’m just gonna do it. And it was so interesting that, that you say that, because I had this moment where I looked at myself and I was like, Oh, I I feel like I look like myself, but I never would have known that I didn’t look like myself, if that makes any sense, it makes I was like, Oh, this is, this is the person that I am. And it’s interesting, because, again, I feel like you get in, in, into these careers and as actors especially, and you have to, you have to, like, make yourself at least look consistent, you know. And for me, it was always like, what do I have to do to be the most successful? Well, I have to look consistent. I can’t have visible tattoos. I can’t cut my hair if I, you know, don’t, if it doesn’t look like my headshot, that’s a terrible, you know, move. So it was interesting when it was like, taking that moment of going like, No, I’m, I think I’m just going to do the thing that I want to do for a few months. Yeah? How as, like, a 40 year old woman having this moment of, like, my god, like, Who have you been all this time, and, and, and, like, I’ll get real deep for you. Um, is it worth it? Like, you know what I mean, like, is it worth it to present the way you feel you have to present to be successful, right? And I mean, ultimately, I would say, probably yes, I think, especially as women and in this time in life, it’s like, so reflective, like, I can’t get over how reflective I’ve been in the past, like two years. It’s great, much more so than than ever before. But it’s moments like that, right where you go like, Oh, wow. Like, this is I feel like I’m seeing myself as I would have wanted to see myself for the first time, which is a wild experience.
Samantha Bee 49:34
It’s exciting. And I think that there is something that, because, you know, as we’ve said, like when you are a performer and you’d want to get work, like there’s a path to getting work, and that is kind of just like being a person who says yes, right, showing up with your makeup on, like showing up and looking like the part, so that nobody has to imagine anything for you, yes, and then you, you know, get it. Someone has to, you know, for a long time. In an actor’s career, someone has to choose you, right? You can choose the career that’s awesome, but someone, also a bunch of people, have to choose you. You have to make that happen. And then you get a little older, and you you can sit back a little bit and you can go, Okay, well, what do I choose right? What do I choose for myself exactly? And people really. And the funny thing is that people end up always really responding to that, yeah, because then you’re just like a more full version of yourself.
Lauren Ash 50:28
Right, and authenticity is like people can smell it right, like you can.
Samantha Bee 50:32
They can. Yeah, it’s so true they can. And I apologize for not knowing this. But have you direct? Did you direct any episodes of Superstore, or anything like that. Or would you do that? I did that an ambition.
Lauren Ash 50:43
I, you know, I didn’t direct any superstore. I did write an episode of Superstore, which was a real joy for me. That was so fun, great, but I didn’t direct. And, you know, it’s so interesting, because for a long time, I was like, I wouldn’t know what I’m doing. I’m nowhere near qualified to do that. And then I realized that I was like, that’s, I think, canadianism, or my own canadianism, that’s, you know, my own internalized misogyny. I think that that it’s like all of these things where I’m going, No, you, you literally have lived on a television set for the bulk of your adult life, you would know what you were doing, and you have other people that you would have on the team that would fill in the blanks for you, like so I did direct a short film once, which was a great learning experience. And I think, yeah, you know, I think moving forward, that’s definitely something that I think that I want to do, and I think that now is the time where I’m realizing that I am capable of that, which is so funny to say, because it’s like, of course, I’ve always been, I think I’ve been capable for a long time. But, you know, I think it’s all those things. I think it’s societal programming, all of those kinds of concepts that make us go like, and then I just think, I’m like, not to get, not to go there, but to go there, it’s like, I don’t know a lot of men that have those same thought processes, right, where it’s like, I think a lot of men would just go, yeah, and then I go, of course, I could do it. I’m not criticizing men for that. I’m saying, why am I not like that? Like, if they’re so bold, with less experience than me to say they could do it. Why wouldn’t I do it? You know?
Samantha Bee 52:21
Oh yeah, that the unearned confidence of a young man is something I wish I had had. Yes, 25 years ago, just even a fraction.
Lauren Ash 52:31
I talk about this a lot. There is a true crime case. I will I have a true crime podcast as well, because, again I with idle time, but there is a true crime case. I’ll just very quickly, I won’t belabor this, but there was a man who was accused of crimes, and he moves to England and just takes on a new identity and great an accent, and then is doing public interviews where he’s like, I am aghast that you would suggest that I am this other person. And I was like, and of course, he is the other person, which he’s finally now, years later, admitted. But for me, what I pulled from it was to have that level of just delusional confidence. I wish I had a fraction of being able to be that truly unhinged, in just being like of course, I could put on a pair of glasses and scream at people in a British accent that I’m someone else, and they’ll believe me.
Samantha Bee 53:22
That’s Moxie.
Lauren Ash 53:23
He literally was like, they were like, but you have the tattoos of this other man, and he goes, Well, I was in a coma. Somebody must have come in and tattooed me. And I was like to say that in earnest, in earnest to and that you.
Samantha Bee 53:34
Think you’ve been leave you.
Lauren Ash 53:36
Wow yeah, that’s something. Again I’d like a little of it, not all of it, but I’d love some, just a sprinkling, just a spritz.
Samantha Bee 53:44
We’re gonna get there, just a spritz. Oh my god. It has been such a damn pleasure talking to you. I’m so happy to hear like, just always happy for your success. I just think you’re like, just the funniest and that you’re doing something that you love so much. It’s just so like, it actually opens up my heart. It really is so meaningful, because I just aging is great. Getting a little older is awesome, actually, yeah, it’s actually an amazing experience.
Lauren Ash 54:15
I agree oh, thank you. Thank you for having me.
Samantha Bee 54:24
That was Lauren Ash, and I had no choice but to look up one thing she mentioned that she still lives in the US on a green card. I also came to this country with one over 20 years ago, and I had to check in this day and age. How many people are living here in states have them like Lauren? Over 12 million oh, boy. I really hope we continue to be a country that welcomes immigrants with open arms. Thanks for joining us. I’m Samantha Bee and see you next week for some more Choice Words.
CREDITS 55:04
Thank you for listening to Choice Words, which was created by and is hosted by me. The show is produced by […], with editing and additional producing by Josh Richmond. We are distributed by Lemonada Media, and you can find me @realsambee on X and Instagram, follow Choice Words wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.