Samantha Bee is The Resourceress
Subscribe to Lemonada Premium for Bonus Content
It’s a podcast family get-together this week, as the Aunties are joined by Samantha Bee, host of Choice Words on the Lemonada Media network. The comedic powerhouse tells Ku and Su about her bread-making era that wasn’t, swimsuits that are a community hazard, and eye health. She also talks about her The RealReal loves and losses, because nothing hits harder than a purchase that could’ve been. Plus, SuChin glanced at the eclipse and why you shouldn’t jump on a trampoline after birthing kids.
We want to hear from you! Drop us a message on Speakpipe.
Subscribe to the Add to Cart newsletter for juicy extras.
Please note, Add To Cart contains mature themes and may not be appropriate for all listeners.
To see all products mentioned in this episode, head to @addtocartpod on Instagram. To purchase any of the products, see below.
- Sam is eyeing this Il Bisonte Consuelo bag
- She keeps her eyes juicy with the iVIZIA eye drops
- Listen to Choice Words with Samantha Bee wherever you get your podcasts
Stay up to date with us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium.
Click this link for a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this show and all Lemonada shows: lemonadamedia.com/sponsors
Transcript
SPEAKERS
Kulap Vilaysack, Samantha Bee, SuChin Pak
Kulap Vilaysack 00:10
Welcome back to Add To Cart a show about the things we buy the things we buy into and what it says about who we are. I’m your auntie Kulap Vilaysack.
SuChin Pak 00:19
And I’m your other auntie SuChin Pak.
Kulap Vilaysack 00:22
Susu.
SuChin Pak 00:22
Yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 00:23
Our guests today, are there any words? She’s like honey in the lots of words. So yeah, that was one of them. He’s the woman of every hour. She was the hell out of a blazer.
SuChin Pak 00:36
That’s right Ku, and I’ve as I said, as we were setting up our audio that’s pod speak. I said behind the scenes, we’re family, right?
Kulap Vilaysack 00:45
Like all of garden.
SuChin Pak 00:46
My being two balls. Everyone is welcome. But not really because we’re actually family.
Kulap Vilaysack 00:52
Yes, we are, we’re Lemonada family and our guest today is a comedian, a host. She has been nominated for 18 Emmy Awards, winning for both writing and executive producing the longest running satirical, late night show hosted by a woman you’ve seen and loved her on her late night show Full Frontal with Samantha Bee. And she is the host of Choice Words here on the Lemonada Media Network, please add to cart, Samantha Bee.
Samantha Bee 01:19
My god, thank you so much for having me.
SuChin Pak 01:22
Family members.
Kulap Vilaysack 01:24
Family, let’s do it.
Samantha Bee 01:26
Do it.
Kulap Vilaysack 01:27
Let’s do this. Sam, what kind of shopper are you? How do you do it? What’s your style?
SuChin Pak 01:33
Into it?
Samantha Bee 01:34
There’s so much to talk about. Um, first of all, I’m an excellent shopper, I’m so oh so good at it. It’s like it’s my job. It should be my job. It’s I’d be better at it than any other job.
SuChin Pak 01:48
It you can make it your job. We’ve somehow turn that into our jobs, but yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 01:52
So is it like deals? It’s like what what do you mean?
SuChin Pak 01:55
Is it 24/7 is the dedication
Samantha Bee 01:58
More than I can it’s a dedication, it’s an ability to find anything, like I can if you need so I’m gonna find it. I will track it. I’ll hunt it down. I will go across the world and all the tools are at our fingertips to find whatever it is that we want. Do I, do I really want to have the skill? No, I want to be deep, I swear to God, I want people to be like what are you really really like actually good at and I wanted the answer to be like just reading and thinking.
Kulap Vilaysack 02:31
Dead languages.
Samantha Bee 02:33
Just like magical person.
Kulap Vilaysack 02:35
Or even like woodworking but, no, anything a craft.
SuChin Pak 02:39
Yeah, skill glass […]
Samantha Bee 02:41
But the answer actually is, can you find me like the most exotic okay, of the most exotic shark species in the world? Can you find someone who crafts figurines of those in Japan? And can you get them to my doorstep in America in like under seven days? And I’ll be like me up I can’t do that and I’ll do it right now. Let’s go away
Kulap Vilaysack 03:06
That I did you think this was kind of SuChin Pak?
SuChin Pak 03:08
No, and I really, you know, and I really feel like you undersold yourself right? …] I thought we were just reverse search imaging on Google.
Kulap Vilaysack 03:23
That’s what I thought too Su.
SuChin Pak 03:24
She said […] yeah, who hasn’t been fixer? Like you go. You’re there’s needs to be a yeah a TV show about this. So what? Paint the picture?
Samantha Bee 03:36
Yeah, I just think for contexts, like I grew up with, you know, like, with, like a child of a single mom, like, you know, just what, like not a lot of like, the world was not at my fingertips or my or my doorstep. And we weren’t you know, we were like the kind of we were like a bargain hunter family. We lived in Toronto, we would cross the border into Buffalo and get discount polo shirts with the tags wrapped so that we could seem like we, where people have means it just was like a value system and my family that shopping was just like kind of our leisure activity. It just was our hobby. Like it should have been sport.
Kulap Vilaysack 04:14
Sounds like sports, yeah.
Samantha Bee 04:16
Should have been sports. But that was the sport. It was like deal hunting. Like my mom is really into sourcing antiquing. Like it’s in my DNA, and I’m very uncoordinated. So it made sense as a sport. And particularly, I would say that when I had children, I tried to make so many of their magical wishes come true. And I think that that’s really where I honed my skills. I spent like, like my teenage years trying to like fit in to a school where I really didn’t fit in. So there was a lot of sourcing going on. Just to try to be sort of like socially acceptable.
SuChin Pak 04:57
Someone, someone encapsulating their high school experience as sourcing, sourcing, sourcing content.
Samantha Bee 05:06
Sourcing content like can I can how many of these like markers of social mobility can I acquire so that you’ll all think that I fit in here when I so don’t and I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I didn’t need to go home and look it all up.
SuChin Pak 05:21
But that’s where you that’s, that’s where their source or this was born.
Samantha Bee 05:28
The sorceress.
Kulap Vilaysack 05:31
Wow, HBO Max.
Samantha Bee 05:33
Oh, my God, three sorceress? Yes, 100%.
Kulap Vilaysack 05:40
Yeah, this is expert, three expert shoppers, coming to circle the wagon.
Samantha Bee 05:46
And I think that I spent a lot of time like when he had my own TV show you kind of it’s so stressful. It’s so stressful all the time. And I turned to shopping in a very on probably very unhealthy way.
SuChin Pak 06:01
No judgements here on that regard.
Samantha Bee 06:03
Just to smooth that out, smooth out the edges.
SuChin Pak 06:06
That she was a shopping podcast born during the pandemic and no, yeah, you’re smooth out the edge in our language.
Samantha Bee 06:15
I gotta tell you, it’s so funny. During the pandemic, I purchased every piece of equipment for the kitchen. There’s no piece of kitchen equipment, isn’t sitting in a closet right now. Told unwrapped.
Kulap Vilaysack 06:29
So so I’m gonna guess the instapot an airfryer of some sort.
Samantha Bee 06:33
Yeah, yes, of course. I have a bag, get a special specialty bag at maker.
Kulap Vilaysack 06:38
No.
Samantha Bee 06:39
Yeah, it’s like this iron is a steel.
Kulap Vilaysack 06:44
It’s it’s long, for sure.
Samantha Bee 06:47
It’s long, it probably weighs 60 pounds. I don’t know what explained to me. How does it I’ve never used it. I have no idea how what is
SuChin Pak 06:55
Like a steel, like what press.
Samantha Bee 06:58
It’s a long steel baking box with a very heavy lid and it has these two baguette shaped compartments in it with a center well, where you put water that steams because you need a little steam to make good crust. And so you put the baguette dough on either side in these kind of slots and then a little bit of water in the center and it steams in theory. Who would ever know.
Kulap Vilaysack 07:26
Where did you purchase?
Samantha Bee 07:27
I ordered, I oh, like from a man in Montana, honestly.
SuChin Pak 07:32
Exactly, I’m like this they don’t sell this. They don’t sell this.
Kulap Vilaysack 07:37
He forged this, blacksmith.
Samantha Bee 07:39
He forged it, and probably there was some little thing on his Etsy pay. I don’t even know where I don’t even know where the idea came from but whatever his page was, was probably like, I only have two of these left, like […] please expedite.
Kulap Vilaysack 07:57
You bought into some sort of fantasy. What did you oh did what did you matter? A French a French lady who?
Samantha Bee 08:05
Was more homesteader.
Kulap Vilaysack 08:06
I would say it was more that’s where the Montana okay.
Samantha Bee 08:09
We were I was like not milk I need not milk makers sis homesteader culture.
Kulap Vilaysack 08:16
You became you became a Trad wife a little bit just?
Samantha Bee 08:16
Little bit, yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 08:18
It’s like a it’s like a linen open shirt. And you’re tucking it in because you just got flower in your hair and you’ve got a wild herb garden that vibe. Sexy, it’s sexy.
Samantha Bee 08:34
I didn’t actually stop working. I just continued doing my work but I was like, while I’m doing this work I should be doing. I should be fermenting.
SuChin Pak 08:44
You should definitely be segmenting.
Samantha Bee 08:46
Just working in case I should be putting up like why are we growing these vegetables if I’m not putting them up and then putting them into the root cellar? So like I have a canning canning equipment. Canning a goal, yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 09:01
I do know that’s.
Samantha Bee 09:02
Yeah.
SuChin Pak 09:03
Wait now now, it’s dark.
Samantha Bee 09:07
It’s dark, just I’m just like ready for a lot of different stuff.
Kulap Vilaysack 09:15
She also bought a bomb shelter she do you live?
SuChin Pak 09:21
Do you live out in where? You know, human contact is far away?
Samantha Bee 09:26
Well, we mostly live on the Upper West Side. So no, but we do have a house. We have a house in the country too. So we’re like if we had to.
Kulap Vilaysack 09:35
Now I’m on board, got your go bag, where you’re at now. We’re heading up and things will be handled.
Samantha Bee 09:42
We’re going to definitely be dead within six weeks, but we’re going to try.
Kulap Vilaysack 09:48
Honestly.
Samantha Bee 09:49
It’s not gonna work.
Kulap Vilaysack 09:49
That’s me and then I lose one contact dead.
Samantha Bee 09:53
Oh, yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 09:53
Glasses get broken, oh.
Samantha Bee 09:55
Yeah, my more. My car got dinged yesterday and I was like, women undone and unraveled, it’s impossible I’m not. I’m not built for the prairie.
Kulap Vilaysack 10:11
Everything just to how you know just how’s the cars just would just one little blow.
Samantha Bee 10:16
One tiny one, I’m like Mercury’s in retrograde. I knew something was gonna happen […] Oh God, oh, I’ll just lose my readers or something. In some, you know, a full scale like solar blackout of the earth. My readers are gone, it’s over. I can’t read. I don’t know what the next steps are. I don’t know how to use my battery because I can’t read the instructions on it.
Kulap Vilaysack 10:47
There is something though, for those young nieces and nephews listening that haven’t reached this point. What’s the word I’m looking for? When you can’t read something and you really actually need to read it in that moment. It’s it’s a weird type of like primal panic. I get, just the other day my daughter was sick and we’re we you know, we got this like, alternative Tylenol. And so the dosing I just wanted, you know, because I know what regular […] and I’m reading it and she’s crying and it’s late at night. And do you know what I mean? And I, and I’m, it is a little bit like getting caught out in public without like, your pants on feeling. That’s just specifically how I feel like I just feels so panicked that you can’t read this.
Samantha Bee 11:38
Yes, and I feel it takes me back to all those times where I just was so disgusted by my family members who couldn’t read something so simple to my beautiful youthful like juicy, glossy eyeballs. I don’t, so full of life like I don’t have corrective eyewear except now I have to have readers in every nook and cranny, I have like 10 different pairs. And I just they just all move around because I could never, I never I lose them.
SuChin Pak 12:14
You have to have them at arm’s reach. My husband got readers before I did. I mean, it’s not a brag, but like he would perch them on his nose. And I would like have a gag gag vomit reflexes. I mean, it just like, I can’t believe he’s that person. But, I mean, we all become that person, and then we have to live with ourselves.
Samantha Bee 12:36
Yeah.
SuChin Pak 12:37
It was only last week where I was very cognitive that my eyesight has gotten worse. And I was driving during the day. And I was like, oh, no, oh, no wow, this is this is horrible. And then that was maybe a week two weeks before I thought have I put in putting the wrong contact and the wrong eyes? […]
Samantha Bee 12:59
And really have no idea.
SuChin Pak 13:00
They were to see again. She’s you see again.
Kulap Vilaysack 13:04
I did that.
Samantha Bee 13:05
I went to an I went to an eye doctor who was like, you know what? 50% of the world’s eyeball problems are caused by your eyeballs just drying out, he was like, if everyone just kept their eyes juicy and put drops in, you’d see a lot better. And I was like, I’ll do that doctor and have never done it.
SuChin Pak 13:24
Like, I don’t trust now. I know, that’s my sound. That’s my first instinct. Like is like, really? I gotta put drops in my eyes that I have to buy.
Kulap Vilaysack 13:38
But SuChin Pak, you are very cognizant about how dry your skin is, you have you understand the concept of how we’re all drying out?
SuChin Pak 13:47
Yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 13:47
Why would.
Samantha Bee 13:48
That’s so dry? Well, we can’t you don’t want because eyeballs are permanent, if you put something weird in your eyeballs that those the stakes are higher like you can have a little skin breakout and you’re fine. It’s like a little too much acid on your skin.
Kulap Vilaysack 14:06
That said real quick. Speaking of SuChin Pak’s husband Mike Bender, he slid into my DMs yesterday.
SuChin Pak 14:13
Oh, sorry about that.
Kulap Vilaysack 14:14
Well, I got some photos of you SuChin Pak, why did you look at the Eclipse?
SuChin Pak 14:19
Oh.
Kulap Vilaysack 14:21
Why did you look at it?
Samantha Bee 14:23
Without glasses?
SuChin Pak 14:25
What a fucking traitor. I am sleeping with the enemy.
Samantha Bee 14:31
Did you just take a quick glance you’re like, should I look at it with the glasses? Is it worth it?
SuChin Pak 14:35
That’s what I mean. Yeah, look as a strong word. I just said little glance, I glanced at it, I told you my daughter was sick. So she wanted to see the eclipse and so when we made the box, he made the box. I was looking through it. I was like this doesn’t look like you did this correctly. I’m not seeing anything. And so I just did a doot doot to see if the Eclipse was happening and the box was not working or that Eclipse was not working. It was like doot doot.
Samantha Bee 15:00
That’s fine, it’s acceptable. I get it, you can glance at the sun.
SuChin Pak 15:10
And let’s say my camera, their screen is still in black and white. Like, oh, no new eyes are really affected. I don’t know maybe it’s our age that the glands. I’m thinking guys, don’t panic. I’m thinking that this is it’s just like a little temporary thing like a little too much acid on your skin thing. Yes, it got it maybe something happened, it like jiggled it. And I am resting it. I’m icing my eyes. My computer screen isn’t black and white. I’m not going outside. I have sunglasses somewhere here that I’m reading with. And I and I already today I feel a little bit better than yesterday. And I really hate that I had to tell that to you and you and and I apologized for my husband.
Samantha Bee 16:07
I might create.
Kulap Vilaysack 16:08
Can we talk about just Sam, no let’s now I want to go back […]
SuChin Pak 16:11
What a traitor he is. What drops right? Okay, go ahead, you have drops that you’ve actually tried and opened or they’re unopened. And in theoretically.
Samantha Bee 16:21
No, I did get drops and they’re pretty good, and they keep the they keep the they’re pretty good. But you have to buy the very on environmentally friendly, do you see? I do not, but they do, they do juice it. So like okay, I don’t agree with the I don’t agree with the overall concept of having a big bottle of eye juice that’s just open that you use for a month. But these are like little individual pack, and you just like do it’s like a single glance drop because I just glanced at it. Just a glance. Um, but I do I might. I might go see someone first. Just to be honest […] sight balls.
SuChin Pak 17:04
It’s in a month, I’m still in black and white.
Kulap Vilaysack 17:08
Why are you, why would you ever wait a month? Oh my gosh, SuChin.
Samantha Bee 17:12
Your husband is a traitor though, he’s a traitor, I don’t trust him. Don’t reveal your true self to him ever again. It’s not safe.
SuChin Pak 17:22
I try not to and he follows me around just just hoping my true self pops out and I gotta step it back in the box but it takes 30 days to form a habit so I don’t know I’m applying that to retinal damage. So I’m gonna give myself 30 days rest and eyes I’ve for for about 16 days I’ve had this weird feeling in the heel of my foot that I think it may be an infection but again, I’m while I’m putting my […]
Samantha Bee 17:55
I’m an amateur doctor tell me everything.
Kulap Vilaysack 17:58
Which she might be able to source something that you do so.
Samantha Bee 18:03
I could, my husband has my husband has plantar fasciitis so I know everything about your heels right now I want to hear it all.
SuChin Pak 18:11
This isn’t that interesting, what I’m saying is is one day I woke up with a little a little sharp pain almost like almost like there was like a ball bearings stuck underneath like the the mites my skin. Do you know what I mean? Like it’s like that shape and that diameter and every time I step on it, a sharp pain goes shooting through and so you might feel and so then I looked the other day and I noticed that there there’s like a little black dot in the middle of the bump. So I’m like did I step on? B.
Samantha Bee 18:51
Will you go to the doctor this 16 this is this behavior is you know not healthy it no but she says no but.
SuChin Pak 18:59
No but at 30 days I will go see your doctor but I feel like my I shouldn’t be able to fight this off, right?
Samantha Bee 19:08
Like dot you could have I’m gonna say this you could have a planters wart.
SuChin Pak 19:21
What is that?
Samantha Bee 19:22
Sorry, kind of wart. It’s like as if black dot painful and gosh.
SuChin Pak 19:27
And what do they do for it?
Samantha Bee 19:29
Bottom of your foot, they can it’s you they can burn it out.
SuChin Pak 19:35
Yeah, see? That’s what’s not happening. What if I do nothing?
Samantha Bee 19:38
Yeah. Oh, it couldn’t get there, it’s just very painful.
SuChin Pak 19:42
It is very painful. Do I have to go to a foot doctor?
Samantha Bee 19:46
Yeah.
SuChin Pak 19:47
Oh, God see, I’m already tired, I have to find. Getting I don’t I want to be.
Samantha Bee 19:57
I want to have the wisdom that I have if before, and I would like to go back to my physical body. It doesn’t have to be my 20s I don’t care, that was fine, but like 30s, just take me back to the 30s.
SuChin Pak 20:13
I’m just going to soak it in this vinegar bath for a few more weeks and I’ll let you know how that’s going on, okay. I think we know or you know what, let’s, uh, let’s go. Let’s go into Sam’s cart. Let’s go okay.
Kulap Vilaysack 20:30
Footbath and go to Sam.
Samantha Bee 20:43
I love talking about other people. And they’re either alien like such a I’m such a nosy witch, I’m just like telling me everything about what’s going on her feet. I want to know?
Kulap Vilaysack 20:56
I mean, you it was it was really comfortable. You really very nice, all you it was so easy for you. And I 100% believe that you did the correct diagnosis.
Samantha Bee 21:10
Yeah, I think I might have.
Kulap Vilaysack 21:12
I think you might have too. Let’s talk about this gorgeous bag in natural. I don’t even want to butcher the Italian.
Samantha Bee 21:21
This is a little handbag. It’s in my cart. I’m probably not gonna buy it. I just really like it. It’s a little bag by Italian company. They have a store in New York, il Ristorante. And it is like a little, just a little crossbody bag and a natural leather like a kind of a nice creamy looking leather with some really pretty hardware.
SuChin Pak 21:49
That’s where I’m tired.
Samantha Bee 21:50
At like a nice, big, these big kind of brass loop.
SuChin Pak 21:56
These are handmade in Tuscany, this company, I feel like has been around since probably 1420.
Samantha Bee 22:06
Forever.
SuChin Pak 22:06
Yeah, and so not to encourage, you know, but this is one that you’ll have forever and ever and ever.
Samantha Bee 22:18
But I still not gonna buy it. But I like it and I entertained the concept because I was like, Oh, it feels like it’s gonna get a spring refresh. But I don’t have a job. And so I am not going to. But I do like to put things in my cart. Keep my carts on my laptop and then I love and I kind of weigh it and I go I just absolutely don’t need it. Should I do want it’s just him. So class.
Kulap Vilaysack 22:48
It’s never need, but not. I gotta say.
Samantha Bee 22:53
It’s pretty, it’s so gorgeous.
SuChin Pak 22:56
And how did you settle on on this bag of all the bag fantasies that one could have. I know that you landed on this for a particular reason, knowing how meticulous you are?
Samantha Bee 23:06
I am okay. Well, I’ll tell you how I got here. It’s such a are people gonna?
Kulap Vilaysack 23:12
I don’t even I just told you about my foot.
Samantha Bee 23:15
Okay, you’re right. You’re right. I’m obsessed with the real real, I love ya. I love a real real. It’s just the best, it’s just like if apparel is an interesting hobby for you. It is just like it is my jam. And I do trade z’s. And like, I sell stuff on it, I buy stuff. It’s great, if you have a credit there, like if you’ve sold enough stuff, it’s just a fun thing to do. And it’s probably the first thing I like to say I’m on it every day should be I should be looking at the news. Okay, so there was a little bag. I’m not into like, I’m not a handbag person writ large, that’s not my life. I’m not like a little selection of handbags. Like I know a lot of people who are that and I just see them and they’re just like a part of the culture here but I can’t as a Canadian.
Kulap Vilaysack 24:12
You’re not gonna get a burka […]
Samantha Bee 24:14
It hurts me, I can’t I kind of look at it and I go is that could I am I that and I’m just too pragmatic. So I was like, what I should think I should do is just be like an interesting bag person. Rather than I like, you know, because I like to kind of have a bag in my bag. You want to be taken seriously when you go into a shopping store.
Kulap Vilaysack 24:40
He or she is sourcing again.
Samantha Bee 24:44
You don’t want to be like, dismissed as you’re like.
Kulap Vilaysack 24:48
Excuse me, you want to be a bag lady coming in. It could be potential.
Samantha Bee 24:53
You want to be like a credible person. You don’t want to be like invisible when you go into this place. Says you got to have a present.
SuChin Pak 25:02
Nothing worse, nothing cuts deeper than the disdain of a salesperson. You know, when you walk into a store, you’ve learned that lesson.
Samantha Bee 25:10
So I’ve learned it, it’s a hard lesson, it often happens. So I keep relearning that lesson. So it’s fine, because usually I just have like spending my big utility like my big like, toe, or something like bag that just says, like socks, and every piece of garbage is in my heavy tote bag. But if I go out, I like to have some little interesting feature. And I found this little vintage bag on the Real real and I was like, take a took too long, I took too long. I took too long, I was like, nobody’s gonna want this because everybody’s here for status bags. And this is not that, but it’s just like a vintage old, like kind of low of a pretty nice brass hardware, very, like old like, probably from 25 years ago, 20 years ago, something like that. And I was like, I’m gonna get it.
SuChin Pak 26:01
I would have stolen that bag right out of your cart so fast, Sam.
Samantha Bee 26:05
So pretty. And I even I consulted with my children, because they’re very judgmental. And they were like, that’s cool and I was like, okay, here we go. Add to Cart, and it was gone. Because they waited 24 hours. And I was silly. And I’m trying to recreate that.
SuChin Pak 26:26
There we go chasing it. That’s how chasing it.
Samantha Bee 26:30
I’m chasing it and it’s like that, that nice. That hardware that thick brass like, yeah, you know, like, just like horse bits. You know, just like want that feeling of like weight. And so what I’m actually waiting for is for the person to receive their package, the real real package, not like it and be like, this is shitty, and send it back, and then I’ll just, then I’ll get it
SuChin Pak 26:54
And then you’d buy it right away. You’re not going to wait if you see it again on your feed.
Samantha Bee 26:59
Truly not. Yeah, really going for it processing payment going for it because because I would like to have a nice little vintage something, but I want to pay zero for it, so in a way in credit. Credit is kind of like credit. I’m holding this. I’m holding this like bag that’s like you have to buy as a reminder to wait for the bag. I could just spend credit.
SuChin Pak 27:27
Whoa, okay.
Samantha Bee 27:29
Heavy duty, hardcore. I am serious.
Kulap Vilaysack 27:33
Well, you mentioned like, horse back riding metals and stuff. You are also adding horseback riding?
Samantha Bee 27:43
Oh, yeah.
Kulap Vilaysack 27:44
To Cart.
Samantha Bee 27:45
Well, if we’re adding to the cart of our light, we really just need to get back. I gotta get back on the horse. It’s been a really long time. And I love it. And Haley like, horses. Gorgeous, like not a horse girl yet, but I think it’s yet, but I’ve been on lots of them. And my mom used to have them and I missed that. I missed that experience. I haven’t done it in soul long. And I’m a little afraid now that I’m 54, it’s my body’s jangled. And it’s just like built difference.
Kulap Vilaysack 28:20
But some eye drops in before you ride the horse. So juicy and get right on there.
Samantha Bee 28:25
And in the horse’s eyes, not mine. Stay focused, Nellie. I had this experience where I like went on a trampoline maybe 10 years ago, and I totally damaged my floor. And then I went to my gynecologist. I was like what is going on? And she was like, what did you do? And I was like, I went on? I don’t know, I just was like on a trampoline for a bit. And she was like, are you joking? She was like you’ve had three children. You don’t get to go on a trampoline again in your life. Do you don’t go on trampoline you have three children. Don’t you dare and I was like, oh my God. No one told me wait. She was like never do that again.
SuChin Pak 29:09
What, what can you share that please?
Kulap Vilaysack 29:12
Because yeah, that needs to be out, how were you? Well, I didn’t know that.
SuChin Pak 29:15
Share this.
Samantha Bee 29:16
I’m putting it out there. I’m saying I gently went on a tramp like, I mean, it was not an intense I was like, I could exercise on this. And I don’t know within three minutes. I was like that feels I feel weird. In my insides and I had pain like pelvic floor pain. And I went to the my gynecologist and she was like, are you she was like how could no one have ever told you? You didn’t give me the pamphlet about never bounce. And so I’m a little afraid to get on a horse and that is why I feel that I should do it. They should put me on an old mare, but there’s always bounce or use. You gotta bounce.
Kulap Vilaysack 30:00
Can you consult I think you should consult and then that same doctor who is familiar with your injury and say is this okay?
Samantha Bee 30:09
So I’m not talking about like, riding bareback on a stallion. I mean, like, let’s take it easy, folks.
Kulap Vilaysack 30:15
For those of us who’ve never been on a horse like what is that feeling that you miss?
Samantha Bee 30:21
I think it’s more about being in nature in that way in my son’s memory. It’s just like a hot, dry summer day. You can hear the grasshoppers it’s just a really natural it’s it’s a very organic experience of like, trusting this big animal. They’re incredibly beautiful.
SuChin Pak 30:45
There’s and.
Samantha Bee 30:47
They’re strong the sun is shining. I don’t know there’s something sort of magical about it for me. I like it. I like it a lot.
Kulap Vilaysack 30:55
And I’ve only done it like on vacations and frankly, I’ve been in in a couple of kind of hairy positions one where the first time I was on a horse in Ojai we were going up a hill and I did the wrong thing. I got scared. So I grasped her grasp the horse tango. She bucked up, I felt myself lifting off of the horse as she kind of bucked up while we’re going up hill. And then I like a crab sort of hung on to her. Great and when that happened the saddle got caught between my bra. […] June, what June was behind me and my friend June Diane Raphael and she saw like I was off the horse up like I was.
Samantha Bee 31:49
Was your bra flying like a flag?
Kulap Vilaysack 31:55
Like an unfurling of a seagulls. Wingspan and after I was coming my entire chest was like black and blue bruised, but it wasn’t tangles fault that was on me. And you know, like the saying goes like next time I could I got back on that horse. It’s just so it’s scary but it’s also like there’s something about what Sam you said of just like facing your fear. And there’s something about an internal struggle that kind of is exalted when you’re on top of a horse.
Samantha Bee 32:29
I don’t know. I also have a fear of my bra being flung from my body. So I don’t know. I didn’t even know that can happen.
SuChin Pak 32:49
We’re keeping track of is trampolines. Bras flung. I mean these are major things that we need to keep track. I’m okay. I’d get out there. The pamphlet is being written as we are speaking. I will never get on a horse have not been on a horse now. We’ll never get on a horse. I have a trampoline will not be jumping on that thing.
Samantha Bee 33:14
Wow, I saw a woman’s the whole swimsuit come off on waters. And I have never been on a waterslide since I gotta tell you two piece one. Yeah, wasn’t it just no came it came down on the hallway. And she it was an astonishing waterslide like I was like who would go on that anyway, but like the whole thing rubs off. And she didn’t know because she just was like, I survived and we were like we were like death would be better, death is preferable.
Kulap Vilaysack 33:51
That was a one piece is that what you witnessed the reason why you were adding to cart a two piece bathing suit?
Samantha Bee 33:58
You know what? I after much thought because I considered my Add to Cart list for a long time. I do want to add to cart I’ve never worn a two piece swimsuit in my life.
SuChin Pak 34:11
Not even when you were juicy?
Samantha Bee 34:12
No. I never have done that.
SuChin Pak 34:14
I’m sorry.
Samantha Bee 34:15
I did once on a boat and I have a picture of it and it’s fine. It’s like I look like a normal person. Like a normal person in a bathing suit. It’s like no big deal.
Kulap Vilaysack 34:24
But you didn’t like it for some reason. It’s not something you went back to.
Samantha Bee 34:27
I spent the entire day just being like what’s going on? I was so I was like, where are my boobs? What’s happening? Why am I like just like pulling up pulling down like I just spent the whole day adjusting thing okay, my dad is and just being like so weirded out. It’s so close to underwear for me and I’m it is just like, yeah, like we wear clothes on top of our underwear and then all of a sudden we’re just wearing our underwear. like, what, why do we bother wearing anything? What is what are the rules? Which is okay, and I gotta say, I just took my family to Miami and it was spring break. And I didn’t really know that and I don’t think about it. I just didn’t think through I just didn’t think through. And I was like, spent a lot of time picking a hotel. We’re very chill people were very like, we are quiet. We just want to swim in the ocean. And somehow God only knows how unwittingly I picked the most active Spring Break hotel in all of mid Beach Miami with like, literal DJs competing on, all day and all night. And I prepaid so I couldn’t get out of it. And people were just wearing bikinis and thongs to the breakfast buffet. And like, I just looked like a nun. Like I just was seeing people in bathing suits for the first time in my life. Like, I might as well have worn knit separately to the beach. I just dress I wear clothes. I just wear them. I wear a one piece. I looked like an idiot. And I don’t really care, it’s fine. I had a great time on the beach. Not at the buffet breakfast buffet. I had a great time out there and I went in the water with no fear. I don’t care. It’s not like I’m like so self conscious. But I am kind of like a conservative dresser. Like I don’t I don’t know how to dress anymore. Because they don’t really know how to wear like crop top like I just can’t do it, I can’t do it.
SuChin Pak 36:55
Yeah, you’re you’re getting handmade bags from 14 to 24.
Samantha Bee 37:01
I’m not built for it.
Kulap Vilaysack 37:02
SuChin entered into what she’s calling her clown era of dressing. So it might be.
Samantha Bee 37:09
Tell me more.
Kulap Vilaysack 37:10
She’s playing with proportions. And it is the opposite of what was happening in Miami. I mean, it’s just not enough fabric. You know, I just got to a point where I was like, why am I not putting more fabric like who am I? Who am I trying to impress you who’s out there? Like, I want a lot of fabric. I want the weight of a Down Comforter somewhere on my body at all times. And that’s what makes me feel safe. It keeps me warm. I function better that way. I have a question. Like, I’ve been to the beach with my kids, my kids are younger, I think right? Well, how old are your kids?
Samantha Bee 37:50
18, 16and 13.
SuChin Pak 37:52
So you’ve got the routine. Okay, this is perfect, you’re, you’re in the target of kids that I want to ask in terms of age. Like when we go to the beach here. We live in Santa Barbara and this thong bathing suit situation. You know, I don’t know when it became that’s how they make them now, where you’re seeing like the outer ridges, oh, labia no holes.
Samantha Bee 38:18
We saw full labia. Like, my daughter was like, is she wearing a thong backwards? And I’m like, maybe she might be. And I guess we’re all body. We’re so positive now. And I’m like, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m not, I love breakfast. I don’t like it. Remember when like Hooters was like a big scandal and everyone was like, Is it even hygienic to wear those short shorts with your pantyhose next to food when you’re dropping off a basket of tater tots? Like kid your vagina go on to the tots. So close. And now we’re just fully like brushing pubes up against the toast like, stop please fucking put on some jean shorts. It’s 8am please.
Kulap Vilaysack 39:17
We live in a community you know and in when we’re together in a hotel it becomes this sort of temporary community and I think just be a little you know.
Samantha Bee 39:26
We sound like nuns.
SuChin Pak 39:27
We do we sound like our because I’m thinking about my 18 year old niece and she be like you guys are fucking yours. So my question to you is is like okay, so it sounds like my fear is the one day when we all go to the beach and my kids are you know, teenagers and they take off their you know, shorts and you know, my daughter is wearing a backward thong and I have to do what I have to like not, I don’t do you know what I mean? Like, am I gonna? How do you How are you or your your kids aren’t dressing that way it sounds like but it’s like everyone around me all of the young folks are. It’s shocking.
Samantha Bee 40:14
Yeah, we looked like this was Family Robinson. We just looked like, the New York’s of the beach like I can’t. I don’t know. I’m like, I guess when you’re an adult, you can go get whatever swimsuit you want. And that’s awesome for you. I don’t think you can say anything. And I think it is just fashion like, I think it’s just fashion and it just is what it is. And I’m very happy for everybody to have wonderful body positivity. I have my own hang ups. I think that if I ventured into two piece territory as an adult, there’s a respectful version of a two piece maybe I should just like try to loosen my brain a little bit to just accept a tiny sliver of metruff on myself. And maybe that will help.
Kulap Vilaysack 41:09
Oh, wow, this is the key. What I got just a little bit with like, a high waisted number a nice sort of like, a retro horse. It’s gonna be high waist.
SuChin Pak 41:20
Oh, what were we wearing? Low pupi bottoms.
Kulap Vilaysack 41:25
No, it’s ribcage.
Samantha Bee 41:28
We’re talking sliver a sliver of
SuChin Pak 41:33
A sliver of skin that that if you look like a like an eclipse plants you wouldn’t even know it was a two piece.
Samantha Bee 41:40
You wouldn’t burn, you’re not gonna burn your eyes looking at my white skin. In that like just little crescent. You just like a little peekaboo. This skin has never been kissed by the sun. What do you think skin it’ll burn in 1.6 seconds. It’ll be burned to a crisp. It’s never touch. It’s never been kissed, by the 54 full years. What is gonna oh.
Kulap Vilaysack 42:10
When I’m like naked it’s like I’ve many races on my body. My stomach is a is from Ireland. Okay, like my there’s just there’s so I’m, it’s wild. There’s no evenness at all.
Samantha Bee 42:25
It is incredible. The different like when I held my old arms up to my at my 18 year old her she has like that Irish. She’s just like a little porcelain doll who we’ve just slathered with sunscreen her whole life and it’s just like this creamy. And mine is just like one big freckle, like a liver spot. It’s all different colors with scars and like hairs. She’s like an old witch. And she’s like, Ill I mean, literally, like, I always get up to my kids and they’re like, Ill what’s wrong with it? I’m like, It’s we used to town, okay. We used to town we used to burn on purpose. What do you want me to say? Ew, llike they’ll also look at my white stomach and be like, oh, like just anything? Okay, that I do. Am I ever pleasing to you?
Kulap Vilaysack 43:34
See, this is also why it was such a tough loss to lose that real real bag. Because they had fully approved it. They approved the kids loved it.
Samantha Bee 43:43
It was cool. They were like good, that’s cool. Like, you lost it.
SuChin Pak 43:48
I get those reactions though, mostly from my husband. Which which tickles me.
Samantha Bee 43:55
Yeah, why are you doing oh, is that a skin tag? Another one.
SuChin Pak 44:03
Wait till I tell him I’ve got a wart on my foot.
Samantha Bee 44:06
Yeah, you don’t need to that could be your own. That can be just for you.
SuChin Pak 44:12
Just for me, you know 1000s of people tuning in you are [..]
Kulap Vilaysack 44:20
Yeah, oh, Sam that’s all for today’s show. Thank you so much for joining us you’re such a dream guest I hate to let you go you can find her on Instagram @realsamb, listento her podcast Choice Words. And what else can we promote? What else are you up to?
Samantha Bee 44:36
That’s the one that’s it Choice Words, let’s do it.
SuChin Pak 44:39
Good, we’re also promoting that whoever bought that bag give it back you don’t really love it like it’s not looking that great?
Samantha Bee 44:48
It’s got a weird like the strap is weird. I think you can do better yeah should return.
Kulap Vilaysack 44:52
I hear the DVLA what the story Sam story and I’m sure you kind of like oh, I just thought it was alright, you know, give it to someone more deserving.
CREDITS 45:01
There’s more Add To Cart with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content like where we tell you about the last item we bought or returned and why subscribe now and Apple podcasts. Add To Cart is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producers are Kegan Zema and Tiffany Bouy. Brian Castillo is our engineer. Theme music is by Wasahhbii and produced by La Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers or Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer, and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @AddToCartPod. Follow Add to Cart wherever you get your podcasts or listen at free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.
