Lemonada Media

Talking On the Phone with Jo Firestone

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Scheduled hang outs? Impossible. FaceTime? Too much chin. In the eyes of comedian and writer Jo Firestone, the spontaneous phone call is where it’s at. Ellie and Scott may be skeptical of this particular form of communication, but after laying out all the positives, Jo might now have two new people she can catch up with while driving home from Burger King.

Please note: Ellie, Scott, and Jo recorded this episode before the Los Angeles wildfires began. Their hearts are with the rest of their LA community.

Follow Ellie @elliekemper on Instagram and Scott @mescotteckert on Twitter, and get in touch at borntolovefeedback@gmail.com. Stay up to date with Lemonada on TwitterFacebook, and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Ellie Kemper, Jo Firestone, Scott Eckert

Ellie Kemper  00:09

Welcome to Born To Love the show where we talk to the people we love about the things they love. I’m Ellie Kemper.

 

Scott Eckert  00:17

And I’m Scott Eckert, and today we are talking to the hilarious actor, writer, comedian Joe Firestone, it’s an excellent conversation we recorded a little earlier. One of our most interesting, I would say, Ellie. Would you agree with that?

 

Ellie Kemper  00:31

100% Scott.

 

Scott Eckert  00:33

So stick around for that. But before we get to Joe, Ellie, is there anything this week that you loved?

 

Ellie Kemper  00:41

Oh my gosh. Let me count the ways I’ve loved this week and Scott, here we are. It’s post holidays. It’s New Year. I’m, first of all, I could spend an hour talking about how much I love the number 2025 it is so it’s not even it’s odd, but it’s so even in its stability. It’s just 2025 I love this year already.

 

Scott Eckert  01:05

Ellie, you’re speaking my language. I couldn’t agree with you more, although I will say that this is the first year, maybe since the year 2000 which is forever ago. Now that I feel weird about makes me feel weird. It’s like, well, it’s 2025 I feel like we’re in the future.

 

Ellie Kemper  01:20

We’re in Justin’s territory, but I’m not looking back. I’m looking forward all the way speaking, this actually sort of is a nice segue into what I’ve been loving. This week we had a lot of gift exchanging in December. I’m not just us, I’m saying all over the country, all over the world, exchanging gifts in honor of the holidays. I I knew I always liked these, but there I received, or in my household, there appeared such a fresh influx of these items that my love for am I? Am I drawing it out? Am I making you wonder what it is.

 

Scott Eckert  01:54

I can’t I’m on the edge of my seat. Ellie, What gift did you get? What are these things that you’ve gotten, that that you’ve rediscovered a love for. What are they?

 

Ellie Kemper  02:05

L, E, G, O, Lego. God, they are so great in every and by the way, I think it’s Lego not Legos.

 

Scott Eckert  02:16

I was gonna call you on that. I think you’re right, but insisting that it’s Lego is the plural makes you a jerk.

 

Ellie Kemper  02:26

But what should we call it? Just for the sake of like, peace, should we just say.

 

Scott Eckert  02:30

You should say Lego and I’ll say Legos. Like, if you step there’s like, what? What’s, what’s scattered across the floor of your child’s bedroom? Are they a bunch of Lego? No, they’re not. They’re Legos. But if you you want to be, you want to be all European, you can, you could get the plural is Lego. That’s fine. I don’t want to start from a negative place, because I love Legos too. Ellie, tell me, why have you rediscovered a love for Legos?

 

Ellie Kemper  02:55

Well, I’ll just answer your question. If I did see a bunch of those items scattered over the floor, I would call them Lego bricks, and that’s how I would get around that, Scott.

 

Scott Eckert  03:05

I think that might be the worst.

 

Ellie Kemper  03:09

Oh, look at these Lego bricks, children. Oh, I stepped on a Lego brick. Please pick it up. No. Scott, to get to the heart of the matter, I have I everybody, I mean Legos. I don’t even know how long I’m gonna I have to revert to Legos. I don’t know how long they’ve been around. I’m not gonna find this isn’t a history presentation on Legos. I played them, built them throughout my life. I forgot how much fun it is, how very satisfying it is to build something step by step and look at the product you’ve made. It’s just so satisfying. You’re not on a screen. I don’t have any of those high tech Legos that you hook up to a to a desktop computer.

 

Scott Eckert  03:50

I don’t know stuff. Yeah, I understand. I’m not doing this. No, you understand that? What have you been building?

 

Ellie Kemper  03:57

A chess set out of Legos I don’t have. Oh, by the way, I won’t be able to show you any, which is good, because this is primarily an audio medium, so that is probably for the best. But there’s also something that is, it’s nice, because what was happening with me, and, you know, my nieces and nephews, and my my own children, and you know, even my brothers and sisters. I don’t want to give a like, false presentation. It’s not. We weren’t, like, gathered around a fire building Legos, but every now and then, I would find myself putting some Legos together and following a manual. And we were doing something without a screen. We were doing something without a tablet. We were just building things with our hands, Lego bricks with our hands, and it’s just so fun. And like people, I’ve sort of buried the lead here, Scott.

 

Scott Eckert  04:46

Tell it. Tell us what is the lead Ellie?

 

Ellie Kemper  04:49

Lego Land.

 

Scott Eckert  04:51

Lego, did you also visit Lego Land?

 

Ellie Kemper  04:54

We made a pilgrimage to Lego Land, and it was not. It had nothing to do with this onslaught of. Legos. It was something we had been planning for a while. We just happened to have Legos also over the holidays, but we went to Lego Land. And what I want to have you been has any.

 

Scott Eckert  05:10

Right? So they’re, of course, the Lego store that are, that are amazing and overwhelming. I assume you’re talking the amusement park Lego.

 

Ellie Kemper  05:17

Land, am talking about the amusement park, I believe there’s one in California, one in New York, I think. And I, Scott, haven’t been to a Lego Store, but my favorite part of the amusement park was not the rides. It wasn’t the merry go rounds or the roller coasters or the little water float boat tours. It was what I imagine the store is like, it was a Ferrari build and race. And you just build Legos and race them, and that place was filled to the gills. Is that the right expressionScott?

 

Scott Eckert  05:48

I don’t think so, but I don’t know what the right one is, filled to the gills.

 

Ellie Kemper  05:56

It was filled to the gills with Lego builders ranging from ranging from age four to 94 everyone was just filled to the gills building their Legos in there, and it was so joyful and fun. What is it, Scott?

 

Scott Eckert  06:09

It is, I looked it up. It is filled to the gills. I know it’s stuffed. I think stuffed to the gills is more common, but it seems like filled to the gills is also acceptable. I’m sorry. I was distracted by the internet, you were telling the Ferrari race story at Legoland, so everyone was building cars and racing. Did your family build cars?

 

Ellie Kemper  06:29

Of course we did. We’re if we’re if a place is filled to the gills, we’re not gonna stand on the sidelines and cheer we’re getting into the gills.

 

Scott Eckert  06:37

Well, if it’s so filled to the gills, I could imagine you wouldn’t want to wait in line, potentially.

 

Ellie Kemper  06:42

Oh, there’s no line. It’s just, like, a big it’s, it’s above the ground, but it’s as though you’re at your friend’s basement and you’re just, like, built. It’s a free for all. There’s literally millions of Legos, and you’re just building Legos. And then what you do is you scan the Lego car, and then it turns into a digital car, and you race it on a racetrack. It’s just […]

 

Scott Eckert  07:02

I mean, there you go. And who needs the desktop compatibility when you’ve got scanners?

 

Ellie Kemper  07:08

Now, you’re finally understanding.

 

Scott Eckert  07:10

So I’m like a caveman thinking that you might actually race the cars in real life, since you built them in real life. But no, they’re scanned and then virtually raced?

 

Ellie Kemper  07:19

Yeah, but honestly, I think that it’s a, it’s a, you know, a nod to where we are tech wise, but it’s also just cuts down on all the noise and broken Legos. I think it’s easier once it’s like, digitized, right?

 

Scott Eckert  07:31

It’s super cool. I mean, building something out of Lego and then seeing it imagined on a screen in a video game. I mean, pretty much everything you’re saying is resonating with me. I now want to take my children to Legoland. They’re a little older than yours. They I don’t know if they would enjoy it quite as much, but I know that I would enjoy it, and.

 

Ellie Kemper  07:50

That’s what I’m saying. I think they would. I’m saying anyone, maybe you heard me earlier, age four to 94 those are ages I came up with in my head. But I think that it appeals to that broad, broad broad range of ages. Scott, it was a Lego week. I loved it, and now I want to turn to something else I love. And she’s a woman. It’s not a something, it’s a someone. Jo Firestone is an actress, comedian and writer for the late night show after midnight. She grew up in my same hometown of St Louis, MO as she’s been behind the scenes of several other beloved TV shows, like the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and Z way. And that is in addition to all the hilarious performances that she’s given, both on TV and in her stand up. Between all that, she’s also found time to co create two card games. Co host the podcast Doctor Game Show and write a mystery murder on sex Island. And now we are so happy to bring you. Jo Firestone, right after the break.

 

Ellie Kemper  09:10

Okay, you guys, we are back. We are here with the lovely Jo Firestone, Hi, Joe.

 

Jo Firestone  09:16

Hi.

 

Ellie Kemper  09:17

Thank you for joining us today. We’re very excited, thrilled to be here.

 

Scott Eckert  09:22

Jo, you are obviously, you are a comedian, you’re a writer, you’re an actress. I think you have a new book coming out this year, but we are not here to talk about any of that. No, maybe that will come up, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about. You’re here to talk about what you were born to love, Jo, what were you born to love.

 

Jo Firestone  09:41

Talking on the phone. I love talking on the phone.

 

Ellie Kemper  09:47

Jo, tell okay, this is gonna come out sooner or later. I at the beginning of this conversation, don’t always love talking on the phone. What is it that you love about it? Have you tried speakerphone?

 

Jo Firestone  10:01

Oh, because I think a lot, I think a lot, you know, a lot. Big drawback holding it, yeah. And so if you put it on listen this, what’s so great is, if you put it on speaker phone, and then you’re just going about your business, it’s incredible. A lot of people are like FaceTime, FaceTime. I don’t like FaceTime, uh huh, I like talking on the phone, right? Because you actually, you know, if you go to a restaurant with someone, you’re like, where’s the bread? When we ordering? When? How do I should I get a lemonade, you know? And it’s too many distractions. There’s just, if you just put it on speaker phone, and you’re like, going about your business, cleaning your tub, you could have the best conversation in your life.

 

Ellie Kemper  10:44

Yep, FaceTime makes no sense to me, and especially when I see people on FaceTime as they’re like, looking up at something else, and I’m thinking, why are you making that person look at the bottom of your face? And it doesn’t make sense. The speakerphone option is not something I do often, because I’m so self conscious of like someone else I don’t even know. Even if I’m in an empty room, I feel like, What if someone hears but you’re you’re right. What’s the difference between that and having someone just in the room with you? Like, there’s no difference.

 

Jo Firestone  11:15

Yeah, I mean, this is to be fair. Okay, here’s the thing is, I I’m aware some people have families. That is something I live by myself. So that’s, that’s something else. So I think speakerphone is an alternative for those without families, who live by themselves, for sure, and I’m not, I’m not trying to, you know, blur past that, but, yep, um, I do think that it’s really like, okay, okay. I So, you know I’m okay, you know I’m living in LA and I’m driving around. And I went to I left a party at 6:30pm, which was amazing. I went to Burger King. Okay, wow. I got a value meal. I called my friend on the phone, and I as I ate the meal in the car, I talked her on the phone, and I was like, that’s better than the party times 20.

 

Ellie Kemper  12:12

I you have just painted a portrait of heaven. That is, you’re exactly right.

 

Jo Firestone  12:19

It was great. It’s great.

 

Ellie Kemper  12:21

Jo, that is exquisite.

 

Scott Eckert  12:23

There’s not a single there’s not a single choice in that entire narrative that didn’t fill me with just immense joy. Leaving the party so early, going to Burger King, specifically, getting a value meal, which is what I get at Burger King, and then calling your friend Absolutely. I mean, that’s a car driving. I mean, that’s that sort of speaker phone, I guess, yeah, the Bluetooth, the Bluetooth, whatever that’s called, when you can talk in your car, that I remember, I have a vivid memory of the first time that I experienced that in someone else’s car. And it was, it was like, I don’t know, one of the most astounding technologies that I had ever encountered, because it really such a game changer. The voice is playing over your car speakers, and whatever microphone technology they have perfectly picks up your own voice. It’s like speaker phone, but leveled up, I mean, to your.

 

Ellie Kemper  13:20

Surround sound, yeah.

 

Scott Eckert  13:22

Surround sound, speaker phone, yes.

 

Ellie Kemper  13:24

amazing. Wait, yo, were you driving while eating and talking? I imagined you parked for some reason, but maybe I’m projecting.

 

Jo Firestone  13:33

No, I was that would have been safe, but I know I was driving home. I mean, I didn’t eat the sandwich, I just had the fries, but it was fantastic. But here’s Okay, here’s the thing is that what I really want, you know, I don’t, um, I grew up at a time, you know, where you had a house phone, and the phone had a curly, the curly, and I have, I just, oh, I just love curling it around, curling uncurling it, uh, doing, undoing the knots.

 

Ellie Kemper  14:02

Yep, of the chord. Listeners, if that’s she’s talking about the chord.

 

Jo Firestone  14:07

Of talking about the chord. I mean you, yeah. I mean you probably have, I mean, knowing you two, you probably have all Gen Z. Listeners, okay, you’re young fan base. I know you. I know you, but it’s like, I know this is an incredible experience it. I think that. I think young people are way better than all other people. Yes, however, I don’t think they got to experience putting your finger in the phone cord.

 

Ellie Kemper  14:30

There’s and then wrapping it around your finger, and then moving your finger like, it’s like, get to love, right? Great. It’s so great. It’s like, I it like, straightens out your finger, and then you break through it to, like, bend your finger, and the cord moves with you. I love it. I just love incredible.

 

Scott Eckert  14:46

Jo, I have a I want to, I want to sort of draw a distinction, because I am in I think Ellie’s a little phone skeptical, as she said, I’m 100% on board.

 

Jo Firestone  14:56

Skeptical? ,incredible. I’m Incredible.

 

Ellie Kemper  15:02

Well, get into it.

 

Scott Eckert  15:03

I’m just, I’m just saying I love like, like the scenario you painted, talking to a friend, maybe an extended conversation, especially on speakerphone, catching up without the stress of being in person or at a restaurant or whatever. I’m 100% on board with that. On the other hand, I do appreciate the text has eliminated the need for many sort of routine phone calls. I’m down for a catch up on the phone, but like almost any other thing, I would prefer to handle over text and email, like eta, if we’re meeting someone or something, or what’s up with this, or I don’t much appreciate getting random phone calls, especially if it’s not for like, the kind of catch up that I enjoy. Do you prefer the phone in all cases, or are you also sort of a business texture the way I am.

 

Jo Firestone  16:01

I’ll say this, something happened to me, and I don’t get emails anymore. Okay? Nobody, nobody emails me anymore. Joe, okay, what I got? I said I did something. I sent a message out to the unit. I’m bad at replying to them. Nobody emails me. There’s days on end I don’t get one email, okay, I work in an office and still not one email, so.

 

Ellie Kemper  16:29

Yeah, how so you’re so this isn’t you don’t know. Let me just understand you. It’s not known to you what you did. You’re just saying you must have done something to stop these emails because you don’t get emails anymore. You’re not sure what you did, but the universe has decided you won’t get more emails. Okay, I see, I think that is a blessing.

 

Jo Firestone  16:52

How many emails would you all say you get? Just, I mean, rough.

 

Scott Eckert  16:55

I mean, I would say I get dozens of emails, and many of them are sort of spam filtered, kind of promotions and stuff. But I also get, my I get a lot of emails. I don’t want that, aren’t I get a lot? Ellie, am I wrong? I mean, don’t you get a lot of emails?

 

Ellie Kemper  17:14

No, I get dozens and dozens of emails. Now here, yes, there are a lot of just lists, just whatever list you find yourself on, a subscriber list that you have to unsubscribe. To unsubscribe from, but not, I won’t count those, okay? And I’ll tell you I probably get, I don’t know, I’m on the low end of emails, but certainly 20 to 30 emails a day that aren’t, you know, from a list from some magazine or some store, right?

 

Scott Eckert  17:41

A promotion, I mean, you and I, Ellie, probably a gig. We’re we probably exchange emails almost once a day, right? Yeah, what about just like you were emailing each other logistics and stuff.

 

Ellie Kemper  17:54

Sure, but my thing is that okay, I loved talking on the phone with the cord. When I was a teenager, I loved talking to my friends. I’m not sure if I changed or if the technology changed, but I no longer look forward. I mean, I apologize to everyone I talk on the phone with. I no longer look forward to a phone call. And I don’t know, and I’m sure you know what, actually, I bet that’s a pretty relatable feeling in this age of text but there is, I certainly never pick up if I see a phone call coming, unless it’s you, Jo or you Scott, I am not going to pick up because I don’t know what they’re going to say to me. I need some warning. I need to be prepared. I also never have my ringer on, which is a defense mechanism, probably. But the idea all of this to say, I think your relationship with the phone, Joe, is infinitely healthier. Just pick up the phone. Just don’t be afraid. It’s it’s to help us. You had a great catch up with your friend. Well, you didn’t catch up. Come on.

 

Jo Firestone  18:58

Here we go. We did, right? We truly. It’s like, okay, I understand. I understand preferring texts, and I understand having some time to kind of gage. I get that too, but I find that I don’t even know how to. I don’t even know how to type anymore. You know what I mean? Like, I don’t know how to sometimes I’m like, dude, like, here’s how this is toxic. If someone’s texting me, I’ll try to switch it to voice notes. That’s not right. I know that’s not right, but that’s what I’ll try to I’ll try to edge my way into the phone call.

 

Ellie Kemper  19:34

Is it? Because it’s like, do you find it harder to express yourself in over the written word, because certainly tone cannot be always be accurately conveyed.

 

Scott Eckert  19:43

I mean, she wrote like, like, your your profession is kind of writer, right? Or at least that’s.

 

Jo Firestone  19:51

I know, and it’s I know I shouldn’t really publicly, but I really find it so difficult.

 

Ellie Kemper  19:56

Do you have standing phone dates with friends, family? Like, is it something where you are? Oh, my gosh, yeah, it’s Sunday at two. I know I’m calling Mary.

 

Jo Firestone  20:06

No, I couldn’t do stick to that, right? It’s free form. It’s all free form, and I know some people that. So what? At one point, every one of my like, true, I’d say, like, I have, what you think maybe four friends, three of them moved away. Okay, at 1.3 of them moved away. Had one friend left. Brutal. Okay, so I asked someone how to make friends, and he was like, You should schedule phone dates. And I was like, I just can’t, I can’t do it. I think especially in LA it’s so it’s everyone’s like, so isolated. And that I do find it’s easier to get someone on the phone spontaneously than to get someone together.

 

Ellie Kemper  20:46

Oh  yes, that does make sense. Do you mean you’ll call someone without any warning? You’ll call one of your friends? Do they pick up?

 

Jo Firestone  20:55

It depends? It depends on the person. But you know, it’s like, I know, I’m not gonna call the people that don’t like it. I know the people that like it. There’s a, you know what I mean, there’s an understanding some of these people, they’re asking for it, you know what I mean, I’m asking for it and, and this is not, it’s not necessarily, like, you know, I know some people, if I cold called them, this friendship would be over three seconds.

 

Jo Firestone  20:55

Well, they probably think it’s an emergency.

 

Jo Firestone  20:58

Yes, I that is no, that is, I know a few friends that are always like somebody died, and I’m like, no, no, no, nobody died this time. But I think that, like you two have been friends for a long time, right?

 

Ellie Kemper  21:38

A long time, decades, decades.

 

Jo Firestone  21:40

If Ellie called you, Scott, if what would you say that this is an emergency?

 

Scott Eckert  21:46

I would be Yeah. If Ellie yes, if it were out of the blue, I would be alarmed. I’m always alarmed when anyone calls me, except for my wife, when I make fun of my wife, in a moment, but, but yes, to answer your question, to answer your question, Jo, I would be alarmed if it wasn’t something that we had planned ahead of time.

 

Ellie Kemper  22:06

Oh, interesting, Scott, if you called me, I wouldn’t be alarmed. Now, what does that say? What does that say?

 

Jo Firestone  22:13

What does it say? I would you pick up? Though, would you pick I will definitely pick up. Joe, you screen calls. I’m sure, even though, okay, I gotta I, I say I, at some point I don’t know what happened this year, I stopped. I pick up for everybody. I pick up every time.

 

Scott Eckert  22:30

No more emails, phasing out. Text. Picks up every call, no matter what, every Wow, even even from unknown numbers. Joe, if it’s like an unknown number in your phone, your phone warns you potential spam or whatever, do you still pick up?

 

Jo Firestone  22:47

I’d  pick up. I just think, can I just say I think that sometimes Texas, I have too many questions. You know that, like, you know that little question mark thing you could do in response, I want to do that to every single text. Was this? What do you mean?

 

Scott Eckert  23:04

It’s easier to just clear it up over the phone, yeah.

 

Ellie Kemper  23:09

I have when I’m discussing again, logistics, yes, much easier to I disagree. I think those are harder over text, just easier to call. There’s only a certain number of people who can do that. You can say, just like, let’s be clear, we’re only talking about logistics. I can do that with my sister. She’s about it where it’s like, I can just run through it and hang up. You know, there’s don’t need to be a ton of pleasantries, which is great, but then also, what my fear so Joe and I want to hear about what you’re going to make fun of sweet Vanessa, who we adore. But hold on, Scott, because I want to ask this, are there are certain people who you can keep it. How do I say this? Sometimes I don’t call someone because I know it’s going to be a very long conversation. Here’s my sister again. I know all I have to say is I have to go by and it’s great. Oh, can you do that now you’ve Oh, no, sorry. Go on.

 

Scott Eckert  23:58

Because this is Jo is the phone expert. Jo jumps in.

 

Jo Firestone  24:01

Scott, no, what’s going on? Scott, you have a visceral reaction. You’ve been activating.

 

Scott Eckert  24:06

You just that idea of being able to simply say, Okay, I’m done by and that being accepted. I want that ability. And have had many conversations, especially in the last couple of years, where I want that to there should be that escape hatch, like instant escape hatch in almost all circumstances of our life. I think that you go, if you go into a restaurant and you’re just not vibing with it, you should be able to put like $20 on the table and walk out and it’s everyone’s cool with it, like I want to be able to quit things as soon as I don’t want to be in those things, and it’s hard to do. So I envy that, that that superpower you have on your your calls with your sister, Ellie.

 

Ellie Kemper  24:49

It’s amazing. And also with my Jo, I have another Joe in my life. She’s my best friend. Joe the the easiest. Uh, okay, yeah, all right, well, okay, bye. It’s just bye. You don’t need a reason, Scott, what were you gonna say about something?

 

Scott Eckert  25:03

I was gonna make fun of my wife the so the only person, by our first approximation, the only person who ever calls me on the telephone is my wife. And as Ellie knows, and we may have talked about on the podcast before, she’s an extremely impatient person. She’s the most impatient person I have ever met, and it and it’s grown worse with age. It’s astonishing like or it’s grown better. It’s good to be impatient. Maybe, um, she gets, certainly gets things done. But like, whatever we all know what procrastinators are like, maybe it’s maybe I might even describe myself as a procrastinator in some regards. But whatever, whatever the opposite of procrastinator is, that’s what my wife is like. As soon as something enters her like radar, it needs to be done immediately. And I so I said, the only time, only people I ever really talked to on the phone, or my wife, at least half of the calls, we text a lot, and at least half of the actual phone calls are my phone will ring. It’ll Ding, ding, like with a text alert, and as I’m reading the text, the phone will ring and it will be from her, and she’s so impatient for like, an answer that she clicked send on the text and then couldn’t wait like, five seconds, and then calls me on the telephone so that so all my phone calls are with her, and half of them are in that exact circumstance.

 

Ellie Kemper  26:23

Yep, did you ever have a break from talking on the phone, Joe, like, when, when texting did start? Did you like, did you ever enter a zone of like, oh, I don’t enjoy talking on the phone as much? Or like, like, maybe the rest of well, the rest of the world maybe, where it was like, Oh, we’re not talking on the phone as much in general, because we have these other lines of communication. Did you ever have that? Or has it been an unwavering allegiance, I guess, to the phone.

 

Jo Firestone  26:51

I used to write emails and stuff. Yeah, I used to kind of text message people and stuff. I think I did that. But at a certain point I felt my instincts creeping in, like, I’ve been dating the same guy for about six years now, over six years, and when we were first started texting, he we’d text a lot and and then I would just pick up the phone call, and he would always be like, what do you do? What is going on? Hey. And he would, I could tell he hated it, but I was just like, this is we, it’s stupid. It’s stupid. You know what I mean, yeah, yeah. It’s like, what are they playing Mario Kart? You know what I mean. It’s just, it’s too many thumbs. But I do, I think that the key is being able to get off. I think that’s the key because, because I get, I got some people in my life when you’re like, Hey, I gotta go. They’re like, wait. And you like, well, this is not gonna, you know, those are the you gotta be. You gotta be careful around those people, the waiters, you know what I mean. And so I think that if you get that, if you get that President set up where you’re like, I gotta go by, they could say it too. If they hang up on you don’t even say anything. You don’t call back. That’s  where you’re at.  That is it.

 

Scott Eckert  28:12

Well, what? So, Jo, are there any phone what? What phone etiquette do you follow?

 

Jo Firestone  28:17

Um, okay. So I was, I, I was at a diner, and the person across from me was also at a diner, I will, yeah, and they were, we were both alone at the diner, and this person was eating a salad while talking on the phone. And I was like, I don’t think I’d eat a salad. Yeah, salad is too juicy.

 

Ellie Kemper  28:38

Yeah, it’s too Yep, there’s too much sound.

 

Jo Firestone  28:42

So I don’t know if I would eat a salad, yeah, but I would maybe put it on speakerphone and eat pasta from afar.

 

Ellie Kemper  28:49

That’s exactly right, a quiet food. Are you ever on? What do you think of being on a speakerphone while you’re shopping, while you’re at the grocery store? A speakerphone.

 

Jo Firestone  29:00

Listen, I think you’re getting the wrong idea about me. Okay, I would never will go on speaker phone at a grocery store. Okay? I never would do so.

 

Ellie Kemper  29:12

That is such a damning portrait. I apologize for even associating that with you.

 

Jo Firestone  29:17

I have felt so safe on this podcast until this and now I don’t know where we can go from here.

 

Ellie Kemper  29:22

I you know what it is? Again, it’s my it’s my personal projection. I think that’s coming into it because I was annoyed by someone on the speaker phone at the grocery store, and I thought, I guess Ellie, it’s not that different from if they were just two people talking. It’s not different.

 

Jo Firestone  29:35

You try to say that to yourself, you do for sure, but I’ve done that too, but I prefer. I love talking on the phone to the grocery store. Yeah, that’s fun. But you gotta private. It is private. It’s high private.

 

Scott Eckert  29:47

What about, what of an earbud situation? What do you? Where are you? Where do you come down on that?

 

Jo Firestone  29:52

I don’t here’s the thing. I don’t understand earbuds. I don’t understand I don’t understand. Comments. I don’t have them. I don’t understand them. I don’t know. I don’t understand them. I keep thinking, I’m gonna, I’m gonna swallow them. I don’t have them, and I don’t and on my phone, I can’t figure out how to plug the headphones in. I don’t have headphones. I never I can’t figure them out. I don’t understand the truth.

 

Ellie Kemper  30:16

This whole time, I thought that maybe you were it was speaker is the mode of choice when you’re in your house or apartment. And then I assumed it was air pods after that, or some kind of ear thing. You’re telling me it’s speaker, or you’re holding it up to your ear.

 

Jo Firestone  30:36

My phone’s caked in caked in foundation. Oh, it’s brand new. It’s caked in foundations, disgusting. It looks like my face. My phone looks like my face.

 

Ellie Kemper  30:47

Lucky phone. I don’t know many jokes. This is, again, this is like an observation. Interpret it as you will. I mean it. I intend it with admiration. I don’t know anyone who just talks like.

 

Scott Eckert  31:02

That sometimes, because you.

 

Jo Firestone  31:07

Don’t even ear pods.

 

Scott Eckert  31:08

No, it’s when my AirPods run out of charge usually.

 

Jo Firestone  31:10

Oh, see, this is the okay.

 

Ellie Kemper  31:13

And you don’t get, you don’t, do you guys get acne? Because, like, if I do that, that it might, it’s I have zits the next day.

 

Scott Eckert  31:22

That seems very sensitive. Ellie, that doesn’t.

 

Ellie Kemper  31:26

Are you kidding? My body is on every second of the day. It’s like about to explode. I mean, I internalize everything. So, yeah, that is, it’s, it’s no wonder there’s such a breakout so fast. But moreover, it’s get my phone gets so hot. Yeah, it does get hot. It does get hot. You prefer that to any sort of earpiece.

 

Jo Firestone  31:47

I don’t know. I just once you stop being able to plug headphones, yeah, into phone. I don’t I just kind of gave it’s too advanced. And I, you know what at some point I should learn.

 

Ellie Kemper  32:01

Is there not a place for me? No, there isn’t. There’s like, no place for me to even plug in headphones anymore well.

 

Scott Eckert  32:09

The charger thing, yeah, we’ll do it, but.

 

Ellie Kemper  32:11

All right, but still, they lost you at the disconnected, the wireless, I guess, the wire, the Bluetooth, the Bluetooth is where they lost you.

 

Jo Firestone  32:20

I don’t know, I should look into it, but I just the AirPods. I just can’t I keep thinking I’m gonna they just look like food to me.

 

Ellie Kemper  32:30

I understand the concern.

 

Scott Eckert  32:34

Is the concern that you might accidentally eat them, or is the concern that you really don’t want to put food into your ears?

 

Jo Firestone  32:41

It just feels like, it’s like so everything’s so close, you know what I mean? And I don’t it just feels like you need some kind of wire to code you back.

 

Ellie Kemper  32:50

I get that.

 

Jo Firestone  32:52

You all are walking around with your ear pods in your ears.

 

Ellie Kemper  32:56

I am.

 

Scott Eckert  32:57

Not all the time, but sometimes I’m not. I don’t know. I don’t have an aversion to it.

 

Jo Firestone  33:02

And if you run into someone on the street, you’re walking down the street, you got your ear pods, and you’re listening to music, I don’t know. And then, and then you take them out, and you see someone in the street. You just hold them. You hold them like this.

 

Ellie Kemper  33:13

That’s Jo you have hit the nail on the head. That’s it’s an impossible situation.

 

Scott Eckert  33:19

Well, they know it’s not. They have a case, and you put the case in your pocket.

 

Ellie Kemper  33:23

What if you’re in a hurry? Scott, oh, it’s Mary. Mary’s my ghost name. It’s Mary. You’re holding both air pods in your hand, like a couple of peanuts, just like you said. And then sometimes I’m stuffing it in my back pocket. That’s safe. No, not at all. Yeah, Scott, sometimes there’s not time to put them.

 

Scott Eckert  33:42

I’m sorry, Joe, how would the wires help with that situation?

 

Jo Firestone  33:46

Toss it around necklace.

 

Scott Eckert  33:50

You know what? I have to confess. The necklace opportunity. I didn’t I didn’t see that. And it’s just one of many things that you’ve opened my eyes to during this conversation, Joe, do you have any final thoughts about your love of phones before we switch to to a game that is, that is, we’re gonna plumb the depths of Joe Firestone on a couple of non phone topics. But before we do, do you have any last thoughts on phones?

 

Jo Firestone  34:16

I’ll say this. I’ll just leave this out there. I’m thinking about getting a landline.

 

Ellie Kemper  34:19

I think you should. I gotta say I didn’t know whether to go there or not, but I was wondering in the back of my head the whole time, does she have a landline? Because I know you live in Los Angeles, I feel like not many people have landlines. I don’t know if that’s okay. I revealed where you live.

 

Jo Firestone  34:37

Now, yeah, no, it’s okay. I said it too. We’ve been talking about.

 

Ellie Kemper  34:41

Yeah, it’s been, it’s known that’s where you live, okay, and that’s my end. You want to get a hold of her, call her on the phone in Los Angeles. I think you would be nothing but smart to get a landline knowing you, knowing how you live, what you live for. I think a landline. It would make all the sense in the world.

 

Scott Eckert  35:02

I would beg you, though, to keep the cell phone, because that might be, that might be the one final step too far if you switch to full landline. Otherwise unacceptable, right? You wouldn’t, you wouldn’t have those wonderful Burger King in the car moments. So you’re right, get a landline and then hold on to that cell phone. But never with, never with the air pods.

 

Jo Firestone  35:22

You’re right. No, you’re right. Okay, that’s yeah, you’re right.

 

Ellie Kemper  35:26

Joe, if you have time, we would love for you to stick around and play a game that we play called Love it or loathe it. And we can, and we can learn more about you.

 

Jo Firestone  35:34

Great. I’d love that.

 

Ellie Kemper  35:50

Guys, we’re back. We are here with the wonderful Joe Firestone, who loves to chat on the phone, and we are going to play one of our favorite games, one of our only games is called Love it or loathe it. Now, Joe, the rules are simple. We’re going to give you some items and you’re going to tell us whether you love that thing or you load that thing. Here’s the deal. There’s no gray area, okay, oh, okay, yeah, you’re all in or you’re all out, and they’re understood. Okay, that’s it. There are right answers. There are wrong answers. It’s love it or loathe it. Okay? Joe for the first, love it or loathe it. Dance workout classes?

 

Jo Firestone  36:31

Love it. I find them hard. I would wish to be them by myself, but I love them.

 

Ellie Kemper  36:37

What do you I have never taken a dance workout class? Have you Scott?

 

Scott Eckert  36:43

No, I think I know what they are, and they seem fun, but I want to hear more.

 

Jo Firestone  36:47

You two have never gone to a good dance workout class?

 

Ellie Kemper  36:50

I’ve never been to one. Scott’s been to yoga. I’ve been to, like, a bar class, yeah. What is it about it that you love?

 

Jo Firestone  36:57

Well, the one thing is, here’s the best thing is that you get to learn to dance. The worst thing is that people record it for their Instagrams, and then you’re in the background of their video looking like shit. Okay, that is, I would say that’s the bad thing. That’s hard, but it but the good thing is watching dancers, because have you ever watched I know it’s it’s hard to take your eyes off of the main attraction, but if you ever watch backup dancers, it is they are it is their bodies are made of liquid, and it is incredible to watch them. So to watch good dancers in an exercise class where you’re supposed to be there for your health is incredible. That’s amazing. It’s great. Love to watch dancers.

 

Ellie Kemper  37:39

You, you’ve inspired me. So I get nervous being trying new classes because I don’t know necessarily what I’m doing. And of course, that makes sense to be a little bit intimidating, but your approach, I think I need to adopt where it’s just like we’ll learn from the masters. Let’s go watch, let’s go watch beautiful choreography.

 

Jo Firestone  37:56

Sometimes it’s really beautiful to watch, but I’ve been I started taking I when I didn’t have a job for like, a year, I started taking tap dance classes which were not really exercise, but really good. Yes, that one was, I was like, that’s this is I could, if I could just not think about money and just take tap dancing classes and never work. Whoa, would that be a great life.

 

Ellie Kemper  38:18

Wow, that imagine you in that going home, tapping your way through the day, and then having a nice little phone call at night. Jo, incredible. Yes, I get it.

 

Jo Firestone  38:30

They encourage you to tap on your off time. They for practice.

 

Ellie Kemper  38:34

I believe you. I It seems to me so mathematical. Tap where it’s like your brain is really working so hard. I don’t know does that?

 

Jo Firestone  38:45

Yeah, try counting. You count to four. You count to four again. You want into 12341, into you always count to four if you get it’s a lot of math.

 

Scott Eckert  38:56

All right, Jo, love it or loathe it. The next one, hard boiled eggs.

 

Jo Firestone  39:02

I guess love it. I guess she knows. I guess love it.  That’s the part that every time I eat those I feel like a wolf.

 

Scott Eckert  39:13

Are wolves? Why do you feel like a wolf?

 

Jo Firestone  39:17

Because you’re eating a full egg with your mouth, I know.

 

Scott Eckert  39:21

But if it were in another form, like scrambled eggs, you would still be eating the full egg, right?

 

Jo Firestone  39:26

But it’s like with a fork, and they’re seasoning with a hard boiled egg, you’re just eating a wolf style.

 

Ellie Kemper  39:33

I know, Do you put anything on it show do you just eat though?

 

Jo Firestone  39:36

I’ll do salt and pepper. Yeah I’ll do salt and pepper, maybe a little hot sauce if I’m feeling crazy. Yeah, so you all, do you all have secret opinions about these things?

 

Ellie Kemper  39:46

Not secret, no, and by the way, that sounded cagey, not secret. There’s no it’s not meant to like, there’s no gotcha about it doesn’t reveal anything about you. If I just curious at random, right?

 

Jo Firestone  39:59

Coming up.

 

Scott Eckert  40:02

You have every right to be curious. Mostly ran I love I’ll go on the record right now. I love hard boiled eggs. I love hard boiled eggs. My kids eat hard boiled eggs. I will ask, do you eat the yolk? Because I’m a yolk eater, but my kids are anti yolk.

 

Jo Firestone  40:15

When I was a kid, I was anti yolk, but now I eat the whole thing wolf style.

 

Scott Eckert  40:18

You can’t be a wolf if you’re not gonna eat the yolk.

 

Jo Firestone  40:22

Ellie, were you are you […] ?

 

Ellie Kemper  40:24

I’m always eating them. I the only thing that I think is unfortunate, of course, is the smell nobody loves. I mean, hello, it’s like used to describe unpleasant things, a hard boiled egg smell. It’s weird that something that tastes good can make a smell so bad, but that’s just the way it goes. I do want to know, has anyone I never had an aversion to the yolk. I always ate the whole thing just fine. That’s what it was. Wolf started the deal, Wolf style. But what is the is it the texture people object? I know in the old days it used to be, oh, the cholesterol is in the yolk, which maybe it still is, I don’t know. But then they say, oh, no, the yolk has the protein. But then he’s a no, there’s more protein in the white, gooey, the Gillette, whatever. How do you describe that rubbery part? Where is the protein? Isn’t it all protein?

 

Jo Firestone  41:09

You’d you’d hope, what if we find out it’s in the show?

 

Scott Eckert  41:18

That’s the true wolf styles, with the shell. You don’t need it with the shell, right? Where’s the shell in these things, right? And be shelling these things here. Well, here’s I just realized this as we were talking. I think that a hard boiled egg may be the only food on earth that I would not only would I prefer to prepare myself, but I really don’t enjoy buying, like the pre made, like they’re in, like a bag, or whatever the gas station, it’s like, no, I guess I want, I want my hard boiled egg. I want to put it in the pot and take it out myself. That’s, that’s the only way.

 

Ellie Kemper  41:55

Buying hard boiled eggs at a gas station is no one’s idea of like, doing it correctly, but they have those bags at Trader Joe’s that I trust.

 

Scott Eckert  42:06

Trader Joe’s makes it okay, but you sneer down your nose at a gas station.

 

Ellie Kemper  42:11

Yes, there’s no right answer. There is a right answer. It’s best when you make it at home. All right, Jo love it. Love and eat it, wolf style, love it or loathe it. Swim caps.

 

Jo Firestone  42:25

Listen, this is gonna, I hate them. Love it good. I hate them. I took one waters a rope, I mean, water aerobics class, and it was they. I They were like, You need a swim cap? I said, please. And the teacher gave me hers, which is generous, but also feels like you’re sharing some kind of prophylactic. Is so bad. I hate swim cap. I hate swim cap. And then when you look at yourself in the mirror, you’re like, oh.

 

Ellie Kemper  42:53

Why is i? It’s it’s unkind. It’s unkind to make someone look like that, you look crazy.

 

Jo Firestone  43:03

Swim cap is not, it’s not for me.

 

Ellie Kemper  43:05

Do you? Does it, the appearance? Yes, what about for me? It’s the pain. It’s always grabbing my hair.

 

Jo Firestone  43:13

Terrible, I love goggles. If they had what did for goggles for eyes, to swim cap for head, I would get it for in a second, a little bubble in a second.

 

Ellie Kemper  43:27

A suction, something in a second, something that I see. What you mean? Would it be, would it be clear in a second?

 

Scott Eckert  43:35

Yeah, okay. What would we call it like a like a swim bubble, or a swim helmet or something,

 

Jo Firestone  43:42

Yes, helmet implies safety, yeah, yeah, that’s gonna sell.

 

Scott Eckert  43:47

Right well, all right. Last one, Jo, okay. Used books. Love it or loathe it.

 

Jo Firestone  43:53

I love it because I stain every one of my books. I just got, I just got lipstick all over a new book, every page is covered in lipstick. Now this is, I don’t know what happened. I don’t even wear lipstick. It’s covered in lipstick. I don’t know how it happened, but it’s very it’s very attractive, yeah, but a used book for some reason, and never stained those because there are, they’re pre stained. I don’t have to. It’s I prefer a interesting.

 

Ellie Kemper  44:22

And isn’t it great when they have notes in the margins or an inscription, a dedication? Oh to Yeah, it’s, they’re lovely.

 

Jo Firestone  44:29

Also, um, you know, I love a soft book. I love soft cover, and I love a smaller book that you could carry. And I’d say a lot of these books today, they’re making them bigger than ever.

 

Scott Eckert  44:41

Too big, huge. Too big. Yeah.

 

Jo Firestone  44:44

What are we supposed to read them at a table?

 

Ellie Kemper  44:46

I don’t, I don’t know. I Yeah, you can’t hold it up. You can’t do this like you, like with one hand. You can’t hold it with your pinky and your thumb.

 

Jo Firestone  44:54

Unless you’re some kind of basketball. That’s exactly not. This is not.

 

Ellie Kemper  44:58

It’s not. I prefer average. Hands, not I and the and the actual weight of the paper is heavier. I don’t know why. Like certain books. I don’t know why, but, yeah, used books, you don’t see that, do you?

 

Jo Firestone  45:10

They’re soft. They’re so soft. And they see getting.

 

Ellie Kemper  45:13

Yeah, they’re like sheets.

 

Jo Firestone  45:18

It’s so sweet.

 

Scott Eckert  45:19

Used bookstores are among my favorite places in the whole world, because I like, I just like, and I like that they’re cheap too. I like that they cost less money.

 

Ellie Kemper  45:19

Can I? I need to let these book owners, these book use, bookshelf owners, in on a secret. People will pay more. You don’t have to sell it for so cheap. Because, like, I’m we’re all expressing shock that it is as cheap as it is, and I feel like they could get away with charging more, I don’t know, right? It feels like they’re more valuable.

 

Scott Eckert  45:48

It depends on the book. I mean, if there’s a 50 cent bin or $1 bin, I’m gonna walk away with some books. If they were $3 I wouldn’t. So, you know.

 

Ellie Kemper  45:59

You guys, I found a book. How do you say this author’s name? William Stieg, oh, it’s got. I texted you about it, William. I didn’t call him about it. I texted him, is it Steig, S, T, E, I, G, he wrote Shrek, but he also wrote, like Dr De Soto. Do you know these? I found a used book with an inscription from him. I can see that it’s not gonna Wow anyone here, because no one knows who he is, but when you find like an author’s inscription, you can’t believe it. All right.

 

Jo Firestone  46:25

It’s cool.

 

Ellie Kemper  46:26

Yeah, it’s the best.

 

Scott Eckert  46:27

Well, what I think has been the best is having Joe Firestone on our show. That’s the best.

 

Ellie Kemper  46:32

I need to mention Jo also, you won the game. You won love it or love it. Great job. So it has been nothing short of a delight talking with you.

 

Jo Firestone  46:42

I have said such a great time. Usually I go away from podcasting and wow, what a mess. And this one, I thought, A plus, really good.

 

Ellie Kemper  46:56

That’s all we wanted. And and I I’m glad that you stand by everything you said. I think everything you said is, is correct and wholesome and admirable. Is there anything that you’re working on now that you would like to promote you’re working on 100 things, but I wanted, we want to give you a chance to plug some stuff.

 

Jo Firestone  47:15

Oh, you know you could check out. I You could check out my podcast after game show. There you go, there we go.

 

Ellie Kemper  47:22

There you go. Well, be sure to check that out, everybody. Um, Joe, thank you so much for being on born to love we I’m sorry that it was on Zoom and not on the phone. Call back.

 

Jo Firestone  47:37

What if it was on the phone? Oh my

 

Ellie Kemper  47:39

gosh, it would have soared. It would, I mean, we’d still be talking. I hate

 

Scott Eckert  47:43

conference calls, though. I don’t want to, like, start up. No, no. That’s why it would have been more than one on one is the only way to go on the phone. If you got more than using people, it’s Zoom is better, despite zoom being awful. It’s, I don’t know why, but I hate conference calls.

 

Ellie Kemper  47:57

You’re right, yep, Jo thank you so much for being on board to love.

 

Jo Firestone  48:01

Thank you. This was delightful.

 

Ellie Kemper  48:13

Well, Scott, that was a delightful chat with a delightful woman. I am craving Burger King now I am want to call someone on the phone. I mean, Scott.

 

Scott Eckert  48:24

I think I want to get rid of all technology that’s, I mean, that’s this, this one she was born to love talking on the phone. But what I was really getting was that she’s afraid of technology.

 

Ellie Kemper  48:37

Which I fully respect. Maybe there’s something in the St Louis water, because I also want to do away with technology. Scott, what are you looking forward to this week?

 

Scott Eckert  48:47

Ellie, I’ll tell you what I’m looking forward to. I’m looking forward to evangelizing for my new favorite movie, a movie you turned me on to, a movie that we may talk about on this podcast. So I don’t want to get too into it, but, but listeners, I saw the movie honor, and I guess that it’s getting a lot of critical acclaim. I hadn’t really heard of it until you told me about it. Ellie, I consider it a hidden gem, and it’s spectacular, very R rated. It’s a very R rated movie about a sex worker, but absolutely spectacular. Go, go out and rent it. See it, if it’s in a theater near you, if there’s a re release or something, Anora great robbed of a Golden Globe, in my opinion.

 

Ellie Kemper  49:29

Oh, yes.

 

Scott Eckert  49:31

Do you have an Anora opinion? You want to save it?

 

Ellie Kemper  49:38

I’m gonna save it. I honestly am so happy that I am the one I think you just said it, that I’m the one who recommended a Nora to you, that I’m just gonna bask in that for a minute, because I just never recommend good movies. So I’m really glad that you liked it. Scott, here’s what I’m looking forward to. Getting back into a routine. I love the holidays as much as the next person who loves a holiday. But what I. Love even more is routine and structure and boundaries, and I am so happy to put those things back up in my life, because holidays come and it is madness all the boundaries and structures are torn down for like, a month, and I’m excited to get back into routines.

 

Scott Eckert  50:19

I couldn’t agree more, Ellie couldn’t agree more. Yeah, so that’s the episode, I think. Thank you so much for joining us.

 

Ellie Kemper  50:29

Yes, if you want to find me, I’m @Ellie Kemper on Instagram.

 

Scott Eckert  50:33

And I’m @meScottEckert on Twitter, be sure to leave us a five star review, and if you have any thoughts or questions for the show, send us an email at Borntolovefeedback@gmail.com.

 

Ellie Kemper  50:42

There’s more Born To Love with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content where we flip the script and talk about something we don’t love.

 

Scott Eckert  50:53

And this week, listeners, I’m going to talk about some Christmas gifts that I don’t love. So if you’re a family member of mine listening to this, I guess you better sign up for Lemonada Premium to get the juice on what I hated. So here are gripes, not just our loves, but only if you subscribe in Apple podcasts. Born to Love is a production of Lemonada Media our producers are Kegan Zema and Aria Bracci.  Our engineers are Ivan Kuraev and James Sparber. Our SVP of weekly production is Steve Nelson, and our cover art photography is by Tony Russo. Executive Producers are Jessica Cordova Kramer, Stephanie Wittels Wachs, Ellie Kemper and Scott Eckert follow Born To Love. Wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.And as we do every week, we’re gonna end with a memorable quote. And this one is from et The Extra Terrestrial. It’s related to Joe firestone’s Love I bet you know it already. Phone home. ET, phone home that said that didn’t really sound like ET but it’s a great quote.

 

Ellie Kemper  52:07

It sounded like some extraterrestrial

 

Scott Eckert  52:10

Thanks for listening.

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