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It’s what we all deserve: being read up and down by a fabulous former therapist-in-training. Nori Reed joins me to talk alcohol allergies, prescription psychedelics, and what exactly she thinks is wrong with me. There is no better feeling than sharing a couch with a comedian as sharp and perceptive as Nori, and — as you’ll hear — there’s also no better girl to scheme up a cruise with.

Trans-It Girls, Nori’s live show co-hosted by Hayden Johnson, is headed to Austin for the Moontower Comedy Festival on April 18 — grab your tickets now!

You can now buy my debut book, Paper Doll: Notes from a Late Bloomer, wherever books are sold. Follow me on TikTok and Instagram at @dylanmulvaney. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Sender 1, Speaker 1, Nori Reed, Dylan Mulvaney, Lemonada

Dylan Mulvaney  01:34

Welcome back to the Dylan Hour everyone is this an okay time? I really hope it is, because today’s episode is themed around therapy, something that I could definitely use more of. I’ve been in therapy for a lot of my life, but the last few years, I’ve sort of switched to a celebrity life coach, which definitely has its pros and cons. But the reason that today’s episode is themed around therapy is because our guest did originally want to be a therapist. Before her amazing comedy career, she has written on Disney’s ravens home as well as after midnight, and her comedy showcase is in Netflix is a joke festival and Comedy Central’s cluster fest, much more, also she’s one of my favorite comedians. That was actually, I think the first trans stand up that I saw in LA in an Eagle Rock backyard, which, if anyone knows Eagle Rock, it’s kind of the cool place to go see queer comedy. But before making it in comedy, she wanted to be a therapist, so I’m going to give her the opportunity to tell me everything that she thinks is wrong with me, not only on her behalf, but on behalf of the entire trans community. She is widely known for her successful live show, trans it girls here in LA. Welcome to the podcast Nori Reed, hey girl.

 

Nori Reed  02:49

Oh my God. What a bio, if the industry ever goes to you know, shit out. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll just be a therapist this.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  02:57

Well, this is the start.

 

Nori Reed  02:58

Yeah.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  02:59

Therapies me bitch.

 

Nori Reed  03:00

Yeah, you so. EV, so everything that’s wrong with you.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  03:03

Yes.

 

Nori Reed  03:03

I’m gonna start with too beautiful.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  03:05

Oh.

 

Nori Reed  03:06

I think that is, that’s what I’m gonna start. I think my formal diagnosis is too beautiful, yeah, too kind, too Yeah, and too talented. It’s kind of a triple diagnosis there, yeah.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  03:18

Okay, and do you think, like, what would the like? What would I should I start doing to not be that way?

 

Nori Reed  03:25

You know, I think it’s an incurable there’s no cure. I think the only kind of treatment is just to keep on succeeding.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  03:33

This is the best $700 I’ve ever spent, and that’s how much you should be charging. Because I don’t think you should go through insurance. I don’t think insurance, let you I would never private pay.

 

Nori Reed  03:42

I would never do insurance.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  03:44

So there’s a little drink to your right, honey. And this we are calling, there’s something wrong with Yuzu. And by Yuzu I mean Mizu. That’s crazy. So cheers to you.

 

Nori Reed  04:00

Cheers.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  04:00

Cheers to yuzu. What is yuzu, honey, and why did you ask for it?

 

Nori Reed  04:04

It’s she is exotic. She’s from Japan. Okay, sips, I believe maybe even Kyoto more like in Kyoto, they really like it. Okay, I love Japan, I’m obsessed.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  04:16

You just, we’re gonna talk about Japan. Oh, okay. You traveled there, right?

 

Nori Reed  04:19

Always, yeah.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  04:20

Okay, and this also has ketamine in it. This does, I’m kidding, thank God.

 

Nori Reed  04:27

Well, you know, I do so many podcasts, and they never give them ketamine, and I’m just like, why am I here?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  04:32

But it’s crazy, because I was listening to my favorite, favorite podcast called seek treatment. Oh yes. And you were talking about how you do ketamine on occasion.

 

Nori Reed  04:41

I do it helped me so much, really, yes, and now I’m kind of on, like, a maintenance dose.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  04:45

Okay, so, but we don’t drink alcohol, but we do do ketamine.

 

Nori Reed  04:49

Yeah, I don’t really see I’m allergic to alcohol. Oh, what happens if you do have friends who have, like, the Asian flush?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  04:55

I’ve heard of this.

 

Nori Reed  04:56

So I don’t have a good time. Like, if I drink, I physically feel bad. Have a hangover while.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  05:01

I’m you don’t want to, like, have sex with a random stranger in a bar?

 

Nori Reed  05:04

Well, always, okay, yeah, that’s without alcohol. Oh, my God, but, like yeah, but with ketamine, sips.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  05:13

Little ASMR friends at the Dylan Hour.

 

Nori Reed  05:15

With ketamine. Um, no, I just, I really love it. I really do.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  05:19

What was that something you would recommend for me as your patient?

 

Nori Reed  05:22

Yes.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  05:23

Really? To anyone you, but what is, what does it do it? What does it not do? Wait, have I done? Oh, shit, cut the camera, stay in school, kids and how about but ketamine? What like? What did it do for you?

 

Nori Reed  05:38

So the reason why I did it is because a friend of mine told me that when you do it in a therapeutic way, because you can, like, you can go to Akbar and do kind of mean, right? And that’s just, that’s for fun, yes, but you could do it therapeutically with a doctor. I get mine through a doctor based on a test, and no, actually, should not. I shouldn’t joke. It’s actually very, it’s very legitimate, okay, but they, they send it to you, and you do it at home with a friend, and […]

 

Dylan Mulvaney  06:05

This doctor is who’s your friend that is going to be watching you.

 

Nori Reed  06:10

They make you have a friend present because they are very safe.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  06:13

And are you doing like, um, is this like you’re submitting the picture of your friend through an application? Or like, how.

 

Nori Reed  06:19

It’s kind of like it’s a trust this is a trust exercise.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  06:24

Would you be, like, I was gonna say, Would you be my friend when, when I do ketamine, but you actually would be there as a therapist?

 

Nori Reed  06:30

I would love. I’d be honored.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  06:31

700 an hour?

 

Nori Reed  06:32

On for free.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  06:34

Wow.

 

Nori Reed  06:34

For free for one you succota.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  06:35

I ex, like, is are you? Do you cry? Do you sweat?

 

Nori Reed  06:40

Yeah. So basically, I do mine through tablet, and you chew it for 15 and swish. It’s very nasty. Tastes very bad.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  06:48

This isn’t trans ASMR show now.

 

Nori Reed  06:52

So basically you switch to your mouth, and then it starts to work after 15 minutes.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  06:59

And is it supposed to bring you joy, or is it supposed to.

 

Nori Reed  07:01

Euphoric.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  07:02

Okay.

 

Nori Reed  07:03

And it’s a little out of body. You don’t you kind of detach from your body.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  07:06

Do you find like, realizations, like shrooms, like.

 

Nori Reed  07:09

100 it’s kind of like shrooms on ketamine,

 

Dylan Mulvaney  07:13

Ayahuasca.

 

Nori Reed  07:14

I would love to.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  07:15

I did that one.

 

Nori Reed  07:16

Wait, did you? Did you like it?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  07:17

I threw up so much. It was amazing.

 

Nori Reed  07:19

Okay.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  07:19

Yeah, you got to go down to the real don’t do it in like the hills, like.

 

Nori Reed  07:23

I was a good like Peru, that’s where I went. And did you judge people for you, if I may ask, did you just vomit, or was there other things? Because I know some people, it’s both.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  07:30

I never did, which brought me a lot of joy, because I think I could have handled that as well, but and it I had black smoke come out of my mouth when I vomited.

 

Nori Reed  07:41

Like in real, in this reality, or I’m pretty sure, in this higher reality, I’m pretty sure, and oh, nipples leaked in in this reality, or the higher Okay, and.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  07:49

They said that was rare, but it was okay.

 

Nori Reed  07:52

It was that very like, was that a, like, a gender affirming for you?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  07:55

So much.

 

Nori Reed  07:56

Yeah.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  07:57

Well, that’s, yeah, I think. How about this? You give me your Texas contact, I will give you my Peru contact.

 

Nori Reed  08:06

I feel like this is how Hollywood works. This is Hollywood.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  08:10

It’s just people prescribing drugs to each other, drugs to each other, but not drinking alcohol. Never, never, never. Oh, actually, I wanted this is a great segue we need to do our bitter and sweet after our first sip. Here at the Dylan Hour, we always do a bitter and sweet of the week. Okay, I’m excited. My bitter is the absolute camel toe that I’m getting from this fucking romper.

 

Nori Reed  08:33

I mean, it’s really good for the only romper, a jumpsuit. This would be a, I would call it a jumpsuit personally. But it’s also a romper.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  08:40

I feel kind of like a toddler. Clothes just expanded.

 

Nori Reed  08:43

It’s really cute.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  08:44

But I wore it because you’re a very like serious comedian that people take seriously here in the comedy biz, and I feel like women in comedy wear romper.

 

Nori Reed  08:53

Yes, they were that. They were a jump to the word romper.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  08:57

It’s very Chelsea Handler coated. It’s very Beth Stelling coded.What do you think it is about the romper that makes people in comedy just wear them?

 

Nori Reed  09:05

Well, I think it has something, definitely something to the gender, like when I first started comedy as a trans woman, I immediately got the clue that, like you kind of dressed a little bit more masculine on stage. You we really, yes, it’s a thing. I think it’s not like spoken it’s not like people talk about it, but I feel like women want to be taken seriously. They kind of like, don’t look cutesy.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  09:28

Right, and like, but like, do you want to give a shout out to, like, the cat Coens and the Mary Beth Barot in, like, ball gowns.

 

Nori Reed  09:35

I started out in the clubs, like, club comic, and I think that’s a very specific culture.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  09:41

Was that, like, the straight clubs?

 

Nori Reed  09:43

it’s like, street.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  09:44

Oh, did you have I felt when I did those, I just got, like, I had to put myself down to make them laugh.

 

Nori Reed  09:49

It’s horrible. It’s they’re not very nice places. I mean, well, no, I still do them. I still do clubs.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  09:54

Like, I’m there tonight.

 

Nori Reed  09:56

Yeah, I’m like, I’m literally, yeah, probably, but also, like, it’s not the. Most, like, welcoming place for queer people. No, I’ll say that.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  10:03

Would you wear, wait like this? Yeah? This would be, like, club what this would be called an overall dress? Okay, yeah. That’s not a bitter of the week. You look sweet.

 

Nori Reed  10:12

Thank you.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  10:13

So my sweet is, I’m going to the Hiltons. I’m going to Kathy Hilton’s tonight.

 

Nori Reed  10:19

Oh, my God.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  10:21

What do you think is your bitter and sweet of the week?

 

Nori Reed  10:23

My bitter, if I can just be honest, is I’m so tired.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  10:26

Lay down.

 

Nori Reed  10:27

I’m just like, I work a lot, which is a blessing, and I’m grateful, and you can never complain about it. You can never complain about work, because work is so hard right now for people.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  10:39

Anyone that you could have first world problems with, right now, it’s still a Mulvaney honey, right?

 

Nori Reed  10:44

We work a lot.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  10:45

Oh, honey. Now give us your give us your sweet.

 

Nori Reed  10:47

Sweet is, I am working a lot, but I’m meeting really nice people.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  10:55

If I see a doll like living her best life, I’m like, thank God, because I think that’s good for everyone involved.

 

Nori Reed  11:01

Yes, I deal with all I’m someone talk about therapy, if you know, since we’re talking about therapy a lot guilt, I’d struggle with guilt a lot. I mean, I grew up very Christian, and that Kentucky baby boy. I’m from Kentucky, and I feel like called Christian County. I’m from a Christian County. In that county was Christian. It was Christian, honey. It was very Christian.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  11:24

And so that, do you feel like that was, was it Catholic? Or, like, what Pentecostal? Okay.

 

Nori Reed  11:29

That’s like, speaking in tongues.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  11:31

I just got the, oh, really, yeah, way, did you ever?

 

Nori Reed  11:36

Yes.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  11:37

You committed to the bit.

 

Nori Reed  11:38

It’s like a mass hysteria kind of a thing where everyone else is doing it. So you’re like, and then like, yes, when you’re speaking in […]

 

Dylan Mulvaney  11:46

Anywhere similar to doing ketamine.

 

Nori Reed  11:51

I would say it’s a very similar experience.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  11:53

Yeah.

 

Nori Reed  11:53

100% yeah.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  11:56

And are people in Christian County, Kentucky, in therapy?

 

Nori Reed  11:59

I hope so. I mean, I would pray that they are I haven’t gone back in a very long time.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  12:05

But so Pentecostal guilt does mirror Catholic guilt.

 

Nori Reed  12:09

Yeah, ways because of the fear of hell, yeah, fear of hell, fear of burning. I haven’t thought about that. I don’t think so. Maybe not for us. I hope you know what we’re living in.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  12:23

It we’re living in we’re in Hollywood, baby, I think once you, once you hit trans, rich, it’s automatic, you’re going down. That is hell. You’re going down.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  12:29

Yeah, you were in Kentucky. In Kentucky, do you know of a ghost bar that’s haunted in it’s across the river from Cincinnati. How far is Christian?

 

Nori Reed  14:55

It’s pretty far. I don’t know this ghost bar, but I’d love to know more.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  14:58

ghost bar. And, yeah. You ever going back there to do you have any family still there?

 

Nori Reed  15:02

I don’t know.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  15:03

Everybody got the heck out.

 

Nori Reed  15:04

They got out of there, yeah.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  15:06

So you went to Ohio, and that’s when things got a little more liberal.

 

Nori Reed  15:10

They got more liberal there. I came out as gay. It was little pit stop, because we all got, a lot of us do a little pit stop, yeah, we do gay first, because it’s like, I’m gay. It was like, okay, what’s the feedback here? Yeah, we’re clear when we’re good. I’m trans, yeah, it’s, you know, but no, I at that point, I didn’t even know I was trans. I really just thought I was a gay guy.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  15:31

Yeah, aAnd then where did you move after college?

 

Nori Reed  15:35

After college, I went to New York, and that’s when I started. I worked at a community health center that was LGBT focused, you know, Callan, Lord, no, it’s like a LGBT Health Center. Oh, God, and there, no, I started working with trans people for the first time, and it was my first kind of education introduction.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  15:56

But not like owning the trans label yet, but not even.

 

Nori Reed  16:01

I was meeting these people, and I had such an adoration and respect, and it started to feel a little suspicious of like, why am I so enamored by, by, by trans people? And it’s not sexual. There’s no, you know, it’s not like, it’s just like I have such a deep, profound respect. And then, I mean, slowly I had to, you know, start exploring that with with a therapist. Okay, so you had therapy, you had therapy, and then was very like, Oh, I think I’m trans, and I will say that, that, um, there you are.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  16:33

You are trans. You know that Tiktok, audio, okay, well, there we go.

 

Nori Reed  16:39

But, like, this therapist was actually not supportive.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  16:42

Oh.

 

Nori Reed  16:43

Isn’t that crazy?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  16:44

In New York City?

 

Nori Reed  16:45

In New York City, she was like, I don’t think you are. Oh. And I was like, Oh, well, I think I am. And she was like, no, let’s have her on the Dylan out. Can you imagine she’s here and everyone she’s here, she’s here. Dr

 

Dylan Mulvaney  16:58

Phil, wait, did you know Maury povidge died when, I think, like, last year, did he what somebody I was going through celebrities recently, and he was on that list. And I was shocked, because I think this would have been such a Maury povidge moment. Yeah, she came out, and you started fighting also with us, like, that’s a man, exactly. And then if you were to punch her, it would like we’re not supposed to, because we’re trans women.

 

Nori Reed  17:23

We can’t punch people.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  17:25

We can’t punch anyone.

 

Nori Reed  17:31

Dylan, okay, Dylan, here, let’s give us a platform.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  17:34

Let’s get this right here at the Dylan Hour, I never said anything was true. I never said we’re fact checking. Oh, oh, my god. Jerry Springer.

 

Nori Reed  17:45

Did he die?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  17:47

Okay, Maury is alive and well, Jerry Springer is dead.

 

Nori Reed  17:54

I like that. This podcast is like breaking news from like, four months ago. It’s like breaking four months ago.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  17:59

And I think this could have been even longer than that. Actually, Jerry Springer has passed, and I should.

 

Nori Reed  18:05

We take a moment? Yeah, okay, in […]

 

Dylan Mulvaney  18:07

The that’s all he deserves.

 

Nori Reed  18:13

Wow.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  18:14

Love you chair. How about this therapist? Did you say, like, once you said that I’m trans, and she’s like, No, you aren’t. Did you run for the hills and get out of there?

 

Nori Reed  18:22

Well, I guess where I ran to San Francisco. Oh, well, I went to San Francisco. Castro, well, I lived in the East Bay, but I mean, it in my brain. So when I was like, little I had seen something on like TV about a trans woman living in San Francisco, so that’s where you thought you and it always was in there. It was in there. And I was like, Well, let me go to San Francisco, and I went and I went to school to be a therapist. That’s where I went for, like, what degree for a marriage and family therapist. And I went for one year, and I dropped out.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  18:55

Did you ever get the chance to really, like, work it out on someone?

 

Nori Reed  18:58

Well, here’s the thing, the reason why I dropped out on the remix right now, let’s work on the remix with my old therapist.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  19:05

Do you see my my feet slowly crouching like to play in your lap?

 

Nori Reed  19:10

I love that.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  19:11

Okay, cool. I know you’re tired. So you can also do the same if you want. You don’t have to open your eyes. You can just sleep it.

 

Nori Reed  19:16

Oh no,  I would never. So basically, what made me drop out? Well, I mean, there’s a number of things, but when I what, what I hit was we had reached a point in our education where we need to start practicing therapy on each other. Okay, so we split into groups, and I was with a very lovely white woman named Michelle. Hi, Michelle, who has a trust fund. And so basically.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  19:39

We don’t like they don’t like that sis, they don’t like the SIS. They want just rich.

 

Nori Reed  19:43

Oh, she’s rich, she’s rich, she’s rich. And basically what happened is that we were in groups. Our professor said, It’s our first time doing therapy. Let’s keep it light. Let’s keep it nothing too crazy, right? Professor says, Go. Michelle. Y’all immediately is in tears, and she goes, I was a preemie. And I was like, oh.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  20:10

Funny girl.

 

Nori Reed  20:10

And she’s, I was so small, um. And I was like, okay, um, all right. And she was like, my purpose in life is preemie justice. And I thought to myself, I said, I I think we’re doing a lot for those little guys, actually, because we put, we put them in the boxes and we put stuff in there for them.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  20:36

Claw machine almost, yeah, dropping it in.

 

Nori Reed  20:38

Should we drop stuff in there, and that was my breaking point, because I realized, if I were to go through with this and do the years of training and get all this debt, and I have to do this job, the way I would make my living is listening to women like Michelle, and I’d have to sit there and give real compassion for her preemie problems. Even though she was so rich, so wealthy, so fine, she had to find something. She needed something. And I was like, preemie justice. Like, this was during, like, when Black Lives Matters, was like, really, like, in the forefront of our society. And like, it,was, like, a little offensive, a little bit.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  21:22

Somewhere, right now, Michelle, you know what? Let’s pour one out for Michelle’s therapist, right? That’s who we need. That’s actually the special guest that should walk through the door.

 

Nori Reed  21:32

Imagining us have like my countertops are dirty, you know, just stuff like that, my best friend’s husband, yeah, yeah.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  21:42

So that was kind of your then you said, Oh, I can get up on stage and tell people about Michelle.

 

Nori Reed  21:48

Well, yeah, so I dropped out because I realized I had a moment of oh, and it corresponded with me being like I, because at that point, oh, I skipped a little step there. When I was in school, I identified as non binary.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  22:00

Oh T same. I had a lot of stops along the journey, so many coming outs. It’s embarrassing, right? So embarrassing. I, like, went.

 

Nori Reed  22:07

To my first Sephora. I got makeup. I was like, I’m non binary. I like, yeah. So I was like, take you to that section. Yeah. I was a gay guy with with makeup. House labs, yeah, yeah. House labs, Ariana Grande stuff. Oh yeah. She loves non binary people, all that stuff. And then when I dropped out of school, I said, You know what, I’m actually a trans woman, let’s do this. And I started doing all the stuff.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  22:31

When did, when did you get to LA, this amazing city, yeah, preemies, probably.

 

Nori Reed  22:37

Yes, well, I started doing stand up in actually, this is, so, this is actually kind of cool. The way I started stand up is I did a program for trans women of color to learn how to do stand up. Oh, which could only be the Bay Area. That’s so, that’s so Bay Area. Yes, because, guess who’s my classmate who Nava Mao.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  22:55

Shut up.

 

Nori Reed  22:56

Yes, from Baby reindeer. Baby reindeer. Oh, I just met her, and she’s so lovely, so amazing. She’s one of my she’s one of my oldest friends.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  23:03

She want to do stand up before act eight like she did stand up. Oh, she does it all.

 

Nori Reed  23:09

She’s hilarious. And then she also just went in more dramatic route. But she, like, is literally incredible. And so we met at in that program. That’s how I became friends, and we, like, stayed in touch or whatever, but yeah, and then you came down here, came down here. So basically, what’s your soul? Illuminati, be honest, uh, well, yes, okay, they haven’t let me in. They said, I talk a little too much. You’re, you’re better about that. You’ve got more of a, like, a pride you, you keep your stuff on stage. And yeah, well, they only let in, like, I think, like three trans people a year you?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  23:40

Laverne Nava, yeah, so that was you, actually, you got her in.

 

Nori Reed  23:45

I did and but next year, I think it’s you. Well, I’m trying. I’ve been backpedaling a little bit, but now that I’ve got a podcast, they’re getting, they’re getting a little nervous the Illuminati. Yeah, they being Illuminati.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  23:56

They sent out a they sent out I’m surprised that you’re on with us right now. They said, Don’t go on the Dylan Hour.

 

Nori Reed  24:02

They emailed me, but I said, I’m doing it. I’m going that is very sweet of you, of course, well, but the what happened was, I was doing stand up, uh, loving it, but also not really catching a break, just kind of like, kind of not going anywhere with it. And then I got an email from Amy Poehler that was like, I saw your comedy, Illuminati, I saw your comedy on YouTube, and I want you to open for me for cluster fest, shut up, and then I performed for like, 10,000 people, and that’s what changed my life. And how long ago was that? That was 2000 I’m gonna say 18 or 19, I can’t remember.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  24:39

And did you always want to write, like, was that okay, because now you’re like, writing on television shows?

 

Nori Reed  24:44

Yeah, so, I mean, I love stand up, but I also was like, I definitely want to be a TV writer. And then, yeah, that ravens, almost my first gig.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  24:53

Yeah, and like, would you ever like, do you would you want to write something that you also act in?

 

Nori Reed  24:59

Yeah, I mean, I’d love, I would love that. I mean, my heart is I kind of like, love messy, problematic characters, and I would love a trans character who is like, kind of sucks.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  25:11

I could not agree more. And I think people are so scared to, like, not only like, put trans people in anything right now, but like, make us look a little messy. I think, like, I think it’d be great. I want to be in a horror film where I’m the first girl dead, because then all the Republicans get to, you know, they’ll love it, yeah. So my fans will be like, she’s in a movie. So I really, and maybe we make me really problematic too, so that, yeah, every, everyone’s, you know, you know what, gay, uh.

 

Nori Reed  25:39

Trans, Republican yes. Oh, hello, Hollywood.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  25:45

I wonder, would it be like to make money off of like, the far right and telling people that trans people are are bad, that I could right? Isn’t that so sad?

 

Nori Reed  25:55

There’s such a weird trans and influencer pipeline to being conservative, at a certain point, they’ve mined all of the stuff that they can talk about, and then they go, I guess I’m now far right, and it’s crazy. Yes, there’s all these dolls on the internet who are like, I have guns. And it’s like, what are you.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  26:12

I know, doing? I did one beer ad, and it could have gone that way.

 

Nori Reed  26:17

Thank God the backlash. Thank God.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  26:20

That’s what really put put a stop to it was, I think that’s where we were headed for.

 

Nori Reed  26:26

I am that is so funny, that is beyond funny, wow.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  26:31

But it is. It’s like, I get really sad seeing these, like, tick tock or, like, sometimes I’ll have, like, my tick tock dolls that I’ll be like, Oh my god, I love her. And then I’ll, like, see a video or two, or I’m like, oh, that’s an interesting take, and then I’m like, oh, no, I gotta unfollow.

 

Nori Reed  26:45

It’s so sad because then they start off as kind of funny. You’re like, okay, I’m like, you’re funny, yeah? And then it’s just this, like, trickled, and then suddenly they are far right? Unfortunately, yeah, that must be kind of lonely. It must be lonely. And you’re right, like, at the end of the end of the day, when they’re, like, taking their makeup off of the mirror, like, what are they thinking about themselves, just like, looking in the mirror, you know what I mean.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  27:07

Yeah, well, they’ve got, maybe they got Trump’s number in their phone, and that’s worth it.

 

Nori Reed  27:12

They’re so happy they’re illuminated. We were like, they’re so upset, like they’re they’re at night, just going, like, a $2 million I know.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  27:17

But then who pays that? Not Neutrogena.

 

Nori Reed  27:20

Hmm I mean, NRA. I guess they get some NRA. Maybe that’s really got to get to the pod. I’d love some NRA money. You ever do brand deals I have before you? Well, I don’t know what I would I don’t know.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  27:34

I’m really into vision. So if you want to make one, and we could put brand deals on.

 

Nori Reed  27:39

Yes, I would love to be the face of ketamine.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  27:43

That’s what it feels like, right? Well, you are the first true public face of Illuminati. Well, yeah, the K do. People call it K, sure. I’m only going on the I feel like letters are such a thing right now. People call it K, um, and oh, like, sweat, like, yeah, people do K at the sweat tour kind of vibe. But I think, like, truly, like, if you wanted, what is your favorite brand that, if you did get to represent them, what would you want? That’s such a that’s such a good question. Look down the barrel and ask, yeah, that’s you.

 

Nori Reed  28:18

Let’s see here.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  28:21

Probably nothing related to children, since we’re trans, and probably nothing sports related,

 

Nori Reed  28:26

You know what? No Nike.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  28:29

Nike.

 

Nori Reed  28:29

I think I should be the face of Nike.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  28:32

I think you should too.

 

Nori Reed  28:33

I tried to do a sports bra, kind of like it went south. Can you imagine, like a, like a commercial that has a seriousness of a Nike commercial, yes, where I’m trying to run, I’m trying to run, I’m jogging, I’m I can barely run, like, I’d say, point one miles.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  28:50

I’d like to creative direct, because I think it should be in a really dark sound stage, you know, where there’s just like a little stream of light that moves as you run, very dramatic and but in it, you know, they would kind of have to keep pivoting the light based on you not really knowing, yes, the direction.

 

Nori Reed  29:07

And I think it kind of start a conversation. I don’t know what that conversation is.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  29:13

Let’s give them something to talk about. Let’s give you harmonized something to talk about nice. I’ll tell so back to trans rich. What do you like to spend your money on?

 

Nori Reed  29:29

It used to be bags, but then I got bored. I don’t do that. No, designer I used to do designer bags. I don’t do that. No more. It feels I don’t it doesn’t do anything for me. Wanna buy a Subaru? Is that a car? Yeah, okay, I’ve always wanted a Subaru, and I’m I think there’s something psychological that’s happening. And I think it might be that I’m coming out as a lesbian. I was gonna say, it sounds like you’re a mom, a gay a lesbian Mom, is what I’m giving.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  29:54

A lesbian mom, and that’s who drives Subarus. Yeah? Well, I would say lesbian. I don’t even want to. Get a picture of a Subaru. But how would like what draws someone to that?

 

Nori Reed  30:05

I would say being gay. Okay, I would say being gay. And in Massachusetts is a very I think that’s the epicenter of Subaru.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  30:17

And are you in Massachusetts?

 

Nori Reed  30:19

I could be.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  30:20

That you could take the Subaru to that you probably would drive off the lot to Massachusetts.

 

Nori Reed  30:25

That’s my happy place. My happy place is Northampton. That’s where Smith College is, and it’s just a bunch of queer people living in the woods. I’m nervous that I don’t know how to say, Massachusetts, you don’t, you really don’t. Massachusetts.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  30:44

Massachusetts.

 

Nori Reed  30:46

Oh, my God, fuck.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  30:47

Oh, this is bad. First Jerry Springer, and now Boston. Oh, you’re, you’re losing demographics of Massachusetts. They’re gonna try.

 

Nori Reed  30:57

I think you, you gotta go choose it. I like that. You say it in a way where you’re like, scared. You’re like, Massachusetts,

 

Dylan Mulvaney  31:05

This is it. I’m fuck. Just follow the followers in that area. Just went down, so you were on bags. You now in a car.

 

Nori Reed  31:14

Yeah, I’m gonna get a Subaru. I love traveling. I now I can’t fly economy anymore. I can’t do it. It’s I can’t do it no more. Never been able to sleep, sitting up. I can’t do it. I only, can only do business. And if that makes anyone angry, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  31:30

She’s writing characters for our people.

 

Nori Reed  31:31

I work so hard. I work a lot.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  31:35

Bringing trans to the mainstream in a way that deserves a little extra comfort room.

 

Nori Reed  31:40

Thank you so much. I’m also like, fat, and I feel like, as a fat person, that’s, that’s justice, like flying in first class.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  31:47

And do you always have, like, do you always take a nap?

 

Nori Reed  31:50

No one applauded, no one, no one. No one claps. I said, I say that. No one collapsed crazy. You do? Do you always take a nap on there? Yeah. Love it. Something I’ve noticed is flight attendants. I’m noticing sometimes they don’t like that I’m there. I can feel it. They’re like, you’re not supposed to be here to give you the champagne, but they have to be so nice to me. And there’s something about that that I kind of love, that I can tell that they don’t want to.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  32:15

Then there’s gonna be a day too, when like, one of your like followers is like, the flight attendant, and she’s gonna be like, we made it. No reason, no worries up here.

 

Nori Reed  32:23

That’s wait. That’s a I love that I can’t wait for that to happen. But the last fight I took was in front of me, and when she when the plane landed, she must have taken, I mean, alleged, I don’t know.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  32:38

Hey, I think, let’s just be really honest already there. There’s no sort of fact checking on on the Dylan hour today.

 

Nori Reed  32:46

Let’s just say this, I don’t know what occurred. All I know is that upon landing, the flight attendant was trying to shake awake and couldn’t get her to wake up, and was panicking, and then at the last possible second, did wake up and was very angry about what was happening, but the flight attendant was terrified that she was.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  33:08

Dead, whereas if she was trying to wake you up and you didn’t wake up, she wouldn’t keep shoving?

 

Nori Reed  33:14

I don’t think so. I think it’d be like, Okay, this, this makes sense.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  33:19

I always try to, I always try to, even if I’m not sleeping, I try to act like I’m still sleeping, and then, because I want to just lay the entire time. But then they always, 20 minutes early, they make you put the seat down.

 

Nori Reed  33:31

Yes, they always, they love and they love.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  33:35

Waking you up. Oh, they love, you know, when you got a little bit of the foot rest, and you don’t think they’re gonna see it, because you put the blanket over it, and they go, then, no, they don’t even say anything. They just press the fucking button. They love to press it. Oh, they press it without consent.

 

Nori Reed  33:49

They don’t even give you the option of doing it. They go, and they look at you today. They love that also. You know what a lot of gratitude to all the flight attendants out there who are serving us, and thank you so much. We apologize. Are you a Delta girl? Yes, me too. Delta one. I’m obsessed with, how about where was your lot? Didn’t you just do a big trip to like Japan? I did, I did, I did a show, and I also just traveled. You did comedy, I did, I had a really I love performing in Japan. I do it at a club that’s like expats mixed with people who are Japanese, who, like, live in Japan, and it’s always such a fun, like, mix of culture. The last time I did a show, there was one gay Japanese guy in the audience, and I got to ask a lot of questions about.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  34:36

Trans just fishing around, checking the time.

 

Nori Reed  34:41

I got to ask a lot of questions about just like trans people in Japan, and got out good info.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  34:45

What did we hear?

 

Nori Reed  34:47

So I was like, I was like, Are there trans people here? And he was like, Yes. And I was like, Well, what do they do? And he was like, clown.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  34:55

Like, actual clowning?

 

Nori Reed  34:56

Yeah he was like, they’re like, celebrities and like clowns.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  34:59

But um.

 

Nori Reed  35:00

Which I was like, hello.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  35:03

Hi um, here is, but there’s no, like, you’re not going to like trade like, there’s not like, trans clubs or anywhere. Like, like,

 

Nori Reed  35:11

No, it’s not like that. It’s very underground. I mean, there are passport stuff. Like, are they cool, though, like, or does it so.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  35:19

Okay.

 

Nori Reed  35:20

Yeah, no, I think they are liberal in that way. It’s just that there isn’t it. There’s not, it’s not kind of in the did

 

Dylan Mulvaney  35:27

you go to any of like the the SPAS or the bath houses?  Well, I Well, first of all, I have a tattoo, so that was already working 100% and then I also have girl dick, which is also an issue in some places. Yeah, most for but have you ever been a Wii spa? I haven’t, but I will not love it, but now I don’t, I don’t go because I don’t feel but aren’t they?

 

Nori Reed  35:52

I feel like they’re they’ve been traditionally very supportive of trans people, really. Yeah. So there was a trans woman that was verbally attacked by another woman and the Wii spaw was on the trans woman’s side.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  36:03

Oh, okay, that’s good, yeah. Okay, we spa and we’ll do ketamine.

 

Nori Reed  36:08

Yeah? I think it’s the place to go for queer people. They are very queer, yeah.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  36:13

Oh, I think this is a really good time to segue to our next segment […] what a girl wants? Nori Reed, what do you want in your life right now? Could be anything?

 

Nori Reed  36:27

I mean, I think it’s very cliche, but I think dating is always really hard as a trans girl, I’d speak on it. I would love to do have a partner. I think every time I go into a podcast now, I look directly into camera and I say, if you’re very nice person, if you’re kind person, reach out. Because I, you know, I really am open to that.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  36:48

That is, oh, my God, I want to Dylan Hour to just strictly be a place where I invite people that I think deserve to be in serious relationships, to be like, to say that also. And if you want me, that’s also probably an option. And so do you think DM is the way? DM message request? Yeah. And if, if you want both of us at the same time, that’s a lot of it’s a little extra, yeah, possible, but we’ll do it. We’ll do it. We’ll travel. We’ll travel friendly, business class, the one, that’s the one. Um, and okay, so a relationship, okay. And I just started reading this book called the rules. The rules. Have you heard of this? Oh, what are the rules? It’s, like, deeply problematic. So it’s a dating book from, like, I think, like the 80s and two women wrote it. Can I talk to you through something the first one like, be CIS, like, be a cis woman. That’s how, you know, they definitely did not write it for trans women, but tell me, you can’t, like, if we’re in a bar dancing, you can’t go up to a guy first. Okay, you can’t call first. Oh, yeah, okay. You can’t have sex till after the third or fourth date. That doesn’t make sense. You can’t talk too much. Oh, okay. And you can’t, um, really, like, be yourself too much.

 

Nori Reed  38:05

Never, don’t do that.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  38:06

Yeah, so I’m gonna start trying that.

 

Nori Reed  38:08

Yeah, will you do in a practice? Okay, okay, I’ll so I’ll be the um, I’ll be the man.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  38:16

Okay, hi, oh shit. I wasn’t supposed to say anything first, okay.

 

Nori Reed  38:21

First of all, it it’s over. It’s already over. It’s broken. Okay, so that’s okay, hey.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  38:29

I’m sis.

 

Nori Reed  38:32

I like that.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  38:35

I can’t have sex with you.

 

Nori Reed  38:37

What about the second date?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  38:40

No.

 

Nori Reed  38:44

Will you marry me?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  38:46

And that is how the rules work. It worked, um, but okay, so that girl, I would like a relationship too, but my what a girl wants was different. It was, I want to make cruises chic again. Oh, do you cruise? Like? What kind of cruising?

 

Nori Reed  39:05

Sorry, I meant boat. No, I’ve never done a cruise. I’ve always wanted to.

 

Speaker 1  39:14

Should we go on a single school? No, I’ve got an idea. What if I think I don’t know if we’re at this level of celebrity, but what if we hosted a singles cruise yes for trans chasers, yes and for trans women. And trans chasers has to be probably celebrity cruise lines or Royal Caribbean. Feels also kind of transcoded for trans women and the people that love them, yes, that want them, that will obviously, trans women, they don’t have to pay. And then, no, the people that want to date us have to pay double.

 

Nori Reed  39:46

Yes, and is there a vetting process to make sure they’re not? Like crazy, um, no.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  39:53

That doesn’t sound we can’t and I think we have to do a Casino Night. It’s like a bond kind of Casino Night, right.

 

Nori Reed  40:00

Okay, wait, I kind of love this, by the way.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  40:03

Well, I was just thinking about, like, cruises, I think, you know, used to be these really kind of, like hot, fun things. You’ve never done one.

 

Nori Reed  40:03

I’ve never but I’m interested. I’m curious. I’m cruise curious.

 

Speaker 1  40:09

Oh yeah, I used to, I Well, the last time was on a cruise. Me and my stepdad had a big blowout over the late night dessert bar.

 

Nori Reed  40:24

And what was that fight about?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  40:25

So it was 12:30 at night, and he was like, You need to go to bed. You can’t be doing the dessert bar. And I said, fuck you. Oh, my God.

 

Nori Reed  40:25

Uh, oh, that’s a great question. I would say, maybe the night, still, I don’t know.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  40:25

I think it really had to do with me not wanting him to marry my mom. But instead, it was that it was like 12:30 and at midnight, after midnight, how do you is it 12:30 at night or in the morning?

 

Nori Reed  40:52

Oh my god.  How old were you?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  40:55

I was 11 or 12.

 

Nori Reed  40:56

So he was right.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  40:57

So he was right, yeah, haven’t been our crew since.

 

Nori Reed  41:02

Oh, no. So is that like? Because it’s like trauma.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  41:05

Yeah, but I think now I can have sex and drink alcohol, which I’ve heard is very good to do on cruises. Might be very empowering and very healing, the Titanic.

 

Nori Reed  41:15

The one that’s going down, oh, I don’t know. I don’t well, no, I.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  41:21

You know, it’d also be really funny, a voyage down to the Titanic and one of those submersibles, and then we die. It’s you, me, Laverne, Cox, Nava, Michael Kane, because she can sing, yeah? Kim Patrick, would be funny.

 

Nori Reed  41:35

But like, what happens when the world’s greatest trans minds are destroyed at once.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  41:40

You know, who’s paying for that voyage?

 

Nori Reed  41:44

The far right? They want that so, and they want that.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  41:48

Actually, I’m nervous about this cruise now too we can’t have too many of us dolls on this cruise.

 

Nori Reed  41:48

Is okay because there’s with modern times, there’s if the Titanic had, like, helicopters and stuff, they’d be okay, because the helicopters would go, whoo. You know, like, take them. Are there helicopters on cruises these days? There could, yes, for trans cruises, probably, I think they’d have them around. They’re around. They’re around. There’s, in modern times, just a way to get us off of that cruise if it’s going down, you know.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  42:16

well, and if not, you can you swim? Yes, okay, we’re gonna be fine. Jackie rose, fine. We’ll find a door. I think we’re fine.

 

Nori Reed  42:23

I think no submerged. I think submersibl, no.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  42:25

I’m just now getting a little nervous about us allowing anyone on this trans cruise, because so it’s just us on the boat. It might just be us. Okay. What if it was all just trans people? Probably

 

Nori Reed  42:36

Better than the chasers being there.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  42:39

I know maybe, but if they paid for it, we’ll pay for it. You know what? That’s our you know what? We’re our version of activism.

 

Nori Reed  42:48

We’re going to be paying for a cruise for trans people.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  42:51

Is it going to be this year? Maybe not.

 

Nori Reed  42:54

No.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  42:55

Next.

 

Nori Reed  42:56

Probably not either.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  42:57

2044.

 

Nori Reed  42:59

Hopefully.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  42:59

If we sell some shit, then maybe, yeah, face of Nike. What if we got Nike to sponsor? I hope they would. I’ll reach out to a beer brand.

 

Nori Reed  43:10

Yeah, okay, do you? Can you still do that next?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  44:47

So here at the Dylan Hour, we’ve honestly, we’ve done a lot of oversharing already. Yeah, I would say.

 

Nori Reed  44:53

I would say so

 

Dylan Mulvaney  44:54

But we have a segment called Overshare, Don’t Care, and it is a light. Round of 10 questions. Okay, there’s gonna be a timer going under you. You’ve got two minutes. Are you ready to answer them? Rapid fire.

 

Nori Reed  45:07

Yes.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  45:08

She sipped the yuzu and ready go. Pre show ritual?

 

Nori Reed  45:14

Makeup.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  45:15

After party, or curl up in bed?

 

Nori Reed  45:18

McDonald’s and then curl up in bed.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  45:19

New York or LA?

 

Nori Reed  45:21

LA.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  45:22

Psychologist or psychiatrist or psychic?

 

Nori Reed  45:25

Psychic.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  45:25

See a movie in a theater or watch it at home?

 

Nori Reed  45:28

Theater, baby. I just got a list.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  45:30

Call or text?

 

Nori Reed  45:31

Text.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  45:32

Gay bar or straight?

 

Nori Reed  45:33

Gay bar.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  45:34

Tik Tok, or Instagram?

 

Nori Reed  45:35

Tik Tok. I hate Instagram. Makes me I can’t do Instagram right now.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  45:38

Crowd work or written material?

 

Nori Reed  45:40

Oooh, crowd work, when I should be doing more written material.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  45:44

Do you have a Hear me out crush?

 

Nori Reed  45:46

Hear me out. JD, Vance, I’m kidding.

 

Speaker 1  45:51

As we’re sitting on this couch, he loved this velvet okay, that was all 10. That was crazy. No, give me a real Hear me out.

 

Nori Reed  46:02

Oh, real. Hear me out. I’m the one who’s never ashamed of like my actual crushes.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  46:13

You love, who you love, I love, who I love. I was watching Halloweentown. I thought the skeleton looked pretty hot, there’s something really hot about a skeleton, but you watched Halloween Town recent?

 

Nori Reed  46:22

Not recently.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  46:23

Yeah, you think you know what it is, and then you re watch it, and you said, Oh, I really would love to re watch it. Then you forget everything. Immediately after it ends.

 

Nori Reed  46:30

I just burped because of the and I’m so sorry. I love that was crazy. Use God is going crazy.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  46:39

Where people burped? I think that that was crazy. It all flies here. Jerry Springer is with us. So back to also one of the questions I asked you, did you actually go to a psychic?

 

Nori Reed  46:49

I love psychics. My grandmother was a psychic, really like truly. She was a Korean shaman, a mu Dong shit I know.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  46:58

Wait tell you don’t understand psychics are my favorite thing in the entire world.

 

Nori Reed  47:01

I think that’s why I’m trans. I’m not even kidding, because it skips a gender. So my mother never embraced it, uh huh, and in that tradition, if a generation doesn’t embrace it, it gets extra, double the next one. And wudangs are basically transgender. They’re, they’re, they don’t have any gender. They’re, they transcend gender. They’re like everything.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  47:22

Okay, so your grandma, yeah, could see things.

 

Nori Reed  47:26

She did like whenever people wanted to speak to their like loved ones who passed, oh, she’d be the medium for that.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  47:33

What is my grandpa saying right now?

 

Nori Reed  47:35

He’s saying that, don’t go in the submersible. He’s saying something about it not being safe. He said something about don’t do G anymore. And I think he said something Also, one last thing, it’s, um, do do another beer commercial?

 

Speaker 1  48:00

Oh, that’s that sounds you actually want? He wants you to do another beer commercial. Yeah, he’s, you know what? He always was a very stubborn person that that kind of pushed us to do things.

 

Nori Reed  48:11

I think he wants a different one, maybe a European brand, is what I’m getting. I’m getting European beer, yeah, Heineken, or.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  48:21

Sshe’s good. I’m just curious how, if the therapy session was 700 how much your psychic services are?

 

Nori Reed  48:27

That’s kind of like, we don’t even talk about it. No, it’s one of those. I just said.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  48:31

But have you now gone to any of those, like, those expensive psychics here?

 

Nori Reed  48:35

No, but I have friends who like, like, they have like, Lana Del Rey’s psychic.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  48:40

Yeah, I got the Kardashians. What? Yeah.

 

Nori Reed  48:44

Oh my god, what is this one? Well, Lana Del Rey has a psychic who lives here in LA and I went to her house for a party because she has really cool clients. But, um, yeah, they make a lot of money. Oh, my God, I should just do that. Why am I doing this? Well, not that’s Podcast. I’m so sorry, no, but you shouldn’t there.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  49:04

I was thinking too. I don’t really think therapy is necessary if you’re seeing a psychic regularly.

 

Nori Reed  49:10

I agree. I would agree well.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  49:16

okay, if psychics could administer hormones, it would be over for all of us.

 

Nori Reed  49:22

that’s very, that’s so that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. If I like the psychics giving hormones, she’s so funny.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  49:29

100 milligrams. […] she’s just grabbing her teeth. This is a visual podcast, yeah, those of us who do want to watch.

 

Nori Reed  49:38

Progesterone,  we’re gonna do progesterone. Progesterone fucked me up. I couldn’t I don’t do progesterone.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  49:43

Maybe so sad.

 

Nori Reed  49:44

Yeah, God.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  49:46

Okay, we have our last segment here at the Dylan. Hour is last call confessions. We have a call from a lovely person who wants a little advice, or they want to tell us something I’m excited and do. You being a therapist, this feels really correct.

 

Sender 1  50:04

Hello, honey hi so I’m 24 and I was just living in the mountains. I was having like, this really beautiful relationship and this wonderful time, like I was, like, living the dream out in basically the middle of nowhere with my boyfriend, and, like, really trying to build my life out with him. And I found out that he was cheating on me, and I left him living with my parents back in the Midwest, which is not the ideal situation. And I’m kind of in this place where I had, like, an idea of where my life was going and my path, and it just totally, I feel like the rug got pulled out from under me, and I don’t know what to do or where I’m going, like, the world is my oyster, but that’s also so paralyzing sometimes to have all the options. And so I guess my question or my advice would be like, how do I make a decision on what to do next? Like, how, how do I move forward? Yeah, thank you, love you.

 

Nori Reed  51:28

Love ya. Wow. I have real advice. Okay, give it one of the best things I’ve ever heard is make a decision and then make it the right decision.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  51:41

Oh, so it’s, there’s no like, you commit, you.

 

Nori Reed  51:46

You have a curiosity, you follow that curiosity, and then that’s the right curiosity. It’s there is no right this. There’s no right decision, wrong decision. That I like, we like to think about life that way because it gives us a little more sense of control. But in reality, it’s kind of like we got to do what excites us, and then we do it with everything we have. Yeah, and so I feel like she’s looking at life in a way, or, I’m sorry I don’t know their gender, they’re looking at life in a way that is. It sounds very scary, because it’s just what’s wide open space. But I would just what I would say to this person is to what are you create curious about right now? And follow that follow that curiosity.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  52:29

Yeah, that was good advice. Wow. Good therapist. I would say that what I’m excited about with for this person is that they still have this sense of optimism. Because I think when something like shit like that happens and it sounds like they have children, maybe, did you hear that piece? Oh, I No, no. I thought they moved to their kids. Wow okay, so ADHD rampant.

 

Nori Reed  52:52

I or you’re a psychic, and you’re gonna picking up on something like.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  52:56

They’re having a child. I really love that they are able to be excited about this next chapter.

 

Nori Reed  53:05

Yes.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  53:05

And the fact that they’re, you know, they’re ready for whatever it’s going to be. I love the fact that the decision making, can it, can you go with the right decision? Because I get so tripped up on same it’s bad. Yeah, I’m an overthinker. Yes, don’t overthink and, oh, the Midway they’re in the Midwest right now. Yeah, with good parents, good and don’t rush into maybe to the next relationship.

 

Nori Reed  53:32

I was thinking the same thing too, that maybe it might be but also you can’t. We have, we have no control over love. Are good. If a good man or person comes that person’s life, then, you know, be it, so be it. I would also say, based off what you’re saying, This person said, The world is my oyster, almost like in a joking way, no, honey, I would really claim that claim I love oysters.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  53:59

Oh, me too.

 

Nori Reed  53:59

I love oysters.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  54:01

Could we have them on our cruise?

 

Nori Reed  54:03

I that sounds a little dangerous.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  54:05

Also, the stomach by chasers on a cruise is so crazy to think about. Hey, even if you aren’t trans, this person can come on the cruise.

 

Nori Reed  54:14

I would like this person to come in 2044 actually, what the right decision is, yes, in 2044.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  54:22

2044 that’s the first thing they’re gonna do after this breakup.

 

Nori Reed  54:26

I like that.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  54:28

It’s so good. Nori Reid, this was one of the funnest hours of my life.

 

Nori Reed  54:33

Oh, my God.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  54:34

I can’t wait to hang out with you more and please. What? Where can people find you? What are you excited about in your life right now?

 

Nori Reed  54:41

Yeah, well, you know, I still perform all around LA transit girls. Transit girl you’re on, and your partner on that is Hayden Johnson. She’s actually the one that that stays with me when I do my ketamine. So she’s a dear, dear friend, yes, but I’m performing all around town. If you want to check out a show. So follow me on Instagram. Nori Reed so that you can find out when

 

Dylan Mulvaney  55:03

The sport shows Tik Tok, which you famously said you like way more than Instagram.

 

Nori Reed  55:07

Well, I like watching Tik Tok more. I’m more active on Instagram, yeah, but I just, I also Instagram is not doing it for me, right? These days. Interesting. How do you.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  55:16

Feel the opposite? So, okay, Tiktok, I feel like the algorithm is not on my side right now. Okay and I feel like, because it’s a lot of, I’m seeing a lot of, like, Grey’s Anatomy episodes from, like, maybe 10 years ago, you know, in 50 parts.

 

Nori Reed  55:30

Oh, yes. And do we watch them all? I do.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  55:32

I do, yeah. And it’s really frustrating, because I wanted to go on there to see the, you know, my little beauty influencers that I follow don’t see them anymore. Only Grey’s Anatomy. But Instagram, I love a picture. I love a beautiful picture. I love a little story. They don’t feel as permanent as Tiktok, which is nice and true. Tiktok stories just don’t hit the same way for me, yeah, but they can find you on there.

 

Nori Reed  55:57

Find one there. Find on wherever you. Find me.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  55:59

Find you.

 

Nori Reed  56:00

I’m on there. Your veil, yeah.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  56:02

Everyone, this has been an amazing episode of The Dylan hour. We hope you Subscribe and find us on all the things. And I feel therapized Good. You got to give me that? That psychics number.

 

Nori Reed  56:14

I’d be happy too.

 

Dylan Mulvaney  56:15

Yeah, okay. We love you, especially the flight attendants. To Jerry Springer’s family. We send you love and condolences. The Illuminati is probably not real. Well, we don’t know. Actually, I don’t know. I just get nervous about them.

 

Nori Reed  56:28

Can we get a close up?

 

Dylan Mulvaney  56:30

Okay, that was I’ll do the sound effect one more time.

 

CREDITS 56:36

Want even more of the Dylan Hour? Now is a great time to subscribe to Lemonada Premium. You’ll get bonus content, outtakes and more from conversations with fabulous guests like Joe Locke and Dylan’s dad, Jim Mulvaney. Just hit the subscribe button on Apple podcasts, or for all other podcast apps, head to  lemonadapremium.com to subscribe. That’s lemonadapremium.com.  The Dylan Hour is a production of Lemonada Media. Our supervising producer is Jess […]. Producers are Carmen Laura,Kegan Zema and Aria Bracci. Audio and video production and engineering by Jordan Lynn, Ivan Kuraev and Brian Castillo. Our SVP of weekly programming is Steve Nelson. Our theme song was composed by Daniel Mertzloft and arranged by Aaron Kaufman. Special thanks to Megan Strickland. Executive producers, Stephanie Wittels Wachs, Jessica Cordova Kramer, Katherine Law and Dylan Mulvaney. You can find us online @lemonadamedia, and you can find Dylan on Tiktok and Instagram @DylanMulvaney. Follow The Dylan Hour wherever you get your podcasts, or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.