Rory spackles Sarah’s hole, again. Plus, she helps a dad raise his rambunctious teen, shares her favorite music to wallow in, and learns a more empathetic phrase to say to someone who’s been through hell.

Show notes:

• Sarah’s “Wallow” playlist: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/wallow/pl.u-kve5tK9J72

• Political videos: The Great Schlep + Why Sarah Silverman Took Her Money Out of Her Bank And Put It In A Credit Union

You can leave a voice memo for Sarah at speakpipe.com/TheSarahSilvermanPodcast.

Follow Sarah Silverman @sarahkatesilverman on Instagram and @sarahksilverman on TikTok. And stay up to date with us @LemonadaMedia on X, Facebook, and Instagram.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Kathy, Sarah Silverman, Ryan, Becca, Andrea, Deanne, Shauna, Skinner, David, Amy, Grace

Sarah Silverman  00:15

Hi, everybody. I talked recently about my day of rage. I had so much rage in my body. I’ve I have a lot of tools to deal with it, but I had a hard time. Ooh, I was just like, kind of thrashing around at home. Just, I remember at one point I was just like, laying on my stomach on the floor, just going, I don’t want to feel this way. And I told you I punched a hole in the wall, which is the third time I’ve punched a hole in the wall in four years. That’s not bad. It doesn’t hurt anybody. It’s my wall. And I have a partner who my dad and that day we were fighting, but it was, I think, coming out of me and the rage that I woke up inside my body. And then the other day, Roy was in that room. We don’t go in that room a lot, and he goes, Oh my God, what’s this? And my heart starts beating a little because I kind of know. And I’m like, what I’m in the other room, huh? What is this on the wall? And I go, uh, and then I walk in and, like, I go, I that’s from that day. And I I punched a hole in the wall. I don’t you must think I’m really strong. I have really strong fists. I take like a two pound weight on our punch the wall because I want, I want to break it. I want to make a dent or a mark. I don’t know. It’s not rational, is it not healthy? I don’t know. I own it. It’s mine, it’s like smashing a plate, you know, didn’t hurt anybody. I was alone, and now Rory has found it. And I said, yeah, it’s from that day. And I look over to the other wall, where I had punched two holes, and it’s been, you know, spackled over by Rory, and he said, It’s okay, I can fix that easy. And boy, I gave him such a hug. I just love him so much. You know, he could have said, what are you crazy? What’s wrong with you? Nope, he said, It’s okay. I can fix that. And he did, and now there’s three holes that are spackled over, and then he’ll probably sand it down and then paint over it. That’s what we should just make. That room is just like a rage room with like re smash plates and stuff.

 

Amy  03:02

Have you ever tried boxing or, like, hitting a punching bag?

 

Sarah Silverman  03:05

I try I went to a boxing class once, and I was like, Well, I’m gonna do this now. I’m gonna and but I didn’t buy all the like, the old me would be like, I’m gonna buy all this stuff. And then I never went back again. But I really loved it. I should do it, and I need upper arm strength, that’s a great idea. I’m gonna take a boxing class. I’m gonna do that. I also, you know, I know a little bit about boxing, a little bit I know how to guard my grill, but, I mean, just like the exercise of it and the punching of a bag, yeah, that sounds great. Rory has a huge, heavy bag, but he hasn’t hung it yet. I also like the little one, though […]

 

Andrea  04:06

Hi, Sarah, this is Andrea from Texas. I heard you on a podcast many moons ago, and you said that Chelsea Peretti is the funniest person you know.

 

Sarah Silverman  04:15

Yeah.

 

Andrea  04:16

I was just wondering what you like about her humor. And then who else would be in your top three. I love you. Thank you.

 

Sarah Silverman  04:25

Chelsea is just this, like reluctant genius that hates doing stand up, but then does it and is totally singular and has, like, a completely unique voice. And there’s kind of no one like her, who else? I mean, I like I just saw Nick Kroll yesterday. He’s fucking hilarious. Mulaney, obviously Kyle Dunnigan is so he just makes me laugh so hard. So there’s one. Kyle Dunnigan, Tim Robinson, you know his sketch show. I don’t know if he does stand up, but that’s been a kind of real revelation for me in the past couple years. And then I I love that so much that I Rory and I watch Detroiters, which is a two season series him and Sam Richardson, who’s fucking amazing starred in and wrote and created for Comedy Central a few years ago. It must be on like paramount plus, I guess Detroiters. And I don’t watch a lot of comedy because it’s just not soothing to me as a comedian, but I’m watching more and more find Detroiters, like, both seasons of that show are so fucking funny and just so beautiful. I don’t there’s something it’s about best friends, like it’s but it’s absurd and ridiculous and so funny. And it that show just made me so happy. All right, comics, though, Tig Notaro, obviously. But who to look out for? I would say, did I say Beth, selling, obviously, Mo Welch, Naomi […] amazing. Robbie Hoffman. I mean, I just can’t with her. There’s only one Robbie Hoffman, that’s all I can say. I owe a debris who’s famous now, but I met her as a stand up right before she blew up, and I could see that she has like, I’m sure you know her from The Bear or whatever, and she’s just got that special sauce and, oh my god, Marina Franklin. Marina Franklin, she’s going to be, hopefully, on the road with me a bunch, as will bethstelling, which I’m excited about too. Marina Franklin, it’s one of those things where you just like, why isn’t she famous? I don’t know, so I would check her out too. I could go on and on, but I won’t what else?

 

Skinner  07:07

Hey, Sarah, this is Skinner. I just go home from a fun night out in Montreal, and I had a couple cigarettes, and I don’t really consider myself a smoker, but then I realized you have one every morning or so. So like, do you consider yourself a smoker? Also? Then you have to report that on like, your doctor reports and insurance and things like that so they say, like, did you have a serial last year or whatever? So how do you report that? I’m so weirded out by it. Okay, love you. Xoxo, bye.

 

Sarah Silverman  07:36

Do I consider myself a smoker, I don’t know, but I always do report it. You know, if I’m filling out a medical form or anything, I always say that I smoke pot, and I always say that I have one cigarette a day. Yesterday, I actually had two as a I had no I had one, and then I had half of one with a friend an old outlawed menthol out here in California that we both took puffs of later in the day. But in general, I I have one cigarette a day if I have a really long shoot day, if I’m shooting something, I might have two, but that’s it. But I also smoke pot and the, you know, there’s maybe not tar in pot, but it’s smoke, so I actually get my lungs checked. I check every year. I do love, I love my one little cigarette first thing in the day. I do, but not, I definitely don’t want to get lung cancer, so I don’t know. I sometimes you just gotta, you know, see if the juice is worth the squeeze now, for me, the juice is worth the squeeze. I feel like it’s a small enough amount that we all take mitigated risks that we decide on, and that’s one for me, but I’ll really, really be mad at myself if I get lung cancer from it, I’ll just really be like, boy, I’ll have egg on my face. I will really want to just kick myself. It’s obviously terrible for you, and nothing tells you how bad smoking is for you and how people understand that more than being on a set and looking for a cigarette or a lighter, and you can’t even find one from the Teamsters, like teamsters don’t smoke anymore, that was a big wake up call for me, but I don’t know, I’m still clinging to this very unhealthy little secret I have with myself that is not so much of a secret, because you guys know now what else?

 

David  09:49

Hi, Sarah. My name is David, and I’m calling in to ask you a question about my daughter. She’s going to be 13 in a couple of months, and I’ve always felt that she has a personality. Be very similar to yours, and I mean that in a way, that’s a huge compliment to both of you. My daughter is precocious and insightful and empathetic and vulgar and warm hearted and charming and just doesn’t give a fuck. And I’ve always felt so proud of her, and I’ve always felt so proud about how close we are, but I know that as she becomes a teenager, our relationship is really going to change. And I’d like to know from someone like you, what would you recommend? Are the most important things that a father can keep in mind with daughter who has so much spirit like like you do. So thank you very much for everything, for all you do, take care, goodbye.

 

Sarah Silverman  10:49

Just you being thoughtful about this stuff and wondering about this stuff and seeking advice about this stuff is big. You’re already ahead of the game. You know it’s gonna change. You’re right, but you know, don’t make it a self fulfilling prophecy, just go with it. Listen, you know, when kids go through their teens, their tweens, especially girls and kids with uteruses, how progressive Am I, um, their hormones. It’s not just physical, it’s emotional. It is, I wouldn’t want to go through that again for a million dollars. I don’t want to be a kid again ever. I mean, I, you know, in another life, sure, but like, yeah, no, don’t miss it. Just support her, stuff’s gonna change. Some of it will kind of come back. Some of it will be all new. Just support her. Listen to her. You don’t have to have answers for her. Just encourage her, love her, challenge her, if it’s helpful to her, try out giving her more responsibility and more freedom. See how that goes. See how she does with it. Just support her. Just love her. I just I’ve said this before, but I’ll never forget I was so moved by this. Remember when Charlie Sheen went bananas and he had tiger blood and he was whatever on crack, and he was just just a very public insanity. And Martin Sheen, who’s so beloved, you know, was going somewhere in TMZ gotta hey, what are you gonna do about your son? What are you gonna do about Charlie? And he said, I’m gonna love him more. That’s what his answer. I loved that. Just a gift of an answer. I thought that stuck with me personally. But anyway, that’s my advice. You know, I your this advice is coming from someone with no children, I this is advice coming from someone who my only experience was as a child. But I’m probably right.

 

Shauna  13:19

Hey, Sarah, how’s it going? This is Shauna. I love your podcast. And I guess if I had a question, it would be, you know, with everything going on in the world, what advice would you give to, you know, make a change in this world in regards to the the politics going on, or, you know, there’s a lot going on in the US, there’s a lot going on in Canada, there’s a lot going on around the world. And as we’re only like one person, how could we make a difference? Or, how do you make a difference? I think that you’re an amazing person. And yeah, I definitely like your comedy shows and your podcasts. And thank you so much for being you totally grateful. And yeah, I hope you have a good day.

 

Sarah Silverman  14:15

What advice would I give on how to make change in politics right now, I’m presently lost, totally lost. I’m totally lost. People ask me to make videos. I used to make a lot of political videos and and maybe some of them made a difference, like the Great Schlep for Obama. I made a video about Bernie. I made a video about why I don’t use a bank. I use a credit union, which I can’t suggest strongly enough. It’s like, just like a bank, but they’re not using your money to invest in big oil and stuff. Yeah, but I have that power I had of like, I’m gonna make a video and tell people why, x, y, z, I just feel like no one, no one wants to, no one cares. No. I don’t know what moves the needle anymore. That’s what it is. I don’t know what my power is or how I can help right now, in this moment, I’ll figure it out. But I so, you know, when people go like, Oh, we’re getting a bunch of slippers together, we’re all gonna read the script about X, Y or Z, that’s going on, and then we’ll cut it up, and we’re all looking into the camera, all serious, nah, that’s not my power. I think it’s corny. I don’t think it moves the needle anymore at all. And I just, I don’t participate in that stuff anymore. But if I had a great idea, or if I felt like I could help in some way, whether in front of the camera or behind it, or in some you know, I want to. I’m feeling help less right now, I don’t know how I can help. I want other than voting and spreading non misinformation, I guess, but to who, everyone who agrees with me, who follows me, like, what’s I feel a little what’s the point-ish and I that is, I’m not hoping that you also catch that from me, because I’m hoping to come out the other side in some way and understand how I can help. But I don’t understand how I can help anymore right now. I don’t know how to help. I feel helpless. Yeah, like so many people, feel I’m sure. I just don’t know. I don’t all right, what else?

 

Grace  16:47

Hi, Sarah, my name’s Grace. I’m down here in San Diego. I’m a freelance graphic designer, and one of my clients is called ChinChin. They’re a Chinese restaurant in LA and Sean Hayes and the guys on the Smartlist podcast mentioned Chinchin quite a bit, and kind of championed them. So I was just curious if you’ve ever eaten there, and if so, did you like it? And yeah, what’d you think of it? Thanks so much. I love your podcast, and have a great day.

 

Sarah Silverman  17:19

Yeah, I forget about Chinchin. Is that still on Sunset like in Sunset Plaza? I had a roommate that worked there, Tracy. I have eaten there. I’m actually not a fan of Chinese food, much to the chagrin of the entire Jewish culture. Every once in a while I do want, like, some cold sesame noodles, and I remember I would get there the Chinese chicken salad without chicken. It is like a LA, kind of, what is the word I looking for? Comedy, say, stalwart. Is that a word? I’ve never said that word before. It’s very like Sunset Boulevard establishment, I believe, but it’s a chain, though, right? Yeah, it’s a chain. All right. Don’t have a whole lot to say about it. Hope you’re well. Hope you’re well. All right, what else?

 

Kathy  18:12

Sarah? It’s your old pal, Kathy from Chicago, and I wanted to share with you and the listeners a pro tip if you are seeking a dopamine rush, the first thing you should do, create a Spotify playlist for one of your best friends. Just start adding all of the songs from your childhood and college time. My best friend made a playlist for traveling up to see our other best friend in St Paul, Minnesota, and if I tell you that listening to do what that thing. And all of our rap songs and all of the messy songs we listened to in the bar did not just kick my depression and knock me out of my funk, I can’t even tell you what this has done for me. So just wanted to put it out there. Love you so much. Sarah, thanks.

 

Sarah Silverman  19:04

Do not forget about music. Boy, it can lift you up. It can take you through so many feelings. It’s so true. I feel like people forget about music. I feel like they forget about baths. If you have a bathtub and you’re not using it, what are you even doing? And boy, I think people forget about listening to music, and it is. It feeds you so much. I have so many friendship mixes, so many made for me that I’ve made when my father was dying, and I can’t suggest this enough, I made a mix for him that was all the top hits from the summer he was 17, because I think that was his favorite summer. And. I played it for him, and he knew every word to every song. It’s awesome. Music is magic. But I will say that I have a playlist I’ve made for myself when I’m depressed that I call wallow. I don’t do happy music when I’m depressed. I like to wallow when I’m depressed. I like to go through the Depression to the other side. And let’s see what’s on it. I haven’t updated it a long time so and there’s a lot of old stuff on it, just because I like a lot of old stuff. Let’s look at my wallow playlist. I made this. I listened to it a lot. Just 41 songs. Okay, let’s see old friends by Guy Clark, the wrestler. Bruce Springsteen, the story. Brandi Carlile, hallelujah. Brandi Kyle. Carlisle, a lot of mountain goats, going to Georgia, love, steal smoked fish. You were your memory. Those are all songs by the mountain goats. Little Ani DiFranco, come on, I’m only human. Some what is her song? Untouchable Face. Liz fair Table for one, I’ve got a couple mates of state songs. They’re not really sad songs on here, but I do like them. I only offer in the rearranger the Sundays, a band I really loved growing up. They’ve got some great ones, the sugar cubes, the streets Dry Your Eyes. That’s a great one, a little Sunday in the Park with George. Never hurt anybody. Children in art. Move on. Adele, obviously, a singer named Maria McKee, who had a band called lone justice, just played the song wheels, when you’re feeling sad, fuck, I like to go into my sadness. That’s why some Billy Joel, hey, I’m the only human. Not that song, though, because then it did a song called the whole name. That’s not what I meant. Billy Bragg, oh. Patty Griffin, nobody’s crying 10 million miles, When It Don’t Come Easy. Florida, more mountain goats, some ultravox, a lot of Jenny Lewis, a lot of Rylo Kylie, Lou Reed, Perfect Day. I mean, just the best wallowing song, um, Joan armatradings Got some love and affection. There’s great. There’s so much more than that. But anyway, there’s a little taste. And also I’m really into this singer, Bill Callahan, who who was this band Smog, but also does solo stuff. Oh my god, a river is not too much to love. I think it’s called, is the album, that whole album, I like to actually make love to that album, but it’s also a very good wallowing song. I like heartbreaking music, but this bill Callahan his voice, I’ll just play you like a tiny sliver of Bill Callahan, and maybe from one of his albums with smog. I mean, wallow much, I’ll do a ramp up. You’re listening to smug. You’re at K, S, A, R, H, wonderful. Bill Callahan, take it away. […] I could keep going. I’m not gonna do this to you. It’s just his music fucking just rips through me, and his lyrics are amazing, and his voice just like, can’t say enough. Oh, Mary Gaucher for wallowing. Fuck. Mary Gaucher. Her last name looks like Gauthier. Just listen to I drink. Start there, then go to Mercy now, then come back to me.

 

Deanne  24:27

Hi Sarah, it’s your old pal here, Deanne in Salt Lake City. I just had a something that I have found really helpful, that you might too and other people might when it comes to people sharing something they’re going through that is extremely difficult. I have said in the past, and a lot of people say like I can’t imagine. And as someone who lost her only child two years ago, um. People have said that to me, I can’t imagine. I can’t imagine, and that phrase lands for me in a way that just increases my isolation. And they’re trying to be comforting, but I feel even more alone and isolated because no one can imagine what I find more helpful, and what I now say to people is, I can only imagine. I can only imagine how painful that is to you, because I can’t we can use our imaginations, and that is why we have empathy for people, because we can imagine, but we can’t know it. We are not them, but we can imagine. And I find that it lands when people say to me, I can only imagine that I feel more comforted and less alone. So I hope that helps, bye.

 

Sarah Silverman  25:49

Oh my gosh, Deanne, I’m changed from you. I can only imagine, I can only imagine what you’ve been through. That’s great. I mean, you know what I mean, that’s great, a great adjustment. And I can only imagine what you’ve been through, and I’m so sorry. Oh, my parents lost a three month old son between Susie and Laura, and I can only imagine, and I have imagined many times with my imagination, what they went through, especially in a time this was the 60s, where they were on a vacation, and Jeffrey, who would have been my brother, was being taken care of by his grandparents, my dad’s parents, and they went on a cruise that my mother won on a game show called concentration when she was 23 and was the week long winner, and then went on to the like champions and won all this stuff, including a couch that is still in our family, this big green velvet couch that my niece Marilyn has now. Anyway, I’m digressing into digressions, into digressions, into digressions, but their friends thinking that they were helping them removed any sign of Jeffrey from the house. So they came home and it was like he never existed. And of course, we know now that is insane. They had no closure. They were there was no you know anyway. Thank you for that, and thanks for calling in. I think that’s gonna affect a lot of people who listen to this, including myself, and I appreciate you all right, what else?

 

Becca  27:56

Hey, Sarah, this is Becca from Georgia. Can’t wait to see you in Atlanta in January. Um, anyway, I have an almost two year old son. Um, me and my father. Just a little background. Me and my father had a pretty strained relationship, but reconnected, and around 2020, um, our relationship got a lot of better, and then he has also been a key part in my son’s life, but most recently, he is remarried. But most recently, I found out that through a sequence of events that was really awful, that his wife is very homophobic and racist, it put quite a rift between me and them, and I don’t know really what to do. I personally don’t really want to be around her, but my son is in the equation, and I don’t want to limit the relationship he has with my dad, and it’s become quite, quite strained, and I’m not really sure what to do. I’d love to hear your thoughts. They both kind of simplified it, saying it’s just a matter of differences, and they shouldn’t get in the way of us being a blended family. But I feel very differently. Anyway,a I’d love to hear your thoughts. Thanks so much for all you do.

 

Sarah Silverman  29:12

Huh, how does your father feel about these viewpoints? She’s perfect. She’s a little racist and homophobic, but besides that, she’s so nice, which may be true, but wow, huh? I you know, listen, I understand this is tricky, but you are raising your son. You’re raising your son, and you will teach him that people are all different and come in all different ways. And there are brothers and sisters, and some of those people are different because they’re limited by what they don’t know and haven’t experienced. And you will raise them to think critically, and that not all grown ups know best, and some grown ups don’t know better, but he will forge his own path with what he does know, and he will make his own decisions. Maybe, I don’t know, listen, he’s two. Maybe you can ask your father, like, please don’t let her speak about those issues in front of my son. I don’t know, it’s a little tricky. Maybe you’re there when he’s with your his grandparents. Maybe you’re also there, and you can kind of, if not, mitigate, observe and then correct things on the car ride home. I don’t know. I’m a woman with no children, so I’m just talking from my asshole, yes, but also my heart. I just can’t get myself to say, well, then cut off your father from your son. You know, I grew up with tons of fucked up racist, wildly homophobic people all around me, people close to me, and I turned out okay, why? You know, my parents raised me, and you’re raising your kid, and that’s that i don’t know i This was, I don’t feel great about my answer, but that’s what I got, and I hope it was helpful, what else?

 

Ryan  31:28

Hello, my name is Ryan. I randomly, as I was going to sleep last night, had this little ditty pop up into my head, and I think it’s funny, and I wanted to share it with you, because I thought you would actually enjoy it too. And I need to get out of my because it’s been on replay all night, so I’m recording it here, enjoy.

 

Sarah Silverman  31:52

I’m ready.

 

Ryan  31:55

This is some gross ass wine. This ain’t no Chardonnay. I take back all the cheeses I brought you, I won’t stay.

 

CREDITS  32:10

That is very well done, good parody. What is this parody of story about you went to a party, you brought some cheese. They served wine, and it wasn’t good. You took you packed up your cheese and you left. That’s a beautiful song, I like it. Thank you for planting it in my head now, Cher, should get some sort of credit here as well, obviously, needless to say, Dad, we are winding down. This is the part of the podcast. When I say, send me your questions. Go to speakpipe.com/theSarahSilvermanpodcast. No question is too weird. No question is too dark, too deep, too filthy. I guess some are, we just don’t air those. But give us a call that speak pipe.com/theSarahSilvermanpodcast and subscribe, rate and review, baby, wherever you listen to podcasts, that’s the stuff, plus there’s more of the Sarah Silverman podcast with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus questions like one about the craziest parties I’ve ever been to oh, subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Thank you for listening to the Sarah Silverman podcast, we are a production of Lemonada media. Kathryn Barnes and Isabella Kulkarni produce our show. Our mix is by James Sparber. The show is recorded at the Invisible Studios in West Hollywood. Charles Carroll is our recording engineer. Additional Lemonada support from Steve Nelson, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Our theme was composed by Ben Folds. You can find me at @SarahKateSilverman on Instagram. Follow the Sarah Silverman podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.