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Description

This week, SuChin reveals how she saved House Pak from a pinworm outbreak, and Kulap divulges how she’s keeping her marriage as spicy as flaming hot Cheetos. Spoiler: it’s matching underwear. Plus, the two play a new game (Impulse Buy) that vaguely resembles the end of a Project Runway episode –– some items are in, and others are out.

Please note, Add To Cart contains mature themes and may not be appropriate for all listeners.

For a list and links to all products mentioned in this episode, head to @addtocartpod on Instagram.

Stay up to date with us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.

Transcription

SPEAKERS

Stephanie Wittels Wachs, Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Claire Jones

SuChin Pak  00:10

Hey everyone, welcome. This is ADD TO CART. I’m SuChin Pak.

Kulap Vilaysack

And I’m Kulap Vilaysack.

SuChin Pak

And this week we’re talking about all our favorite things plus our very first fun spontaneous game we will call: Impulse Buy.

Kulap Vilaysack

Whoo, I’m excited. So let’s get into it.

SuChin Pak 

All right, Kulap. What did you add to cart this week?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Well, friend, it is actually something that you added to cart. You so kindly gifted me a book, Untamed by Glennon Doyle. You know, it’s a number one New York Times bestseller. We would categorize this as sort of a self-care self-help memoir. Is that fair to say?

SuChin Pak 

Yes, a parenting book. I also like to say.

Kulap Vilaysack

Oh, interesting. I would agree. I would agree she is of the Elizabeth Gilbert, the Brené Brown, the Rob Bell, the Oprah Winfrey cloth. They are of the same ilk, just as smooth silky cloth, you know? Oh, yes. And it’s made of cashmere.

SuChin Pak 

Heavy on the cash.

Kulap Vilaysack 

That’s right. cashmere. You got this for me thought I’d like it. I indeed did. At first I wasn’t sure at first, because I was hearing a lot of things that I had heard before, in her writing. What I enjoyed though, is her story. Now she’s written two books prior, her story she came onto the scene as a Christian mommy blogger. And what a journey to Untamed.

SuChin Pak

Trust me, it took me a minute to pick up this book. I was like, “I just don’t know if she’s for me.” But I had heard it recommended to me from very reliable sources that were not Christian, white women.

Kulap Vilaysack  02:15

Well, I mean, I don’t think it’s a spoiler because it’s known that she is now divorced from her husband and is remarried to a woman who is a world-renowned soccer player. And they have a truly, you know, different life than her prior books to put it mildly. She starts off the book with like, seeing a cheetah in captivity, and relating to that cheetah. And yeah, I zipped through the book, it’s a collection of..

SuChin Pak 

They’re almost like essays, little vignettes, little journal entries. So there’s nothing intimidating about it. Each thing moves so fast.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Super-fast, very quick read. Oh, I should tell you that I added to cart three books are going out to three pals, people who I think would like it. I feel like this is a book for somebody over 40. How do you feel about that?

SuChin Pak 

Interesting because I also added to cart and sent it to my friend’s daughter who is just going to college. Shout out to Lily, just like one of the most mature and, dare I say woke young people out there. And the thing about it that you were talking about alluding to the cheetahs is it’s a euphemism. I don’t know if I’m using that right. But she’s talking about cheetahs, which are our women who, for all the various reasons that we feel caged, whether it’s because of society’s expectations, our own misogyny or whether it’s trauma, whatever it is, that we are wild, brilliant, beautiful cheetahs that should be out in the wild living our full life but we live in these small little cages right?

SuChin Pak 

Yes, fear as girls, I think we’re so conditioned to be polite, and smile, and thank you and write our little notes and you know, shrink into ourselves. And, you know, all of these things, that there was something about the message of like, just be wild, you know? Be untamed that I wanted to. So, but I understand where you’re coming from over 40. I want to hear why you said that.

Kulap Vilaysack  04:42

I think it’s more meaningful, because you’ve gone through the variations of the things that she’s speaking about. I considered it for some of my, like, my niece, Dana, who is 25 I don’t know she keeps ageing and I remember I don’t know if she’s younger than that. But I thought I think to me, she would it would be at a distance for her, because things like motherhood and the ins and outs of marriage, and the negotiations for both relationships are not something that a lot of my cousins, like that they have really a concept or context for. I also want to say that it reminded me of like the mature, like graduation of a child’s book that I have given like basically all of my girlfriends, which is Neil Gaiman’s Blueberry Girl.

SuChin Pak 

Oh, no, I don’t know that one. I’m gonna have to add that to cart.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I mean for your daughter. And yeah, really honestly, for you, too. It’s Neil Gaiman wrote The Sandman. He’s one of my favorite writers and he wrote this as a sort of a benediction for his friend Tori Amos, when she was having a baby girl. And I’ll just read a little bit. But it’s a benediction he’s asking for blessings from like the fates and kind and just a little bit of it is “first may you ladies be kind keeper from spindles and sleeps at 16 let her stay waking and wise. Nightmares at three or bad husbands at 30. These will not trouble her eyes. Dull days at 40 false friends at 15 letters have brave days and truth. Let her go places that we’ve never been trust and delight in her youth.” It’s just beautiful.

SuChin Pak  06:28

Oh, yeah.

Kulap Vilaysack 

To look at. It’s illustrated by Charles Bass. But yeah, that’s what I that to me felt like, Oh, this is such these kinds of oddly go together.

SuChin Pak 

They still together? Yeah, it start off with Blueberry Girl. Yeah. And then you graduate to Untamed?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah.

SuChin Pak 

I also am raising a cheetah. We call her the honey badger do remember the honey badger video from years ago that went viral? The honey badger don’t care if she don’t care. And she goes around. She’s like, “honey badger don’t care.” She really connected to that. That viral video was, it really changed the way that I see my daughter. Because I always I have a I don’t want to say difficult but a very often times I just don’t know what to do with that spirit. You know, because I was the girl that was like, “I’m so scared.” You know? And she’s not. And so I love that. But I don’t know how to nurture that because it’s so wasn’t me at that age. And this book kind of gave me the permission to let her be her stinky, dreadlocked you know, boy underwear wearing weird insect collecting freak that she is. Anyway, so.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Thank you again for, it was such a great gift.

Kulap Vilaysack

What did you add to cart?

SuChin Pak 

I added to cart an eyeliner that is waterproof from Tarte Cosmetics.

Kulap Vilaysack  08:04

I love Tart.

SuChin Pak

And it’s called Man Eater. It’s $20. Now as an Asian woman, and as you know, as an Asian woman for me with thick, omega three salmon skin eye folds. Do you know how hard it is to find an eyeliner that will stay on your lids? Because my eyelid oil constantly or raises my eyeliner. You know, I don’t have your beautiful double fold. May I say look at that. Look them up big, big, big double fold. You beautiful Asian you.

Kulap Vilaysack

This is slightly erotic.

SuChin Pak 

Yes, isn’t it? Um, so I have been on the hunt and the search. And this is one that I buy all the time, it works. I’m just going to tell you it works. it’ll stick on you until you know, wash it off with an oil-based cleanser. It will be on your eyelids all day long. And it reminded me because I have an obsession with eyeliner, is of the time in high school. Did you ever do the tape on your eyelids?

Kulap Vilaysack 

No.

SuChin Pak 

Because have you always had a double fold?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yes.

SuChin Pak 

Okay, so.

Kulap Vilaysack 

What did you do?

SuChin Pak 

For listeners that don’t know what a double fold is. What, how do we describe it? Asians are obsessed with two centimeters of skin.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah, just having a crease essentially.

SuChin Pak 

Yes. And it’s a difference between being beautiful and not, let’s be honest.

Kulap Vilaysack 

No, no, come on.

SuChin Pak 

Ask my mom, ask my mom. Number 1 plastic surgery in all of Asia, is to get a two-centimeter crease on your eyelid. Am I wrong? Or am I right?

Kulap Vilaysack 

You’re wrong. You’re right, that is the number one surgery but you and those guys are wrong.

SuChin Pak 

We may be wrong, but we’re still doing it.

Kulap Vilaysack  10:02

Yeah, I also support whatever anyone wants to do.

SuChin Pak 

Yeah. So anyway, so I was just thinking about like, wow, you know, in high school, because I wanted that full that two centimeters of gorgeousness that I felt validated. What beautiful was, right? The definition of it, I would scotch tape. So you take a tiny piece of scotch tape, just the size of your fold, and you tape it to your eyelid. And then I would paint over it with eyeliner so you couldn’t see the tape.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Do you have photos of it? And does it look right? From when back then?

SuChin Pak 

You know what, I don’t know if I have any photos. I don’t know if it looks right. But you know what, I will do it this week. And I will take a picture of myself and see if it looks right or crazy. In my mind..

Kulap Vilaysack 

That’s like when I because what I you know; I was I went through it. Well, I guess I still am going through sort of a hip hop phase. But in Minnesota, in you know, 94′-95′ I would do brown eyeliner as lip liner with nothing, not filling it in at all. And the Chapstick is just in the middle. And that’s a look. That was that moment. And it does not hold up.

SuChin Pak 

I just think we could have a running series on awkward family. And just do these photos of us going through. I went through a phase probably from the ages of 12 to 14 where every single picture is made smiling like this, which is lifting up my eyebrows. Just a surprised look. And I thought that was so normal and so genius. Now you understand why I have such eye fatigue. I overused my surprise look to open up my eyes.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah, cuz I have been wondering, why does she have such eye fatigue?

SuChin Pak 

Now you know.

Kulap Vilaysack  12:00

Like, I can’t sleep at night because of your eye fatigue. It’s nothing I’ve ever noticed. You’re a beautiful woman.

SuChin Pak 

I just need help. I need help all the time.

SuChin Pak

Okay, your turn. What’s your next add to cart?

Kulap Vilaysack

My next add to cart, are you familiar with the brand MeUndies?

SuChin Pak 

Come again? What is that underwear?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah, underwear. And they have a service. So the service, how do you put it? It’s called Match Me. Okay. It’s where I can purchase and I have, Suchin’s already laughing. I get matching underwear for me and Scott. Now, you’re like, “Kulap, you did this last week? I sure did. Have you done it before? Yes, I have.”

SuChin Pak 

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SuChin Pak 

How does he feel about it?

Kulap Vilaysack 

He loves it.

SuChin Pak 

And do you get it in like what like different colors and fabrics?

Kulap Vilaysack

Do you need to know right now? Because I’ll show you now, I got it. He was uncertain about it at first like a lot of things again I’ve said over and over. He doesn’t understand my lifestyle but it’s tolerance and the things that I do there are many, there are many. Be at crystals, be at Christmas and Summer, be it MeUndies, and the service again is called Match Me It’s where you match you’re the bottom half to your better half. And you know obviously you’re only going to do this with somebody special. And you know what’s coming is at the very end is I’m going to propose that you and I have matching underwear. So just think about it.

SuChin Pak 

Listen, I’ll wear those boxers email, I love a full coverage. You know what I mean? I like my underwear to go all the way up to the base of my boobs, down to the tops of my knees, you know what I mean?

Kulap Vilaysack  14:11

There’s so many different styles, SuChin. There’s so many. I mean, please ask me questions.

SuChin Pak 

I have so many questions and you do this because it makes you feel.

Kulap Vilaysack 

you know, it’s just a little lift when you’re like “Oh my god. We didn’t plan this but we’re both wearing Wonder Woman panties?”

SuChin Pak 

I don’t want to get into intimate details of our lives.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Let’s do it.

SuChin Pak 

But I can’t tell you what year it was that I last saw my husband in his underwear. Are you telling me that you often see your husband.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Every, every day and I’d like to see more of it. I love that little tickets. I’m all hands on that deck. All hands. For the moment I wake up to the moment he tries to go to bed. I am all about that ass. SuChin, are you okay? You’re so far from the mic. We can’t hear your silent screams. SuChin is screaming silently to the heavens.

SuChin Pak 

Out of everything that you have said. That is I don’t know why blowing my mind. It’s just, I’m both uncomfortable and get I’m leaning in so hard and get I’m sweating and I’m also cold.

Kulap Vilaysack 

You’re sweating?

SuChin Pak 

I got chills and the sweats. Wow.

Kulap Vilaysack 

We all contain multitudes I think is the..

SuChin Pak  16:03

I really can’t.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I didn’t even show you my two MeUndies Match Me’s, the new ones that I got.

SuChin Pak 

Okay, I’m gonna put my big girl pants on because I just, I can’t, it’s too much.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Well, speaking of big girl pants, here’s the ones.

SuChin Pak 

Oh my god. The black and white checked.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah, they’re like a buffalo check. And these are something you might like, they’re high waisted, you know? And cheeky. And matches with his. And then the other pair that I got a little whimsy maybe a little whimsies and star huh? What is this? This is called. These are cute little dim sum, dim sum print. SuChin, it’s Dim Sum print. It’s orange. We got some bows. I think those are egg tarts. You know, the buttons.

SuChin Pak 

Show me the boy version. Oh my god. There it is. Oh my God. he’s got bows on his buttons. Oh my god. I can’t. I can’t It’s so good. You guys. It’s so hard to describe. I think I’m gonna have to get this for Mike for Christmas. He’s going to be shocked and it’ll be hilarious.

Kulap Vilaysack 

You’re wearing the aubergine background with the giraffe print that I too am wearing.

SuChin Pak 

I just you know what? I love that you are keeping it spicy. I love that you are keeping it wimzie. I love that you are my god keeping it sexy because someone has to and I commend you.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Alright, I think it’s time for us to take a break. We’ll be right back.

Kulap Vilaysack

What’s up for you? What else did you add to cart?

SuChin Pak  18:06

Don’t be scared to click on this next link, Kulap. My add to cart is also a remove from cart. They’re the same thing.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh, wow.

SuChin Pak

Let’s go to the remove from cart first. And what I remove from cart ladies and gentlemen is pinworms. Are you looking at that picture? Scroll down to an image of what it looks like.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh man. Oh, wait. I hit the wrong link and it was a picture of my high waisted dim sum panties. Let me go somewhere.

SuChin Pak 

Let’s go and click on an image of what a pinworm is now, and I could not graphic one because let’s not vomit, but that is an artist’s rendition of a butthole with worms on it.

Kulap Vilaysack

My niece Dana, I mentioned her before, every time she goes to Asia. She gets pinworms.

SuChin Pak 

As an adult?

Kulap Vilaysack 

An adult, yes. And she expects them. And she anticipates them by getting medication from I think Thailand. And one time speaking of scotch tape, she put one in case in his

SuChin Pak 

That’s what you do.

Kulap Vilaysack 

No, it’s not.

SuChin Pak 

Okay, so for those for those of us who don’t know what pinworm is, if you have children or I guess traveled to Asia. If you have children, pinworms are very common thing. We never had them.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Is that true? I never had them.

SuChin Pak 

Kids get pinworm. It’s a very common thing. It’s extremely contagious. And basically what it is, it’s a worm. It’s a parasite that you ingest accidentally because they’re microscopic and then it goes into your intestine and it comes out of your butthole to lay its eggs.

Kulap Vilaysack  20:05

Wait, SuChin. Did you ever had pinworm?

SuChin Pak

No, I’ve never had been worms. And my kids never had pinworms. But during quarantine when my child is around, nobody decides to get pinworms. And she had been complaining about itchy butt. And you know, if you have kids, like, their butts are itchy all the time for various reasons. It’s Cheerios. It’s a chafing. It’s, you know, whatever. And but she had kind of been consistently complaining about it. And my greatest fear in life, as is probably most people’s fear in life is something hosted in my body that is laying eggs.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah, it’s up there.

SuChin Pak 

So I went online. And what you do is the scotch tape test. So at night when they come out, I took her into the bathroom, and I laid her down and I scotch tape, the area, and when I lifted it, there were worms.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Okay. Okay.

SuChin Pak 

The good news is and this is my add to cart, it’s okay. You can vomit, it’s alright. Because I did. I cried. I did cry. When I saw them. I was alone. And I cried, I did a silent sob into my knuckle because I didn’t want to freak her out. She was crying. She knew because she knew because I talked about pinworms all the time. And that’s probably not something I should do. But I am paranoid about it. She’s never got and I always say “kids wash your hands. You’re going to get worms in your tummy. You’re going to get worms.” And she said, “mama, are there worms?” And I stopped silent sobbing for a moment. And I said, Yeah, baby, but I mean, there’s just a few and it’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. She started to cry. I was crying. Long story short, I would recommend Reese’s Pinworm medicine. It’s like eight bucks add to cart.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Is there any way, connected to Reese Witherspoon? Is this because the book you got me. It says right here that it’s a Reese’s book club. And so I’m just wondering if Reese Witherspoon also says branded pinworms.

SuChin Pak 

I bet you, Reese Witherspoon would love to get a piece of this Reese’s Pinworm medicine empire. Because they’re the trusted brand. Let me tell you, you take one small dose and it’s done now. The thing with pinworms should you ever get it? Is that it’s highly contagious. And so what I was you’re only supposed to take this one dose and it kills it in one dose. I was like, I read the packaging and I was like some I need three other people to read this and tell me one dose I was ready to take this all day long just put it in a Slurpee cup.

SuChin Pak 

I bought so many boxes I did not believe it I was at the Rite Aid and I was like there’s no way that this is going to get killed a worm in just a tablespoon of this I’m going to buy met as many boxes, I’m going to be drinking this stuff till the end of time. But it’s true. It’s just one dose and you’re done.

Kulap Vilaysack 

So you took a dose too, just to be safe?

SuChin Pak 

Oh, no, the whole family has to take a dose, everybody’s got to take a dose. You don’t need to scotch tape anyone’s butt, just take that dose. You get an itchy in your butt. I’m going to tell you right now go to the Rite Aid. Get a Reese’s Pinworm and just down that shit.

Kulap Vilaysack 

We are back, we are back. ADD TO CART, I’m Kulap.

SuChin Pak  24:01

Oh wait, I’m eating an apple. I needed a break after telling you that story because I have to tell you. Yeah, it was a hard week.

Kulap Vilaysack 

But also it is weird that we were just talking about buttholes and you’re like, got to eat something.

SuChin Pak 

It’s just an apple.

Kulap Vilaysack

SuChin, thank you so much for being vulnerable once again.

Kulap Vilaysack 

What I’m going to remove from cart is marketing email lists, political marketing lists on a daily basis, because I’m not someone who can have any unread emails. I can’t have unread text. I can’t have unread emails. I can’t have that. It’s got to go to zero. I’m taking down to zero.

SuChin Pak 

Oh, you’re a psychopath.

Kulap Vilaysack

Yeah, I am a psychopath on so many levels. But in this specific level.

SuChin Pak

Go ahead.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I mean, truly, I think there are two different types of people in the world. I have my last co-host, (UNCLEAR), he had like, he would always have like 40,000 like it would show up on his iPhone 40,000, unread and that just like the mere thought of it gives me ringworm as the only way I can put it. And so my friend Michael Grassi, who is a listener, and also an amazing writer, he was executive producer of Katy Keene and, you know, worked on River Down, Supergirl, he’s just amazing. He wrote me that he has just been unsubscribing. He’s been doing an unsubscribing you know, for all sorts of businesses, and he would just delete it, which exactly what I’ve been doing.

SuChin Pak

Why did it take him to like, why didn’t you? Like if they’ve been bothering you? Would you just sort of like muddling through it? Or did you feel like obligated? Like, what was it that was keeping you from doing it up until this point?

Kulap Vilaysack  26:02

I’ve done it before, but it’s been a while, I think, after this election, where I gave a lot to a lot of candidates across the country. And, you know, multiple times and those emails did work. And there’s such value in those emails. And then there are there are genuine businesses that I’ve, I like, but I’m not buying from rag and bone anymore. I’m not interested in it. The camera bag I bought, you know, years ago, I’m not buying another camera bag. I think I just let it accrue and just like I’ll just erase it. I’ll just erase it. And now I inspired by my friend Michael Grassi. The last two days have just been like unsubscribe, unsubscribe, even places that I shop a lot at, as he put it. It’s like I’ll come to you. I know you. John Assaf, Reverend Warnock. I’ll come to you and I’ve already donated do I know where you are. Stuff coming at me, okay?

SuChin Pak 

Multiple times a day, yeah.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I love Adidas. I have so much Adidas. I’ll come to you. Don’t worry. When I want something, I’ll be there.

SuChin Pak 

I love an unsubscribe, it feels cathartic. I’m all for it.

Kulap Vilaysack 

My friend Michael was like being home and quarantine and I finally have that extra five to 20 seconds it takes to unsubscribe, instead of a one second swipe, delete. It feels powerful. Like when he says, if I need want something and there happens to be a promo, great. There are a few companies I stay subscribed to because I want to know when something new comes in. But like the goal is like five to 10 maximum not hundreds. That’s my rant. unsubscribe is my 2020 cart and I love it. Oh my God.

SuChin Pak 

He’s right.

Kulap Vilaysack 

He’s right.

SuChin Pak 

He’s right. I love that. Like, if I go there, and I buy it, and there happens to be a promotion. Great. If not, it’s still fine. I don’t want to subscribe.

Kulap Vilaysack  28:04

I’m not new to this game.

SuChin Pak 

I’m a grown woman.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I got your address?

SuChin Pak 

I got underwear with dim sum on it matching with my husband who has underwear with dim sum on it. Yeah, I know what’s happening.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Don’t worry about me consuming, it’s happening.

SuChin Pak 

Oh it’s happening, yeah,

Kulap Vilaysack 

It’s happening, it is, certainly did happen this past weekend. With all the sales like it’s truly like…

SuChin Pak 

Wait for yourself or did you? Is it a gift?

Kulap Vilaysack 

It’s a solid mix. It always is a solid mix of a one for you. One for me. One for you and one for me.

SuChin Pak 

Let me just say the last thing I bought on this crazy week of sales. I was like really? A leather bomber during quarantine. now is the time I don’t know that may be going back but, we’ll see.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Before you send back a leather bomber which I’m very interested in you having I’d love a photo of you. And I just want to be a part of it of the decision making.

SuChin Pak 

I know I don’t even know what I bought. It was a frenzy because I had multiple screens going multiple cards going, I was writing down coupons and then I ordered from (unclear). They had a great sale and then two days later, they fucking go out and they’re like oh yeah, if you buy it then you get a 10-piece gift set. Did I email the person? A customer rep and say hey, two days ago I bought this you didn’t have a 10-piece gift set then can I get a gift set? She said “sure can”, she’s sending me a gift set.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Okay, this character is amazing. Let’s name her because it’s not your normal voice it’s a little bit nasally there’s a lot of air and..

SuChin Pak 

That’s my Asian auntie voice.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh it’s great.

SuChin Pak 

Is it? Because I don’t know what my voice sounds like obviously doing that, but I feel very Asian auntie. I feel like my mother who will return a watermelon after opening it up cutting a piece and eating it. And it’s not juicy enough, she will then take both pieces. True story. Go back to Trader Joe’s and say not juicy. And the lady, the lady, the white lady will be like “I’m sorry.” Like, “no, not juicy.” And there will be two pieces of a watermelon with a chunk carved out. And she always gets a refund. So anyway, that’s who I was channeling. I don’t know how we got onto that tangent.

Kulap Vilaysack  30:42

Shopping. ADD TO CART

SuChin Pak 

So yes, removed from cart subscriptions. I’m all about it. Your friend is 100% correct. And I subscribe to that unsubscribe.

Kulap Vilaysack

I mean, I think we’ve talked about this a bit of getting sort of input from our listeners. I mean, what do you think the best way to do that is have them dm at @addtocartpod of like things that they’ve add to cart, remove to cart. Love to hear from you guys.

Kulap Vilaysack

SuChin, this is very exciting because we’re going to play a brand-new game. It’s called Impulse Buy. So this is how it’s going to work. Our producer, Claire, who we bring up a lot. We’re going to hear her voice and she’s chosen a couple of items that she is going to describe to us and we’re going to go three to one and say if we would add to cart or remove from cart. Does that make sense?

SuChin Pak 

Yeah.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Are you ready?

SuChin Pak 

I am ready. I’m ready and I’m excited.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yes, and of course there are wrong answers.

SuChin Pak

Always. This is life, isn’t it? I plan on getting an A+ on this test.

Kulap Vilaysack  32:01

Yeah, I will play dirty. I don’t know how yet. I’ve never played the game, but I’ll find a way. I’ll introduce myself as a contestant. My name is Kulap Vilaysack. I live in Hollywood. I have a dog. Oh, no, sorry. I mean, I have a husband and two dogs.

SuChin Pak 

And me I’m SuChin Pak. I live near Los Angeles. And I don’t really like pets or have any but I have two wonderful kids and a husband as well.

Kulap Vilaysack

It’s time to play. Impulse Buy.

Claire Jones

I’m gonna count down. 3.. 2.. 1.. Soda Stream

SuChin Pak 

Remove.

Kulap Vilaysack

Remove.

Claire Jones  32:50

Okay, is this a bubble thing?

SuChin Pak

It is a bubble thing. Soda Stream. Bubbles are too big, too big, too loose. Yeah, it just doesn’t work. Kulap, why did you remove?

Kulap Vilaysack 

Because I get my mountain valley spring which I know you say is a too aggressive bold bubble not bold in the way you like where apparently your butt cheeks quiver. I like them and I like the glass bottles and I’m a creature of habit.

SuChin Pak 

Yeah, and I know already Kulap is looking at the SodaStream packaging being like not in my house. I shan’t have uneven curves in my home.

Kulap Vilaysack

God, you know me I am seen, I truly am seen that is a big part if it was aesthetically pleasing, and I could put it next to my espresso machine.

SuChin Pak 

Spanish espresso machine?

Kulap Vilaysack 

You know, made from Cuisinart. Okay, we’re gonna do this again SuChin.

SuChin Pak 

I want to know about your espresso machine.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Oh, no, the next item we have to decide are we gonna go three to one or one two three and then we say it?

SuChin Pak  34:07

Three, two, one you’re right. But three, two, one, when the picture comes up, we say it immediately? Or we take a moment with a picture and do three, two, one. Sorry, I got confused.

Stephanie Wittels Wachs 

Why doesn’t Claire say three? Oh my god. I love everyone. What is it Claire say three, two, one. She shows it and then you guys say I don’t know.

SuChin Pak 

We have another producer coming in off mic. She’s going to go get her mic. So now we have four annoying aunties all screaming at each other. The rules of a game where there are no rules. Okay, Claire, so you’re gonna bring up the next item your gonna say three, two, one the item comes up. Okay, say add or remove. Okay,

Claire Jones

Three, two, one.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Add To Cart.

SuChin Pak 

Remove?

Kulap Vilaysack 

What is this?

SuChin Pak 

Trick Mirror Reflections On Self-Delusion.

Kulap Vilaysack 

I can relate.

SuChin Pak 

I don’t even know what it means.

Claire Jones

So, Jia Tolentino is a writer. She’s a staff writer for The New Yorker, she’s worked as the deputy editor for Jessabelle, she’s been in the New York Times Magazine, I started reading this book, it is so brilliant. She has banger sentences, every other sentence, and then so she’s very smart. And this book is really good. It’s all about technology and our relationship to ourselves with technology, and it’s short essays, but then also, she’s extremely attractive. I’d like to start off by saying she’s a very smart lady. I’d also like to follow up by saying she’s extremely attractive. I’d also like to follow up by saying I would like to match her style and have looked at many pictures of her and her clothes.

SuChin Pak  36:04

Claire, tell us more.

Kulap Vilaysack 

SuChin, you were wrong here and I was so wrong.

SuChin Pak 

Mostly anti-Asian number one, number two, I saw a book that said mirror and reflections and those are also two things that I don’t really love to engage in looking at my reflections.

Kulap Vilaysack

That’s why she refuses to watch Mulan or listen to Christina Aguilera for that very reason.

SuChin Pak 

Exactly. And so but I know that this is a game and I can’t like put it back on my card. So I guess I lose Okay, I lose one point okay, lose one you win this point and I lose this.

Kulap Vilaysack 

That’s right. So that’s clear and everyone heard it.

SuChin Pak 

Side note, add to cart getting that book.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Okay. Okay, but that’s not part of the game but yeah, okay.

SuChin Pak 

Yeah, but I thought that you know, just like if there was extra credit in the game and there’s one of those graders No, okay, but just like off hours if there was a time.

Kulap Vilaysack

What you do in your own time is your time.

Claire Jones 

Okay, ready? Okay three, two, one.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Remove.

SuChin Pak 

Remove.

Claire Jones 

It’s flaming hot Cheetos.

Kulap Vilaysack

You know I’m I think this is showing my age a little bit showing my roots, showing my grays as much as I enjoyed the music that the young kids are making about (unclear) and just the various.

SuChin Pak 

By the way that was like 10 years ago. Those young people are now well into their 30’s

Kulap Vilaysack

Furthering my point. You know, I don’t need, I like a spice. I don’t need it on my Cheeto.

SuChin Pak

Also very dangerous.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Why?

SuChin Pak 

Because you if you talk to any ER doctor, they will tell you that they get a lot of people coming into emergency rooms with like, I’m sorry, intestinal and rectal bleeding from eating too many hot Cheetos.

Kulap Vilaysack  38:07

It’s tough because we all know who you are. You’re much like Walter Cronkite. You’re a journalistic voice that we respect and listen to but then you say things and I just looked it up.

SuChin Pak 

Yes, hand strength equals long life. Flaming hot Cheetos. Emergency room visits. It’s a thing. Go ahead, Claire. Go ahead. I’m not even gonna I’m not even gonna Google because I’m so sure about my answers.

Kulap Vilaysack

Also I think right now might be COVID related. Maybe taking it up the emergency doctors rooms time.

Claire Jones 

This is from October 18 2012. CBS. “Why flaming hot Cheetos are sending kids to the ER?”

Kulap Vilaysack 

2012 you were making fun of me.

SuChin Pak 

I believe at that point I lost and the last round came off right back to my gut and we are at three for three.

Kulap Vilaysack 

We both said remove from cart. It’s not a tie your one down.

SuChin Pak 

Tie. Tie. Tie.

Kulap Vilaysack

Not a tie.

Claire Jones 

Okay, this is the tie breaker. It’s a two in one.

Kulap Vilaysack

Okay, exciting.

SuChin Pak 

Kulap, what else is two in one? MeUndies. MeUndies. I said MeUndies.

Kulap Vilaysack 

They weren’t two for one though. They were this bit full price or both.

Claire Jones 

Okay, ready? Three, two, one.

Kulap Vilaysack 

Yeah, I’ll add to cart.

SuChin Pak 

Add To Cart.

Claire Jones 

Okay, so we’re looking at two different floral, patterned blazers. One has a sheen, a shiny Yeah, sheen is a little longer. The other shorter, little more fun,

SuChin Pak 

Aggressive print. I think.

SuChin Pak 

The CBS 2012 may reference that, if I could submit that into the court for consideration and..

Kulap Vilaysack 

Unisex Hawaiian floral print one’s $43.50 and other is around $72.10 It’s from Asos Design. I enjoy Asos. Yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna add to cart. Okay, so seems like I won because SuChin lost the book, and I think everyone who listened can agree. Next time you’ll be better.

Kulap Vilaysack

Overruled.

SuChin Pak  40:35

So you won this round, Kulap, but it was our first round and the second one.

Kulap Vilaysack 

First game, yeah.

SuChin Pak

Yeah, I will be flaming Hot Cheeto on your butt.

Kulap Vilaysack 

So it’s so good that I think we’re progressing. Our first three episodes was very vagina, heavy. And now we’ve moved just a couple inches to the butthole. And what a fun progression. You know, maybe next episode, we’ll meet in the middle and it’ll be taint based.

SuChin Pak 

Making our way up slowly but surely. Here we come. Soon, this podcast will be intelligent, but it may take a few months we are working our way up.

Kulap Vilaysack

All right. Thanks, everyone for listening to this week’s episode.

SuChin Pak 

And all of the stuff we talked about, all the good stuff is on Instagram, at @addtocartpod

Kulap Vilaysack 

Rate and review us if you like the show, and only if you like the show. Take a walk if you don’t, tell your friends, tell your mom and dads and don’t forget your dogs.

SuChin Pak

We’ll see you all next week. Or we’ll be here next week or tune in next week. Wait, I can’t we’re not gonna see them. No, too literal. We’ll see you next week.

 

CREDITS

ADD TO CART is a production of Lemonada Media. Our producer is Claire Jones and our editor is Ivan Kuraev. The music is by WASAHHBII and produced by LA Made It and Oh So Familiar with additional music by APM music. Executive producers are Kulap Vilaysack, SuChin Pak, Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Wittels Wachs. Be sure to check out all the items we mentioned today on our Instagram at @addtocart pod. Also please take a moment to rate review and subscribe to this show wherever you get your podcasts.