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Sisters Olivia and Jenny believe that divorce is a gift to be celebrated. They also know that divorce can leave a lot of people, particularly women, in financial ruin. In this episode, we hear their take on how to financially heal after divorce. This episode will give you all kinds of tips on how to restart your life, and your finances, after divorce.

Please note, The Dough contains mature themes and may not be appropriate for all listeners.

If you’re interested in Fresh Starts Registry to set up your own divorce registry, join the community, or just learn more, check out their website: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/

This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures, an early-stage global investment firm backing mission-driven entrepreneurs and industry influencers working toward a fair finance system for all. Learn more at flourishventures.com.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Olivia, X Mayo, Speaker 6, Jenny, Speaker 4, Speaker 5

X Mayo  00:11

The dough is a production of Lemonada Media created in partnership with Flourish ventures.

 

Olivia  01:49

When he came home this after this big fight. He essentially decided that he needed to leave and the moment he said I think I need to leave. It was like that that pivotal moment in my life where I was like, what I say next is gonna make or break me. And I remember at that exact second my friend texted me and she’s like, what’s going on? And I was like, my husband I just said he was leaving. She was like leaving where? And I was like, I don’t know. So I said to him, You mean like a divorce? And he said yeah.

 

X Mayo  02:25

I know what this sounds like another breakup episode X. Do you want me to start eating just pancake for an hour? No, I don’t want you to do that. Well, if you wanted to. That’s your business. Okay, and bitch. Give me a plate. But, but just stay with me. Okay. This episode is not about endings. No, ma’am. It’s about new beginnings and how starting fresh after divorce can be a tough financial feat, but also an exciting opportunity.

 

Olivia  02:56

And I remember thinking this is it. I was holding a spatula, I was making dinner we were on a whole 30 together, and I was making dinner for us. And I remember thinking like, this is the moment my life is gonna begin. Like I’m free.

 

X Mayo  03:09

This is Olivia and her and her sister Jenny have always questioned like, why do people view divorce as a failure? when really.

 

Olivia  03:17

We believe that divorce is a gift. It’s a Mazel. It’s a celebration of life. Divorce is liberation and if sentence and we believe that there’s absolutely no reason to stigmatize divorce or shame people going through divorce. The divorce process sucks. Of course it does. Guess what any legal process that you have to show your financials and fight with people. That’s gonna suck, right? But the idea of divorce the idea of going through a divorce, that is a goddamn celebration, and we are always here to celebrate it.

 

X Mayo  03:50

So what if we take a divorce, right and flip it on its head? So what are we gonna do? We’re gonna make a ritual out of it. Like, do you throw a party or go on a cruise? Because now that you’ve signed the papers, and you said goodbye to that, fuck boy, you ready to start your new life? But now what do you do? In this episode, we’re tackling how to financially heal after divorce. Because with all the good intentions from all of our homies, right, that how can I help the gifted bottles of wine? People need direction and financial support through this major life change? Here’s one idea for my girls. Olivia and Jenny. Make a divorce registry. Oh, I just fucked you up. Yes, it exists. And they want to help you do it. Hey, Boo Hey, I’m your host X smile and you’re listening to the dough, a podcast for and about people still learning how to mine their cash and a business myself included. I’m right here which okay, we trucking along. Can my business manager just text me say you didn’t need to get them shoes. Okay. I know but I thought I needed it. Okay, I’m wearing sequins. I need different shoes. But don’t worry, we’re on this journey to get there. Even though we’re about to talk a whole lot about being single being your own Daddy Warbucks and being independent, do you know what that means? And arriving there is a huge accomplishment, okay, getting out of relationships, legally binding or otherwise they hard. It’s tough shit that can leave you low on dough and energy. And it may even involve some reckoning with manipulation and abuse. Yes, we have to call it thing that they we got to say it, as you heard about in our last episode, and conclusion, coming out on the other side is no small feat. But baby it is worth it. Because as Olivia sister Jenny puts it,

 

Jenny  05:47

I just truly, truly believe that happy marriages don’t end in divorce, and that there’s so much good and beauty beyond a life that you’ve maybe isn’t totally satisfying to you. I am a joy enthusiast. And I think that you need to really just pursue joy, and see where that takes you. And often, I think it’s a great thing if you need it.

 

X Mayo  06:09

And that’s why divorce is here. I wouldn’t even be thinking about marriage if I knew I had to stay with the same goddamn person for the rest of my life. There is an out yeah.

 

Olivia  06:17

isn’t out there. Absolutely. And you’re not the same person for your whole life. So why should you be attached to the same person for your whole life just because that’s something you’ve decided once right?

 

X Mayo  06:26

And okay, listen, because I love your I asked Olivia and Jenny to be our guides through the financial fuckery that comes with starting fresh. They both have their own stories. We’re starting over love first, let’s go back to the beginning.

 

Olivia  06:40

We know each other because I’m the big sister. My name I’m Olivia […] and I’m 38 years old and proud. I just saw something the other day that’s a 38 is the new 18 So I’m good. I’m good with that.

 

Jenny  06:55

And I’m Genevieve Jenny Drazen. I go by Jenny. And I met Olivia proximately 36 years ago, when I came home from the hospital. My parents brought me home to this house. Olivia and I are both podcasting from our childhood home. But they brought me home to this house and they introduced me to this woman and probably like six months later, she pitched me her first business idea. ,

 

X Mayo  07:20

That business idea wasn’t the divorce were just straight. They had to grow up and learn what divorce was first. And boy did they together as a team. Okay, so before we dive in, we have a lot in common. I am a product of divorce. They caught Yeah, my daddy wasn’t she wasn’t shit, please. But you might, but you might have a good daddy. I don’t know my daddy, if you ever see him, tell him give him my money. For not the kind that jingles please.

 

Jenny  07:51

So we come like from what we call like a very divorced family. So our, our grandparents. Our grandparents were all divorced by the time we came onto the scene. And our parents got divorced when we were seven and nine. Our parents met when they were 16. And they kind of really serious from that point. And so it’s not that shocking that by the time they were 36, and developed into who they’re supposed to be. If you met my parents now, you’d be like, how did these people ever how are they ever married, our dad just got back from a business trip and Dubai. Right? Our mom is like a water colorist that like wants to just quilt and like be at home and like hang out, like very different people. And so I think that we always just saw that there was really beautiful life beyond a marriage that wasn’t working anymore. It never was painted as a failure with our parents, you know?

 

Olivia  08:44

So when we grew up, it was like, what the rules were hazy, right? It was like, Okay, well, one grandmother has been married couple times. The other grandmother was with the same guy, but never got married. Our mind. Our mom and stepdad actually have never gotten married. But they’ve been together for 30 years. I mean, you know, and so we’re kind of like looking at these different family situations. And we’re like, okay, so we, you know, what can we learn from this, right?

 

Jenny  09:10

When it’s starting, and you’re going through it and there’s custody and there’s a house. Everybody is so angry, and it’s so virulent and you and you’re so mad at each other and you think oh my god, I’m just gonna hate this person for the rest of my life. And then I think of my parents, you know, my parents who like when my dad’s cat died buried at our mom’s house, you know, 30 years later, they don’t have any of that resentment. They don’t have it have any that anger, they kind of feel like they barely know each other. Like they’re acquaintances that share grandchildren.

 

X Mayo  09:39

Flashforward, me, because two years later when Olivia became a wife to some guy, I don’t know. Let’s call him John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt his name was my name to […]

 

Olivia  09:57

I met my ex husband on match.com When I was two 23, and he was not from New York. And so we very quickly moved in together.

 

Jenny  10:08

You should know then.

 

Olivia  10:11

He says, You ignored all the red flags. You know, we moved in together. And you know, we really just had a very stereotypical, we had the wedding. And then I was a teacher, I left teaching, I had my son, I started my marketing agency, he was very supportive of me doing my own thing. And then we had a second son, I found myself literally doing everything, right. So I remember posting in Facebook groups and being like, does anybody else like, do everything? And people will be like, What do you mean everything? I’m like, you know, the laundry, the dishes, the kids, the bills, or this or that, like, do you do everything? And they were like, Well, no, like, that’s, that’s kind of odd. But I was spinning and I was spinning, you know, and just going, slowly losing my mind, right, raising two little kids running a marketing agency and literally taking care of every emotional, mental, physical labor, in the marriage and in our lives. And so, it kind of all transpired interestingly enough of a Tax Day, April 15 2019. And I actually hear from a lot of them, when I talked to you that taxes are a big impetus for divorce, because it’s the first time of the year that you look at like your, your finances together. And so it was the first year I made a significant amount of money on my own, while raising two kids while you know, doing everything. And we had one of those like big movie fights, like you only see in the movies, where it’s like, you know, you’re yelling at each other from across the house, and he has to go to work, and I’m getting the kids ready for school. And so we had this big fight. And he left for work. And I remember I texted Jenny and I said, I think my marriage might be over.

 

Jenny  11:56

Yeah, I just gotten engaged. I was two weeks engaged. And she texts me and she goes, I think my marriage is over. And I was like, What are you talking about? I met, I literally was the officiant of their wedding. I married these two like, I you know, I was part of it. I was in I knew him better said like, second to her. I knew him better than anyone else. And I said, What do you you know, that’s crazy. And I drove the hour from my apartment to her house. And we were on the phone the whole time. And by the time I pulled up to her house, it was like, yep, you gotta get out because stuff was coming out.

 

Olivia  12:26

I hate a lot of stuff. There was a lot of emotional abuse, and you know, nothing physical. I’ve struggled with disordered eating, and eating disorders my whole life. He knew that. Right? He knew that. So when he would walk into the kitchen and say something to me, like, Oh, you’re eating everything now. Right? I knew what that meant, which was abusive. Now, if anybody else heard that, they would be like, Oh, he’s just asking, right what you’re eating. So emotional abuse is incredibly nuanced, right? And personalized for that personalized because you, your partner knows what you’ve been through, right? They know your shit. Now, I had been thinking about divorce. But I didn’t know how to verbalize it, really. And I kind of made this resolution to myself, I would wait until I made a little bit more money until my kids were a little bit older. So it wasn’t like it was like out of left field, right. And I remember thinking this is it. Like this is my moment and everything. And I remember every single thing about that moment, I was at the I was holding a spatula, I was making dinner, we were on a whole 30 together, and I was making dinner for us. And I remember thinking like this is the moment my life is gonna begin, like I’m free. And you don’t you don’t even know how deep you’re in it until it’s taken me now. It’s been four years, I’m just at the precipice of getting to be better like and healing wise, you know? And I just, you know, this is why like, my mission is to make sure that everybody knows that divorce is the most beautiful thing in the world.

 

X Mayo  13:59

But in order to make way for the post, divorce glow up, you have to work your shit out first. That’s after the break. Okay, hold up let’s back up for a second. Olivia and Jenny may love divorce but they acknowledge the obvious

 

Olivia  17:24

The divorce process sucks.

 

X Mayo  17:27

And it does. It does suck. Yes, Olivia. Correct. Divorce is famously expensive because it’s a legal matter. Right? You just can’t go over there and represent yourself like you Elle Woods. She didn’t legally blind us that no goddamn movie. Okay? It’s legality. And that means lawyers. Lawyers means I got to spend money. And starting over after burning out all that cash is no joke, especially for us women. A 2020 study showed that women over 50 in the US average of 45% Drop in their standard of living after divorce. That’s compared to a 21 Yes. 21% Drop among men of the same age. That’s less than half baby. And why are we walking away with less from the marital pot girl just robbed him. Okay, just still. I don’t give a damn if he got Marc Jacobs drawers. You could get them on a black market you can sell them for about 45 out of spot. Okay, please. I’m just playing y’all don’t steal don’t tell nobody that the dough told you see, obviously scared it was joke. And you don’t want to pull up a chair. Okay, get your pin in your pack. Because my girl Olivia has some thoughts on this.

 

Olivia  18:39

You build a life and somebody in a family. And then you split the atom. That’s all I kept coming up in my head, you’re splitting the atom. So for anybody that hasn’t been through a divorce, the first thing that the lawyers gave to us was literally an inventory. The lawyers give you a packet. And it runs through a checklist of everything that you own by room. And so I remember printing this out going through my house with a clipboard and a pencil. And you had to both say who paid for it and how much monthly they said take inventory of your life.

 

X Mayo  19:11

You have to sort through what’s shared what’s not what belongs to who and this includes debts. It’s like moving out but way more intense.

 

Olivia  19:23

It was everything my children baby bottles, you know like the baby Tylenol and then everything else from like our clothing to you know, the food in the refrigerator, the food in the pantry, the canned food, the DVDs right at the time that you had a couple years ago. I write everything for the car, right, who’s paying for the car insurance? Who’s paying for the kids insurance, tuition for preschool lunchboxes. I mean, when you think about your life, you don’t realize how much stuff you have and everything you’re paying for. Probably I think at the time my agency was bringing in maybe $50,000 A year okay. He had He was an engineer. So he can imagine making more than $50,000 a year. I was paying for everything for the kids, all the food, all the household stuff, my stuff. I was asking my parents for financial help. And I was married to an engineer, right? So it’s like, because I was a afraid to talk to my partner about money. I was afraid to ask for money for things, because I was in this very precarious situation where he was unhappy where we lived in New York. And so we live near my family. And so anytime I would ask for financial help from your partner, which you should be able to the table was turned and then the conversation was, well, maybe we can’t afford to live here. Now. I knew if we left New York, I would die. And so I made it my mission to take care of everything in our life financially so that I could stay near the people who I knew would support me, right. We split it up nicely, because he, to his credit, allowed for me to keep the house and he took his collection of acoustic instruments.

 

X Mayo  21:13

Olivia said well, the damn children been eaten who you take them by them fresh paleo applesauce. And my sister beginning […] yo ass, you got to live with this flute. […]

 

Olivia  22:05

For me, it was like a really big wake up call, because it was like things that you normally would say, oh, yeah, we both buy this right, we both we both contribute to the household the cleaning supplies or to the laundry, or actually no, I was me buying the toothpaste and the Windex and all that stuff. And so the inventory is such an interesting thing, because you don’t think about that going into the marriage. But you definitely think about it leaving the marriage.

 

Jenny  22:34

Yeah, I came in the next day with my then fiance. And we installed a security system. And we cleaned a bunch of stuff out.

 

Olivia  22:43

Jenny came over, she took a lot of it. We like to say like emotionally charged things out of the house and got new stuff.

 

Jenny  22:49

Olivia got a new bed that I constructed not well. I have a lot of confidence when building things, but not not the most competence when building things.

 

Olivia  22:59

I kind of had this like aha moment, right? Where I was like, Okay, we registered for baby stuff, right, which I did, right? We register for wedding stuff, which I did. But this is the time like half my shits leaving the house and the other half my stuff was for my wedding registry. And I don’t want to see it anymore, because it’s really triggering me to see my monogrammed pillowcases, right? So I was like, this is when I need stuff. Why is there not a divorce registry? So I Googled a lot. And I was like divorce divorce registry. The only thing that was coming up was articles saying why is there not a divorce registry?

 

X Mayo  23:38

Yeah, why wasn’t there divorce registry? You know, it’s hard enough to ask for help during a major life transition. Why not use the same tool we use when people come together in marriage, for when folks go their separate ways and need our support more than ever? Riddle me that. When we come back, the sisters will tell you all about how they made their vision, a reality. Let me kick things off here with a little twist in their story. You may have caught that little sister Jenny and her fiance came to Big Sister Olivia’s rescue as she sorted through her stuff, right? Remember she’s getting divorced. That’s because when Olivia got divorced, Jimmy got engaged because it did a little twist. And then the pandemic happened. 2020 I already know you trigger comeback. Judy’s wedding got pushed back. And while she and her husband to be chilled out at home, y’all they realized something that a lot of couples did during that dark, dark time that they weren’t a match. Like Sam and Ronnie, you know, Jersey Shore Season Three get into it. So they broke up. And unlike her sister Olivia, who stayed in her home, Jimmy had to go. So she got her an apartment. And then she left everything behind even a 300 ollar. Rice Cooker. Yeah, I love rice. And I hate cooking. And she left that behind. I told her go back and go get it and send it to me jet. And then she spent too much money she didn’t have can relate, furnish in her new home. Which brings us back to the question Olivia was asking.

 

Olivia  27:43

Why is there not a divorce registry.

 

X Mayo  27:46

And so they made one themselves. It’s called Fresh starts registry and it’s not limited to divorces and your it is bomb. Anyone making a brave life decision as they put it, breakups job changes relocating coming out, they can browser curated bundles of products and resources is extremely helpful if you need support. And if you need help ask for it.

 

Jenny  28:12

I think when we encounter the concept of divorce registries when people hear about us, they often say like, Why do you think you should get something for breaking up? Or why do you think you should get something if we’re going through a divorce, which again, we’re here for so much more than just those two things. But people in your life want to help, and you need help. And we want to bridge that gap between those two people. Because it’s people say like, Well, I’m not gonna buy you cereal bowls, but I’ll bring you a bottle of wine. And it’s like, but maybe I need those cereal bowls more than they need that bottle of wine. Don’t you want to meet people where they are right, you know, it bridges that gap, it gives permission for people to be vulnerable, and say like, I really need help right now. Right? We also like we give them scripts on the website, because it’s like people don’t know what to say when they send their registry so we write little scripts for them that they can just send in an email. Because it’s awkward, and it’s awkward tip it’s awkward to ask for help and it can be hard to ask for help and we want to take the overwhelm out of all of that.

 

Jenny  29:08

So talk about what people can register on the site because it’s now like you know the baby showers like you know, diapers and toys and you know teething rings and then when you get married it’s just like you know that very difficult lingerie that you know it’s all tastes like a fruit roll up and goes through your uterus and out your ass. What Why is this? Why is this exciting? Why are we register here? Yeah, when it comes to divorce registry is like, are we registering for a bat? matches to burn the shit.

 

Olivia  29:42

So, you know, the concept of the divorce registry comes from a few things. The divorce registry concept comes from the fact that literally half your things are gone, right? And so you need certain things. We are also of the belief that when you can change the things around you the things around you change Let’s say that you have a friend going through a divorce and you send her or him a toothbrush holder, right? Because their ex took the toothbrush holder or because in my situation, my toothbrush holder had four holes, and I didn’t want to fucking see the four holes. Because every time I went into my bathroom, it reminded me that I didn’t have a husband anymore, right. And so you send your friend, a toothbrush holder, it’s a beautiful new toothbrush holder for one person, every time they go into their bathroom, they’re gonna be reminded that a you support them, and be that the decisions they made you support, right. And so when you can confidently say to somebody in the form of maybe a new shower curtain, or toothbrush holder, I support you by giving you this item that you need, it will give a snowball effect to their life of making decisions, right? A registry is just a list of items that you need. And so with fresh starts, again, we’re bridging the gap between the things that you need, and how the people in your life can support you with those items. You know, we hear a lot of pushback from people that are again are like, Why would I buy you a divorce president you know, we already got your wedding present. We don’t see these items as presents their support. And its support can come in all the ways. It’s very self care, community care, self care.

 

X Mayo  31:15

I repeat, community care is self care, baby, don’t nothing make me feel better than getting all my girlfriends together. And we have an a good session and a good cry and a good love. I just felt like oh my god, 10 years worth of therapy and 30 minutes, right? But that’s how I feel. But that’s not what it is go to therapy. Okay, the dough advocates therapy, please go. And that brings us to another aspect of Olivia and Jenny strategy for celebrating divorce. They have a team y’all have over 70 experts across all different kinds of fields on their site. Some of them even help Olivia through her divorce. And their roles are very specific. There are some key players you might expect.

 

X Mayo  31:58

Some other folks you might not expect, unless you live in LA like me. Because getting a divorce affects much more than our relationship status. That’s what got me about my homegirl got divorced, because then he got the Hulu password. Now I got to watch ads, you see, that affects me. Anyway, you can think of this crew as kind of like a Queer Eye team.

 

Speaker 4  32:59

So if there’s a big change at home, there’s going to need to be a big change at work. And navigating that is not easy. You

 

Speaker 5  33:07

know, the stats are showing us that the men’s lifestyle is going down significantly after the divorce is over. And I believe there’s some real specific reasons why that is.

 

Speaker 6  33:16

I’m a millennial. So if I see the floppy disk, or the cordless phones or the cassette players and things like that, and I’m just like, oh my god, like we simply we haven’t used this since the 90s. Why are you still holding on to this? What are your supports? What do you need? How can we get that for you? Grief, right? Like a lot of grief work goes into therapy with divorced people. So as a divorce doula, it’s being a person who can stand beside someone and acknowledge what might be hard for them to acknowledge because their focus is elsewhere. It’s on the divorce process. It’s on custody battle, it’s on finances, it’s on all of these other things. And so I can be a person that acknowledges them as a whole human going through kind of like the operation of divorce.

 

X Mayo  34:06

The operation of divorce baby shit, that’s real. So much happens at once when you lying on that table, your dining room table perhaps surrounded by boxes of belongings from your past life, the life you thought that you were going to have and now you’re staring at the ceiling overwhelmed as fuck. Now when we face huge life challenges that empty our wallets it may seem counterintuitive to enlist all this help because I already know what you think and help costs money and nothing like free. I feel you and money’s already going out the door. Right. But Rhonda Nordyke the CDFA you just heard from is a certified divorce financial analyst and she puts it perfectly okay with all this going on at once. It’s really helpful to delegate tasks in order to actually save money.

 

Speaker 5  34:57

When we’re relying on our attorney to do For the emotional and financial staff, were really essentially doing them a disservice because we’re distracting them from what they should be focusing on, which is ultimately the legal. And then of course, obviously, the emotional part. Sometimes people will select a coach, sometimes they’ll select a therapist, sometimes they’ll have both. It just kind of depends on what healing work people have done on the emotional side on what they need. But I have found that the clients who have people in these three categories of emotional financial legal fare much better, because they’ve got the right people working on the right parts of the process. People sometimes will think that it’s more expensive to have the right people. And I would argue that it’s actually less expensive, because you’re not calling the billable hour attorney, you know, three, four or $500 an hour, looking for emotional support.

 

X Mayo  35:54

And so the idea is by working with people like Ronda, or any of the experts on the fresh starts registry, you can spread out the stress of divorce, without overspending on your lawyer. It all comes back to community care, right? We talked about that community care is what Say with me, self care. Yes, ma’am. That’s what helped Olivia get through her divorce. Thanks to her team and her sister, Jenny, the end of her story is now a happy one. She eventually sorted through everything in her house replaced what she needed and started fresh. And now, Olivia and Jenny are focused on helping others do the same. Since they started their business back in 2021. They learned a lot from all the freshers as they call them who have come through the website. So here’s the best advice they’ve collected for you, or anyone you know, going through a transition.

 

Jenny  36:45

First of all, go through your finances, it is so scary, but it’s important to know what you start with. And then my big piece of advice recently has been know what you can buy at thrift shops know what you can buy that is sustainable, that is recyclable, right. So it’s good for the environment. And it’s cheap for us. I mean, I want to support my local thrift shops, and I don’t want to contribute to just the more more more culture. So I would say definitely do a full inventory of your financial situation. And be aware and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

 

X Mayo  37:12

And you can begin by getting the lay of the land yourself in the information helps. What’s your booze income string looking like? Any investments you don’t know about? Maybe you heard about some impasse and write them down. Right, right, right, right, right. I’m gonna hold pays which bills, sift through old mail and take pictures of credit card statements, pay stubs and paid invoices to approve it? Does he have a safe? Sneak into it? Oh, you already know the password is same as his phone. Look around and get familiar with what you can’t. And remember that lawyers are not financial experts. Okay. They’re lawyers, not financial experts. Okay. Even though they may seem like it because they are experts at getting money out of us. Yes, they are. Over the years, studies have shown that women disproportionately suffer from the economic costs of divorce compared to men, which is fucked up. And I’m working on fixing that with this podcast. But until I do, ladies, mind your dough wisely by seeking the right help at the right cost.

 

Olivia  38:20

Also lean on people like divorce coaches, like I said, Time with a divorce coach to strategize and build a plan that you can bring to a lawyer will save you 1000s of dollars in the long run, because you’re not doing that all with a lawyer. Right. And also, like, it’s okay to get creative with your finances, right? I’m a big fan of using what skills you have to make money if you need to. So if you are a teacher, you know, create some content that you can sell on a website or if you are, you know, a coach, try to coach people, right? Going through a hard time going through a fresh start is always gonna be overwhelming. So just do what you can to keep your mind at ease. Because if your mind is at ease, then everything else will flow from there.

 

Jenny  39:02

I think that one thing that I like to add is I’ve had many, many fresh starts in the one major one was when I moved to New York, and I went on vacation and just stayed and it turned into eight years. But I hear that story reached I reached into I reached into my community, my support system, the people that I met during fashion week that inspired me to just stay and then the people that were home in Los Angeles. So I think going into your tribe going into your community, like there were so many people that didn’t have any money to help me pay rent, but they had the activity of their limbs to help me move, you know, like, and it was people that were working at restaurants that were like, hey, x, I can get you a discount or you can come eat here for free. So I think really, I know it’s difficult but be vulnerable because you’d be shocked at the amount of help that’s ready and available for you if you would just ask.

 

Olivia  39:54

100% And I just want to add to that too, like when it comes to like support and there’s so Many ways to support people. We outline this in our book, actually, there’s so many ways to support people that are free, totally free, right? Whether it’s helping them do research, whether it’s FaceTiming with their kids, whether it’s, you know, sending them a card, whatever it is, so many ways to support people that cost you nothing, and it means everything to them and gives them the confidence they need.

 

X Mayo  40:23

Thank you so much, Olivia and Jenny for getting us across the finish line on this series about marriage, divorce and all the money mishaps that come with saying I do and now I don’t and let me get my rice cooker JD you can check out their site fresh starts registry at fresh starts registry.com not.org If you have a Hotmail account to go to bed, please. Next week on the dough, we’re talking wellness products that are too good to be true. I’m already triggered. Get out your jade rollers and pop and ashwagandha because we have a story for you straight from the mouth of a recovering wellness influencer.

 

X Mayo  41:11

Yes, she went to wellness anonymous and then she came out and she got help. And she got tips on how to avoid that slippery slope of internet spending. There is more of THE DOUGH with Lemonada Premium. Subscribers get exclusive access, yes girl, to bonus content like how to own being a broke bridesmaid I mean need to punch that. Subscribe now in Apple podcast. The Dough is a Lemonada Original. I’m your host X Mayo. This series was created in partnership with Flourish Ventures. This episode was produced by Kristen Lepore and Becca De Gregorio. Tony Williams is our associate producer. Mix and sound designed by Ivan Kuraev. With additional mixing and engineering from Andí Kristinsdóttir. Original Music by Pat Mesiti-Miller. Kelsey Henderson is our production intern. Additional production help from Jerusalem Truth, Claire Jones, and Hoja Lopez. Jackie Danziger is our Vice President of narrative content. Executive Producers include me X Mayo, Stephanie Littels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Help others find our show by leaving us a rating five stars, and writing a review. You can follow me on IG at @$80inasuitcase and Lemonada at @LemonadaMedia across all social platforms, not including MySpace. Follow the dough wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership. Thanks so much for listening. See you next week. Bye.